Hobgoblin humor?

[hymer]

What sort of humor do you think hobgoblins have? I imagine goblins like practical jokes of deceit and cheating. Orcs may find bullying endlessly amusing. But what about hobgoblins? Or are they completely humorless?

[JeenLeen]

I'd imagine something like cliche police bar or veterans/soldier bar jokes. (Or real ones, for anyone who knows it beyond TV or movie scenes.) A bit more callous and cruel, given the tendency towards evil, but similar in feel, maybe?

Still a sense of humor, but with a tendency where you deal with violence and issues of enforcing rules or the law. And note that, as most are underlings, they can joke/gripe about the higher-ups. Yeah, they do their job, but it doesn't mean they don't wish they were the ones giving orders.

[hymer]

Interesting idea. They could even have a resigned quality, as in "The boss isn't always right, but he's always the boss."

Or the one about the hobgoblin sergeant riding down a trail, coming on a warlord unsaddled, examining his own worg's leg critically. "Is your worg injured, sir?" asks the sergeant. The warlord grins: "No, yours is. Get off mine."

[No brains]

Probably a lot of jokes that go out of their way to be cruel to goblins and bugbears.

They might also use some spin on 'I don't know what I've been told' chants while marching.

On the unexpected side, the fact that Maglubiyet conquered their pantheon might give them a kind of absurd world outlook. The universe doesn't make sense and it's cruel, but you may as well have fun with it. So bizarre things that don't make sense might give them a funny reminder of their own situation.

[hymer]

Probably a lot of jokes that go out of their way to be cruel to goblins and bugbears.
"Do you like bugbears or goblins best?"
"Depends on the sauce."


They might also use some spin on 'I don't know what I've been told' chants while marching.
This is a family forum, so I won't go there. :smallbiggrin:


On the unexpected side, the fact that Maglubiyet conquered their pantheon might give them a kind of absurd world outlook. The universe doesn't make sense and it's cruel, but you may as well have fun with it. So bizarre things that don't make sense might give them a funny reminder of their own situation.
Hmm... Examples?

[LibraryOgre]

Interesting idea. They could even have a resigned quality, as in "The boss isn't always right, but he's always the boss."

Or the one about the hobgoblin sergeant riding down a trail, coming on a warlord unsaddled, examining his own worg's leg critically. "Is your worg injured, sir?" asks the sergeant. The warlord grins: "No, yours is. Get off mine."

The worg might have something to say about that.

[hymer]

The worg might have something to say about that.

I think there's something about obeying orders and liking it. :smallwink:

[No brains]

Hmm... Examples?

It's hard to tell what deities the hobgoblins had before Maglubiyet (I don't remember that passage in Volo's rigtht now), but one day something came in, bulldozed their perceptions of the universe and morality and said 'you're soldiers now'. That might make them laugh at stuff that's just weird or out of place. Dank memes may be a good resource for absurd humor. Like that parrot sitting on a toy tank saying 'peace was never an option'. Except in their case it may be like a sparrow sitting on a chariot saying the same. Even after the commander who thinks they're being mocked makes them do laps still they stop laughing/ breathing may look at it and chuckle.

[jjordan]

Based on my experience with the military it's going to be dark humor and practical jokes at the hazing level.

Scorpions in your boots.
Sending the new guy to get non-existent things. "Ask the quartermaster for some spear grease. Hurry."
Adding rocks to the new guy's pack.
Setting fire to random bits of people's equipment while they are wearing it.
Some variety of "Kill me" signs stuck to the back of armor.

People making mistakes that result in embarrassment or injury will be hilarious.

[willdaBEAST]

In 5e at least Hobgoblin art seems extremely influenced by samurai culture, you could look for some ideas in Japanese humor. It’s very different than American humor, so that might help make it feel unfamiliar and unique.

[LibraryOgre]

Based on my experience with the military it's going to be dark humor and practical jokes at the hazing level.

Scorpions in your boots.
Sending the new guy to get non-existent things. "Ask the quartermaster for some spear grease. Hurry."
Adding rocks to the new guy's pack.
Setting fire to random bits of people's equipment while they are wearing it.
Some variety of "Kill me" signs stuck to the back of armor.

People making mistakes that result in embarrassment or injury will be hilarious.

