The Fury's Book Club-- Reading Cursed World: Initial Sparks

[The Fury]

Hello, everyone and welcome to my first ever book club meeting. Here's how we're doing this-- I'll be reading and discussing a book chapter by chapter and I encourage anyone that wants to to follow along. Of course, use spoiler tags especially if you read ahead. On that note, first up is Cursed World: Initial Sparks by Aya McHugh, AKA LaZodiac. Yep, that's right. Our LaZodiac. So, have a seat and a nice chardonnay, and let's dig in.

In our first Chapter we meet our protagonist Rei Scios as she goes to high school on a day that two new transfer students arrive. We also meet her friend Verde and of course the transfer students Kestrel and Ella. Rei is assigned the task of acclimating Kestrel to the school and Verde is assigned to do the same for Ella. During lunch, Rei and Verde talk with Ella and Kestrel and learn more about them. As it turns out, Kestrel is very quiet. Almost guarded. Ella meanwhile, seems very friendly and forthcoming. During lunch, Ella offers to read Rei's palm. Rei allows this, but a tiny spark results. Whether this was a static shock or fire is left somewhat vague, but it does leave a scorch mark on Rei's hand.

Like most first chapters, this mostly serves as an introduction to the characters and the world in which they inhabit. So doing a rundown of characters seems a good place to start.

Firstly our hero, Rei-- she seems like a likable, relatable protagonist. Maybe a little lost in her own head, and slightly spacey, but I relate to that. Rei briefly interacts with her mother during a rushed breakfast, but it's clear that the two have a healthy, loving relationship. Which honestly kind of feels refreshing. When Rei is smitten with Kestrel on meeting him, she manages to carry on a conversation but is clearly shy and second-guessing herself. Which y'know... relatable.

Next, Verde. We don't get to know her quite as well as Rei yet. She's implied to have been Rei's friend for some time and despite having a lot of snark does a good job at reigning in Rei's spacey tendencies. Not much else to say about her yet. Though apparently she either plays video games with Rei or knows about Rei's gaming habits.

Ella is one of our two transfer students. She comes off as very elegant, very proper and has something of an eye for detail. She can also put away a lot of food, as evidenced by her getting a big tray of lunch. We also probably learn most about the setting from her, which makes sense as she's established as being more curious about the world around her. She also carries an umbrella with an embroidered depiction of an old fable sewn on the inside, which she shows to the others by opening it at the lunch table, (didn't anyone ever teach you that it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors, Ella?) Ella explains that the fable is about appearances being deceiving.

Lastly, we have Kestrel. I assume the least important seeing as he's the only one not depicted on the cover. Not much has been said about Kestrel yet, aside from how he makes Rei feel. If you've ever had a conversation with a boy you have a crush on, that's pretty much the gist. Unfortunately for Rei, she seems to be most of the work in these conversations. Kestrel keeps his answers pretty vague and doesn't open up much. Whether this is because he's shy or otherwise not ready to share much about himself, or if he's deliberately hiding something is not yet clear.

We're also introduced to the setting, which despite appearing like modern North America, is not. So far multiple Provinces have been mentioned, including the one where we're starting Dulace in the north which is quite cold. Exova, in the south, which is implied to have an impressive fashion scene. Kaiga in the west is mentioned in passing, Verde mentions that people tend to assume that Rei is from there, because her name "sounds foreign." Verde herself is mentioned being from the Hub, which presumably is at the geographical center.

Join me soon for Chapter Two, won't you?

[LaZodiac]

It probably goes without saying but I'm definitely following this thread with an extreme excitement. I hope you (and everyone else) enjoy!

[DataNinja]

I, too, will be following along... but also probably not saying much, given that, well, I don't want to taint any impressions, even inadvertently. I always like watching readalongs, though. People tend to be a lot more analytic about stuff and perceptive than I am. :smalltongue:

[Mith]

I'll chime in with thoughts every so often, but right now my discussion on this book is emailing LaZodiac points about worldbuilding going "IS THIS A CLUE?!"

Sadly all caps isn't that much of an exaggeration.

Basically, I will have to filter my own contributions to potentially avoid details that may be a little series spoilery (nothing definite, but uncertain about having that out in public discussion vs. keeping as a brain storming thoughts).

But this thread is a good excuse for another re-read.

[LaZodiac]

As long as it is within the current chapter I imagine any theory crafting is okay to be mentioned, just keep it in spoilers like Fury said. If I've said/confirmed something in an incidental PM, just avoid saying that stuff is definitive.

[Mith]

As long as it is within the current chapter I imagine any theory crafting is okay to be mentioned, just keep it in spoilers like Fury said. If I've said/confirmed something in an incidental PM, just avoid saying that stuff is definitive.

That's fair. It's more a long winded way of saying "I am following and will chime in every so often, but may be passing on some topics since I don't want to **** up anywhere to be safe."

But I will say as a general note: My favourite character in the book is introduced in the first chapter. :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

Just so we're clear-- chiming in is not just allowed, but encouraged. It wouldn't be much of a thread if it was just me yappin' and recappin'.

I don't especially mind people reading ahead and using that to theorycraft, just so long as you use spoiler tags that indicate that's what you're doing. Within reason, of course. Using content from five or six chapters ahead of me to share your theories might be questionable. I'm keeping the rules sort of loosey-goosey for now.

[Lord Raziere]

I'll give this book a shot. I've been a little starved for good fantasy reading, and I think my birthdays a good time to start something new as well get more use of my Kindle app. just don't be surprised when I go through the entire thing in like, a couple days tops, I'm a huge bookworm.


Our protagonist: Rei, the setting a small town that kind of reminds me of where I live- wait, burn marks?

Knight of the Stars? this world's star wars I guess.

So we got Rei, Verde, Ella and a crush. okay. yeah, this seems a little too love at first sight, since I know magic's involved...

Exova? Trestaria? ooooooh this is an entirely different yet modern world. I like this. too many urban fantasy set things on actual Earth, we need more custom modern worlds instead of medieval ones.

hm, it seems Rei's a fire mage. and she can't really control it? emotions = fueling the flames? makes sense, its a common fire user thing in fiction.

[DataNinja]

Just so we're clear-- chiming in is not just allowed, but encouraged. It wouldn't be much of a thread if it was just me yappin' and recappin'.

I don't especially mind people reading ahead and using that to theorycraft, just so long as you use spoiler tags that indicate that's what you're doing. Within reason, of course. Using content from five or six chapters ahead of me to share your theories might be questionable. I'm keeping the rules sort of loosey-goosey for now.

Yeah, I just feel like I can't really say anything that doesn't invoke spoiler-y stuff, given that I've read it through several revisions worth of stuff and know external information. So I am very liable to say something that might not appear until later in the text. Granted, not really much that's spoilable with just commenting on what's been established already, but... I don't want to inadvertently say something that ruins the experience later on.

[Mith]

Gave it a quick re-read

I love the start to this book. I think it drops you neatly into the flow of "normal life".
Rei having trouble with remembering details works well with filling the reader in on details and dynamics of the world.

[LaZodiac]

I'll give this book a shot. I've been a little starved for good fantasy reading, and I think my birthdays a good time to start something new as well get more use of my Kindle app. just don't be surprised when I go through the entire thing in like, a couple days tops, I'm a huge bookworm.


Our protagonist: Rei, the setting a small town that kind of reminds me of where I live- wait, burn marks?

Knight of the Stars? this world's star wars I guess.

So we got Rei, Verde, Ella and a crush. okay. yeah, this seems a little too love at first sight, since I know magic's involved...

Exova? Trestaria? ooooooh this is an entirely different yet modern world. I like this. too many urban fantasy set things on actual Earth, we need more custom modern worlds instead of medieval ones.

hm, it seems Rei's a fire mage. and she can't really control it? emotions = fueling the flames? makes sense, its a common fire user thing in fiction.


I'm actually going to bring this up because it is amusing to me specifically; Knights of the Stars is not a Star Wars reference, it is a Saint Seiya (or, in english, Knights of the Zodiac) reference. LEO FANTASY! SAINT SEIYA~ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu533OKYHyc). Suffice to say, this will get elaborated on later to be made clearer, so I don't fault you for thinking that. It's interesting a read~

also, happy birthday Raziere! I hope you have a good one, and I hope the book serves you well.

[The Fury]

I'll give this book a shot. I've been a little starved for good fantasy reading, and I think my birthdays a good time to start something new as well get more use of my Kindle app. just don't be surprised when I go through the entire thing in like, a couple days tops, I'm a huge bookworm.

If you read faster than me, that's alright. I'm going to stick to the "chapter a day" format as best I can because I feel like that's a pace that new people can catch up with if they want to pick up this book and start reading too. Also, hey, yeah! Happy birthday!



Our protagonist: Rei, the setting a small town that kind of reminds me of where I live- wait, burn marks?

Knight of the Stars? this world's star wars I guess.

So we got Rei, Verde, Ella and a crush. okay. yeah, this seems a little too love at first sight, since I know magic's involved...

Exova? Trestaria? ooooooh this is an entirely different yet modern world. I like this. too many urban fantasy set things on actual Earth, we need more custom modern worlds instead of medieval ones.

hm, it seems Rei's a fire mage. and she can't really control it? emotions = fueling the flames? makes sense, its a common fire user thing in fiction.


I guess Zodi has already mentioned that Knights of the Stars is more like Saint Seiya. Though the Verde mentions Rei "playing" it, so it seems like it's more of a game franchise than a movie one. Maybe there's a manga or an anime though.

So with regards to Rei's crush on Kestrel... Is magic involved here? I'm not discounting the possibility, but I wasn't given much reason to think this is the case. Then again, I wouldn't describe it as "love at first sight" either. To me it seems more that Rei saw Kestrel and thought he was hot.

Now, let's dive into Chapter Two and see what's what!

Chapter two opens with Rei and Verde in computer class, in which we learn two things-- Rei is bi! She's also only out to Verde, which y'know, valid. After all, choosing when to come out and to whom is something that pretty much every LGBTQIA person needs to contend with at some point.

Secondly, little events with sparks and fire are apparently not new to Rei. This is something that has her understandably spooked. Especially since she uses her time in computer class to read articles about ONY (a worldwide manufacturing corporation mentioned earlier as "[making] everything,") funding underground think-tanks looking into the supernatural, and a woman with similar fiery traits to Rei accidently burning down a dance club.

This also fleshes out Rei's and Verde's friendship. Evidently Rei is sort of emotional and scattershot, while Verde is more level-headed and rational. Speaking as a very scatterbrained, emotional person, having someone like Verde is comforting. Having someone that's willing to listen, while being sympathetic yet willing to question your fears makes them feel more manageable. At least for me. Going by some of Verde's lines in the rest of the scene, it seems like she's friends with Rei because she finds her an exciting person to be around? I'm only guessing here.

We're also introduced to our resident mean girl, Chloe. Chloe catches wind of Rei pining for Kestrel and uses this opportunity to be catty while claiming to be Rei's friend. She's also got it for Kestrel... I guess Kestrel is just effortlessly sexy?

Later Rei and Verde, along with Ella decide to explore the burnt out club that Rei had read about in computer class. The former club is a burnt ruin in a run-down neighborhood. This is where we get to see another side to Ella. In her earlier scene, Ella comes off as very suave, smart and confident. Here, exploring an abandoned shell of a building with people she doesn't know very well, she's nervous. I can only guess that Ella isn't the sort of kid that would act out or do anything illegal.

Ultimately, Rei is the only one to actually jump the barricade and approach the building. She doesn't go inside though. She touches the door, which results in another "spark event." Again, it's described and experienced by the characters in a way that gives enough plausible deniability. In the end, our trio heads home having learned not much of anything.

But... There were a "pair of blue eyes" watching from inside the boarded up ruin of the burnt dance club. This person evidently could see the "spark event" for what it was-- actual fire. Which hey, Rei is on the cover shooting fire out of her hand, it would be stranger if she didn't have fire powers. Who is this person? Hard to say. The text refers to him as a "he," so it's probably not Chloe, and Kestrel's eyes were described as brown. It's likely that "Blue Eyes" is a character that has not yet been properly introduced. There's also the question of why Blue Eyes can clearly see Rei's power for what it is, while the others can't. Even Rei herself has doubts about what she's experiencing. However, Blue Eyes does not seem to be a friend. Seeing as how he lives in a dark condemned ruin of a dance club and didn't see fit to be especially helpful.

