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Hario
2007-10-12, 02:31 PM
So I've been in a campaign run by this girl I've had a crush on for a while. She had her campaign run from last year, so some of the players have a pretty long history. They didn't have a healer so I made a druid, and since it was a group of non-optimizers (one is a rogue/bard/barbarian) I made sure I didn't try to shine too hard. Thought its tough not shining hard when its easy to be strong with a druid. So I've been trying to be a good player, by helping the PCs, even though I'm the only other good aligned party member, (everyone else is neutral) and even brought snacks and drinks for everyone, every week.

I never once felt like I was included in the group, I quickly had the powergamer label onto me, even though I was just doing my job (she was throwing CR 1-2 encounters at us... we're level 5!). At one point the CN sorcerer blows up a bunch of beurocrats w/o talking to them and enjoys watching them burn to death (I feel he's been falling towards the evil alignment and point this out to him and the party). During that encounter I still try to be the good player by making a distraction of myself as an army invades the town hall, I get back to our camp, and have been followed. The sorcerer later takes it out on me and puts the blame of everything on me, and made the party go against me, I had a feeling I wasn't wanted but I wasn't gonna act on it.

So he scorching ray'ed me, and in my head I know I should have just killed him (not hard for an evocationist sorcerer to go down, simple entangle, and flaming sphere should do it) but I knew a few of the party might side with him and I didn't want to ruin this girls game with a possible party wipe and it'd just feel like the outsider powergamed his way to kill the party. I have no idea what I should do, I don't want to feel left out, I don't want to make a new character (I can't play neutral characters), and I don't want to ruin her game, she's fine with PVP, and doesn't want to stop IC actions.

What should I do? I talked to her about it, she asked me what I want her to do? I have no idea what I should do at all. She's willing to do what I want but I don't want to impose on her players no matter how much of jerks a couple of them can come off...

OX166
2007-10-12, 02:39 PM
Kill them. Make them cowwer before your might. They will then fall in line. Make it clear. If they go against you ..a force of good...than they are evil in your mind. You are a druid, a natural creature. If they want to pose as food devour them. Assert your self. Never let someone cast there shadows onto you. IF she was a fault stick by it. And if sorcerer ever shoots you again....and you don't kill her....you'll be answering to my LG Cleric....ok not really....but if a PC wants to get frisky.....destroy em...if 2 want to get frisky ....destroy them...and so on. Do it quick wityh no hesitation. Show no weakness. Good is not pansy!!! Especially in the face of evil!!!!!

OneWinged4ngel
2007-10-12, 02:39 PM
Well, quite frankly, I would just have left the group a long time ago. I couldn't put up with a group of jerks like that for so long when I'm not getting paid for it.

Of course, that solution sucks for you (for obvious reasons already stated), so I don't really know what to say. It sounds like the group you play with is rather insane. :smallconfused:

BardicDuelist
2007-10-12, 02:42 PM
Talking to the DM was a good idea, but maybe you should talk to the players who you have a problem with. Just ask them why they are acting that way, and such. If they say "it's my character" then PvP that results in their death isn't unacceptable response, although it may be a little immature (I still think it makes sense if somone shoots you to shoot back, but it does derail the game).

Jasdoif
2007-10-12, 02:42 PM
Basically you have four choices: Resolve the situation out-of-character, kill the guy (IC) in self-defense, get used to being treated like this, or find a different game.

OneWinged4ngel
2007-10-12, 02:48 PM
Kill them. Make them cowwer before your might. They will then fall in line. Make it clear. If they go against you ..a force of good...than they are evil in your mind. You are a druid, a natural creature. If they want to pose as food devour them. Assert your self. Never let someone cast there shadows onto you. IF she was a fault stick by it. And if sorcerer ever shoots you again....and you don't kill her....you'll be answering to my LG Cleric....ok not really....but if a PC wants to get frisky.....destroy em...if 2 want to get frisky ....destroy them...and so on. Do it quick wityh no hesitation. Show no weakness. Good is not pansy!!! Especially in the face of evil!!!!!

