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Man_Over_Game
2020-03-16, 01:39 PM
Hi, Playground. I'm a DM who's biggest problem is my ability to narrate my scenes.

It's not necessarily the plotting or the random elements of the world that I'm having trouble making, but that I describe things technically and matter-of-factly. I have trouble describing things as a vivid scene for my players so that they can picture the scene from their characters' perspective.

Do you guys have recommendations as to where I could go to improve on this, or suggestions of your own that might help?

MesiDoomstalker
2020-03-16, 02:02 PM
First and most importantly; brevity is the spice of life. You do not need paragraph long descriptions of every little detail. My rule of thumb is for 80% of areas, details and things, a 2-3 sentence description is good. If you spend a significant amount of time describing every pebble, you will surely bore your players to death with your Byron-level writing. The last 20% are ok being decently lengthy (no more than 2 paragraphs) for really important things. Recurring NPCs, massive set pieces, dramatic villainous intro, etc.

Second rule is avoid your thesaurus. If you can't think of a fancy word for a situation, use a non-fancy word. Most likely, this will communicate what you are trying to convey to your players better (unless all your players are English majors).

Third and final rule; conservation of details. Never mention something if it isn't important. If you describe a town with a giant octagonal center 'square' with weird and fantastical buildings at every corner and then immediately steer your players to a back alley and the cool 'square' is never mentioned or seen again, it will be disappointing. Or conversely, the level of attention to the 'square' would drive many players to denote significance related to their current quest/objective. This is probably the toughest balancing act as you can accidentally show your hand by describing only relevant bits (like being able to tell what rock is about to be blown up in an episode of DBZ) or completely obfuscate something by avoiding describing it in too much detail (because the PC's never think to turn the handle that is mentioned once with no fan-fare in the middle of the room description).

prabe
2020-03-16, 03:43 PM
What part of narrating are you having a problem with? It sounds as though scene-setting is a problem for you; is narrating action/result a problem, as well? Is there some other type of narration I'm missing, which is also a problem?

For scene-setting, my first suggestion is to take time to write up a few details of a relevant scene. If this kind of thinking on your feet is difficult for you, working ahead will help. An example from my own session notes:


The [Holiday] is in many places a time of generosity and charity and feasting. [Innkeeper] is charging modest prices for a wealthy or better meal, roast meats on a carving board (pheasants and lamb), as well as two kings of vegetarian soups (one beans, one onions and beer) and fire-roasted green vegetables and potatoes. Good beer, cider, mead included; applejack and bierbrand extra on request.

The bar is redolent with the smells of cooked food. There is a small smithy [in the caravanserai] and the smith and his two apprentices are eating; two caravans are here, each with about twelve non-fighting members at pulled-together tables. No hostility but minimal interaction.

Jay R
2020-03-16, 04:55 PM
Adjectives.

Not just a 10x20 ft room, but a dark room, or a smoky room, or ...

J-H
2020-03-16, 06:09 PM
I have the same problem. In advance, come up with a list of 3-5 adjectives or phrases to describe important places or characters. Include color, smell, and sounds that are unique or make them pop.

Sam113097
2020-03-16, 06:45 PM
Well, I try to make it interactive if that makes sense! It might not be for everyone, but when describing a scene, I will get up and start drawing onto the dry-erase map in the middle of the table. I’ll describe each thing very simply as I outline it, and my players can ask details at this time. Then, I sort of “set the scene” with a one-sentence, more adjective-filled little description.

For example, let’s say the players enter the next room in a dungeon. I’ll have the outline of the room already drawn, and then I’ll say “As you enter the room, you see a stone altar in the center on a raised square dais (and draw a little rectangle inside a square), and there are a handful of skeletons scattered in the corner (and draw a little skull).” I try to do this with fairly straightforward, plain language while I quickly draw the outlines of what is in the area (I am not an artist at all, so they’re just lines). Then, once everything is described in basic terms, I throw in a one-sentence descriptor to sort of establish the ambiance: “The black stone dais is covered in dust, and the skeletons in the corner have rusted, broken weapons and armor.”

It works for non-mapped our scenes too. Just describe each feature in bare, direct language, and then establish the scene with a one-sentence summary!

Incorrect
2020-03-17, 03:24 AM
When I need to improvise a scene I tell myself to include one sense other than sight. I feel like that reminds the players to try and imagine it.
Like,
This room is a messy workshop, you see two workbenches with an assortment of tools strewn about. The air is dense with the smells of engine oil and cigaret smoke.


The first scene of the gaming session, or when introducing a whole new landscape or town; I like to start with a birds-eye view, and slowly zoom in on the characters. It gives me a direction of where I'm going with my description.

MoiMagnus
2020-03-17, 05:01 AM
For rooms where there will probably be a fight, the maps are (quickly) hand-drawn, but you can already says a lot just by quickly drawing the map and describing what you just drawn.

