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Ventruenox
2020-01-03, 02:09 PM
So I have a player who wants a homebrew subclass for my upcoming Spelljammer campaign, with a heavy metal feel. His goals were to inspire a mosh pit and to deal thunder damage with his attacks. I am blatantly stealing from other bardic colleges I have seen written up, but I am not going to publish this or use it anywhere but at my table, and I have modified the text of copyrighted content. I have a feeling that it is a bit overpowered, so I am looking for tweaks.

College of Metal

Bards are generally known for their witty ballads, harmonious madrigals, and fancy foppish hats. They wear charming smiles and will sweet talk their way to their heart's desire. Then there are those of a persuasion who considers these performers as lily-livered gutless worms. The world is BRUTAL, and sound and style demonstrated by these audacious artistes reflects that intensity. Don your spiked leather, face paint, and horned helmets; primal scream your power chords; this is Metal.

Metäl Träppings

When you choose this college at 3rd level, you gain proficiency with medium armor, battleaxes and greataxes. You are able to customize a melee weapon you are proficient with to double as a musical instrument, this serves as your Signature Bardic Weapon.

Deäthgrind

Also at 3rd level, you learn how to provoke those the area around you by amplifying aggressive tendencies and inspiring forceful physical contact. As a Bonus Action, you may expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to select a number of humanoid targets who can hear you other than yourself up to your Charisma modifier (minimum one). These targets may immediately use their reaction to move up to half of their movement speed to within 5' of an enemy and make one unarmed attack or athletics ability check. This movement does not provoke opportunity attacks.

Deäthcøre

Also at 3rd level, you gain the ability to turn your weapon strokes into concussive blasts transmitted through the air. For one minute when you take the Attack action with your Signature Bardic Weapon, you may replace a weapon attack with a melee spell attack using your Charisma score instead of your Strength or Dexterity score. This spell attack may target creatures up to 20 feet away from you, and the attacks do thunder damage instead of their usual damage type. You may use this ability a number of times up to your Charisma modifier, and regain all spent uses on a long rest.

At 6th level, you may select one of the Brütäl Mäjesty, Shred Härder, or Døømcøver class features.

Brütäl Mäjesty

At 6th level, your awe-inspiring onstage personality carries a force of will that makes others want to serve you. As a bonus action, you cast Command, without expending a spell slot, and you manifest an intense domineering presence for 1 minute or until your concentration ends (as if you were concentrating on a spell). During this time, you can cast Command as a bonus action on each of your turns, without expending a spell slot.

Any creature charmed by you automatically fails its saving throw against the Command you cast with this feature.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

Shred Härder

Starting at 6th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn. Your weapon attacks count as magical for purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks and damage.

Døømcøver

At 6th level, you learn two spells of your choice from any class. A spell you choose must be of a level you can cast, as shown on the Bard table, or a cantrip. The chosen spells count as bard spells for you but don’t count against the number of bard spells you know.

Metälpøcälypse

At 14th level, your brutal legend warps the localized reality around you in dysphonic chaos audible to 300' away when you perform. Using your action to activate this feature, you create a 30-foot radius centered on yourself of acoustic pandemonium which requires concentration and lasts for 1 minute.

Half of the creatures within this field experience the effects of the Haste spell. The other half experience the effects of the Slow spell. When you activate this ability, select a number of creatures up to your Charisma modifier (minimum one). You may determine whether each target is under the haste or slow effect, but the number of hasted creatures within the field may not exceed the number of slowed creatures within the field. Creatures entering the field after activation have a 50% chance of being hasted or slowed, and the effects last until this ability ends.

When this ability ends, you can’t move or take actions until after your next turn, as a wave of exhaustion sweeps over you. Once you use this feature, you must finish a long rest before you can use it again.

Damon_Tor
2020-01-03, 11:43 PM
https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/851597681633461708/8BA40BEF12A9CB6DC9088297AA6F30D3E04F77AE/

I think if it were me I would skip shield proficiency and limit their weapon proficiency to a greataxe, which would explicitly become a musical instrument for the Bard and a focus for their spells.

MReav
2020-01-05, 09:13 PM
https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/851597681633461708/8BA40BEF12A9CB6DC9088297AA6F30D3E04F77AE/

I think if it were me I would skip shield proficiency and limit their weapon proficiency to a greataxe, which would explicitly become a musical instrument for the Bard and a focus for their spells.

Yeah, you should limit the proficiencies to axes and maybe other weapons that are nicknames for rock music instruments.

https://youtu.be/apbgshuBe6M

Ventruenox
2020-01-06, 12:12 PM
Thanks for the suggestions. That's exactly what I'm looking for.

