New Player advice - bored at table

[Hesquidor]

So I'm kinda posting here because I'm looking for some reassurance and advice. I have been a fairly long-term (abstract) fan of DnD and other role-playing games and systems; however due to living in the arse-end of nowhere, I've never had a chance to actually play with other real life people beyond some attempts at pbp which always eventually petered out. I always kind of consoled myself with playing games like Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights, reading OotS, as well as watching live streamed games.

I recently moved and a friend of a friend invited me to join their Curse of Strahd campaign. Imagine my excitement - I was finally getting to play! However, I end up just getting very bored at the table as the plot goes nowhere.

Like, is it possible for a group to roleplay too much? For example last night our group attended a festival and I sat for three hours while the rest of the group rp'd getting jealous over an NPC's girlfriend, one character picking up a barmaid while another character repeatedly intervened, calls for rolls as to how much fun the barmaid and a separate roll for how sore she was afterwards, walking her home afterwards and the group having breakfast. For three hours. Is this normal?!

I'm happy to rp, but I kind of want a bit of game in my game. Our last hour was then spent doing a sidequest we were grossly overleveled for (I guess it was for lvl 1-3, but as a lvl 8 it was hilariously easy) and didn't really scratch my combat itch.

Is this how things normally go? The other players for the most part seem to be having a great time. I've read about things like 'the Matt Mercer effect' and I'm worried I'm the one with unreasonable expectations.

[BloodSnake'sCha]

First you need to give yourself reasons to do stuff.
The addition of mechanical backgrounds and ideals to the game in this edition is here to help you do it.

If you see everything have reasons to do stuff RPing for 3 hours their characters probably have reasons to do so.
Ask them about it.


There is always the option of not being compatible with the group.
I play in 4 different groups types and I can say that people from group 1 will not enjoy playing the game group 4 plays.

I never saw a steam of people playing or know who is Matt Mercer so I can't help with his effect.
(To my defense, I see no reason and have no fun watching peoples plays. Same with sports.)

[Darkstar952]

This varies greatly from table to table, some groups are into deep character driven rp, others are into heavy tactical combat, others like to just joke and mess around, while other tables may have a mix of these elements.

It sounds like for this group the 'plot' or 'adventure' is secondary. For them the game is more an opportunity to socialise and joke around than any serious rp or adventuring.

[MarkVIIIMarc]

That group seems....different and honestly I didnnot enjoy the beginning of Strahd so much myself.

On the positive side, Strahd got strange and picked up for the group I was in. Also maybe you'll get the hang of that group or they'll have a better next session.

[Flechette63]

It could also just be that's what happened that session rather than a representation of the playstyle in general. The campaign I'm playing at the moment had a lull of sorts for a few sessions while we took in a festival. After that we had what I like to call The Long Night where we spent three sessions in constant combat fending of a gnoll raid (with fiendish backers)in a different village. We wracked up something like 100-130 kills in one long rest cycle and our warlock collapsed from exhaustion at the end. On the plus side we felt we earned our 7th level after that.

[16bearswutIdo]

I think you've answered your own question with the final couple sentences. Since Critical Role started, there's been a BIG influx of people who just want to RP every single interaction. I can't speak as to your table specifically, but I've found 9/10 times the person who wants to RP out everything is a big fan of CR.


Personally, I find it boring as all hell. I play with one guy in one of my groups where you can tell he was weaned with CR, as all of his stuff takes about double what everyone else's does. Casting a spell? That's an RP. Setting up camp for the night? That's an RP. Telling other players how to play? That's somehow an RP. Conveniently "misunderstanding" your spells? Gotta do that or your character doesn't get to be the best.

[Hesquidor]

I've attended 4 sessions so far (I've missed two due to work) and this has kinda been the general style throughout - with a heavy emphasis on rp and joking around. I've genuinely been in exactly 3 rounds of combat: 1 from a random encounter, 2 in the sidequest we just did. We managed to completely bypass a main dungeon last session, which while kind of awesome, was also disappointing.

I guess maybe I am just not looking for the same things the rest of the group is.

[Randomthom]

It is absolutely possible for a group to roleplay too much for your liking.