Next time, we'll go over Chapter Three. Won't you join me?

[LaZodiac]

Regarding love at first sight; "wow that guy is made sexy" is a former of love at first sight, for a given definition of the term love :smalltongue:

And for Chapter Two: This might be me being too much of a worry wart, but the intent with ye olde Blue Eyes seeing things that our heroes did not is because of a difference in focus. Rei just had her fear receptors explode and her friends were busy paying more attention to Rei, not the things around her.

I'm going to try and NOT clarify points like this in a response in the future, because typically I want the work to speak for itself, but this felt like something I could bring up and have it be interesting. I know it's interesting to me!

[DataNinja]

Regarding love at first sight; "wow that guy is made sexy" is a former of love at first sight, for a given definition of the term love :smalltongue:

And/or "That girl is really, really cute." Guys don't have a monopoly on that. :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

And for Chapter Two: This might be me being too much of a worry wart, but the intent with ye olde Blue Eyes seeing things that our heroes did not is because of a difference in focus. Rei just had her fear receptors explode and her friends were busy paying more attention to Rei, not the things around her.

I'm going to try and NOT clarify points like this in a response in the future, because typically I want the work to speak for itself, but this felt like something I could bring up and have it be interesting. I know it's interesting to me!

Yeah, that seemed like one possibility. Even in stories with magic and strange things lurking in the shadows, sometimes there's a perfectly mundane explanation.

[Lord Raziere]

Faster doesn't being to describe it, Fury. I use Stormlight Archives books as airport fiction and even then I have to careful about when and balance it with playing videogames and reading fan fiction, because I'll just devour them like nothing. I've already read very far ahead, I'm just restricting my comments to match yours out of respect to spoilers.


Yeah ONY is seemingly omnipresent. its kind of creepy

Verde is good friend. best friend. she is the bestie that Rei deserves.

Yeah this is basically Rei having her reckless protagonist moment where she sticks her nose where it doesn't belong out of curiosity and it leading to more stuff. Rei isn't the wisest decision m maker as all protagonists of her type tend to be.

Ella's good to. bit formal, but she is a good egg.

I think I have a theory on/know who burned down the club actually, but thats future knowledge.

As for Blue Eyes, Kestrel and Chloe....I'm not saying anything on them yet.

[LaZodiac]

I think my favorite thing about watching people experience media (especially when said media is my own creation) is watching them slowly develop a favorite character.

Something tells me Raziere's got one in mind already :smallamused:

[Lord Raziere]

I think my favorite thing about watching people experience media (especially when said media is my own creation) is watching them slowly develop a favorite character.

Something tells me Raziere's got one in mind already :smallamused:

Maybe. maybe not. you won't know until later chapters are talked about. I can't say yet. I've finished this book, I have to be careful as you or Data Ninja. if you can really tell just from that post, props you know me but I'm not saying it. you have to guess at this point. say a name no context, I'll tell if your right or not, but I will not say why until the appropriate chapter comes.

[LaZodiac]

Maybe. maybe not. you won't know until later chapters are talked about. I can't say yet. I've finished this book, I have to be careful as you or Data Ninja. if you can really tell just from that post, props you know me but I'm not saying it. you have to guess at this point. say a name no context, I'll tell if your right or not, but I will not say why until the appropriate chapter comes.

Very enigmatic. I'm going to just wait :smallamused:

[The Fury]

Now let's get into Chapter Three. This one's a doozy!

As Rei, Verde and Ella leave the burnt out dance club, they briefly discuss a broken space heater that Verde has been tinkering with. I've not discussed ONY much, but now seems like a good time to get into what they are. As far back as Chapter one, ONY Manufacturing has been mentioned as "making everything." At this point, it's becoming clear that statement is not hyperbole. Not only does ONY have a monopoly on nearly everything, but they are also a company that guards their engineering secrets so closely that no one understands how to repair their products when they break. Of course, they also believe in planned obsolescence. Verde's space heater was built by ONY as well, and evidently uses some proprietary technology that Verde doesn't quite understand.

This brief detail is actually a good characterization moment for Verde. If Verde just wanted a working space heater the others mention that there are easier ways to get one-- either send it back to ONY for repair or get a replacement. For Verde though, neither is good enough because she doesn't want a working space heater as much as she wants to understand how it works.

After Ella gets teased a little about her overly formal way of speaking, and a brief mention that Rei is sort of a Japanese Kaigan pop culture enthusiast, the trio run into Kestrel again. In typical form, Kestrel doesn't give up much about himself and mentions that he's out trying to get a feel for his neighborhood.

Now about Kestrel... he seems like a guy that specifically is not saying things about himself if that makes sense. So far he's only said brief things about himself which raise further questions which he avoids answering. He said that he works out because he "likes to stay fit... just in case."
In case of what is deliberately not answered.
Kestrel has also mentioned that his parents work for ONY's marketing department, considering that ONY holds a monopoly on products as diverse as cars and space heaters, it's easy to assume that his parents are probably rich. Yet they moved to the neighborhood with the burnt dance club, which is described as dirty and run down. Kestrel says that it's more affordable and his parents want to be closer to their work. OK. That seems to make sense, but it still seems like Kestrel's parents could afford to live in a nicer neighborhood if they wanted, and what sort of marketing work is done in a sketchy part of town? ONY might be moving to gentrify the neighborhood or something, I guess. Though the fact that Kestrel seems to be playing his cards close to the chest makes it seem like there's more at work here.

For her part, Rei heads back to the dance club alone. Once there, she starts to find evidence of her powers actually being what they seem to be. The barricade she jumped over is distorted from heat damage and has small dents that fit her fingers, suggesting that she did it. There is also a scorch mark from where she touched the club's door and had her "spark event." Rei also notices that a board from the window is now missing. After being unsuccessful at removing the boards from the door, she crawls in through the window. Inside the burnt club is predictably spooky. Maybe derelict buildings just make me feel this way, but I got some Silent Hill vibes from this. And of course, anything that recalls a horror franchise should have a monster, so one shows up. It's an especially nasty monster too-- a skeletal beast made of red crystal which drains the blood of its victims in order to grow flesh! It looks like Rei might meet a nasty end until someone shows up to pound Red Crystal's skull into the floor. It's Blue Eyes!

Now that we can see Blue Eyes in better detail, we learn more about who he is-- a shirtless man that's apparently tangled with something before. That is if his poorly treated injuries are anything to go by. Even though he's been injured he declines Rei's offer to get him to a doctor, but does accept help and allows Rei to patch him up as Red Crystal's corpse disolves to dust. For his part, Blue Eyes is much more forthcoming than someone like Kestrel. Blue Eyes doesn't say much substantial, but it also seems like he doesn't know much. From what he's said, he's spent time in and out of hospitals, running from place to place, seeking shelter where he can find it. Surviving seems to be the number one thing on Blue Eyes's agenda. He does call Rei a "mancer" though, which seems to confirm that he knows what Rei is better than Rei herself does. Blue Eyes also reveals his name-- Gamma.

A final thought for this chapter, I glossed over the details of the articles that Rei was reading back in Chapter Two. Mostly for the sake of brevity, though brevity has gone out the window with this post. One of the articles mentioned a Dulacean farmer finding a red bone fragment that dissolved into ash overnight. This foreshadowed the existence of creatures like Red Crystal. Which might make details like this interesting to revisit.

Next is Chapter Four! I'll try not to be such a bore!

(No idea how long I'm going to keep up this rhyming.)

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah I kind of started noticing that not a lot was known about Kestrel after a while compared to everyone else to. I think you were faster though. Why? who knows with mysterious heartthrob introverts like him, Sasuke Uchiha, or that one vampire guy from Twilight?

As for Gamma, I don't think its too hard to figure what he is, given the setting. I basically guessed it right away.

the red skeleton and his flesh thing, I'm going to be honest is the part that caught me by surprise, because up until this point I was under the highly mistaken impression that Zodi had written a happy harry potter like series of wonder but NOPE! turns magic can be horrifying and dangerous.

and mancers....thats something for later.

[LaZodiac]

the red skeleton and his flesh thing, I'm going to be honest is the part that caught me by surprise, because up until this point I was under the highly mistaken impression that Zodi had written a happy harry potter like series of wonder but NOPE! turns magic can be horrifying and dangerous.



Chapter 3: I really do appreciate how people have all had consistent reactions to this particular moment. Good way of telling I did something right :smallamused:

[The Fury]

Yeah I kind of started noticing that not a lot was known about Kestrel after a while compared to everyone else to. I think you were faster though. Why? who knows with mysterious heartthrob introverts like him, Sasuke Uchiha, or that one vampire guy from Twilight?

As for Gamma, I don't think its too hard to figure what he is, given the setting. I basically guessed it right away.

the red skeleton and his flesh thing, I'm going to be honest is the part that caught me by surprise, because up until this point I was under the highly mistaken impression that Zodi had written a happy harry potter like series of wonder but NOPE! turns magic can be horrifying and dangerous.

and mancers....thats something for later.


Despite Gamma being "easy" to figure out, I still don't know quite what his deal is. I have a pretty thinly sketched idea but that's about it. Then again, I don't make it a secret that I'm kind of dumb.

What I do know is that something definitely is after Gamma. Something definitely hurt him. Unlike Rei and the others it's clear that he knows about the supernatural, maybe this is the reason something's out to get him? My thought is that Red Crystal was after Gamma, not Rei and she just happened to get caught up in the mess. As for other details... Maybe Gamma's mention of being in and out of hospitals is related? It could be that he wasn't there for medical treatment, but rather he was experimented on. Maybe ONY was involved?

I don't know if something like Red Crystal was necessarily "shocking" for me. Beyond this being a YA Fantasy I wasn't sure what to expect. That said, Red Crystal is pretty horrifying. It drains blood and uses it to grow flesh onto its bare bones! If that's not bad enough, Gamma's comments and the article that Rei read suggest that there are others like it out there! That's some quality nightmare fuel.

As for "mancers" ...I'm pretty sure Gamma means "magic users." Of course what that is tends to be heavily setting dependent, So we'll wait and see.

[LaZodiac]

It is so satisfying to read these thoughts. I'm already anticipating the next couple chapters~

[The Fury]

Time to dig into Chapter Four!

Our chapter begins with Rei where we last left her. As she leaves the burnt dance club, her mind processes what she's just experienced. She collapses and screams in panic. Thankfully Verde isn't far away and comes running along with Ella, the latter of whom bought an unhealthy amount of candy bars. As mentioned previously, Verde is a good friend and is always looking out for Rei, so it's not surprising that she's worried. Rei... either doesn't expect Verde to believe what just happened or doesn't want her to be concerned and lies rather unconvincingly. Even forgetting that her initial justification for going back towards the club was to get Kestrel's phone number. For her part, Verde doesn't press the issue. Even though she probably suspects that something's up.

Rei makes it home safely where her mother is fixing dinner. While Rei is home much later than she is normally, her mother, Aria isn't angry and is very understanding. When asked about her reason for being late... Rei lies, saying she lost track of time. Now, just to be clear I'm not throwing Rei under the bus or anything. I wouldn't expect that Aria would believe things like a red skeleton that grows flesh by draining a victim's blood. And knowing that your daughter is trespassing in condemned dance clubs would be a shock to even a tolerant parent like Aria. Rei justifies her lie to herself by thinking that Aria is "averse to danger." This a very teenager sort of rationalization. Now, by that I mean sometimes teenagers understand that parents worry, but maybe don't fully comprehend why. While I'm not a parent, I still know what it's like to feel protective of someone. Knowing that someone you care about is in trouble and you're completely powerless to do anything is a terrifying thought, and I feel like this is something parents deal with a lot.
As Aria remains ignorant of things like Gamma, Red Crystal, and the burnt dance club, their conversation remains fairly light. Aria teasing Rei over her crush on Kestrel, and the two watch a horror movie together.

After this Rei plays some online matches of Knights of the Stars, in a rather hammy fashion. It was previously mentioned that she'll be competing in an upcoming tournament.

Our chapter closes on Aria finishing up some paperwork, (it's been mentioned that she works from home,) and checking in on Rei at around 2:00 am. Rei has fallen asleep on the floor playing video games. Aria lifts Rei up and puts her in bed, tidies up a little... and makes a note of the burn mark on the carpet in Rei's room. Aria briefly regards her wedding photo on the wall. Aria is pictured with a man named Samson. Aria says, "I wish you could see her."

