[Setting] Joprus

[XiaoTie]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/title.png


Table of Contents

Chapter I: Introduction to Joprus

Overview
Chapter II: Joprus through D&D’s eyes

Races Languages Deities Levels, skills and feats Classes Items Regarding Hit Points
Chapter III: The Kingdoms and their geography

Historic overview Yasir Lacsiter Drachenländer Gyasi Other regions
Chapter IV: Time in Joprus

Years and Seasons Chronology of the Dawn Era



I
Introduction to Joprus

Overview
__Joprus is a setting on which the humans control most of the lands, and greatly outnumber the other races. Magic is, so far, inexistent (or rather unknown to the entire population). This means that the spellcaster classes, magical illusions (such as those produced by bardic songs) and magical items do not exist within Joprus. Although there are some tales of “miracles” happening through the hands of divine priests and warriors, such as healing ones wounds. There are, however, a few NPC’s who are able to brew healing potions through sheer alchemy.

__This Medieval-Fantasy setting inclines itself to a more medieval (lesser feudal) feeling, where the fantasy gender is, thus far, determined by the existence of quite a few beasts and other humanoid races; Elves, Dwarves, Orcs, Hoferis (a humanized form of the common Ogres, similar to what would be a Neanderthal). There are, however, more common beasts and other races (Kobolds, Goblins and Lizardfolk) lurking deep within the caves below the Spear Wall and the Glistering Mounts, as there are others in the island at the eastern coast of Yasir. Rumors tell about reports from Gyasi sailing-traders of a strange land further south where magic is common and more powerful beasts reside.


II
Joprus through D&D’s eyes

Races
__Players can only choose between Human and Dwarf to be their races. Elves and Hoferis are completely unknown by the human race, although the eldest among the dwarves know about the existence of elves (and the elves being well aware of the existence of the Hoferis) they will not reveal nor pass this knowledge to Humans, and mostly, not even to their children.

__As far as the gameplay goes Humans on Joprus have the same traits that they are told to have on the Player’s Handbook 3.5. The dwarves and elves, however, have their maximum lifespan doubled (the same happens with their, Middle, Old and Venerable ages, but not with their Adulthood). Elves are also taller than their PHB 3.5 counterparts, quite similar (if not identical) to Tolkien’s elves.


Languages
__Nine is the number of the total amount of languages that are spoken within Joprus: Hagish on Yasir, the northernmost kingdom; Lacsian on Lacsiter, the largest kingdom; Drachan on Drachenländer, the westernmost kingdom; Gyes on Gyasi, the southernmost kingdom; Dwarvish on both dwarven kingdoms; Elvish on the elven lands beyond the Green Wall; Orcish on the Ogre Lands; Barak on the hoferin villages east of the Emerald Skies (Forest of Doom); and Common, the language that was first devised by humans to trade with dwarves.

__You start with only your kingdom’s language and the Common language. There is a slight modification as far as bonus languages goes. On the table bellow you can see how many points of INT mod one must ‘spend’ to gain the bonus language. If the bonus language is to be acquired through the specific skill, one must ‘spend’ the skill points according to the numbers between parentheses:

Table: Languages
{table=head][]|Gyes|Lacsian|Hagish|Drachan|Dwarvish

Gysun|[ ]|1(2)|3(6)|1(2)|3(6)
Lacsitan|1(2)|[ ]|1(2)|1(2)|2(4)
Yasirin|3(6)|1(2)|[ ]|2(4)|1(2)
Dracin|1(2)|1(2)|2(4)|[ ]|3(6)
Dwarf|3(6)|2(4)|1(2)|3(6)|[ ][/table]


Deities
__Humans mostly (on Lacsiter, Drachenländer and Yasir) worship the deity called Ahir (treated as Pelor on gameplay issues), whose nemesis is Nuhan (treated as Wee Jas on gameplay issues); other deities from the PHB 3.5 are worshiped throughout the kingdoms (especially Yondalla, Obad-Hai and Corellon Laretian on Gyasi), but their followers keep their faith secret (except on Gyasi). To humans Kord is not a deity, but a messenger (saint) of Ahir; likewise, Nerul is feared as the death-bringer, messenger of Nuhan.

__Most of the dwarves (like those described on the PHB 3.5) worship Moradin, another popular deity among them is Kord.


Levels, skills and feats
__Joprus is not only a [very] low-magic setting, it is also a somewhat low-powered setting when compared to other settings (not talking about Forgotten Realms, every setting is low-powered when compared to Forgotten Realms). To this point, the most powerful human alive known is Queen Yoshiko of Yasir (/Knight 8 / Paladin 2 / Legendary Leader 4).

__Besides the previously mentioned change in the Speak Language Skill, Skills don’t change much on Joprus, only the ‘obvious’ changes one can expect on a [very] low-magic setting: Use Magic Device, Knowledge (Arcana), Knowledge (The Planes), and others skills related to magic don’t exist; the same happens to feats, all those related to spellcasting do not exist on Joprus.

__The Alchemy skill also undergoes some changes that are noted below.
Alchemy can only be used by players if they have the following skills and ranks:


Profession (Alchemist), 4 Ranks Craft (Alchemy: General*. Apothecary¹. Toxins².), 6 Ranks. *General: Creates items such as Alchemist’s Fire, Tanglefoot Bag, Acid and Dyes. ¹Apothecary: Used to create healing potions (and other potions on the future). ²Toxins: With this specialization the character is able to create poisons (Complete Scoundrel page 112) and the appropriate antitoxin for each of those poisons.

Your character would need to have less than 6 (4) for an extra of those if he already has one on 6, making it 2 ranks less for each skill he already has. Example:


Your character has Craft (General Alchemy) 6 and wants to be able to also create poisons; He would only need to have Craft (Toxin Alchemy) 4 to be able to create poisons. But that is not enough for him; he also wants to create potions. In this case, since he already has Craft (General Alc.) and Craft (Toxin Alc.), he would only need to have 2 ranks Craft (Apothecary Alc).