I put that in bold to emphasise that different people get different levels of enjoyment out of different aspects of D&D.

I'm part of a group that, like you with yours, "roleplays" too much imo. I get more enjoyment from the tactical combat and moving the story forward.

The following is from a recent chat on a discord DMs group I'm part of;


My personal rule as a player, unless they're a character with some sort of quest or story element I PROBABLY won't engage in more than a few lines of dialogue with them.

Part of this is me thinking with my DM hat on, I know I wouldn't have more than some scant background info on this character (if that, they might have just been made up on the spot) were I the DM so me trying to milk some RP encounter out of this NPC is putting a lot of work on the DM for not much reason. I'm sure they've got some great NPCs around the corner they're just dying for me to meet

I don't enforce this rule on anyone else when I'm playing and if I'm DM'ing and you spark up a conversation with randomNPC#23 in nowheresville I'll do my very best to make them a 3-dimensional character but when I'm playing and another player spends ½ the session talking with nothing-NPCs I do tend to get a little bit frustrated, both as myself and on-behalf of the DM who is being made to think 10x harder to maintain verisimilitude in their world

I've had encounters before where I managed to think of something on-the-fly and run with it and surprised the players later when I mentioned that wasn't a planned NPC and I've been the player on the other side of that coin, it can happen and work well but when I see the DM struggling to come up with a name, occupation, description, accent or purpose for continuing the conversation I often try to bail them out

The attitude of talking the backside off every NPC can come from a variety of sources. The completionist doesn't want to risk missing out on some quest/scrap of information. The powergamer thinks that if he asks every NPC in town about X then eventually the DM will cave & give them the information, even if originally nobody in town was planned to know X. The CR fanboy/girl* just want to be like Liam/Travis/Marisha/Sam/Ashley/Laura and have forgotten that a) they're not a professional actor and b) their DM isn't MM.

Side-note, I love CR but I don't run my games like MM runs his and I don't expect other DMs to either, it's not a gold standard, it's just one style (albeit one executed very well). I'd much rather be a player in one of Matt Colville's games or TheAngryGM's games personally.

Thankfully, there are a number of tools available to you to manage this;
1. Speak to the GM. Tell them that you didn't enjoy last session because the bits of the game you enjoy didn't really happen. Explain that you understand that fun was had by some but ask them if it might be possible to move the slower sections on a bit quicker...

2. In-character, try to guide the party onwards to the next story point. Tell your ally "just pay the man, we've got work to do" when they try to extract the life story out of shopkeeper#17. This approach is easier if you play a bold/brash character! You can't force them to but you might even find that everyone is secretly glad that someone put an end to a cringeworthy scene!

3. Speak to the players individually. Try not to be manipulative but it's worth feeling out if they are actually enjoying those exchanges or if they're doing them to try to forcibly recreate the "Matt Mercer effect".

4. Find another game. I understand that finding any game was an effort but ultimately you may find that this group isn't a good fit for you. There's nothing wrong with preferring a different playstyle.

5. Start your own game! If you think that's too much, it isn't and you're allowed to be crap to begin with, we all were... hell, I've been playing & DMing for 20 years and I'm still often crappy! Check out Matt Colville's Running the Game Youtube Series for some amazing starting tips!

[Yunru]

It sounds like you're more challenge driven than the rest of the table (which... doesn't sound hard to be :p ).
Maybe mention to the DM that you're finding it too easy and/or laid back.

Although from what you describe they're also running Curse of Stahd wrong, as it's supposed to be a suspenseful horror where everyone lives in fear or just straight up has no soul to feel fear with, or enjoyment such as the rest of the party sought.

Strahd without the tone just... isn't Strahd.

[RifleAvenger]

As others have said, tastes vary. Even on the RP heavy side or combat heavy side, there are differences. This table seems to want to RP a lot of wacky hijinks (which as Yunru said, is bizarre and off tone for Curse of Strahd). However, I've played at RP heavy tables with a lot of (melo)drama and high stakes attached to the resulting social maneuvering (backed by social skill rolls or mechanics, system depending). Combat driven games can feel totally different too, based on if the players are meant to approach it as war (win the battle before it begins) or as sport ("fair" cage matches).

