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View Full Version : 'Your' beneficial uses for the undead?



Yvanehtnioj
2007-10-18, 12:16 AM
I was thinking of several uses one might actually use undead for, as they can act like motors that do not ever tire.

1. One was, buy a big ship propelled by oars. Instead of the standard slave rowers, use zombies.
2. Another was, have them push a crank; like Conan did in "Conan the Barbarian." Connect this to a mill to grind flour, or to some other mechanical device (water pump maybe).
3. Hitch a wagon to several skeletal horses. No need for food or water.
4. Use some to dig ditches, or other fortifications for your newly acquired fort.


What are a few ideas of yours?

Hario
2007-10-18, 12:24 AM
Number 2 works better if you turn them,
"ahh flee my zombie!, oh you came back for more egh?"

Stormcrow
2007-10-18, 12:43 AM
Much the same applies to demons in exalted, that lovely line of text that says they will work until the task is complete rocks pretty damn hard.

*Summons Demon*
"Build me a castle!"
*Demon builds castle*

Xefas
2007-10-18, 12:54 AM
Hollow out the insides of a Zombie Dragon or similarly large flying creature.
Install seats and overhead compartments.
Open chain of airline businesses.

Install a seat in the ribcage of a Huge Skeleton (possibly from a Cloud or Storm Giant).
Pretend you're riding inside a primitive Mech.

Xuincherguixe
2007-10-18, 12:55 AM
Mining?

Deciding the program line ups on Television stations? (Wait, you said beneficial, not disturbingly accurate)

Ramos
2007-10-18, 02:06 AM
Turn to vampires all the prostitutes in your area then use command undead. Higher charisma, higher stamina (undead do not tire), no need to pay them.

:smallbiggrin:

Josh the Aspie
2007-10-18, 02:14 AM
Turn to vampires all the prostitutes in your area then use command undead. Higher charisma, higher stamina (undead do not tire), no need to pay them.

:smallbiggrin:

Well, except that your clients will tend to start disappearing any time they order a service that includes the word "suck."

Keep in mind, high charisma can also mean that they have a startlingly imposing presence. Unless the clients like being really scared... well... might be bad for business. Besides... turning a sentient being to an undead in order specifically to mind control them? Might as well start using dominate spells.

Fishy
2007-10-18, 04:29 AM
Zombie pearl divers? Zombie miners? Zombie well diggers? (The water is probably not good for drinking, but.)

Zombie bell ringers, locked in guard towers in the desert/snowy mountains?

reorith
2007-10-18, 04:52 AM
searching for traps
target practice
exp
crowd control

SoD
2007-10-18, 04:56 AM
Undead uses?

Start a band with the other players, and get a zombie to be the drummer. They're no smarter than the average drummer! :smallwink:

Hallavast
2007-10-18, 05:14 AM
Re-animate the bodies of those who have died of old age, and volunteer them at the local retirement home.

Tor the Fallen
2007-10-18, 05:49 AM
Undead uses?

Start a band with the other players, and get a zombie to be the drummer. They're no smarter than the average drummer! :smallwink:

Ba-dumpbraaaaainnnnnsssssssssssss

Dode
2007-10-18, 05:51 AM
Qualify for the Lichloved feat.

Duff
2007-10-18, 06:09 AM
Party Cleric dies

Pale master raises dead

Slips on Tabbard saying "If found please return to the Teple of (insert friendly deity here) for resurection

Party paladin's eyes bug out as he tries to justify his objections...

jameswilliamogle
2007-10-18, 06:46 AM
Qualify for the Lichloved feat.I knew that would come up eventually.

I had a LN Dread Necromancer that Animated Undead, and had them bury themselves all over the countryside. The idea was that in an emergency, the local government would have a backup militia, if it came down to it.

But, all the major uses (manual labor, transportation) have already been mentioned.

Trap disabling is ok, but there's some mind-effecting traps out there, too. Make sure to Awaken Undead some of your heavy-duty zombie-meat shields, and have them do this role as well.