Basic Materials required when creating alchemic substances items:

Special glass vial (10 gp per 5 oz vial): This vial is capable of holding the alchemical substances without any loss on its effect due to time; required for every alchemic substance.
Alchemist’s Book (80 gp): The book contains every formula known by the character [he gains +2 circumstance bonus on Craft when using the book], without this book the character has a penalty of -5 on the crafting DC of the potions he tries to create. The book contains enough pages for 10 formulas. Required for every alchemic substance.
Reactives (10 gp per 1 oz vial): Every alchemic item requires some amount of Reactives; they are used to enhance the power of the herbs and other substances that would otherwise have no alchemical effect. Required for every alchemic substance.
Random components: This represents the components that are only obtained on alchemic stores, and their price varies according to the item being made. Required for Potions only.
Alchemist Lab (500 gp): Works the same way that the one described on the book. Every alchemist lab contains: 20 Special glass vials; 20 Reactives 1 oz vials, and every other item described in the PHB; required for every alchemic substance.

The basics of “How to prepare potions”:
The basics of how to prepare: You first grind all the herbs with the herbal part of the Random components. On another bowl, you mix the Reactives with the liquid Random components. You mix the liquid part and the herbal part. With this final mixture, you put it on the Special glass vial and leave the mixture reacting for a few hours.

Formulas and their specific materials:

Potion of Cure light wounds’ Formula:

Special glass vial (x1) Reactives 1 oz (x2) Dwatan herb 6 oz: 5 gp per oz. Random components: The random components of this potion cost 10 gp. Total Cost: 70 gp Selling Price: 100 gp DC: 17

Potion of Lesser vigor’s Formula:

Special glass vial (x1) Reactives 1 oz (x3) Golden balm herb 6 oz: 7 gp per oz. Random components: The random components of this potion cost 48 gp. Total Cost: 130 gp Selling Price: 190 gp DC: 23

Potion of Cure moderate wounds’ Formula:

Special glass vial (x1) Reactives 1 oz (x6) Belladonna herb 6 oz: 9 gp per oz. Random components: The random components of this potion cost 86 gp. Total Cost: 210 gp Selling Price: 380 gp DC: 25

Potion of Cure serious wounds’ Formula:

Special glass vial (x1) Reactives 1 oz (x8) Blackthorn herb 6 oz: 10 gp per oz. Random components: The random components of this potion cost 390 gp. Total Cost: 540 gp Selling Price: 840 gp DC: 27 Only NPCs


Classes
__All spellcasting classes and all classes (including Prestige Classes) with spell progression do not exist on Joprus as of now. Rangers and Paladins use the non-spellcasting variants from the Complete Warrior. Paladins are now ‘sort of’ a prestige class; a character can only gain level on the paladin class after successfully joining one of the following three organizations ingame: Ahir Guard on Caleau, Ahir Defenders on Lagung and Ahir Knights on Riozo.

__In addition to the normal skill list, each character may select one Knowledge skill (as long as said Knowledge skill is in synchrony with the character’s background), one extra skill (that is not listed on your Class as a class skill), and all classes have Heal as a class skill. The hit points recovered by a Long Term Care (one of the uses of the Heal Skill) are tripled, instead of doubled.

__Fighters, Dragon Shamans and Paladins’ skill points are now given by [4 + INT mod] (x 4 at first level). While Swashbucklers' are given by [6 + INT mod] (x 4 at first level).

__The Dragon Shaman class (simply called Shaman) also has some other changes. They lose all their Breath Weapons, and gain full BAB progression. The Resistance aura no loger exists, and the Power aura also works for attack rolls, but the bonus applied to attack roll is ½ of the one on the damage rolls, the minimum being 1; if needed, the bonus to the attack roll is rounded down.

__The Swashbuckler also has other changes. At 2nd level, and every six levels thereafter, a they gain a bonus feat.

At 7th Level they gain Flourish (Ex), and are able to intimidate its enemies and inspire allies with a flourish of the weapon. The Swashbuckler must take a Standard Action to flourish the weapon. All foes within 60’ that can see the Swashbuckler must make a Will save (DC 10+ ½ Swashbuckler class level + Charisma modifier). Any bonuses verses fear apply to this save. Creatures immune to Fear or morala effects cannot be affected by this ability. On a failed save, the opponent takes a -2 penalty on attack rolls against the Swashbuckler for 1 round per 5 Swashbuckler class levels. This is only usable once per day. Twice per day at 10th level.

__Here is a list of the available classes:
Table: Available Classes
{table=head]
Class|
Modifications?

Barbarian|None
Expert|None
Fighter|Skill Points
Knight|None
Marshal|None
Monk|None
Paladin|Non-spellcasting variant; Skill Points
Ranger|Non-spellcasting variant
Rogue|None
Scout|None
Shaman (Dragon Shaman)|Only the previously stated
Swashbuckler|Only the previously stated[/table]


Items
__There are no Magic Weapon Special Abilities (such as flaming, keen, merciful), the same applies for armors. However, +1 (+2, +3, +4 and +5) and Masterwork enhancements weapons and armors still exist. Wondrous Items don’t exist. You heard me people no magic items, other than the eventual artifact. Because artifacts are fun. What? They are!