If you want significant RP and tense encounters, I recommend finding a GM who runs games akin to thrillers. Even if your local scene is threadbare, there is always online.

[Sparky McDibben]

You may want to talk to the DM. Ask if there can be more combat. You have a seat at the table, and they should be more than happy to work with you. Maybe they're building to something and would love the help of a player in getting the party into more shenanigans.

[Laserlight]

I was in SKT with a group which generally moved along and accomplished stuff when I was there to make decisions and guide the group. When i went on vacation, they spent 2.5 sessions on going to a tavern, creating random tables on getting drunk, creating random tables on the effects of getting drunk, roleplaying axe throwing contests or gambling or whatever, with absolutely zero plot progression. Some people are terrible at making decisions, and if you don't take the reins, they just sit there.

If I were there, I'd point out that no author puts in every meal, every snore, every step, so you have to edit out some stuff. If it doesn't involve plot progression or character development, it can be glossed over. Make one roll, narrate the results briefly, move on. "Thongor Bloodaxe rolls d20+CHA = 16. He spends the night with the barmaid, and the next morning she is sore but happy." "Rellin rolls d20 plus Gaming proficiency minus 2 for being tipsy...he wins a little, has trouble keeping the dice on the table, and a couple of the players suspect the reason he was dropping them so much was because he was switching them out for a loaded set." "Bagdrag takes a gallon of beer to his room and spends the night away from humans and chanting orcish tales of doomed champions. The next morning, we set out for the giant's mountain."

[Lupine]

Honesty, there's another option no one has mentioned yet. Roll with it (puns, puns)

The other players are getting deep in their characters, but with nothing happening, they only get one aspect to look at them with. If you (the players) are not enjoying that, it will disassociate you with your characters, unless you (the character) is obviously bored, and not enjoying themselves.
Then, RP yourself (the character) as being really bored, and possibly uncomfortable. People who are bored start doing things to entertain themselves. Start picking fights. Get into trouble. Heck, you could even go searching for drugs, and uncover a mini-story about two crime rings. This type of behavior is not even limited to "bad boy" type characters. If a "goody two-shoes" is around, he'll start criticizing other people for their vice. People don't like that, and if he mouths off the right guys, he can create a whole fight.

Characteristically, when you (the player) are bored, you (the character) should reflect that. You (the character) should be irritable, rash, and push things just for the sake of pushing them. When (not if) the other characters start asking you why you are acting this way, then you (the character) respond along the lines of, "I'm bored, damn it! There's nothing to do in this bloody town."

One absolute final straw, if you have nowhere else to go, is to get your own copy of strahd, and start looking for the key NPCs. I will warn you though, the other players will NOT like you doing this if they find out, so you have to be really subtle. You can't ask around for a person. Instead, you must go where he can be found, and start asking about someone who fits his characteristics. I won't personally recommend this, but is worse comes to worst, it is an option you need to know is available.

[Hesquidor]

Thank you everyone for the advice. I've messaged my DM saying that tactics and combat is something I'm really interested in and asking if maybe next week this could be something we focused on a bit more. I'm hoping as a side effect that might push things to be a little bit more plot centric too. So we'll see how it goes :smallsmile:

[Sparky McDibben]

Let us know how it goes! Hoping for the best!

[Jophiel]

If you recently moved, you might want to see if there's a group/store running Adventurer's League games in your area. Those are usually one-shot adventures that have (again, on average) 2-3 combat encounters over a three hour period. If you can find something like that, it might scratch your combat and tactics itch a little and make you more amendable to your regular group's RP-heavy campaign.

From my experience, the campaign you describe does sound overly RP-heavy but it wouldn't be the first group I've heard of that wastes three hours in the tavern doing jack-all. I wouldn't enjoy it (unless it's actually moving the story forward and not idly seducing scullery maids) but apparently that's what some people want to do.

