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View Full Version : DM Help Tramatic Backstorys and the effects on the party



ViroxNellium
2019-08-02, 05:24 AM
Hello, I'm working on a character with a... seriously messed up backstory.
as a player, and previously a DM I'm worried that this characters backstory
MAY have gone a little too serious. I'm not really sure if I should rewrite the
characters backstory or if i don't, I'm not sure I can role-play the backstory
appropriately.
I've really gotten connected to this character, and I'd really appreciate some help.
(The campaign is a darker and grittier world view. Rated M for mature.)

Quertus
2019-08-02, 05:51 AM
Hello, I'm working on a character with a... seriously messed up backstory.
as a player, and previously a DM I'm worried that this characters backstory
MAY have gone a little too serious. I'm not really sure if I should rewrite the
characters backstory or if i don't, I'm not sure I can role-play the backstory
appropriately.
I've really gotten connected to this character, and I'd really appreciate some help.
(The campaign is a darker and grittier world view. Rated M for mature.)

Know your group. Know what they'll accept, and what they won't.

Know yourself. Know how you'll roleplay a character with this background.

Compare the two.

Note that this is one of the reasons I prefer having a series of one-shots before starting a serious campaign, to iron out such details, in case the values above are unknowns.

Zhorn
2019-08-02, 05:53 AM
Hello, I'm working on a character with a... seriously messed up backstory.
as a player, and previously a DM I'm worried that this characters backstory
MAY have gone a little too serious. I'm not really sure if I should rewrite the
characters backstory or if i don't, I'm not sure I can role-play the backstory
appropriately.
I've really gotten connected to this character, and I'd really appreciate some help.
(The campaign is a darker and grittier world view. Rated M for mature.)

Will need more details than this for anyone here to offer constructive help.
Use broad strokes and dot points, save the flower sentences for the final draft (avoid any TL:DR thread viewings)

player goals?
character's main motivations?
key backstory events?

ViroxNellium
2019-08-02, 06:22 AM
Thank you for the help so far, I think the party should be able to handle it. as far as the backstory events, the character in question was forced into something they did not fully understand nor want and it left the character... damaged. I've checked sources like sanity rules and mental statuses for game play to help fully describe the character
to others.

Character goals, or only goal is to live, and see what life has outside of what they've dealt with, and maybe find something more substantial.

(EDIT) I've added some of said mental statuses to the character already. Ex: night terrors, Haphephobia, Androphobia, and Body dysmorphic disorder.

Zhorn
2019-08-02, 06:54 AM
I'm working on a character with a... seriously messed up backstory.
as a player, and previously a DM I'm worried that this characters backstory
MAY have gone a little too serious. I'm not really sure if I should rewrite the
characters backstory or if i don't, I'm not sure I can role-play the backstory
appropriately.
Thank you for the help so far, I think the party should be able to handle it. as far as the backstory events, the character in question was forced into something they did not fully understand nor want and it left the character... damaged. I've checked sources like sanity rules and mental statuses for game play to help fully describe the character
to others.

Character goals, or only goal is to live, and see what life has outside of what they've dealt with, and maybe find something more substantial.

(EDIT) I've added some of said mental statuses to the character already. Ex: night terrors, Haphephobia, Androphobia, and Body dysmorphic disorder.

... okay ... Personal opinion this IS too dark and serious a topic for game.
Whether your fellow players can handle the topic or not, this is one of those story dominating themes. It pretty much locks the other players out of trying to have fun within the same story without coming across as insensitive.
A darker and grittier tone is one thing, but unless all the other players are on board with getting THIS level of serious, I'd advise to back out of that one.
Again; just a personal opinion. You know your table better than me.

ViroxNellium
2019-08-02, 07:28 AM
... okay ... Personal opinion this IS too dark and serious a topic for game.
Whether your fellow players can handle the topic or not, this is one of those story dominating themes. It pretty much locks the other players out of trying to have fun within the same story without coming across as insensitive.
A darker and grittier tone is one thing, but unless all the other players are on board with getting THIS level of serious, I'd advise to back out of that one.
Again; just a personal opinion. You know your table better than me.

Thats a fair opinion, thank you for saying so. I'll double check with my table as I don't want to ruin something we all enjoy together. :)

Spore
2019-08-02, 07:58 AM
Remember if you do this, don't go overboard with the edgy backstory. A character can start off with defining characteristics but they have to be explained along the way else the character is just a template and not a product of their past. It is simply bad writing to have the most important and interesting stuff of the character happen in the past, with the adventure being a simple pasttime to bridge the gap between two brooding sessions. Involve the group. Try to have the defining moments happen DURING the story.

People here always joke about the brooding drow ranger with two scimitars and the tragic backstory. But even he eventually got a trilogy explaining his upbringing and similar. Two examples:

Your character could have been the child of a forced union during a cultist rally, the next evil messiah. S/he fled and grew up to be an adventurer. But have her/him start off as relatively normal and adapted. They could spook easily or dislike the dark but that is it. Reduce it to a few quirks.

