View Full Version : AMEN XVII: <insert witty title here>

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2007-10-20, 02:45 PM
Welcome to AMEN


The AMEN Wiki (http://amen.wikidot.com/start)
The AMEN Forum (http://amen.myfastforum.org/index.php)

Previous Threads:

Evil Inc. Do-gooders beware! - Psyke_D [Thread Auto-pruned]
AMEN, Godmodding and Good Hating since, well, the last thread. (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=34553) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN III: Revenge of the Munchkins (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=36535) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN IV: Return of the Pogo (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=37474) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN V: Rise of the Magtoks/Maggots (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=38748) - Rex Idiotarum
AMEN VI: The Secret of Saurous Rock (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40045) - Lord Magtok
AMEN 007: Casino Ratavo - Saurous [Thread mysteriously missing]
AMEN VIII: The REAL one! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43207) - Fus.Weapon 1337
Amen IX: They just wouldn't stay away! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44832) - Korith
AMEN X: Call of Moonthulu (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=46716) - Castaras
AMEN XI: Raiders of the Lost Pie (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=48523) - PirateMonk
AMEN XII: Now pretty much equivalent to Final Fantasy! (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=50599) - Castaras
Amen XIII: Thread 1408 (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51830) - Vespe Ratavo
AMEN XIV: A Growing Industry (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=53464) - PirateMonk
AMEN XV: Up to Eleven Days a Week (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?p=3090418)- Vespe Ratavo.
AMEN XVI: Sanity's Requiem (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56619) - PirateMonk

AMEN Trophy Case:


Wanting to join? Simple:-

Wander aimlessly in.
Poke one of the current members until they hand you the paperwork.
If the aforementioned current member you poke kills you rather than hands you the paperwork, then repeat step 2.
Sign the mountain of paperwork, preferably in your own blood, although anyone's blood will do.
Prepare to have had your non-existant soul to have been sold to whoever gave you the legalese.
Congratulations! You're now an offical AMENite! Do random stuff! Kill people! Make things explode!

And if you're just visiting, then please do not leave muddy footprints in the base. All those who visit should be aware that AMEN take no responsibility whatsoever for any torture/evil practises/death that may occur to the individual visiting. Honest.

2007-10-20, 02:49 PM
"Muahahahahaha, now I shall get the first laugh as well!"

2007-10-20, 02:50 PM
"My player is too embarrassed to show her face but she wishes to know how to make an AMEN thread. She also says she can do others, but not one where you need same stuff in the first post."

And sets then she off fireworks. "Mmm, sulphur and pretty sights."

2007-10-20, 02:52 PM
Quote the first post, copy the code in between the tags, and paste them into a new thread.

And that reminds me...I should add a link to the last thread...

Dr. Bath
2007-10-20, 03:12 PM
a slightly damp explosion reveals Dr. Bath, returned from whatever nether dimesion he has been hiding in for however long.

"Greetings, old chaps! How are things in this stalwart bastion of evil and idiocy? How's Corpse boy? And that elf, whajamathingy..." Dr. Bath waves his hand vaguely in the air. "Anyhow, still the same as always, eh?"

2007-10-20, 03:16 PM
"The creator of my absolutely amazing MedusaCat is here? Good." Curly hugs Dr. Bath and then procees to pour acid over his head. "And I don't take kindly to being a living statue."

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-20, 03:22 PM
Vespe hugs the acid-washed Dr. Bath.
Welcome back.

Vespe walks over to a large board that says "DA TOWN."
I have an idea. Let's stage a benefit concert in the Town. Benefiting us, of course. :smalltongue:

Dr. Bath
2007-10-20, 03:23 PM
"It's a good thing I'm an alkaline based life form," says Bath as the acid hisses and lets off shards of salt all over the room. "Now, if you really wanted to hurt me, you'll have to try a bit harder." However, Dr. Bath's left arm has reacted away.


2007-10-20, 03:30 PM
So, how does one become a member of AMEN?
Is it simply being evil and barging into the thread? Cause I can do that.
*puts on his evil hat*
"See, I'm evil already!"

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-20, 03:31 PM
Yeah, that's pretty much it. Aside from all the paperwork.
Vespe tosses MrEdwardNigma a large stack of paperwork written in legalese.

2007-10-20, 03:32 PM
Yeah, thereabouts.
Then you go deal with all the paperwork we attack you with.

Castaras summons a massive pile of untranslateable legalese on MrEwardNigma.

Sign in blood. Preferably your own.

Castaras grins at Vespe's Simu.

Twice the paperwork for this new person to sign. Fun. :smallamused:

2007-10-20, 03:37 PM
Nigma may find himself completely drowning in yet more paper work. "Eh, you guys never give them enough any way."

2007-10-20, 03:42 PM
The wizard looks slightly baffled at all the paperwork, and then incinerates it.
"Well, that was cleared up fast, wasn't it? Does this gig come with a dental plan anyways?""

2007-10-20, 03:43 PM
"Yes, but only for people who sign the forms."

2007-10-20, 03:44 PM
As the paperwork is incinerated, more appears to take it's place. So he's still drowning in paperwork until he decides to try sign it.

Castaras sits on one of the random sofas, smirking.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-20, 03:47 PM
AMEN has all sorts of insurance, from cloning to medical to health to automobile to hovercraft and many more.

It's how the organization stays so wealthy, you see.

Dr. Bath
2007-10-20, 03:49 PM
"My dear fellow, it is usually best to just get all this.....unpleasantness out of the way," says Dr. Bath standing over the paperwork, dripping slightly.

"Now, where can I get a new arm around here?"

2007-10-20, 03:52 PM
Thata way.

Castaras points over there.

2007-10-20, 03:53 PM
"Maggie's been out for a while so you can probably get one from a) a clone then destroying the one-armed clone or b) just taking an arm from somewhere in the lab. A mad scientist is very useful."

2007-10-20, 03:55 PM
Aeon looks over at the deadtimed Maur and shrugs, waiting for him to be back online.

2007-10-20, 04:03 PM
"Very well then. Anything for a proper dental plan" says MrEdwardNigma, and he starts filling out the forms, frequently cursing under his breath.

2007-10-20, 04:05 PM
A giant flaming tentacle tries to hit Aeon while they wait.

Dr. Bath
2007-10-20, 04:06 PM
"No, I don't trust that infernal contraption. Nor his 'science'. I shall forge my own, using the darkest materials known in the multiverse, in order to create the greatest arm in all existance! Mwahahahahahahahaha*cough*hahaha!"

Dr. Bath wanders off into the corner where his old bath is gathering dust. He jumps head first into the water and disappears.

2007-10-20, 04:09 PM
Aeon dodges it, and swipes his FrostFire sword at it.

2007-10-20, 04:11 PM
A puppy walks into the room and ****s all over the paperwork that mr.EdwardNigma has already done.
It then leaves the area before above mentioned person can react.

2007-10-20, 04:23 PM
MrEdwardNigma curses loudly and then goes off to slowly boil some random puppies in retribution.

2007-10-20, 04:26 PM
Castaras sighs and Prestidigitationises the paperwork. She then suddenly disappears as her player collapses on her keyboard, snoring softly.

2007-10-20, 04:48 PM
The tentacle dodges, but still gets a sizable chunk torn out of it.