I had the idea of using Disguise (also Dread Necromancer in-class) to disguise some intelligent corporeal undead that were already fairly intelligent and charismatic (Ghasts are a good example). You'd make them appear like the living, then set them up all over the area as spies, collecting information. On top of each network, you have a Vampire directing them (for flavor, mainly). You then could do whatever you want w/ the information: blackmail and extortion, market timing, or to actually benefit the area by keeping thieve's guilds and other baddies out of the community.

F.L.
2007-10-18, 08:54 AM
Being undead makes them ideal recruits for the service industry.
Also, game shows. Zombie racing.

Solo
2007-10-18, 08:55 AM
"Set forth my undead minions! Save the orphanage!"

Xefas
2007-10-18, 09:01 AM
"Set forth my undead minions! Save the orphanage!"

I had a Dread Necromancer do something akin to that in one of my games. Only, it was his first time playing D&D, so he wasn't really acquainted with the different kinds of undead. He had some Allips...

"Go, my undead minions! Pick up the children and carry them to safety!"
"Congratulations! You just turned half a dozen children into permanent brain-dead vegetables."
"I'm...I'm not neutral anymore, am I?"

Josh the Aspie
2007-10-18, 09:06 AM
DANCING!

No, really. Just get a bunch of skeletons together and have them do some kind of massive non-sexy line dance. Just imagine it. Massive skeletons doing a country western line dance with the announcer being the one to command them. Or the Macaraina. Or a vaudeville dance number!

Fishy
2007-10-18, 09:08 AM
Or Thriller.

Grimfist
2007-10-18, 09:40 AM
Within lies super-secret undead tech!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v301/nichanator/Necrolarryftw.jpg

Seriously though, make pit traps and put undead in them. Hilarious.

Zacharius
2007-10-18, 09:40 AM
"Go, my undead minions! Pick up the children and carry them to safety!"
"Congratulations! You just turned half a dozen children into permanent brain-dead vegetables."
"I'm...I'm not neutral anymore, am I?"

Depends.There was Dragonlance novel where kids were not afraid of Red Dragon.

It is also possible that in a pseudo-medieval setting people are less interested in protecting kids and more interested in toughing them up.

"Stop whining, it is just a zombie"

F.L.
2007-10-18, 09:53 AM
Yes, it's just a zombie.

At least it's not a housecat. Those things are killers.

The_Werebear
2007-10-18, 09:58 AM
Projectile Weaponary

Why have zombie rowers in boats? Have them walk along the bottom and drag the ship.

Alex12
2007-10-18, 10:04 AM
Two words. Zombie horses. As strong as normal horses, and they don't get tired.

Quietus
2007-10-18, 10:42 AM
Two words. Zombie horses. As strong as normal horses, and they don't get tired.

Skeletal horses are just as strong as regular horses, zombies are slightly stronger. Skeletons, however, don't end up smelling like wet ass carried downwind.

Lord Tataraus
2007-10-18, 10:47 AM
Yes, it's just a zombie.

At least it's not a housecat. Those things are killers.

Tibbit assassin :smallamused:

Use the skeletons as mannequins for your new clothing line!

Belial_the_Leveler
2007-10-18, 10:49 AM
The dead make good soldiers: They are fearless, they can't disobey orders, they never surrender, and they dont stop fighting when a random bodypart falls off.

-Nevinyral, badass necromancer-

Freelance Henchman
2007-10-18, 10:49 AM
Servers in fast food restaurants? "You want BRAAIIIINNNNNSSSS with that?"

The Linker
2007-10-18, 11:28 AM
Wanna feel better about yourself? Get together about 500 zombies together and race against them in a marathon. Then when you win you can turn around and say "OOOOOooooo, outshuffl'd!" And then you find out thier legs fell off 50 miles back.

That's just a good feeling all around. Beating 500 other racers? Woot!

