Schlock Mercenary X: The Mundivore, or, "Eat it"

[keybounce]

AKA: "Just eat it", "The winning point of the moral compass", or ...

Welcome to another exciting installment in the ongoing adventures of Tagon's Toughs. Here we will discuss the hit webcomic Schlock Mercenary! (http://www.schlockmercenary.com)

These days, some people will get eaten by Schlock, and we might see a pretty explosion or two. We're seeing a war between barionic and non-barionic matter, as Andromeda and Milky Way fight a war long before Andromeda gobbles up Milky Way just because of gravity (lets face it, gravity sucks), with "Attack the healers" being the call of the battle. Of course, when an anti-matter bomb would only scratch the paint of the healer, fighting back requires ... unconventional forces.


Schlock Mercenary (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?63836-Schlock-Mercenary)
Schlock Mercenary (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?80727-Schlock-Mercenary)
Schlock Mercenary thread: The Tub is Full of Happiness Again (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?176728-Schlock-Mercenary-thread-The-Tub-is-Full-of-Happiness-Again)
Schlock Mercenary III: One million years of crowdsourced kitten videos (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?251176-Schlock-Mercenary-III-One-million-years-of-crowdsourced-kitten-videos)
Schlock Mercenary IV: Chrome and Punishment (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?335894-Schlock-Mercenary-IV-Chrome-and-Punishment)
Schlock Mercenary V: You're Missing Something Wonderful (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?405068)
Schlock Mercenary VI: Eat It, Kill It, Make Friends With It, Take a Bath in It (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?448314-Schlock-Mercenary-VI-Eat-It-Kill-It-Make-Friends-With-It-Take-a-Bath-in-It)
Schlock Mercenary VII: A T.A.D. Too Much Dialogue These Days (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?502918-Schlock-Mercenary-VII-A-T-A-D-Too-Much-Dialogue-These-Days)
And the most recent,
Schlock Mercenary VIII: insAIne in the mAInfrAIme (https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?560958-Schlock-Mercenary-VIII-insAIne-in-the-mAInfrAIme)



Hey, this is actually the X thread. Let me fix that then.

[keybounce]

OK, I have lost track of all the time clones at this point. Can someone help me?

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-07 has Tagon carrying a warhead, as a direct callback to an earlier. If I'm counting correctly, this is the third Tagon.

My memory:
The first was killed while doing a base infiltration that went fubar; he died making sure someone else got out. I can't find the link to that one. This was when the first timeline was past the "split point", when Andromeda was destroying Milky Way's gates to the point that when they realized they were being manipulated/attacked, it was no longer possible to respond.
This timeline was "reload game?" restored to a prior point with some extreme science abuse that allowed both Kevyn and a tiny schlock to return back with knowledge of what happened.

The second timeline had a Tagon that "mostly died" while delivering a warhead, and had to be regrown from leftovers; this took four months?

If alt-Kevyn is saying that this Tagon is smarter than his Tagon, then he's comparing the one that died in a fubar mission (as dumber than) to one that has explicitly denied being the same as the one that carried a warhead into a conflict to deploy it.

How much of this memory is accurate, and how much of the archive do I need to re-read?

EDIT: Corrected the pselling of 'Kevyn"

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Tagon's character has been written as a bit more thoughtful in recent years. He's able to talk with his dad, knows the limits of his own experience, has normal conversations with women, small things like that.

The Tagon Kevyn used to work with years ago was a very capable soldier, a good field commander and a decent human being whenever it really counted, but there has been some development over these years, and this Kevyn spent those years working with Petey.

Also, even back then Kevyn underestimated Tagon, he warned Pranger that Tagon might not get the triple cross because he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but Tagon got it just fine. The guy has a habit of thinking nobody can possibly be as smart as he is, and it's other Kevyn that learned humility from Elf.

[NEO|Phyte]

OK, I have lost track of all the time clones at this point. Can someone help me?

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-07 has Tagon carrying a warhead, as a direct callback to an earlier. If I'm counting correctly, this is the third Tagon.

My memory:
The first was killed while doing a base infiltration that went fubar; he died making sure someone else got out. I can't find the link to that one. This was when the first timeline was past the "split point", when Andromeda was destroying Milky Way's gates to the point that when they realized they were being manipulated/attacked, it was no longer possible to respond.
This timeline was "reload game?" restored to a prior point with some extreme science abuse that allowed both Kevyn and a tiny schlock to return back with knowledge of what happened.

The second timeline had a Tagon that "mostly died" while delivering a warhead, and had to be regrown from leftovers; this took four months?

If alt-Kevyn is saying that this Tagon is smarter than his Tagon, then he's comparing the one that died in a fubar mission (as dumber than) to one that has explicitly denied being the same as the one that carried a warhead into a conflict to deploy it.

How much of this memory is accurate, and how much of the archive do I need to re-read?

EDIT: Corrected the pselling of 'Kevyn"
I suspect that the original timeline Tagon death probably shouldn't count, since the current Tagon never experienced said death due to time travel.
The warhead delivery death wasn't mostly dead, it was all the way dead, they rebuilt him from his most recent brain backup (which turned out to be 45 minutes prior)

[Lizard Lord]

From my read of the Planet Mercenary RPG the Xuvoth system was part of the League of Galactics. So it would seem odd that they would think P.D. being invaded by the entities whoose invasion of the Xuvoth system lead to them, or anyone, no longer having a presence there.

[factotum]

From my read of the Planet Mercenary group the Xuvoth system was part of the League of Galactics. So it would seem odd that they would think P.D. being invaded by the entities whoose invasion of the Xuvoth system lead to them, or anyone, no longer having a presence there.

It's not odd at all. Something that's happening to "other people" is very easy to ignore, especially when *not* ignoring it means you have to start fighting yourself. The old divide and conquer strategy has been used many times, because it generally works.

[sihnfahl]

It's not odd at all. Something that's happening to "other people" is very easy to ignore, especially when *not* ignoring it means you have to start fighting yourself. The old divide and conquer strategy has been used many times, because it generally works.
Especially when one target is an overbearing AI with a superiority complex (if not justified by his relative power in the MW galaxy) that loves to meddle in affairs to, uh, 'nudge' people into doing the right thing. Or what he thinks is the right thing.

[Thomas Cardew]

That's ... not how the first responder protocol works. Yes, the first officer on scene is the incident commander, but that role can and frequently is assumed by senior or more qualified officers when they arrive on scene after being caught up. Otherwise you'd end up with stuff like a fire lieutenant running the entirety of tornado response because his truck was first one to respond to a call.

[Shalmon]

Senior or more qualified officers when they arrive on scene after being caught up.

Catching up might take time they don't have, so does convincing them that the the U.N.S officers are more qualified. I don't expect our new admiral being able to get rid of that job soon.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

That's ... not how the first responder protocol works. Yes, the first officer on scene is the incident commander, but that role can and frequently is assumed by senior or more qualified officers when they arrive on scene after being caught up. Otherwise you'd end up with stuff like a fire lieutenant running the entirety of tornado response because his truck was first one to respond to a call.

That's how it works in our world, where organizations like NATO do their best to have some kind of comparable ranks between their member states. In a big and wild universe were presumably some cultures just have an entirely different idea of what a military is it's still a silly protocol, but not to the point that I can't forgive the idea of it existing.

[Thomas Cardew]

Catching up might take time they don't have, so does convincing them that the the U.N.S officers are more qualified. I don't expect our new admiral being able to get rid of that job soon.

Agreed, but that's because Howard wants the Toughs in charge so he's jumping through hoops to put the Toughs in charge anyways. In universe, they'd be subordinating themselves to Petey or forming another fleet-mind to work with him the way the multi-species alliance did before because that's the only type of entity capable of handling a simultaneous battle across multiple systems and dimensions. First here which disbanded (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-05-05) And then here (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-06-11) which didn't (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-07-20). Just with a better off--switch to avoid another creating another psycho bear. Pretty much every major military would have been working on ways-to-make-sure-this-never-happens-again-other-than-not-forming-one-because-we-really-need-this-tool after the first one.


That's how it works in our world, where organizations like NATO do their best to have some kind of comparable ranks between their member states. In a big and wild universe were presumably some cultures just have an entirely different idea of what a military is it's still a silly protocol, but not to the point that I can't forgive the idea of it existing.

Eh. He was explicitly referencing 'old', which usually means our modern, and 'first responders' not military. As a first responder it was enough to jar me out of the comic. And NATO's a bad example as it's whole purpose is coordinate multiple member states armies.

[JavaScribe]

That... sure is an inflexible protocol.

[Rakaydos]

That's ... not how the first responder protocol works. Yes, the first officer on scene is the incident commander, but that role can and frequently is assumed by senior or more qualified officers when they arrive on scene after being caught up. Otherwise you'd end up with stuff like a fire lieutenant running the entirety of tornado response because his truck was first one to respond to a call.

What's being described in comic as "first responder" protocol, the characters themselves know better as "A sergent in motion outranks a louie who doesnt know what going on."

As first on the scene, the toughs get to put the reinforcements where they need them. And if that means delegating command to someone more qualified, that too is a prerogative of command. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-08)

Edit: of course, then they give it to the really rapidly moving sergent... *sigh*

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Okay, now they're being ridiculous. A protocol meant for armies does not apply to individual soldiers.

Though at this point Schlock probably technically is the largest non-pa'anuri fighting force in the galaxy, outweighing the UNS' battleplate collection by a factor of 100 or so, so he might have still gotten to be in charge if they used a less silly protocol. (Okay, okay, his employer might still get to be in charge, there is no single usually reasonable protocol that would put the sergeant personally in charge of a galaxy worth of ships.)

[Lizard Lord]

And NATO's a bad example as it's whole purpose is coordinate multiple member states armies.

Isn't that the whole purpose here?

[Kornaki]

Isn't that the whole purpose here?

I think the point is they are trying to use the simplest method possible to assign command here. NATO would be a pretty big waste of money if after 60 years and billions of dollars they haven't come up with something better to use amongst themselves.

There's probably a hidden agenda with picking this method, which is encouraging everyone to get off their butts and get over there to avoid being bottom of the pecking order. This will hopefully avoid everyone deciding to just wait it out and let others fight.

[Thomas Cardew]

What's being described in comic as "first responder" protocol, the characters themselves know better as "A sergent in motion outranks a louie who doesnt know what going on."

As first on the scene, the toughs get to put the reinforcements where they need them. And if that means delegating command to someone more qualified, that too is a prerogative of command. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-08)

Edit: of course, then they give it to the really rapidly moving sergent... *sigh*


"First responders" doesn't refer to military personal, it's typically for people who respond to emergencies most commonly accidents and natural disasters, but also terrorism. The US Homeland Security defines it is as

"The term "first responder" refers to those individuals who in the early stages of an incident are responsible for the protection and preservation of life, property, evidence, and the environment, including emergency response providers as defined in section 2 of the Homeland Security Act of 2002 (6 U.S.C. § 101), as well as emergency management, public health, clinical care, public works, and other skilled support personnel (such as equipment operators) that provide immediate support services during prevention, response, and recovery operations"

The system Howard is referring to, since he called it ancient today which means our contemporary, is probably the incident command system (ICS) which was developed by the Bush II administration in response to the CF that was Katrina response. It establishes command lines and procedures precisely so that, the on-site commanders can handle the immediate emergencies while accessing additional resources and transferring command upwards if needed. It's for civilian emergency/first responders. Particularly because the US military can't freely operate in the US without authorization, hence the need for Governors to mobilize the national guard in a crises.


Okay, now they're being ridiculous. A protocol meant for armies does not apply to individual soldiers.

Though at this point Schlock probably technically is the largest non-pa'anuri fighting force in the galaxy, outweighing the UNS' battleplate collection by a factor of 100 or so, so he might have still gotten to be in charge if they used a less silly protocol. (Okay, okay, his employer might still get to be in charge, there is no single usually reasonable protocol that would put the sergeant personally in charge of a galaxy worth of ships.)

So much this. Schlock's operating in a clearly defined existing command structure, just because he was first on scene doesn't mean he now commands the Toughs.


Isn't that the whole purpose here?

I meant that NATO is for coordinating an existing alliance, not managing an ad hoc one. It's reason for existence is coordinating military forces, while first responder protocol is for responding to an emergencies not fighting a war.