Up until now, it was not clear if Aria was a single parent or not. This seems to confirm that she is. And Samson not being able to see Rei suggests that Aria is widowed, rather than divorced.

Next is Chapter Five. If indeed I'm still alive!

[Lord Raziere]

One would think even a tolerant parent would be concerned about a burn mark near their child, but whatever. :smallamused:

also yeah this is where I realized that Knight of Stars wasn't star wars and was some anime fighter thing, and Zodi was possibly drawing upon more anime stuff than I thought she would be. Rei is basically your average reckless anime protag when it comes to Knight of the Stars

and of course, Rei realistically experiences some trauma/stress from her recent experience. which I commend Zodi for, its probably not 100% realistic, but its better than most stories I've read personally.

also, some backstory, in this chapter its said ONY used to make weapons! the government ended a civil war 100 years ago. also we see President Yamata, head of ONY manufacturing advertising a computer.

[The Fury]

One would think even a tolerant parent would be concerned about a burn mark near their child, but whatever. :smallamused:

I took this to mean that Aria knows enough about what Rei is that she expects her fire powers to manifest. What that might imply, I can't say at the moment. We'll just see in later chapters, I suppose.

[Lord Raziere]

I took this to mean that Aria knows enough about what Rei is that she expects her fire powers to manifest. What that might imply, I can't say at the moment. We'll just see in later chapters, I suppose.

I'm just saying what my thoughts were at the time. Rei says that her mother was always concerned for safety, but Aria doesn't even frown at finding a burn mark, which could y'know pose a fire threat to her house? but yeah basically I had the same thought.

[The Fury]

It's a new day, and that means a new chapter! Let's dig in and see what's what.

Our chapter begins with a new day at school. Verde asks Rei if she's planning on asking Kestrel out. In her own sardonic way, Verde shows concern for her friend amid making fun of her terrible math notes. This also seems to suggest that Rei is actually a good student when she's able to focus. She's just kind of all over the place right now. Verde also reveals her own hopes for the future-- she wants to be a doctor.

Later in first period, Rei is approached by Kestrel who helps her out with her math notes. He does talk about himself in his usual guarded way... Yet some of his lines are more telling than he probably meant them to be. Rei asks Kestrel he moves around a lot He replies, "Yeah, I do a lot of run-- I mean, yes, my family does move a lot."
While he plays it off like he assumed that Rei was asking about his hobby, training working out. Which he earlier let slip was for an unspecified purpose. I'll put a pin in that for a minute though. In the meantime, Kestrel adds some annotations to Rei's math notes to make them clearer. Rei takes her opportunity to awkwardly ask Kestrel to come to her fighting game tournament. As a <3 daaate! <3 Kestrel responds somewhat stoically, and seems to think that Rei will be going tournament where she actually fights people... Again, I'll come back to that. As for the invitation, Kestrel doesn't say "yes," but as Rei notes, he doesn't say "no" either.

Later Rei is at lunch with Ella and Verde. Verde complains about Kestrel's non-committal answer. Ella for her part says that she would give a more direct "yes" or "no" if she were asked on a date. Rei takes this opportunity to ask Ella on a date, probably more on impulse, since Rei never showed much specific interest in Ella. True to her word though, Ella does provide a clear answer-- "no." Going on to say that she's ace. Later Ella demonstrates that she must also be part border collie, since she catches a sandwich that Verde throws at her with her mouth.

Ella takes the time to read Rei's palm again. While Ella's reading is vague, Rei does note a burning sensation in her hand. The subject of Rei's adventure into the burnt dance club comes up, specifically whether or not she got any good pictures with her phone. She did indeed take pictures, but Rei quickly realizes that she lost her phone, likely it's still inside the dance club.

Rei meets with Kestrel, who rather quickly agrees to go to the burnt club with her. Our chapter ends here, but there's still a bit of material to dig into.

Now, let's talk about Kestrel... I've been suspecting Kestrel of deliberately hiding something for a while now. Now, I feel like I have enough material to actually speculate on what that might be. I'm beginning to think that Kestrel and likely his family are aware of the supernatural. More specifically Kestrel is trained to fight it. While his family is probably rich enough that they wouldn't have to live in a dirty, run-down neighborhood, the mancer's awakening power burning down a dance club, Red Crystal, and Gamma suggest that supernatural occurrences aren't uncommon to this area. Kestrel did say that his family wanted to be closer to their work, right? Also of note, Kestrel is vague and non-committal about going to a video game tournament, yet agrees right away to go to the burnt dance club, possibly because he expects actual fighting to happen.

Ella coming out as ace is rather quick and matter-of-fact and thankfully isn't questioned. Ace people appearing in fiction isn't very common, and I feel like a lot of ace people deal with the "but are you really?" question. Truthfully, I feel like ace people get asked a lot nastier questions which are frankly not something I can or should get into. Rei and Verde are both quick to accept this about their friend and it's great. Be nice to your local ace. That's all I ask.

Next time, come get your Cursed World fix, because it'll be time for Chapter Six!

[Lord Raziere]

Interesting thoughts on Kestrel. I personally was less certain waffling back and forth on whether or not he was hiding something or was just a very athletics and martial arts focused introvert, because its not as if someone who spends a lot of time on exercise and being fit would care much for videogames, especially if he is like me and doesn't really care for going to anything that doesn't concern my interests.

meanwhile Ella is ace. nice to see. also keeps this from becoming romantically complicated. Verde and Ella quite deftly eliminate themselves from any romance with Rei while remaining friends her early on, thus clearly establishing their role and relationship to her: they are her friends. not her love interests. and that? is perfectly fine.

and yes, Ella is established as a foil for Kestrel early on. right off the bat, while both are exchange students, Ella answers directly and is up front about who she is and where she is from, as well being direct about date-ability, but being afraid of getting into danger. while Kestrel is closed off and non-committal, and not afraid of getting a near a fight or danger at all.

as for chapter six....I'll have more things to talk about for certain. cause that is when it starts getting real interesting.

[The Fury]

Interesting thoughts on Kestrel. I personally was less certain waffling back and forth on whether or not he was hiding something or was just a very athletics and martial arts focused introvert, because its not as if someone who spends a lot of time on exercise and being fit would care much for videogames, especially if he is like me and doesn't really care for going to anything that doesn't concern my interests.

meanwhile Ella is ace. nice to see. also keeps this from becoming romantically complicated. Verde and Ella quite deftly eliminate themselves from any romance with Rei while remaining friends her early on, thus clearly establishing their role and relationship to her: they are her friends. not her love interests. and that? is perfectly fine.

and yes, Ella is established as a foil for Kestrel early on. right off the bat, while both are exchange students, Ella answers directly and is up front about who she is and where she is from, as well being direct about date-ability, but being afraid of getting into danger. while Kestrel is closed off and non-committal, and not afraid of getting a near a fight or danger at all.

as for chapter six....I'll have more things to talk about for certain. cause that is when it starts getting real interesting.


Since the topic of romance has come up, I guess it's time to discuss shipping!

Generally speaking, I'm not much of a fan of shipping. I don't engage with it much myself, though I find the practice itself weirdly intriguing. In the case of Rei's relationship with Verde and Ella... yeah, it's not likely to ever take a romantic turn. That said, there's a real value and emotional satisfaction that comes from having good friends which I feel is underrepresented in fiction. Looking at Verde in specific, it's clear that she does not have romantic feelings for Rei. Does she care about Rei though? Does she worry about Rei's well-being? Yes, absolutely. What's more, I believe these feelings are returned by Rei. Ella's still pretty new to the friend group, but as direct and forthcoming as she is, she might develop a similar platonic bond that Verde and Rei share.

To sum up, as much as media fans hype romance, platonic bonds are awesome.

I wasn't really paying attention to the fact that Kestrel and Ella are deliberate foils for one another, but I suppose it's true. This is true in another way as well-- Kestrel is willing to get into fights, but doesn't make himself available socially. Ella doesn't want to fight but socially is very available. Ironically this usually means that when Verde and Rei encounter trouble, they got Ella with them, but Kestrel is nowhere to be found.

[DataNinja]

Ironically this usually means that when Verde and Rei encounter trouble, they got Ella with them, but Kestrel is nowhere to be found.

I mean... that's just good character development moments. Where's the fun in throwing people at stuff that doesn't put them out of their comfort zone? :smalltongue:

(Okay, fair, it can be nicer to let people show off, but... it doesn't tend to make them grow. Use in moderation. :smallbiggrin:)

[LaZodiac]

Since we're at the part where Ella says she's ace I'm going to share a thought another person shared with me.

I forget the specific way she phrased it but basically; Ella wearing this shirt. (https://images.lookhuman.com/render/standard/6326202430008005/3600-charity_pink-3x-t-why-frick-frack-when-you-can-snick-snack.jpg)

[The Fury]

I mean... that's just good character development moments. Where's the fun in throwing people at stuff that doesn't put them out of their comfort zone? :smalltongue:

(Okay, fair, it can be nicer to let people show off, but... it doesn't tend to make them grow. Use in moderation. :smallbiggrin:)

This ends up saying a bit about Ella as a character as well. Ella might not do well in dangerous situations, she might be uncomfortable with them but she'll follow her friends into them. Say what you will about Ella, but she's not a coward.


Since we're at the part where Ella says she's ace I'm going to share a thought another person shared with me.

I forget the specific way she phrased it but basically; Ella wearing this shirt. (https://images.lookhuman.com/render/standard/6326202430008005/3600-charity_pink-3x-t-why-frick-frack-when-you-can-snick-snack.jpg)

Ella does seem to love snacks.

[LaZodiac]

I'm not gonna point them out yet obviously but I want all of you to know I'm definitely saving some of what you say For Later, For Fun.

God this is exciting for me. I hope everyone else is enjoying.

[The Fury]

Another day, another chapter! This time things get rough!

Our chapter opens with Rei waiting outside the burnt club, wondering where Kestrel is and momentarily daydreaming about him rescuing her from unspecified threat. Until three teenage boys about her age discussing something snap her out of her reverie. As it happens, these three ruffians are planning on breaking into the dance club to steal anything valuable that might have survived the fire. Rei's having none of that, especially since she doesn't seem to think that an encounter between these three and Gamma would go well. Her go-to is to threaten to call the cops-- which y'know, not a bad plan. Except again, the only reason she's at the dance club in the first place is to retrieve her phone. The ruffians call her bluff and attack her. Rei makes an effort to escape, but is caught and the ruffians threaten to mug her. Rei for her part, assumes a fighting stance, (she had mentioned previously that she'd taken boxing classes,) and prepares to defend herself.

Rei exchanges a few blows with one of theses randos, around this time Kestrel chooses to show up wielding a length of metal pipe. Now, if you've ever seen a fist fight or been involved in one, it's not as fun or exciting as action films might lead you to believe. The brawl between Rei and Kestrel against the three ruffians is purposefully ugly. There's the sickening feeling of cartilage cracking, blocking strikes still hurts, punches that connect still hurt your hands, and dizziness from Rei getting hit in the face. Of our two protagonists, Rei seems to get the worst of it while our would-be muggers get bludgeoned with the pipe, but are able to escape. Kestrel is for the most part unscathed. It's worth noting that while Rei is understandably kind of disturbed by what happened, Kestrel is not. He even comments that he thought that he'd have to fight all three on his own.

Rei However is still nursing her crush on Kestrel and seems more worried that he might think she's weird or something.

Eventually Rei makes it home, banged-up, with a black eye and a tissue jammed up her nose. For a loving parent like Aria... this is something of a shock. The two hug it out and Rei comes clean about what happened. Mostly. Rei does admit how she got into a fight, that she was there to meet Kestrel, and that she lost her phone. She still leaves out the fact that she went into the burnt out dance club, Gamma and Red Crystal. Aria is fairly understanding but still puts her foot down. Rei is no longer allowed to play games after school, but she's still allowed to go to her tournament. Rei is also given an 8:00 curfew. Despite this, Aria still pretty clearly feels a sense of parental pride since Rei apparently won her fight.

