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Lord Lemming
2020-01-15, 07:36 PM
Players: Have you ever seen NPCs fall for, flirt with, or attempt to romance player characters?

DMs: Have you ever had any of your NPCs do this? For non-creepy reasons?

Everyone: As a DM, how terrible of an idea is it for me to do this? I'm not interested in any of my players that way, and I would only be doing this for the potential role-playing opportunities - and, knowing my players, the potential hilarity that is likely to ensue.

Koo Rehtorb
2020-01-15, 07:56 PM
that would depend on both you and your players

False God
2020-01-15, 08:41 PM
As a DM I've done it, usually in the following:
A: as an attempt to seduce the players to get them to do something.
B: as an attempt to create some kind of political alliance.
C: for sillyness.

How does it go? I dunno, pretty well. Some players play along. Some players get awkward. Some players refuse. I always try to make it tasteful, even when it's silly.

LordCdrMilitant
2020-01-15, 09:07 PM
Players: Have you ever seen NPCs fall for, flirt with, or attempt to romance player characters?

DMs: Have you ever had any of your NPCs do this? For non-creepy reasons?

Everyone: As a DM, how terrible of an idea is it for me to do this? I'm not interested in any of my players that way, and I would only be doing this for the potential role-playing opportunities - and, knowing my players, the potential hilarity that is likely to ensue.

Uhh...

Yes.
No.
If you have to ask the internet for validation, then the answer is "Definitely Terrible".

Lord Lemming
2020-01-15, 09:34 PM
Uhh...

Yes.
No.
If you have to ask the internet for validation, then the answer is "Definitely Terrible".

Not asking for validation, but to get opinions. I've grown out of the habit of asking people what their opinion on something is until someone gives me the answer I want. Now I just assume that whatever answer I like the least is most probably the right one...

Anyways, thanks for your input. :smallsmile:

King of Nowhere
2020-01-15, 10:28 PM
it really depends on your gaming party.
some people get creeped off. some people find it fun.
that's why internet advice has to be taken with a grain of salt.

personally i had an npc make avances on the party. it was mostly played for fun. she was a narcissist who fancied herself more important than she is, the party was super-important by that time, and she considered that becoming a lover (or even just occasional adventure) of some party members would increase her worth. I mean, when someone assassinated her with expensive poison, she was actually flattered that someone may think her so important to spend so many resources on it. Her last words were on the line of "this is so cool". she was sure that she'd be raised, but it'd still cost her a level
she was also a skilled spy specialized in seducing people and getting information (or plot items) out of them in bed, so the party understandaly declined.

it was played for laugh, and it reached its intended effect. the fact that this npc would have genuinely acted like that also factored in.

Psyren
2020-01-16, 12:00 AM
Yes, if only so that I can disguise the inevitable succubi and vampires doing the same thing in disguise.

Grek
2020-01-16, 12:40 AM
I did it, but only because we were doing a magic school thing and we were doing a school dance thing and the other players paired off, so I generated NPCs to give the odd player out an excuse to attend. (Also because having players get hit on by the literally invisible kid is funny.)

Satinavian
2020-01-16, 01:28 AM
I have experienced it as player and done it as DM. Never was a problem.

Overall it is still a somewhat rare thing that happens maybe once in a dozen sessions. And of course not every PC is actually open to start a romantic relationship or a small love affair. Or is interested in this particular NPCs. So often it doesn't lead anywhere, but sometimes it does.

Kaptin Keen
2020-01-16, 02:24 AM
Hmm ... sex and seduction are not the same thing. At least, one can be done fully clothed.

As a GM, I don't think I've ever used seduction except as a trap. It has only ever resulted in betrayal and ambush.

As a player, in suitable games, I've used sex and seduction enough to make my GM's blush.

Then, there is of course the third option - simply informing the table that 'if nothing else happens at the Green Dragon Inn that night, Borgrim will do his utmost the charm the prettiest young lady he can find.' But that barely counts - right?

LordCdrMilitant
2020-01-16, 03:28 AM
Not asking for validation, but to get opinions. I've grown out of the habit of asking people what their opinion on something is until someone gives me the answer I want. Now I just assume that whatever answer I like the least is most probably the right one...

Anyways, thanks for your input. :smallsmile:

In that case...

I still think it's bad for the NPC's to pursue the characters unprompted. It just seems kind of creepy.