2007-10-20, 04:50 PM
Dragonprime the infrequent poster is back. *kicks a puppy to celebrate* It also appears that the trophy case needs to have my Fighter award added.

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-10-20, 06:01 PM
Thread 17... Wow.

2007-10-20, 09:43 PM
A tall man in battered (That is, pounded, not deep fried.) armor that was once purple but is now gray as ash from one too many point-blank nuclear explosions. "I hear this place is in need of some new blood." he rumbles, "I'm interested."

2007-10-20, 09:51 PM
The man finds himself drowning in paperwork. "Just sign all that in blood, preferably yours, and you're in," a nearby diminutive figure advises.

2007-10-20, 09:58 PM
"I guess I'm supposed to use the blood from all these frakking papercuts then? OK." The big man starts signing every form he can find, pulling out an oversized revolver and shooting an innocent bystander every time he runs out of ink.


2007-10-21, 05:25 AM
Sorry dude, theyre up.
We ran out of innocent bystanders last week, we should receive a shipment next week....

A voice says coming from a heavily protected speaker with a anti-magic shield cast upon it.

2007-10-21, 06:18 AM
Damnit! You started without me! Korias comes running up from the last thread, before he suddenly trips and falls into one of AMEN's many traps. This one happens to sic ill-tempered mutated see bass on you.

2007-10-21, 06:38 AM
"Pssssst, Castaras, here's your paperwork!" the wizard says, and the whole pile of it, signed in triplicate, poofs into existance a couple of inches above her head. BAM!

2007-10-21, 08:29 AM
"Great, another sudden influx of members. As if we didn't have enough before."

Saurous groans at the sight of Dr. Bath's tub being used.

"The old fop is back? Dammit."

Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of AMEN, Maur wonders if he could make it across the pool of lava to the door before PM throws another assault of flaming tentacles at him.

2007-10-21, 08:36 AM
Well, there's already an assault of flaming tentacles left over from last time...

The tentacles that managed to extricate themselves attack Maur, and possibly Aeon too, if he's available.

Edit- this is where we left off:

The mass of tentacles quickly melts the end of the walkway and the door. A few manage to extricate themselves from the mess and strike at the two.

"Okay, no automated weapons in the area... though there are several multi-headed ice-breathing creatures in cages in the next room that can be remotely opened..."

2007-10-21, 09:01 AM
Maur moves out of the way, but the burning cephalopod manages to strike his armor. Maur groans, and casts Protection from Elements on himself. He rushes as far as he can onthe walkway, and jumps for the melted door.

2007-10-21, 09:05 AM
Several tentacles reach up and try to grapple him, but he probably makes it if he can avoid those.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-21, 09:24 AM
Magtok yawns, shakes hand with the new folk, and then heads to the sink to remove the filthy stench of newbies from his shiny metal hand.

He then heads to Private Quarters of The Original Owner of the Headquarters of AMEN, intent on discovering who exactly this person was, and why he or she never used the nigh-invincible fortress to become ruler of the multiverse.

2007-10-21, 09:30 AM
Maur manages to make it, landing in the next room with a dull thump. He stands up, and looks around the room.

"Alright, PM. Where to now?"

2007-10-21, 09:45 AM
Maur is met by several blasts of cold as he enters the room.

"Escape the hydras and wait for Aeon."

2007-10-21, 10:40 AM
MrEdwardNigma deepfries some puppies in boredom.
"Is anyone gonna give me a tour of this place, ro what?"

Lord Magtok
2007-10-21, 10:45 AM
Magtok suddenly appears directly in front of Mr.Nigma

We typically let newbies find everything out on their own. There's an armory over there, with every conceivable device for battle, private quarters and bathrooms for everyone from the moment they walk in, and a whole bunch of other rooms that pop into existence whenever you might have a need for them.

Most of us try to stick to the main lobby. All of those traps and stuff in the deeper parts of the lair kinda scare me.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-21, 11:09 AM
Vespe walks into the original owners Headquarters.
My my, look at that.
Vespe picks up an old disk and puts it in the main screen. It shows (in glorious black and white and no sound) two groups of soldiers fighting in front of the base, one obviously evil and one pathetically good. Suddenly a large armored figure rushes down from the base and proceeds to decimate the good army. However, more and more keep coming. This goes on for a while.

Eventually, it wears down to just the large armored figure and a very high level paladin. They fight for a while, then the paladin grabs some sort of orb from his pocket and throws it on the ground. The two become encased in a bubble, and the bubble teleports away.

The camera then falls to the ground and appears to be crushed by a cyborg in a long black coat. It continues operating for a moment, and the cyborg is shown walking towards the base.

It answers so much, but it raises so many questions.

2007-10-21, 11:19 AM
Scared? Ha! I thought it was the lion who was supposed to be scared, tin man!
Well, I, the master of mystery, the emperor of enigmas, I for one am not scared of these silly traps!
*Walks into trap*
Aaaargh! The horror! The pain!
Hey, is that my spleen?

2007-10-21, 11:23 AM
Looks like it.

Castaras winces slightly and turns away from the violence.

She then remembers she's flattened under a massive pile of legalese.

So the pile of paper just sits there, feet and arms showing, everything else underneath the weight of the paper.

2007-10-21, 12:30 PM
hi ed welcome to the party detrevni picks up ed's spleen and tosses it in the pot of boiling puppies.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-21, 12:36 PM
Mostly out of boredom, Magtok calls in some Titans (http://www.metalarms.com/ma_files/media/titan_concept_art.html) to get the paperwork off of the pieomancer.

2007-10-21, 12:45 PM
Out of boredom, Saurous pushes detrevni into the stew of puppies.

Maur remains rigid and frozen from the ice blasts until PM comes back.

2007-10-21, 12:49 PM
Wow, that was painful...
MrEdwardNigma drags himself to the stew of boiling puppies, leaving a trail of blood on the floor.
Yum, this stuff is actually quite good. This detrevni fellow has quite a lot of flavor, I say!
Wait a minute, is that my spleen?

Lord Magtok
2007-10-21, 01:06 PM
Probably. I strongly suggest you remove it from the stew and give me an exorbitant amount of money to have it placed back inside you.

2007-10-21, 01:08 PM
Castaras chuckles, and blinks, realising that her cruel player just turned her into a catgirl. She glares up at the ceiling.

I hate you.
Heheh. :smallamused:

2007-10-21, 01:13 PM
"At this point, I do not believe that you want it back. I am fairly certain that it coming into contact with Detrevni really screwed it up."

Saurous glances over at Castaras, and obviously tries to keep from bursting out into laughter.

2007-10-21, 01:24 PM
MrEdwardNigma pulls himself up by the brim of the pot of stew, tipping it over.
"Off to find someone to borrow me a spleen!"

2007-10-21, 01:28 PM
Saurous points down a hallway.

"The organ storage room is down that hallway on the left."

2007-10-21, 01:41 PM
"I swear, each time a new thread gets made we get new members for all of five pages. Which is why I petition for a title for AMEN XVIII: Recruitment closed. It works for those Structured Villages so why not here?" Curly wanders around aimlessly flitting between the screen where Maur is and why Catgirl Cassie and the others are. "And wasn't the organ room nearer to Magtoks' labs? For convenience."