[uncool]

What's being described in comic as "first responder" protocol, the characters themselves know better as "A sergent in motion outranks a louie who doesnt know what going on."

As first on the scene, the toughs get to put the reinforcements where they need them. And if that means delegating command to someone more qualified, that too is a prerogative of command. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2015-03-08)

Edit: of course, then they give it to the really rapidly moving sergent... *sigh*

The thing about "A sergent in motion outranks a louie who doesnt know what going on." is that it is and must be temporary - it lasts until the louie knows what's going on.

If there's enough time for Commodore Tagon to personally tell Schlock what's going on, there's enough time for Schlock to tell him what's going on and transfer command. Not to mention that the AIs seem to have all of the necessary information.

[Rakaydos]

The thing about "A sergent in motion outranks a louie who doesnt know what going on." is that it is and must be temporary - it lasts until the louie knows what's going on.

If there's enough time for Commodore Tagon to personally tell Schlock what's going on, there's enough time for Schlock to tell him what's going on and transfer command. Not to mention that the AIs seem to have all of the necessary information.

...yea, I wrote that before I saw they gave command to Schlock, believe it or not.

[uncool]

...yea, I wrote that before I saw they gave command to Schlock, believe it or not.

Ah yeah, sorry - didn't check the dates.

[tonberrian]

Let's be fair. Rank is a function of firepower, and Schlock is currently the strongest Milky Way space combatant by several orders of magnitude. And unfortunately for everyone else, the only Toughs' AI in the Milky Way is Suit-Cone. And she's not a real AI! (Maybe. Some fabber cycles devoted to making a better Suit AI wouldn't have gone amiss.)

[factotum]

You know, it's a good thing Schlock is derived from an ancient computer memory system, because at the moment he seems to be having no trouble being simultaneously his regular self aboard the Sergeant in Motion, a more-than-planet-sized dark matter entity, and also embedded into the ship's infosphere. Pretty sure that would drive most beings stark raving mad.

[DeTess]

You know, it's a good thing Schlock is derived from an ancient computer memory system, because at the moment he seems to be having no trouble being simultaneously his regular self aboard the Sergeant in Motion, a more-than-planet-sized dark matter entity, and also embedded into the ship's infosphere. Pretty sure that would drive most beings stark raving mad.

What I think we're seeing here is that particular checkov's gun finally being fired. I've got the feeling that, with the hardware Schlock currently has access to, he can rapidly become very qualified for the position he's currently in.

[HandofShadows]

What I think we're seeing here is that particular checkov's gun finally being fired. I've got the feeling that, with the hardware Schlock currently has access to, he can rapidly become very qualified for the position he's currently in.

Qualified to operate the system, yes. Responsible enough to operate the system without oversight, probably not. :smallbiggrin:

[Rockphed]

I find Petey's objection to Schlock unconvincing. Nobody in a modern military operates without support. Even in WWII, the leadership would probably not have been able to find the front without a massive staff deciphering reports and managing the maps. Schlock can probably tell the Commodore (or suit-cone) where he needs help and let them direct reinforcements for maximum effect. Letting Petey run the show would cut Schlock out of those decisions.

[DeTess]

I find Petey's objection to Schlock unconvincing. Nobody in a modern military operates without support. Even in WWII, the leadership would probably not have been able to find the front without a massive staff deciphering reports and managing the maps. Schlock can probably tell the Commodore (or suit-cone) where he needs help and let them direct reinforcements for maximum effect. Letting Petey run the show would cut Schlock out of those decisions.

I reckon that's Petey's main problem here, actually. It's not that he objects to Schlock being nominally in charge as long as he delegates stuff that needs delegating. The problem is that the things aren't being delegated to him.

[Thomas Cardew]

For me, it's less about 'finding' the front, otherwise we get into the military equivalent of the coastline paradox (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coastline_paradox), and more about knowing where it should be, what the objectives are, what the enemies' objectives are, what needs to happen to win the war. Actual strategy. Schlock understands his current battlefield. He has no idea where to go or what to do next, he needs someone to tell him that. Thus he is incapable of leading it an a meaningful way. He's also incapable of coordinating it, given that he can't 'manage' a conversation with Commodore Tagon and fight at the same time.

[factotum]

He's also incapable of coordinating it, given that he can't 'manage' a conversation with Commodore Tagon and fight at the same time.

Um, he totally *can* do that? He was happily killing Pa'anuri in his dark matter form while speaking to Commodore Tagon in his normal form and Petey in the infosphere.

[Rockphed]

Um, he totally *can* do that? He was happily killing Pa'anuri in his dark matter form while speaking to Commodore Tagon in his normal form and Petey in the infosphere.

He is just bad at not speaking in all forms at once (hence the commodore's wanting to hear the other half of his conversation).

[Thomas Cardew]

Um, he totally *can* do that? He was happily killing Pa'anuri in his dark matter form while speaking to Commodore Tagon in his normal form and Petey in the infosphere.

Poorly. He was doing it poorly. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-28)

[Rakaydos]

Poorly. He was doing it poorly. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-28)

But he has an appetite for learning. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-04-30)

[Windscion]

You know, if we knew how many of those six nodes Petey actually needs to run his generator, we'd have a much better idea of how bad the situation is.
Ah well, think happy thoughts. That's sure to work.

[factotum]

He needs all of them--he was already running at a power deficit to the Pa'anuri core generator when he had all six operational, due to the Andromeda galaxy having a much larger core than the Milky Way.

[Wayson]

You know, if we knew how many of those six nodes Petey actually needs to run his generator, we'd have a much better idea of how bad the situation is.
Ah well, think happy thoughts. That's sure to work.

He needs more than six to win, absent other factors. He was already losing with a fully intact generator before the invasion even started - his forces in Andromeda had been wiped out and he barely had enough available power to send one ship (the Toughs). Losing even one of the nodes is, while not apocalyptic, not good. Every node he loses reduces his already strained resources. What isn't clear is whether or not he will cease to be able to offer effective resistance after losing n nodes. He's clearly still able to fight with only five remaining.

[HouseRules]

They're going to win since the enemy forgot
17 The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.

The more tactics match strategy, the more things are going to plan.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

It kind of bothers me that the space fairies fly ships similar to the headquarters of the attorney drone collective. I figured that one image might have been one of the reasons those guys were phased out.

On the other hand it kind of excites me that the space fairies fly ships similar to the headquarters of the attorney drone collective. Does that mean they could finally be brought back as well? Give us one more silly "lawyers getting eaten" joke, just one.

[Thomas Cardew]

You know? I didn't realize I wanted 'Cosmic Dark Matter Entity Schlock eats the attorney drone collective head quarters and earns the remaining bounty in one go with associated payroll callback joke' before you said that but now....

[DeTess]

You know? I didn't realize I wanted 'Cosmic Dark Matter Entity Schlock eats the attorney drone collective head quarters and earns the remaining bounty in one go with associated payroll callback joke' before you said that but now....

They can't do that anymore though, as they sold off the bounty rights to that rent-a-cop mercenary organization.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

They can't do that anymore though, as they sold off the bounty rights to that rent-a-cop mercenary organization.

Which might well be part of Schlock's current chain of command... :smallbiggrin:

[Thomas Cardew]

They can't do that anymore though, as they sold off the bounty rights to that rent-a-cop mercenary organization.

I'm aware but as they say you always want what you can't have...

[Godskook]

"First responders" doesn't refer to military personal, it's typically for people who respond to emergencies most commonly accidents and natural disasters, but also terrorism.

The *term* "first responder" is as you say, but the *words* "first responder" do not. They're quite descriptive of something that, in the context of the comic's referenced protocol, could easily mean -only- military personnel. And given that this is a work of fiction set in space, you really shouldn't be enforcing the term definition on this.


The system Howard is referring to, since he called it ancient today which means our contemporary

"Ancient" has not always meant contemporary to the reader. It's often been other things, depending on the context.

[keybounce]

I just noticed.

In the "Asteroids" game panel, the "score" is the date of the comic.

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-03

So given the score, yes, it looks like we're winning :-)

[Windscion]

Okay, /now/ where is Schlock? 7 June 2020 update.

* Neolithic circuitry
* 0011100010101100 sequence

Which imply infosphere.

* Mini(?) Pa'anuri
* Some whole, some partly chewed.

which imply the Dark Matter layer.

And,
* Schlock looks like meatspace Schlock

Plus the knobby wire which the Pa'anuri use to link to the Barry realm, but that is probably part of the Pa'anuri ship teraport mechanism.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I read it as that he's mentally inside the pa'anuri reincarnation machine after having teraported with it, and unexpectedly all the pa'anuri he ate to gain all that mass are in there as well.

That may put some practical limitations on how many times he can repeat this performance.

[HandofShadows]

Schlock is in a virtual space. He gets to eat them again I guess?

[Spojaz]

This seems to be leading towards schlock getting to try all the points of his moral compass (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-07-22) out on the same people. In order.

[keybounce]

Lets see.
Ate them - check
Kill them? These haven't been killed yet, have they?
Make friends with them? ... Not sure how.
Take a bath in them? ... ummm...

[tyckspoon]

.. The Paanuri have a node on the central regulator station for their core generator, don't they.

Or I guess less dramatically on their own Hypergun station - wouldn't be enough to win the war, unlike destroying the Andromeda core generator, but it would remove Andromeda's ability to provide fire support to their Milky Way expedition.

[tonberrian]

Someone's going to have to use the word "missed" very soon... :smallbiggrin:

[Douglas]

.. The Paanuri have a node on the central regulator station for their core generator, don't they.

Or I guess less dramatically on their own Hypergun station - wouldn't be enough to win the war, unlike destroying the Andromeda core generator, but it would remove Andromeda's ability to provide fire support to their Milky Way expedition.
Yeah, I think so. Which means the Toughs are about to accomplish their impossible mission.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

The downside of a hyperspace death ray: it can hit anything.

I was going to say that it can hit itself, but I'm actually not sure of that. Do the hyperspace entrance and exit point have to lie on a straight line with entrance before exit?

[factotum]

Uncertain. However, I doubt it's as simple as the gun firing at itself. What it *might* do, though, is destroy the controller for the Pa'anuri core generator or something like that--it ain't going to be firing much without power, after all.

[Narkis]

I can't believe how much I'd missed the Toughs actually doing stuff and us actually seeing them.

[sihnfahl]

Uncertain. However, I doubt it's as simple as the gun firing at itself. What it *might* do, though, is destroy the controller for the Pa'anuri core generator or something like that--it ain't going to be firing much without power, after all.
Or it may be that simple.

Power would most likely have redundants. But the gun itself...

[Douglas]

Pretty explosion, there.

Let's see, the shot took out the Pa'anuri gunner, half of the gun, and the end of the incoming stream of energy that powered it. Mission complete, and while this doesn't win the war all by itself, it is a rather large part of what's needed.

[tonberrian]

Pretty explosion, there.

Let's see, the shot took out the Pa'anuri gunner, half of the gun, and the end of the incoming stream of energy that powered it. Mission complete, and while this doesn't win the war all by itself, it is a rather large part of what's needed.

I dunno... I'm expecting a pulled out shot where it also destabilizes the generator, too. I know it's long odds, but that's the way it's heading.

[Max_Killjoy]

Or the Pa'anuri have another gun.

[factotum]

Or the Pa'anuri have another gun.

This one was the size of a solar system, I seriously doubt they have a backup--although, as my previous comment proved, I'm obviously not the best at guessing this! However, in this case the note "The most powerful (and longest ranged) weapon for 12 million light years in any direction" certainly implies this is the only one they have, and since that's not an in-universe comment but something added by the author, it would not be a great move if he proves that to be untrue at some point.

[Max_Killjoy]

This one was the size of a solar system, I seriously doubt they have a backup--although, as my previous comment proved, I'm obviously not the best at guessing this! However, in this case the note "The most powerful (and longest ranged) weapon for 12 million light years in any direction" certainly implies this is the only one they have, and since that's not an in-universe comment but something added by the author, it would not be a great move if he proves that to be untrue at some point.

True.

Just waiting for the other shoe to drop on this sudden good turn of fortune.

[Kornaki]

It would still be a little weird if you have a strategic weapon that is the linchpin of your entire war effort, and you don't at least think about building a backup. The backup just needs to be a little smaller than the main weapon for the statement to be true. I agree it suggests that there isn't anything close in size though.

[sihnfahl]

It would still be a little weird if you have a strategic weapon that is the linchpin of your entire war effort, and you don't at least think about building a backup. The backup just needs to be a little smaller than the main weapon for the statement to be true. I agree it suggests that there isn't anything close in size though.
i don't think it was a linchpin in their strategy, but still a very powerful card.

They didn't have to send the fleet in against Petey's nodes, IIRC. The hypercannon took out one of Petey's power nodes without any assistance; it took a few weeks to charge, but once they had a firing solution, pop.

The fleet, I believe, was just going to be on an extermination mission (the paa'nuri noted they would have to kill all of the baryonic lifeforms anyway), which is easier to do than use the hypercannon when Petey learned not to use things that could be targeted by it for a normal power source.

Ah, and I forgot this little gem: when they took out the Shoemaker-levy with non-baryonic missiles (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-07-07).

[Max_Killjoy]

Looking at the comic again -- as someone noted above, it's possible that this hacked shot was lined up to take out the weapon itself and at least one node of the core generator, as the line of the shot is right back down the power feed.

[tonberrian]

Stop teasing us, Howard!

[Max_Killjoy]

Stop teasing us, Howard!

One of those instances in which the characters and the reader might be feeling something very similar.

[factotum]

Uh-oh. They're only six light-minutes away from a thing the size of a solar system that got blowed up? That does not sound like good news!

[Windscion]

Uh-oh. They're only six light-minutes away from a thing the size of a solar system that got blowed up? That does not sound like good news!

By a directional beam, albiet one on its 'broad' setting. So it wouldn't destroy everything, just enough to make control unworkable. Hopefully for a very very long time.

Added: Oh, and Petey lost his capital ships, so he isn't going to take control either.

[factotum]

By a directional beam, albiet one on its 'broad' setting.

I'm not concerned about the remnants of the beam, I'm thinking about the shockwave spreading out from the gun itself exploding. If you're standing next to a bomb it doesn't really matter to you if the bullet that sets it off was really carefully aimed, you're still in trouble!

[Ibrinar]

It would still be a little weird if you have a strategic weapon that is the linchpin of your entire war effort, and you don't at least think about building a backup. The backup just needs to be a little smaller than the main weapon for the statement to be true. I agree it suggests that there isn't anything close in size though.

With the amount of resources likely involved building a backup would have delayed their attack significantly though allowing Petey to build more of a foothold in their galaxy and maybe even discovering it. So maybe they decided to strike fast instead.

[tyckspoon]

I'm not concerned about the remnants of the beam, I'm thinking about the shockwave spreading out from the gun itself exploding. If you're standing next to a bomb it doesn't really matter to you if the bullet that sets it off was really carefully aimed, you're still in trouble!

Well, Ennesby is going with "You're gonna want to see this!" and not "Ok, we need to be somewhere else now," so it would appear he is at least not too concerned. And I think the main issue there would be potentially shrapnel, not an energy blast - they blew up a physical object, not set off a bomb, and while it's a *big* physical object the odds of being hit by a chunk of it that was not specifically aimed at them from a distance of several light minutes are pretty negligible


Edit: Actually I forgot about Space being Really, Really, Really Big. Anything physical coming off the destruction is not only enormously unlikely to be on a collision course with them, it's going to require something in the area of days to get there, as it won't be traveling anywhere near relativistic speeds. And the energy front will be greatly attenuated by the time it reaches their observation station, if there is any of it functionally left - the transuranic materials the Paanuri build with so they can even interact with the baryonic realm should handle that easily, let alone if the station/node they're in has any capacity for shields or gravitic controls that could be used to help absorb it.

[InvisibleBison]

I'm not concerned about the remnants of the beam, I'm thinking about the shockwave spreading out from the gun itself exploding. If you're standing next to a bomb it doesn't really matter to you if the bullet that sets it off was really carefully aimed, you're still in trouble!

They're in space, so there won't be a shockwave.

[HandofShadows]

But there is a blast front. :smalleek:

[sihnfahl]

But there is a blast front. :smalleek:
Eh, they'll be fine.

Nothing'll be Gone with the blastwave.

[tonberrian]

Um. Being in the same system as an explosion THAT big is inadvisable. I'm not sure there IS a minimum safe distance for "viewing" supernova. Not without some serious delays. That core generator very well might still turn unusable.

Edit: Yeaaaaaah. We're talking LIGHTYEARS away to survive.

[Max_Killjoy]

Um. Being in the same system as an explosion THAT big is inadvisable. I'm not sure there IS a minimum safe distance for "viewing" supernova. Not without some serious delays. That core generator very well might still turn unusable.

Edit: Yeaaaaaah. We're talking LIGHTYEARS away to survive.

Yeah, the lethal radius on this one's a doozy... if it's nearby any of the Andromeda core generator nodes, the DMEs are going to loose that too.

I think this is the the biggest BOOM the Toughs have ever been responsible for.

[Rockphed]

Looking at the appropriate "What If" (https://what-if.xkcd.com/73/), I am fairly certain that they would die from neutrinos.

[tyckspoon]

Alright, yeah, time to try to achieve minimum safe distance. Hope they were able to bring down TAD in that station.

[factotum]

Six light-minutes away from a supernova-level explosion? Yeah, that is most definitely a place they no longer want to be!


Looking at the appropriate "What If" (https://what-if.xkcd.com/73/), I am fairly certain that they would die from neutrinos.

The explosion has the power of a supernova, but isn't actually one, so we don't know if it generated neutrinos in the same way a supernova would.

[Narkis]

So today's joke is that Ennesby is an idiot.

[factotum]

Something just occurred to me. It's a bit meaningless for Kevin to immediately say that a Type IIn supernova produces that much energy, because they vary--it depends on the mass and makeup of the pregenitor star. Type I supernovas are the ones which always produce the same energy output. Also a bit pointless him putting such a precise value on the energy anyway, given that Ennesby already said it was a guess how big the explosion would be.

[Rakaydos]

So today's joke is that Ennesby is an idiot.

He's an entertinment AI. Different priorities.

[keybounce]

I think this is the the biggest BOOM the Toughs have ever been responsible for.

Pretty sure they boomed an entire universe already :-)

[keybounce]

Oh my, the hindsight and foreshadowing.

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-06-29

I'm here to shoot somebody, or eat somebody. Both if I'm lucky.
You're here to arm me, aim me, and sometimes tell me what not to shoot.

... That is such a good description of what happened.

[Max_Killjoy]

Oh my, the hindsight and foreshadowing.

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-06-29

I'm here to shoot somebody, or eat somebody. Both if I'm lucky.
You're here to arm me, aim me, and sometimes tell me what not to shoot.

... That is such a good description of what happened.


"If that's the only thing I ruin today, we'll all be way ahead."

Stop tempting me with archive bait.

[HandofShadows]

Pretty sure they boomed an entire universe already :-)

The DMBs did that. Not any of the Toughs.

[Geno9999]

Something just occurred to me. It's a bit meaningless for Kevin to immediately say that a Type IIn supernova produces that much energy, because they vary--it depends on the mass and makeup of the pregenitor star. Type I supernovas are the ones which always produce the same energy output. Also a bit pointless him putting such a precise value on the energy anyway, given that Ennesby already said it was a guess how big the explosion would be.

I presume that's more for the benefit of Tagon/the audience who aren't astronomers or physicists, and that the Toughs should probably try to be somewhere else within 3 minutes.

[Max_Killjoy]

Sometimes Ennesby is trying so hard to come up with the clever or precise solution, that he misses the simple direct solution.

[PraetorDragoon]

Sometimes Ennesby is trying so hard to come up with the clever or precise solution, that he misses the simple direct solution.

I tend to do the same. :smalleek:

[Thomas Cardew]

I mean even if he couldn't turn it off for some reason, they have 3 minutes to blow it up themselves and port out. Which seems infinitely preferable to trying to time the jump for when the elevator hits...I know that doesn't work, it's a metaphor...

Also, shame Pi isn't there. I always figured if anyone set off a supernova or equivalent, it'd be him. Or that he'd get to watch.

[Rakaydos]

I mean even if he couldn't turn it off for some reason, they have 3 minutes to blow it up themselves and port out. Which seems infinitely preferable to trying to time the jump for when the elevator hits...I know that doesn't work, it's a metaphor...

Also, shame Pi isn't there. I always figured if anyone set off a supernova or equivalent, it'd be him. Or that he'd get to watch.

He can always demand to watch, and be told to wait until the light is visible from his own galaxy.

Which it will... and which he has to not blow himself up if he wants to live long enough to see it.

[tonberrian]

...Huh. If they blow up the core generator, and this seems like they just might have, they'll be stuck in Andromeda forever. Unless Petey can build a ship big enough to teraport them back, at least...

[Rockphed]

...Huh. If they blow up the core generator, and this seems like they just might have, they'll be stuck in Andromeda forever. Unless Petey can build a ship big enough to teraport them back, at least...

Petey was perfectly capable of teraporting back and forth before Andromeda's core came online. If they blow it up sufficiently he can get back to liberating Andromeda.

[tyckspoon]

Petey was perfectly capable of teraporting back and forth before Andromeda's core came online. If they blow it up sufficiently he can get back to liberating Andromeda.

Well, he was capable of doing that by spending a huge chunk of his available energy budget. It's not something he did trivially, and certainly not something he can afford to do while his own core generator is under attack. Fortunately removing the Hypergun takes out the Paanuri's only cost-effective means of attacking between the galaxies, and they've got Dark Matter Schlock and the local Milky Way forces to help take out the battlegroups that were sent in there now..

[keybounce]

1. This Tagon definitely seems smarter.
2. How many currently active Tagons are there? One in the computer, one in Andromeda, is there a third?

[Rakaydos]

1. This Tagon definitely seems smarter.
2. How many currently active Tagons are there? One in the computer, one in Andromeda, is there a third?

Tagon has been the big damn hero once before, and this tagon missed it because the old tagon didnt survive the experience.
He doesnt want to wake up AGAIN to find out yet another tagon saved the galaxy.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Thread title drop, like a boss. No, unfortunately he did not say "eat it" as well.

[Gnoman]

Schlock bringing intimidation and spreading terror by promising to eat somebody. It feels like this strip is returning to the roots.

[Ark Evensong]

2. How many currently active Tagons are there? One in the computer, one in Andromeda, is there a third?
There's a Karl Tagon over in Schlock's DaME-generator/-resurrector, but only two Kaffs.

[Wayson]

Schlock bringing intimidation and spreading terror by promising to eat somebody. It feels like this strip is returning to the roots.

I’m not going to lie, if this is how it ends then I’m happy with it. Schlock eats everything and traumatizes the surviving DMEs into surrendering.

[factotum]

It's sometimes easy to forget that Schlock is actually very intelligent, just a bit careless--to figure out that he can use his Pa'anuri abilities to make a ship's hull vibrate and turn it into a giant speaker is pretty darned inspired.

[NEO|Phyte]

Probably remembered that time Xinchub did it with a battleplate.

[The Glyphstone]

It's sometimes easy to forget that Schlock is actually very intelligent, just a bit careless--to figure out that he can use his Pa'anuri abilities to make a ship's hull vibrate and turn it into a giant speaker is pretty darned inspired.

They've commented on this in-story, IIRC. His entire body substitutes as a brain/memory storage unit with very irregular application of its potential, so he's capable of random feats of intelligence/wisdom/cunning that even his closest allies never see coming.

[sihnfahl]

They've commented on this in-story, IIRC. His entire body substitutes as a brain/memory storage unit with very irregular application of its potential, so he's capable of random feats of intelligence/wisdom/cunning that even his closest allies never see coming.
Like his little pep-talk at the initial arrival in Andromeda.

[hajo]

"Complete non-surprise" :smallbiggrin:

[ChowGuy]

Thread title drop, like a boss. No, unfortunately he did not say "eat it" as well.

Too bad is nowhere near time yet for another thread title, or I'd be suggesting Too hunrgy to die! (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-06-19)"

[factotum]

I don't think it's ever been made clear why the Pa'anuri have got into this attitude that they can't co-exist alongside baryonic life, has it? Does anyone have a link for where that's mentioned before?

[JavaScribe]

I don't think it's ever been made clear why the Pa'anuri have got into this attitude that they can't co-exist alongside baryonic life, has it? Does anyone have a link for where that's mentioned before?
We haven't heard it from the Pa'anuri themselves, but we've seen other people speculate. One theory is that they were basically created as intelligent slaves which ultimately resulted in an AI rebellion. The Hrathi have long speculated that someday, some idiot will accidentally create an entire race of dark matter sociopaths.

[sihnfahl]

We haven't heard it from the Pa'anuri themselves, but we've seen other people speculate. One theory is that they were basically created as intelligent slaves which ultimately resulted in an AI rebellion. The Hrathi have long speculated that someday, some idiot will accidentally create an entire race of dark matter sociopaths.
You mean here (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-10-25).

One reason may also be related to the usage of teraports and other hyperspace manipulations of baryonic life to be able to move from point A to point B.

It 'pollutes' the local space and rips Pa'anuri apart.

And since Andromeda and the Milky Way are set to intersect at some point in the future... the long game.

[HandofShadows]

The Gatekeepers were keeping the treaty and it was the DMB that tried to blow up the Milky Way. The generator that Petey took over was supposed to be used to keep the Milky Way and Andromeda from colliding and in theory it might be able to do that. Also the DMB went out after the world ships which were self isolating and had nothing to do with just about anything. The very opposite of the DBM.

[keybounce]

It's not often that I can use one thread's title in another thread.

Petey: "Hoy! Hennybody else not dead? "

[Lvl 2 Expert]

So this is what that whole soul teraporter discussion was about. They're going to digitize or baryonize the whole species.

I'll admit, there are much worse solutions...

[hajo]

So this is what that whole soul teraporter discussion was about.
They're going to digitize or baryonize the whole species.

And our favorite mercs even have an experienced specialist for 'afterlife-management (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-09-06)'.
That's convincient :smallamused:


I'll admit, there are much worse solutions... Sure :smallbiggrin:

[sihnfahl]

They're going to digitize or baryonize the whole species.
They're already familiar with digitization...

They're just being introduced to a different usage of said digitization. Rather than as a conduit to become Pa'anuri, as a way to live peacefully.

[tonberrian]

So it seems the Toughs are now the most powerful polity in both Andromeda and the Milky Way. Literally, since, y'know, they control the power.

[Rockphed]

Wow, how did enesby not explode telling the story that succinctly?

[geoduck]

So it seems the Toughs are now the most powerful polity in both Andromeda and the Milky Way. Literally, since, y'know, they control the power.

"Schlock and Enesby" are not exactly the same thing as "The Toughs".

[Lvl 2 Expert]

How does Schlock even control that generator? I get that he seems to have gotten a lot smarter and better with physics since growing, but the whole reason those dronuri exist is that dark matter entities cannot manipulate baryonic matter finely enough to run a core generator. So what, Petey's generator was still running normally, and then Schlock parked in front of it and said "this is mine now, you can't touch it"?

[factotum]

How does Schlock even control that generator? I get that he seems to have gotten a lot smarter and better with physics since growing, but the whole reason those dronuri exist is that dark matter entities cannot manipulate baryonic matter finely enough to run a core generator. So what, Petey's generator was still running normally, and then Schlock parked in front of it and said "this is mine now, you can't touch it"?

Schlock isn't entirely a dark matter entity, he has baryonic components as well.

[DeTess]

How does Schlock even control that generator? I get that he seems to have gotten a lot smarter and better with physics since growing, but the whole reason those dronuri exist is that dark matter entities cannot manipulate baryonic matter finely enough to run a core generator. So what, Petey's generator was still running normally, and then Schlock parked in front of it and said "this is mine now, you can't touch it"?

The original generator was built with the help of the pa'anuri, so there might actually be a way for a local dark matter entity to control them.

[Max_Killjoy]

I'm guessing the Pa'anuri was in a hurry to get it under control before something Very Bad happened.

[keybounce]

Hmm. They shot the long gun, not the core generator? You don't suppose that perhaps the core generator had gone into "going unstable" after the control cable was destroyed, and they'd rather have someone plugged in and keeping it from going ka-blammo than worry about who?

[factotum]

Or, they just want to keep the Pa'anuri from controlling the core generator? Seems to me that's by far the simplest explanation.

[Rockphed]

Or, they just want to keep the Pa'anuri from controlling the core generator? Seems to me that's by far the simplest explanation.

One of the Pa'anuri plugged enesby into the Andromeda core generator.

[JavaScribe]

So does Schlock share Thurl's sentiment that Petey cannot be trusted with the core generator, or does he just want an infinite food source?

[Rockphed]

So does Schlock share Thurl's sentiment that Petey cannot be trusted with the core generator, or does he just want an infinite food source?

If I had to guess, I suspect that Schlock wants to be sure he gets paid before he gives the generator back.

[Windscion]

I am pleased to see (at least some of) the extragalactics intend to return. It makes it far less likely that someone will declare war on Petey, who just lost all his capital ships. Granted there is a lot of battlefield salvage, by which I mean the Pa'anuri vessels. Unfortunately, that usually means more fighting over who gets the loot, since it may be turned to a permanent advantage in power.

[Godskook]

So that's -three- plot-critical epic story threads that were left on cliff-hangers and resolved entirely off-screen. I'm getting a bit pissed off here. Can we get less "let's listen to people post-hoc narrate the important bits"?

[factotum]

What's annoying me slightly is that Schlock eating them in the Milky Way, and Ennesby blowing up their long gun in Andromeda, appears to be all that's needed to have ended the war. This is a war that's effectively been going on for thousands of years, ever since the Pa'anuri plotted to help the Gatekeepers make a core generator that would blow up the Milky Way, it seems it ought to have been a bit harder to resolve than that.

[HandofShadows]

What turned the tide in Andromeda is Ennesby taking over their core, not the blowing them up. They lost the super weapon and the power source for most of the stuff they did.

[tyckspoon]

What turned the tide in Andromeda is Ennesby taking over their core, not the blowing them up. They lost the super weapon and the power source for most of the stuff they did.

Yup, that. Both of the core generators are now securely in the control of the Milky Way baryonics, which means their full output can be turned to carrying out the war in Andromeda and the Paanuri no longer have anything capable of responding on the same scale of energy. That's game; the basic options for the Paanuri at this point are try to negotiate for lenient terms of surrender while they still have some fighting capability they can use as leverage (ie, 'be nice to us in our defeat or we'll force you to spend the next x-ty many years dealing with a guerilla war') or drag out an impossible war until they've been destroyed to the point that terms can be dictated to them. ..or hope that some miracle happens and gives them back the Andromeda end generator, but I'm pretty sure the Toughs have 'random off-screen BS resolutions' locked up here.

(Ennesby just randomly getting connected to the Andromeda core really feels like Taylor just didn't want to deal with things any more, and I would have liked to see how the exogalactic diplomatic mission managed to convince the impressively paranoid survivalists in charge of Boloceade to even begin to consider returning to the galactic center.)

[sihnfahl]

Unfortunately, that usually means more fighting over who gets the loot, since it may be turned to a permanent advantage in power.
Which is when the Third Option comes into play.

All that loot? Dismantle the items and turn them into intergalactic commons. We're not talking a Credomar situation (put a city into a working gun to keep someone from firing it). We're talking dismantling a Credomar situation and turning them into actual buildings. Another sphere for virtual life. Or whatever.


(Ennesby just randomly getting connected to the Andromeda core really feels like Taylor just didn't want to deal with things any more, and I would have liked to see how the exogalactic diplomatic mission managed to convince the impressively paranoid survivalists in charge of Boloceade to even begin to consider returning to the galactic center.)
As I recall, their sims said that only ONE path of their predictions would result in their survival. All other paths saw them destroyed by the pa'anuri.

And it was a slim chance that required specific things to happen - things with a very low chance of probability - to escape that fate.

Guess what Schlock and Ennesby managed to do...

[Gez]

So that's -three- plot-critical epic story threads that were left on cliff-hangers and resolved entirely off-screen. I'm getting a bit pissed off here. Can we get less "let's listen to people post-hoc narrate the important bits"?

https://i.ibb.co/5YDCgty/2011-02-01-beartato-showdonttell.png

[tonberrian]

https://i.ibb.co/5YDCgty/2011-02-01-beartato-showdonttell.png

I'm hoping at least we get a flashback back to virtual Tagon. I feel like that could happen. Though I will be disappointed when it doesn't.

[Godskook]

(Ennesby just randomly getting connected to the Andromeda core really feels like Taylor just didn't want to deal with things any more, and I would have liked to see how the exogalactic diplomatic mission managed to convince the impressively paranoid survivalists in charge of Boloceade to even begin to consider returning to the galactic center.)

Yeah, that's two of the three things I'm complaining about :(

(The third is Schlock actually fighting the Panuri in the core. Last we saw him, he was telling Petey he was -going- to that fight)

[tonberrian]

i'm hoping at least we get a flashback back to virtual tagon. I feel like that could happen. Though i will be disappointed when it doesn't.

vindication!

[Rockphed]

vindication!

One of the things I liked about Massively Parallel was that we got hints about where the other stories were going to go before we saw them which made every pass through the month interesting. I am glad that we get to see both Tagon say "you should come back" and that he got such a reaction from the Senechator.

[Mechalich]

One of the things I liked about Massively Parallel was that we got hints about where the other stories were going to go before we saw them which made every pass through the month interesting. I am glad that we get to see both Tagon say "you should come back" and that he got such a reaction from the Senechator.

It's worth noting that the existence of the core generator(s) drastically changes what 'coming back' entails. We just saw Sorlie get sent back, effectively instantly, across a distance that took the exodians literally tens of millions of years to cross. Physically bringing the worldships back is not a thing that's actually happening, but the beings living in those worldships can now return instantly something that was impossible only a few years ago.

And, of course, it's possible for the exodians to simply send copies of themselves back, they don't actually have to incur any existential risk at all to their current membership if they don't want too (forking does weird things to storytelling).

[Max_Killjoy]

It's worth noting that the existence of the core generator(s) drastically changes what 'coming back' entails. We just saw Sorlie get sent back, effectively instantly, across a distance that took the exodians literally tens of millions of years to cross. Physically bringing the worldships back is not a thing that's actually happening, but the beings living in those worldships can now return instantly something that was impossible only a few years ago.

And, of course, it's possible for the exodians to simply send copies of themselves back, they don't actually have to incur any existential risk at all to their current membership if they don't want too (forking does weird things to storytelling).

Isn't that giant meeting taking place in an "infosphere", such that also-Sorlie wasn't physically sent back?

[Mechalich]

Isn't that giant meeting taking place in an "infosphere", such that also-Sorlie wasn't physically sent back?

But so are the worldships. The exodians don't physically exist as flesh-and-blood - which is why Boloceade had to build a special space to meatjack the Toughs into - they're entirely data creatures. Each worldship is basically an All-Star, simply constructed around a specially-designed star and give propulsion somehow.

[tonberrian]

But so are the worldships. The exodians don't physically exist as flesh-and-blood - which is why Boloceade had to build a special space to meatjack the Toughs into - they're entirely data creatures. Each worldship is basically an All-Star, simply constructed around a specially-designed star and give propulsion somehow.

Not entirely accurate, as the worldship contains an area for flesh and blood sophonts who want to enjoy it by default. Having a star as a power source is a lot of power and the volume does give a lot of space.

[Battleship789]

Ugh, another jump forward. Let us experience the story in a linear fashion Howard. :smalltongue:

[Rockphed]

Ugh, another jump forward. Let us experience the story in a linear fashion Howard. :smalltongue:

Frankly I don't mind non-linear time so much as I mind telling us what happened instead of showing us.

[factotum]

I don't have a problem with the jump forward either. As I said earlier, what I have a real problem with is the overly easy and anti-climactic resolution of a war on an intergalactic scale. I'm sure Howard used to know how to write satisfying resolutions to his storylines, what happened to him in the last few years?

[keybounce]

"Epilogue"?

At least I don't think I'm the only one that doesn't really feel like this story was resolved.

Ending was better than Game of Throne's ending. But ... no where near what I got used to expecting from books 8-14 or so.

[Ibrinar]

Honestly I think the theory that he lost interest and just started skipping telling the details because he just wanted to get it done is still the one that makes the most sense to me.

Well giant schlock was fun for some chapters until the rest was skipped.

[factotum]

Honestly I think the theory that he lost interest and just started skipping telling the details because he just wanted to get it done is still the one that makes the most sense to me.

He really doesn't want to get into that habit...otherwise he could end up like D&D and the last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones!

[Max_Killjoy]

If you follow Howard more broadly, it comes across as if he's worn out and dealing with health issues... he's been working on this thing non-stop, without a break, for years now... he was late with an update one day, because the server caught fire, and that's it. If the strip had been 6 or 5 days a week, or he'd given himself a week off each year, I think we'd see less of this undertone of him wanting to get it done by a certain date.

Really, this "wrap it up with a tell instead of a show" seems to have begun at the end of the first Oafan arc, when Enesby and Chinook came back from dealing with the ancient station AI and summarized what had happened.

And maybe that intersects with one of the internal problems of the strip, dealing with the increasing capabilities of the AIs and how they could easily have overshadowed the flesh and blood characters.

[lord_khaine]

It is a slightly depressing way to end all of this.
I really would wish Howard had taken, i dont know, a months vacation, before writing his final arc.
There were really a lot of stuff i would have prefered to see play out as it unfolded.

[factotum]

Today being a case in point: "Oh, your dark matter version fixed the orbit of Othlin yesterday. You didn't need to see that or anything, right?".

[Max_Killjoy]

Today being a case in point: "Oh, your dark matter version fixed the orbit of Othlin yesterday. You didn't need to see that or anything, right?".

Part of that is trying to tell a story of this scale with this many events and this many players, in a daily comic strip format.

[Willie the Duck]

I think in general Howard has decided that this part of the story isn't really what he wants to be focusing on, and is just getting it done.

Science fiction writer David Brin had a similar thing with his Uplift series -- he started a second trilogy in that universe, and did some really good storytelling with the crew of his human/dolphin-crewed spaceship Streaker, as well as the antagonist ships chasing it (much as a good part of the first trilogy was). But then by the last book in the second trilogy, he had to tie a ribbon around the big interstellar plot/conspiracy/whatever that was the background event upon which the Streaker's escapades were set and... he just kinda wrapped it up with a dull wet whimper.

I suspect that when Howard gets back to doing what he wants to be doing with his characters (in whatever format that takes), his writing skills will once again rise to the challenge.

[keybounce]

This would not be the first time that we've seen a writer who could do excellent "small scale" stories fall apart when trying to do "large scale".

It's like trying to show the affairs of two people, trying to sneak into an enemy fortress, while at the same time showing the movement of massive armies and the affairs of the heroes leading the armies of our side.

(I found the two far more understandable and relatable, and if you had to ask me what happened with the armies I could not tell you.)

[Mechalich]

This would not be the first time that we've seen a writer who could do excellent "small scale" stories fall apart when trying to do "large scale".

It's like trying to show the affairs of two people, trying to sneak into an enemy fortress, while at the same time showing the movement of massive armies and the affairs of the heroes leading the armies of our side.

(I found the two far more understandable and relatable, and if you had to ask me what happened with the armies I could not tell you.)

Not only are 'small-scale' (group-based, primarily character driven) and 'large-scale' (society-based, primarily story driven) very different approaches to storytelling it is particularly hard to transition from one mode to another within the context of the same story. Essentially, in order to do so, you need to have planned it out from the very beginning, so that you can pre-position your characters such that they transition seamlessly from one scale to another. A very good example would be Aragorn, who shows up as a 'ranger' but turns out to be the destined king who ends up leading the forces of good in the big climax, and Tolkien had all the relationships planned out before he even started writing LotR.

Howard clearly didn't plan everything out in advance, and it's also clear that of the characters he developed who managed to transition to the upper-managerial level necessary for framing epic-scale discussion like Breya and Petey, he just doesn't like telling stories with them nearly as much as with Schlock and Tagon. The very fact that the highest-ranked person sent on the mission to contact Boloceade was Sorlie - when Breya or Petey could have easily sent a version of themselves along instead - is indicative of this.


Part of that is trying to tell a story of this scale with this many events and this many players, in a daily comic strip format.

Definitely agree with this. Classically, an epic involves a lot of scenes of high-ranking people (who may or may not be interesting characters in their own right) standing around and pontificating on the circumstances in order to provide context and story framing. This tradition goes back all the way to the Iliad, at least. It is, however, tricky to do is visual media because you can't just throw a few thousand words out. The more complicated the story becomes, the harder it is to compress this necessary contextual exposition. OT Star Wars, for instance, actually has quite a few expository scenes (ROTJ, most notably, flat out opens with one on the second Death Star) despite having one of the most deliberately generic epic storylines it is possible to have based on the whole 'monomyth' concept.

Schlock Mercenary, by this point is exceedingly complex, and contains multiple issues - superhuman AI intelligences, transhumanist mind state mobility, and lifeforms formed of a completely different material physics, among others - that have absolute no analogue in human lived experience, so explaining what is going on would require a metric ton of exposition that the comic doesn't have any easy ability to handle without getting extremely bogged down. Book 20 opened with a week-long prologue and that was barely enough to minimally set the stage. There's no way to take the month or more necessary to properly frame the 'Baryon Wars' as a conflict.

[factotum]

Can someone remind me, did we actually see Cynthetic Certainty get destroyed, or was that another off-panel thing?

[Thomas Cardew]

Can someone remind me, did we actually see Cynthetic Certainty get destroyed, or was that another off-panel thing?

Sort of? (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-05-30) We see Ventura presumably about to copy/ extract her, but never actually see the ship go boom.

IDK, I can't help but compare this with when schlock died on the Gav planet. Then we got an interesting multi strip view of it happening and the post death recovery scene. The Audience got to SEE everything. It was great, maybe a few strips too long at the time, but the action was there. As opposed to just, you know, skipping everything and talking about it after.

In the last thread, I doubted whether Howard could end this, in his words " It will end with closure, resolution, satisfaction, and a big, all-caps “THE END.”".
I'm doubling down on my Princess Bride feeling of: I don't think those words mean what you think they mean.

I could write a lot more, but would be the point? I'll finish this book, wish Howard well on his way with the next project. But I wont be reading it.


EDIT: It's been 5 days since a war 99% of Galaxy wasn't fighting ended. How the frick has 'Peace' been wonderful? Don't even give me BS about redirection of resource. That's not even enough time for budget committee to schedule the meeting to contemplate the font for the schedule to discuss reductions or new priorities.

[Max_Killjoy]

The Oafans basically faked their own deaths, left all their stuff lying out, let people think that taking it was a salvage job... and are now taking it back with everyone feeling guilty for having salvaged it as if they had stolen it.

Thanks for reminding me of that, Howard.

[Rockphed]

The Oafans basically faked their own deaths, left all their stuff lying out, let people think that taking it was a salvage job... and are now taking it back with everyone feeling guilty for having salvaged it as if they had stolen it.

Thanks for reminding me of that, Howard.

I thought they had promised to let the Toughs keep Breath Weapon if they saved the Galaxy.

[Kornaki]

EDIT: It's been 5 days since a war 99% of Galaxy wasn't fighting ended. How the frick has 'Peace' been wonderful? Don't even give me BS about redirection of resource. That's not even enough time for budget committee to schedule the meeting to contemplate the font for the schedule to discuss reductions or new priorities.

The comment is being made by someone who was actually fighting the war. Let the 1% enjoy their respite man.

[Mechalich]

The Oafans basically faked their own deaths, left all their stuff lying out, let people think that taking it was a salvage job... and are now taking it back with everyone feeling guilty for having salvaged it as if they had stolen it.

That's not quite what happened. A single Oafan AI forcibly imprisoned their entire civilization in an infosphere it controlled, stole everything that belonged to the Oafan civilization, and then faked his own death. When found, said AI gave essentially all of those stolen goods to the Toughs (and some other entities like the hive mind). When the digital Oafans were finally released from imprisonment they placed a claim on all the goods that belonged to them. Generally, under most legal schemes, if you purchase stolen goods and the theft is later identified the police just take those goods back and given them to the original owner and you're out of luck (this is why pawn shops try very hard to avoid purchasing stolen goods, it's a way to lose serious money).

In this case, because the Oafans essentially outgun the entire rest of the galaxy, especially with Petey's fleets blasted apart, they're able to act as police on their own behalf and claim all their stuff back if they want. This is kind of uncharitable of them, but I honestly don't think the comic has shied away from that. There was a whole bit about Chinook's resurrection that cast the old-school infosphere based Oafans (or at least their AIs) in a rather poor light.


EDIT: It's been 5 days since a war 99% of Galaxy wasn't fighting ended. How the frick has 'Peace' been wonderful? Don't even give me BS about redirection of resource. That's not even enough time for budget committee to schedule the meeting to contemplate the font for the schedule to discuss reductions or new priorities.

The 'peace' is being conducted by a pair of ascended superintelligences in Dark Matter Schlock and Cephalopoid Ennesby who are playing with functionally limitless energy and processing at something like 1,000,000x human speed. If you adjust the timescales, they've been able to do decades worth of restructuring in that timeframe.

This is part and parcel of having high-level Culture Mind style intelligences in a story, the way they operate simply breaks human-storytelling scale if it's not managed very carefully. Banks was careful to insure that while ships could move around the Culture universe version of the Milky Way quite rapidly, they couldn't do so instantaneously and therefore they could only hijack the narrative in one location at a time. The nature of the tereport obliterates that limit, allowing the superintelligences to act literally everywhere at once.

Scale mismatch is a big problem in story development. Schlock Mercenary isn't the first, and it won't be the last, science fiction epic to lose itself due to the scale of the plot exceeding the grasp of the characters. It's fairly obviously Howard knows this at least intuitively and he's rushing towards the end in the hope of getting back to smaller scale stories.

[FLHerne]

I feel like today's strip might be particularly aimed at this thread...

[JavaScribe]

What bugged me wasn't the fact that the Oafans wanted their stuff back. It was the fact that it kept getting emphasized that this somehow made the Toughs filthy thieves, obligated to pay back their debt to society via community service.


I feel like today's strip might be particularly aimed at this thread...
Yes... I felt like that was aimed at here as well.

[Rockphed]

What bugged me wasn't the fact that the Oafans wanted their stuff back. It was the fact that it kept getting emphasized that this somehow made the Toughs filthy thieves, obligated to pay back their debt to society via community service.


Yes... I felt like that was aimed at here as well.

And yet he seems to have completely failed to grasp our frustrations.

[PhantomFox]

I'm not terribly convinced he reads THIS thread in particular. But I think the criticism is more widespread than just here.

[factotum]

Yeah, hanging a lampshade on it by saying "Whee, isn't this epilogue terrible?" doesn't actually improve it any...

[DeTess]

Yeah, hanging a lampshade on it by saying "Whee, isn't this epilogue terrible?" doesn't actually improve it any...

Eh, I got a chuckle out of the meta-humor in this one.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I feel like today's strip might be particularly aimed at this thread...

I came here to say basically this.

I don't think it was actually aimed at this thread and this thread only (it was probably more inspired by stuff like mail the author got) but it sure feels that way.

[JavaScribe]

So how many plot threads are left?

There was Dr. Lazarus, who the kit didn't revive for whatever reason despite having a backup of his memories, and was missing important bits when his corpse was delivered.

I assume he was executed, but we were never explicitly told whatever happened to Doyt. Neither of these threads are hugely important, I assume they won't come up again.

Did we ever figure out why the Oafans were soul ripped? Was it just paranoia over someone else finding their city, taking down teraport denial, and doing the same thing?

I guess the biggest unresolved thread would be the Schuul.

[lord_khaine]

The 'peace' is being conducted by a pair of ascended superintelligences in Dark Matter Schlock and Cephalopoid Ennesby who are playing with functionally limitless energy and processing at something like 1,000,000x human speed. If you adjust the timescales, they've been able to do decades worth of restructuring in that timeframe.

This is part and parcel of having high-level Culture Mind style intelligences in a story, the way they operate simply breaks human-storytelling scale if it's not managed very carefully. Banks was careful to insure that while ships could move around the Culture universe version of the Milky Way quite rapidly, they couldn't do so instantaneously and therefore they could only hijack the narrative in one location at a time. The nature of the tereport obliterates that limit, allowing the superintelligences to act literally everywhere at once.

Scale mismatch is a big problem in story development. Schlock Mercenary isn't the first, and it won't be the last, science fiction epic to lose itself due to the scale of the plot exceeding the grasp of the characters. It's fairly obviously Howard knows this at least intuitively and he's rushing towards the end in the hope of getting back to smaller scale stories.

Howard did do an awesome job. One he deserves a lot of credit for.
But yes in the end i think the hyper-AI's kinda broke the framework of the story.
Making the main cast increasingly less relevant. And making more and more stuff happen off frame.

I do look forward to what Howard comes up with after a vacation.

[Rockphed]

Howard did do an awesome job. One he deserves a lot of credit for.
But yes in the end i think the hyper-AI's kinda broke the framework of the story.
Making the main cast increasingly less relevant. And making more and more stuff happen off frame.

I do look forward to what Howard comes up with after a vacation.

Honestly, I really liked everything up until the end of "Can Full of Sky", liked the book where they were in Dom Atlantis, and have mostly shaken my head at the last couple stories. I think the biggest problem is shown by the difference between rescuing Tagon after time-travel and the battle in Dom Atlantis. In the first we got a wonderful splash page showing Elf using a Chain Sabre 3000 to eviscerate a corporal Oleo, in the second we get told how awesome Schlock is, but never get to see him exacting chainsaw justice on his enemies.

I hope that after a vacation we get to see more "the Toughs do some violence" stories and less "the Toughs are present when the universe changes".

[Max_Killjoy]

What bugged me wasn't the fact that the Oafans wanted their stuff back. It was the fact that it kept getting emphasized that this somehow made the Toughs filthy thieves, obligated to pay back their debt to society via community service.


Same thing here, I found it aggravating to the point where I tend to overstate the grounds for my rejection of the whole "stolen property" thing as a pushback.

The Toughs were not thieves, nor did they knowingly receive stolen property... and yet everyone in the comic acted like they went in and robbed the Oafans at gunpoint, and we didn't see a single character object to that.

[JavaScribe]

That was certainly a convenient conclusion. I assume the exact details are beyond our comprehension, but I do hope we at least get the simplified reasoning for it.

[tyckspoon]

That was certainly a convenient conclusion. I assume the exact details are beyond our comprehension, but I do hope we at least get the simplified reasoning for it.

Schlock - even Dark Matter Schlock - is fundamentally a fairly altruistically minded and non-ambitious creature. 'Make Friends With It' is one of the points of his morality, remember, and he's moved away from 'Kill it and/or Eat It' as a response to problems with sentient beings. He also doesn't really give a crud about anybody's politics, and as a supermassive Dark Matter being holding the keys to the core generator it would be very difficult to find any leverage on him to force him to use that power to do something he doesn't agree with (and while he doesn't want to do unnecessary harm, he still doesn't have many reservations about delivering swift and violent ends to things he has identified as enemies.) And he has the Pa'anuri ship which still has the regeneration/re-creating a Dark Matter mind capability, so even if somebody is bold enough to come in and try to destroy him he'll just respawn.

So.. he's unlikely to use the core generator for his own purposes, because it can't actually do anything he wants (until somebody figures out how to make Dark Matter OvalQwik, I guess.) And anybody wanting to use it for a potentially galactically-destabilizing project would have to convince him that it's a good idea or at least non-harmful, and he hopefully would be running those requests by the same megabrains and multitude of probability matrices that determined he's the best caretaker. If they say no, there's not much way anybody can try to force him to employ the generator for them anyways.

[Max_Killjoy]

Today's update makes it clear that Howard is well aware of how much he's abused the "tell" function in his storytelling.

[keybounce]

How is Dark Matter Schlock doing OK in a galaxy dominated by tear apart?

[tonberrian]

How is Dark Matter Schlock doing OK in a galaxy dominated by tear apart?

As long as they don't teraport near him he's fine. Though "near" is relative given his dramatic size increase.

[tyckspoon]

As long as they don't teraport near him he's fine. Though "near" is relative given his dramatic size increase.

He's still got the Pa'anuri rebirth ship. As long as that's functional, destroying the Dark Matter construct doesn't do any long-term harm. Almost nobody in the Milky Way has the firepower required to seriously threaten one of those ships.. And he just offered the Toughs lodging on/within that same ship, so there's a decent chance they become a garrison in residence to help fight off any attacks. Plus potentially being able to call for aid from the returning worldships, who have pretty much all agreed that Schlock should be overseeing that generator, and may be inclined to provide significant help in making sure their best predicted path stays that way.

[Squire Doodad]

So how many plot threads are left?

There was Dr. Lazarus, who the kit didn't revive for whatever reason despite having a backup of his memories, and was missing important bits when his corpse was delivered.

I assume he was executed, but we were never explicitly told whatever happened to Doyt. Neither of these threads are hugely important, I assume they won't come up again.

Did we ever figure out why the Oafans were soul ripped? Was it just paranoia over someone else finding their city, taking down teraport denial, and doing the same thing?

I guess the biggest unresolved thread would be the Schuul.

From what I can tell the Schuul were
(Gav incident) and (Guy on the Moon station)->(Dom Atlantis incident) and then it ended there, with the Schuul being in the same thread as the Redhack incident.

I think the Oafans were forcefully uploaded because they recognized that something caused the galaxy to end every bundle of million years, and then they decided to stay put to last beyond it.

Dr. Lazarus is probably dead. I don't remember what happened to Doyt, but if he's still out there it would have been as an emergency plot hook instead of a loose end in dire need of tying.

[JavaScribe]

The end apparently. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-07-23)

Is it just me, or does it really feel like Howard Taylor just got sick of it all and wanted to get it done.

[TeChameleon]

Eh, I dunno. Could pretty easily have waffled on for a while yet, but from my POV, it's as good a stopping point as any; the majority of the really big plot threads are wrapped up, and the mental image of Schlock riding a fluffy T-Rex is a good one to go out on (as Charles Schultz famously said of the Little Red-Haired Girl of Charlie Brown's affections, 'nothing I can come up with will be as good as what the audience has imagined', and I think this might be a case of the same thing). I'm satisfied, I think, and thankful for the slightly over 20 years worth of fun and good reading.

[Mechalich]

The end apparently. (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2020-07-23)

Is it just me, or does it really feel like Howard Taylor just got sick of it all and wanted to get it done.

If that's actually the end, then oh yeah.

I mean, it's one thing to not want to talk about the large-scale implications of this suddenly realized peace. That's frustrating, but I get it, but if this is the ending there's hardly any resolution for most of the major characters. I mean, outside of Tagon none of the members of the Toughs who were in Andromeda have had any lines following the cessation of hostilities. Major characters like Kevin, Elf, Commodore Tagon, Flinders, Bunnigus, and appear only in background shots. Other characters of some significance like Liz or Ebby don't show up at all. Petey's new status sans-generator is left completely to the imagination, as is the resolution of control of the Oafan infospace and whether any significant fraction of the infogees decided to stay there.

Ultimately, the entire epilogue is 8 strips long, out of over seven thousand strips in total. It's remarkably meager.

Bottom line: this doesn't feel like any sort of ending, it feels like the story just stopped.

[JavaScribe]

Eh, I dunno. Could pretty easily have waffled on for a while yet, but from my POV, it's as good a stopping point as any;
I'm not just referring to the lack of closure, it feels like the narration itself is hinting at it.

[tonberrian]

Realize that the comic is not over. Howard's taking a short break for a few months, then there will be new strips about schlock and other things happening. Just won't be so overarching anymore.

[TeChameleon]

I'm not just referring to the lack of closure, it feels like the narration itself is hinting at it.

Fair enough.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

https://i.postimg.cc/1tn50v3p/Schlock-the-end.png

Sources:
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-09-08
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-28

[DeTess]

I mean, the actual end-screen will probably be very similar to that. You don't set up the whole 'telling, not showing' metaphor with very specific examples like that without actually subverting it a little bit in the end.

[Max_Killjoy]

Not only are 'small-scale' (group-based, primarily character driven) and 'large-scale' (society-based, primarily story driven) very different approaches to storytelling it is particularly hard to transition from one mode to another within the context of the same story. Essentially, in order to do so, you need to have planned it out from the very beginning, so that you can pre-position your characters such that they transition seamlessly from one scale to another. A very good example would be Aragorn, who shows up as a 'ranger' but turns out to be the destined king who ends up leading the forces of good in the big climax, and Tolkien had all the relationships planned out before he even started writing LotR.

Howard clearly didn't plan everything out in advance, and it's also clear that of the characters he developed who managed to transition to the upper-managerial level necessary for framing epic-scale discussion like Breya and Petey, he just doesn't like telling stories with them nearly as much as with Schlock and Tagon. The very fact that the highest-ranked person sent on the mission to contact Boloceade was Sorlie - when Breya or Petey could have easily sent a version of themselves along instead - is indicative of this.



Definitely agree with this. Classically, an epic involves a lot of scenes of high-ranking people (who may or may not be interesting characters in their own right) standing around and pontificating on the circumstances in order to provide context and story framing. This tradition goes back all the way to the Iliad, at least. It is, however, tricky to do is visual media because you can't just throw a few thousand words out. The more complicated the story becomes, the harder it is to compress this necessary contextual exposition. OT Star Wars, for instance, actually has quite a few expository scenes (ROTJ, most notably, flat out opens with one on the second Death Star) despite having one of the most deliberately generic epic storylines it is possible to have based on the whole 'monomyth' concept.

Schlock Mercenary, by this point is exceedingly complex, and contains multiple issues - superhuman AI intelligences, transhumanist mind state mobility, and lifeforms formed of a completely different material physics, among others - that have absolute no analogue in human lived experience, so explaining what is going on would require a metric ton of exposition that the comic doesn't have any easy ability to handle without getting extremely bogged down. Book 20 opened with a week-long prologue and that was barely enough to minimally set the stage. There's no way to take the month or more necessary to properly frame the 'Baryon Wars' as a conflict.

Today's strip makes it appear that Howard is aware of the corner he painted himself into.

But if it's the last strip, I think it's also a sign that he's just plain exhausted.

[Christian]

One final strip tomorrow, according to his Twitter. Some kind of splash panel, I'm sure, as Lvl 2 Expert and De Tess are suggesting.

[Silent Hunter]

He's been doing this strip daily for twenty years. It's amazing he's not exhausted himself earlier.

He can take as long as he wishes after creating a masterwork like that.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

From the new blog post:


Then there was this thing, this sort of a watershed moment, just fifteen months after I started making comics, in September of 2001…

Lots of us in the webcartooning space sought to express our feelings—of grief, anger, patriotism, fear, it’s a long list— and I realized that my story-based comic strip just wouldn’t work well for that.

So I decided to keep telling the story I was telling.

The only change I made was to amp up the triumph and the funny a bit

Weird, I always felt like the really early strips are still some of the funniest, much more a gag (or sometimes 20 puns) a day than anything after that.

Probably a bit of a "death of the author" moment, my standards for funny humor may be a tad low and punny.

[tonberrian]

Oh man i was not expecting how much daddy Karl would hit me. Go Karl. You deserve this for all the stuff you been through.

[Schroeswald]

Disclaimer: I’m not a particular big fan of this comic, I read most of it in a week and then have stayed daily for the past few month, but I don’t really like it, I like a decent amount of bits of it, especially the first couple books and that circus arc, but it’s far from my favorite thing, any criticism of this ending I’m going to give should not really be understood as coming from a fan.

Okay, with that long disclaimer over with, that was one of the most unsatisfying endings for a story I’ve ever seen. It skips over quite a few comics worth of material in a rush towards the end, and so the plot feels incredibly incomplete. In addition to this, the final book does not care about characters, they exist, but only to make the rush towards the end work. In the time I’ve been reading (since the creation of dark matter Schlock) Schlock is the only treated as mattering, the rest (especially poor Elf, downgraded to barely an extra) are barely more than reused drawings, and because of this none of them have any real completion to their story, they just stop appearing at whatever point they stop appearing, and that’s the end, making this incredible empty.

And for the record, none of those problems are things I’ve ever really found in the comic before, in the first 19 books characters were treated as characters, with stories usually being told about them, not using them, and plot wasn’t generally just jumped over at a madcap pace.

[Rockphed]

Oh man i was not expecting how much daddy Karl would hit me. Go Karl. You deserve this for all the stuff you been through.

That is extragalactic kaff and murtagh with their offspring.

[runeghost]

I've been reading Schlock Mercenary about half of my life (more than half of my life as an adult). It ending feels like a big landmark.

Congratulations to Howard (and Travis, and Sandra, and anyone and everyone else who helped him get here). He did a rare and special and wonderful thing, and I don't think anyone has really done anything exactly like it. I'm glad to have read the comics, glad to have been a Schlock Mercenary fan, glad to have a copy of Planet Mercenary, and glad to see Howard end the mega-arc/strip on his own terms. I look forward to checking out whatever work he chooses to do next, if and when he chooses to do it. I hope he enjoys his break. He certainly deserves it!

[Wayson]

Well, that's it then.

I think I picked up Schlock a decade or so ago, and it's been a regular part of my evening routine since then. I will miss it, but hopefully Howard circles back after a VERY well deserved vacation and writes shorter stories in the same universe. I'd like to see the Terraforming Wars, the rise of the UNS and its gradual climb to galactic powerhouse, the fall of several civilizations (i.e. the cataclysmic war that caused the All Star population to isolate itself), etc.

Until then, I'll leave the site bookmarked, and perhaps start a full archive binge.

[tonberrian]

That is extragalactic kaff and murtagh with their offspring.

Oops, I got the wrong tagon. That's what I meant.

[PhantomFox]

Well, that's that then. I'm glad I read it, there were some good times, and the work ethic is beyond reproach. But I agree, this went out with a whimper rather than a bang.

[Ibrinar]

I am glad I reached the end, and while I think the quality suffered in later parts I will check out his next work since I think with a fresh start (and a vacation) it will likely improve again.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I am mostly glad my comic sans-job has become an unnecessary addition.

[Max_Killjoy]

https://i.postimg.cc/1tn50v3p/Schlock-the-end.png

Sources:
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-09-08
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-28


That was quite the prediction.

[JavaScribe]

I find it remarkable just how fast Petey went from respected guardian of the Milky Way to "some famous loser we know".

[Rockphed]

I find it remarkable just how fast Petey went from respected guardian of the Milky Way to "some famous loser we know".

After losing all of his capital ships and the core generator, what does he have left? I count the various cities of the Plenipotent Dominion and whatever small craft survived the battle for the core.

[factotum]

I find it remarkable just how fast Petey went from respected guardian of the Milky Way to "some famous loser we know".

The sad thing is, you could put more or less anything in for X in the statement "I find it remarkable how fast X happened" in this strip recently. It's only just over a month ago that Ennesby rerouted the Pa'anuri long gun to fire at itself--everything has been wrapped up in that period of time. It's like the old pulp SF novels of the 50s, where the people writing them churned them out so fast that sometimes they'd realise they didn't have any way to end the plot with a page and a half to go, so would introduce the Ultimate Weapon of Evil-Slaying to wrap things up as quickly as possible.

[Squire Doodad]

Schlock Mercenary is over, you can all go home now



After losing all of his capital ships and the core generator, what does he have left? I count the various cities of the Plenipotent Dominion and whatever small craft survived the battle for the core.

He probably is rerouting what little power he has left over to keep his cities going - but then, the worldships mean there's now nothing he can really offer but more of the same (if he's even as good as their AI and tech in the first place). He's a king who led the war effort, but then found himself irrelevant in the aftermath.

[Mechalich]

He probably is rerouting what little power he has left over to keep his cities going - but then, the worldships mean there's now nothing he can really offer but more of the same (if he's even as good as their AI and tech in the first place). He's a king who led the war effort, but then found himself irrelevant in the aftermath.

Arguably everyone from the current iteration of galactic civilization is irrelevant at this point. The Oafans outgun everyone else (doubly so with Petey's forces drastically depleted), and the returned worldship residents outnumber everyone else (possibly by several orders of magnitude). The worldship residents are also sufficiently technologically advanced that probably everyone in the galaxy from the current civ is broke, not just Petey.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I was going to make a joke here about how I kept refreshing the site and nothing happened, but then something did happen.


As Petey's ending goes, I suspect that there are a few layers to it that I simply don't see yet. And unfortunately this board may not be the place to discuss them, as Petey was always a way to explore themes such as agency/free will in relation to a god. (Where Howard categorizes himself as a religious person, so it has never been as simple as "where we're going we don't need gods".) Add to that the general forced rushedness of the ending, because there were simply too many things that could be addressed in detail, and I get the feeling there are a few more things about Petey that Howard came up with and might have wanted to spell out but decided to leave implied instead, and not knowing his characters as well as he does I"m not seeing those things yet. But who knows, there might be a blog post or something about it months or years down the line, and I'll be able to make up my mind as to whether this was deep or not then.

[keybounce]

If that's actually the end, then oh yeah.

...

Bottom line: this doesn't feel like any sort of ending, it feels like the story just stopped.

"When this ends? There is no end. There's just when the story tellers stop."

Ok, that might not be an exact quote, but I suspect someone can dig up the exact strip and link it from that.

[keybounce]

So looking over the last book and a half, to try to recap what's been going on at high speed ...

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-06-29

Start of this book, and Schlock basically spells out what's going to happen over the book. Like perfect foreshadowing

I'm here to shoot someone. Or eat someone. Or both if I'm lucky.
You're here to arm me, aim me, and maybe tell me what not to shoot.

Shooting and/or eating dark matter beings.
What was he told not to shoot?

[Windscion]

"When this ends? There is no end. There's just when the story tellers stop."

Ok, that might not be an exact quote, but I suspect someone can dig up the exact strip and link it from that.

That's a Tarquin quote from OotS # 763.

[keybounce]

Link http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0763.html

This one comic explains why I like Tarquin so much as a villain. Or the whole way Rich turns the storytelling tropes on their head.

[keybounce]

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2019-09-20

Schlock shows how much he's grown in the tactical awareness and planning.

"I don't want you deploying with us. If we can't get TAD up, THEN we'll have you port over. Keep you out of the way until you're useful."

Not necessarily in diplomatic speech, but certainly in tactical planning.

[Mechalich]

Except stories actually do end. That's a thing that happens, even in ordinary history there are points in time when one conflict concludes and largely leaves the stage and then another conflict, probably with some different players, takes center stage. People really do retire and go home and not do anything nearly as interesting as what they did for the past 3-5 years for the rest of their lives.

The 'story' of Schlock Mercenary books 1-20 is the story of the end of the long period of peace introduced by the Ganni Project, and the subsequent build-up and outbreak of an incredibly ferocious war that resulted in the most significant realignment of demographics, economics, politics, and probably religions in-universe in literally billions of years.

It is extremely unlikely, on a statistical level, that any member of the core cast (which doesn't include ascended deities DM Schlock and Cephalopoid Ennesby) will ever do anything anywhere near as important as what they did during this conflict even with the prolonged longevity treatments they now have access to. The latter actually makes is less likely in many ways, since extreme longevity combined with dominance by millions of years old elder beings is likely to make society incredibly static. This point in the story, the defeat of the Pa'anuri, the return of the worldships, the adoption of immortality, and the emergence of the new gods, all represent a massive change in era. Sure, the graph doesn't actually stop but you'd be hard pressed to find a bigger discontinuity anywhere.

The universe of Schlock Mercenary, going forward, will not resemble the universe as it was (yes it may take some time to sort out, that's called the denouement) and in a very real sense that kind of stories that used to be possible to tell in that universe no longer will be.

[Squire Doodad]

The universe of Schlock Mercenary, going forward, will not resemble the universe as it was (yes it may take some time to sort out, that's called the denouement) and in a very real sense that kind of stories that used to be possible to tell in that universe no longer will be.

That is, up until you find the four-dimensional beings from beyond the edge of the visible universe with their world-searing omnilasers...

[keybounce]

Except stories actually do end. That's a thing that happens, even in ordinary history there are points in time when one conflict concludes and largely leaves the stage and then another conflict, probably with some different players, takes center stage. People really do retire and go home and not do anything nearly as interesting as what they did for the past 3-5 years for the rest of their lives.

But this is the point of history.

The conflict happens. It concludes. The nature of the conclusion makes group X unhappy, and they teach their children. Next generation, the children say "I'm continuing what my parents started".

This is repeated over and over.

What happens when Tarquin is defeated by his son? Why, his son becomes the big head honcho. And, we've had people seriously harmed by Tarquin's behavior, and they want revenge, so their children go after his son because that was how they were taught.

What happened when world war 1 ended? The horrible "We want vengeance for what you did", lead to economic disasters, lead to world war 2.

{Scrubbed}

[lord_khaine]

The universe of Schlock Mercenary, going forward, will not resemble the universe as it was (yes it may take some time to sort out, that's called the denouement) and in a very real sense that kind of stories that used to be possible to tell in that universe no longer will be.

Yeah this is kinda the problem for the universe now.
The old galactic powers are broken. The adults are back to enforce order.
And so the niche for mercenaries are more or less gone. It really wont be possible to tell the sort of stories it was possible to.

And yeah, perhaps the epiloge was a sad. Would have liked to know more about how stuff ended for more people besides an "and then they retired"

[TeChameleon]

Hrm...

While yes, the adults are coming back... it's a big galaxy... two big galaxies, even... and I suspect that the niche for mercenaries will never go away entirely. A bit like Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat, really. There's going to be a lot of restructuring, and I kind of doubt that the various worldship populations will want to give up their sovereignty entirely.

It'll be a bit like moving in with a roommate after living alone for a while. You've gotta learn to live together, and that's not gonna go smoothly. And when things are going 'not smoothly' between what's essentially two or more enormous nation-states, hey presto! Merc work.

[Mechalich]

While yes, the adults are coming back... it's a big galaxy... two big galaxies, even...

The universe of Schlock Mercenary is actually probably the smallest galaxy-scale universe that could be imagined, due to the transportation, communication, and weaponry technologies involved.

Hypernodes allow instantaneous transfer of functionally limitless information from any location of the galaxy to another, and this includes whole people.

The Teraport allows the instantaneous transfer of physical objects from one location to the next, though it is subject to power requirements and can be blocked (but suitably powerful entities, which includes all worldship residents who now significantly outnumber everyone else, can bypass this).

The Long Gun allows weapons to fire from any location at any other location and completely bypasses teraport area denial. This is the most significant problem for the universe remaining and can probably only be solved by instituting some sort of galaxy-wide panopticon (this is possible with enough drones, the same way the Oafans brute-force located the Shoemaker-Levy) so that anyone who fires a long gun can be immediately identified and restrained.

All of these technologies are serious impediments to telling any stories that don't involve characters who can directly mediate these technologies. It's a version of the Culture universe where the Minds are even more powerful than they are in that one, and telling stories about free-wheeling mercenary types is nearly impossible in a such a universe (Consider Phlebias, the first Culture book and the only one that deals with mercenary operations in any significant way, is the consensus weakest one by a massive margin).

[Kornaki]

I don't know. If everyone's in the middle of a nuclear Mexican standoff where the first time anyone fires a long gun everyone dies, isn't that where some mercenaries applying a lower level of violence potentially excel?

[factotum]

All of these technologies are serious impediments to telling any stories that don't involve characters who can directly mediate these technologies.

This reminds me of an interview I read with Larry Niven where he was talking about why he tended not to write Known Space novels anymore--it was simply that the tech had reached a level where it was hard to come up with storylines that didn't have an obvious solution. I mean, the place has at least two almost indestructible materials (General Products hulls and the "scrith" that the Ringworld is made from), ships that can accelerate at 200g without killing the people inside, ridiculous weapons like the Wunderland Treatymaker--he even lampshaded this in the short story "Safe At Any Speed", where a flying car is swallowed by a giant beast called a "roc" and the main problem the occupant had was passing the time while he waited to get out.

[JavaScribe]

This is the most significant problem for the universe remaining and can probably only be solved by instituting some sort of galaxy-wide panopticon (this is possible with enough drones, the same way the Oafans brute-force located the Shoemaker-Levy) so that anyone who fires a long gun can be immediately identified and restrained.
The Pa'anuri had something like that, which I presume now belongs to Ennesby.

[lord_khaine]

I don't know. If everyone's in the middle of a nuclear Mexican standoff where the first time anyone fires a long gun everyone dies, isn't that where some mercenaries applying a lower level of violence potentially excel?

I kinda suspect its more like the sort of place where mercenaries will go extinct.
Because basically, mercenaries are criminals when you boil it down. They do criminal stuff most of the time. Like breaking stuff and hurting people.
And so the more ordered the galaxy becomes, the less space/work there is for them.

Or well likely they could still survive as a security firm. Or pest control.
But it would i think, get increasingly harder to get away with doing illegal stuff on a larger scale.

[Max_Killjoy]

I kinda suspect its more like the sort of place where mercenaries will go extinct.
Because basically, mercenaries are criminals when you boil it down. They do criminal stuff most of the time. Like breaking stuff and hurting people.
And so the more ordered the galaxy becomes, the less space/work there is for them.

Or well likely they could still survive as a security firm. Or pest control.
But it would i think, get increasingly harder to get away with doing illegal stuff on a larger scale.

The comic already had drifted away from the Toughs as working in the questionably legal margins of the galactic system.

[lord_khaine]

The comic already had drifted away from the Toughs as working in the questionably legal margins of the galactic system.

Yes. They were for a large part relying on inertia and a galatic war to retain relevance.

Does not change that as the galaxy grows increasingly more ordered by the return of the exo-galatic civilisations, then the amount of mercenary work shrinks correspondingly.

[keybounce]

Mercenaries, Privateers, etc.

It's not "legally grey" if you have a government order.

[Windscion]

Mercenaries, Privateers, etc.

It's not "legally grey" if you have a government order.

International law is a thing. Also? If a gov't is using mercs, it is likely for murky stuff where they cannot (legally) use their own forces.

[lord_khaine]

And intergalactic law is likely to be enforced by the "adults", so there are suddenly someone to hold the younger nations accountable.
Its not going to remain like in the wild west.

[factotum]

Mercenaries, Privateers, etc.

It's not "legally grey" if you have a government order.

Unless, of course, you're acting in a location where the orders of that government don't apply, e.g. enemy territory--which is pretty much where privateers always acted, their job was to raid enemy shipping in a way that hopefully couldn't be traced back to the government giving the orders. It certainly wouldn't stop them getting hanged for piracy if they were caught.

[PraetorDragoon]

It was an ending. Not the most amazing, but it will do.

[lord_khaine]

Yeah. For more than a decade my morning ritual consisted of checking Schlock.
I am grateful for that. But an ending was likely a good thing.
Am curious to see what he does next.

[keybounce]

Well, shall we, as a group, do a "Consume one week review per day", or "consume one month review per week", and post new comments on old comics, and old plot complications; and boldly rehash what everyone has hashed-out before?

[Max_Killjoy]

Well, shall we, as a group, do a "Consume one week review per day", or "consume one month review per week", and post new comments on old comics, and old plot complications; and boldly rehash what everyone has hashed-out before?

It would certainly be interesting to look at some of those events with the benefit of hindsight and "future context".

[Lvl 2 Expert]

Well, shall we, as a group, do a "Consume one week review per day", or "consume one month review per week", and post new comments on old comics, and old plot complications; and boldly rehash what everyone has hashed-out before?

We could spend the next 2 decades pretending it's exactly 20 years ago.

I think they're going to pillage, then blow up diplomats (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-08-04).

A side observation from not 20 years ago by the way: the very first page still links to book 12 (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2010-11-29) as a pretty good place to start, which in the end ended up being pretty close to the middle of the whole run. (Also I personally figure some of the all time best story lines happen just before that point, but that's just me.)

[keybounce]

My recommendation to others is to start at book 10, and to make sense of that, start with the last week of 9 (the epilogue) so you understand what's going on at the start of 10.

[DeTess]

So, I was just randomly going through the back-log, and came across this one: https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-01

That's... quite some foreshadowing for an april fool's joke.

[Lvl 2 Expert]

So, I was just randomly going through the back-log, and came across this one: https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2002-04-01

That's... quite some foreshadowing for an april fool's joke.

Yeah, it feels like the author had a legitimate interest in these themes since the beginning, but no good direction to take them in. On top of this there was the medical hologram copied from the doctor as well as the Doythaban plot.

[Squire Doodad]

My recommendation to others is to start at book 10, and to make sense of that, start with the last week of 9 (the epilogue) so you understand what's going on at the start of 10.

So at about this page (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-16)?

Where should I fine tune it to best get someone to start reading it and enjoy it?

[Kornaki]

What's wrong with starting at the start?

[factotum]

What's wrong with starting at the start?

Have you seen the artwork on the early strips recently? Let's just say, Howard definitely improved over time!

[Lvl 2 Expert]

So at about this page (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-16)?

Where should I fine tune it to best get someone to start reading it and enjoy it?

The epilogue keybounce mentioned starts here (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-25).


What's wrong with starting at the start?

I love the early strips. But there are some marked differences in style between them and the later stuff. There's faster pacing in the stories, but due to the developing art style few convincing action shots, and a bigger emphasis on punny and "immature" humor rather than philosophical inclinations and overarching story lines. The characters are written consistently, but due to how the comic developed are no longer really consistent with their later selves.

So while I wouldn't want to have missed the early bits, they may not be for everyone and it's good to have al alternative.

Another good starting point may be the start of book 6 (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-12). This starts you off at the point where Petey starts doing his Petey thing, and it means you get to read stuff like the "stuck on a primitive planet with amnesia and jeopards" story line. This is probably my recommendation for a middle road between decent art and not missing too much of the best stuff.

Or if you're just looking to skip past the really early stuff and get to some larger plot lines maybe the start of book 2 (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-11-11). (The first story there isn't the best ever, but it's Schlock's origin story. Afterwards it picks up with the teraport wars and the bits where they ride the small Serial Peacemaker with Ennesby as the pilot.)

[keybounce]

Odd, did the division between part 4 and the epilogue change?

I was thinking along the lines of
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-17
or
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-21

But absolutely keeping the whole "Schlock knows the truth and is hiding it", along with a quick introduction to the killing machine that Schlock is.

The archive page no longer lists an explicit epilogue section, and the "thanks for the memories" section begins on the 10th, about 2 and a half weeks before the end of the book.

Ahh yes, book 10 starts with:
Kevyn: Next time you hear somebody say "I wouldn't do that for all the nickels in Jupiter," you'll know they probably can't be bought.

When do we hear that line again? :-)

[Rockphed]

Odd, did the division between part 4 and the epilogue change?

I was thinking along the lines of
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-17
or
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-02-21

But absolutely keeping the whole "Schlock knows the truth and is hiding it", along with a quick introduction to the killing machine that Schlock is.

The archive page no longer lists an explicit epilogue section, and the "thanks for the memories" section begins on the 10th, about 2 and a half weeks before the end of the book.

Ahh yes, book 10 starts with:
Kevyn: Next time you hear somebody say "I wouldn't do that for all the nickels in Jupiter," you'll know they probably can't be bought.

When do we hear that line again? :-)

I want to say we hear it during the beginning of the Can Full of Sky, but I can't find it there.

[Squire Doodad]

I want to say we hear it during the beginning of the Can Full of Sky, but I can't find it there.

I think it's when Pranger or maybe one of his men refuses a job offer.

[HorizonWalker]

I want to say we hear it during the beginning of the Can Full of Sky, but I can't find it there.

Nope. Massively Parallel, when Petey tries to hire Pranger to rescue K-Prime.

[keybounce]

I think it's when Pranger or maybe one of his men refuses a job offer.

Yep. But I couldn't find it either :-).

[smuchmuch]

The stip wth Pranger using it as an expression is indeed at the start of Massively Parallel (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2009-03-05)

And the bit with Kevin at the start of The Longshoreman of the Apocalypse (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2008-03-01)

(.. which was in 2008. .. darn I feel old.)

[Lvl 2 Expert]

I love the early strips. But there are some marked differences in style between them and the later stuff. There's faster pacing in the stories, but due to the developing art style few convincing action shots, and a bigger emphasis on punny and "immature" humor rather than philosophical inclinations and overarching story lines. The characters are written consistently, but due to how the comic developed are no longer really consistent with their later selves.

So while I wouldn't want to have missed the early bits, they may not be for everyone and it's good to have al alternative.

Another good starting point may be the start of book 6 (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-09-12). This starts you off at the point where Petey starts doing his Petey thing, and it means you get to read stuff like the "stuck on a primitive planet with amnesia and jeopards" story line. This is probably my recommendation for a middle road between decent art and not missing too much of the best stuff.

Or if you're just looking to skip past the really early stuff and get to some larger plot lines maybe the start of book 2 (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-11-11). (The first story there isn't the best ever, but it's Schlock's origin story. Afterwards it picks up with the teraport wars and the bits where they ride the small Serial Peacemaker with Ennesby as the pilot.)

I'm doing yet another reread right now, and want to revise the above recommendations. Book 2 is good, but it's stylistically so close to book 1 and story wise such a continuation of the same line of stuff getting established about the setting that you might as well start at the beginning if you're going that far back anyway. Book 6 is a good starting point if you don't want to start at the beginning, but it's also about a big upset story wise. For that reason I'd recommend starting a bit before that in book 5, right after the CSi parody (https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-05-31) (which is so disconnected from the rest of the comic that in context it's one of the least enjoyable parts anyway, so it makes for an excellent cutoff point). Starting at this exact point (Book 5, Part III: Handle With Care, 31st of May 2004) gives you one story to get caught up on the status quo and who the main characters are and then drops you into what's essentially the prologue to book 6. This is also where Petey becomes, well, Petey, so that major setting element is covered too.

[keybounce]

OK, time to organize the re-read party. It's mid october now; how about 10 days (next weekend), and then discuss book 1? Is that too ambitious?

[Max_Killjoy]

OK, time to organize the re-read party. It's mid october now; how about 10 days (next weekend), and then discuss book 1? Is that too ambitious?

Sounds like more than enough time for me, I've re-read the entire strip from start to current in two days a few times in the past.

[keybounce]

So far it's been too ambitious for me (sadface). Need to make time / higher priority, waiting for free time isn't working.

[keybounce]

Speaking of "Eat it", what does he do with his biological waste, and why has it taken me this long to ask about him going to the bathroom?

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-14

And I find myself wanting some of those warning signs:
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-25

(Especially the naked singularity)

And the very first mission was intentionally flubbed, without any mention of a cancellation fee, or being in default, etc.
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-28

Also, I am amazed that he can swallow you, and either keep you safe and unharmed, or dissolve/digest you, at will. I'm suddenly thinking of all sorts of vore fetishes ...

[tyckspoon]

Speaking of "Eat it", what does he do with his biological waste, and why has it taken me this long to ask about him going to the bathroom?

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-14

Anything he can't actually simply digest and repurpose he appears to just spit out and deposit with regular trash.. but the list of 'things Schlock can't digest' is very, very short, and seems to be largely limited to like PTUs and nanobots or other devices that are specifically trying to attack him (and he can put up a good fight on those.) Would be similar to owls and other creatures that have highly efficient digestive systems, where there is little to no excrement and they just spit back out whatever they can't actually digest. Everything else.. well, amorphs are ridiculously good at converting what they eat into more amorph. I don't think there *is* such a thing as amorph biological waste, not that any other kind of organic life would recognize. There probably is a general coating of .. uh.. Schlock-dust, composed of the outer bits of him that necessarily get worn away by the general environment, but that's not much different to the organic dust generated by humans. And presumably most other creatures that naturally grow skin, fur, feathers, and hair (Esperrerin probably don't make dust unless they want to.)

[keybounce]

(I had some edits to my last post, you might want to go back and re-read)

I find it interesting that Der Trihs, who is a red shirt, was not seen anywhere down on the planet (last seen on the ship during the attorney negotiations), yet still lost an arm.

https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-06-30

EDIT: And yep, breach of contract is mentioned once back on the ship.
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-07-01

And, a hand-mounted Tear Apart? I don't recall THAT gun ever being fired.
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-07-07

Finally (for tonight), I want to give points for "getting stuff past the radar/sensors".
https://www.schlockmercenary.com/2000-07-09
But seriously:
1. What is an "iMAC"?
2. How would a single small being's explosive cloud be that big?