Okizruin's "All by myself"

[jakarta]

Gm reserve.

https://www.myth-weavers.com/sheet.html#id=2182655

[jakarta]

We can post rules and character information above.

Are you ok with an "Escape from the Slave Pits" striped style adventure?

The "You come to with a splitting headache. You are strapped to a chair. Why are there saws on that table? Is that a battle going on the the hallway?" type situation.

[Okizruin]

To be honest, I prefer something a little less dark. Another thing! I am going to have skill points in Truespeak (from Tome of Magic) for flavor purposes only, since that system was never playtested. I'm still working on my character sheet right now.

[jakarta]

To be honest, I prefer something a little less dark. Another thing! I am going to have skill points in Truespeak (from Tome of Magic) for flavor purposes only, since that system was never playtested. I'm still working on my character sheet right now.


Ok.

You are in your room at the county wayside inn, counting your last coppers left from the gig that got you run out of the city. You will need to be finding work soon.

Honest or Dodgy?

Answer when your character is ready.

[Okizruin]

Trelzin prefers honest jobs, especially since those tend to draw less attention from guards. Yes, he knows how to pick locks and fiddle with traps, but he saves those tricks for dungeon delving.

[jakarta]

Ok. How do you go about finding honest work?

[Okizruin]

Ok. How do you go about finding honest work?

Is there a job board or the like at the inn? (OOC: To be honest, I am not the most creative.)

[jakarta]

(So, playing against type?)

On the wall outside the inn you find your trope, err.. job board.

Mrs. Gurdle desires Guard for Pies. Reward 1 slice of pie.

The Grazer's Association requires 1-3 individuals to guard a flock. Reward 20 gp per week.

Trapper wanted. Inquire at tower 2 miles NE.

Exterminator wanted. Inquire at mill.

Wanted, stable boy. At Livery.

[Okizruin]

I head over to the mill, then. (OOC: I only picked factotum since they're pretty much the only class that's a proper jack-of-all-trades.)

[jakarta]

QUOTE=Okizruin;24477134]I head over to the mill, then.

(OOC: I only picked factotum since they're it is pretty much the only class that's a proper jack-of-all-trades.)[/QUOTE]


You assume that the mill is located somewhere along the road marked by the sign stating "Mill Road'.

Down that road you walk.

[roll0]

The sky is clear; the weather warm and sunny.

[jakarta]

(Oh, Dear!)

Listen check.

[Okizruin]

(Oh, Dear!)

Listen check.

(OOC: It's been a while, so I don't remember how to roll dice here.)

[jakarta]

[*roll]1d20+bonus[/roll]
remove the * and use a number for the bonus.

[Okizruin]

(Oh, Dear!)

Listen check.

No skill points invested in Listen, so just a WIS check... [roll0]

[jakarta]

One side of the road is wooded, the other is pasture.

The road bends towards the wooded side.

You hear talking growing near from around the bend.

[Okizruin]

One side of the road is wooded, the other is pasture.

The road bends towards the wooded side.

You hear talking growing near from around the bend.

I draw my scimitar and approach the voice(s) with caution.

[jakarta]

Well, you head towards the voice, so since the ogre is walking at a pretty good clip it is about 20 ft from you when it sees you and stops.

It is holding a pretty big club and has green skin. Cocking its head it asks, "Yew 'av PAR FEY?"

[Okizruin]

Well, you head towards the voice, so since the ogre is walking at a pretty good clip it is about 20 ft from you when it sees you and stops.

It is holding a pretty big club and has green skin. Cocking its head it asks, "Yew 'av PAR FEY?"

I say, in Orcish: "What did you say?" (OOC: I have no idea what the ogre just said...)

[jakarta]

The ogre raises an eyebrow. <<orcish>> Pardon me, would you have any parfait? <<note: that last word isn't in orcish,>>

[Okizruin]

Before I respond, may I make a Knowledge(local) check to learn the location of an eatery that serves parfait?

[jakarta]

Yes, you may.
In the future, go ahead and roll any check you think we might need. I'll decide to ignore it or not.

[Okizruin]

Making a Knowledge (local) check: [roll0]

[jakarta]

There is a Dairy Queen about 3 days walk east of here. In the middle of Sandersville.

[Okizruin]

There is a Dairy Queen about 3 days walk east of here. In the middle of Sandersville.

<<Orcish>> "I don't have one, but there's an eatery in Sandersville, three days away, that should serve them."

[jakarta]

<<Can you show me?>>

sense motive check

[Okizruin]

<<Can you show me?>>

sense motive check

Another untrained check? Not good... [roll0]

[jakarta]

From his tone of voice it is obvious that this is not a request. He just ordered you to take him there.

[Okizruin]

From his tone of voice it is obvious that this is not a request. He just ordered you to take him there.

I reluctantly agree to lead him to Sandersville; luckily, my ring means that I can go without food or drink, but I still need to sleep, though...

[jakarta]

Your path will take you back by the inn. How will you handle that?

This is a talkative ogre. Keeps going on and on about Tonky Donky and parfait.

[Okizruin]

Your path will take you back by the inn. How will you handle that?

This is a talkative ogre. Keeps going on and on about Tonky Donky and parfait.

Passing by the inn is no problem; I'm not in debt or such. I remain silent, since I have no idea what "Tonky Donky" is.

[jakarta]

Passing by the inn, the ogre says "Oh. Lunch" and steps toward a horse tied at the rail...

[Okizruin]

Passing by the inn, the ogre says "Oh. Lunch" and steps toward a horse tied at the rail...