The_Werebear
2007-10-18, 12:03 PM
Oh, another good idea: Building blocks. Tell them to lock arms and legs, and stack them into a log cabin. When you need to move, tell them to roll out.

Intimidation Factor is another cool thing. It's pretty badass to travel in a sedan chair hauled by slaves, but incredibly badass to travel in a sedan chair built into a Dragon Skeleton.

Laurellien
2007-10-18, 01:12 PM
Phylactery stores

1) Bring a zombie and your phylactery into a rope trick.
2) Feed the phylactery to the zombie
3) Imprison the zombie.
4) Leave the rope trick.
5) Dismiss the rope trick.
6) ???????
7) Profit!!!

Nobody will ever be able to destroy your phylactery without undoing existence.

Doresain
2007-10-18, 01:29 PM
The dead make good soldiers: They are fearless, they can't disobey orders, they never surrender, and they dont stop fighting when a random bodypart falls off.

-Nevinyral, badass necromancer-

drudge skeletons ftw!

another use for undead, walking bombs...take the destruction retribution feat, animate cats, then send them to attack your enemies...

Laurellien
2007-10-18, 01:34 PM
Reusable tanglefoot bags.

Just send a load of large, mindless undead to grapple a wizard. Very effective.

boomwolf
2007-10-18, 01:59 PM
well.
if you got an undead with lots of hitpoints you can use them as siege ammo.
think about it. they crash into the city, do a lot of damage to whatever they fall on, then start slaying the people inside.
best off if that undead can turn others to undead too.

Doresain
2007-10-18, 02:11 PM
dont forget corpsecrafter feats...they apply to any undead you create, and most of them rock

PlasticSoldier
2007-10-18, 02:15 PM
How bout caravan gaurds? If you get undead that make others undead you'll never have recruiting problems.

Vuzzmop
2007-10-18, 02:19 PM
Space travel. Less money for space suits and oxygen, more money left over to do something useful with, like start work on Venus instead of mars.

Alternatively, make an endless power source, as the undead army run on a giant treadmill.

Doresain
2007-10-18, 02:19 PM
what about furniture? there was a necromancer variant in one of the dragon magazines that made fleshie undead furniture...it would be like pee-wee's playhouse of the damned

jameswilliamogle
2007-10-18, 02:20 PM
How bout caravan gaurds? If you get undead that make others undead you'll never have recruiting problems.aww, cool, forget about just the guards: ENTIRE CARAVANS! Awakened undead to run it, and a bunch of zombies commanded to "guard the caravan from everyone but [the one in charge]." Nobody can compete: 24/7 caravans, never have to feed them, never have to pay them!

Chaos Bringer
2007-10-18, 02:21 PM
Oh, another good idea: Building blocks. Tell them to lock arms and legs, and stack them into a log cabin. When you need to move, tell them to roll out.



That is just far too disturbing. I guess I should try it :smallbiggrin: .

I wonder if it works with RAW to shrink zombies down to something edible sized, have something consume them, cast dispel magic and watch the hilarity ensue?

Alex12
2007-10-18, 02:24 PM
That is just far too disturbing. I guess I should try it :smallbiggrin: .

I wonder if it works with RAW to shrink zombies down to something edible sized, have something consume them, cast dispel magic and watch the hilarity ensue?

It's funnier to do that with metal.

Copacetic
2007-10-18, 04:56 PM
http://www.nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=040518

Except just use already dead people:smallamused:

Leliel
2007-10-18, 06:45 PM
Skeletal horses are just as strong as regular horses, zombies are slightly stronger. Skeletons, however, don't end up smelling like wet ass carried downwind.

The problem with skeletons, you're essentially riding for miles with a spine between your legs. Can you say "crotch pain"?

Lord Tataraus
2007-10-18, 07:04 PM
The problem with skeletons, you're essentially riding for miles with a spine between your legs. Can you say "crotch pain"?

Can you say spend your money on an expensive saddle with all the money you saved? Or better yet, a carriage?

Vuzzmop
2007-10-18, 11:38 PM
"Its close to midnight and something evils lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
Youre paralyzed

cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no ones gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know its thriller, thriller night
Youre fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight."

That, but with a legion of the undead.

AslanCross
2007-10-18, 11:45 PM
well.
if you got an undead with lots of hitpoints you can use them as siege ammo.
think about it. they crash into the city, do a lot of damage to whatever they fall on, then start slaying the people inside.
best off if that undead can turn others to undead too.

Or those undead that explode with clouds of disease when they die.

Waspinator
2007-10-19, 01:47 AM
Two words: door stops.

PlasticSoldier
2007-10-19, 05:44 AM
Two words: door stops.

Two words: Automatic Doors.

jameswilliamogle
2007-10-19, 08:53 AM
Awaken Undead + Skeletons + Perform Ranks = The Grateful Dead

Giant Undead Insects, hollowed out seats w/ chairs mounted inside = VW Van

Quietus
2007-10-19, 02:22 PM
The problem with skeletons, you're essentially riding for miles with a spine between your legs. Can you say "crotch pain"?

Tatarus has the idea that I was thinking about. Just buy a cart or wagon, they aren't that expensive, and make it as comfortable as you like.

Also compare with the horrible jokes about riding a zombie horse. Crotch rot, anyone?

smart thog
2007-10-20, 04:20 PM
Heres one. Needles + thread + zombies+ knives= Zombie transformers. Zombies chops off limbs, get a zombie to bend and sow and "taada" Zombie cars. takes a lot to get the wheels working though. Its better for the environment, plus nobody can keep road rage when they are gagging on the smell. easy commute!:smallbiggrin:

Telvos
2007-10-20, 04:59 PM
Okay, here ya go: You've got a big, powerful necromancer, right? He's got tons of power, just bursting with necromantic abilities.

Well, he has a daughter. She's 6 or 7 years old, she's gonna be an undead sorc eventually; But, in the mean time, what does she do?

Why, she plays with her dollies.

Imagine it in your head, putting a blonde wig on a zombie and having her pretend to be the little housewife, and the husband zombie who comes home from a long day of (whatever) to his house where his wife has fixed him a nice meal...

Cute ^^

Oh, and weird. But still cute.

Doresain
2007-10-20, 10:45 PM
Okay, here ya go: You've got a big, powerful necromancer, right? He's got tons of power, just bursting with necromantic abilities.

Well, he has a daughter. She's 6 or 7 years old, she's gonna be an undead sorc eventually; But, in the mean time, what does she do?

Why, she plays with her dollies.

Imagine it in your head, putting a blonde wig on a zombie and having her pretend to be the little housewife, and the husband zombie who comes home from a long day of (whatever) to his house where his wife has fixed him a nice meal...

Cute ^^

Oh, and weird. But still cute.

more along the lines of morbidly awesome

Deepblue706
2007-10-21, 12:55 AM
You could plant explosives in their rib cages. Walking bombs.

Waspinator
2007-10-21, 01:50 AM
Infested Terrans, anyone?

Helgraf
2007-10-21, 01:57 AM
Phylactery stores

1) Bring a zombie and your phylactery into a rope trick.
2) Feed the phylactery to the zombie
3) Imprison the zombie.
4) Leave the rope trick.
5) Dismiss the rope trick.
6) ???????
7) Profit!!!

Nobody will ever be able to destroy your phylactery without undoing existence.

Eh. Sufficent time combing the near-ethereal (where it overlaps the prime) combined with the right detects and/or contact other plane would do quite nicely for this.

Yeril
2007-10-21, 02:43 PM
I found a very very good.. well non-good use for Undead.

Undead Mounted Troops.

Your average level 1 Warrior on a Light Warhorse can travel at a marching speed of 50ft/round for 8 hours a day.

This comes out at 48 miles a day.

Now a Undead Skeleton on a Skeletal Light Warhorse can RUN 400ft a round (non stop, since undead are immune to exhaustion and fatigue and non-leathal damage) for 24 hours a day. non stop.

This comes out at 576 miles a day. Suddenly Instead of waiting for troops which would take say 2 weeks to arrive, the Undead cavalry arrive in only 28 hours.


Also using the Ultimate Corpsecrafting rules, by taking "skilled" as a trait for undead, for an extra 25gp/HD (meaning a Human skeleton witht he skilled trait costs 50gp) you can make the "ultimate" farmers.

Skills grants a +10 racial bonus to one skill, thus these undead have +10 Profession (Farming)

by Taking 10 they generate a score of 20, meaning 10gp a week.

However, they don't have any upkeep for food & shelter, they are dead. not only that, they don't sleep.

Assuming 1 day of work is 14 hours work 10 hours sleep/rest, Undead can work for about 70% longer. Meaning their Income is 17gp a week.

So by a one time 1 corpse + 50gp cost of a Immortal, Unsleeping, Unstopping worker, they bring in an income that starts bringing in profit in 3 weeks.

And how long does a skeleton last? Until friction causes them to spontanously combust or a order of paladins attacks them, Either way this is unlikley to happen within the first 3 weeks.

I can easily imagine a nice little town who have all their dead raised as workers, and all live a work-free life of luxuiry since all the manual work is done by Undead.

:smallbiggrin:

13_CBS
2007-10-21, 03:02 PM
Phylactery stores

1) Bring a zombie and your phylactery into a rope trick.
2) Feed the phylactery to the zombie
3) Imprison the zombie.
4) Leave the rope trick.
5) Dismiss the rope trick.
6) ???????
7) Profit!!!

Nobody will ever be able to destroy your phylactery without undoing existence.

Good luck regenerating.

:smalltongue:

The Glyphstone
2007-10-21, 03:09 PM
Just plain labor, especially in conditions where living people couldn't. I actually had a character from a culture built around that, an arctic-dwelling tribe where it was near-freezing most of the time, so they used zombies and skeletons as manual labor when it was too cold to be outside.

Laurellien
2007-10-21, 03:12 PM
Good luck regenerating.

:smalltongue:

Gah!!!

That is a hideous misconception. Nowhere in the entirety of D&D does it explicitly state precisely where a lich rematerialises. NOWHERE!!! :vaarsuvius:

13_CBS
2007-10-21, 03:18 PM
Hmm, the SRD agrees with you, so you win.

Looks like another oversight on WotC's part.

smart thog
2007-10-21, 07:20 PM
I think I saw a variant rule for lich reanimation on this website.





Okay, here ya go: You've got a big, powerful necromancer, right? He's got tons of power, just bursting with necromantic abilities.

Well, he has a daughter. She's 6 or 7 years old, she's gonna be an undead sorc eventually; But, in the mean time, what does she do?

Why, she plays with her dollies.

Imagine it in your head, putting a blonde wig on a zombie and having her pretend to be the little housewife, and the husband zombie who comes home from a long day of (whatever) to his house where his wife has fixed him a nice meal...

Cute ^^

Oh, and weird. But still cute.

Or even plays. here is hamlet in yet another monologue

"Zombie hamlet sees corpse of Yorrick, completely destroyed."
"hamlet takes off his head."
"Alas poor yorrick."

Nowhere Girl
2007-10-21, 08:00 PM
Sailing ship crew.

And then you have a ...

Skeleton crew! :smallbiggrin:

smart thog
2007-10-24, 02:17 PM
Screw the Crew. to what :xykon: was thinking of in this comic http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0300.html . if you build it right, and add a bit of magic, you could even have a submarine.

RandomNPC
2007-10-24, 06:16 PM
Screw the Crew. to what :xykon: was thinking of in this comic http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0300.html . if you build it right, and add a bit of magic, you could even have a submarine.

<sing> we all live in a zombie submarine, a zombie sub marine, a zombie sub marine </sing>