Creative Challenge: What's the town crier saying?

[Cyclops08]

https://i.postimg.cc/NjHFZyJG/autocrat.jpg

[Imbalance]

https://i.postimg.cc/NjHFZyJG/autocrat.jpg

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Pleated skirts and gaudy jewelry on sale now!"

[Misterwhisper]

I wouldn’t have to do this job if you plebes would learn to read!

[Luccan]

https://i.postimg.cc/NjHFZyJG/autocrat.jpg

Do you wear no shirt and pants on your head? Make ineffective tridents out of dulled horns? Plead for help from strange men with skull scepters? You might be just what we're looking for! Join the Hireling And Follower Guild Of Overwhelming Danger! Join HAFGOOD!

[daremetoidareyo]

"Wand of orcus! Get your wand of orcus here! Some stipulations may apply."

[SociopathFriend]

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Pleated skirts and gaudy jewelry on sale now!"

"By order of his majesty, Moy Rustang, all woman of the kingdom are hereafter to wear miniskirts!"

[DeadMech]

https://i.postimg.cc/NjHFZyJG/autocrat.jpg

In this town
Don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everybody scream
Won't ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now!

This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

[KorvinStarmast]

As an aside, he looks more like a burgermeister or a mayor, dressed like that.

But what's he yelling about?

"Hear Ye, Hear Ye!
The Town Council has decreed that henceforth, all citizens are required to wear underwear!
The Town Council has further decreed that underwear must be worn on the outside so that we can check!
Hear Ye, Hear Ye!"


Yes, I borrowed that from Young Frankenstein

[stoutstien]

Nothing. He has been cursed with a permanent silence spell. The townsfolk think it is an elaborate display of showmanship. If the party takes the time to read the parchment that the crier is waving about it is a plea for help.

[Corran]

He doesn't seem pleasant. So depending on if the adventurers just arrived or left, it could either be ''Get off my lawn!'', or ''Release the Kraken''. Is that a horrid wilting scroll in his hand?

Someone from the crowd is looking up, so he could be simply saying ''It's about time we did something about these damned crows!''.

[ShikomeKidoMi]

Looking at that scepter, I imagine he's saying:
"The city council would like remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park. People are not allowed in the dog park. It is possible that you might see hooded figures in the dog park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the dog park. Do not look at the dog park. And especially, for any period of time, do not look at the hooded figures. The dog park will not harm you."