That said, I don't have a problem with the player characters pursuing NPC's, on their own initiative, because it was the player's choice to introduce a romantic scenario.

M@XWeru
2020-01-16, 04:00 AM
I have done it in the past, but I'd only do it with players I know very well. Ultimately, it's a matter of whether your players feel that they can trust you with this sort of thing - whether something is creepy or acceptable usually has more to do with context and presentation, rather than the basic concept. How well do you know your players? How well do your players know you? Those are questions only you can answer.

Chaos Jackal
2020-01-16, 07:36 AM
Well, I guess it depends on the table, but I've never had issue personally.

I DM rarely, and have never set an NPC on a player in a romantic manner. But I wouldn't have a problem to do so. I just never had a situation which I believed dictated that.

But as a player, I've had at least two of my characters being hit on (and they ultimately responded), and one more where it was basically mutual in-game attraction. And I've seen quite a few of my fellow players get the romantic attention of an NPC. That's been the case in a number of tables, each with different people. We're rolling with the punches (or kisses, for that matter).

Romantic relationships are a normal part of a person's life, why wouldn't they be part of an NPC's?

Can it get awkward? Probably, though I've never felt like that. I am not my character. The NPC isn't the DM. And I don't have an issue playing pretend flirt. We are playing pretend murder, deception and cheesy heroism half the time, I figure that's worse. So we have our romantic interaction(s), and have a laugh when the performance/dexterity/fortitude check is a 3.

It's ultimately a know your players matter. But in my experience it's neither uncommon nor all that embarassing. Just remember that it's a game.

DigoDragon
2020-01-16, 08:57 AM
It really comes down to asking your players if they're ok with it. I've had an NPC flirt with a PC and it became an enduring, happy relationship over many sessions of the campaign. But I worked out questions with the PC ahead of time to be sure he'd be alright with it and what lines he didn't want to cross.

Always ask your players. Once you know their preference, then it's easy to work with them on a great romance story.

CombatBunny
2020-01-16, 09:47 AM
Romance is part of life, so I don’t see anything wrong with portraying it on the table.

As a GM, I don’t plan romances (unless it is a trap or the NPC has double intentions as others have mentioned), I try to handle them in a natural way. Knowing your NPCs motivations and being in their skin will show you if certain NPC would feel attracted to a party member or if certain actions would trigger its interest.

As a recommendation, don’t push the players. Let them know that a NPC has a crush on them, but if they reject it don’t turn the NPC into a harasser.

And the same goes for PCs who want to advance with NPCs. In trying to be impartial I let them roll a couple of times to see if they are corresponded (with bonus and penalties depending on the situation and the personality of the NPC). If they fail then it’s over, they have no chance with the NCP, although if a considerable length of time passes, I could let them roll again.

Lord Lemming
2020-01-16, 09:49 AM
it really depends on your gaming party.
some people get creeped off. some people find it fun.
that's why internet advice has to be taken with a grain of salt.

personally i had an npc make avances on the party. it was mostly played for fun. she was a narcissist who fancied herself more important than she is, the party was super-important by that time, and she considered that becoming a lover (or even just occasional adventure) of some party members would increase her worth. I mean, when someone assassinated her with expensive poison, she was actually flattered that someone may think her so important to spend so many resources on it. Her last words were on the line of "this is so cool". she was sure that she'd be raised, but it'd still cost her a level
she was also a skilled spy specialized in seducing people and getting information (or plot items) out of them in bed, so the party understandaly declined.

it was played for laugh, and it reached its intended effect. the fact that this npc would have genuinely acted like that also factored in.

:smallbiggrin: Yeah, this is about the kind of scenario I was envisioning.


In that case...

I still think it's bad for the NPC's to pursue the characters unprompted. It just seems kind of creepy.

That said, I don't have a problem with the player characters pursuing NPC's, on their own initiative, because it was the player's choice to introduce a romantic scenario.

This makes sense. I can very easily see how it would make someone uncomfortable, especially since in this game they don't really know what the rules or the limits are. There's something of a power dynamic that the DM has over the table, and the idea that the DM might push something that no one is comfortable with could leave people walking on eggshells.


It really comes down to asking your players if they're ok with it. I've had an NPC flirt with a PC and it became an enduring, happy relationship over many sessions of the campaign. But I worked out questions with the PC ahead of time to be sure he'd be alright with it and what lines he didn't want to cross.