__Alchemy has been recently giving more results than it ever did. It is not that hard when you haven’t done nearly no progress over a century. Nowadays there are potions bred through alchemical ways on Joprus, and they are a bit more expensive than they normally are according to D&D’s pricelist, since the materials used to create the potions are not very easy to obtain. Alchemists are also hard to find, and as such you can only find them on the kingdoms capitol (and a few others cities: Sylus, Lauron, Khalem and Yoro). Here is a list of all potions available so far, their price and description:

Table: Potions
{table=head]
Name|Market Price|
Effects

Potion of Cure Light Wounds|
100 gp|Heals 1d8 +1 (per CON mod) points damage
Potion of Lesser Vigor|
190 gp|Heals 1 point of damage per round for 11 rounds
Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds|
380 gp|Heals 2d8 +1 (per CON mod) points damage
Potion of Cure Serious Wounds|
840 gp|Heals 3d8 +1 (per CON mod) points damage[/table]


Regarding Hit Points
__Due to Joprus’ nature of [very] low-magic some variant rules regarding Hit Points will be used. The following variant rule will be used:

The Reserve Point (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/adventuring/reservePoints.htm) system from the d20srd.org website will be used. Here is an example of the system extracted from the website:

“Kroh has 22 hit points, so he also has 22 reserve points. In a battle with orcs, he takes 6 points of damage, dropping his hit points to 16. After the fight, Kroh’s reserve points begin to “convert” to hit points. Over the course of the next 6 minutes, his reserve point total drops by 6 and his hit point total increases by 6, up to his maximum of 22.”
With full night’s rest (7 hours), you recover 2 hit points per level.

[XiaoTie]

III
The Kingdoms and their geography

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/map-medium.png

Map of Joprus (1)

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/map-geo.png

Map of Joprus (2)

Historic overview
__Years ago the leader known as Baron Seiner du Lacs unified under his banner the human lands creating the Lacsiter Kingdom. The kingdom had the Spear Wall as its northern limit, the Glistering Mounts as eastern limit, the Dead Lands as western limit and king Uura's lands as southern limit. Said unification took place during the same time period on which the Baron Aniketos Drachengreifer unified the lands beyond the western border of the Dead Lands, creating the Drachenländer Kingdom.

__This unification process begun in the southern lands, with the unification of the Gyasi Kingdom performed by the King Uura I, and ended with the unification of the lands farther north beyond the Spear Wall, led by the great Yas, that formed the Yasir Kingdom.

__Nine years had passed since the unification of Yasir, and most of the insurrections movements that came to life in Yasir and Lacsiter had been terminated. A meeting gathering the four kings (Seiner, Uura I, Yas and Aniketos) was then held in Caleau, Lacsiter’s capitol. The meeting had as one of its goals to make official the mutual acknowledgement of the kingdoms concerning the legitimacy of each kingdom and its borders, although no formal alliance was born among them during that day. It was also established by all four kings that, as of the first day of the next year, a new era was born; The Dawn Era, and the former time period began to be treated as the Night Era.


Yasir (The Brave Kingdom)
__Formed mostly of frozen plains, Yasir possess only a few high ground areas, as the Western Plateau that marks Yasir’s border with Lacsiter, the Central Plateau, and the Eastern Plateau. The kingdom has few large forests, which are mostly taiga areas. Being located on the extreme north Yasir is by far the coldest of the kingdoms, even its southern portion is cold, as it is located by the frozen peaks of the Spear Wall, the longest mountain range in the entire continent. Yasir’s coastal area is as cold as the mainland, if not colder, the shores being constant targets of the freezing Eternal, the glacial ocean.

__During centuries the region that now forms Yasir was the stage of uncountable disputes between family clans. Years ago all the clans were united (sometimes through sheer strength, sometimes through carefully devised tactics) under the command of the great warrior leader, Yas. Today, Yasir’s ruler is Yas’ granddaughter, Yoshiko. The elders say that she looks so much like her grandfather that they feel as if the great Yas was again ruling Yasir. And, in fact, Yoshiko resembles her grandfather not only physically, but also on the wisdom through which she governs Yasir for the last decades.

__Years of peace and glory. That is probably the best way to define the period during Yoshiko’s rule. She honored their alliance with Lacsiter aiding the kingdom during the war, striking the blow that would drive the assailants away before the final battle. She also kept the eastern menace at sword’s length, giving peace to their cities. And she eliminated the occasional separatist movements that occurred during the past decades.

__Despite being rather fierce and honorable warriors, the yasirin (as are called those born in Yasir, both singular and plural) are not ruthless and primitive barbarians as one may think at a first glance on their warriors. The yasirin dress themselves in a way to endure the cold weather. In order to do so they use the fur from the local animals; bears and mammoths fur for the rich ones, wolves and seals for the common folk. Those who come from a family with great warriors also wear the fur of the mighty “northern trolls” [a normal troll, with long white fur] that live on the eastern island, and can sometimes be found on caves near the peaks on the Spear Wall.

__The women have a role as important as the male role inside the yasirin society. They are both treated equally. The yasirin are excellent blacksmiths, forging the best weapons and armors a human can forge, and they do so through the knowledge passed to them by the great dwarven blacksmiths with whom they have contact since the early days in the Night Era.

__The yasirin have Ahir, the Eternal, as their main deity. To them, Ahir was the creator of all that lives. According to the yasirin tradition, Ahir has his lair beneath the cold northern ocean. Nuhan is Ahir’s opposing deity. This is one of the cultural traits that the yasirin has in common with the people from Lacsiter and Drachenländer.

__Yasir is also the home to the dwarves living under the Spear Wall, inside underground cities that are connected to each other through a series of tunnels. Their northern empire capitol is called Kahars, where their king, Ugdar Silveraxe, lives in peace.
Physical Traits: Yasirin have extremely dark hair, ranging from dark shades of brown to the most common black (mostly long, even among the men), and their eyes color varies as their hair color. Language: The language spoken within the Brave Kingdom is the Hagish, which predates centuries before the Dawn Era. Hagish is spoken by the yasirin with a Chinese accent. The dwarves, like all other dwarves, speak the Dwarvish language, and use either Common or Hagish to trade with the yasirin.

The regions of Yasir

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Yasir-Regions.png


Lacsiter (The Great Kingdom)
__Lacsiter is located on the center of the continent, and is by far the largest kingdom of all, sharing borders with two of the other three kingdoms. It is formed by an interior mostly of plains, rivers and lakes, the kingdom has its southern border limited by the sea, the southeastern by Gyasi’s border, the eastern by the Doom Forest and the Glistering Mounts, northern by the cold Spear Wall, northwestern by Yasir’s Western Plateau and western by the Dead Lands. Its climate is cold on the northern areas within the range of the Spear Wall, and temperate on most of the other areas, the exception being the eastern almost tropical wet climate.