Being as how Rei is not allowed to play games, she spends her time before bed doing searches on the internet. Attempts at learning more about Gamma and Red Crystal turn up nothing, but searching for "mancer"...She comes across a site which looks dubious at first, seemingly hosting photos made to look like magic was happening. Even giggling to herself that she and Verde used to make images like this when they were thirteen... At least until one image of a woman seemingly controlling tree branches to defend herself from a Red Crystal creature. At this point, it seems like mancers are in fact real, and Rei concludes that she herself is a pyromancer.

Closing thoughts-- I've been giving Kestrel a bit of side-eye for a while now, and the way violence is depicted here only makes him seem more suspect to me. Kestrel seems to be a martial arts enthusiast, so it shouldn't come as a surprise that he likes fighting. taken a step further, it seems like he enjoys violence. Not just the controlled competitive sports atmosphere that you get practicing martial arts. Not only that, Rei and the three ruffians that she fights don't go for weapons, he does. He also seems eerily calm about what Rei seems to consider a pretty horrible experience. Whether Kestrel is a vicious thug or a misunderstood bad boy remains to be seen, but we'll get there.

I also got to give props for verisimilitude here. hitting something with your fist is usually pretty unpleasant, especially when you consider that hands are made of relatively small bones and are comparatively delicate. I've mentioned before that I have a metal plate in my right hand from when I fractured a metacarpal. Rei notes that her hands still hurt after her fight, and that's some good attention to detail. Hopefully she doesn't need a metal plate later on.

Next time is Chapter Seven... Something something... eleven? Sorry, I'm tired.

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah, the combat in this is intentionally visceral and portrayed without embellishments. really makes it clear what kind of world this is, and that despite Rei's fighting capabilities and magic she isn't even an action hero. it really feels as Rei could die and she gets hurt despite winning. it only further distances it from looking like a harry potter thing, and at the same time I can't really file this under something more like Dresden Files because I'm pretty it still does some combat embellishments to make it more actiony despite its down to earth urban fantasy style? hm.

Yeah, Aria good parent, both concerned and proud that her child won a fight with criminals.

of course I just have to remark: where does Kestrel get the pipe, I wonder? he must be like shirou emiya, throwing himself into danger to save others with pipes he finds to help repair stuff. :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

Yeah, the combat in this is intentionally visceral and portrayed without embellishments. really makes it clear what kind of world this is, and that despite Rei's fighting capabilities and magic she isn't even an action hero. it really feels as Rei could die and she gets hurt despite winning. it only further distances it from looking like a harry potter thing, and at the same time I can't really file this under something more like Dresden Files because I'm pretty it still does some combat embellishments to make it more actiony despite its down to earth urban fantasy style? hm.

Yeah, Aria good parent, both concerned and proud that her child won a fight with criminals.

of course I just have to remark: where does Kestrel get the pipe, I wonder? he must be like shirou emiya, throwing himself into danger to save others with pipes he finds to help repair stuff. :smalltongue:


I would assume that Kestrel probably found the pipe just lying around. The neighborhood is pretty run down and it doesn't seem far-fetched that there might be a discarded length of pipe sitting in an alley somewhere.

[Lord Raziere]

I would assume that Kestrel probably found the pipe just lying around. The neighborhood is pretty run down and it doesn't seem far-fetched that there might be a discarded length of pipe sitting in an alley somewhere.


A reasonable conclusion to be sure. :smallamused: Can't argue with that logic!

[The Fury]

Just a minor aside, it's been great discussing this book with all of you. Now let's dig into chapter seven.

Our chapter opens with Rei having breakfast and still recovering from her fight as Aria treats her bruises. More importantly today is the day of the tournament and Rei wants to look cool. So she asks Aria if they have any "cool jackets" and rummages through the coat closet to find one. As much as I'd like to report that Rei found a denim trucker jacket with some gnarly fades and tiger on the back, she mostly comes up empty handed. Mostly. While she's not able to find a suitable jacket, she finds a mask. One that covers the entire face, seems padded, and has heavy straps, suggesting that it's some kind of protective gear. It's featureless, except for a cartoon skull painted on the front. While Aria plays it off pretty casually, Rei seems to think Aria might be hiding something. Indeed, Aria's explanation, that it was sort of a joke gift to her from her late husband, seems odd-- from how the mask is described it doesn't sound like something that could be easily purchased at a local costume store. Aria allows Rei to try the mask on though, since it is pretty cool. Rei immediately notices a few things-- despite having no eyeholes, the mask is fairly easy to see out of. Secondly, this mask has not been worn in a while. Third... the inside smells like blood. Unfortunately for now, Aria doesn't seem to be in a mood for answering questions and takes her mask back. So it's off to the tournament for Rei.

Rei makes her way to the game store/arcade where the tournament is being held, a place called "Neon City." Which, honestly... cool name. I'd feel a little cooler just saying that I'm going somewhere called "Neon City," y'know? Like, "Hey The Fury! Haven't seen you in a minute. What's going on?"
"Not much. Just headin' over to Neon City. As I do."
Anyway, Rei meets Verde and Ella in front of Neon City who have shown up to cheer their friend on, they even brought a video camera to preserve this moment for posterity. As the girls are getting ready for the tournament, they're surprised at one of the participants-- Chloe, the mean girl from earlier. What's sort of odd is that Chloe is not dressed how she would be normally, even wearing sunglasses, suggesting that she might be making an effort to not be recognized. Rei and the others naturally want to know what the heck, so confront her. For her part Chloe is playing up her typical mean girl shtick and is a total brat. Going so far as to get under Rei's skin about Kestrel. Rei momentarily considers trying to set Chloe on fire with her pyromancy.
Still, Chloe's presence raises some questions, since as Rei and probably Verde note, Chloe never seemed interested in video games at all. Those questions will have to wait though, since Chloe suggests a wager with Rei. If Rei wins, she'll get to know what Chloe's damn problem is and Chloe will leaver her alone. If Chloe wins Rei will hand out with her exclusively for a week. Which seems like an odd request from what's basically a schoolyard bully, but Rei assumes that Chloe wants her to be her servant for a week.

Both Chloe and Rei make it to the final match and are paired against one another. As it happens, Chloe is surprisingly good at this. It's a detail that I glossed over previously but these two girls had been friends before, and it's apparently through their friendship that Chloe picked up her video game skills. As the two get ready for their match, Rei recalls a moment she had with Chloe. The two of them playing games together five years ago. Laughing, having fun. Unfortunately, the outcome of the match will have to wait until the next chapter.

So for some final thoughts, this seems like the best opportunity to discuss Chloe. While she was introduced pretty early on, there seemed little to talk about with regards to her. Compared to mysterious men lurking in abandoned buildings, Rei's fledgling pyromancy and other craziness, a typical high school mean girl seemed more annoying than actually threatening. Now there's actual questions to ask about her here. Why would she even be interested in showing up Rei at a video game tournament? It wouldn't do anything for her social standing at school. If anything, her dressing differently and putting on sunglasses seems to suggest that it might hurt her reputation. It just seems really unlikely that she would want this victory over Rei to just lord over her. If Chloe does want Rei to be her servant for a week, as Rei believes, she certainly phrased her request in a weird way. When asked what she wants from Rei she says this, "...when I win, I want you. You hang out with me, and only me, for a week."
Rather than a servant, I think that Chloe, while too proud to admit it, greatly misses the friendship that she had with Rei and is trying a scheme to get it back or otherwise rekindle it. If this is true... Aw, Chloe... Maybe talk it out next time, yeah?

In the meantime, Aria the loving single mother seems to be hiding something. What is it?We'll just have to wait and see.

Next time is Chapter Eight. I'll try to not be late!

[Lord Raziere]

hehehehhehehhaahahahaa....

Around Chapter 7 or 8 is when I started shipping ChloexRei. Screw Kestral, he is too perfect to be real. Boo Kestral, he should die for my ship, he is totally a Death Eater booo.

I can't explain why since most of evidence for my reasoning isn't actually reveled until the next chapter, thought it was going to be this chapter, but whatevs. but I can note that Rei is noted to have a particularly aggressive and fast fighting style, basically she plays rushdown, and does it really well, well enough to get this far in a fighting game tournament, speaking a lot about her reflexes and how much time she spends on this to get it right. Chloe isn't even surprised by Rei getting there, suggesting she knows Rei enough that she'd get this far. a lot of chapter reminds me of watching people play Dragonball FighterZ.

[LaZodiac]

Aah, chapter 7. An interesting shift of things~

Seeing all of you go over this scene and theorizing what the situation is is really enjoyable! It's neat to see what gets seen by whom, what gets picked up and what goes by unnoticed. I had an admonishment about who starts the bet here earlier but OOPS I was wrong please drag me, Zodi, the author, for being unable to remember her whole story 100%.

I've always considered Knight of the Stars to be a more Guilty Gear style game, especially because DBFZ wasn't out yet when I was writing it. That's a good comparison though.

[The Fury]

hehehehhehehhaahahahaa....

Around Chapter 7 or 8 is when I started shipping ChloexRei. Screw Kestral, he is too perfect to be real. Boo Kestral, he should die for my ship, he is totally a Death Eater booo.

I can't explain why since most of evidence for my reasoning isn't actually reveled until the next chapter, thought it was going to be this chapter, but whatevs. but I can note that Rei is noted to have a particularly aggressive and fast fighting style, basically she plays rushdown, and does it really well, well enough to get this far in a fighting game tournament, speaking a lot about her reflexes and how much time she spends on this to get it right. Chloe isn't even surprised by Rei getting there, suggesting she knows Rei enough that she'd get this far. a lot of chapter reminds me of watching people play Dragonball FighterZ.


I've not made it much of a secret that i'm not sure how trustworthy Kestrel is as a character. As such, I'm not super on board with the Kestrel/Rei ship anyway.

A Chloe/Rei ship though? Uhh... As of right now, I don't know a whole lot about Chloe. She seems more forthcoming than Kestrel, but that isn't saying much. That said, while we know that she was friends with Rei before, it's not clear what happened to break their friendship apart. Whatever it is, I suspect that Chloe regrets it. Whether Chloe just wants her friend back or if she wants something... less platonic from Rei remains to be seen. Though she did say to Rei, "I want you."

Now, let's dig into Chapter Eight!

The final match of the tournament between Chloe and Rei is an intense one. While Rei favors a knight character with an aggressive attack style, Chloe prefers a mage character that focuses more on strategy and defense. Things soon heat up during the final round. Literally. Rei accidently uses her pyromancy to melt her controller. Fortunately the judges assume that the controller's battery pack had overheated. Even though this seems like an odd way for a battery pack to fail, which seems more plausible? A faulty battery overheating so badly that a controller melted, or that this girl can generate intense heat with her hands? Anyway, a break is called until a suitable replacement controller can be found and the round can be reset. This is enough to get Chloe to lose her flow and Rei beats her pretty handily.
While bitter, Chloe is mostly a good sport about losing. As for her end of the bet... she did promise to let Rei know "what [her] problem is." Unfortunately that'll have to wait since she says that she doesn't want to talk about it here. Chloe then puts her shades back on and quietly slips out, appearing rather sad. Rei is given her prize-- a one hundred dollar coupon for the game store.

Verde and Ella meet Rei and congratulate her on her win. Rei then comes clean about her fight with the ruffians outside the dance club. This gets Ella somewhat frantic, and Rei's comment that she's hardly injured does little to reassure her. While Rei does say that Kestrel came to her rescue, she does wisely and deliberately omit the detail of Kestrel with a bloody length of pipe. For her part, Verde thinks that Kestrel should have seen Rei home. I guess Verde has Kestrel pegged for a clueless dolt. Ella remains upset that Rei would do something so reckless. After reassuring her friends that she won't do anything like that again, Rei excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Then runs off to Gold Row, the sketchy neighborhood with the burnt dance club.

Oh, Rei... This time, she doesn't play around and goes straight into the club and starts calling for Gamma. Gamma largely hasn't moved, but is recovering from his injuries. Rei is finally able to recover her phone, that's the good news. The bad news is that it's badly damaged and completely unusable. Rei, takes it largely in stride but begins to ramble about life to Gamma. To his credit, Gamma doesn't seem to mind. It's possible that he might just be grateful to have someone to talk to. Rei goes on about what's been happening, how her life has been turned upside down. Her crush on Kestrel, her fight, her tournament and Chloe... I wanted to take a moment with Chloe, since I had some comments about her earlier. As mentioned, Chloe and Rei's friendship fell apart. We don't really know what happened between them, Rei herself doesn't really know either. While this doesn't seem like much, it does imply that their falling out was not mutual.