Heh. Actually sounds like a good idea really. Stand up for yourself. Don't just sit down and take it when people throw dirt in your face. And it would be so incredibly easy to wipe out that entire party (*REGARDLESS* of what your character build is, since druids are self-optimized before you do anything at all to them) with next to no chance of loss unless you get cheated somehow. Seriously, just Wildshape into a Fleshraker or something and go to town. Or make your animal companion eat them all.


Basically you have four choices: Resolve the situation out-of-character, kill the guy (IC) in self-defense, get used to being treated like this, or find a different game.
That really sounds like all the options you have. Leave, stand up for yourself, or get used to being *****ed on.

Brawls
2007-10-12, 02:57 PM
Kill them. Make them cowwer before your might. They will then fall in line. Make it clear. If they go against you ..a force of good...than they are evil in your mind. You are a druid, a natural creature. If they want to pose as food devour them. Assert your self. Never let someone cast there shadows onto you. IF she was a fault stick by it. And if sorcerer ever shoots you again....and you don't kill her....you'll be answering to my LG Cleric....ok not really....but if a PC wants to get frisky.....destroy em...if 2 want to get frisky ....destroy them...and so on. Do it quick wityh no hesitation. Show no weakness. Good is not pansy!!! Especially in the face of evil!!!!!

Yup +++++

Whoop Ass in the name of good. If this guy willingly murdered NPCs for no reason and has now attacked you, I would give him a severe beatdown. Let him live, but let him know that those kind of actions will have severe reprisals if they occur again. If he or the group doesn't change their tune, sounds like a case where your character would leave the group, perhaps pausing long enough to inform the local law enforcement where the camp of the murderers is located. Then let the DM know she can use your character as an NPC BBGG to plague them over the course of their campaign. Then I would bail on the group, ask the DM out on a date, and laugh at the other players' misfortune as you go on to live a life well spent!


Good is not pansy!!! Especially in the face of evil!!!!!

Truer words have not been spoken!

Brawls

NEO|Phyte
2007-10-12, 02:58 PM
Fight back, and make a point of doing only nonlethal damage. Tell him IC that if he does that again, you'll kill him.

Yeygresh
2007-10-12, 03:08 PM
The sorcerer later takes it out on me and puts the blame of everything on me, and made the party go against me

By 'Go up against', do you mean that they(the rest of the party) all think you did it and severely dislike you; or are they all actually trying to kill you?

If the former, Entangle the sorcerer and tell him that if he does not admit the truth, your animal companion friend(preferably a badger) with perform some plastic surgery on his face. If the latter, entangle them all and tell him that if he does not admit the truth, your animal companion friend(preferably a badger) with perform some plastic surgery on his face.

The player will either:
A: Try to call your bluff and you kill him; and then you'll probably have to dispatch the rest of your party.
B: Will not want to make a new character mid-session(Never fun to miss out on a game) and tell the truth.

Solo
2007-10-12, 03:09 PM
Tell them next session that you feel like you're unwelcome and ask if the plays have anything against you personally.

If they say no, then feel free to let the slaughter begin. After all, the sorcerer did commit murder.

If they say yes, it is time to resolve the situation maturely.

Cade Shadow
2007-10-12, 03:12 PM
Perhaps this is a 'trial' for you. Maybe they're testing to see what you'll do. You said the DM is alright with PvP, maybe they've all fought against each other before and now its your turn?

InkEyes
2007-10-12, 03:16 PM
I vote for talking OOC about this with the other players. Explain that you've been trying not to outshine them and you've even taken steps to pull back when you do. Say you really don't want to ruin the game for anyone. Bring up that you're trying to adhere to your alignment and therefore don't approve of randomly torching townsfolk. Finally, point out that you would never have been followed by angry townies if the sorc hadn't set their bureaucrats on fire.