__Lacsiter is ruled by the Lacs family, which unified the kingdom during the Night Era. Currently the king is the young, but experient leader, Cyril du Lacs, the Strong, who was crowned after his father’s death during the battle on the Dead Lands, in the year 76 of the Dawn Era.

__The majority of lacsitan (those of origin on Lacsiter) are monotheists, worshiping Ahir, the same deity worshiped by the yasirin and the dracin (those of origin on Drachenländer). They have a strong influence of the religious ways conducted by the Church and its leader the Gran Cardinal di Ahiris. Their religion (as yasirin and dracin’s) is named Ahiranis. Caleau, Lacsiter’s capitol, is home to the largest, and most beautiful, cathedral built in homage to Ahir, built five decades ago.

__The best alchemists in the continent, as the best historians, and the most precise cartographers, are normally formed in the lacsitan universities. Lacsiter has the majority of the continent’s advanced learning centers spread throughout its territory. The most renowned of those can be found by the Lesud on its northern margin. On Lauron lies the most famous and renowned cartographer school, even the experienced sailors from Gyasi seek cartographers graduated there.

__On the Green Mounts mountain range, the proud and skilful dwarves can be found working on their stone halls, digging for gold and other metals and minerals. Most of them live on their southern empire capitol, the city of Kahurs, along with their king, Durgan Goldshield, while the others live on smaller cities connected to each other by a series of underground tunnels.
Physical Traits: Lacsitan’s hairs vary from strong shades of red to pitch black, from light brown to nearly blond. They have mostly tan skins due to the healthy exposure to the sun light during most of the year. Their eyes vary from green to black. Language: Lacsian is the language spoken by the lacsitan, and those who come from the northern area have an accent similar to our Scottish, while those from the south coast have accents similar to the Italian. Those from the central area have an accent that remembers our French.

The regions of Lacsiter

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Lacsiter-Regions.png


Drachenländer (The Wise and Proud Kingdom)
__Located in a peninsula at the extreme western edge of the continent, this kingdom has an extremely rocky and jagged territory, having two mountain ranges cutting through the lands longitudinally. Drachenländer has no direct border with the other kingdoms, its connection with the continent is trough the Dead Lands. All its other borders are defined by the Great Ocean. The climate is very similar to the lacsitan’s climate, but its northern region is not as cold as lacsitan’s, nor its eastern area tropical.

__The peninsula to the west of the Dead Lands used to be controlled by five families that constantly fought against each other over lands. In the southern area lived on of the most powerful family among the five, the Drachengreifer family, led by the baron Aniketos Drachengreifer. The baron Aniketos subdued the other families and unified the lands, creating the kingdom he called Drachenländer. The Great Baron (as Aniketos was known) simply disappeared decades after he unified the lands, and even after uncountable searches throughout the kingdom he was not found. Currently reigns Aniketos’ son, Erich, who led the kingdom during its first war.

__There is a great similarity between the dracin and the lacsitan people. The main difference between them is the great amount of pride that all dracin feel towards their kingdom. Every dracin would die under any condition for Drachenländer if it were needed to contribute with the greatness and glory of the kingdom. As the lacsitan and the yasirin, the vast majority the dracin worship Ahir, those who don’t keep the secret tightly within their minds, for they would probably be excluded from the society, or even killed.

__The only race that inhabits Drachenländer is the human race, and they avoid to the maximum any political contacts with the dwarven as much as the dwarves avoid political contact with them, despite in other kingdoms one being known as stubborn and wise as the other.
Physical Traits: Usually dracin have hairs’ color varying between brown and blond, some also have black hair. Their eyes are always light toned (normally either blue or green). Dracin skin’s color varies the same way that lacsitan skin color does. Language: Drachan is the language spoken by the dracin. Dracin from the western area of Drachenländer have an accent very similar to our German, whereas those from the eastern part of the kingdom have accents similar to the Greek.

The regions of Drachenländer

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Drachenlander-Regions.png


Gyasi (The Golden Kingdom)
__The Gyasi Kingdom is located on the southern peninsula of the continent that is embraced by the Calm Ocean. Its southern coast is shielded by a colossal mountain wall nigh impenetrable due to the heights reached by the extremely high peaks on the mountains of the called World Wall. The mountains heights easily reach numbers over nine thousand meters. The climate of the kingdom is mostly tropical (“tropical wet” and “tropical wet and dry”), except on the northeast where is located the Scorching Lands, the desert near the kingdom’s border with Lacsiter. Gyasi is bounded by the end of the Scorching Lands to the northeast, to the Green Wall to the east, and to the ocean in every other direction.

__Nearly nothing is known about how Gyasi was during the times of the Night Era, since the gysun (those with origin in Gyasi) do not care much about their past, and what they do care about the past they are not likely to share with the non-gysun. What is known is that many years before the rise of the other kingdoms Gyasi was already a strong and well established one, acting as ally of the Great Baron during Drachenländer’s unification period, sending reinforcement through naval warfare, what helped brewing their fame as great sailors. Currently, no alliance is held between Gyasi and the other kingdoms.

__Gysun culture can be described as the most exotic among the kingdoms when compared with lacsitan culture. Their religion does not fixate itself on a single pantheon, needless to say that they are not monotheists as the other three kingdoms. Most of their deities are related to the nature, such as the Sun, the Water and the likes. The gysun believe that every being possess a spirit, thus, believing that there are three different planes where different kinds of spirits would live; the plane of the spirits who inhabit the living bodies (the Living World), the plane of those who no longer inhabit the living bodies (the Dead World), and the third plane where the spirits that were disembodied by no natural cause.