I don't think "new guy" tricks work as well when your entire culture is geared towards being a soldier.

[Man_Over_Game]

They could do it like Germans do: bland, grey humor that mostly laughs at their own lack of humor.

"My grandfather brought down 28 planes during the Second World War. He was such a terrible mechanic"
"A: 'Boss, I need to take a break tomorrow because my wife is demanding me to spend time with the kids' - B: 'That is unacceptable!' A: 'Thank you, I thought you'd understand!'"
"A German can make a funny joke, but it will take him all day to make. Telling one to make a joke is no laughing matter"
"How many lawyers does it take to defend a tiefling? -Dunno, nobody's ever tried!"

[SpawnOfMorbo]

What sort of humor do you think hobgoblins have? I imagine goblins like practical jokes of deceit and cheating. Orcs may find bullying endlessly amusing. But what about hobgoblins? Or are they completely humorless?

I feel like South Park's German people would make great Hobgoblin comedians.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

A cannibal.

What?!

You are about to die and be eaten.

No! I will murder you first!"

[Maelynn]

I doubt they've got a lot of humour, as Volo's states that "they leave little space for joy or leisure in their lives". (p 46).

My first thought was they'd have the kind of jokes that bullies use - picking on the lower and/or weaker ones. However, the same page also states they have a "race's code of honour" and that "suffer nor give insult" is something they highly value. So I doubt they'd make jokes at the expense of others.

My best bet is they have either scatological or vulgar humour. Bit like students. ;)

[solidork]

Ok, but what if their rigid society led to sort of subtle comedy of manners being popular?

[darknite]

I like to think that Hobgoblins are fans of Ziggy and The Family Circus styles of humor.

[jjordan]

I don't think "new guy" tricks work as well when your entire culture is geared towards being a soldier.Having survived two different military schools and active military service I'm going to politely disagree.

[LibraryOgre]

Having survived two different military schools and active military service I'm going to politely disagree.

I still disagree, from having grown up military. Hobgoblins grow up in the military the way few people can understand; about the closest I could think of would be a military brat whose parents both served, treated their kids like freshly enlisted recruit (You know the kids; the ones who said "Ma'am, yes ma'am" with crisp precision to their first grade teachers), and who enlisted early.

And it's not one or two of these... it's practically everyone.

[Sigreid]

That horrible, abusive crap we all joke about but wouldn't do; a hobgoblin jokester does that stuff.

[RedMage125]

I think a culture that so strongly re-enforces ideas of discipline, order, and structure would have humor that reflects that.

A hobgoblin joke might be about a soldier who disobeys orders and dies horribly. They would find that funny because he got what he deserved.

As far as practical jokes, I absolutely think that hazing rituals on the "new guys" would be a thing. Since saving face is so important to them, the humiliation of others would be comical.

This extends to other aspects of their life as well. A Hobgoblin bard who composes a poem in which the author considers derelicting his duty for love (but still chooses duty) could be considered racy and licentious, even subversive, by their standards. Because he even considers it.

[jjordan]

This extends to other aspects of their life as well. A Hobgoblin bard who composes a poem in which the author considers derelicting his duty for love (but still chooses duty) could be considered racy and licentious, even subversive, by their standards. Because he even considers it. My class at AIT sang a marching cadence about desertion. We thought it was hilarious.

[LordEntrails]

"Next time your goblin hunting party fails to bring home meat, we'll eat the hunting party!"

---
Hobgoblin 1; "They say Grok has killed more soldiers than anyone else in the army."
Hobgoblin 2; "No doubt about it."
Hobgoblin 3 (new guy); "Is he the captain?"
Hobgoblin 2; "No, Grok's the cook!"

---
1: "Don't let Urk dig the latrines."
2: "Why's that?"
1: "Because the stew will taste funny."

---
"How does a goblin carry his arrows? In his back!"

---
"Where do elves store their arrows? In a goblin!"

---
1: "How did Grok learn to cook?"
2: "His mother taught him that when it's burning it's cooking and when its just smoking it's done."

---
"Last week Captain Moog sent us to reinforce a scouting party. But he wouldn't tell us where they were because they were on a secret mission."

---
Captain: "Soldier, do you have change for a gold piece?"
Soldier: "Sure bud."
Captain: "That's no way to address your Captain! Let's try it again; Do you have change for a gold piece?"
Soldier: "No Captain!"