Fiery Justice
2007-10-12, 03:25 PM
If you decide to go the violent route:
Challenge him to a duel. If he won't fight you straight up have your character "brood" for a bit, the next night when its your watch (make sure you take a watch) use Poison (the spell, I'm assuming you have a wisdom of 16 so the DC to resist the spell is 15) on the idiot, call some nature's allies and pretend to try and fight the other PCs (they all seem to be cool with PvP you should point out, and there are lots of them and only of you, this is the in character thing to do), savage them up pretty badly (don't kill them, killing another player when they already don't like you is bad). Run to the nearest forest in a false retreat. Turn into a falcon (hawk, carrier pidgeon, doesn't matter, but a falcon will sell it best to the guards) and deliver a written message giving the information of where they are, what their plan appears to be, and so on. You'll want to send it under a fake pen name like say, "Sir Michael of *insert a kingdom here* the Just" or something paladinish. Don't make it sound like its ostinatious, just a kind of, I am making a paladin suggestion, something like "I followed the murderer and discovered his camp, the villain is clearly the leader, and should be dealt with as all murderers should, I recommend a strong force as he is a sorcerer and quiet wicked, I will regretfully be unable to deal with him myself as I have other duties to attend to in the service of *insert a kingdom here*. Sincerely *false name here*." Immediately upon leaving the message. fly out the window and change back to normal. Go to bed. The next day, have your druid go in the opposite direction as where the party was. Don't look back. If they don't die (which is ludicrous after being damaged and their sorcerer poisoned, they should at least be seriously damaged, probably on the verge of a TPK.), make a new character.

kamikasei
2007-10-12, 03:36 PM
I mostly agree with Brawls. Try, at the start of the next session, telling the other players OOC that you don't understand whether this is personal, or their characters are just jerks, or what, but that either way you're not enjoying this and you'd appreciate it if they'd help work towards more of a sense of party unity, telling you what they expect of you in this case (after all, maybe CN/E mayhem-making is the norm for the group and they just want you to join in). If they clearly don't want you in the group, leave - after tearing their characters to shreds.

I would advise against saying anything like "I've been trying not to make you all look bad" - they may well take that as an insult. Just go with "look, I've a powerful class and the challenges aren't that tough, so naturally I look powerful taking them down. If you guys feel I'm hogging combat, perhaps <DM> could give us slightly harder opponents so there's more to go around. I'm just trying to play a guy who helps out his allies, and it wouldn't make sense for me to do nothing at all while you fight. As far as this incident in the town, all my character's doing is standing up for himself. Unless you have some plan for where this is going, I don't see the point of our characters fighting over it and the party getting wrecked. Can't we just patch up our in-game differences and get on with the adventure instead of going at one another's throats?"

And yeah, if you end up cutting your losses, let the DM know you're interested (probably best done after the session, not in the presence of the others). Who knows, maybe standing up to them (in an assertive, not macho, way) will have some appeal to her. Of course, that'd be a happy side-effect of it being the right thing to do anyway.

Telonius
2007-10-12, 03:38 PM
So I've been in a campaign run by this girl I've had a crush on for a while.

The root of the whole problem, right there; and also why you haven't found a new group.

Is she worth it? Despite the fact that she's chosen to surround herself with a bunch of utter jerks? If your answer to that is no, get out of the group and get yourself a woman strong enough not to take that kind of nonsense. If your answer is yes, handle it like a gentleman - assertive, intelligent, and firm. Make it clear to the other players OOC that your character isn't the type to stand for that. Then, "handle it" IC.

SurlySeraph
2007-10-12, 03:42 PM
Entangle him. Summon something to grapple him, as well, to make sure he can't cast on you. Tell the party that he's lying about you, is a murderer who is evil/ will get guards and/ or Paladins sicced on you (depending on how evil the rest of them are), and insist that they bring him to a Zone of Truth or suchlike. Or, if you get him alone, threaten to kill him if he does anything that evil in the future (preferable if you threaten him in the abstract - "Nature shall return your evil to you, restoring the balance" or something like that). Ask the DM if you can make a Diplomacy or Intimidate check to affect him. If possible, you may want to do something like putting a Geas on him.

Proven_Paradox
2007-10-12, 03:43 PM
I would suggest asking the DM out and then leaving the group myself. It sounds like a terrible game environment to me; I wouldn't be able to stand it for long.

tainsouvra
2007-10-12, 03:47 PM
Hario,

My advice isn't so much for the D&D game, but rather for a different goal. As far as the D&D game goes, you should not be playing with that group, as their goals and yours simply do not mesh and, while it is possible to salvage it all, it wouldn't be as much fun as simply doing something else. This is an opportunity, however, not a setback. She wants to keep you included in her game--otherwise she wouldn't be willing to modify things to keep you involved--but obviously playing the current campaign alongside her current players isn't a good match for you. This has an implication you probably want to consider.