__Their clothing is basically made out of animal skin and cotton (and silk on the eastern area by the Green Wall). Gysun society is based mostly on trading, be it among themselves, be it between the other kingdoms. One of the things that fuels this tuned trading machine is the mineral extracting and crafting tasks. The gysun skills on crafting minerals to make jewelry and the like are widely respected, even by the dwarves (and secretly by the elves themselves) who never reached the beauty level reached by the gysun jewelry.

__Gyasi is a land of humans, with not much time in contact with the dwarves (and even less, in a remote time during or before the Night Era, was their time in contact with the elves). They are, although, the only kingdom that had any contact with the elven folk (or even remember them for that matter), despite it having happened during the long gone years. It is believed in Gyasi that light colored eyes among the gysun are a sign of the old days when they had contact with the elven folk.
Physical Traits: Western gysun have dark toned skin and hair, while eastern gysun have tan skin and hair color going between light brown shades and black, as their eyes. Language: Despite the ethnic division in Gyasi, there is only one language on the kingdom, the Gyes, which is spoken by both, eastern and western gysun, with an accent similar to Spanish.

The regions of Gyasi

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Gyasi-Regions.png


Other regions

The Elven lands

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Elven-Regions.png


The Dead Lands

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v454/Loce/joprus/Deadlands-Regions.png



IV
Time in Joprus

Year and Seasons
__In Joprus the year consists in ten equally divided months, each one of them possessing thirty days (24 hours each), and each month being divided in five weeks, each of those weeks having six days each (two of those days being dedicated to rest and to prepare oneself for the upcoming week). The months do not have any particular naming; they are named by their order (first, second, third, and so on), the same happens with the days.

__A year is also subdivided in four, according to the periodical weather changes (as spring, summer, autumn and winter), each of those four subdivisions last for about 75 days each. In the northern part of Joprus the winter is almost eternal, with only a minor intensification in the temperature during the summer and the spring. While in the southern lands the opposite occurs, with rainy days during the autumn and strong rain for almost all the winter season.


Chronology of the Dawn Era

Year 10 D.E: Yet another separatist movement is suffocated by king Yas on Yoro. Year 13 D.E: King Seiner sends a group to colonize the lands near the western border of the Emerald Skies forest. Year 20 D.E: At the age of 59 king Yas dies in Yasir, he is succeeded by his son Kiras. Year 26 D.E: Dies in Lacsiter king Seiner at the age of 67, his son Ames is crowned. Year 31 D.E: An alliance pact signed by Kiras and Ames bonds Yasir and Lacsiter. Year 34 D.E: The prince Erich Drachengreifer is crowned king after king Aniketos’ disappearance. Year 42 D.E: The colonization of the lands near the Emerald Skies forest has its end when the settlers disappear, and, in Lacsiter, the forest is renamed to Forest of Doom. Year 47 D.E: During the tenth month, Yasir is attacked by an army, coming from the island in their eastern coast, of northern orcs and trolls. Year 48 D.E: The orcish invasion is repelled by the end of the first month, and Kiras starts constructing two fortresses on the east coast to prevent future invasions. Year 50 D.E: King Kiras’ fortresses are completed. Year 51 D.E:
Second month: Kiras gathers an army and leaves with his two eldest sons to attack the orcish island; Fourth month: news coming from Kiras’ troops tells the Yasir people of a victorious battle on the orcish island coast; Fifth month: news coming from the front tells the tale of defeat by an orcish fort. The army retreats to the coast; Eighth month: there are no more news from Kiras’ army, he and his army are presumed dead; Ninth month: king Kiras’ daughter, princess Yoshiko, is crowned, becoming the first Yasir queen. Year 56 D.E:
Fifth month: it comes to king Ames’ knowledge the existence of a demonic nuhânan sect acting within Lacsiter. Sixth month: during the first days of the month Ames secretly creates a special group to investigate and eliminate the nuhânan sect. Year 57 D.E: During the eighth month the special group, created by king Ames, while led by Alasdair (Ames’ son) finds and burns an empty temple, used by the nuhânan sect, close to the beaches on the southwestern coast near the border with the Dead Lands. Year 58 D.E:
First month: king Uura I passes away in Gyasi at the age of 83, his son, Uura II (49 years) is crowned king. Third month: the special group, once again led by Alasdair, travels towards the Forest of Doom to a second nuhânan temple; Fourth month: Alasdair group engaged on a fierce battle against the nuhânan sect. Despite their victory, most of Alasdair force was destroyed by the sectarian forces. Alasdair is mortally wounded, and dies at the age of 24 during the journey to Lacsiter. Year 62 D.E: King Ames passes away at the age of 65; he is succeeded by his son Harold (49 years old). Year 63 D.E: King Harold decrees that the reminiscent members of the special group, created by his father, are to be incorporated by the Church as the Ahir Defenders, acting as protectors of the Church’s values. Year 68 D.E: The Ahir Defenders stated to have gathered evidences that the nuhânan sect would be connected to the Drachengreifer family. Year 70 D.E:
First month: the evidences are given to king Harold, who becomes convinced that the connection between the nuhânan sect and the Drachengreifer family. He demands a pronunciation by the king Erich, and apologies for taking part on the murder of his brother; Second month: king Erich declares that the accusations are ridiculous and false, demanding apologies. By the end of the month king Harold refuses and declares war on Drachenländer; Eighth month: begins the first armed conflict between two nations during the Dawn Era. The first direct combat takes place on the Dead Lands, with the Drachenländer’s army victory. Ninth month: By the end of the month the survivors in king Harold’s army return to the Gran Fortress in Lacsiter. Year 71 D.E: King Erich’s army begins to march towards the Gran Fortress on the third month, having enough time just to gather a few more soldiers after the battle on the Dead Lands. By the end of the fourth month they had laid siege to the Gran Fortress. Year 72 D.E:
Third month: the invading army, already running out of provisions, retreat to Drachenländer, but not without first having drastically diminished the number of enemy soldiers; Fourth month: king Harold sends messengers to every place in the kingdom, recruiting as many soldiers as he can to defend the Gran Fortress; Ninth month: Harold realizes that the number of soldiers hitherto present on the Gran Fortress would not be enough to repel a well prepared invasion like the one that was about to take place. He sends a message to queen Yoshiko explaining his situation, but he is not answered. Year 74 D.E:
Second month: Drachenländer army once again laid siege to the Gran Fortress by the end of the month; Third month: more soldiers loyal to Lacsiter enter the fortress trough the southern area. They came from the coastal cities and villages, and entered the fortress breaking part of the siege during the night on the tenth day; Fourth month: the number of soldiers inside the fortress is diminished drastically every day, by the end of the month the Drachenländer army prepares to take the fortress and obliterate the defenders; Fifth month: during the night of the eighteenth day the reinforcements from Yasir arrive. Queen Yoshiko herself leads Yasir famous and powerful war cavalry. They attack from the north dealing a powerful blow that not only breaks the siege but also confuses the Drachenländer soldiers and raises the morale of the army inside the fortress, which leaves the fortress and joins the attack, successfully driving the Drachenländer soldiers to retreat. Year 76 D.E:
First month: after regrouping his army, king Harold himself leads his army towards Drachenländer, with queen Yoshiko and the mighty Yasir cavalry aiding him; Second month: once again a massive battle takes place on the Dead Lands, ending with almost the total annihilation of Drachenländer and Lacsiter army. King Harold is killed during the battle at the age of 49. King Erich sends a message to the commander Cyril, Harold’s son, offering a truce that would last 10 years if accepted; Fourth month: after his return to Lacsiter, Cyril is crowned king at the age of 19. Fifth month: the repairs to the Gran Fortress begin; queen Yoshiko returns to Yasir.