---
"What do elves taste like? Chicken!"

"What do half-elves taste like? Chicken, but you are hungry again in 20 minutes!"

[Segev]

They would probably find the novel Catch-22 hilarious.

They also likely would enjoy the kind of jokes in Dilbert, though it would be more subtly done.

With the emphasis on manners and not giving insult nor tolerating it, the Japanese culture of subtly insulting in a way that one cannot afford to acknowledge was actually insulting is probably a thing, and humor would reflect this.

This also gives me an opportunity to quote one of my favorite exchanges credited to Sir Winston Churchill:

"Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your tea."
"Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!"

The 70 Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries likely have some gems that would be considered humorous to them.
"Everything is air droppable at least once."
"Covering fire should be more distinguishable from friendly fire."
"A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on."
"A demolitions expert at a dead run outranks absolutely everyone."


Insult-humor at whatever race or country or clan they're facing, though never to their face:
"Why don't orcs have wizards?" "They can't spell 'book!'"


Overweight general: "I don't have to take this from that young warrior! I am far suprior in combat!"
Majordomo: "Of course, sir; you're twice the warrior he is. He would be lost in your mighty shadow."

[Irrek57]

Do you know what the chain of command is soldier?
It's the chain I'll beat you with until you realize who's in command here.

--Hobgoblin Commander

[Tawmis]

What sort of humor do you think hobgoblins have? I imagine goblins like practical jokes of deceit and cheating. Orcs may find bullying endlessly amusing. But what about hobgoblins? Or are they completely humorless?

I have always imagined them humorless. For some reason I see them as (evil) monster Samurai type monsters. Honor is everything. There is no time for humor.
No idea where I got that notion though... other than maybe 1st Edition... so that's probably where it's always stuck with me...
https://ipfs.io/ipfs/QmXoypizjW3WknFiJnKLwHCnL72vedxjQkDDP1mXWo6uco/I/m/D%26DHobgoblin.JPG

[Envyus]

Hobgoblins have always been fairly stoic, but the biggest thing I would say that makes them unlikely to do stuff like hazing and pranks is this cultural note.


Suffer nor Give Insult. As befits their warlike nature, hobgoblins believe that any insult demands a response. Suitably (and somewhat ironically), the outward politeness and civility that they demonstrate among each other enables them to avoid conflicts in daily life. This same form of “courtesy” is often extended to other races the hobgoblins have dealings with, much to the outsiders’ surprise. When such respect isn’t reciprocated, though, relations can swiftly deteriorate.

[Makorel]

All Hobgoblin jokes have been pre-approved by the upper chain of command. Goblinoids who tell unapproved jokes at mandatory comedy nights will be subject to reprimand. Goblinoids who tell Goblin Command approved jokes outside of mandatory comedy nights will also be reprimanded.

"Why did the Hobgoblin cross the road? To pillage the lesser races!"

"A goblin was once caught in dereliction of duty, and 3 Hobgoblin Spears were arguing about how to make an example of him. 'Put his head on a pike!' one said. 'Dip him in searing oil!' said the second. 'Feed him to the Worgs!' said the third. The Hobgoblin Fatal Axe, overhearing their idiotic blathering, simply said, 'there's no need for this foolishness, underlings! You can do all three!' And so the goblin was dipped in oil, his head was chopped off and piked, and his body was thrown to the worgs."

"'Knock knock.' 'Who's there?' 'The orcs. 'The orcs who?' 'The orcs whom you should have killed by now but you did not and now they will kill you!'"

Goblinoids who do not laugh or make an appropriate amount of joyful noise during the telling of Goblin Command approved jokes will be reprimanded. Goblinoids who make too much noise after the telling of Goblin Command approved jokes will also be reprimanded, as will goblinoids who make noise at inappropriate moments during the telling of said jokes.

[hymer]

All Hobgoblin jokes have been pre-approved by the upper chain of command.
The old veterans sitting around the camp fire have long since numbered the jokes for convenience. So one of them will go "Number 38." They all chuckle appropriately. Then one goes "Number 102." They all chuckle, but one of them can't seem to stop. He just keeps chuckling. The others look at him, puzzled. Finally, the chuckling one subsides sufficiently, and manages to explain:"I hadn't heard that one before."