2007-10-21, 01:48 PM
"Curly, don't ask why the rooms are where they are. I spent the first fifteen threads asking that question, and look how I turned out. Continuity makes too much sense for it to actually work around here."

2007-10-21, 01:49 PM
Agreed. Just assume that whichever room you're after is "over there", without wondering about the continuity of it.

Castaras flicks her tail, thinking.

2007-10-21, 01:51 PM
"Good point. Must be all that Escher and general reality distortion. Or incredibly bad repair work. You'd think the most evil (technically) organsation ever heard of would get better service."

"And you'd have thought a new laptop would work but noooo. I can't get YouTube, I can't type properly on it, this 'mouse'-touchpad is crapand nothing works! I swear that if I could I would smah this thing to pieces."

2007-10-21, 02:17 PM
Evil doesn't give "good" service, obviously...
Ah, the new shipment of innocent bystanders has arrived!
I'm off to get myself a new spleen. Maybe two!

2007-10-21, 02:25 PM
"...so, Lizzie, why did you turn Castaras into a catgirl? Or was that just a spur of the moment thing?"

"It is most likely because Lizzie is a vicious little bi-"

"-well, I know that but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a reason for it."

2007-10-21, 02:27 PM
Boredom mostly.

She grins at Saurous.

That too.

Castaras sighs and summons a few potions, starting to try and find some sorta cure for the catgirlishness.

2007-10-21, 02:28 PM
"Have fun."

2007-10-21, 02:31 PM
"This will cause more problems than solve them.

...I'm going to go get something that can deflect explosions."

2007-10-21, 02:35 PM
Wheeee, big purpley blue explosion from where Castaras was.

Now there's only a pair of smoking shoes.

Amazing how Saurous was right eh?

2007-10-21, 03:02 PM
All right, who messed with the innocent bystanders? Three of them already had their spleens removed! Three!
Ah, whatever, I don't really care anyway, I'm gonna go watch Law and Order on the big screen TV.
We do have a big screen TV here, right?

2007-10-21, 03:05 PM
"Several televisions, actually."

Saurous points Edward in the direction of the televisions and couches. The main lobby/living room must be so big that someone cannot actually see all the way across it.

2007-10-21, 03:11 PM
Curly shrugs, "Perhaps it's a depth perception thing."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-21, 03:15 PM
Fullbladder suddenly appears.

"More likely the Base is in a fold of Unreality, that unfathomable expanse between our Reality and the Cosmic Nothing."

He lounges off to the side, toying with a screwdriver and the All Spark.

2007-10-21, 03:24 PM
Aeon takes a running start, and jumps to the room with Maur. He pours a liquid on his shield that causes it to erupt into flame. He uses it to block the cold blasts.

Sorry. Player had a football match. What now PM?

2007-10-21, 06:28 PM
"Get through the hydras and into the next room."

Several more ice blasts, as well a few fire, shoot towards the two, followed by several heads.

2007-10-21, 06:40 PM
Aeon grabs the deadtimed Maur and sprints to the next room, using his shield to block the ice blasts.

2007-10-21, 06:41 PM
A black beach ball shaped thing enters through the front doors, looking more than slightly flustered. Walking to the nearest chair, it pulls itself up onto the seat. Eyeing all the other people in the room critically, it pulls a enormous diamond from hammer-space. My apologies, but would anyone have change for a large diamond?
The dimensional police seem to think I've been stealing from the Taj Mahal again.

2007-10-21, 06:42 PM
PhallicWarrior turns and notices the new innocent bystanders, draws his revolver, and causes three heads to explode in a burst of blood. "Yes, more ink. I can finally finish the paperwork and get into this organization."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-21, 06:49 PM
Fullbladder mass-shifts the Allspark down to penny-size, and heads over to Phallic Warrior. He peers over the warrior's shulder at the paperwork.

"Just wave your hand, mon."

And with that he hand-waves a shining item from his glorious MacGuffin collection into his free hand.

"Ooooo, the Golden Disk from the Voyager Probe. I haven't scrutinized this in a while."

And he walks off, studying the Disk. Casually he drops several small diamonds and three tiny diamonds into the beach ball's hand and gestures vaguely to put the large diamond in the MacGuffin Room.

2007-10-21, 07:46 PM
Looking at the diamonds in it's hand, the creature shrugs.
Fair enough.
It hops from the chair, trying to look unimpressed of the facilities at hand.
As it wanders past the bystanders, a number of shadows flow from the weapons to the innocents, leaving most of them pale and covered in sweat.
It then disapears into the MacGuffin Room.

2007-10-21, 09:02 PM
Lucid's former player, Michael walks into the room, dodging the nonsensical shenanigans of the newbies. He holds up a stack of letters, written in pink ink.

Hey, Lucid wrote you scum bags from the State of Total Oblivion. Somehow. Here, take a look.

To All:
Hey everybody! You're probably wondering how I'm able to write to you. Well, due to my elder god heritage, I was able to survive having my entire being thrown across all existent realities. I still, however, am scatter across all existent realities, so, it isn't like I'm having fun. Luckily, the largest portion of my being (At a whopping .07%) is still in phase with the AMEN base's reality. Just enough for calligraphy!

To Rex:
I let you win.

To Saur:
I always wondered, what exactly are you? How can you be a quarter lich? Seriously man, what's up with that?

To Vespe:
Kickin' Avvie dude.

2007-10-21, 09:58 PM
PhallicWarrior finishes the stack and drops it on top of potions bubbling in front of Castaras, knocking several of them onto the ground where some of them mix and explode, sending chunks of the floor flying. Several baseball-sized pieces ping off of PW's armor. He seems not to notice. "So, what is it you do here at AMEN anyway?"

2007-10-22, 08:23 AM
"That really depends upon what you prefer to do. Some people randomly kill others, while others do advetures and whatnot that never actually get finished. AMEN is basically a blank check for insanity."

2007-10-22, 10:46 AM
"Sounds good. I shall begin my quest for world domination, then."

PW strides briskly from the room, just in time to recieve a facefull of flaming tentacle. He charges into the room where Aeon is fighting the tentacled monster thing and draws an electrically charged greatsword, hacking six tentacles with a single swing. He quickly catches up with Aeon. "Where are you going?"

2007-10-22, 11:35 AM
Maur pulls himself off of Aeon's back, and looks over at PW, noting that the hydras are deadtimed.

"We're heading to one of the lesser-used power generators of the base and activating it."

Rex Idiotarum
2007-10-22, 11:42 AM
"Fine, I'll help reform him." The Trickster says, looking down at the Note.

2007-10-22, 11:50 AM
Even Law and Order gets boring after a while...
Oh well, I'll just go along on your quest for the power generator then, even though I haven't a clue what you're planning on reaching by activating it...

2007-10-22, 12:12 PM
"I'll watch. It's normally fun to see secondary characters face insurmountable odds that are surmounted with ease."

2007-10-22, 12:35 PM
"Watch as all the new members jump onto the bandwagon!"

Saurous sighs, and watches from whatever computer console is being used to monitor Maur's/Aeon's/PW's/Edward's/whoever-the-hell-else-wants-to-join's progress.

"Well, at this point, we just wait for PirateMonk to get back."

2007-10-22, 01:12 PM
"Perhaps it's this eagerness bug."