If the girl you have a crush on wants to keep you included, but being with her current group isn't working right, I think the obvious solution is to do something together and without the current group. You have a lot of good options at this point, as long as you have a little perspective...
Time to take some initiative, and not the d20 kind :smallwink:
My personal recommendation would be to ask her to talk with you about how the campaign is going over lunch. Out somewhere, your treat. Tell her your concerns about the party's playstyle as opposed to yours, and that while you like her DMing you don't think the group is a good match for you--but that you would like to find another game/group/activity to play with her. Try to have one or two suggestions ready before you arrive (maybe one of your friends would DM a campaign? Maybe a few rounds of Munchkin? Keep it in the same overall genre) but don't be too attached to any of them, you want to hear what she suggests. The point here is to set up something where you can both be playing together but not with her current group--don't badmouth them, just say that it's not a good match for you--that way you can have a more pleasant setting and be on equal footing with her.

Try to not hit on her too much, by the way, since it's only lunch :smalltongue:

An opportunity to be spending time with her, in an innocuous manner, is a very good thing. Don't worry too much about the D&D game, there will be other campaigns--this is an opportunity to spend more time with your crush, finding things you both like doing that don't necessarily involve her current circle. Someday you might even thank the obnoxious players in her campaign for giving you such a good setup :smallbiggrin:

Swordguy
2007-10-12, 03:54 PM
Most groups are insane.

Anyway, addict the schmuck to some hard drugs on the sly and set yourself up as his only supplier.

Or, if you really wanted, I guess you could do that to his character too.

Machete
2007-10-12, 04:05 PM
(IC) Next time you are in a civilized area and the sorcerer or other party member assaults your character. Alert the town guard, show them the injuries and let THEM (ad thereby also the DM) take care of it.

If that fails, maybe they need to play a game called Paranoia to get the PKing out of their system.

sikyon
2007-10-12, 04:10 PM
Girls like alpha males (true), so... here's my advice.

Whatever you do, if you think the party will fight you don't kill him, because then you'll have to kill the party and it's a TPK, and that's not good for her game.

So here's my advice:

1) Humiliate his character. Entangle, grapple him, use nonlethal damage and then when he's knocked down, tie him up (no somatic components) then toss him outside the tent, tell the other players he tried to kill you (a clearly evil act, seeing as how you hadn't provoked him physically). Describe that your character is holding him down with your foot, so they can't reach him/he can't struggle out. Tell them that you are taking him, and going to find a palidin to detect evil on him, and they can come if they like, to guarentee his saftey and find out the truth. This is the great part. Before you detect evil, tell the palidin all the reasons you think he's evil and that he should detect evil on him. Then, if the DM says that he's evil, she obviously agrees with your reasoning (yay!). If not, she doesn't agree with you and thinks you're a jerk.

2) Kill him, tell the rest of the party, see what they say. If they attack you, lecture them about how evil they are becomming, then wildshape into a bird and fly away saying that you can't associate with them. Then ask to make a new character. If they are mean to your character still, then they don't like you. If they have different attitudes, then they've warmed up.


So option 1 allows you to find out more about her, option 2 allows you to find out more about them.

Also, asking her to lunch to talk about D&D and maybe help her with DM'ing/ask for character advice could be a great idea! Then after lunch invite her to your place to browse your collection of supplements that she might not have. Obviously, don't do anything (that's sketchy) but maybe ask her out after the next session, saying something like "I really enjoyed lunch last ____, maybe we could do it again sometime, but I could get to know more about you than the D&D aspects?" or something like that.

I dunno, I'm just fantasizing now.

Solo
2007-10-12, 04:11 PM
And don't heal their characters.

sikyon
2007-10-12, 04:14 PM
And don't heal their characters.