<<Orcish>> "That horse belongs to another. Don't."

[jakarta]

SMACK!!!

The ogre clubs the horse over the head and catches it in mid fall. He rejoins your path as though this is the most normal thing in the world.

[Okizruin]

SMACK!!!

The ogre clubs the horse over the head and catches it in mid fall. He rejoins your path as though this is the most normal thing in the world.

<<Orcish>> "How dare you. I said that horse belongs to someone else!"

[jakarta]

He seems unconcerned with your opinion.

(1 am here. Going to bed for a while.)

[Okizruin]

He seems unconcerned with your opinion.

(1 am here. Going to bed for a while.)

I reluctantly go into the inn to find out whose horse the orc/ogre hybrid stole... (OOC: Also, I did say that Truenaming is pretty much unplayable as written, correct?)

[jakarta]

I reluctantly go into the inn to find out whose horse the orc/ogre hybrid stole... (OOC: Also, I did say that Truenaming is pretty much unplayable as written, correct?)

On enworld there are some articles by the author of the system with errata.

--
The ogre makes an irritated noise as you walk away, but this is replaced by chomping and chewing by the time you reach the door.

Entering the in you find several patrons 'hiding' in the back corner.

The dumpy hafling proprietress 'exclaims' in a huffy whisper, "Why did you bring that ogre here?"

A human man in worksman clothes yells, "Yah Ogre kilt mah HOSS!" , then everyone else shushes him with dirty looks the blows from napkins.

[Okizruin]

On enworld there are some articles by the author of the system with errata.

--
The ogre makes an irritated noise as you walk away, but this is replaced by chomping and chewing by the time you reach the door.

Entering the in you find several patrons 'hiding' in the back corner.

The dumpy hafling proprietress 'exclaims' in a huffy whisper, "Why did you bring that ogre here?"

A human man in worksman clothes yells, "Yah Ogre kilt mah HOSS!" , then everyone else shushes him with dirty looks the blows from napkins.

I approach said human. <<common>> "I tried to stop the orc/ogre hybrid from eating your horse, but he wouldn't listen. I have a few gold coins to spare if you're fine with buying a new horse."

(OOC: I don't know where to look in enworld.)

[jakarta]

I approach said human. <<common>> "I tried to stop the orc/ogre hybrid from eating your horse, but he wouldn't listen. I have a few gold coins to spare if you're fine with buying a new horse."

(OOC: I don't know where to look in enworld.)

(the forum is searchable)

He points at you, "ANDH Da Saddle! Toofidy!"

This might require diplomacy...

[Okizruin]

(the forum is searchable)

He points at you, "ANDH Da Saddle! Toofidy!"

This might require diplomacy...

Do a horse and saddle really cost 250 gold? I try to remember with a Knowledge (local) check. [roll0]

[jakarta]

Do a horse and saddle really cost 250 gold? I try to remember with a Knowledge (local) check. [roll0]

It's on the high end for a new saddle and a heavy farm horse.

[Okizruin]

It's on the high end for a new saddle and a heavy farm horse.

"I don't have that much gold on me right now, but I promise to come back and work the difference off once I get this hybrid over to Sandersville, alright?" (OOC: First off, I suck at diplomacy, even though I prefer it, and second, I tried using a Google search with no luck.)

[jakarta]

"I don't have that much gold on me right now, but I promise to come back and work the difference off once I get this hybrid over to Sandersville, alright?" (OOC: First off, I suck at diplomacy, even though I prefer it, and second, I tried using a Google search with no luck.)
(no. the site forum search. www.enworld.com or maybe org.)

Roll an untrained diplomacy check.

[Okizruin]

Performing a flat d20 check since my CHA is 10: [roll0] (OOC: Also, a username would help a lot, to be honest.)

[jakarta]

You'll have to mine that out yourself.

see if this loads for you and is of interest.

www.montecook.com/cgi-bin/page.cgi?mc_diary13

---

'Fidee down, and I'll work the rest uta yah!'

"I'm a lawyer." pipes up a well dressed half elf, who begins drawing up papers.

"I'm a notary." says the inn keeper.

[Okizruin]

I fork over 50 gold. "Do you want me to work it off now, or are you willing to wait until I do my other errand first?"

[jakarta]

They, and I, all raise an eyebrow. "How could you work it off now?" asks the inn keep as she finishes getting her seal from under the counter.

[Okizruin]

They, and I, all raise an eyebrow. "How could you work it off now?" asks the inn keep as she finishes getting her seal from under the counter.

"I've got a few errands to do anyway; I got to take the hybrid to another city for his parfait first, then once that's done, I am going to check the job board again, since it'll be a few days." (OOC: I acknowledge the existence of things changing in real time, thus the extermination job may no longer be valid.)

[jakarta]

"Parfait?", asks the innkeeper?

"Sign here." says the lawyer. "Here in you agree to return with in 32 days to begin performing 226 gold pieces, as reckoned by this Realms Department of Treasury, according the the value deemed for such coins for the previous fiscal year by the Commission of Currency and Labour,, or deem the equivilent in Coin or Gem,, assay fee may be required."

[Okizruin]

"Parfait?", asks the innkeeper?

"Sign here." says the lawyer. "Here in you agree to return with in 32 days to begin performing 226 gold pieces, as reckoned by this Realms Department of Treasury, according the the value deemed for such coins for the previous fiscal year by the Commission of Currency and Labour,, or deem the equivilent in Coin or Gem,, assay fee may be required."

I explain the situation to the group, explaining that the hybrid wanted a parfait, but the only place I knew that can sell them is all the way in Sandersville.