Lord Magtok
2007-10-22, 01:46 PM
Magtok wanders around, holding an empty jar with a large crack in it, and a label with "Eagerness Virus" on it.

Dammit, it must've somehow escaped and infected the newbies. And I was this close to finding a cure.

2007-10-22, 02:27 PM
"Magtok, you must be more careful with your pathological experiments. You really should stick to robotics and mechanical weaponry. When was the last time you created a new robot to torture everyone with?"

2007-10-22, 02:39 PM
"I knew it! And I think it was about two threads ago. But he hasn't even tortured anyone for longer."

2007-10-22, 02:42 PM
You're slipping Maggie.

Castaras smirks.

Although I haven't thrown a pie at someone in a while...Might as well do it now while I remember...

A random pie with a random potion in it is randomly thrown at Magtok at the peak of randomness.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-22, 02:47 PM
The pie hits Magtok, but doesn't seem to do anything. The cyborg simply wipes the pie off of himself, and wanders over to his labs. Moments later, a large pack of cybernetic velociraptors come charging out the door, intent on tearing out Saur's neck.

2007-10-22, 02:59 PM
"Haven't seen those for ages. But they're only after Saur so that's OK."

2007-10-22, 03:00 PM
You're slipping Maggie.

Castaras smirks.

Although I haven't thrown a pie at someone in a while...Might as well do it now while I remember...

A random pie with a random potion in it is randomly thrown at Magtok at the peak of randomness.

"Do you realize what just happened?"

Saurous suddenly pulls up a rolling chalkboard with a line chart hanging in front of it. One axis reads "Randomness Level", while the other reads "Time". Saurous points at the peak of the randomness level, which just so happens to be at the time where Castaras threw the pie.

"You threw the random pie with a random potion that was randomly thrown at this ex-BLARGH!"

Saurous is killed by the raptors without much fighting back. His ghost continues talking.

"-act moment, which means that the pie became such a forceful amount of randomness that it did....absolutely nothing."

2007-10-22, 03:37 PM
"Which makes sense. Oh, and the Ganurathi Empire wants us to work with them or something."

2007-10-22, 03:48 PM
The creature returns, it's pockets slightly bulging.
Looking resolute, it moves over to the closest member (lets say Castaras for safety's sake:smallwink: ) and tugs on her skirt.
Hello, I am greatly impressed by your organization.
I wonder if you could use the services of a ninja, though?
With that it steps back and looks as cute and slightly evil as possible.

2007-10-22, 04:28 PM
You're wanting to join.

Castaras summons loads of paperwork written in untranslateable legalese on top of Wadledo.

Just sign all that stuff, and you'll be in. Sign it in blood, preferably your own.

She then disappears.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-22, 04:35 PM
"-act moment, which means that the pie became such a forceful amount of randomness that it did....absolutely nothing."

Untrue. That pie has inspired me to pick up where I left off, and resume my quest to find the ultimate killing machine.

...I think I'm gonna try making a cyborg platypus next...

Magtok wanders off to go make more stuff.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-22, 05:13 PM
Fullbladder chooses that exact moment to crash up through the room's floor in his brand new vintage 1960's Batmarine (it's a submarine that turns into a jet and has a Batman motif, being a Batman-transport). This manages to kill at least one of the velociraptors.

"Just so you know, if you join up with Ganurath I will have only a few reservations against killing you, and only because you'll be grunts in the organization, and I'm after the heads."

He also turns on his MacGuffin Tracking Device, having seen Wadledo's pockets.

2007-10-22, 08:49 PM
I don't have blood.
I'm a sack of enzymes that can break down almost anything.
It removes a large and valuable gemstone from its pocket, pressing the gem against the place where it's mouth would be.
The glittery stone disappears through the surface of its skin with a *sklurp*.
MMMM, sapphiry.
Well, best get started on this paperwork.
It drags the stack over to a chair, and begins to fill out the forms, using a knife that oozes blood from the tip as a pen.

2007-10-23, 06:24 PM
SP cheers.

"Hurrah! The forum is no longer down for me! Yay!"

"Good for you. Now why the hell haven't I been revived yet? Is my phylactery on the fritz again?"

"Yeah. You need to put a bit more effort into getting back to life this time."

A rune on the ceiling suddenly appears and burns out in a small sparkle of energy.

"I hate you."

"I know."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-23, 06:37 PM
"Don't worry, Saurous! I have a Batviver! It'll revive you in slightly under three weeks, but will unfortunately infuse you with half of Adam West's DNA. And also the Animated Batman's chin. I'm not sure why."

Fullbladder begins preparing something in a rear compartment of the Batmarine, probably making ready the Batviver.

2007-10-23, 06:45 PM
"Uh, n-no, that won't be necessary, Fullbladder. I think I can figure out how to revive myself in under three weeks and not give me a superhero's physical attributes."

Saurous stops manifesting, retreating back to the Etheral Plane until Fullbladder decides to not go on with this Batviver buisness.

2007-10-23, 06:55 PM
"So, anyway, plot."

2007-10-23, 07:05 PM
"Right. We rushed most of the way across the hydra room, wondering what we were supposed to do next."

Maur prepares to take Aeon's shield if necessary.

2007-10-23, 07:07 PM
The room is well-lit and huge. Half is full of machinery. The other half is full of rows upon rows of terminals.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-23, 07:07 PM
Vespe randomly walks in, pulls some goggles down over his eyes, then grabs what appears to be a miniature door out of his pocket, and throws it onto the forehead of TPBM.

2007-10-23, 07:09 PM
PM tries to just snatch it out of the air, not in the mood for idiocy.

2007-10-23, 07:13 PM
"Okaaaay...I'm guessing that we are in the generator room now. Where should the place for the crystal be, PM?"

Maur walks over to one of the nearest terminals, dragging Aeon along the floor behind him.

Meanwhile, a window in the main room suddenly breaks inwards. A glass shard flies at an impossible angle and lands in Vespe's chest.

2007-10-23, 07:20 PM
There's a nice little slot for the crystal.

2007-10-23, 07:21 PM
Maur inserts the crystal.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-23, 07:26 PM
Vespe dies and stuff.

2007-10-23, 07:27 PM
A small blinks on.

"Okay, now log in and activate the generator."

2007-10-23, 07:31 PM
Maur logs in, and attempts to activate the generator with whatever may come up.

2007-10-23, 07:33 PM
The machinery creaks to a start. It's surprisingly loud.

"Now I advise you get out of there before you go deaf."

2007-10-23, 07:47 PM
"Is there another way out that doesn't involve going back past the hydras?"

Maur begins to head back the way he came in from.

2007-10-23, 07:57 PM
"Yeah, now that the computers are activated and connected to the main network, I can remotely deactivate the teleport ward and teleport you back." It types a bit more, followed by beaming the two back to the main room.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-23, 08:06 PM
Woo! They're back. Now we can profit from all the hard work they did while we sat around on our lazy arses!

2007-10-23, 08:08 PM
There's a faint clank from deep within the base. "Okay, sounds like the generator is operating at full capacity. Let's see what that gets us." PM types more. "Awesome."

2007-10-23, 09:07 PM
PW dissapears in a burst of light, but doesn't reappear with everyone else. Instead, he is trapped in a sort of twilight realm where he can see everyone else around him, but only fuzzily. He walks up to Curly's FuzzysShadow(tm) and pokes it.

