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Altheus
2020-03-10, 06:50 AM
I was playing a cleric who was about to lay the smackdown on a warlock who had sold his soul to something with too many consonants.

"No redemption for this one!", I'm going to smite him with my warhammer and cast sacred flame for good measure.

Roll your attack

*Rattle* 2

Ok, and the damage from sacred flame?

*Rattle* 1

GM "I live for moments like this!"

What are your tales of dice that should have been crits but just wouldn't perform.

Khedrac
2020-03-10, 07:08 AM
Thankfully, our GM has more of these than we do (thankfully, because of the critical fumble system he used to use).

Party finding it was facing off against a demonic demigod loses initiative...
The demigod (it was flying, we were on a ship) swoops across, grabbing two crew to demonstrate how much trouble we were in, goes back to some distance off.
Party mage's player makes an SR check then asked the DM "please roll a one" - DM - "what happens when I do?"
Demigod now baleful polymorphed into a dove...

Same party facing off against a death knight the DM has customized for two weapon fighting.
DM: "and the death knight..." rolls a 1, rolls again and consults table, "throws away his sword".
party mage - "Evard's on the area containing the sword so he cannot go and pick it up."
party melee then go to town on the death knight who is a total wimp with only one weapon....

Galithar
2020-03-10, 07:50 AM
In the flight with Strahd (5e Curse of Strahd module) my character is the in combat healer because I can actually heal enough to keep someone on their feet for more then 1 round. (Divination Wizard with an amulet of health and life Transference)

Sorcadin locked in melee with Strahd: Alright I'm officially the luckiest paladin at the table. I've got one health left.
Me: I got you! *Casts life Transference at 5th level* ... ****.
Sorcadin: Do I still need healed?
Me: Nope, but I do. rolled 8,8,8,8,7,7
You heal for 92 (his max was only like 70)
DM: Are you still standing?
Me: Yupp, but now I have 1 hit point....


Only time I've wished I hadn't rolled so high.

Resileaf
2020-03-10, 10:21 AM
The group had to traverse a ravine with a rope. The cleric was the final person to cross. So he rolls.

2
1
2
3
1
and so on.

I only realized during the fact that the DC to cross safely was too low to even risk falling because of the cleric's strength bonus (since you have to fail the roll by 5 or more to fall and the DC was 5), but I had to see how long it would take to roll high enough to cross. It took five more dice rolls.

Kelb_Panthera
2020-03-10, 02:09 PM
Ugh. It feels like every week with my group.

Last session, I think I rolled over 6 on the d20 like 4 times in a 6 hour session and I'm the -skills- guy for my party. You can imagine how many rolls in a session of 3e D&D as the skill guy. The one that hurt the most last week was the secondary save on a poisoning. Didn't even really have an effect on play, it was just an extra little "screw you" from the dice gods since my most important class features rely on the ability it was damaging. Nat 1 when mine is the highest fort save in the party and I normally laugh at poisons.

Jay R
2020-03-10, 03:39 PM
In an AD&D dungeon crawl, our low-level party saw a hole in the wall above a ten-foot pile of rubble. This was such an easy climb the DM gave my thief a 95% chance of succeeding. So I rolled the dice -- 00. He fell, took a couple of HP damage, stood up, dusted himself off, and climbed again -- 00 again.

save him - there was a Grey Ooze in the hole.]

------

About fifteen years ago, I was running a game of original D&D. In the first combat, one player just couldn't seem to roll well. Over and over, his rolls never exceeded a mediocre level. After several encounters of frustrated play, I eventually watched him roll, and said, "Alex, that's a d12. Try rolling a d20."

denthor
2020-03-11, 10:49 PM
So at the table the archer rolling 4 dice a round never over a 13. My character is in wrestling match with a shaugin. The archer initiative comes up. Four point blank shots 20, 19, 20,18. Dude became Green arrow/Hawkeye when we wanted to capture and question.

Devils_Advocate
2020-03-11, 11:55 PM
While it didn't happen to me, nor to anyone I know, I do have a story to share (https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Sameo).

SirBellias
2020-03-12, 12:12 AM
I tend to make characters that don't rely on me rolling. Because the dice hate me.

The latest exhibit in this is the Case of the Ball of Many Things.

It had 4 charges, and there were 5 of us. Each charge rolled on an edited Deck of Many Things for 5e (I was just informed the DM "took out the boring options" and brought it down to 13 cards).

The whole quest so far was a long and convoluted (but very enjoyable) trip around the world to collect pieces of an artifact that will allow us to cast wish so that we could weaken a super demon thing or elevate a demigod to help us fight it, or whatever way we decided to annihilate said BBEG. Seeing as this ball we found in a dismantled wizards tower would allow us to circumvent the rest of it entirely, 4 of us took the risk, my character being the third. This time I rolled stupidly high stats, so I decided to make a tank and shore up the party's martial side.

The results were:

The necromancer subtracting 1 from all their saves (who was passed a ring of protection by another party member).

The charlatan gaining a level, from 9 to 10.

The guard being pulled to the center of the earth to fester for eternity.

The doctor getting the ability to reverse one thing (but only stuff that affects themselves).

That my character was infected with some of the super demon spawn really didn't help the situation. Apparently there's going to be another large angry death worm running around the world. RIP Rowan, you will be missed.

Then there was the character that managed to lose both arms within 2 sessions, but only one of those was due to the luck of the dice, so I'm partially to blame for that.

Kaptin Keen
2020-03-12, 02:16 AM
It has to be Dark Heresy - right?

So it's a game with a lower power level - no multilasers, more like zip guns, crank cannons and the like.

For a larger battle against a nasty, mutated boss creature, we picked up an ancient, battered and broken plasma gun - with wires sticking out, bent cooling coils, and so on. It's basically one big warning sign: Do not roll a misfire!

But we need to use it, so use it we do. My guy has a 80+ chance to hit, but rolls 94. Almost a misfire. Surely I won't roll that high again, right? So I spend a fate point, reroll, and roll double-zero. Then a ten for the result; explosion, and another ten for damage. In short, there is a very brief scream as my guy is consumed by nuclear fire =)