Don't do something like this, it's just jerkish. Instead, don't heal their characters with the pretense that you can be more effective with the extra spell slots (maybe true). Ask them all to chip in for wands of cure light wounds or something like that. Honestly, no party NEEDS a healer.

CrazedGoblin
2007-10-12, 04:30 PM
don't play a druid maybe?

AKA_Bait
2007-10-12, 04:36 PM
Is she worth it? Despite the fact that she's chosen to surround herself with a bunch of utter jerks? If your answer to that is no, get out of the group and get yourself a woman strong enough not to take that kind of nonsense. If your answer is yes, handle it like a gentleman - assertive, intelligent, and firm. Make it clear to the other players OOC that your character isn't the type to stand for that. Then, "handle it" IC.

QFT

Stand up for yourself in the situation. Sadly, few things in life (and this really is a thread about life, not the game) are accomplished by backing down from folks when those people can hurt you very little. Backing down to make the girl like you more, frankly, will not work. Tainsouvra's lunch suggestion is also a good one but you have the option of discussing potential reactions with her. Making shared plans with people is endearing.

If she leaves it up to you, incapacitate the sorcerer. If he refuses to repent, kill him. If he does repent and ever tries something like it again, kill him on the spot. If anyone gets ancy and attacks you: rinse, repeat. You warned them (and the dm). Chicks dig self respect.

PlatinumJester
2007-10-12, 04:38 PM
don't play a druid maybe?

Yeah ask if you can play a different character due to mountin party tensions. Then make him an Archivist (HoH) so you still heal or be a Healer (MHB) if they still think you are a power gamer.



Or just ask the girl out (easier said then done) and then leave the group even if she says yes unless you want to tolerate the other players.

Dausuul
2007-10-12, 04:52 PM
Girls like alpha males (true)

Some girls like alpha males. Some girls don't. Making generalizations about what all women want/like is... well, let's just say it's inaccurate and leave it at that.

Having said that, I'll toss out a generalization of my own and say that in my experience, women who are seriously into gaming (and this one clearly is, since she's not merely playing but actually running 3.5E D&D) are not usually interested in men who demonstrate their "alpha-ness" by beating up other men.

And even if she were into that, do you really think the OP would look impressive to her by having his imaginary character on a sheet of paper beat up somebody else's imaginary character on a sheet of paper?

Now, one thing most people (male or female) do find attractive is confidence. And confidence is best demonstrated by approaching the whole business in a mature and responsible fashion. As other posters have said--talk it out with the group. Point out that PCs are about to start killing each other and ask, politely, if there's something about your approach to the game that doesn't fit with their play style. If they say yes, figure out what it is and whether you're willing to change it (and be prepared to walk if you aren't). If they say no, well, you've made a good-faith effort to resolve any outstanding issues, thereby clearing your conscience and demonstrating your maturity and self-confidence. You've talked it over with the DM and she's okay with PvP. You can now wipe out the other PCs. That's how some gaming groups roll.

(Whatever happens in the battle, though, don't take it personally. Don't gloat if you win and don't get upset if you lose. And if making a neutral character isn't your style, make another good character... the group is evidently fine with intraparty conflict.)


Also, asking her to lunch to talk about D&D and maybe help her with DM'ing/ask for character advice could be a great idea!

Asking for character advice is a good idea. Offering to help with DMing, only if she asks you for help. I've heard far too many female gamers complain about how male gamers assume they don't know what they're doing at the gaming table. (Granted, if she's sending CR 1-2 critters at a level 5 party, she might not know what she's doing, but that doesn't mean you should jump in to help without being asked.)

And if you want to ask her out, for God's sake, just ask her out. To something non-D&D-related--a movie, dinner, whatever. If she says yes, great! If not, at least you've got an answer.

Kurald Galain
2007-10-12, 05:04 PM
If this sorcerer guy is as immature as he sounds, your best bet would be to ditch the group and ask the girl out. Being honest to all is the best way. You can even tell her you like her and her game, but not this guy.

Since he might not be as immature as he sounds, try talking it out with him and the group first. Out of character, that is.