2007-10-23, 09:37 PM
On the Ethereal Plane, Saurous's disembodied soul spots a doubly disembodied hand floating towards him, from several hundred feet away. When it gets close enough, it holds up a sign, manifested from nowhere.


Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-23, 10:02 PM
"Don't worry, Vespe! The Batviver is almost prepared!"

Fullbladder continues twisting knobs, pushing buttons, and typing on a blue/grey keypad. Once or twice he scurries out and measures Vespe's corpse for some reason before darting back into his little Batmarine Laboratory.

2007-10-24, 01:49 AM
Pandaren wandesr in...He forgets step #2....

2007-10-24, 11:30 AM
Castaras shoots the panda, before he eats, shoots, and leaves.

2007-10-24, 12:52 PM
"I hate that grammer book you know. She's obsessed with Opal Fruits. Well, they're Starbursts now."
"Well, you shouldn't be learning it then.""It's for the lesson!"

Out of boredom a small cat takes a very small piece of machinery out of the Batviver. It then goes into Maggie's labs and puts it in his latest experiment.

2007-10-24, 01:21 PM
MrEdwardNigma abandons the plot because he doesn't really have a clue what's going on anyways, and he was never really too fond of hydras.
He then starts working on installing a questionmark signal in the lair.
"In case anyone ever needs me, just light the questionmark signal. It will be questionable wether I show up though..."


"Maybe I should make myself a questionmarkshaped throne? I mean, it can't be good for the backbone, but it'd look awesome!"

2007-10-24, 02:36 PM
At least I only got shot....*bleeding on floor*, he says, totally setting himself up for somebody to come closer to him. On close inspection, the blood is actually ketchup.

2007-10-24, 02:38 PM
"So, is it okay with everyone if I eat that panda over there? I'm getting hungry, and sure this lair has plenty of food supplies, but I don't feel like walking all the way over to them..."

2007-10-24, 02:47 PM
"Eh, go ahead. I'm sure that is why he has ketchup covering his chest."

2007-10-24, 02:49 PM
Pandaren moans convincingly, even thoguh it sounded more like a pirate who's peg leg suddenly broke than a Panda-humanoid.

2007-10-24, 03:17 PM
Finally done with the paperwork, Wadledo walks over to the dying panda, stabs it's throat with a knife, and stares at the red blade critically.
It sparkles weakly.
"Wasn't worth it. Anybody want his soul? And who am I supposed to give this paperwork to?"

2007-10-24, 03:28 PM
Strangely, the Pandaren wants to live, so it rolls away from the knife-weilding thing and attempts to crack its head open with his staff.

2007-10-24, 04:03 PM
MrEdwardNigma picks up the panda and drags him for his boiling cettle f hot water.
Don't worry, I'm just taking you for a nice, hot bath :smallamused:

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-24, 04:36 PM
"Damn-ned feline!"

Fullbladder comes thundering out of the Batviver room, snarling up a storm and looking around over the muzzle of a weapon he designed for the slaughter of catgirls--but normal cats will work just fine.

"Did anyone see where that cat went? It came into my workarea and stole the most vital part of the Batviver! It's the tiny peice that sucks the soul, spirit, conscious, or what-have-you into the revived body! Now the most I can do is make an oddly chinned clone!

"Incidentally, that's what's happening, since I finished preparing the device and started up it's process of making a new Vespe before I noticed that something was gone."

And so he heads off on a cat-hunt, starting near the Giant Mutant Mouse Traps, where cats can often be found.

2007-10-24, 04:46 PM
To the Pandaren being dragged away he says "Well that's convenient.
He pops one of the jewels into his mouth like a piece of candy while he watches the goblin scurry around.

2007-10-24, 05:11 PM
Korias, now removed from the pit-trap, sees LeoMan in the barrels, bleeding. Suddenly... YOUR IN MY BEER! Korias makes a lunge for the pandaren, smashing him into the nearby wall. A hundred Cthulhuoids from last thread return to retrive the beer and take it to Korias's room.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-24, 05:51 PM
Vespe walks in and pulls out a sheet of paper, which he starts writing on.

As he does, "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite!" plays.

No one knows why.

2007-10-24, 07:42 PM
PW forces his way into the material plane, right next to Curly, and pokes her again.

2007-10-25, 05:25 PM
"So... would anyone like to hear what we can do now that we have the generator activated? Anyone at all?"

2007-10-25, 05:33 PM
"I'll hear it. Don't expect me to pretend I'm interested though" says MrEdwardNigma, shrugging as his dinner is dragged away by the Cthuluoids.
"I wonder how those things taste..."

2007-10-25, 05:50 PM
After a long time deadtimed in his place, Draken's eyes lit up bellow his helmet, and sudenly, everything is cold.

Another outburst of new members? We should really find a way to select the candidates.

2007-10-25, 05:53 PM
"We can't force people to leave, though. Forum rules."

2007-10-25, 05:56 PM
"So... would anyone like to hear what we can do now that we have the generator activated? Anyone at all?"

"Well, you're gonna tell us anyways."

Lord Magtok
2007-10-25, 06:10 PM
So...how does it work? I'm interested.

2007-10-25, 06:42 PM
"It's a weapon. It pulls energy from somewhere, most likely subspace or the Cosmic Flow, and releases the stream directly at the target." The quarterling types more.

On the surface, a huge metal dome, sealed for eons, slowly creaks open.

"The blast is energy in its purest form. This, of course, makes it nigh impossible to direct, but the people who built this place figured out a way to do it, given enough energy." The screen displays a view of the outside, where something is crackling with electricity.

"After the weapon finishes charging, we'll see what it can do."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-25, 06:49 PM
"Is this one of those 'once it's started charging, you HAVE to fire it off or it will blow up and destroy you and everything you hold dear' sorts of weapons?"

Fullbladder wanders into this general area, a small kitten on each shoulder and a third cradled like a baby in the crook of his arm, purring.

2007-10-25, 06:55 PM
"No. You can stop at any time, though you need to find a place to dump the stored power. But that's not much of a problem, as the power is used to control the energy of the blast, not supply it."

The device finishes charging. A massive stream of energy leaps from the dome, obliterating all life in a nearby werewolf village, leaving only a crater that isn't even smoking.

"And that's barely scratching the surface. If we get enough power, this thing can shatter moons."

2007-10-25, 07:33 PM
"How wonderful," Saurous says, fading back into the material realm. "We have a massive piece of weaponry in near equivalence to the Dakara Superweapon that will require several more deadly trips down into the lower areas of the base to unlock it's full potential. Lovely. How long until this little plot point is completely forgotten and replaced with something even bigger and shinier?"

2007-10-25, 07:59 PM
"Five minutes, tops."

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-25, 10:55 PM
"So, we have an ancient item of untold devasation on our hands, eh?"

Fullbladder rubs the kitten's belly absently.

"I say we destroy it. It's too powerful for this world. It could be used against us. Sapient creatures were never meant to tamper with this much power.

"I can probably think up more reasons, if need be."

2007-10-26, 11:10 AM
"Nah, screw that. I'll lead the trip down into the lower levels if you're to big a pansy to do it yourself. Besides," he draws a knife, then drives it through his hand for emphasis, "I can't really be killed."