MReav
2020-01-06, 12:57 PM
Escrima Sticks combines with a shield.

NotPrior
2020-01-10, 02:11 PM
Own comments in bold italics.


So I have a player who wants a homebrew subclass for my upcoming Spelljammer campaign, with a heavy metal feel. His goals were to inspire a mosh pit and to deal thunder damage with his attacks. I am blatantly stealing from other bardic colleges I have seen written up, but I am not going to publish this or use it anywhere but at my table, and I have modified the text of copyrighted content. I have a feeling that it is a bit overpowered, so I am looking for tweaks.

College of Metal

Bards are generally known for their witty ballads, harmonious madrigals, and fancy foppish hats. They wear charming smiles and will sweet talk their way to their heart's desire. Then there are those of a persuasion who considers these performers as lily-livered gutless worms. The world is BRUTAL, and sound and style demonstrated by these audacious artistes reflects that intensity. Don your spiked leather, face paint, and horned helmets; primal scream your power chords; this is Metal.

Metäl Träppings

When you choose this college at 3rd level, you gain proficiency with medium armor, battleaxes and greataxes. You are able to customize a melee weapon you are proficient with to double as a musical instrument, this serves as your Signature Bardic Weapon.

Neat. Sounds fun and flavourful, and lets you be a big strong metal man.

Deäthgrind

Also at 3rd level, you learn how to provoke those the area around you by amplifying aggressive tendencies and inspiring forceful physical contact. As a Bonus Action, choose a number of humanoids who can see and hear you within 60 feet of you, up to a number equal to your Charisma modifier. You may expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to allow these targets to immediately use their Reaction to move up to their movement to within a 20' square located within 60' of you and make one Unarmed Attack or Athletics Ability Check.

I could just be a cretinous fool but the wording used here makes no sense to me- I can't tell what this is even attempting to suggest. I can't clarify on what the problem is because it's all problem.

Deäthcøre

Also at 3rd level, you gain the ability to turn your weapon strokes into concussive blasts transmitted through the air. For one minute when you take the Attack action with your Signature Bardic Weapon, you may replace a weapon attack with a melee spell attack using your Charisma score instead of your Strength or Dexterity score. This spell attack may target creatures up to 20 feet away from you, and the attacks do thunder damage instead of their usual damage type. You may use this ability a number of times up to your Charisma modifier, and regain all spent uses on a long rest.

Sounds cool, heavy metal shockwaves. Have you considered phrasing this as being a cantrip you know for one minute? It might clear up the wording a little bit and could lead to some fun interactions.

At 6th level, you may select one of the Brütäl Mäjesty, Shred Härder, or Døømcøver class features.

Brütäl Mäjesty

At 6th level, your awe-inspiring onstage personality carries a force of will that makes others want to serve you. As a bonus action, you cast Command, without expending a spell slot, and you manifest an intense domineering presence for 1 minute or until your concentration ends (as if you were concentrating on a spell). During this time, you can cast Command as a bonus action on each of your turns, without expending a spell slot.

Any creature charmed by you automatically fails its saving throw against the Command you cast with this feature.

Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.

Once per long rest quick command, but requires you to set up the charms beforehand. Nice.

One thing to note, this does preclude concentrating on a spell I think, RAW. Is that intentional? Might help to be explicit if it does.

Shred Härder

Starting at 6th level, you can attack twice, instead of once, whenever you take the Attack action on your turn. Your weapon attacks count as magical for purpose of overcoming resistance and immunity to nonmagical attacks and damage.

Sounds good. Also makes your ranged options very strong with Deäthcøre.

Døømcøver

At 6th level, you learn two spells of your choice from any class. A spell you choose must be of a level you can cast, as shown on the Bard table, or a cantrip. The chosen spells count as bard spells for you but don’t count against the number of bard spells you know.

To clarify this means 2 free spells of level 3 or below which you cannot exchange (at least I think so due to the method of acquisition).

Metälpøcälypse

At 14th level, your brutal legend nice warps the localized reality around you in dysphonic chaos audible to 300' away. Using your action to activate this feature, you create a 30-foot cube centered on yourself of acoustic pandemonium which requires concentration and lasts for 1 minute.

Half of the creatures within this field experience the effects of the Haste spell. The other half experience the effects of the Slow spell. When you activate this ability, select a number of creatures up to your Charisma modifier. You may determine whether each target is under the haste or slow effect, but the number of hasted creatures within the field may not exceed the number of slowed creatures within the field. Creatures entering the field after activation have a 50% chance of being hasted or slowed, and the effects last until this ability ends.