Always ask your players. Once you know their preference, then it's easy to work with them on a great romance story.

This also makes sense, and kinda fits with LordCdrMilitant's take on the subject. As long as the player has 'yea' or 'nay' say on whether or not cheesy romance is attempted, the potential for harm seems limited.

Slipperychicken
2020-01-16, 10:10 AM
It's fine. If you aren't sure whether your players will be okay with it, just ask them about it.

Personally I don't have a whole lot of interest in romance subplots, but it's not particularly bad or anything. Usually it just goes right over my head anyway. I've had sessions where I only realized an NPC was trying to flirt weeks later OOC. But if a GM explicitly tells me he wants to do a romance thing as a quest motivation (think Lancelot rescuing Guinevere from Maleagant) I'm down for it.

Cygnia
2020-01-16, 11:11 AM
Fade to black is your friend

Jay R
2020-01-16, 12:50 PM
Don’t make the mistake of thinking this issue is primarily about sex or romance. It’s easier to see the way out of you treat it as just a specific example of a general issue: what to do if a player is uncomfortable?

If you are doing something that makes a player uncomfortable, stop doing it.

I once put the minis for giant spiders on the table, and saw in one player’s face that she was extremely afraid of spiders. What was intended to be a major encounter instantly became the wimpiest spiders ever. They each died on one hit, and were off the table in less than two minutes.

I didn’t mention the problem at the table, which would only have made it worse for her.

Similarly, if any action you start as DM makes the player uncomfortable, send the NPC away and don’t do it again. And if you are reasonably empathetic, or if you know your friends, you should be able to tell that it makes them uncomfortable soon enough to not cause a big problem.

Lord Lemming
2020-01-16, 01:21 PM
Don’t make the mistake of thinking this issue is primarily about sex or romance. It’s easier to see the way out of you treat it as just a specific example of a general issue: what to do if a player is uncomfortable?

If you are doing something that makes a player uncomfortable, stop doing it.

I once put the minis for giant spiders on the table, and saw in one player’s face that she was extremely afraid of spiders. What was intended to be a major encounter instantly became the wimpiest spiders ever. They each died on one hit, and were off the table in less than two minutes.

I didn’t mention the problem at the table, which would only have made it worse for her.

Similarly, if any action you start as DM makes the player uncomfortable, send the NPC away and don’t do it again. And if you are reasonably empathetic, or if you know your friends, you should be able to tell that it makes them uncomfortable soon enough to not cause a big problem.

This makes sense, and I think it hits on the core of the issue I was thinking about.

Segev
2020-01-16, 01:38 PM
There's a character in my Exalted game who has Enchanting Features and a maxed-out Appearance and is a social build with everything turned up as high as it can go. She has a LOT of suitors, would-be suitors, and other NPCs who are more than mildly interested in at least attempting to catch her romantic interest. It's mostly light flirting and (not so) subtle signs that they're infatuated, unless the charcter IS a creep, in which case, well, the descriptive text makes sure to get that across. (Using words like "leer" and talking about how he wiggles his eyebrows, for example.)

As a player, I had a character who developed an unrequited crush on another PC, because he's big into knowing stuff and adventurously pursues new things, and she was a mysterious young woman who knew a lot of neat things and shared certain interests of his, and they worked well together and had fun. He wasn't subtle about it, hanging on her words and looking in her direction when it was reasonable to do so, seeking to spend time with her, etc., but he wasn't doing the "I'm in love and I know it" shenanigans of a teenaged male: he wasn't avoiding her gaze, or blushing when he saw her (unless, you know, blushing is appropriate just based on circumstances), or stuttering nervously, or doing outrageous things to try to impress her. He wasn't asking her on dates or the like, either.

So the rest of the party thought he was crushing, and crushing hard, but was oblivious to it.

This led to my favorite conversation in an RPG that I've been in to date.

The girl sat my character down on the couch, and worked herself up into telling him, "You seem to have a crush on me." The other PCs were one room over, watching from hiding, and everyone was braced for denials, bluster, flushing, etc.

Instead, my character said, "I know. I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're awesome."

After she did the mental equivalent of catching herself taking one more step than there is on the staircase, she braced herself for the next bombshell and his likely heartbroken reaction. "And I'm gay."