Rei also takes the opportunity to ask Gamma about mancers, specifically if she's one is he one too? While Gamma is fine with listening, he's not much for sharing information. Claiming that Rei is not a mancer, and that pain dulled had dulled his senses, making him mistake her for one. As to whether or not Gamma is a mancer... that's a resounding "none of your business." Gamma does mention that there is another mancer out there-- his enemy.

Rei protests that she thinks that she is a mancer, she has been reading up and her weirder experiences do seem to line up with being a pyromancer. Unfortunately the two are interrupted by Verde and Ella climbing in through the window. Gamma responds to the intrusion by conjuring clawed hands out of shadow! Holy smokes! He must be a mancer, right?

For her part, Rei leaps into action. Putting herself between the shadow hands and her friends, she manifests fire around her right hand. Actual. Fire. This would be the first time that it's not just accidental puffs, sparks or melting a video game controller. If Rei isn't a pyromancer I don't know what is!

[Lord Raziere]

My reasoning for the Chloe/Rei ship is Chloe knew enough about Rei to specifically practice the fighter to counter her even though they hadn't been on positive terms for five years, that isn't normal, as well drop everything to specifically compete to the point of facing her, is so such an anime rival love thing I don't see how could be anything else.

like its specific how Chloe has the exact fighter to counter Rei, and has apparently been practicing it enough to keep up with Rei since they were 12 despite not being friends for five years. she'd have to know that Rei wouldn't pick another main, as well as how to play an arguably harder character to master than a rushdown character, because a tricky traps and zoner type of fighter requires you to do more than rush in and just attack a lot. like how much has Chloe been keeping up with Rei's life to know this and be so good at her counter? sure the games online so its probably that, but still it implies some level of following along.

As for Kestrel, yeah he keeps striking all the clueless male love interest flags and its just somewhere between uninteresting and annoying, also Rei's attraction to him feels very shallow. because it is: she doesn't know a thing about him she's just crushing.

as for plausibility....well, people normally assume magic isn't real in modern times. so they naturally assume that a girl can't generate heat from their hands, because clearly most girls cannot. so once the impossible is eliminated, whatever is remaining no matter how implausible and improbable must be true. rather than magic being real, which would have a lot of implications about physics and how it would change our models of the world.

speaking of which, Gamma manipulates shadows. looking at this phenomenon alone would generate the implication that shadows are real actual things that can be manipulated towards various ends, and not just the absence of light. it means you have to rethink what matter, physicality and realness are from the ground up, and if the state of shadows something that Gamma turns on and off to be real/not real, that generates even more implications that there is some function capable of turning absences of light into real matter manipulable by one's mind which means a 0 = 1 as we currently understand it, and that what we thought was a zero, isn't a zero anymore, but a different kind of 1, like matter and energy. Rei's magic at least is just an implausible manipulation of heat.

[LaZodiac]

I forgot to say it, but a conversation springing up about the metaphysics about how some of the magic and mancies of my setting is... the exact sort of thing I want to see.

[Lord Raziere]

I forgot to say it, but a conversation springing up about the metaphysics about how some of the magic and mancies of my setting is... the exact sort of thing I want to see.


Do you want me to ask rater202 to read this so that he and I can have a long-winded metaphysics conversation about it? :smalltongue: I guarantee once you get me and him going we can have long metaphysical discussions about anything, we do so with Naruto metaphysics sometimes. it will work to generate such a discussion, as long as you can bear him inevitably wanting to try and game the system so he can combine all the mancies into one transhuman being and/or become god. :smallamused:

failing that, I will talk about the metaphysics as it goes along and things come up. I just haven't already because while I'm pretty sure the basic explanation is coming soon so I can open up on that and really start going, out of respect to this being Fury's thread and their rules about it.

but I can theorize the shadow magic, because thats shown and known and its more interesting than the fire. because fire is heat and is a known property of our universe, very well known to the point where if a hyper-advanced sci-fi civilization made tech so you can do pyromancy with just your hands, I'd find it believable to a degree.

but shadows on the other hand isn't something you can manipulate into solid matter no matter how much nanobot/femtobot handwaves you use. its existence solidly changes the very nature of physical reality as we know it. it means on some level, shadows are real, that darkness is a physical thing, and therefore outside the realm of even soft-sci-fi in my mind. therefore what does it mean if shadows are real? well shadows are just little patches of darkness, and darkness is on every planet in the universe in some manner, because there is always the night side. so it depends on whether Gamma can manipulate darkness at night, because if he can do that:

1. that implies darkness in general is some force or matter undifferentiated from shadow that spontaneously generates whenever light is not around, always coming back the instant there is no light. meaning the fantasy darkness is just as fast as light at least at coming into existence but is incredibly fragile to being hit by photons specifically at some quantum level or something. that these "umbrons" simply can't exist when light specifically observes it. however one wonders if vacuums truly exist in such physics if both light and darkness are wave-particles that fill everything up one way or another.

thus meaning if there is no such thing as a vacuum, how does space work? these umbrons would fill up everything that isn't light or matter. and unfortunately, wave-particles aren't...truly massless. they have a very small amount of mass, but they still exist, they're not quarks and would add up. thus an umbron would have effects on physics as we know it, the effects could be anything from vacuums not existing and outer space instead being like the luminiferous ether, or it being more like the dark matter theories scientists throw around in modern times. we don't know, because this stuff isn't figured out even by big brain scientists I don't even come close to in my education.

2. the other possibility is, if Gamma like some other shadow users in fiction can only manipulate shadows with an explicit light source to come from like the sun or a lightbulb, and can't use his power in complete darkness because that somehow doesn't count, then that implies its more about one's mind and what someone THINKS is a shadow, because shade of a tree, a shadow, and night aren't really different in any way, they're all darkness and an absence of light, so I suspect such limitations are more to make sure the person doesn't become a god at night. and that mancies are more about what people think is this or that than a real thing. that they can only manipulate the archetypal idea of what a shadow as defined by the collective human consciousness with the rest of the world works as normal, thus the shadow manipulation being more limited than it would be otherwise and the magic being more about specific reality warping thing conjuring fantasy solid shadows from nothing than something wider.

3. the third possibility is that the scientists are completely wrong, the universe isn't material and is just a bunch of ideas. and that Gamma just somehow can tap into the idea of shadows to do stuff because all the world is one big shared dream, with one big dreamer defining the universal rules of everything to make everything look like our own reality. with everything potentially running on hindu/gnostic mythology/mage the awakening rules, thus the biggest dreamer is evil thus seek enlightenment, thus reach heaven through violence, kill god, thus make better dream where no suffering exists. :smalltongue:

there might be other possibilities. but those are the three I can honestly think of right now.

[LaZodiac]

Those are all actually VERY fascinating ideas, and while I won't comment on them directly I will note that I've had very good reactions to what you've written.

As for your question; absolutely get more people to read my book what are you even talking about. The answer to that question is always yes.

I imagine Fury will post the shift into Chapter 9 tomorrow, but there's no rush :smallsmile:

[Rater202]

So yes, this looks really interesting. I'm on a limited book budget but depending on how this goes I'm definitely considering picking it up.

Luckily, I don't much mind spoilers.
I'm actually going to bring this up because it is amusing to me specifically; Knights of the Stars is not a Star Wars reference, it is a Saint Seiya (or, in english, Knights of the Zodiac) reference. LEO FANTASY! SAINT SEIYA~ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu533OKYHyc). Suffice to say, this will get elaborated on later to be made clearer, so I don't fault you for thinking that. It's interesting a read~

also, happy birthday Raziere! I hope you have a good one, and I hope the book serves you well.
Ah, my first Shonene anime that wasn't Dragon Ball. Also, the first time I ever heard the song "I Ran" becuase for some reason it was easier to have Bowling For Soup sing someone else's song than to translate the lyrics of Pegasus Fantasy into english.

Another day, another chapter! This time things get rough!

Rei is no longer allowed to play games after school, but she's still allowed to go to her tournament.
This is weird to me. Unless the tounrment is literally the next day(is it?), this means that the punishment is taking away the chance to practice for the Tounrmenet.

Either Aria doesn't understand how videogames work("Flash back to being told to turn off my game and go to bed, telling them that I can't turn it off until I get to a save point and that'll take a little bit becuase I'm in the middle of a boss fight, and then two minute later I'm getting yelled at for still playing the game ensue") or its a malicious attempt to make Rei lose the tournament as the real punishment.

Or the Tourmenet is the next day. I don't know from that information.

Do you want me to ask rater202 to read this so that he and I can have a long-winded metaphysics conversation about it? :smalltongue: I guarantee once you get me and him going we can have long metaphysical discussions about anything, we do so with Naruto metaphysics sometimes. it will work to generate such a discussion, as long as you can bear him inevitably wanting to try and game the system so he can combine all the mancies into one transhuman being and/or become god.

Oh come on, I'm not that bad. I'd merely try to achieve immortality. Or find a way to eat monsters to gain their power.

More seriously, I'm not sure if I'll be able to pick the book up so unless it gets a really in-depth TVtropes pages, chances are I won't be much good in terms of metaphysics discussion.

[LaZodiac]

So yes, this looks really interesting. I'm on a limited book budget but depending on how this goes I'm definitely considering picking it up.

Luckily, I don't much mind spoilers.
Ah, my first Shonene anime that wasn't Dragon Ball. Also, the first time I ever heard the song "I Ran" becuase for some reason it was easier to have Bowling For Soup sing someone else's song than to translate the lyrics of Pegasus Fantasy into english.

This is weird to me. Unless the tounrment is literally the next day(is it?), this means that the punishment is taking away the chance to practice for the Tounrmenet.

Either Aria doesn't understand how videogames work("Flash back to being told to turn off my game and go to bed, telling them that I can't turn it off until I get to a save point and that'll take a little bit becuase I'm in the middle of a boss fight, and then two minute later I'm getting yelled at for still playing the game ensue") or its a malicious attempt to make Rei lose the tournament as the real punishment.

Or the Tourmenet is the next day. I don't know from that information.


Oh come on, I'm not that bad. I'd merely try to achieve immortality. Or find a way to eat monsters to gain their power.

More seriously, I'm not sure if I'll be able to pick the book up so unless it gets a really in-depth TVtropes pages, chances are I won't be much good in terms of metaphysics discussion.

Well, if you do pick it up I hope you enjoy. I feel like it'll be worth the budget :smalltongue:. And while Fury's summeries are very good and very insightful and quite well written, they don't quite do it 100% justice.


Yeah it was the next day coming. Like I said above =p

[Mith]

Do you want me to ask rater202 to read this so that he and I can have a long-winded metaphysics conversation about it? :smalltongue: I guarantee once you get me and him going we can have long metaphysical discussions about anything, we do so with Naruto metaphysics sometimes. it will work to generate such a discussion, as long as you can bear him inevitably wanting to try and game the system so he can combine all the mancies into one transhuman being and/or become god. :smallamused:

failing that, I will talk about the metaphysics as it goes along and things come up. I just haven't already because while I'm pretty sure the basic explanation is coming soon so I can open up on that and really start going, out of respect to this being Fury's thread and their rules about it.

but I can theorize the shadow magic, because thats shown and known and its more interesting than the fire. because fire is heat and is a known property of our universe, very well known to the point where if a hyper-advanced sci-fi civilization made tech so you can do pyromancy with just your hands, I'd find it believable to a degree.

but shadows on the other hand isn't something you can manipulate into solid matter no matter how much nanobot/femtobot handwaves you use. its existence solidly changes the very nature of physical reality as we know it. it means on some level, shadows are real, that darkness is a physical thing, and therefore outside the realm of even soft-sci-fi in my mind. therefore what does it mean if shadows are real? well shadows are just little patches of darkness, and darkness is on every planet in the universe in some manner, because there is always the night side. so it depends on whether Gamma can manipulate darkness at night, because if he can do that:

1. that implies darkness in general is some force or matter undifferentiated from shadow that spontaneously generates whenever light is not around, always coming back the instant there is no light. meaning the fantasy darkness is just as fast as light at least at coming into existence but is incredibly fragile to being hit by photons specifically at some quantum level or something. that these "umbrons" simply can't exist when light specifically observes it. however one wonders if vacuums truly exist in such physics if both light and darkness are wave-particles that fill everything up one way or another.

thus meaning if there is no such thing as a vacuum, how does space work? these umbrons would fill up everything that isn't light or matter. and unfortunately, wave-particles aren't...truly massless. they have a very small amount of mass, but they still exist, they're not quarks and would add up. thus an umbron would have effects on physics as we know it, the effects could be anything from vacuums not existing and outer space instead being like the luminiferous ether, or it being more like the dark matter theories scientists throw around in modern times. we don't know, because this stuff isn't figured out even by big brain scientists I don't even come close to in my education.