[Undyne]

So I'm kinda posting here because I'm looking for some reassurance and advice. I have been a fairly long-term (abstract) fan of DnD and other role-playing games and systems; however due to living in the arse-end of nowhere, I've never had a chance to actually play with other real life people beyond some attempts at pbp which always eventually petered out. I always kind of consoled myself with playing games like Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights, reading OotS, as well as watching live streamed games.

I recently moved and a friend of a friend invited me to join their Curse of Strahd campaign. Imagine my excitement - I was finally getting to play! However, I end up just getting very bored at the table as the plot goes nowhere.

Like, is it possible for a group to roleplay too much? For example last night our group attended a festival and I sat for three hours while the rest of the group rp'd getting jealous over an NPC's girlfriend, one character picking up a barmaid while another character repeatedly intervened, calls for rolls as to how much fun the barmaid and a separate roll for how sore she was afterwards, walking her home afterwards and the group having breakfast. For three hours. Is this normal?!

I'm happy to rp, but I kind of want a bit of game in my game. Our last hour was then spent doing a sidequest we were grossly overleveled for (I guess it was for lvl 1-3, but as a lvl 8 it was hilariously easy) and didn't really scratch my combat itch.

Is this how things normally go? The other players for the most part seem to be having a great time. I've read about things like 'the Matt Mercer effect' and I'm worried I'm the one with unreasonable expectations.

This is actually one of my favorite things about D&D- Different groups enjoy different things. I have 2 groups, where one loves combat and the other loves role-play. I suggest bringing up this issue with the DM and fellow players.

If you find yourself getting bored, its not because you aren't playing the game right.

Its because you may need a different group.

But if you don't want to find a new group, like I mentioned above, I suggest talking to the DM to include more combat or whatever it is you enjoy.

[GlenSmash!]

So I'm kinda posting here because I'm looking for some reassurance and advice. I have been a fairly long-term (abstract) fan of DnD and other role-playing games and systems; however due to living in the arse-end of nowhere, I've never had a chance to actually play with other real life people beyond some attempts at pbp which always eventually petered out. I always kind of consoled myself with playing games like Baldur's Gate, Icewind Dale, Neverwinter Nights, reading OotS, as well as watching live streamed games.

I recently moved and a friend of a friend invited me to join their Curse of Strahd campaign. Imagine my excitement - I was finally getting to play! However, I end up just getting very bored at the table as the plot goes nowhere.

Like, is it possible for a group to roleplay too much?

Yes. I like to run a speedy game. So if Bill want's his character to carouse I'll typically say something like, "Bill's character is carousing. Jen, what do you do?" rather than try to act out every bit of the carousing. And it's not just about time spent on shenanigans, it's also about managing spotlight. Each player should feel like they are contributing to the game in equal measure. I'll go out on a limb and guess you didn't feel that way.


For example last night our group attended a festival and I sat for three hours while the rest of the group rp'd getting jealous over an NPC's girlfriend, one character picking up a barmaid while another character repeatedly intervened, calls for rolls as to how much fun the barmaid and a separate roll for how sore she was afterwards, walking her home afterwards and the group having breakfast. For three hours. Is this normal?!
Not for me. If the outcome is not uncertain, or the consequences won't drive the game forward, I won't call for a roll. If Tom want's his player to sleep with the barmaid, I'll tell him if he succeeds or fails, and move on to asking the next player "What do you do?"

Also that "sore" bit is pretty juvenile.

I'm happy to rp, but I kind of want a bit of game in my game. Our last hour was then spent doing a sidequest we were grossly overleveled for (I guess it was for lvl 1-3, but as a lvl 8 it was hilariously easy) and didn't really scratch my combat itch.

Is this how things normally go? The other players for the most part seem to be having a great time. I've read about things like 'the Matt Mercer effect' and I'm worried I'm the one with unreasonable expectations.

Ultimately this is a table compatibility issue. Talk to your DM about how you found the session didn't live up to your expectations. You wanted to play in a heroic fantasy adventure, not watch people roleplay male adolescent wish fulfillment. (well maybe you can phrase it better than I can).

Some DMs respond really well to feedback. If this one doesn't I don't think you are ever going to have a much fun at that table. I mean it seems like the DM is already catering to players, so they should cater to your tastes too.