"I know. It's kind-of obvious. Doesn't change how I feel about you. It's why I haven't asked you out, though. Unless you want to give it a try?"

She turned him down, once again shocked by his non-emotional reaction. He gave a wistful sigh and agreed, and they stayed friends.

He would have loved to figure out a way to get her interested in him, but he knew it was highly unlikely. (If magical sex-changing were on the table, he might've tried it, but he wouldn't have been sure it was something he'd want to stick with. But trying it out would be a new experience, which would be fun!)


Anyway, playing romance at the table is mostly a matter of determining what the players are comfortable with, and what the nature of the romantic interest really is. WHY is the NPC falling for the PC? This should stem from both the NPC's nature and from the PC, and why the PC appeals to the NPC. And how the NPC pursues it.

Telonius
2020-01-16, 02:49 PM
A few campaigns ago, I was playing a middle-age Shifter. His character was that one shady uncle everybody seems to have; always into some probably-technically-legal scheme. Very high opinion of himself, assumed that everybody was into him, so he was a horrible flirt. The DM used this to his advantage a few times, dropping plot hooks instead of romance with lots of jokes at my character's expense. (I was 100% in favor of the jokes). But eventually we were in a situation without a plot hook. He was chatting up the barmaid, and meeting with some success. I keep RPing, waiting for the shoe to drop - she turns into a Hag, or reveals that she's a spy, or some other ridiculous thing. So I'm adjusting my bowtie, describing heading up the stairs, the whole nine yards. Eventually the DM's face is totally beet-red, and says, "Okay, I'm really not comfortable describing that any more." Me: "What? You mean - fer God's sakes, [DM], the last six times were plot hooks!" The rest of the table was rolling on the ground laughing about it. He thinks on it a second. "... oh. I guess they were..." and joins in the laughing. He really hadn't realized that he'd been doing that until right then.

Segev
2020-01-16, 03:38 PM
A few campaigns ago, I was playing a middle-age Shifter. His character was that one shady uncle everybody seems to have; always into some probably-technically-legal scheme. Very high opinion of himself, assumed that everybody was into him, so he was a horrible flirt. The DM used this to his advantage a few times, dropping plot hooks instead of romance with lots of jokes at my character's expense. (I was 100% in favor of the jokes). But eventually we were in a situation without a plot hook. He was chatting up the barmaid, and meeting with some success. I keep RPing, waiting for the shoe to drop - she turns into a Hag, or reveals that she's a spy, or some other ridiculous thing. So I'm adjusting my bowtie, describing heading up the stairs, the whole nine yards. Eventually the DM's face is totally beet-red, and says, "Okay, I'm really not comfortable describing that any more." Me: "What? You mean - fer God's sakes, [DM], the last six times were plot hooks!" The rest of the table was rolling on the ground laughing about it. He thinks on it a second. "... oh. I guess they were..." and joins in the laughing. He really hadn't realized that he'd been doing that until right then.

Tell me he ruined the next morning by telling the girl, when they woke up, "I'm glad you didn't turn out to be a hag."

:smallbiggrin:

Slipperychicken
2020-01-16, 04:05 PM
I once put the minis for giant spiders on the table, and saw in one player’s face that she was extremely afraid of spiders. What was intended to be a major encounter instantly became the wimpiest spiders ever. They each died on one hit, and were off the table in less than two minutes.

I didn’t mention the problem at the table, which would only have made it worse for her.

Agree, and also a side-note to this: They also make sheets and surveys nowadays were players can check off or write-in content that they don't want to deal with in games. Then a GM can just look them over every now and again to be sure he isn't going to accidentally re-traumatize his players. Especially with something unintuitive like a recovering alcoholic player who will have a rough time with elaborate descriptions of drink.

They can be handy when setting up games with strangers. So if applicant Ron doesn't feel like being triggered by spiders in-game, he can mark that down, and you can make any adjustments needed. Which could mean anything from 'well I guess I'll change that spider fight' to 'umm this campaign is all about spiders, so maybe Ron is better off sitting this one out'.

This is one example of what I'm talking about.

https://i.redd.it/zr4kr9hexsm31.jpg

Lord Lemming
2020-01-16, 04:47 PM
Agree, and also a side-note to this: They also make sheets and surveys nowadays were players can check off or write-in content that they don't want to deal with in games. Then a GM can just look them over every now and again to be sure he isn't going to accidentally re-traumatize his players. Especially with something unintuitive like a recovering alcoholic player who will have a rough time with elaborate descriptions of drink.

