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The Fury
2020-04-01, 12:22 PM
Hey everyone. It's no secret that I've been in sort of a dark place. It's left me questioning my ability to be a friend and even badly affected my will to live. So I thought to change things up and share some moments when I was genuinely moved by kindness that someone showed me. If anyone else has any similar moments to add, I encourage you to do so.

Plus, sharing earnest feelings on April 1st feels so wildly inappropriate that it's a little funny.

One of my first D&D groups was one that I almost dropped out of because of scheduling reasons. The person that invited me into the group called me and asked about my schedule. He immediately got to work changing the time the group met so I could still come. No one had ever done anything like that for me, and I was new to the group at the time. It would have been so much easier for the group to just get rid of me, but they put in effort so I could stay.

After learning that a friend had died of cancer, seeing everyone around me horribly distraught by the news, trying, (and failing) to keep it together, and going to a funeral, I was emotionally destroyed. At the time, I was living with my sister. She and I never really talk about our feelings and she'd often leave for work for days at a time. Before leaving for work, she baked one of my favorite desserts because she could see that I wasn't doing well. By the time I got home, she had already left. I sent her a message asking if I should save any for her. She said, "no," and told me to feel better soon. I'm lucky to have her as my sister.

This last one is a little strange, but it's also one I'm really fond of. My friend told me about a time that they woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. They said they couldn't recall why, but they started thinking about me, about how I would want for them to take care of themselves. And described a tenderness and a warmth, after that they were able to calm down and go to sleep. I never knew anyone thought about me that way, and it might be the sweetest thing that anyone's ever said to me.

Tvtyrant
2020-04-01, 06:02 PM
Spooky title, good message :)

My best friend frequently reassures me he likes talking to me, which given a life time of feeling like an imposition is great.

Mith
2020-04-01, 10:56 PM
Agreed that the title is a little heart stopping.

Sometimes when your arms are full with your own life, it's hard to extend a hand out to support someone else. It's good to get reminder of the effect we can have on others.

Melayl
2020-04-02, 09:15 PM
I hope you are well (yeah, that title was a little scary...). I'm happy the Playground has been a good thing for you, and I'm glad you were able to find good things to focus on.
Stay well, and if you need help, never hesitate to reach out, to the Playground, to friends, or to anyone else. There are links in my sig for help, too.

The Fury
2020-04-03, 07:09 PM
First of all, sorry for the spooky thread title. It was honestly the best I could think of. Maybe I just have a weak imagination. In any case I thought it might be nice for folks to share moments in their own lives when they were moved by some act of kindness that was shown to them.



My best friend frequently reassures me he likes talking to me, which given a life time of feeling like an imposition is great.

Yeah, stuff like this. Sometimes a simple reassurance that someone actually wants you around can feel amazing.

On that note, I can't believe I forgot about this other story-- My best friend of almost fifteen years needed to move out of the state. I was really upset by this, not just because I would miss her, but that too. Many of my friends that moved away from town just stopped talking to me and I never saw or heard from them again. She didn't do that though. She promised to video chat with me every week, and barring unexpected life stuff she has.


Stay well, and if you need help, never hesitate to reach out, to the Playground, to friends, or to anyone else. There are links in my sig for help, too.

I appreciate you reminding us that there's help, and I have sought help out. In the meantime, I feel like it's more constructive and possibly better for my mental health to make deliberate note of the fact that people can actually be pretty amazing.

Durkoala
2020-04-04, 05:44 AM
Due to life circumstances, a few months ago I had to leave a part-time job I'd had for about six years. Everyone was really nice and saying that they'd miss me, which was very heartening, as it was a place that helped me a lot when things were going less well in other areas of my life and it was good to know that they liked me being there.

However, the one standout that I'll remember is one of what I called the 'old guard'—the people who'd been working there for more than five years and had integrated into the permanent fabric of the place (Jacob is the person who is in charge on Thursdays, Michelle is always ready to help out new recruits on Wednesday to Saturday, etc) coming up to me and thanking me for being an excellent and patient mentor who taught him how to do the work when he arrived as a volunteer.

Until then, I'd always thought of myself as a disorganised mess bumbling through the tasks and only excelling in tenacity and loyalty thanks to not having many other places I wanted to be. If I thought about my ability to mentor, it was as an awkward stammerer who people only listened to because I had the uniform and they didn't yet. But, thinking on it, I couldn't say that I wasn't patient and thorough in instructing...

Sometimes, other people see sides of you that are both invisible to you and far greater than your own self-image allows.

el minster
2020-05-18, 09:44 PM
First of all, sorry for the spooky thread title. It was honestly the best I could think of. Maybe I just have a weak imagination. In any case I thought it might be nice for folks to share moments in their own lives when they were moved by some act of kindness that was shown to them.



Yeah, stuff like this. Sometimes a simple reassurance that someone actually wants you around can feel amazing.

On that note, I can't believe I forgot about this other story-- My best friend of almost fifteen years needed to move out of the state. I was really upset by this, not just because I would miss her, but that too. Many of my friends that moved away from town just stopped talking to me and I never saw or heard from them again. She didn't do that though. She promised to video chat with me every week, and barring unexpected life stuff she has.



I appreciate you reminding us that there's help, and I have sought help out. In the meantime, I feel like it's more constructive and possibly better for my mental health to make deliberate note of the fact that people can actually be pretty amazing.

thats very nice. if you need peace of mind you could try my formula: take everything with an equal lack of seriousness.

The Fury
2020-05-18, 10:42 PM
thats very nice. if you need peace of mind you could try my formula: take everything with an equal lack of seriousness.

Yeah, that hasn't helped. I get that works for a certain kind of personality, not me though. If it works for you, more power to you I guess.

el minster
2020-05-18, 10:47 PM
Yeah, that hasn't helped. I get that works for a certain kind of personality, not me though. If it works for you, more power to you I guess.

It was a joke you, most people don't get any effect from it.

The Fury
2020-05-18, 10:52 PM
It was a joke you, most people don't get any effect from it.

Oh. I should probably be up front that I'm kind of dense.

el minster
2020-05-19, 12:04 AM
Density will save you in upcoming apocalypse. It protects you from radiation.