[XiaoTie]

Feel free to comment and to give constructive critics :thog:

[Cocky]

Very nice, I love the work and detail you put into this.

[Umarth]

I've read over all the stuff you've got posted (skimmed Drachenlander and Gyasi) and have some feedback for you.

I think you've got a good start on a world but I see a lot of areas that need some work. I can also see that you've got a lot of ideas going on that didn't make it to paper and I think that adding that information in would help a lot.

I've broken it out in sections like you did. You'll also find that a lot of my comments right now are about how the information is presented. I think that the layout needs some real improvement before the ideas themselves are really discussed. It's just to confusing right now. Although I did appreciate the spoiler tags.

Intro
-Overview
This is a bit ho hum. I'd look at really trying to sell your world in this section. Most of the time if I read something and the overview is dull I won't read any more. You may want to split out the rule changes into a "key changes" section.

-Historic Overview
Hunh? Coming this early I was confused by the information presented here. I'd move this section back till after the discussions on the regions. I'm also not clear after reading it exactly how many kingdoms we're talking about. Did 3 regions of kingdoms each unify independently and then those 3 big kingdoms unified again?

-Languages
List format please. Also "Nine is the number of the total amount of languages that are spoken within Joprus:" that's harder to read than just saying "There are nine languages spoken across Joprus." I actually have this problem with a lot of what you've written. You seem to be going for a style that feels old but your losing your readers in the process.

Joprus through D&D’s eyes
-Races
If you can't play them don't list them under the races section. Races in D&D really means "Player Races". I'd split out the others into a Non-player Races section. Is the only change to the races Dwarves live longer? This would probably be a good spot to call out why humans are the dominant race.

-Languages
Again? This should either go under Languages above or into the skill section. The idea of different languages costing different amounts of skill points is fun. Can everyone physically speak each of the languages?

-Deities
Sounds fairly standard. Later on you mention some of the religions are monotheistic. I'd probably put that information in here.

-Levels, skills and feats
Are there game mechanics reasons why people aren’t higher level? How does this effect high CR monsters.
Don't forget to call out the change to language skills here.

-Classes
I'd list out all the allowed classes. Easier to read that way.

-Items & Regarding Hit Points
No Comments.

Time in Joprus
-Year and Seasons
This breaks the internal world consistency for me. 10 months of 30 days, 5 weeks per month and no names for the months. This is author laziness and will be seen as such when people are thinking about the world. You're probably better off giving vaguely defined times such as planting season, harvest, ect rather than generic months if you don't want to come up with month names. They also shouldn't all be nice and even.

-Chronology of the Dawn Era
Didn't have enough information to know what was going on when I tried to read this. Didn't bother to go back.

IV
-The Kingdoms and their geography
Nice maps but take a look at your rivers and lakes some of them seem to be doing odd things. Lakes shouldn't have multiple rivers coming out of them and rivers shouldn't flow up hill.

-Yasir (The Brave Kingdom)

Personally not a fan of "iconic" kingdoms. England wasn't England (The Chivalrous Kingdom) after all. It was just England. It's also odd that people from the other kingdoms would call Yasir "The Brave Kingdom" and thus imply that they are more cowardly. (same idea for the others)

This seems odd:
Yasir’s ruler is Yas’ granddaughter, Yoshiko. The elders say that she looks so much like her grandfather that they feel as if the great Yas was again ruling Yasir.

Expect your group to say "She's a man baby."

-Lacsiter (The Great Kingdom)
All these kingdom descriptions have the same problem of painting some broad brush strokes with out giving me anything really juicy to sink my teeth into. Leaves me rather bored overall.

-Drachenlander, Gyasi, Other Regions
Just skimmed. Honestly I wasn't interested in reading them after the first two sections. It's not that you've got bad ideas it's just they need to be better highlighted and more attention needs to be paid to keeping the reviewers interest.

[XiaoTie]

Intro
-Overview
This is a bit ho hum. I'd look at really trying to sell your world in this section. Most of the time if I read something and the overview is dull I won't read any more. You may want to split out the rule changes into a "key changes" section.
Humm, like what changes happened to the D&D rules ? That would be nice.