[jakarta]

I explain the situation to the group, explaining that the hybrid wanted a parfait, but the only place I knew that can sell them is all the way in Sandersville.

"Well, they won't want him in Sandersville, much less Tennill. Here..."
She gives you a 20 lbs bag of peanuts and a tub of cocoa powder.
"Try to make him one before you get there."

Do you sign the contract?

[Okizruin]

I sign the contract, leave, and politely ask the hybrid, in Orcish, how to make a parfait, showing him the peanuts and cocoa powder they gave me.

[jakarta]

By this point the ogre has eaten the front half of the horse.

He replies in common, or tries to anyway.
"TokyDoky tok abut Par Fay, bot TokyDoky newt say haw make Par Fay.

Ve go naw. Youse take Krehs to Par Fay."

He stands, tossing the back half of the horse over his non-club resting shoulder.

[Okizruin]

By this point the ogre has eaten the front half of the horse.

He replies in common, or tries to anyway.
"TokyDoky tok abut Par Fay, bot TokyDoky newt say haw make Par Fay.

Ve go naw. Youse take Krehs to Par Fay."

He stands, tossing the back half of the horse over his non-club resting shoulder.

I try a Knowledge (local) check to recall who this "TokyDoky" is... [roll0]

[jakarta]

Something is tickling your memory...
INT check to see if you can pull it together.

[Okizruin]

Something is tickling your memory...
INT check to see if you can pull it together.

Got it! [roll0]

[jakarta]

Wait....
Talking Donkey?

Could he mean Eddie "the trick is getting him to shut up" MacMurphy? The cursed comedic bard?

A very bad comic who got run out of pretty much every town, then said the wrong thing to a wizard or something...Turned him into a real jacka$$.

[Okizruin]

Aw crud. I try to recall if I saw the orc/ogre hybrid's face on any wanted posters. (OOC: Do I need to make a check?)

[jakarta]

If you ever feel the need to ask, just roll the check.

and, Yes.

[Okizruin]

If you ever feel the need to ask, just roll the check.

and, Yes.

(OOC: As in, yes, the hybrid is on at least one wanted poster?)

[jakarta]

As in you need to roll the check.

You and the ogre are walking out of the hamlet containing the inn. Everyone who sees the pair of you make themselves scarce quick.

[Okizruin]

Making a Knowledge (local) check then! [roll0]

[jakarta]

You're pretty sure you've seen his face on an "alive only" child support warrant.

[Okizruin]

You're pretty sure you've seen his face on an "alive only" child support warrant.

I lead the hybrid over to the sheriff; maybe the bounty will be enough to pay for that horse. A shame I'll have to break that parfait promise, though.

[jakarta]

The next town you would pass though is Adrian. You think there is a Constable there. You have time to think of how to handle it.

Random encounter checks
[roll]1d8[roll]
[roll]1d8[roll]
[roll]1d8[roll]

[jakarta]

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

let's try that again

[jakarta]

As the sun starts to set, The ogre asks "Waw ve seep?"

[Okizruin]

As the sun starts to set, The ogre asks "Waw ve seep?"

I try to find shelter, despite my lack of outdoorsman skills. [roll0] (OOC: Can't use inspiration due to being untrained.)

[jakarta]

You find an abandoned cotton shed a ways off the road.

Will you start a fire?

(You didn't build this character correctly. 1, you over specialized to be a jack of all trades. 2, a wide skill distribution makes the Inspiration ability more useful. When you level you should have a good idea of what skills to buy based on what untrained checks you had to make.)

[Okizruin]

You find an abandoned cotton shed a ways off the road.

Will you start a fire?

(You didn't build this character correctly. 1, you over specialized to be a jack of all trades. 2, a wide skill distribution makes the Inspiration ability more useful. When you level you should have a good idea of what skills to buy based on what untrained checks you had to make.)

(OOC: I have no idea how to build a factotum correctly, for one.) I will start a fire with what little resources I have.

[jakarta]

(OOC: I have no idea how to build a factotum correctly, for one.) I will start a fire with what little resources I have.


Live and learn.

Starting a fire is easy enough.

The ogre eats the rest of the horse.

Any attempts at conversation?

[Okizruin]

Live and learn.

Starting a fire is easy enough.

The ogre eats the rest of the horse.

Any attempts at conversation?

<<orcish>> "What do you wanna talk about besides parfait?"

[jakarta]

I'm going to sleep now and will pick up ogre conversations after breakfast.

[jakarta]

"Youse dells me a story." suggests the ogre.

<<But don't make it about food. That is why my previous companion is no more.>>

[Okizruin]

I try recalling some stories known to martial adepts. <Making a Martial Lore check.> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Yes. You know a story.

So tell it.

[Okizruin]

I tell him the tale of the rise of the Desert Wind martial style. (OOC: I apologize if this is unacceptable for you.)

[jakarta]

oh...I wanted you to tell me the story.

Perform: oratory or storytelling. yes, I know the mod is the same, but specify which you use.

[Okizruin]

I try my best, but expect to fumble after a few sentences... <Perform: Oratory> [roll0]

[jakarta]

He listens intently to your story. He seems pleased.

<<It is time to sleep. Remember, I can see in the dark, run faster than you can, enjoy midnight snacks, and have spot as a class skill. (Good night Weasly. I'll probably eat you in the morning.)>>

Any night time shenanigans on your part?

[Okizruin]

After my 2-hour nap (which counts as 8 hours of sleep thanks to the ring of sustenance), I make sure my Lightning Gauntlets are shaped, and my 1 point of essentia is invested in them, just so I am not off-guard if he's ready to attack me for his next meal.