Wait, they are carousing in Curse of Strahd??? Where only 1 out of 10 people actually have souls? Yeesh.

[JackPhoenix]

Snip

Cue another thread in 2 weeks from a different poster: "A problem player is disrupting our game with lolrandom behavior any time we're doing something else than constant combat. Wat do?"

[Hail Tempus]

This group seems kind of, well, juvenile. I’m in favor of role-playing, but spending hours talking about how your character tries to pick up the bar maid plays to the worst stereotypes of D&D players (and people wonder why RPGs have a reputation for not being friendly to women).

It’s also odd that a DM would let this go on in a game set in Curse of Strahd. After a half hour of this, any self-respecting DM would have a group of werewolves attack the inn and butcher the staff.

[HappyDaze]

If your previous experiences were largely based on one player computer games, then having to share time with other players at the table might tend to feel like a drag even if they are doing things you want to be doing. When they're not doing something you are interested in, there's not a good way to just click past their dialogue without pissing people off. Unfortunately, it sounds like the game is feeling like a set of loading screens with little of interest in between.

[Jerrykhor]

I don't think you're unreasonable, i can see myself getting bored if i were in your position.

Remind them that this is ultimately a game, and you don't want to spend 99% of the time doing method acting. A game should be played.

Yes, i think there is such thing as too much RP. D&D has always been built on the assumption that the PCs are adventurers; that they would go out there to do dangerous stuff, explore the world and solve problems. Not sit around all day to act out dramas, do paperwork or goof around in general.

I dont mind 3 hours of roleplay if the situation calls for it. But if this happens every single session, i'll walk.

[Ganryu]

Could be a bad group fit, but I say give it another go to make sure.

I have... a kinda similar group. My solution was to drag the group through the plot, and it turns out no one was thinking of the plot. They love that I keep them on track, and it gives them a chance to RP through the actual story. GM loves even more that I do that, because he couldn't get them to the plot for the life of him. Then again, that's my personality. There are some other good solutions here I believe.

RP your character bored, and see what happens. Do they care? Do they come running to you?

See about other group options.

Above all though, Dnd is a GAME. If its not fun at your table, decline it like you, say, playing darts or something. But DnD is pretty fun, just you seem to have a pretty bad fit group, which does happen.

[da newt]

BTW, it's not that hard to start a fight if you feel the itch for a little combat.

While other PCs are working on their pickup lines, it's a great time to practice your pick-pocket skills to pilfer their best stuff.

It's also a great time to split the party and go find something that interests you, and maybe some of the other PCs.

You could decide to RP this out: What would your character think of the other party member's behavior, and how would they go about 'fixing' it? Is your Paladin offended by their behavior and will chastise them all like a Dad? Is your greedy Rogue just bored because there is no profit to be had? Is your BM Fighter pissed because this doesn't do anything to move toward mission accomplishment?

- More seriously, have a pleasant conversation with the other PCs and DM. Be open and honest, don't accuse anyone of doing it wrong, and maybe your desires can be met by this group, or maybe they can help you find a new group that fit's better.

There should be no harm in saying "I'd like to do a bit more of X." They can respond with "Sure, lets do some more of that" or "that's not really something the rest of us are into." If it's the latter, then a simple "OK, thanks for letting me join you. Do you know anyone who is running a game that has more combat/tactical focus?" - and off you go.

[GlenSmash!]

Could be a bad group fit, but I say give it another go to make sure.

I have... a kinda similar group. My solution was to drag the group through the plot, and it turns out no one was thinking of the plot. They love that I keep them on track, and it gives them a chance to RP through the actual story. GM loves even more that I do that, because he couldn't get them to the plot for the life of him. Then again, that's my personality. There are some other good solutions here I believe.

RP your character bored, and see what happens. Do they care? Do they come running to you?

See about other group options.

Above all though, Dnd is a GAME. If its not fun at your table, decline it like you, say, playing darts or something. But DnD is pretty fun, just you seem to have a pretty bad fit group, which does happen.

This is good solid advice.