2. the other possibility is, if Gamma like some other shadow users in fiction can only manipulate shadows with an explicit light source to come from like the sun or a lightbulb, and can't use his power in complete darkness because that somehow doesn't count, then that implies its more about one's mind and what someone THINKS is a shadow, because shade of a tree, a shadow, and night aren't really different in any way, they're all darkness and an absence of light, so I suspect such limitations are more to make sure the person doesn't become a god at night. and that mancies are more about what people think is this or that than a real thing. that they can only manipulate the archetypal idea of what a shadow as defined by the collective human consciousness with the rest of the world works as normal, thus the shadow manipulation being more limited than it would be otherwise and the magic being more about specific reality warping thing conjuring fantasy solid shadows from nothing than something wider.

3. the third possibility is that the scientists are completely wrong, the universe isn't material and is just a bunch of ideas. and that Gamma just somehow can tap into the idea of shadows to do stuff because all the world is one big shared dream, with one big dreamer defining the universal rules of everything to make everything look like our own reality. with everything potentially running on hindu/gnostic mythology/mage the awakening rules, thus the biggest dreamer is evil thus seek enlightenment, thus reach heaven through violence, kill god, thus make better dream where no suffering exists. :smalltongue:

there might be other possibilities. but those are the three I can honestly think of right now.


If we go by darkness being a physical substance that exists, but is not equal to light (since you don't have complete nullification), what if there exists a third "neutral" luminous particle (penumbrons is the only name I got right now) that could pair well with either protons or umbrons. However, Gamma can only generate and manipulate umbrons, so his shadows dissipate when he isn't driving them. Natural light sources release essentially light "isotopes" that contain a certain amount of penumbrons, so that they can break up Gamma's shadows easily. A light mancer would basically boil down to an effort of stamina. Fire arguably can be better, as one can use natural sources as a base to be more efficient (burn stamina to shape/accelerate a fire, but rely on fuel).


Further musing on the "neutral light particle", could that be the end result of entropy? As in even after everything decays down into electromagnetic waves, these waves then react with various levels of umbrons and result in the super stable penumbrons? This would require more thoughts on naming conventions that I would have to muse on for a bit.

EDIT: Some musings (and food) later...

So to expand on trying to fit umbrons into a model (that will likely be picked apart easily).

Think of the matter-verse (where we have light, heat , and energy forming matter) where shadows would be formed as the absence of light, cold as the absence of heat etc. vacuum as the absence of matter. We then have the opposite (umbrons being an opposite of heat and ling electro magnetic radiation and dark matter as the opposite of matter).

Fun fact: This means that Gamma can wield shadow lasers.

Picture the total amount of dark matter as a tub of water. The creation of the known universe (as in all matter) is akin to taking a sponge, compacting in as small as possible, then placing it in the tub. The expansion of the sponge draws in water, akin to the expansion of this universe means that umbrons and dark matter gets drawn into the universe. Annihilation, instead of just releasing energy in this case, releases umbrons and photons. Over time photons and umbrons interacting will cancel each other out (think of destructive wave interference). The created entrons are just a third particle that serves as additional matter that serves a barrier that slows down complete Annihilation of the universe. If we think if the sponge in a tub of water, Annihilation would mean that the sponge would dissolve over time. The formation of a neutral particle is like the sponge forming a protective coating that would slow down the reaction. The end result would be that everything would be composed of an entron structure.

What this paints in my head is a something akin to the old theory of crystal spheres, as the greatest concentration of entrons would be at the barrier between the universe and outside dark matter (the surface of the sponge and the water).

To finish this ramble, what if the presence of matter or anti matter on a collection of entrons forces a slight gradient where the opposite (anti matter to matter, matter to antimatter) is generated on the opposite side of the entron cluster. I am basically basing this on how electrons move in the presence of a charged body. So a large cluster of entrons surrounded by antimatter would generate matter in it's center which would push out. Viola, the Big Bang!

I hope these musing are not too disorienting for anyone else to follow. I look forward to what else people come up with in trying to fit shadow magic in.

[The Fury]

Well, if you do pick it up I hope you enjoy. I feel like it'll be worth the budget :smalltongue:. And while Fury's summeries are very good and very insightful and quite well written, they don't quite do it 100% justice.

Well, no. Of course not. Even the best of recaps aren't quite the same as reading the original text. I'll admit that I gloss over certain details for the sake of brevity as well. So... sorry?

Also, Rater-- glad to have you here.

Chapter 9 is coming. I'm taking a little bit of a mental health break though. Not being quite myself, I worry that if I try to type up a recap now, it won't be up to par. And for that I'm sorry.

[LaZodiac]

No need to apologize, for EITHER point. You're doing a fantastic job of this, I wouldn't change it for the world. If you need your rest, rest, it is important!

Incidentally all this talk o metaphysical umbrons made me realize something rather silly; why again did I not call it Umbramancy?

[DataNinja]

Incidentally all this talk o metaphysical umbrons made me realize something rather silly; why again did I not call it Umbramancy?

I think we were too distracted by trying to decide between Hydromancy and Aquamancy. :smalltongue:

More seriously, I feel like Umbra speaks more towards the absence of something - in this case light, while Shadows feel more like they're addressing the subject more. Umbramancy feels like a subset of light, while Shadowmancy is... well, direct of what the magic is. I know that they mean essentially the same thing, (well, shadows can also be a penumbra, too,) but, to me, an Umbramancer would be using magic to remove light, not to control shadow. If that makes any sense. It does in my head, at least.

Tldr: Umbra brings to mind more the object casting the shadow (especially because it's often used most casually in an eclipse scenario), more than the shadow itself.

[Rater202]

Sciomancy, from the Greek Skia(Shadow) is a form of divination based on shadow interpretation... Though it can also be used as a synonym for Necromancy(divination done by communicating ghosts or other spirits of the dead.)

Sciomancy is sometimes referred to as "Shadowmancy."

Umbromancy meanwhile tends to refer to divination using shade rather than shadow, which is a subtle distinction.

The Browser RPG ?AdventureQuest uses "Tenebramancer" for Wizards who specialize in Elemental Darkness, which is manipulating darkness into physical shape which might apply better in case of darkness in general rather than shadows, but I'm pretty sure they're the only people who use that term becuase I don't get crap when I google the term.

[Lord Raziere]

No need to apologize, for EITHER point. You're doing a fantastic job of this, I wouldn't change it for the world. If you need your rest, rest, it is important!

Incidentally all this talk o metaphysical umbrons made me realize something rather silly; why again did I not call it Umbramancy?


Because most people don't know the word umbra? :smalltongue:

and "collective archetypal idea of shadow" theory is still possible unless the author- YOU- confirm or deny it, not REALLY being a manipulation of darkness but a manipulation of what people think what a shadow specifically is, and not what they think darkness in general is. so it could be a manipulation of the shadows cast by people specifically and not general darkness encompassing night and dark spaces and whatnot that some people don't count as shadows.

@ Mith:
That sounds interesting and like you know more about the science about it than me, so.....I'm not sure if I can say anything about it very well? But if Umbrons/ Penumbrons and Entrons led to the universe being cyclical in its Bang's, it would make some stuff work, I guess?

but thats the sensible stuff, for a wackier theory, maybe Gamma is descended from people with Shadow DNA because his ancestors fell in love with people from a world made of shadows, so his magic in fact opening up invisible portals through shadows to manipulate magical shadows to to do stuff with. would also explain Rei: maybe her dad was a being literally made of magical fire. it would explain why she doesn't have a father: her dad was fire, he had to go back to fire world.

[DataNinja]

The Browser RPG ?AdventureQuest uses "Tenebramancer" for Wizards who specialize in Elemental Darkness, which is manipulating darkness into physical shape which might apply better in case of darkness in general rather than shadows, but I'm pretty sure they're the only people who use that term becuase I don't get crap when I google the term.

To be fair... a word derived from 'tenebrous' - which has obscure as one of its definitions - only being used in one out-of-the-way place feels... apt. :smalltongue:

[LaZodiac]

Because most people don't know the word umbra? :smalltongue:

and "collective archetypal idea of shadow" theory is still possible unless the author- YOU- confirm or deny it, not REALLY being a manipulation of darkness but a manipulation of what people think what a shadow specifically is, and not what they think darkness in general is. so it could be a manipulation of the shadows cast by people specifically and not general darkness encompassing night and dark spaces and whatnot that some people don't count as shadows.

@ Mith:
That sounds interesting and like you know more about the science about it than me, so.....I'm not sure if I can say anything about it very well? But if Umbrons/ Penumbrons and Entrons led to the universe being cyclical in its Bang's, it would make some stuff work, I guess?

but thats the sensible stuff, for a wackier theory, maybe Gamma is descended from people with Shadow DNA because his ancestors fell in love with people from a world made of shadows, so his magic in fact opening up invisible portals through shadows to manipulate magical shadows to to do stuff with. would also explain Rei: maybe her dad was a being literally made of magical fire. it would explain why she doesn't have a father: her dad was fire, he had to go back to fire world.


I think upcoming chapters actually answer some of your questions with regard to how Gamma's shadowmancy works. I'll hold off on saying anything concrete, Word of God style, because I think it's better that way at the moment.

Not confirming or denying anything, but I will note you've seen at least A in universe photo of him, in chapter like one.

[DataNinja]

Not confirming or denying anything, but I will note you've seen at least A in universe photo of him, in chapter like one.

Supposedly him, at least. Because hero/ines having family not be who they thought never happens. :smallwink:

[Lord Raziere]

I think upcoming chapters actually answer some of your questions with regard to how Gamma's shadowmancy works. I'll hold off on saying anything concrete, Word of God style, because I think it's better that way at the moment.

Not confirming or denying anything, but I will note you've seen at least A in universe photo of him, in chapter like one.


Honestly I should probably be rereading the book more, instead of going off memory.

Yeah you don't want a repeat of what happened with your lets play of custom robo with me accidentally guessing the plot with my TFS-ripoff humor. :smalltongue:

[Rater202]

Supposedly him, at least. Because hero/ines having family not be who they thought never happens. :smallwink:

Pyromancer Villain: "Your mother never told you what happened to your father."
Rei: "She told me enough! She told me you killed him!"
Pyromancer Villain: "No. I am your father."

...I apologize if I guess the plot twist in the process of making a joke about that kind of plot twist.

[LaZodiac]

Regarding any and all speculations I'm going to wait until the very end of the book to say basically anything on them.

I highly encourage you do theorizing and stuff though, I love to see it. I do enjoy foreshadowing, and secretly seeing people find the foreshadowing fills me with an unending glee.

[Mith]

Because most people don't know the word umbra? :smalltongue:

and "collective archetypal idea of shadow" theory is still possible unless the author- YOU- confirm or deny it, not REALLY being a manipulation of darkness but a manipulation of what people think what a shadow specifically is, and not what they think darkness in general is. so it could be a manipulation of the shadows cast by people specifically and not general darkness encompassing night and dark spaces and whatnot that some people don't count as shadows.

@ Mith:
That sounds interesting and like you know more about the science about it than me, so.....I'm not sure if I can say anything about it very well? But if Umbrons/ Penumbrons and Entrons led to the universe being cyclical in its Bang's, it would make some stuff work, I guess?

but thats the sensible stuff, for a wackier theory, maybe Gamma is descended from people with Shadow DNA because his ancestors fell in love with people from a world made of shadows, so his magic in fact opening up invisible portals through shadows to manipulate magical shadows to to do stuff with. would also explain Rei: maybe her dad was a being literally made of magical fire. it would explain why she doesn't have a father: her dad was fire, he had to go back to fire world.


The science is really complete nonsense. It just leads to some interesting pseudoscience visuals kinda like this universe marble (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKnpPCQyUec), except it's this cyclical cycling between dark and light. The real fun rabbit hole is the fact that you could never tell if the dark energy/matter it is surrounded by is actually "the rest", or if it is contained in it's own shell of entronic crystal which is inside
a layer of high energy plasma.