[jakarta]

Night time encounter check.

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

[jakarta]

What are your plans in the morning.

It would take you most of the day to get to Adrian.

(I'm going offline a while. )

[Okizruin]

I attempt to, again, figure out if he plans to attack me anytime soon. <Sense Motive> [roll0]

[jakarta]

This ogre thinks with his stomach and doesn't plan too far ahead. You'd better arrange breakfast or brunch.

So, what is your plan today? Main road or cross country? Avoid contacts or lead him to law enforcement?

Any other grand schemes? Petty ones?

[Okizruin]

I cook a quick meal for the hybrid. I make a Knowledge (local) check to recall the best route to law enforcement. [roll0]

[jakarta]

What's for breakfast? Do you have anything in your inventory, or is it going to be peanut-chocolate surprise?

You can be at the constable station in Adrian by late afternoon.

[Okizruin]

I attempt to scavenge the local area for food. <Survival Check> [roll0]

[jakarta]

You spend an hour finding berries, seeds, grubs, and an unfortunate wood chuck.

When you return the ogre is gone.

Do you stay and cook something up, or...?

[Okizruin]

I go look for the hybrid. (OOC: I deemed him a hybrid because he has green skin and can speak Orcish.)

[jakarta]

I figured that.

Survival check to track.

Are you taking your found food with you?

[Okizruin]

I figured that.

Survival check to track.

Are you taking your found food with you?

I put it in my handy haversack and begin searching. <Survival Check> [roll0]

[jakarta]

After a bit of trying to track him around a pasture, he finds you.

"Orn IN."

He is wearing a very fresh sheepskin on one leg as a legging and is munching on a leg of mutton.

[Okizruin]

After a bit of trying to track him around a pasture, he finds you.

"Orn IN."

He is wearing a very fresh sheepskin on one leg as a legging and is munching on a leg of mutton.

I present him with what I managed to hunt/forage. <<orcish>> "For later."

[jakarta]

He makes an appreciative grunt, puts the offered nash in his bag, and tosses a pair of boots at you.

"Itch vey?"

[Okizruin]

He makes an appreciative grunt, puts the offered nash in his bag, and tosses a pair of boots at you.

"Itch vey?"

I put the boots in the haversack and resume taking him to the authorities...

[jakarta]

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

Any attempts at conversation?

[Okizruin]

Any attempts at conversation?

<<Orcish>> "So, what inspired you to try getting a parfait in the first place?" (OOC: Yeah, I got nothing else. Sorry.)

[jakarta]

"TokyDoky tok ot bot par fay. Made sahnd reel gud. Aunt tie."

[Okizruin]

"TokyDoky tok ot bot par fay. Made sahnd reel gud. Aunt tie."

I try to comprehend what he just said. <Intelligence check> [roll0]

[jakarta]

I try to comprehend what he just said. <Intelligence check> [roll0]

"TalkyDonkey talk ot bot parfait. Made sahnd real good. Aunt tie."

[Okizruin]

I attempt to figure out the best route to the authorities... <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

[jakarta]

You think you know the way.

As you near the hamlet of Adrian it begins to drizzle.

You realize that leading him to the constable will take you though the most populated part of the town

[Okizruin]

I attempt to figure out a better way. <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Adrian is at the border of 3 counties.

You could lead him though town towards Tennile and on to Sandersville.

or

You could lead him into underpopulated Johnson County to the small town of Wrightsville. They have a Sheriff.

Or you could take an extra day and lead him into Dublin. That is a substantial small city with guards and several restaurants.

[Okizruin]

I pick the second route, making sure to scavenge food for him on the way. <Survival> [roll0]

[jakarta]

I'm going to sleep now.

[jakarta]

[roll0]

The landscape is farms. Some active, some abandoned, some recently planted in pine.

You find wild herbs, but it is too early in the year for most fruit. Young, dumb, bunnies are a relatively easy catch though. He gobbles down what ever you bring.

[jakarta]

After a while, you come to activity at a crossroads.

A man on a horse blocks the way, and a long line of wagons and walkers are slowly crossing the intersection.

[Okizruin]

"Excuse me, but what is happening here?"

[jakarta]

"Funeral procession."

[Okizruin]

That's fair enough. I can wait that out, but I keep an eye on the hybrid to make sure he doesn't disrespect the dead.

[jakarta]

That's fair enough. I can wait that out, but I keep an eye on the hybrid to make sure he doesn't disrespect the dead.

He looks impatient.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: I can't think of anything, so I need some time.)

[jakarta]

(OOC: I can't think of anything, so I need some time.)


ok. I'll give you a day before you have to save vs gm boredom.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: There's also the fact I expected something like a dungeon crawl or such, thus the skills I picked.)

[jakarta]

You were sort of on your way to a crawl when you started this extended random encounter with a parfait seeking ogre.

[Okizruin]

I try to recall some orcish tales to distract the hybrid. <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

[jakarta]

I try to recall some orcish tales to distract the hybrid. <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

Great!
Tells us a story.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: This is basically the abridged version, if that's fine with you.)
<<Orcish>> "Let me tell you the tale of Yimkek, who underestimated his foes. Yimkek was an orc and a berserker, who sought to crush his enemies in the human lands. The chieftains told him not to rush in alone, for no amount of rage will overcome an enemy that outnumbers you a hundred to one. He did not listen, and he ended up falling to the humans, who faced him with spears, shields, and teamwork."

[jakarta]

(OOC: This is basically the abridged version, if that's fine with you.)
<<Orcish>> "Let me tell you the tale of Yimkek, who underestimated his foes. Yimkek was an orc and a berserker, who sought to crush his enemies in the human lands. The chieftains told him not to rush in alone, for no amount of rage will overcome an enemy that outnumbers you a hundred to one. He did not listen, and he ended up falling to the humans, who faced him with spears, shields, and teamwork."

"Dell won da ork vins."

[Okizruin]

(OOC: This is just to stall for time in-universe so the hybrid doesn't go on a rampage or such while the funeral procession goes on.)
<<Orcish>> "How about Ridmott then? Many years ago, Ridmott was born weak, and the clan was planning to leave him for dead. However, he still had the warrior's heart in him, and he fought in the trials with cunning instead of trying to overpower his siblings; he even bested his sister, said to be the strongest in the tribe, by stepping back when she swung her mighty axe downward. While she was trying to pull it out, he thrusted his spear right in her torso, but made sure to miss her heart; this was not a fight to the death. As a result of his cunning, he became the warboss of his clan, leading the Steelrain clan to victory over the dread necromancer Aldom."

[jakarta]

Spot check.

"Dell bot da nekkeranser."

[Okizruin]

(OOC: That was unexpected.) <WIS check due to being untrained in Spot> [roll0]

[jakarta]

You notice the rider has been listening to your storytelling.

Are ya gone Dell em bot da nekkeranser?

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Well, this is very unexpected. I don't want to resort to violence unless absolutely necessary, to be honest.) <<Orcish>> "Unfortunately, little is known about Aldom, except for the fact that he wrongly believed that he was born to remove all other life from the world and rule over death as an eternal tyrant. Of course, most people would not approve of this, for one reason or another."

[jakarta]

<<Those who wish the destruction of life are unwise.>>
"Ah da gud tings da et are life."

As the ogre finishes his musing you hear hooves.

The procession has passed and the rider moves on after it.

[Okizruin]

Alright, now that the procession has passed, I go on towards the road(s) to Johnson County.

[jakarta]

[roll0]

As you cross the intersection...

[jakarta]

.. the ogre tilts his head up and sniffs.

"Hummm?"

He turns and starts quickly striding the opposite way from the procession. You

You struggle to keep up.

[Okizruin]

I try my best to follow him, wondering what got his attention now!

[jakarta]

You pass freshly planted fields of {knowledge local or agriculture/farming}

The ogre steps off the road and into the yard of a white painted building baring the symbol of a sickle and flail (non military).

The sign out front proclaims SAND HILL SPRINGS PRIMITIVE BAPTIST CHURCH OF CERES

[Okizruin]

{{Attempting a Knowledge: Local check to see what's being grown in that field!}} [roll0]

[jakarta]

Rye.

The ogre is heading behind the church.

Spot check.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Well, I hope I can resolve this soon, so I can get to the delving.) <Untrained Spot check> [roll0]

[jakarta]

There is a folded sheet of paper on the ground.

[Okizruin]

I pick it up, unfold it, check both sides, and read it.

[jakarta]

It is a funeral program for Mr. C F Rainer.

Let's see, The family request donations to support the Future Grain Farmers in lieu of flowers.
Gathering, Memorial Service Sermon, 2 hour procession to Sardis Cemetery, hour for the grave side service and interment, return to church, dinner.

[Okizruin]

I try to find the hybrid again. <Untrained Survival Check> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Behind the church is a large blue portable awning embroidered with 5 inch high letters saying TANNER'S FUNERAL HOME.

What to guess what is under this awning?

(I'm going off line for a bit.)

[Okizruin]

Is the hybrid eating peoples' corpses?

[jakarta]

Is the hybrid eating peoples' corpses?

Have you never been to a rural funeral?

Miss matched crockery dishes of vegetables, fried chicken, sliced ham, and casseroles.

Cakes and pies.

and in this case an ogre stuffing himself with potatoes al gratin.

[Okizruin]

Have you never been to a rural funeral?

Miss matched crockery dishes of vegetables, fried chicken, sliced ham, and casseroles.

Cakes and pies.

and in this case an ogre stuffing himself with potatoes al gratin.
<<orcish>> "You're eating food meant for someone else. I challenge you to honorable combat." (OOC: I'm only do this since there may be no other option.)

[jakarta]

<<orcish>> "You're eating food meant for someone else. I challenge you to honorable combat." (OOC: I'm only do this since there may be no other option.)

A chuckling "No" is the reply as he chucks a summer squash casserole at you.

[roll0], crit ?[roll1] ; dam [roll2] (b)

He then turns his back to you while gobbling a sweet potato souffle while eyeing the candied yams.

[Okizruin]

A chuckling "No" is the reply as he chucks a summer squash casserole at you.

[roll0], crit ?[roll1] ; dam [roll2] (b)

He then turns his back to you while gobbling a sweet potato souffle while eyeing the candied yams.

Is the attack flat-footed and/or touch?

[jakarta]

Is the attack flat-footed and/or touch?

Well, since you asked...

The dish is vs flatfooted and is a blunt weapon.

The casserole itself is a bit soupy and is also vs touch, and counts a non-damaging splash weapon, so even a miss will cover at least your legs; a full hit covers your body in warm slimy cooked squash and onions.

(Man, I'm making myself homesick.)

[jakarta]

(either Google is spying on us or YouTube is reading my mind.)

https://youtu.be/3KtIBPwaRkk

[Okizruin]

(OOC: It's only a miss due to my +1 mithral chainshirt making my flat-footed AC 15.) ACK! Right in the chest; thankfully, my mithral chainshirt is nonstick, but I'll need to wash my trousers later. I advance on him and try to grapple him. (OOC: Normally, that'd provoke an Attack of Opportunity, but the ogre's unarmed and therefore can't make any.)

[jakarta]

(OOC: It's only a miss due to my +1 mithral chainshirt making my flat-footed AC 15.) ACK! Right in the chest; thankfully, my mithral chainshirt is nonstick, but I'll need to wash my trousers later. I advance on him and try to grapple him. (OOC: Normally, that'd provoke an Attack of Opportunity, but the ogre's unarmed and therefore can't make any.)

Roll for it big boy!

[Okizruin]

I reach out and attempt to grasp the hybrid! <Attempting melee touch attack, using a point of inspiration; 3 left this encounter> [roll0]
( OOC: https://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/specialAttacks.htm#grapple )

[jakarta]

I reach out and attempt to grasp the hybrid! <Attempting melee touch attack, using a point of inspiration; 3 left this encounter> [roll0]
( OOC: https://www.d20srd.org/srd/combat/specialAttacks.htm#grapple )

Ok, you're hugging his thigh. He seems amused, and dumps a dish of cream corn over your head before trying to brush you off...

(opposed grapple check portion of the grapple)

ogre's check: [roll0]

you roll along with your unarmed strike damage.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Before I make my check, can I use my Brains Over Brawn class feature here, or does this not count as an actual Strength check?)

[jakarta]

Can you link to an online text, or type out the ability ?

And do you know what Brunswick stew is?

[Okizruin]

(OOC:
Brains over Brawn (Ex): At 3rd level, you gain your
Intelligence bonus as a modifier on Strength checks,
Dexterity checks, and checks involving skills based on
Strength or Dexterity, such as Hide, Climb, and Jump. Also, I do not.)

[jakarta]

(OOC: Also, I do not.)

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjcqcSwxZXpAhX57XMBHR6mCA8QrbMEMAB6BAgDE AU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thespruceeats.com%2Fbrunswic k-stew-with-pork-and-chicken-3052066&usg=AOvVaw3s70UZk_ggXtT_HK5B0cpA

https://www.thespruceeats.com/brunswick-stew-with-pork-and-chicken-3052066

So, you're not a Southerner...

I'll go with yes on the Int mod. The description seems to indicate it is used on STR checks, and the title of the ability would indicate it is intended for this sort of situation.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Thanks for the approval!) <Grapple check> [roll0] <Unarmed Damage> [roll1]

[jakarta]

You grunt while thinking hard about leverage, but fail.

The ogre counter grapples.

Touch [roll0]

grapple [roll1], damage [roll2]

[Okizruin]

I attempt to counter his grasp! [roll0] (OOC: Nonlethal, correct?)

[jakarta]

Tie goes to the larger creature.

Let's say 4 lethal and 5 nonlethal, assuming your intention it to allow the fight to stop.

He lifts you up and dunks your head in a vat of Brunswick stew. He holds you there for a moment, then allows you to collapse, sputtering, in front of the table.

As you try vainly to get the pepper laced vinegar out of your eyes and nose, he dumps a tray of sliced ham down his throat, followed by the deviled eggs, sweeps all the fried chicken into his bag, tosses a whole blueberry pie in his mouth, then walks away, cake in each hand.

<<This should tide me over til we find parfait. Take what you want and come along. >>

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Ack. I'm a bit too humiliated to really continue. I curse my ill luck.)

[jakarta]

He is heading towards the cross road community of Scott. There are a few secondary roads, so you might be able to redirect him back to Wrightsville.

[Okizruin]

I try to figure out the best way to do so. <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Right at the next cross road.

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]

[Okizruin]

(OOC: I will let you continue, unless you're expecting me to do something at this point.)

[jakarta]

(OOC: I will let you continue, unless you're expecting me to do something at this point.)

Actually, I'm out of steam. 1 am here. I'll pick up in the morning.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Quick thing to note. Due to time zone differences, I will most likely be asleep when you wake up.)

[jakarta]

You see a sign. "Snell Bridge Ahead"

[Okizruin]

What do I know about Snell Bridge? <Knowledge: Local> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Named after the Snell farm near it. The. Snells paid for its construction.

[Okizruin]

I keep on going forward if there's nothing else to do.

[jakarta]

Do you want to go down to the creek and take a bath? That squash and cream corn is getting ripe...

[Okizruin]

That would be an acceptable detour. Glad I have a spare outfit.

[jakarta]

What do you tell the ogre?

[Okizruin]

<<Orcish>> "Feeling tired?" (OOC: I hope that getting him to nap will work.)

[jakarta]

"Vhy youse ast?"

[Okizruin]

"I'm going to take a bath, okay?"

[jakarta]

Sniff.

"Yah, youse steek."

[Okizruin]

"Will you stay here while I take a bath, or...?"

[jakarta]

"Will you stay here while I take a bath, or...?"

"I crum."

1-30 No one is there.
31-60 Some one is there.
61-90 Something is there.
91-100. You think no one is there, reroll.

Really! don't peek! [roll0]

[jakarta]

You walk down under the bridge and discover...



1-10 The sheriff fishing.
11-20 Mr. Snell inspecting the bridge
21-30 moonshiners [roll0]
31-40 skinny dippers [roll1] ,33% boys, 33-66 girls, 67-99 mixed, 100 werefrogs [roll2]
41-70 troll
71-80 Deputies [roll3] laying in wait for [roll4]
81-90 beautiful woman [roll5]
91-93 who is a siren
94-97 who is a nymph
98-99 hag
100 roll 3 times.

[roll6]

[jakarta]

...three beautiful women, one each of blond, brunette, and ginger, in a makeshift camp.

[Okizruin]

I ignore them; it's probably a trap. Three attractive ladies, in the middle of nowhere? Something's gotta be up.

[jakarta]

So, you just go take a bath? Right I front of them?

[Okizruin]

I go a little further along the creek first, hopefully out of sight of them.

[jakarta]

I go a little further along the creek first, hopefully out of sight of them.

You go aways round the first bend down stream about 50 ft.

1-30 No one is there.
31-40 Some one is there.
41-90 Something is there.
91-100. You think no one is there, reroll.

[roll0]

[jakarta]

Now that you have some privacy, what do you do?

[roll0]

them: [roll1]

[Okizruin]

Alright, I start cleaning up, since it seems like I'm alone.

[jakarta]

So...bathing, changing clothes?

Listen check

[Okizruin]

Yes, you would be correct there. <Listen> [roll0]

[jakarta]

The laughter of the ogre drifts around the bend.

[Okizruin]

Once I'm nice and clean, I get dressed then head back to the laughter.

[jakarta]

Now all nice and clean, you return to find that the women have packed up their camp and the ogre now holds their cooking pot.

He is chatting in Giant with the blond.

The smiling ginger approaches you.

"So you are the delightful man who is taking us out for parfait...

[Okizruin]

"Hands off, you three. I said only he is getting parfait."

[jakarta]

"Wait...you two...are together?

Not that there's anything wrong with that." she hastens to add.

[jakarta]

sense motive check.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: I suspect big trouble coming...) <Sense Motive, untrained> [roll0]

[jakarta]

She definitely thinks there is something wrong with that, but she is surprised rather than personally offended.

[Okizruin]

"Actually, it's not that kind of relationship. He accosted me and said he wanted parfait, so I am on a quest of sorts to get him that."

[jakarta]

Oh...Well, in that case, we'll help.



Then, quieter, Don't worry, we've got our own coin.

[Okizruin]

Something feels wrong here. <Sense Motive, untrained> [roll0]

[jakarta]

She definitely seems more chaotic than lawful, but then who are you to judge?

The ogre and the other two start up the path back to the bridge, and Ginger turns to follow.

2 spot checks.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: I curse my lack of creativity here.)
[roll0]
[roll1]

[jakarta]

The brunette has a large book strapped to her backpack, and Ginger's pouch looks a bit large.

Oh, hey! Look, a check you can make trained!

Know: arcane.

[Okizruin]

What kind of power is that? [roll0]

[jakarta]

What kind of power is that? [roll0]

The check was just to see if you recognized the probable spell book and component pouch. You did.

[Okizruin]

<<orcish>> "They're magic girls, not good!" (OOC: I hope they don't speak orcish)

[jakarta]

He replies in common.

"Vhy majink girls bad?"

Ginger looks at you over her shoulder. "Yes? Vhy?"

[Okizruin]

I try to recall what problems witches can pose. <Knowledge: Arcana> [roll0]

[jakarta]

Oh, there was that whole Munchkin County thing, the Mouse problem in Eastwick, the Blue Bell shortage, ....

but do you really want to bring any of that up?

[Okizruin]

I whisper to the hybrid in Orcish: "You like Blue Bell ice cream, correct?"
(OOC: Also, I'll be asleep by the time you reply.)

[jakarta]

Are you walking pass the 3 women to go whisper to the ogre?

(And do you know the Blue Bell reference? )

[jakarta]

https://youtu.be/63qtYi1nwcs

Blue Bell

[Okizruin]

I carefully walk around the witches, keeping my eyes on them so they can't do anything funny.

(OOC: How dare you rickroll me, and I'm going to bed now.)

[jakarta]

Crime of opportunity. Popped up in my suggestions while I was looking for this.

https://youtu.be/jMDNsHb-sI4

You step awkwardly around them while staring at each in turn.

They seem perplexed as to how they should react...

The ogre's reply is "What's blue Bell?"

[Okizruin]

I whisper back: "It's a brand of ice cream."

[jakarta]

At a normal for an ogre (loud) tone, "Need Boo Bell make Par Fey?"

[Okizruin]

At a normal for an ogre (loud) tone, "Need Boo Bell make Par Fey?"

I whisper back to the ogre: "You don't need ice cream to make a parfait." I head to the ladies and whisper to them: "Don't tell him, but I'm actually headed to a sheriff to turn him in for various crimes." I also tell them what crimes I've seen him do, as well as what I saw on the wanted poster, whispered so the ogre doesn't hear.

[jakarta]

I whisper back to the ogre: "You don't need ice cream to make a parfait." I head to the ladies and whisper to them: "Don't tell him, but I'm actually headed to a sheriff to turn him in for various crimes." I also tell them what crimes I've seen him do, as well as what I saw on the wanted poster, whispered so the ogre doesn't hear.

Hang on, let's not get too ahead of ourselves...

Bluff check on that ice cream lie.

[jakarta]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRyR2FKooq4

[Okizruin]

(OOC: That was a mistake on my part; I thought you didn't need ice cream to make a parfait.)

[jakarta]

(OOC: That was a mistake on my part; I thought you didn't need ice cream to make a parfait.)

(ok, let me play clean up, the the typical DnD fashion...)

(hang on need to reload, not all of the interface loaded...)

[Okizruin]

(OOC: That's understandable.)

[jakarta]

"WHAT YOU MEAN? Don't need eyes cream for PAR FEY? TonkyDonky say Par Fey av eyes cream!"

"Yeah, Eddy would know!

Looking at you like she is explaining to a small child, Ginger starts in "A parfait is ice cream, peanuts, and chocolate sauce."

"Hot Fudge." inserts the brunette.

She and the blonde then start debating if it has to be hot fudge or if just sauce will do.

Ginger and the ogre begin an animated discussion in Giant.

Then the underbrush and a small tree on the far side of the bridge are smashed and a wagon sized snail with flailing tentacles emerges from the smashed hole in the wood line and starts crossing the bridge!

[Okizruin]

"Look, a literal monster!" I point in the direction of the snail-like creature.

[jakarta]

They are already looking.

Oh! What will become of us?

Save us oh manly men!

Won't you protect us? nudges Ginger from behind you.

[Okizruin]

I approach the creature with caution; thankfully, I still have my Lightning Gauntlets shaped and my essentia invested.

[jakarta]

roll initiative

[roll0]

[Okizruin]

( OOC: This might be trouble, since I don't have any class features that affect initative. ) [roll0]

[jakarta]

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wvD1inok7Q4/W0ldi8ShKtI/AAAAAAAALWs/z-LHOphewdsdbManHsFS8gRLt34qOfAJgCLcBGAs/s1600/2018-07-14-FlailSnail-004.jpg

https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/rw3VIckWO6T6y_xYc-Q12U0tNAQ=/68x29:1211x672/720x405/media/img/upload/wire/2014/05/19/shrek1/original.jpg

https://cdn.theatlantic.com/thumbor/rw3VIckWO6T6y_xYc-Q12U0tNAQ=/68x29:1211x672/720x405/media/img/upload/wire/2014/05/19/shrek1/original.jpg

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/62/bc/12/62bc12345d063a84e8907527b288d5ad.jpg

It delays pending target, and when you walk up it flails at you with its mace like flail tentacles as you get within 10 ft of it, and takes if AoO as you step into your melee range.

1: [roll0], crit? [roll1]. dam [roll2]
2: [roll3], crit? [roll4]. dam [roll5]
3: [roll6], crit? [roll7]. dam [roll8]
4: [roll9], crit? [roll10]. dam [roll11]
5: [roll12], crit? [roll13]. dam [roll14]
6: [roll15], crit? [roll16]. dam [roll17]

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Only 2 hit for a total of 9 damage.) Wait a minute, this seems too suspicious. I attempt to disbelieve the illusion! (OOC: I'm not rolling the Will save yet. I might be mistaken on the illusion bit.)

[jakarta]

ok.
Roll a will save and an intelligence check,

and while you stand and do that

the snail takes 5 more swings at you and then takes a 5 ft slime glide back.

1: [roll0], crit? [roll1]. dam [roll2]
2: [roll3], crit? [roll4]. dam [roll5]
3: [roll6], crit? [roll7]. dam [roll8]
4: [roll9], crit? [roll10]. dam [roll11]
5: [roll12], crit? [roll13]. dam [roll14]

[Okizruin]

<Will Save, boosted with Cunning Insight> [roll0]
<Intelligence check> [roll1]

[jakarta]

Oh, since you are disbelieving, those last attacks were vs flatfooted.

[jakarta]

And you know believe in the snail. .. with all your heart even. :smallbiggrin:

[Okizruin]

(OOC: That changed nothing, since the attacks that missed rolled below 15. Thank you, mithral chainmail.)

[jakarta]

And you know believe in the snail. .. with all your heart even. :smallbiggrin:

And its been long enough for the non lethal damage from the food fight to wear off.

[Okizruin]

I gonna try frying it with my Lightning Gauntlets. To Hit: [roll0] Damage: [roll1]

[jakarta]

You have to take a 5 ft step to get into melee range again.

Reflex save, dc 16 or fall prone in snail slime.

[Okizruin]

{{Reflex Save, I got a decent one.}} [roll0]

[jakarta]

Miss.

Snail's turn.

1: [roll0], crit? [roll1]. dam [roll2]
2: [roll3], crit? [roll4]. dam [roll5]
3: [roll6], crit? [roll7]. dam [roll8]
4: [roll9], crit? [roll10]. dam [roll11]
5: [roll12], crit? [roll13]. dam [roll14]

(it's a good idea to copy your attack routines on notepad)

It again glides back 5 ft after attacking.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: At -2 HP and dying.)

[jakarta]

350 xp for bravely facing the flail snail, and an additional 350 for other experience so far.

You hear gentle singing in you dreams, and see branches and clouds gently slide pass above you. You gaze difts over to Ginger looking down at you before darkness overtakes you again.

and we'll pick up again tomorrow when your character awakens...

Be advised that the forum doesn't seem to be sending tread notifications to my email again. Maybe we were just going so fast it needs to catch up.

[jakarta]

Oh, I fixed it.
It's real easy to hit the unsubscribe link in the email by accident.

[Okizruin]

(OOC: Actually, I would like to stop here and say my character bled out and died, if that's okay with you.)

[jakarta]

Well, it's been fun.
Would you like to reboot?

[Okizruin]

I'd like to take a break instead. Mind if I deleted my character sheet?

[jakarta]

That's fine. Let me know when you are ready to restart.

In case you were wondering... Snell Bridge Road is outside my hometown.

I wasn't able to attend my great uncle's funeral Friday, so I sorta worked it into the game. It was therapeutic.

Thank you.