If the limits are straight, those are wall, and you can say if they look rich with gold and paintings, or if they are regular tavern walls.
If the limits are wiggly, is it cavern walls? Or is it the beginning of a lake? What a bout pillar or ruins of previous battles?
Just by adding regular objects that are "useful" (at least as cover) during an encounter can say a LOT on the place.

For important character, the easiest is (1) start by giving few words on what make them match their stereotype [don't go into too much subtlety on that] (2) then what make them unique/different from the stereotype.

Don't forget ambiance. Describing the feeling given by a room/character contain so much more information than the colour of the wall/clothes.

Kaptin Keen
2020-03-17, 05:23 AM
Well .. look at the map, then add drama.

That propably sounds wildly simplified, but it's accurate. If what the map holds is ... lets say a stretch of road, some cover, two riflemen and (for some reason) a summoner - just add drama.

The road is ill-maintained, pitted and broken, with tufts of grass and pretty blue flowers poking through the grey asphalt. The cover is a burnt-out old munitions truck, and it's cargo of crates and barrels strewn across the road. The riflemen are deserters, dressed in their ragged and now illicit uniforms, remnants of War Marshal Gorden's Grey Coat regiment, the Reckless. The summoner is dressed in blue and yellow, his robes pristine, new and clean, and whipped by unfelt winds as he calls forth whatever monstrous things from the beyond.

It's fairly simple: Just attach whatever adjectives* come to mind =)

*Is that the word I'm looking for? You know, descriptive phrases.

prabe
2020-03-17, 06:48 AM
It's fairly simple: Just attach whatever adjectives* come to mind =)

*Is that the word I'm looking for? You know, descriptive phrases.

Yes, that's the word--words that describe nouns.* The term for a phrase that does so is "adjectival phrase" in which "adjectival" is itself an adjective. Heh.


*If English isn't your first language, this might (or might not) be similar to the word in your first language.

Ken Murikumo
2020-03-17, 08:13 AM
A note on what others have said about describing with adjectives and using up to 3 sentences to describe things; not everything needs description and knowing what needs long description and what doesn't can help improve your narration. If you properly set the scene, your players will fill in the blanks (and sometimes about things you didn't even think about). For example, if you set the scene at a nobles banquet, describe the room (a massive ballroom with cathedral ceilings and sparkling chandeliers evenly spaced, windows that stretch from floor to ceiling, tables with food and other goodies lining the edges of the room), describe the people and what they are doing (guests in elaborate ballgowns and suits gather and converse in groups, passing conceited looks at the wait staff or those they feel are below them), be sure to point out anything out of the ordinary (if the players are at an Elven banquet and there is an orc dressed in finery, this is a huge stand-out and be sure to add that into the details; it can also make the players begin discussing how something could like that could occur; they may assume, "wow, he must have done something to be acknowledged by the Elves"), & describe important characters or events with more detail (one person in particular stands out with his expensive looking suit, gem encrusted and laden with gold and silver fibers & neatly trimmed goatee and quaffed hair; it's the prince who invited you, his face lights up as he notices you; he hands his wine glass off to the wait staff and hastily makes his way toward you).

Above is less than a paragraph describing the whole setting without going too much into detail or even giving specific number of people or objects in the room. There were table with food mentioned, but there is no need to describe what the tables specifically look like or even what kinds of food are on the table (unless the players ask, to which you give more detail). Same with the crowd in the room; there is no need to describe every person in agonizing detail, but the above implies snobby nobles and wait staff (unless the players ask or inquire about who looks the richest, for example, then you would describe just that person or people). Your players will fill in the fine details on their own. And sometimes they ask about things that you never even though about but there's no reason not to have it. For example if a player said, "there's music or something, right?", you may have forgotten to mention or didn't even think about it. Now it's up to you to roll with it or not. There is no reason a bard or even a band shouldn't be here so for me, i'd tell them, "through the crowd you can see a nicely dressed string instrument band, taking a break between sets or wait for their queue to begin playing." And just like that your players have inadvertently helped you set the scene.

On the other hand, sometimes all that detail is just not needed. You could describe it till your blue in the face, but if it adds nothing to the story or you need to speed things up, sometimes just giving a quick and lazy sentence is enough. For the above "it's a noble banquet with all the bells and whistles, the prince sees you come in and makes his way over". It's lazy but sets the scene enough in the players mind. Especially if you have a big battle or something planned and the banquet is just a quick stop until the battle begins. I've done this in a homebrew future-fantasy space campaign i'm running. I tell them about finding current events on "space-facebook" or "space-youtube" because, yes it's lazy and kind of funny, but it does invoke the though of social media and video sharing platforms that would be popular in this setting's "space-internet". I once said "a guy strapped to a science table" because we had 10 minutes left in the session. The players laughed but knew exactly what i was trying to invoke: the guy was restrained on a metal operating table with computers and other equipment hooked up to it.

Kaptin Keen
2020-03-17, 09:31 AM
Yes, that's the word--words that describe nouns.* The term for a phrase that does so is "adjectival phrase" in which "adjectival" is itself an adjective. Heh.


*If English isn't your first language, this might (or might not) be similar to the word in your first language.

