moonfly7
2019-12-15, 01:35 PM
Hey all, recently the group I DM has encountered a travelling spell salesman who doesn't believe in mainstream "mage college propaganda" spells. He only sells custom spells. He's a changeling named Schmitty who wheres a lead helmet to block mind control magic. He gave my team such helmets for free.
They absolutely loved the eccentric old man, and blew roughly 7000 gold in spells that they could learn.
They purchased:
Attract rocks, a second level spell that is basically a concentration magic missile with bludgeoning damage.
Attract boulders, a 4th level higher damage, and you have to make 2 dex saves to avoid the two separate 1d6 boulders.
6th level flesh to mash potatoes. Like flesh to stone, but replace stone with mash potatoes.
And lastly: the cantrip control liquor. It does what it sounds like.
He gave them an enchanted branch that deals 1 bludgeoning damage only, but has a +4 to hit bonus. It's so powerful it blinds the magic seeing eye of their dwarf.
He also had different energy fireballs, necrotic, cold, acid, force, lightning, ETC.
Anyways, he gave them his card that can cast sending so they can call him later on. So what I'd like is some help making some ridiculous but useful spells, just concepts is fine, just give me a name and I can make the spell. Here's what I have so far:
Control toenails, cantrip
I didn't realise that was ice, cantrip
Don't drop that, level 1
Control insects, level 1
Ride insects, level 2
Attract mountains, level 6-8(haven't decided)
Attract rocks, level 2
Attract boulders, level 4
The floor is lava, level 3
Hit'em in the knees, level 2
Summon Schmitty, level 9
And that's what I got so far, hope you can help, the more absurd the better.
Edit: more spells and descriptions:
Mass sending, 3rd level spell, target must make a wisdom saving throw or be pounded by 100 separate sending messages, and take 4d8 psychic damage, and cannot take any action or movement next turn. On a successful save they only take half damage and suffer no other effects.
Lesser annoyance: concentration, up to 1 minute, choose a harmless sensory affect, a fly buzzing, an annoying smell, ETC, the target must make an insight check against your spell save DC or believe the effect to be real, and spend their next turn trying to find and illuminate the source of the affect. They may repeat the save at the beginning of every turn until the spell ends.
Grow arm, 1st level spell, 1 hour duration. You grow an extra arm out of either your left or right side of your body(your choice) this arm functions exactly like your natural arms. You do not gain an extra action or bonus action from this spell, but all skill checks normally made with both arms(climbing, carrying, lifting, pushing, grappling) gain a +1 bonus. For every level above 1st you gain 1 additional arm, and an additional +1 bonus for every arm present.
They absolutely loved the eccentric old man, and blew roughly 7000 gold in spells that they could learn.
They purchased:
Attract rocks, a second level spell that is basically a concentration magic missile with bludgeoning damage.
Attract boulders, a 4th level higher damage, and you have to make 2 dex saves to avoid the two separate 1d6 boulders.
6th level flesh to mash potatoes. Like flesh to stone, but replace stone with mash potatoes.
And lastly: the cantrip control liquor. It does what it sounds like.
He gave them an enchanted branch that deals 1 bludgeoning damage only, but has a +4 to hit bonus. It's so powerful it blinds the magic seeing eye of their dwarf.
He also had different energy fireballs, necrotic, cold, acid, force, lightning, ETC.
Anyways, he gave them his card that can cast sending so they can call him later on. So what I'd like is some help making some ridiculous but useful spells, just concepts is fine, just give me a name and I can make the spell. Here's what I have so far:
Control toenails, cantrip
I didn't realise that was ice, cantrip
Don't drop that, level 1
Control insects, level 1
Ride insects, level 2
Attract mountains, level 6-8(haven't decided)
Attract rocks, level 2
Attract boulders, level 4
The floor is lava, level 3
Hit'em in the knees, level 2
Summon Schmitty, level 9
And that's what I got so far, hope you can help, the more absurd the better.
Edit: more spells and descriptions:
Mass sending, 3rd level spell, target must make a wisdom saving throw or be pounded by 100 separate sending messages, and take 4d8 psychic damage, and cannot take any action or movement next turn. On a successful save they only take half damage and suffer no other effects.
Lesser annoyance: concentration, up to 1 minute, choose a harmless sensory affect, a fly buzzing, an annoying smell, ETC, the target must make an insight check against your spell save DC or believe the effect to be real, and spend their next turn trying to find and illuminate the source of the affect. They may repeat the save at the beginning of every turn until the spell ends.
Grow arm, 1st level spell, 1 hour duration. You grow an extra arm out of either your left or right side of your body(your choice) this arm functions exactly like your natural arms. You do not gain an extra action or bonus action from this spell, but all skill checks normally made with both arms(climbing, carrying, lifting, pushing, grappling) gain a +1 bonus. For every level above 1st you gain 1 additional arm, and an additional +1 bonus for every arm present.