They can be handy when setting up games with strangers. So if applicant Ron doesn't feel like being triggered by spiders in-game, he can mark that down, and you can make any adjustments needed. Which could mean anything from 'well I guess I'll change that spider fight' to 'umm this campaign is all about spiders, so maybe Ron is better off sitting this one out'.

This is one example of what I'm talking about.

https://i.redd.it/zr4kr9hexsm31.jpg

...Huh, I had no idea this was a thing. I don't think it'll be necessary with my particular group, but I think I'll hold onto this.

Quertus
2020-01-16, 05:09 PM
If you are doing something that makes a player uncomfortable, stop doing it.

I once put the minis for giant spiders on the table, and saw in one player’s face that she was extremely afraid of spiders. What was intended to be a major encounter instantly became the wimpiest spiders ever. They each died on one hit, and were off the table in less than two minutes.

I didn’t mention the problem at the table, which would only have made it worse for her.

It was YOU!

I'm too senile to remember how I learned this very important lesson, but I loved your story, and can remember it, and use it as my goto example whenever this comes up.

I hope you don't mind. :smallredface:

But, yeah, I completely agree with your sentiment here.


As a player, I had a character who developed an unrequited crush on another PC, because he's big into knowing stuff and adventurously pursues new things, and she was a mysterious young woman who knew a lot of neat things and shared certain interests of his, and they worked well together and had fun. He wasn't subtle about it, hanging on her words and looking in her direction when it was reasonable to do so, seeking to spend time with her, etc., but he wasn't doing the "I'm in love and I know it" shenanigans of a teenaged male: he wasn't avoiding her gaze, or blushing when he saw her (unless, you know, blushing is appropriate just based on circumstances), or stuttering nervously, or doing outrageous things to try to impress her. He wasn't asking her on dates or the like, either.

So the rest of the party thought he was crushing, and crushing hard, but was oblivious to it.

This led to my favorite conversation in an RPG that I've been in to date.

The girl sat my character down on the couch, and worked herself up into telling him, "You seem to have a crush on me." The other PCs were one room over, watching from hiding, and everyone was braced for denials, bluster, flushing, etc.

Instead, my character said, "I know. I'm sorry, I can't help it. You're awesome."

After she did the mental equivalent of catching herself taking one more step than there is on the staircase, she braced herself for the next bombshell and his likely heartbroken reaction. "And I'm gay."

"I know. It's kind-of obvious. Doesn't change how I feel about you. It's why I haven't asked you out, though. Unless you want to give it a try?"

She turned him down, once again shocked by his non-emotional reaction. He gave a wistful sigh and agreed, and they stayed friends.

He would have loved to figure out a way to get her interested in him, but he knew it was highly unlikely. (If magical sex-changing were on the table, he might've tried it, but he wouldn't have been sure it was something he'd want to stick with. But trying it out would be a new experience, which would be fun!)

That sounds awesome! I don't have such a cool story, but I know exactly how you feel. That's also the type of thing I aim for in RPGs.

DigoDragon
2020-01-17, 07:43 AM
And the same goes for PCs who want to advance with NPCs. In trying to be impartial I let them roll a couple of times to see if they are corresponded (with bonus and penalties depending on the situation and the personality of the NPC). If they fail then it’s over, they have no chance with the NCP, although if a considerable length of time passes, I could let them roll again.

Does buying them dinner grant Advantage? ;)

Slipperychicken
2020-01-17, 10:01 AM
Does buying them dinner grant Advantage? ;)

Only if you spend at least (target's hit dice) x 100gp on it

zinycor
2020-01-17, 01:18 PM
On this the most important would be to have the player buy into the idea. Even better if it was their idea to begin with. Otherwise, I don't think it would work or even be fun.

Chauncymancer
2020-01-17, 02:18 PM
Yes, if only so that I can disguise the inevitable succubi and vampires doing the same thing in disguise.

Once one of my players made the observation (I consumed a lot of noir at the time) that any NPC flirting with a party member should be immediately shot dead, as they were inevitably either the monster of the week or one of the villains.

Themrys
2020-01-17, 07:06 PM
Players: Have you ever seen NPCs fall for, flirt with, or attempt to romance player characters?