I seriously suck at grammar. I know for a fact the word in danish is the same, adjektiv, I just don't recall for sure if that's the right word - or, I mean, now I do =)

Thanks =)

prabe
2020-03-17, 10:00 AM
I seriously suck at grammar. I know for a fact the word in danish is the same, adjektiv, I just don't recall for sure if that's the right word - or, I mean, now I do =)

Thanks =)

No worries. I know for a fact that your English is better than my Danish.

CombatBunny
2020-03-17, 12:58 PM
I used to try to give vivid descriptions on my narrations, but with experience I have discovered that in RPGs, many times less is more. For many players, your way of describing things is the desirable one, because they want to discover things by themselves.

The only think you maybe need to improve is to add one or two things that make the scene, scenario, room or situation interesting. The good side is that you can describe those as “matters of fact” as well, because the brains of your players will do the rest of the job.

For example:

You walk into a dim illuminated room, but [here comes what makes the room different] on the distance you can hear what it seems like a big fan spinning. Also, the temperature on this room is high.

See? You don’t need anything more than that. Their minds will be wondering endless possibilities; is it a trap? Is this room a laboratory? Is it an incubation room? But you must listen to your players carefully and feedback your adventure with those.

You can describe things in a dull matter, in role playing games that’s not as important, but always add one or two things that trigger curiosity, an element that makes that thing that you are describing unique from every other thing that the players have encountered so far.

Bubzors
2020-03-17, 09:25 PM
I'll second a lot of what others have said in length, keep it simple and concise. No one wants to listen to multiple paragraphs about the architecture of the town.

When designing the encounter or location think about what makes it unique. Come up with two or three good adjectives that describe this and weave them into one or two sentences.

Lastly I seriously suggest using multiple senses when describing something. Using just sight is limiting. We experience everything with all 5 senses all the time in real life. Using them all helps give more of an understanding of what is going on.

An example:

You journey through the swamp all morning before coming to the assorted huts of the lizardfolk village.

You trek through the fetid marsh landscape all morning, your clothes a soaked mess clinging to your skin. Finally you catch a whiff of campfires and make out the straw huts of the lizardfolk village.

Both convey the same information but one the second makes the whole scenario feel more alive and less matter a reading of straight facts

Tawmis
2020-03-18, 12:42 AM
Hi, Playground. I'm a DM who's biggest problem is my ability to narrate my scenes.

It's not necessarily the plotting or the random elements of the world that I'm having trouble making, but that I describe things technically and matter-of-factly. I have trouble describing things as a vivid scene for my players so that they can picture the scene from their characters' perspective.

Do you guys have recommendations as to where I could go to improve on this, or suggestions of your own that might help?

So... while I love writing, sometimes, when I DM - I forget my players can't see the beautiful vision in my head. So, like you, I simply would say what's around without going into depth.

I realized this after recording one of our sessions - and took a 3x5 card that says "DESCRIBE THE GRASS." "DESCRIBE THE AIR" "DESCRIBE THE VILLAGE"

And it's there to remind me that my players don't have a vision of what I see in my head - and sometimes, even the smallest detail can make a difference.

Rather than, "You all arrive in this small town that sits against a river" - to "As you approach the small town you saw in the distance; you can hear the sound of lumber being cut. The clanging of metal as smiths work hard leaves an ash taste in your mouth. The river, however, gives off a cool breeze, as you hear it thundering down the mountain side. Merchants can be seen passing in and out of the large wooden gates."

It's becomes the path of "not telling enough" or "am I telling too much" at times.

Kaptin Keen
2020-03-18, 02:55 AM
No worries. I know for a fact that your English is better than my Danish.

Speaking danish is a very obscure, specific and slightly weird skill to master - outside of Denmark =)

Incorrect
2020-03-18, 04:24 AM
Maybe a simple tip would be to use pictures.
It might not be exactly the room you want to describe, but it would be good to set the general tone.
It also works wonders for NPCs.

prabe
2020-03-18, 10:05 AM
Speaking danish is a very obscure, specific and slightly weird skill to master - outside of Denmark =)

I'm an American. The idea of a second language is kinda mythical, here.

Devils_Advocate
2020-03-18, 08:08 PM
I describe things technically and matter-of-factly. I have trouble describing things as a vivid scene for my players so that they can picture the scene from their characters' perspective.
An example might help. Could you describe a scene for us, as you typically do?

CombatBunny
2020-03-19, 09:55 AM
Maybe a simple tip would be to use pictures.
It might not be exactly the room you want to describe, but it would be good to set the general tone.
It also works wonders for NPCs.

This is an excellent tip. I usually have a monitor facing the players and when they enter a common place (tavern, garden, castle, town) I google that and select one from the first rows of results to display to the players.

That also has the benefit of improving your improvisation, because instead of trying to find the perfect image that corresponds to what you have in mind, now you change your descriptions and your world to what it is displayed on the monitor.

PS: To be able to see and manipulate what I am sending to the second monitor, I use a software called Ultramon combined with a plugin called Mirrormon.