Your character grew up in said cult and his mind is warped beyond recognition. He is twisted, he displays several mental disorders. I feel that is not only hurtful to those who suffer from the disorders if not done extremely well. It is also deeply uncomfortable for almost any player at the table.

As the Nostalgia Critic said in the episode where Captain Planet talks about HIV: The topic is sensible and needs spotlight but you are not talented enough for this.

Quertus
2019-08-02, 08:44 AM
the character in question was forced into something they did not fully understand nor want and it left the character... damaged.

(EDIT) I've added some of said mental statuses to the character already. Ex: night terrors, Haphephobia, Androphobia, and Body dysmorphic disorder.


Try to have the defining moments happen DURING the story.

As the Nostalgia Critic said in the episode where Captain Planet talks about HIV: The topic is sensible and needs spotlight but you are not talented enough for this.

So, I'm of the opinion that most GMs are not talented enough to engineer character-defining moments (let alone ones like this!) to happen in a game without serious risk of ruining the game and/or the character. No, this is definitely something you'd want to have as part of your backstory, if you want to play this character.

Your character's background doesn't have to dominate their life, or take center stage. You have chosen how the backstory will manifest, but remember that you have the ability to choose differently in that regard. Or to choose the severity to which these behaviors manifest.

So, understand your group, and see if there is a way to get the character you want, without it being a detriment to the table.

Which, mind you, some tables will explicitly want such things to take center stage, and would actively dislike of you tried to make it just a character quirk. So, know your group. Design the character that will work for them, not what will work for us.

False God
2019-08-02, 08:57 AM
I would generally advise to not play any sort of disorder or phobia that you have not personally experienced. Disorders and phobias are serious business. D&D in general is not.

Aside from looking at compatibility with your game from a thematic sense, it's also worth looking at compatibility from a gameplay perspective.

I've had (and still have) night terrors. It's not uncommon for me to wake up screaming my head off, or "partially wake up" and be screaming but not really be awake and capable of stopping. In our modern lives, this isn't much of a problem, I can close my windows and noone hears me.

But lets say your party is on the road camping, or on the run, or some combination of hiding from the enemy and sleeping. You've got a character who has a good chance to out of the middle of nowhere become a very loud beacon to your party's location. And since, unlike real life where you had no say in being born with that, in fantasy land it was you choice to give that effect to your character, which your party may not appreciate.

Next, man-phobia. There is, I would guess, a pretty good chance you'll have some male party members. There's also a pretty good chance you'll encounter a man here or there (assuming they're at least 50% of the population) Phobias are irrational, often uncontrollable reactions to certain stimuli. Touch? Sure, no reason your party needs to be touchy. It's one thing to be afraid of something you can control. It's another to be afraid of literally half the population. These sorts of phobias can very realistically keep people from ever going outside, since the chance to trigger their phobia is so incredibly high.

Finally, Body-Dismorphia is an incredibly hot IRL issue. I doubly advise against making characters that are dealing with hot IRL issues unless again, it's something you have personally experienced. Most people just can't do it very well and even more people aren't going to take well to someone acting it out.

AdmiralCheez
2019-08-02, 09:40 AM
I've found that character traits, like phobias and things, can be fun in certain situations, so long as the character doesn't drag down the story for the rest of the group.

Say, for example, a character has severe arachnophobia. Roleplaying being scared of the spider cave is well within reason, as is making irrational decisions when giant spiders appear. That can be fun, and adds to the character. But if that character flat out refuses to go on part of an adventure because of the phobia, or interrupts the flow every few seconds to scream at a spider or run away, or give away the position of the party to everyone in the area, it can get irritating pretty fast.

I guess my best advice would be just don't overdo it. Making your character's trauma take the spotlight too much can be off-putting, and bogging down the story to showcase personal drama, especially if no other characters are directly tied to it, is better suited for a novel, not a tabletop game. So, use your best judgement and read the room. If it looks like the rest of the party are getting annoyed with your character, or are otherwise uninterested in the drama, tone it down, or internalize it.

Trampaige
2019-08-02, 09:44 AM
(EDIT) I've added some of said mental statuses to the character already. Ex: night terrors, Haphephobia, Androphobia, and Body dysmorphic disorder.

So you decided to enter a grimdark game with a character who was raped and is totally traumatized by it.

It's in incredibly poor taste and it's the lowest common denominator trope for establishing how grimbaddark something is. You may be attached to the character, but I'll hazard a guess that you don't actually understand what you're approaching, or how to approach it properly.

I'd be very bothered to say the least if someone dropped that kind of character into a game I was starting in, and seriously question the judgment of the person for considering it.

ViroxNellium
2019-08-02, 11:00 AM
So you decided to enter a grimdark game with a character who was raped and is totally traumatized by it.

It's in incredibly poor taste and it's the lowest common denominator trope for establishing how grimbaddark something is. You may be attached to the character, but I'll hazard a guess that you don't actually understand what you're approaching, or how to approach it properly.

I'd be very bothered to say the least if someone dropped that kind of character into a game I was starting in, and seriously question the judgment of the person for considering it.