DMs: Have you ever had any of your NPCs do this? For non-creepy reasons?

Everyone: As a DM, how terrible of an idea is it for me to do this? I'm not interested in any of my players that way, and I would only be doing this for the potential role-playing opportunities - and, knowing my players, the potential hilarity that is likely to ensue.

Make sure none of your players is interested in you that way. (One time, I hit on an NPC, not aware that the DM was interested in me and took that as confirmation that I was interested in him, too. I wasn't.)

Also, ask, because that's the polite thing to do.

And do it in a tasteful way. But if you really don't want to hit on any of the players, you probably don't have any motivation to be distasteful about it.


If you just want comedy, you could introduce the whole thing via a third party. I had a female DM do a "there's this woman who is very impressed by how strong and capable you are, and she is very insistent that you should meet her son" thing. It was a lot funnier than it would have been with the guy himself being an annoying admirer, as it was clear there was no threat of assault, just annoyingness. (At least I think it was meant to be annoying ... but I was bored at the time and decided to ask some questions about this guy and the proposed match.)

Jay R
2020-01-18, 03:49 AM
It was YOU!

I'm too senile to remember how I learned this very important lesson, but I loved your story, and can remember it, and use it as my goto example whenever this comes up.

I hope you don't mind. :smallredface:

I don’t mind at all. I can keep my words private. Or I can post them to the Internet. I was never naive enough to believe I could do both at once.

DigoDragon
2020-01-20, 07:49 PM
Once one of my players made the observation (I consumed a lot of noir at the time) that any NPC flirting with a party member should be immediately shot dead, as they were inevitably either the monster of the week or one of the villains.

Dang. And here I was thinking that I would like to have the experience of an NPC flirt with a PC of mine. So many dangers of being an adventurer. XD

As a GM the only time I did the above flirt where the NPC was a monster of the week, I made it rather obvious to avoid leading the player into the wrong idea. He was fine with it, mostly cause he got to use some acting skills to pretend to be into the NPC, just long enough to cleave the NPC in twain when they got close up.

AMFV
2020-01-22, 09:53 PM
To be fair, at least with current cultural conventions in gaming. Spiders are an example of something that I don't think you should have to warn your players about beforehand unless you were already aware that it was a problem, and would be something to deal with in the same way Jay did in his game, resolve it quickly and file it away for further reference.

Romance however... it's far more common to have a bunch of negative stuff around romantic stuff than it is to have arachnophobia. Also there's a much greater likelihood that the characters and the players will be more intertwined in that respect. I think that this is definitely an ask-first and tread lightly area.

farothel
2020-01-23, 01:15 PM
It depends a lot on your group. We have a group that has played together for more than 10 years (and which includes two couples), so we know how far we can go without really having to ask. It also depends on the game you're playing. If you're playing Scion and you have a Scion of Aphrodite as NPC or in the group, it's kinda Obvious flirting (and probably more) is going to happen. Of course, you don't have to be graphic in your description. As said before, the fade to black is quite useful.

We even had two PCs have sex in-game before and one of the PCs in our L5R group has a Cersei-Jamie Lannister type of background. And we have a player who almost Always takes the local version of the good looks perk (and uses them). It's no big deal in our group.

Reversefigure4
2020-01-26, 05:35 PM
It's been a long time since I had a campaign that didn't have a wedding in there somewhere. Players would actively become upset if there wasn't NPC to PC romance, or at least the possibility of it. Some players love it, some players hate it. I've had a player who actively enjoys sleazy guys badly hitting on, belittling, and refusing to take no for an answer with her characters, as long as there's an assumption that either immediately or later on in the campaign she gets to deliver them their comeuppance.