I realize this has been said already, so I could be QFT'ing all of the above.

sikyon
2007-10-12, 05:09 PM
Some girls like alpha males. Some girls don't. Making generalizations about what all women want/like is... well, let's just say it's inaccurate and leave it at that.

Having said that, I'll toss out a generalization of my own and say that in my experience, women who are seriously into gaming (and this one clearly is, since she's not merely playing but actually running 3.5E D&D) are not usually interested in men who demonstrate their "alpha-ness" by beating up other men.

And even if she were into that, do you really think the OP would look impressive to her by having his imaginary character on a sheet of paper beat up somebody else's imaginary character on a sheet of paper?

Now, one thing most people (male or female) do find attractive is confidence.

Confidence is what I mean, and all women like it because it's a biological imperative. You can look over it, but instinctual attraction is impossible to overcome as long as you're a living creature. You're also not just beating up his player, you're showing that you're going to do what you're going to do (taking him to get checked for evil alignment), and that the group can now follow you if it wants. If it doesn't, then too bad for them. That's confidence. Ie. your character's story isn't going to be dominated by what they do, and to a small extent (side quest detour) what the DM layed out.



(Whatever happens in the battle, though, don't take it personally. Don't gloat if you win and don't get upset if you lose. And if making a neutral character isn't your style, make another good character... the group is evidently fine with intraparty conflict.)

I agree wholeheartedly with this. If you want to punish them... be a palidin an optimized palidin! That will kill them if they detour. Thus, IC reason for vengence. (but still not optimal).

tainsouvra
2007-10-12, 05:47 PM
Confidence is what I mean, and all women like it because it's a biological imperative. This is too general. Most women respect it, many women like it, but there are some that do neither. In general, these are not women I would associate myself with, but they do exist and there are some men who like it that way. The girl Hario is talking about, though, is almost certainly looking for confidence. The responses he has relayed broadcast it pretty clearly.

I reiterate that staying in that game is probably not a wise decision. It is true that his spot in the game can be salvaged--but doing so is almost certainly not going to make as good an impression on her as dropping the game while keeping her. All of the within-game options are suboptimal when compared to the in-person response of drawing her off for time away from the group.

I should probably stop giving that sort of advice on an internet forum, though :smallamused:

Hario
2007-10-12, 10:38 PM
To reiterate my feelings (seeing as I wrote the last one right before work so needed to rush). She knows how I feel about her though I havn't formally asked her out, and she wants to wait till the end of the semester. I've been friends with her for 2 years and we met each other in 'the realms' a larping system in new england that we play together still to this date. Overall the whole dating her is 'complicated to say the least' she got over her first real relationship in may, and has had guys flocking to her because she's a girl who likes being around guys, she's told me I'm her first choice, I don't know where it will go and such, but I just need to sit and wait. As in the 'is she worth it?' I really hope so, she has made me happy for the past 2 years as a friend, we have similar interests feelings and opinions (except for dnd, she's more houseruling I'm more by the books)

She has been one of the people who noticed my character 'womping' on her npcs, though it was mostly because I summoned a Dire wolf (she might have 2 encounters a day, so that might be why using a lvl 3 spell might be too powerful). My animal companion is an advanced wolf and my character is a raptoran (RotW), who disguises himself to look like a human or an elf in public due to poacher and hunters after raptorians for their wings. The game is pretty much core only unless she approves of something ahead of time.

Now something I did forget was that the DM doesn't like giving money to PCs but will let the PCs get pretty much whatever magic items they want, within limits. At one point they decide to invade a goblin warehouse to kill goblins and get magic items that were stolen, I point out to the party its evil to take things that aren't theirs and they should be returned to their rightful owners, but even the paladin (he plays off and on) takes a holy bastard sword and a +3 full plate (they got ridiculous magic items she let them come up with a list). Needless to say I was the only party member not looting the warehouse.

I do want to show the sorcerer up, and I don't feel subduing him will lead to salvation. If I do kill him it won't prove anything to her. She doesn't like powerhouse characters that break games. She doesn't even hand out XP (this has been getting on my nerves, no lvling up at all yet) and we have been stuck at lvl 5. I do feel that if I do leave she will feel like she is a bad DM (which I don't want her to feel that way, though I don't feel like I'm playing dnd at all). This may be a real life problem but it feels like I'm worrying about nothing, sure I'm more worried about her than the game, but its still a game and shouldn't bother me at all.