[Anderlith]

Sounds like it’s a bad group mix. They might even be a stealth ERP group, so maybe ask them what kind of gamers they are. I was in a group of WoD guys who almost always RPd instead of doing stuff. It was fine but it wasn't the kind of game I would expect to roll up a combat beast in & only seek out fights. If you crave conflict (more than just who can land a date with who) you could start by talking to your DM. Then your group. Then if it doesn’t change, go out & find it make your own better game with Blackguards & Hooked Horrors!

The “Matt Mercer Effect” is when casual interest hobbyists try to play D&D, but since it’s not a huge production valued spectacle with talented actors voicing their characters it looses its appeal for them. These people want to treat the hobby like a sport & be audience to it & do “geek water cooler talk”. Don’t pay it any mind.

[Sigreid]

When I've been in that kind of a group, I start taking action to move things along. Might work, might not.

[StoicLeaf]

getting jealous over an NPC's girlfriend, one character picking up a barmaid while another character repeatedly intervened, calls for rolls as to how much fun the barmaid and a separate roll for how sore she was afterwards, walking her home afterwards and the group having breakfast. For three hours.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FjWe31S_0g

[Bel-Torac]

Sounds like you are in a group who likes to **** around and not play the game. I suggest you find another group that fits your playstyle, what you described has nothing to do with Curse of Strahd.

[Safety Sword]

Sounds like you are in a group who likes to **** around and not play the game. I suggest you find another group that fits your playstyle, what you described has nothing to do with Curse of Strahd.

Well, I mean...

The barmaid should probably drug you, deliver you to the devil and be turned into a vampire for her trouble. Other than that.. sure :smallbiggrin:

[Chronic]

My point of view about your situation : dissipate players and a GM who doesn't know what he's doing. As both GM and player, i love RP, but if it isn't meaningful to the plot it has to be marginal or both well played AND limited in time. I have the pleasure to Gm great players and play with some great GM, so i have never experienced a bad fit, because a great GM can bring interestimg thing out of bad situation and poorly "written" pc if he know what he's doing, it's his job to cut short useless interaction, to instill tension or humor when needed and to create situation that push players to care about the story.

[Zhorn]

I wouldn't say the group is necessarily a bad fit for you (now one other than you has enough information to make that call at this point), just the tone of the game so far is not matching your expectations.

I can respect a fair bit of the advice given here, but some of it does feel like it is either better directed towards DMs ("here's how I run these situations...").

I've played along side pub-dwelling carousing type players, and have DM's for such groups as well. Most of the time it's a matter of taking the lead and pushing ahead with the story as a player to kick the test of the table into gear. This isn't about accusing the other players of bad-wrong-fun, nor blaming the DM for not delivering on what you expected of the game, just helping supply the content you would enjoy. Those bar scenes and pick-up RPs are not all on the DM. The other players are supplying a lot of the building blocks and drive for the scenes. Do that, but in the direction you are interested in. While DMing my last few campaigns, it was always easier to build sessions around what the players were engaging in more so than just what my own plans were in prep. If it wasn't for the work I did beforehand tying some of my players backstories directly into the main plot, I doubt they would have engaged in the adventure till 5-6 sessions in.

Last game I was a player in, while the rest of the party drank themselves under the table, pick-pocketed random townies, or developed obsessions with domesticating a stray cat; my fighter played the straight man, hunting down jobs, bounties and contracts to support the party's expenses. Giving the DM an easy entry point for quests and plot hooks. When the quests the popped up seemed very cut and dry with little relation to a greater plot, I'd use them as a promoting factor to seek out bigger things;
"As you can see miss announcer, our barbarian who won your wrestling competition is a skilled combatant, suited for a bigger stage with higher stakes"
"Yes mayor, we are that group that took out the phase spider. This should be proof of out capability to handle dangerous work that might be too much for the town guard"
"Archmage, the magic shop owner murdered in your city is a clear indication of someone targeting magic users. Hiring us as undercover investigators will make it easier to flush out the threat with them not knowing who's tracking them."

Draw attention to the dangers in the town(s) and region, making a point about your character trying to understand the greater threat and how to address it. You don't need to change how the other players play, just draw the scene towards the adventure's plot.