Guizonde
2020-01-26, 07:21 PM
i had a dm roleplay my character's loving wife and teammate (i played a tribe of arms-merchant rabbits), along with his 200 offspring. worked well, especially since the dm and i loved creeping out the rest of the table by calling each other pet names in stereotypical german accents.

my pf dm made sure EVERY SINGLE barmaid/server/hostess hit on my half-drow inquisitor. the more it happened the more i sank into my seat due to the awkwardness until i just accepted that my inquisitor was just that charismatic. at first, it was because i recoiled, so my dm teased me with it, then it became a running gag, then eventually i one-upped him by buying out a restaurant that way. i will say for the record: getting hit on by a duergar and licked by a frog person in the span of 5 minutes is bloody weird.

as a dm, i've had npc's flirt playfully with characters. on two occasions where the players felt flattered and reciprocated, one evolved into a tender lovestory between the pc's fighter and an npc inkmaker (yup, complete with a happily ever after epilogue, because i'm that corny), and another was a fade to black. to wit, and here are the facts i the dm and the two pc's involved, know: female npc is impressed by male npc's shooting. female pc and female npc propose to celebrate with drinks. male pc is too shy to refuse. they start drinking and carousing until a fade to black. they wake up, female npc is sleeping on a desk wearing a sombrero, female pc is sleeping on a stack of file cabinets, and male pc is sleeping hanging from a coat rack. i refuse to think about what happened, and both pc's agree it's much funnier if they never explain or elaborate on what the hell happened that night between their characters. but, they roleplayed it to the hilt. after that black-out, their pc's became great teammates, developping synergies i hadn't thought of. they also invented a toast that involved balloon animals, for comedy purposes i hope.

as you can see, i tend to be very evasive with the details first and foremost because i don't want to force relationships onto players. in general, i'll have a private word with the player mid-session on how they want to proceed, but away from the rest of the group. i've toyed around with the idea of a flirtatious npc who wants a better tip, but i've seen how it plays out with my pf inquisitor above... it's very hard to rp a waitress flirting for a better tip, so i've so far avoided it. could be credible, but the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

CombatBunny
2020-01-27, 02:56 PM
Yesterday I GMed a story where the PCs are guiding a group of apocalypse survivors to somewhere safe, pretty much like Moises guiding the Israelites (they are all anthropomorphic animals BTW).

There is a mouse lady called Carmine who lost her husband and now oversees her beloved children. I didn’t plan any romance, but looking at her background made me realize that it was natural that she would try to take the opportunity to find a new father for her kin, and who could be more suitable than the leader of the caravan which is a PC?

So, she has begun flirting with this PC. I rather not to use any dice and let the player decide with RP if he accepts or not to correspond her, that way is the player who can set whether he feels comfortable with the situation or not.

So far, he hasn’t corresponded her, mostly because the PC knows that Carmine’s husband is now a vengeful spirit that is following the caravan’s progression and the PC is aware that taking Carmine as a mate will enrage this demon.

To sums things up, the PC was rather clumsy rejecting her and so she was left rather confused and intrigued. My future plans are that this NCP hasn’t resigned just yet and will try to approach him once again, but if the PC clearly rejects her again, she will retreat to the background, just letting him know occasionally that if he approaches Carmine, she is still interested. Unless things happen in game that let this particular NPC lose interest.

That's mostly how I develop romance in the games I GM. I don't plan romance, I just review my NPC backgrounds and let the PC know the NPC intentions, then is up to the player to decide if she/he desires to feed that thread.

Knaight
2020-02-22, 06:00 AM
I'm not sure I've ever had a romance start in a game. I have run and played scenes involving romantic relationships that were already there, and it's not been awkward. In one case two of these romantic scenes were the backdrop to some of the best roleplaying I've ever seen, and also some top notch dramatic irony (two characters with unrelated relationships, one of which really needed to end, talking about the value of sticking through when times are hard, giving advice good for their own situation but exactly wrong for the other).

That said, my group is chill with romance, and there are other factors here. The two involved in dramatic irony were both pregens with relationships spelled out, which both means that players could steer clear of them and that any risk of in character romance being interpreted as out of character flirting* was removed by the same character selection process. The other example I can think of involved a Fiasco playset creating a romantic entanglement in character generation, which naturally went to hell with a terrible betrayal because that's how Fiasco rolls.

*Not that there was any.

Skydow
2020-02-28, 03:36 PM
As a DM I've done it, usually in the following:
A: as an attempt to seduce the players to get them to do something.
B: as an attempt to create some kind of political alliance.
C: for sillyness.

How does it go? I dunno, pretty well. Some players play along. Some players get awkward. Some players refuse. I always try to make it tasteful, even when it's silly.

This is pretty much my experience with it! When it really comes down to it, it's just another topic that may be checked off as "Something a player's uncomfortable with" at session 0. I tend to roleplay with people I know very well, though, which is why nobody minds it in any manner.