2007-10-26, 02:34 PM
No one here can.


That is the greater truth of AMEN.

To prove his point, Draken does something he's never done. He presses a small blue button in a small box that sits by his side, and a rumbling sound can be heard.

This rumbling sound precedes a stampede coming out of his laboratory, doing what the stampedes usually do.

Overrun everyone.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-26, 02:42 PM
When the stampede is over, all that is left of Magtok is a decapitated head, some torn robes, and a toaster.

2007-10-26, 02:46 PM
Castaras blinks, and is horribly mutilated by the stampede.

Although, when the stampede disappears, nothing of Castaras is left.

2007-10-26, 02:47 PM
A... Toaster?

Magtok must be running out of materials.

Releasing the monsters was actually fun, we should do this with more frequence.

The twelve heads laught among themselves.

2007-10-26, 03:25 PM
Exachix counters Overrun with Overrule.

He sits contently.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-26, 04:53 PM
As the stampede ends, Fullbladder's bruised upper body reaches nonchalantly towards his shins, now lying several feet away. His thighs and waist are nowhere to be found. Finding he cannot reach his shins, his eyes roll inside his head and his heart stops.

2007-10-26, 06:50 PM
"Riiight. That was also the perfect example of the pointlessness that goes on around here."

Saurous remains floating in the exact same place he was when he asked about the time when he asked about the energy superweapon.

Maur finds himself pressed up against a wall after the stampede ends, apparently after trying to get out of the way of the rampaging monsters.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-26, 07:15 PM
Vespe walks out of his room with a large suitcase. He proceeds to open it up, and start packing different things from the room into it - his video games, his weapons, the TV, the rug, the cat, Saur's ghost, etc.

2007-10-26, 09:18 PM
PW sits up, armor dented but otherwise completely unharmed. "Really now, was that necissary? As I was saying, who wants to do a little evil-fortress delving?"

2007-10-26, 09:30 PM
Necessary? Hardly.

Interesting to watch? Of course.

Totally pointless? Saurous is the master of the obvious, many will agree.

2007-10-27, 07:32 AM
Totally pointless? Saurous is the master of the obvious, many will agree.

"Indeed I am."

2007-10-27, 02:11 PM
"Noone will disagree there." says CP as she pins a note to a wall:

The following characters have been lynched or autolynched:
All the players for general Godmodding
All the players for exessive failure to comply with the minor rules
All the major players for inactivity

"Great." complaoins Curly as she finds herself lynched, along with every other entity that has ever been mentioned.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-27, 02:20 PM
Fullbladder's corpse's neck suddenly finds itself several inches longer, and broken.

As the corpse had sat there for a while, this isn't very noticable. But only because Fullbladder begins to decay VERY quickly.

And you though he smelled bad when he was alive.

2007-10-27, 02:35 PM
Saurous the Unfriendly Ghost groans as he finds himself hanging from the ceiling with a spectral noose wrapped around his neck.

"Where did you find one of these?" he asks, pointing at the noose.

2007-10-27, 02:50 PM
CP smiles and says, "Well, you know those shops you find in weird corners ans streets that say they sell anything imaginable? I found one that told the truth."
Curly sighs, "She went to one of those Ghost Shops. The ones that sell anything a ghost could ever want. Well, that's where they get all their equipment froom. You didn't think a ghost could enact a hanging with corporeal rope did you." her corpse continues to swing slightly in a small draught.

V Junior
2007-10-27, 02:51 PM
An explosion comes from floor negative 659489064 of the base. A yelp is heard, followed by a ruby on a gold chain flying out of floor negative 659489064.

Aw, goddamn it! Not again! This voice comes from the necklace, and it sounds oddly like Junior.

2007-10-27, 03:13 PM
Maur wanders over to the necklace, and picks it up off the ground.

"V? What happened?"


2007-10-27, 03:16 PM
Curly decides to stop being a corpse amd comes back to life. "Isn't this like you phylactory? Or is it phylactery?"

V Junior
2007-10-27, 03:27 PM
This is what happens when... well, yeah, it's like Saur's phylactery.

Victoria falls asleep.

2007-10-27, 03:29 PM
"It is spelled with an 'e'."

Saurous pulls his head out of the incoporeal hangman's knot, and floats over to where the Maur picked up the necklace.

2007-10-27, 03:31 PM
"If we smash it does that mean she won't come back?" she asks hopefully. "If so let's break it!" she smiles nastily.

2007-10-27, 03:35 PM
"It should."

Saurous grins, and telekinetically pulls the necklace out of Maur's hand.

"So, would someone else like to destroy it, or should I?"

"Well, I'm not doing it."

2007-10-27, 03:42 PM
"You have the most experience with these things so you can have the honour." she waves her hand as if to say go ahead.

2007-10-27, 03:58 PM

Saurous hurls the bejeweled necklace into the air, and allows it to fall back down. As it spirals down toward the ground, Maur snatches it out of the air.

"Y'know, I don't think I'm going to let you destroy Meadhbh's mother like that."

"...Maur, you do realize that she would most likely be back within two days even if we did destroy it."

"Nonetheless, I'm going to go put this somehwere where it won't get smashed against something."

2007-10-27, 04:04 PM
"Maur has the bleeding hots for Mea doesn't he? Perfect! Just when we were going to have some fun. Can't you send him to LG land or some appropraite type of p[unishment?" she shouts in exasperation; suddenly she stops, an evil light in her eyes. "Force him to watch Teletubbies!"
"That's horrible."

2007-10-27, 08:31 PM
PW watches te preceding events with feigned boredom, and blurs into motion just after CP (whoever she is) finishes talking, and backhands 'Maur across the room, leaving the necklace spinning in the air, cartoon-style. He snatches it out of the air and crushes it to powder between the palms of his hands. "That should do it."

2007-10-27, 08:40 PM
Raistlin comes out of his room.

Hey Vespe! Have you seen Across the Universe?

2007-10-28, 12:35 AM
Rp comes dashing in with his laptop.

Red Alert! Red Alert! Moon Called is leaving the forums. Her mother is blocking the site Red Alert!

She wanted me to tell you she'll miss us most of all and'll try to get back on soon. So go to her thread and say you'll miss her too. Right now!

The universe explodes.

2007-10-28, 01:03 AM
Radikal Skippy drops by only to pay homage to Moon Called. She will be missed.

2007-10-28, 08:03 AM
Rp comes dashing in with his laptop.

Red Alert! Red Alert! Moon Called is leaving the forums. Her mother is blocking the site Red Alert!

She wanted me to tell you she'll miss us most of all and'll try to get back on soon. So go to her thread and say you'll miss her too. Right now!

The universe explodes.

Both SP and Saurous faint. Do not ask how Saurous fainted, being dead already. He just sort of floats in the air in a laying-down position.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-28, 01:07 PM
Magtok heads to his labs for a while. When he comes back, he is holding a plaque, which is promptly put on the wall. It reads:

In Memory of Moon Called/Saphire
07-25-06 to 10-28-07

It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew

- Henry Rollins

The cyborg sighs deeply, and then returns to his quarters.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-28, 03:51 PM
Raistlin comes out of his room.