Also a fun thought on mancers: we don't know how mancers break down, but it could be that they started out as people with lesser effects (infrared mancers that just controled heat, but would lose control of pure fire) that either inter-breeding with other mancers developed more nuanced abilities that became dominant over time.


Heck we don't know if mancers are human specific.

Legend of the Phoenix: A Pyromaniac Crow!
Kraken: A giant aquamancer octopus!

[DataNinja]

Kraken: A giant aquamancer octopus!

Hydromancer is what I think was decided upon - pyro(mancer) and aero(mancer) are both Greek in origin, so hydro(mancer) fits better in with both the -ro suffix and the theming better than the Latin aqua(mancer). I can't remember if any earth mages are mentioned, but geomancer definitely has different connotations than terramancer, so that might be up in the air. Thanks Final Fantasy. :smalltongue:

[LaZodiac]

As an aside to all you wonderful folk, I went for a walk today and took some pictures of the local flower installations that are now set up. If you want a more physical example of the way Laketown's commercial district is described.

You can see them here: https://lazodiac.tumblr.com/post/622384527379136512/lazodiac-flowers-from-my-walk-2020-%C2%BD-flowers

[The Fury]

Sorry about needing to step away for a bit. Looks like discussion about metaphysics and the implications of mancers' abilities really took off though! Anyway, it's time for Chapter Nine

Our chapter opens where we last left off, Gamma using shadow powers to attack Verde and Ella, while Rei uses pyromancy to produce fire in order to defend her friends.

...Or so it would seem. Gamma says that intense emotions can awaken a mancer's powers, and doing something like this seemed like it would work. After all, he "sensed something" in Rei and had to know if she was a mancer or not. Mm-hm. Rei is understandably angry with this plan and punches Gamma in the guts. Gamma, being a skinny kid still recovering from some injuries, drops. The awkwardness of the situation only gets worse when Rei realizes that while she can activate her fire, she still doesn't know how to put it away. Obviously, it won't do to for Rei to go around with her right hand on fire. So our heroes patch up Gamma so he can tell Rei how to get her powers back under control.

All this seems a lot for Ella. who's shuddering, stammering and obviously unhappy about Rei promising to not do anything reckless and, then coming back to a place like the burnt dance club. And to meet someone like Gamma. Verde meanwhile is trying to convince herself that it's all a bad dream. In the process of trying to calm her friends down, the fire on Rei's hand subsides... Well, that's one problem dealt with. Now to explain what's going on to a shaken up Ella and Verde, and do something about Gamma over there, passed out on the floor.

Rei... has a somewhat dubious grasp of what's going on and doesn't even have a firm understanding of what she is. She does her best to explain. The whole fire hand thing? That's definitely from her. She is a pyromancer after all! She snaps her fingers a few times to try and get something to happen. A little like messing with a broken cigarette lighter. Only something does happen-- the campfire that our heroes have made in the middle of the floor flares up causing a bit of a scare.

Verde tries her best to make sense of the situation. Ella's palm-reading, Rei's fire and Gamma's shadows, is real magic? Gamma clarifies, his ability is "shadowmancy, not magic." Oh, good. You're awake. Though it is confirmed that mancies and magic are not quite the same thing. Mancies are an inborn talent of sorts. Does this mean that Ella's palm-reading is magic? From where we're sitting, no. Probably not. It's suggested that Ella is just very good at reading people, and this is something demonstrably true about the character from her early appearance in the cafeteria back in Chapter One.

Further speculation from the characters will have to wait though, since Gamma is suddenly doubled-over in pain. What's going on? Is he more seriously hurt than previously thought? Did Rei's punch open something up that wasn't noticed? ...Nah, he just hasn't eaten. Thankfully, Verde brought lunch-- a bag from a chain sandwich shop called "Smile's Subs," which is marked with a creepy grinning sandwich-face mascot... This sandwich chain is objectively amazing and I wish that it were real.
Gamma wolfs down the sandwiches meant for Rei and Ella, and makes some odd remarks-- evidently this is his first time eating anything. As in first time eating anything ever. Verde wonders whether that means Gamma is entirely human. Gamma for his part, chimes in with another odd remark, that he's human and they'd know if he wasn't. To clarify, in this setting evidently there are people that aren't human people. Gamma demonstrates by making some shadow puppets. There are beastmen, demons, and of course, plain ol' humans. Gamma's shadow puppets depict a woman with vaguely canine ears and a tail, while the demon he shows is a hulking lizard-beetle-humanoid thing. Interestingly, both wear lab coats. Both beastmen and demons are something forgotten by history and are now regarded as creatures of myth and exist in hiding. Demons can apparently shapeshift into a more human appearance, beastmen rely on magic glamours. What Gamma does emphasize though, is that they're just people.

Our chapter ends with the girls leaving Gamma and Rei promising to bring him more food, at least enough to last him a while. Gamma reflects on this, noting that it's good to have people that he can trust. Yet he expects danger, he hopes that he can push them away before things get bad.

For our closing thoughts, there's a lot more to look at with Gamma in this chapter. His concern that there's something after him doesn't seem unfounded since Red Crystal was after him when he was first found by Rei. His remarks that he's never eaten food before, his distaste for going to a hospital and his depicting his shadow puppets wearing lab coats create a vague sketch of the past that he's escaping. Not only has he spent most of his life in hospitals and/or labs, but it seems like he's been in places like that for so long that he doesn't have any memories of not being in one. So much so that he seems to think that lab coats are just what ordinary people wear. For all we know, maybe he's been in places like that for his entire life.

The only other things I can say about Gamma are speculation. Such as why was he there? It's implied that he was experimented on, but by whom and why? I've considered that ONY is aware of the supernatural and is interested in fighting it, and that Kestrel might be involved in this. It might be that ONY was prodding at Gamma to better understand his shadowmancy in order to develop countermeasures to it.

Come again for Chapter Ten.

[Rater202]

Okay, I am going to say that "Mancy" is a weird term to use for things that are defined as separate from magic in-setting. No offense, Zodi.

And yeah. "Scary constructs in lab coats" is a huge red flag. Rei should probably avoid hospitals and laboratories for a while, at least until she gets more information.

[DataNinja]

Okay, I am going to say that "Mancy" is a weird term to use for things that are defined as separate from magic in-setting. No offense, Zodi.

Believe me when I say that it took a lot of hammering out to get things in a way that wasn't completely confusing when both those terms were involved. :smalltongue:

[Mith]

Okay, I am going to say that "Mancy" is a weird term to use for things that are defined as separate from magic in-setting. No offense, Zodi.

And yeah. "Scary constructs in lab coats" is a huge red flag. Rei should probably avoid hospitals and laboratories for a while, at least until she gets more information.

-mancy seems to be a suffix for divination via specific means. And divination is the idea of gaining knowledge from the divine through specific means. "Magic" ends up being the base root of the more general practise. So one could argue that Mancers are those that are born with a very specific tool set that they can apply while Magi (wizards) are those that build their own tools.

I could see the distinction arising simply because one is completely inborn, while the other could be taught. We see something like steel as "unnatural" even though it arises from the understanding of manipulations of completely natural processes.

My question is if mancers are the natural version of "magic users" compared to the practise of wizardry, how did the first wizard arise?

I was about to write a crackpot theory about magic, but I think that needs to wait a few chapters.

[Lord Raziere]

Now things are starting to open up.

and yeah, there is a distinction between magic and mancy. I forgot that there is apparently Faunus Beastmen and freaking demons according to Gamma. also shapeshifting and glamours exist in this setting.

I could tell you guys what the practical difference is between mancy and magic, but that is probably spoilers

and yeah, this is when Gamma's backstory starts becoming obvious: he isn't exactly home raised. he knows mystical things, but not basic stuff.

[LaZodiac]

Okay, I am going to say that "Mancy" is a weird term to use for things that are defined as separate from magic in-setting. No offense, Zodi.

And yeah. "Scary constructs in lab coats" is a huge red flag. Rei should probably avoid hospitals and laboratories for a while, at least until she gets more information.

It takes a bit to elucidate on what the structural differences are and why it matters that there is a difference, but for now consider it like a Sorcerer/Wizard dichotomy. That's not fully accurate, but it works as a good shorthand. Both are magical but whereas magic is regimented and studied, mancies are a natural part of you that grows as you do. As said the book goes into it in more detail later. If this is just a minor complaint about the name- there's really no other way I could get it across.

Also, if anyone is curious; the dog woman Gamma shows off is a corgi.

[The Fury]

Now things are starting to open up.

and yeah, there is a distinction between magic and mancy. I forgot that there is apparently Faunus Beastmen and freaking demons according to Gamma. also shapeshifting and glamours exist in this setting.

I could tell you guys what the practical difference is between mancy and magic, but that is probably spoilers

and yeah, this is when Gamma's backstory starts becoming obvious: he isn't exactly home raised. he knows mystical things, but not basic stuff.


This is where Beastmen are confirmed, though one of the articles Rei read mentions a woman in a purple coat with a cat tail. So they're at least foreshadowed early on.

[LaZodiac]

This is where Beastmen are confirmed, though one of the articles Rei read mentions a woman in a purple coat with a cat tail. So they're at least foreshadowed early on.

Hehe, I was wondering if people would notice that on re-reads/reflection. I love leaving little things like this around the place.

[Rater202]

1: Are their photomancers(Lumenomancers?)

2: Would their powers include being able to make their hands glow with an awsome power?

I am so sorry. I do not really have more to comment on than I have already said.

[Mith]

Hehe, I was wondering if people would notice that on re-reads/reflection. I love leaving little things like this around the place.

I had missed it, and I have read through the book 3-4 times by now.

[LaZodiac]

1: Are their photomancers(Lumenomancers?)

2: Would their powers include being able to make their hands glow with an awsome power?

I am so sorry. I do not really have more to comment on than I have already said.

You're not obligated to comment every time, don't worry about it.

It'd be Luxmancy, if there was one. And absolutely yes.

[Lord Raziere]

Hehe, I was wondering if people would notice that on re-reads/reflection. I love leaving little things like this around the place.

Oh trust me, I'm getting a lot of that going back and rereading this. there is a certain paragraph of a certain conversation that looks innocent at first glance but takes on a whole new meaning when you realize what its really about that I want to talk about, but haven't gotten to the point where I can.

[The Fury]

Whew. Who knew doing a daily write-up for book chapters would be so tricky? I sort of got caught up in actually reading ahead. But anyway, we're not here for my excuses! We're here to dig into Chapter 10, so let's go!

But first, a quick aside, since a lot of folks seem to be interested in the way the supernatural works in this setting.

I wonder if all mancers have weirdly appropriate appearances? Rei is described as having bright red hair, and she's a pyromancer. Gamma has pitch-black hair, light blue eyes and the skin of someone that's never seen sunlight, and he's a shadowmancer.

Our chapter begins with Rei, Verde and Ella leaving the burnt dance club, recovering from the unrealness of the situation they now find themselves in. For Rei's part, she's kind of wiped out. As the three eat lunch go to unwind at Neon City, she's so unfocused that Ella is able to beat her at the Knights of the Stars arcade version. It turns out, Chloe is still on Rei's mind. Specifically that Chloe wasn't quite herself, and maybe mercilessly crushing her in the final round was something wrong. Which... I believe that Rei might still hold onto some feelings for her former friend that she doesn't understand fully. Like I've speculated earlier, I don't think either Chloe or Rei is happy about how their friendship ended. For now though, it's time for Ella to do something cute.

Ella talks to Rei by doing a silly voice for a fluffy plush moth that I guess she got as an arcade prize. We also get the first mention of Ella's last name-- it's Umbra. Get it? Ella's iconic item is her umbrella. So "Ella Umbra"-- "Umbra, Ella"-- "Umbrella?" ...Well, I think it's funny.

Anyway, Ella offers to read Rei's palm, and presumably Chloe's too to do a "love fortune" for the two of them. Rei protests that she isn't in love with Chloe. Ella has a unique perspective on this though. After all, other kinds of love exist. Which is actually an example of why I'm a little hesitant to assume that the feelings, which appear to be somewhat mutual, between Rei and Chloe are necessarily romantic. Maybe the two girls do love each other, it's clear that they're thinking about one another. It might be romantic, but it might not be. In any case, both Verde and Ella encourage Rei to make up with Chloe. For now, Rei heads home as it's getting close to sunset.