When your solo ends, you can’t move or take actions until after your next turn, as a wave of exhaustion sweeps over you. Once you use this feature, you must finish a long rest before you can use it again.

What does "when your solo ends" mean? When the spell is cast or when the spell ends? Are you instantly incapacitated if you lose concentration, or only if it runs its full conclusion? Is "your solo" so under your control that you can play it endlessly? A barbarian can rage in their sleep so can you play for the next two hours until you reach safety?

Ventruenox
2020-01-10, 04:36 PM
I could just be a cretinous fool but the wording used here makes no sense to me- I can't tell what this is even attempting to suggest. I can't clarify on what the problem is because it's all problem.
I'll admit, this was a bit of a mess. My player wanted a way to inspire moshing (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moshing), and trying to put it in a confined area for a mosh pit was what I was aiming for. I started with the Glamour Bard's 3rd level ability and tacked on the unarmed attack or athletics ability check (push/grapple/climb/etc), and then designated an area to do it in. Perhaps too ambitious. I may reduce it to:

"You may expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration to select a number of targets other than yourself up to your Charisma modifier (minimum one). These targets may immediately use their reaction to move up to half of their movement speed to within 5' of an enemy and make one unarmed attack or athletics ability check. This movement does not provoke opportunity attacks."

Martials, monks and barbarians in particular, will benefit most from this ability. That's fine. The Bard's primary function is to help other PCs be awesome.

Sounds cool, heavy metal shockwaves. Have you considered phrasing this as being a cantrip you know for one minute? It might clear up the wording a little bit and could lead to some fun interactions.
I did consider this. I chose the terminology I did precisely for the possible interactions. What I like the most about this subclass is that it mirrors other classes and subclasses in a way that can branch it into martial, caster, or support paths. The wording here makes this ability applicable to any of those three. In power balance terms, it is somewhere in between a Hexblade blade pact and using the Shillelagh or Magic Stone cantrips. If my player wants to spend a feat for GWM, then he can and feel awesome for doing so. I can always scale up my baddies. The litmus test I use for "is it broken?" is to see if I can somehow apply it with sneak attack or Booming Blade. That is not possible here, but all sorts of other crazy stuff could be, and Inspiration to the player that makes something cool.


Once per long rest quick command, but requires you to set up the charms beforehand. Nice. ... One thing to note, this does preclude concentrating on a spell I think, RAW. Is that intentional? Might help to be explicit if it does. (snip) To clarify this means 2 free spells of level 3 or below which you cannot exchange (at least I think so due to the method of acquisition).
The level 6 abilities got a minor refluff, but they are the exact level 6 abilities of Glamour, Swords/Valor, and Lore Bards respectively. (With the addition of overcoming magical resistance, but by level 6, the players ought to be able to do that anyway.) The player picks one of those options depending on what style of Bard they want to focus on.


What does "when your solo ends" mean? When the spell is cast or when the spell ends? Are you instantly incapacitated if you lose concentration, or only if it runs its full conclusion? Is "your solo" so under your control that you can play it endlessly? A barbarian can rage in their sleep so can you play for the next two hours until you reach safety?
I effectively stole this ability from a published third party's Bardic College and changed it up a bit.

I know my player thrives on a bit of random outcomes, and I wanted to emulate that Brendon Small cartoon Damon_Tor shows above. There was no way I was going to try and put into game mechanic terminology "probability changes all around you to cause the most death and property destruction possible", but the use of quick cutaways and slow motion animation in the cartoon led me to this outcome.

The player will only be able to select up to 5 targets, including himself, within a fairly limited area. (I may want to change that to 30' radius instead of cube) This could result in party members, or the Bard himself, being slowed instead of hasted. Enemies will likely end up being hasted instead of slowed. Keeping the numbers even and granting only limited control to the player balances this ability. Breaking concentration from damage will also end this effect early and bring with it the side effects of Haste ending. The evil DM in me gets a thrill by being able to, in one round, transform players saying "I'm the king of the world!" into "Oh, ****."

The "solo" is the dysphonic chaos audible to 300' away, but that fluff isn't clear, so that is very helpful feedback. The duration is set for it to end after one minute, so maintaining concentration on it endlessly is not possible. As an aside, DMG pg 248 indicates sleeping should (doesn't have to, but should) give you the unconscious condition, so you can't concentrate or rage throughout the night (exception - 20th level barbarian of a race that does not require sleep). I've also never tried to go to sleep while blasting GWAR (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gwar), but I would imagine it to be difficult.