Hey Vespe! Have you seen Across the Universe?

Yeah, it was nice. The only thing I really didn't like was Prudence's cover of "I Want To Hold Your Hand."

And yes, it is sad that MC left.

Vespe holds up a lighter.

Come back soon, MC.

He then drops it and the whole base gets set on fire.


Lord Magtok
2007-10-28, 04:07 PM
The cyborg comes rushing out of his quarters, screaming in agony and running around in circles as he's slowly fried to death.

Oh gods, the pain! It feels like someone shoved me into a barrel of gasoline, and then tossed it into the furnace!

He runs over to a fire extinguisher, but to his horror, someone had decided to replace the contents of it with alcohol.

Gah! Now it's even worse!

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-28, 04:59 PM
Vespe walks outside of the base, grabs a stick, and pulls a marshmallow out of his pocket. He roasts it on the burning base.

2007-10-28, 05:04 PM
MrEdwardNigma stumbles out of the base.
Wow, that was some fire, eh? Good thing I got out
Wait, is my hair on fire?

2007-10-28, 05:48 PM
"Ooh, marshmallows. Yum." she takes some and roasts them over some burning cyborg for that extra spice.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-28, 05:49 PM
Hmm....all marshmallow induced yumminess aside, what are we going to do about the base on fire? Are we just going to let it burn down? I spent seconds handwaving so much of that base into existence! :smallannoyed:

2007-10-28, 06:14 PM
"You don't have to worry. The base is enchanted automatically rebuild itself once destroyed. When it just burns down, we just have to wait for it to fix itself," Saurous explains, appearing next to Vespe.

Lord Fullbladder, Master of Goblins
2007-10-28, 06:56 PM
Fullbladder watches the blaze from a distance.

"It probably won't help the world much that I was summoning a Lovecraftian Horror when everything blew up. 'Course, the fire wouldn't really affect it. It was only climbing out of the toilet when te fire started."

He looks around at some of the others.

"What? The best place to summon giant evil octopi is a toilet. A simple summoning circle just doesn't cut it. It also doesn't have the same disgusting visual effect."

Something in the burning base explodes as he finishes.

"Would that have been the bar?"

2007-10-29, 09:33 AM
"Maybe, but it could've also been MC's manga and anime collection. Or Maggie's labs or anythi-" she looks worried and waves her hands for a few seconds. "ng except for the Library that is. I'm not havig those books automatically rebuilt. I mean some of those are uniwue and aren't the same after being regenerated."

2007-10-29, 11:49 AM
Well, as long as it wasn't my questionmark shaped bombs supply, I'm fine with it!
Hmmm, probably shouldn't have left those lying around in that fire...:smallconfused:

2007-10-29, 02:35 PM
"Maybe, but it could've also been MC's manga and anime collection. Or Maggie's labs or anythi-" she looks worried and waves her hands for a few seconds. "ng except for the Library that is. I'm not havig those books automatically rebuilt. I mean some of those are uniwue and aren't the same after being regenerated."

"Well, judging by the fact that they crackle and pop when they are burned individually in the furnace, I bet it was the particularly unsavory ones that caused the explosion.

Or it could have been the section of the Completely Overstocked Armory that held all the thermal detonators and other explosives."

2007-10-29, 03:02 PM
"Well, judging by the fact that they crackle and pop when they are burned individually in the furnace, I bet it was the particularly unsavory ones that caused the explosion.

Or it could have been the section of the Completely Overstocked Armory that held all the thermal detonators and other explosives."

"I guess. But hasn't this base burnt down enough times for them to become immune? Or hasn't ever burned this long?
Either way we'll have to fix it eventually. How long till the autobots start to fix this place."

2007-10-29, 03:10 PM
"Ahhhhhhhuuu, you people are insane."
Sighs Wadledo as he sits on his forms.
"I really should have gone to Vegas."

2007-10-29, 03:34 PM
"Indeed we are, strange cycloptic Kirby character."

At that moment, an alarm goes off, causing several soldiers to stomp out of a nearby barrack and into the base. They carry fire extinguishers, which they spray over the flames.

Maur (who had always been standing nearby. Yup, the whole time.) shouts down into the volcano's crater.

"It's about freaking time!"

2007-10-29, 03:36 PM
"It has been longer than usual." Turning to the wadledo person she says, "What's wierd about us?"

2007-10-29, 03:40 PM
"Your not weird, your insane.
Subtle difference."

2007-10-29, 03:42 PM
"Dad, why is it that our fire control minions are only normal people rather than undead or robotic or something?"

"...we spend thousands of dollars, yin, gil, gold, and even Septims to keep every type of soldier immaginable for every other job in this base, and we're supposed to have superhuman firefighters, too? We don't have infinite money."

"I thought we did."

"No, infinity is boring."

He then looks over at Curly.

"Besides everything?"

2007-10-29, 03:53 PM
"Not everything is. Concern for personal belongings isn't insane or wierd. Neither are most of the thngs we do. They're just amplified by our status as technically the most evil villians in all the mulitiverses."

2007-10-29, 03:57 PM
"You set fire to your own building!
I'm surprised Logic isn't sharpening it's Fish blade right now."

2007-10-29, 04:05 PM
"In my response, I must say...everything is Vespe's fault."

He then points at the elven mutant.

2007-10-29, 04:23 PM
"It's true you know. You can blame everythng on Vespe and I can prove it." from one of her pockets she takes out a book.

500 000 Reasons Vespe Did It
No matter what the occassion he will have done it.

She hands it around.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-29, 09:11 PM
Vespe grabs the book and looks through it.

You know, these are pretty valid points. :smallconfused:

2007-10-29, 09:20 PM
PhallicWarrior kicks Vespe across the room because a burning ceiling beam fell on his head.

2007-10-29, 09:28 PM
Wadledo also takes a look at the book.
"mind if I get a copy of this book?
I could use a laugh."

Fus.Weapon 1337
2007-10-29, 11:23 PM
Y'know what we need around here? Some elections.


V Junior
2007-10-30, 02:21 AM
...OKay, so my boyfriend's worst enemy's son just saved my life...

Junior pops back into existance, wearing the necklace. Meadhbh looks at the past posts, and blushes at the post after the one where Maur saves her mother's life.

Elections? Oh brother. Well...

What for? Leader of AMEN?

2007-10-30, 03:46 AM
"You know, that fire just doesn't seem to be dying out. Maybe it didn't help that I filled all the fire extinguishers with alcohol while nobody was watching?"

2007-10-30, 03:56 AM
"Indeed we are, strange cycloptic Kirby character."

At that moment, an alarm goes off, causing several soldiers to stomp out of a nearby barrack and into the base. They carry fire extinguishers, which they spray over the flames.

Maur (who had always been standing nearby. Yup, the whole time.) shouts down into the volcano's crater.

"It's about freaking time!"

"It's being fixed. Don't meddle."

V Junior
2007-10-30, 03:57 PM
Junior looks at the remains of the base, and her right hand glows green for a second. Edward finds himself tied to a post with a sign saying 'Torture Me' around his neck.

Junior uses thumbscrews on him.

2007-10-30, 05:23 PM
"You know, V Junior, I'm just not-Aaaaargh!-enjoying this. Maybe we can work it out, like civilized people?" asks MrEdwardNigma.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-30, 05:27 PM
Magtok comes over, and hands her a cookie. And a knife. Guess which one is for Mr. Nigma.