-Historic Overview
Hunh? Coming this early I was confused by the information presented here. I'd move this section back till after the discussions on the regions. I'm also not clear after reading it exactly how many kingdoms we're talking about. Did 3 regions of kingdoms each unify independently and then those 3 big kingdoms unified again?
None of my players had this problem (around 10~12). Picture this as something like feudal Japan by the time of the Daymios. Or perhaps like tiny free states that the leaders (Yas etc.) conquered/unified/annexed.


-Languages
List format please. Also "Nine is the number of the total amount of languages that are spoken within Joprus:" that's harder to read than just saying "There are nine languages spoken across Joprus." I actually have this problem with a lot of what you've written. You seem to be going for a style that feels old but your losing your readers in the process.
That may be so, young lad. :smallbiggrin: None of my players had that problem while reading. And half of them didn't have english as their mother language.


Joprus through D&D’s eyes
-Races
If you can't play them don't list them under the races section. Races in D&D really means "Player Races". I'd split out the others into a Non-player Races section. Is the only change to the races Dwarves live longer? This would probably be a good spot to call out why humans are the dominant race.
Aaah, another good idea. Dividing them would be better, indeed. And the question is (at least I think it is) simple, sheer number and dwarves preffering to live on their kingdoms underground.


-Languages
Again? This should either go under Languages above or into the skill section. The idea of different languages costing different amounts of skill points is fun. Can everyone physically speak each of the languages?
Wooot, another good idea :smallbiggrin: I'll put them on the skill part when I got the time. And yeah, everyone can. Eventually you will probably have the skill monkey of the group being able to speak them all :smalltongue:


-Deities
Sounds fairly standard. Later on you mention some of the religions are monotheistic. I'd probably put that information in here.
Yup, but only the religion that worship Ahir (like it happens in Yasir, Drachen and Lacsiter) is monotheistic.


-Levels, skills and feats
Are there game mechanics reasons why people aren’t higher level? How does this effect high CR monsters.
Don't forget to call out the change to language skills here.
No high CR monsters? I thought this was a given.


-Classes
I'd list out all the allowed classes. Easier to read that way.
Yup, I will do that too, thanks :smallbiggrin:



Time in Joprus
-Year and Seasons
This breaks the internal world consistency for me. 10 months of 30 days, 5 weeks per month and no names for the months. This is author laziness and will be seen as such when people are thinking about the world. You're probably better off giving vaguely defined times such as planting season, harvest, ect rather than generic months if you don't want to come up with month names. They also shouldn't all be nice and even.
So, you can't understand that the harvest normaly happens on Fall, and because I made an even year, I'm lazy ? I fail to see your logic here. The month naming is a good call though.


-Chronology of the Dawn Era
Didn't have enough information to know what was going on when I tried to read this. Didn't bother to go back.
It is a timeline, how hard can it be for someone to understnd ? :smalltongue:


IV
-The Kingdoms and their geography
Nice maps but take a look at your rivers and lakes some of them seem to be doing odd things. Lakes shouldn't have multiple rivers coming out of them and rivers shouldn't flow up hill.
I never heard that huge 'lakes' like those couldn't have multiple rivers, then again I don't have major in Limnology. And only ONE of the rivers flows "uphill", the one crossing Caleau. All the others flow downhill. And even that river on Caleau flowing "uphill" could be explained by the non-posted map of Caleu. :smalltongue:


-Yasir (The Brave Kingdom)

Personally not a fan of "iconic" kingdoms. England wasn't England (The Chivalrous Kingdom) after all. It was just England. It's also odd that people from the other kingdoms would call Yasir "The Brave Kingdom" and thus imply that they are more cowardly. (same idea for the others)
Good for you? :smalltongue: None of the players I had complained about that. And to be totaly honest with you, I'm not that fond of the "titles" the kingdoms were given, you can see that in the Table of Contents, where I just had their name. However, the "titles" are good to make the players have a feeling of how the characters coming from a kingdom are (at least normally).


This seems odd:
Yasir’s ruler is Yas’ granddaughter, Yoshiko. The elders say that she looks so much like her grandfather that they feel as if the great Yas was again ruling Yasir.

Expect your group to say "She's a man baby."
I usually don't DM to jerks.


-Lacsiter (The Great Kingdom)
All these kingdom descriptions have the same problem of painting some broad brush strokes with out giving me anything really juicy to sink my teeth into. Leaves me rather bored overall.
The point of this thread is just to keep it basic.


-Drachenlander, Gyasi, Other Regions
Just skimmed. Honestly I wasn't interested in reading them after the first two sections. It's not that you've got bad ideas it's just they need to be better highlighted and more attention needs to be paid to keeping the reviewers interest.
Sleepyness is probably the main reason why I fail to understand this part.

All in all, thanks for the awsome tips and the constructive critics :elan:

[Umarth]

Just wanted to clarify a couple of my statements as I don't think I got some of them across clearly.

Keep in mind that a lot of my review covered how to format this material so it's easy to read and understand it all the first time you read through it. This is because if things are confusing people aren’t going to provide you feedback about your world.



None of my players had this problem (around 10~12). Picture this as something like feudal Japan by the time of the Daimyos. Or perhaps like tiny free states that the leaders (Yas etc.) conquered/unified/annexed.


My problem here wasn't so much with the material you provided but where it was in the post made it hard to understand (and thus review). You've got a lot of names, places, ect that I don't know anything about so when I read it a lot of it is rather confusing. After looking at your maps and reading some about the kingdoms I came back and read the history again and it made a lot more sense.

I'd just move where this comes in the flow of information you provide.



That may be so, young lad. :smallbiggrin: None of my players had that problem while reading. And half of them didn't have english as their mother language.


So first off you don't know anything about my age or sex so don't make assumptions about either.

My personal opinion is that rule information should be written in the clearest possible way. This is so the rules are easy to scan through when you need to find something and so that there isn't any confusion about exactly what the rules mean.

