Stupidly useful magic item ideas

[moonfly7]

I'm prepping for the start of my new game and I'm wanting a larger than normal selection of strange but useful magic items for a ridiculous recurring character who sells them. Here are some examples of what he has to get your ideas rolling on the right track:
A wand of 10,000 possibilities using the random spell effect codex.
An unfoldable greatsword
Variant dust's of drying that effect other elements in the same way, IE one absorbs fire one absorbs electricity etcetera.
A helm of hamster telepathy
A shield of insults
A returning spear that has 2 heads so when it comes back you have to make a dex save or be impaled
Arrows of sticking, if you get hit with one you can't get it out, ever. Unless you cut the flesh around it off of you.
So that's the kind of weird stuff he's got, I'll be grateful for any ideas you have.

[Zhorn]

definitely go for those oots misspelled comics.

Scroll of Meatier Swarm: functions like create food/water, but it's only meat, and it manifests as a hail of comical projectiles.
https://i.giantitp.com/bcx/Misspelled002.gif

[nickl_2000]

From something I wrote awhile back. This was wielded by an evil Dwarven Slaver

Whip of Encouragement
Whenever you attack with the whip you may shout "try harder you lazy scum" and the whip will cast the guidance spell as a cantrip on the target. This lasts the normal duration of the guidance spell, but does not require concentration. Once per short rest, you may shout an insult as you hit with the whip. The next time the hit target makes a roll with a d20, it will have the total reduced by 1d6.

[sandmote]

I have a soft spot for variants of the Belt of Dwarvenkind. Fake feet for halflings, or a pelt for bugbears.

Arrows of Immobility that act like the equivalent rod for 1 minute after striking something
Book of Vile Shadows, which looks like a tome of dark secrets but only lets you move shadows threateningly.
Headband of Apparent Intellect that gives on bonus on charisma checks to appear smart.

I've also written a potion of stench and a tincture of addlemindedness (https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?611090-Expanded-Low-Level-Potions) for if the party tries to bully or steal from shops. Might work as "freebies," if they try to bully the seller.


Whip of Encouragement
Whenever you attack with the whip you may shout "try harder you lazy scum" and the whip will cast the guidance spell as a cantrip on the target. This lasts the normal duration of the guidance spell, but does not require concentration. Once per short rest, you may shout an insult as you hit with the whip. The next time the hit target makes a roll with a d20, it will have the total reduced by 1d6.
Where there's a whip there's a way?

[moonfly7]

I have a soft spot for variants of the Belt of Dwarvenkind. Fake feet for halflings, or a pelt for bugbears.

Arrows of Immobility that act like the equivalent rod for 1 minute after striking something
Book of Vile Shadows, which looks like a tome of dark secrets but only lets you move shadows threateningly.
Headband of Apparent Intellect that gives on bonus on charisma checks to appear smart.

I've also written a potion of stench and a tincture of addlemindedness (https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?611090-Expanded-Low-Level-Potions) for if the party tries to bully or steal from shops. Might work as "freebies," if they try to bully the seller.


Where there's a whip there's a way?

I'm borrowing the headband of apparent intellect.

[nickl_2000]

Where there's a whip there's a way?

Bonus if you can use it as a bard and sing "whip it good" at the same time