2007-10-30, 05:32 PM
Rooting around in the equipment shed, wadledo exclaims"Ohhhhhhhhh, you guys have got a really nice selection of torture devices.
I'm not sure what this one is supposed to do though."

2007-10-30, 05:47 PM
Magtok comes over, and hands her a cookie. And a knife. Guess which one is for Mr. Nigma.
Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, c'mon, let it be the cookie!

Rex Idiotarum
2007-10-30, 05:49 PM
"This is SPARTA!" Can be heard from above and a Persian falls from a hole in the ceiling and into a well on the floor.

2007-10-30, 05:52 PM
Maur walks over to the stake, and gives Mr. Nigma a very demonic grin.

"Edward, would you like to have a new belly button?"

He then pulls out a very large and dangerous-looking drill.

2007-10-30, 06:26 PM
MrEdwardNigma tosses a fireball at Saurous Maur. [I get confused...]
"Let's not forget, people, smoking kills" :smallamused:

2007-10-30, 06:31 PM
Saurous blinks, and wonders if Edward realizes that him and Maur are two different people. He also wonders if Edward remembered that Saurous is still dead, and thus immune to most elemental effects.

"Is that a yes or no?"

Maur then presses the drill to Edward's chest area, and turns it on.

2007-10-31, 05:44 AM
"Diamond drill bit or a dull one? Dull is more fun but diamond is better able to reach those delicte innards."

2007-10-31, 02:41 PM
I suggest we force him to vote Mind Flayer!"
"Or we could use broken glass to flay the skin off of him, its basically the same."

Lord Magtok
2007-10-31, 02:43 PM
Gah! A reference to nothing! Nothing at all! It burns!

Magtok suddenly catches fire, and desperately tries to avert attention away from the post that suddenly caused him to be incinerated.

2007-10-31, 02:57 PM
Gah! A reference to real-world politics! It burns!

Magtok suddenly catches fire, and desperately tries to avert attention away from the post that suddenly caused him to be incinerated.

"Huh? What're you talking about Maggie?"

2007-10-31, 03:01 PM
"Huh? What're you talking about Maggie?"

"Edit is better than divine intervention sometimes."

2007-10-31, 03:36 PM
Gah! A reference to real-world politics! It burns!

Magtok suddenly catches fire, and desperately tries to avert attention away from the post that suddenly caused him to be incinerated.

SP puts on a pair of sunglasses and pulls out a Neuralizer, and uses it to wipe the memory of Magtok or his ashes.

"You saw nothing here, sir. There was no political reference."

2007-10-31, 03:40 PM
"Ah. The magic of the Men In Black. Didn't they come around once for something or other?"

2007-10-31, 04:12 PM
Yea. But of course, I don't remember a thing about it, no siree. I remember nothing about when the MIB came to take Fullbladder away or something....

Castaras whistles innocently and disappears into one of the labs.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-31, 04:16 PM
Magtok is suddenly not on fire anymore, and doesn't remember a thing. The pile of ashes then begins to crawl towards the labs.

Odd. I could've sworn I was on fire a moment ago for no good reason.

2007-10-31, 04:19 PM
A gummy bear falls from the ceiling.

2007-10-31, 04:23 PM
"There's never a reason to set you on fire. Except for fun." Curly then lights a match and chucks it at Magtok's robes. She then watches whatever happens.

Lord Magtok
2007-10-31, 04:33 PM
Magtok dives to grab the gummi bear, misses, is lit on fire, and resumes his panicking, burning, dying, and stuff like that.

2007-10-31, 04:34 PM
Castaras points and laughs.

2007-10-31, 04:35 PM
"We do have fire extinguishers. Don't know why though. 'bout as useful as a choclate fire guard." Grabbing the extinguishers she proceeds to put out Magtok.

2007-10-31, 04:39 PM
MrEdwardNigma struggles free from his robes as everyone watches the burning Magtok.
"And now...to plot for revenge!
...Or I could just bake some chocolate chip cookies, off course"

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-31, 04:40 PM
Vespe runs around, desperately trying to think of something to start off his National Novel Writing Month book.

He settles for having a seizure and tearing out his hair.

2007-10-31, 04:43 PM
Castaras summons a pie and throws it at MrEdwardNigma's face.

This particular pie has knives, fire-breathing beetles, frost breathing beetles, poison, more poison, and other horrible stuff in it that is meant to kill the purple questionomancer.

Lizzie grins at Vespe.

I dunno what I'm going to do either. Just going to wing it. :smallamused:

Lord Magtok
2007-10-31, 04:46 PM
The fire is put out, and Magtok eventually comes to a stop.

Thanks...wait...why'd you do that? You were the one who lit me on fire in the first place.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-31, 04:46 PM
The newly bald Vespe stands up.
Indeed. However, I need something. Something. A character, a starting sentence...my imagination has to go dead the day before it starts. Perfect. :smallannoyed:
His hair regrows to the exact same length instantly.

He then continues to panic and continue tearing off his hair, which continues to regrow.

2007-10-31, 04:48 PM
"Why not? And I didn't expect you to make the same mistake - wait. You're Maggy. You always make the same mistake. I suppose it was for giggles." she then throws the defunct extinguisher in Vespe's general direction, not really aiming at anyone.

2007-10-31, 04:48 PM
Castaras hmms.

Vespe. You will write about a zombie with a chainsaw. This zombie will be in love with a pig, and has a hamster and a tray of raspberry tarts as its parents. The story will be about how this zombie tries to get as many tacos as possible, to complete his dream of becoming a mighty llama in a car.

She nods wisely and walks off in a random direction.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-31, 04:50 PM
No thanks, that's what my last novel was about. Need a new idea.
The extinguisher hits Vespe.

It certainly does make him stop panicking.

2007-10-31, 04:50 PM
"You'll write about Zombie Beatles going on a tour. Or about AMEN. Or Bealtles in AMEN. With chainsaws. It's simple."

2007-10-31, 04:51 PM
Yeah! Write something about AMEN!

Goblin Music
2007-10-31, 04:53 PM
The newly bald Vespe stands up.
Indeed. However, I need something. Something. A character, a starting sentence...my imagination has to go dead the day before it starts. Perfect. :smallannoyed:
His hair regrows to the exact same length instantly.

He then continues to panic and continue tearing off his hair, which continues to regrow.

*Ping* (http://www.seventhsanctum.com/index-writ.php) Try this.

Vespe Ratavo
2007-10-31, 04:53 PM
Oooh. AMEN is ripe with possibilities for a novel, plus it means I can use the only character I've ever actually developed half way. Myself. Vespe. Err....um...yeah.

Hey everyone, is it all right if I use your characters without permission, drastically altering their personalities and subjecting them to death in horrible yet amusing ways?


Vespe then teleports away to novel planning land.

2007-10-31, 04:56 PM
Yeah, you can use Cassie.

Castaras and Lizzie then disappear.

Goblin Music
2007-10-31, 04:58 PM
Sureyou can use my Chars.

2007-10-31, 04:59 PM
"Go ahead. I don't mind." Curly nods as well.

2007-10-31, 05:00 PM
Use Exy if you must =D.