Flavor is all well and good but, I think, that it should be clearly separated from information I need to play the game. So it's not that it doesn't make sense or is unintelligible it's just that it could be clearer.


Yup, but only the religion that worship Ahir (like it happens in Yasir, Drachen and Lacsiter) is monotheistic.



No high CR monsters? I thought this was a given.

Had to ask. I run a low magic campaign myself (not low power though) and so I pay a lot of attention to the low magic worlds I see people post about. I've seen folks put CR 25 dragons with full spell casting into worlds and say the highest level characters are level 10.



So, you can't understand that the harvest normally happens on Fall, and because I made an even year, I'm lazy ? I fail to see your logic here. The month naming is a good call though.


Think I wasn't clear here. I suggested using harvest/spring/what ever as generic replacements for the 10 months named 1st month, 2nd month, 3rd month, ect.

The part I really see as author laziness is the names for the months. When you combine this with everything being even it doesn't feel like a real world. If it doesn't feel like a real world it pulls me out of the setting your trying to create.

Which do you think would seem more realistic:
1) Every month and day are called by a number.
It happened in the 1st day of the 3rd week of the 4th month of the 45th year.
2) Every month, weekday, possibly even year have individual names.
It happened on the day of Singing Swords in the month of Falling Arrows in the year of Broken Blades.

I think you'll agree that number 2 sounds a lot more thematically correct and realistic. It's also a lot harder to do and is a pain in the rear to create. Thus the reason for not having it is it's hard to do and so not doing it is because of author "laziness" (or of having other things your focused on first).

If it's not important to put the time into making up something that really works then, I feel, your probably better off going with something vague (like harvest time) that won't pull people out of the setting and say to them "The DM hasn't finished this part of the world yet".



It is a timeline, how hard can it be for someone to understnd ? :smalltongue:


Looking at the first few lines:
Year 10 D.E: I don't know who Yas or Yoro are yet. I don't know who the separatist are or why they want to separate.
Year 13 D.E: I don't know who King Seiner is yet (king of what?) I don't know where the Emerald Skies forest is yet.
Year 20 D.E:Yasir is where?

Your introducing a lot of information in a way that doesn't give me much context. That's what’s confusing. Once you understand the geography and broad history it makes sense. Until then it's confusing. So this is a case of where it just needs to be moved not re-written.




I never heard that huge 'lakes' like those couldn't have multiple rivers, then again I don't have major in Limnology. And only ONE of the rivers flows "uphill", the one crossing Caleau. All the others flow downhill. And even that river on Caleau flowing "uphill" could be explained by the non-posted map of Caleu. :smalltongue:


Okay that explains the one odd river than. I guess it might be possible for lakes to have multiple outlets but I don't think it's common. Water tends to flow out of the lowest point so unless you have two points of equal height or a whole lot of water coming in they probably won't have two outlets.
Here's some sample rivers to look at:
http://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/namerica/usstates/artwork/rivers/uslayout.htm
http://graphicmaps.com/webimage/countrys/euriv.htm




Good for you? :smalltongue: None of the players I had complained about that. And to be totaly honest with you, I'm not that fond of the "titles" the kingdoms were given, you can see that in the Table of Contents, where I just had their name. However, the "titles" are good to make the players have a feeling of how the characters coming from a kingdom are (at least normally).


If your not a fan of them either than maybe you should consider adding a role playing tips section to each kingdom description to acomplish what your looking for.
Yasir:
Role-playing guidelines:
Yasir values chivalry more than other countries and it is a matter of life and death to Yasirians.
People from Yasir typically like spicy food.
Yasirins refrain from smoking but are typically heavy drinkers.



I usually don't DM to jerks.


Not saying you do. But still you said the queen looks like an old man. I'm not sure exactly what that means. Does she have a beard? White hair? Wrinkly? Big Adams apple?



The point of this thread is just to keep it basic.


You can keep it basic but still add a few interesting details. If someone is never going to play in your world at least make it interesting for the folks your asking to review it.




Sleepyness is probably the main reason why I fail to understand this part.

All in all, thanks for the awsome tips and the constructive critics :elan:

This was in reference to the problem I mentioned directly above it. Give me something interesting to hook me. If I'm enjoying something I'm much more likely to read/review it. This may not be as much of a problem for your players because they already have a hook (their character) but for people who aren’t going to play we need something to keep our attention.

[XiaoTie]

Okay that explains the one odd river than. I guess it might be possible for lakes to have multiple outlets but I don't think it's common. Water tends to flow out of the lowest point so unless you have two points of equal height or a whole lot of water coming in they probably won't have two outlets.
Here's some sample rivers to look at:
http://www.worldatlas.com/webimage/countrys/namerica/usstates/artwork/rivers/uslayout.htm
http://graphicmaps.com/webimage/countrys/euriv.htm
The only lake that has multiple rivers coming out of it is the one in the middle, the Leran; and by multiple I mean two, one on the west (that divides itself into two) and the one in the southeast.


Not saying you do. But still you said the queen looks like an old man. I'm not sure exactly what that means. Does she have a beard? White hair? Wrinkly? Big Adams apple?
So, if you had your [grand]mother's eyes, lips and 'style of handling things' that would make you a tranvestite ? In fact, Tolkien describes Nienor (a female character, mind you :smallwink: ) as "the very likeness in woman's form of Húrin her father." It's not my problem if you, or those players whom I called "jerks" can't interpretate that.


You can keep it basic but still add a few interesting details. If someone is never going to play in your world at least make it interesting for the folks your asking to review it.
Actually, I got 12 people playing in two different campaigns, and they thought quite interest enough to give me feedback AND to play.


This was in reference to the problem I mentioned directly above it. Give me something interesting to hook me. If I'm enjoying something I'm much more likely to read/review it. This may not be as much of a problem for your players because they already have a hook (their character) but for people who aren’t going to play we need something to keep our attention.
Don't want to review ? Then don't, I'm not making you, if it is not interesting for you just don't post :smallsmile: