Outrageous, but possibly plausible tales needed

[MikeRoxTheBoat]

I recently started a game where I play an old badger storyteller. He has the Fishing Tale background benefit from Saltmarsh, but not specifically fishing related. He's from a tribal-esque background that makes their home in areas near water where the land often freezes over.

He has both the ideal that stories, legends, and songs need to be passed on, as well as the flaw that he's inclined to tell long-winded stories at inopportune times.

I'm looking to collect some fairly short, ridiculous, but potentially plausible stories that I can throw into the mix at different points. He's an Ancestral Guardian barbarian and frequently interacts with the spirits of his ancestors, so the stories can be things that they accomplished, things my barbarian or his tribe accomplishes, or simply stories and tales he's heard along the way.

The most recent one I made up off the top of my head was my Badger and his wife getting stuck on an ice floe after it separated from the land they were standing on. They tried to paddle back, but weren't able to, and soon sharks started to appear in the water. Getting an idea, the wife began to pluck hair from my Badger and wove the hair into a rope. My badger then dove into the water, wrapped the rope around the mouth of a shark like a harness, and slashed at it until it tried to escape. It tried to flee away from the badgers, which was conveniently back to the land and dragged the badger and his wife all the way back to the shore like a horse and a cart.

I'd love to amass a small collection of stories that I can toss out at appropriate (or inappropriate) moments!

[Wizard_Lizard]

Herein lies the story of the elven warrior: Glysindur.
Many years ago, in a land that is now forgotten, our hero, Glysindur, arises from his most recent victory. His hated enemies, a tribe of orcish raiders, lie vanquished. Glysindur smiles to himself and sticks his sword into the ground, offering a prayer to Correllon in thsanks.
Howeer, unbeknowenst to him, a group of bugbears lie in wait in some nearby shrubbery...
However, Glysindur, unaware kf the danger, had been trained in the wys of the bards, and after a few minutes, he ha tuned his lute and began to play. The bugbears heard the music, an instantly were entranced, watching Glysindur play, listening in awe... Glysindur played his lute till the sun set, and the bugbears left him alone.

However, Glysindur's music was so beautiful that it attracted the attention of the gods themselves... Once Glysindur had finished playing, four gods descended to the earth, the first was Aphrodite, goddess of love, she departed unto him a kiss that gave him the power to entrance others with his looks as well as his music. The second was Titania, goddess of the fey, who departed unto him the gift of control over nature, so even th plants could listn o him. The third god was Gruumsh. Who, never having been appreciative of music,smashed Glysondur's skull in as vengeance for the slain orcs. As Glysindur lay dying, the fourth and finl god visited him. He was Correlon himself, upon seeing Glysindur o mortally wounded, Correlon wept. For he too had been entranced bg Glysindur's playing. Correlon cradled Glysindurs's dying body in it's final moments, knowing that not even hi magic could cure a blow from Gruumsh's hammer. Instead Correllon kissed Glysindur, trapping his finl breath within his own mouth, before releasing it into the forest. Correllon then sent Glysindur's bodh to the stars. Before leaving sorrowfully.

Occasionally you can hear Glysindur's music, even now. In the beautiful lakes and glades... his final breath llays a ghostlh tune...... All who hear it find it beautiful..... and are blessed with the luck that Glysindur didn't have...


(hlw's that for making it up on he spot at quater pat ten pm?)

[solidork]

I had a tribal War Cleric who summoned his heroic ancestors with Spirit Guardians and often interacted with them, paying homage/etc. These are their backstories:

Freya - Long ago, my Cleric's people were enslaved by magic and forced to fight to defend a valley populated by elves and dwarves from an oncoming army of orcs that vastly outnumbered them. Freya, who was a cleric of the god of war, prayed to her god to free her people so at least they could face their deaths as free men and women. The god freed them, and she convinced her people to stay and defend the valley because those people were innocent of enslaving them. They defeated the orcs with many losses and the elves and dwarves forged a sword and magical scabbard to give to Freya.

Rolf - One day while out hunting, he spied a giant white stag. He knew the stories said that they were impossible to catch and kill, and that would be true if he had encountered it in the Feywild, but he shot his bow from the material plane where the stag had no such protection. He wounded it mortally and chased it through a portal into the Feywild where he encountered the Archfey known as The Huntsman, who was enraged that Rolf had slain one of his prized stags. The Huntsman was going to kill him, but Rolf convinced him that he should at least get some sport out of the affair and that a proper hunt was in order. The Huntsman agreed, but much to Rolf's dismay, transformed him into an ordinary deer. The huntsman's minions hunted him every night for a year, but he soon found a high peak where they would not go at night. He overheard the minions say that the peak was the domain of Lady Moon, another archfey.

The mountain top had a pool that clearly reflected the moon, and each night he called out in praise of the moon's beauty, acting as though each of her changing faces was yet another beautiful woman unlike any he had ever seen. Once he had praised all of her faces, Lady Moon came down and blessed him with her light, turning him into one of the white stags who couldn't be caught. Having finally defeated The Hunstman in his hunt, the archfey admitted he was impressed by Rolf's cunning and ingenuity and they struck a deal - The Hunstman would change him back to a human and Rolf would serve him as a Warlock.

[Imbalance]

Like...a literal badger or is this a homebrew race?

[PoeticallyPsyco]

https://www.handbookofheroes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/HH133.png

From an actual adventure module, I bring you the gnome who built a ship based on books he had read... in the desert, then went searching for an ocean. Page from the Handbook of Heroes (https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/random-encounter) webcomic, and there's more discussion and other weird stories on the far side of the link.

[MikeRoxTheBoat]

Excellent. I like the tales that sound like they could be cultural legends from another time. The tribal ones are fitting for me, the ones that sound like legends are good for the race, and I can certainly shoehorn a gnome in there at some point.


Like...a literal badger or is this a homebrew race?

Haha, it's from the Humblewood setting. Essentially a large, anthropomorphic badger that's been planeshifted and is working with a band of more typical adventurers (we have members from a lot of different settings)