The idea came to me when I realized i could use this dark and gritty world to work on issues close to my heart that I've not had the opportunity to really work on. I thought that a fantasy world using my character as an alias and in the company of dear close friends would be an ideal local. And although i understand your point, I'd appreciate that if you're going to call out in such a manner that you should get to know the person in question, or as others have done in thread, respectively say that my original opinion was accurate and it could be considered overly taboo. And again thank you all for your input, it has been most insightful.

Koo Rehtorb
2019-08-02, 11:02 AM
Anything's fine, so long as everyone's fine with it. Find out if they are.

Quertus
2019-08-02, 01:10 PM
Touch? Sure, no reason your party needs to be touchy.

Cure Wounds, maybe?


Anything's fine, so long as everyone's fine with it. Find out if they are.

+1 this.

Ventruenox
2019-08-02, 02:39 PM
I would strongly suggest a session zero to discuss this concept with your table. If session zero already happened, do a messenger chat with your group.

If they are close friends, you may be able to explore this topic and find some therapeutic value. Remember that they are here to play a game too, so don't be put off if they don't want to buy in with this avenue.

If your table is not comprised of close friends, this character concept could create opportunities some pretty awful things to be said or acted out through their characters.

I'm not telling you how to play your character, nor will I assume to know your table, I just caution you that if you identify your own real life experiences with your character too deeply, you may be setting yourself up for some powerful emotions to come out at unexpected times.

Here's a link to the Haunted One (https://media.wizards.com/2016/downloads/DND/CharacterBackground_HauntedOne.pdf) background.

False God
2019-08-02, 02:41 PM
Cure Wounds, maybe?

Yes I suppose that could present a problem.

ngilop
2019-08-02, 03:28 PM
This is a horrible idea. For several reasons.


I shall.only talk about one because to me, that is the reason with the biggest impact.

RPGs are games meant to be played with friends and/or acquaintances. To either just socialize with the game coming in a distant second or gathering to tell a mutual mythic story... or any- and every- thing in between.

Trying to turn what most expect to be a fun social gathering of a sort into your psychiatric counseling session is a betrayal of the basic assumption of the social contract of gaming.

You should seek actual professional advice, support, and help in dealing with your issues. Not pawn it off on supposedly "close friends".

I know that speaking for myself and I need to stress MYSELF, not any single other entity in existence, any friendship where my friend dumped what you are planning on doing on me. At the very least would find itself extremely strained if not broken.

Tawmis
2019-08-03, 02:54 AM
(EDIT) I've added some of said mental statuses to the character already. Ex: night terrors, Haphephobia, Androphobia, and Body dysmorphic disorder.

I was on board with this until: Body dysmorphic disorder.

I could see that something happened one night, by a male figure, and now you flinch at anyone's touch...

All of those are pretty serious (but easily tied together) to work on something that could be reasonably roleplayed. But adding the Body dysmorphic disorder... that kicks it up an extra notch. To understand (and perhaps you do based on what you said later, more on that) the full spectrum of that; it means having your character looking in the mirror, hating their body, constantly wanting to improve their body, going to great measures to even potentially disfigure themselves...

And then I read this:



The idea came to me when I realized i could use this dark and gritty world to work on issues close to my heart that I've not had the opportunity to really work on. I thought that a fantasy world using my character as an alias and in the company of dear close friends would be an ideal local.


If these are real feelings and situations you're experiencing, I would say rather than create a character; this might be better handled with professional help, because in the real world, if you're dealing with this; these are serious conditions that could be crippling. And I understand, the reason we all play D&D, is because inside of us, there's something we all want to do; what we wish we could do. Perhaps we were nerds who never got the girl, always got picked on, lived in a boring area all of our lives; whatever the case might be, D&D provides an avenue to be something we're not, and perhaps do something we've never done or could do in the real world.

The reason I say, professional assistance would be the route to go, on top of these being serious conditions; imagine if the table you're playing at, gets annoyed at your character, for always having these odd phobias, that makes it difficult to do anything in the game. Imagine if your friends get annoyed. Imagine. If these are feelings you've got buried inside of you; you will digest it that you can never tell your friends about this. And perhaps if they knew these were real feelings, they'd be able to talk to you about it. Be a shoulder for you, an ear to bend. But as a character, and if they don't know this is really you you're playing; you're blindsiding them, and potentially about to inflict more serious doubts and holes in your ownself as you begin to associate how they react to your character as being how they'd react to you.

Just something to consider.

False God
2019-08-03, 08:44 AM
Just gonna reply to +1 the "talk to a professional".

There are lots of things your friends can do to help you through tough times, but when they do, it should be because you are open an honest with them about what you are going through, and they are willing to help, even if they're not really capable of doing anything more than offering an ear or a shoulder.

But counselors, therapists, psychologists can do a lot more and I'm not even talking about pills. They're trained to help you with stuff like that.

The line between player and character is always a blurred one. But putting too much of your own personal beliefs, issues, and behaviours into a character can blur that line in your head as well, making it difficult to determine if a reaction came from another player, or their character, and if it was a reaction to you, or your character.