Jasdoif
2007-10-12, 10:55 PM
I do want to show the sorcerer up, and I don't feel subduing him will lead to salvation. If I do kill him it won't prove anything to her. She doesn't like powerhouse characters that break games. She doesn't even hand out XP (this has been getting on my nerves, no lvling up at all yet) and we have been stuck at lvl 5. I do feel that if I do leave she will feel like she is a bad DM (which I don't want her to feel that way, though I don't feel like I'm playing dnd at all). This may be a real life problem but it feels like I'm worrying about nothing, sure I'm more worried about her than the game, but its still a game and shouldn't bother me at all.Well of course it bothers you. It's your crush's game, you've got an emotional investment in it due to her involvement in it.

That said, look: Even doing nothing, says something. If you're willing to have your character be the sorcerer's personal punching for the sake of impressing this girl, that's certainly a choice...but it sounds like you're taking the same kind of crap out of character, too. Ask yourself if being a willing victim is really going to impress her.

Again, you have four choices. Let me generalize my earlier statement: Resolve it out-of-character, resolve it in-character, consign yourself to the treatment, or quit attending the game. You'll have to decide for yourself what's best for your goals.

Ralfarius
2007-10-12, 11:19 PM
You are, at present, in a somewhat no-win scenario. If you whomp him good, you prove how superior your druid is to his silly blaster, but that likely reaffirms the 'powergamer' stigma you've acquired. If you tuck your tail and let him do whatever, you're essentially rewarding him for his uncouth behaviour, which I believe to never be a good idea.

Trying to resolve it OOC is probably the most 'mature' route, so to speak. If you can open a calm, respectful dialogue with this other person, then you either have a chance of reaching some sort of agreeable solution, or proving that the other player is just a total weenie. You just have to be very diplomatic, don't try to call him out in the middle of everything.

I mean, you were invited to the game, it's proper etiquette for them to at least try to make you feel welcome. However, if they don't really want you, there's not too much that can be done to change their bias.

Personally, I'd say whomp that sorcerer's ass. Flat out.

Kurald Galain
2007-10-13, 04:11 AM
has had guys flocking to her because she's a girl who likes being around guys, she's told me I'm her first choice, I don't know where it will go and such, but I just need to sit and wait.

I'd hate to say this, but this sounds like she really isn't interested in you romantically, and is kind of stringing you along. Or, to put it differently, falling in love is an emotional thing, and girls just don't fall in love with the one they have rationally decided to be the "first choice". At least, very rarely. She's aware of your feelings, and not reciprocating; that should tell you something.

Aside from that, it would seem that the group's playing style simply clashes with yours. So I would suggest you find a different group; having a crush on the DM (who is aware and does not crush on you) is not worth staying in the group for.

Bender
2007-10-13, 04:52 AM
If you really want to stay in the group, have your druid say something about retreating back to nature, wild shape in a bird and fly off. Make a monk/bard/samurai and don't optimise him.

I don't know much about women, but waiting is probably not going to help. Doing something unexpected might (flowers, whistling her favourite song, inviting her to a picknick on a beautiful day...I really don't know what she might like of course)

Xuincherguixe
2007-10-14, 06:34 AM
Seems to me there's two issues here.

I'm probably the worst person to be giving advice on women, about all I can say is to express your feelings and not worry so much about rejection. But it seems you've already done that so not much more to say. Maybe she's interested, maybe she isn't but doesn't want to tell you that. You have to be prepared for a lot of confusion too.

As far as the group goes? I'd say try to work things out with them if you feel like it's worth it. Don't stick around just because you think you may have a shot with the woman. If she is interested, then it shouldn't matter how you deal with the group. If she isn't, she isn't going to change her mind.

It serves no function to kill their characters. If you don't like them don't bother playing with them. The game isn't all that important. And if you're feeling vindictive (and I don't think you are) killing someone is letting them off far too easily.


But I do hope things work out with her.