At home, Aria is a typical loving and supportive parent. She does send Rei to her room though... Because she got her an early birthday present and that's where it is. Rei seems to assume that it would be the skull mask that she found earlier. It isn't though, it's a journal. This one also comes with a heartfelt note-- Evidently Aria had one too, and wrote down her most cherished memories of meeting her late husband and being Rei's mother. Aria keeping a journal was a blessing, since she can hold onto those memories forever now and hopes that Rei will be able to do it too.

We cut to Chloe sulking outside, near Gold Row, having a smoke. Thinking about what Rei had said to her-- "Tell me what your damn problem is," "Leave me the hell alone." Apparently Rei's words had cut her kind of deep. As for the nature of their falling out... Chloe doesn't seem to fully understand either. In any case she's emotionally distraught enough that her hands are shaking... Doesn't Chloe have friends that she can talk to about this? Well, she does get some texts from her friend group, which come off as kind of vapid. Chloe doesn't get into what she's actually been up to and even lies to her friends. It's pretty clear why she doesn't. What interests she does share with her friends, in this case singing, seems to hold little interest to them.

Chloe does reply in the group chat that she just might make a move on Kestrel, which her friends approve of. Chloe herself doesn't really care that much, evidently trying to get between Kestrel and Rei wasn't even her idea. All of this gives a clearer picture of who Chloe is as a person-- the version of her that showed up to the video game tournament? The version that made a bid to reconnect with an old friend? That's closer to who she really is. The spoiled, vapid mean girl version? That's just someone she's pretending to be.

Speaking of putting the moves on Kestrel, guess who shows up? Yep. It is Kestrel's neighborhood after all, and here he is. True to her word, she does come on a little flirty. Offering to let Kestrel walk her home. Kestrel doesn't seem interested at first, but recognizes her and asks if she's friends with Rei... Wow... that's got to be an awkward question. But Chloe notes that it feels good to say that Rei, in fact is a friend. She even admits that Rei is her best friend, which I can believe since her other friends sound terrible. She even let's Kestrel know that sometimes Rei likes to go to Smile's Subs. (I know I would too.) As Kestrel asks more about Rei, it turns out that Chloe has a lot of kind words to say about her. Even though the idea of Rei and Kestrel dating makes her feel ill.

For his part, Kestrel closes this conversation with something vaguely ominous, "...I can see what you're doing. I'm not oblivious. You and those other harpies want me for something. My eyes are on Rei, and Rei alone. I don't even know who you are."

Now, I've been kind of hard on Kestrel as a character. At times I think of him as brutal and inconsiderate. When I'm feeling more charitable, I think of him as a sort of shy, clueless dolt. This interaction with Chloe seems to throw doubt on the latter interpretation. From this, I gather that he is aware that Rei has feelings for him, he is aware that attending her game tournament would have made her happy. Taken a little further, he's evidently interested in Rei, just not in what she thinks or feels. What's his interest in her? No doubt we'll find out in a later chapter.

Thank heaven, next is Chapter Eleven!

[DataNinja]

Whew. Who knew doing a daily write-up for book chapters would be so tricky? I sort of got caught up in actually reading ahead.
...reading way ahead of what they were supposed to, especially for English Class? Now, who would ever do such a heinous misdeed? >.>

[The Fury]

...reading way ahead of what they were supposed to, especially for English Class? Now, who would ever do such a heinous misdeed? >.>

Fun fact-- I actually did do that in English class. I got in trouble for it too... You'd think I'd learned my lesson. I did not.

[LaZodiac]

Some fun things I can say about Chapter 10!

Seeing how people react to seeing Chloe's side of things is one of my favorite parts of her arc in book 1. It's just fun to see, especially if the person starts VERY anti-Chloe, and then hits the tournament and starts suspecting something might be up, and then slams face first into this scene.

The texts are inspired by my sister and her former friend group. Take that as you will.

Heather calling Chloe a trashbag is a sort of in-joke of sorts. One of my earlier beta-readers felt, while she had a decent arc, Chloe was still kind of an awful person in earlier drafts, and called her a trashbag. While writing the Chloe scene as seen here to replace a different, unnecessary scene, working on showing Chloe's depth and why she thinks the way she does, I figured it'd be cute to include that little reference, since making a scene like this was inspired by said beta-reader. It's a good indicator of how deep in Chloe is into this situation, and is a cute reference to boot!

It's also really really sad, if I do say so myself. Poor Chloe...

On a more positive note; Ella went to go play skee-ball, an arcade game, and when we next see her she's with a big plush moth. Turns out she's quite good at skee-ball!

[Rater202]

Fun fact-- I actually did do that in English class. I got in trouble for it too... You'd think I'd learned my lesson. I did not.

I did it so often that I got yelled at for it the one time I didn't.

The story we were set to read in middle school was about something bad happening on someone's birthday. We were asked for examples of what the worst thing that could happen on your birthday was before we read it. I was going to share an anecdote about the time a classmate in elementary school almost got expelled on his birthday becuase an old backpack with his name on it was found in one of the hallways and it was full of empty beer bottles(I have no idea what the full story was) and got as saying "one time in school a teacher found an old—" Before I was yelled at and forced to leave the room so I didn't spoiler and called a liar when I protested that I hadn't read ahead this time and eventually broke down crying. I never received an apology.

Turns out the story was about a teacher finding an old, itchy sweater that nobody claimed and the teacher insisted that it must have belonged to the PoV character who was lying about it not being hers and forced her to put it on and yelled a her and made her cry... And then another student stops spacing out and realizes that the sweater is hers. PoV does not get an apology.

Nobody in my class got the irony. Not even the teacher.

I'm gonna be honest, my only thoughts are that Cloe shouldn't be smoking(But cigarettes killed my dad so I'm biased) and that Kestral is obviously gonna turn out to be a villain.

Like, ominous is right.

[Lord Raziere]

On Chloe:

“She’s a darling. Oh, but you didn’t hear it from me,” Chloe said, momentarily forgetting herself. “She’s cute, and funny, and smart. And so nice, too. She’d never so much as hurt a fly.”
-McHugh, Aya. Initial Sparks (Cursed World Book 1) . Amazon. Kindle Edition.
This line made me only hope for the ChloexRei ship even more. this is textbook in love compliment talk. Mostly because I'm pretty sure Rei would totally angrily and recklessly swat a fly out of the sky if it came with her range. :smalltongue:

On Kestral:
What are you guys talking about? Zodi is clearly just subverting the usual male love interest unawareness trope to show that men aren't all dumb idiots who can't see when someone is coming onto them. But boooo this means he ha a chance, he is clearly a death eater anyways standing in the way of ChloexRei!

[DataNinja]

On a more positive note; Ella went to go play skee-ball, an arcade game, and when we next see her she's with a big plush moth. Turns out she's quite good at skee-ball!

...man, now I want a big plush moth. Thanks for putting these random cravings in my head, Zodi. :smalltongue:

[Mystic Muse]

Coming back for a moment from my self-imposed exile to say how happy I am that people are enjoying LaZodiac's book.

For everyone who finishes the book and likes it, please give it a positive review on Amazon. Somebody review-bombed it, and I obviously don't want people driven off because of someone with some sort of vendetta against new authors.

[The Fury]

I did it so often that I got yelled at for it the one time I didn't.

The story we were set to read in middle school was about something bad happening on someone's birthday. We were asked for examples of what the worst thing that could happen on your birthday was before we read it. I was going to share an anecdote about the time a classmate in elementary school almost got expelled on his birthday becuase an old backpack with his name on it was found in one of the hallways and it was full of empty beer bottles(I have no idea what the full story was) and got as saying "one time in school a teacher found an old—" Before I was yelled at and forced to leave the room so I didn't spoiler and called a liar when I protested that I hadn't read ahead this time and eventually broke down crying. I never received an apology.

Turns out the story was about a teacher finding an old, itchy sweater that nobody claimed and the teacher insisted that it must have belonged to the PoV character who was lying about it not being hers and forced her to put it on and yelled a her and made her cry... And then another student stops spacing out and realizes that the sweater is hers. PoV does not get an apology.

Nobody in my class got the irony. Not even the teacher.

Nah. Nobody knows what irony is in a grade-school English class. Though I would be interested in knowing how beer bottles got into a kid's backpack.


I'm gonna be honest, my only thoughts are that Cloe shouldn't be smoking(But cigarettes killed my dad so I'm biased) and that Kestral is obviously gonna turn out to be a villain.

Like, ominous is right.

As a former smoker, I agree. Chloe should not be smoking. (Sorry to hear about your dad, by the way.) I'm not sure if Kestrel is going to be a straight up villain, but his dialogue here does make him come off as a good deal less sympathetic and a little bit more threatening.



On Kestral:
What are you guys talking about? Zodi is clearly just subverting the usual male love interest unawareness trope to show that men aren't all dumb idiots who can't see when someone is coming onto them. But boooo this means he ha a chance, he is clearly a death eater anyways standing in the way of ChloexRei!


Sure. Though if Kestrel were shy or clueless that might excuse a lot of his previous behavior. His interaction with Chloe seems to suggest that he's neither. He's assertive enough to tell Chloe off, and insightful enough to notice that Rei's crushing on him. Hopefully Rei will catch on to this.

This does serve to make the Chloe/Rei ship look better in comparison. Like a lot better. Chloe at least seems to like Rei for who she is as a person. Kestrel though... he doesn't know anything about Rei's personality and doesn't seem to care to.


Coming back for a moment from my self-imposed exile to say how happy I am that people are enjoying LaZodiac's book.

For everyone who finishes the book and likes it, please give it a positive review on Amazon. Somebody review-bombed it, and I obviously don't want people driven off because of someone with some sort of vendetta against new authors.

I'm actually really glad that you're here. Please feel free to join the discussion at any time. If you want to of course. No pressure or anything.

As for the review... I'm aware of it. The review itself generally sucks and seems to suggest that the writer didn't engage with the material honestly, if at all. I'll make an effort to add my own review, though I think I should wait until I've finished the book. Especially since Zodi loves her some planting and payoff, I feel like any insights I can offer would be incomplete at this point.

[LaZodiac]

I did it so often that I got yelled at for it the one time I didn't.

The story we were set to read in middle school was about something bad happening on someone's birthday. We were asked for examples of what the worst thing that could happen on your birthday was before we read it. I was going to share an anecdote about the time a classmate in elementary school almost got expelled on his birthday becuase an old backpack with his name on it was found in one of the hallways and it was full of empty beer bottles(I have no idea what the full story was) and got as saying "one time in school a teacher found an old—" Before I was yelled at and forced to leave the room so I didn't spoiler and called a liar when I protested that I hadn't read ahead this time and eventually broke down crying. I never received an apology.

Turns out the story was about a teacher finding an old, itchy sweater that nobody claimed and the teacher insisted that it must have belonged to the PoV character who was lying about it not being hers and forced her to put it on and yelled a her and made her cry... And then another student stops spacing out and realizes that the sweater is hers. PoV does not get an apology.

Nobody in my class got the irony. Not even the teacher.

I'm gonna be honest, my only thoughts are that Cloe shouldn't be smoking(But cigarettes killed my dad so I'm biased) and that Kestral is obviously gonna turn out to be a villain.

Like, ominous is right.

Forgot to respond to the actual bulk of this; wow **** your teachers that is awful.


Nah. Nobody knows what irony is in a grade-school English class. Though I would be interested in knowing how beer bottles got into a kid's backpack.

As a former smoker, I agree. Chloe should not be smoking. (Sorry to hear about your dad, by the way.) I'm not sure if Kestrel is going to be a straight up villain, but his dialogue here does make him come off as a good deal less sympathetic and a little bit more threatening.

Sure. Though if Kestrel were shy or clueless that might excuse a lot of his previous behavior. His interaction with Chloe seems to suggest that he's neither. He's assertive enough to tell Chloe off, and insightful enough to notice that Rei's crushing on him. Hopefully Rei will catch on to this.

This does serve to make the Chloe/Rei ship look better in comparison. Like a lot better. Chloe at least seems to like Rei for who she is as a person. Kestrel though... he doesn't know anything about Rei's personality and doesn't seem to care to.

I'm actually really glad that you're here. Please feel free to join the discussion at any time. If you want to of course. No pressure or anything.

As for the review... I'm aware of it. The review itself generally sucks and seems to suggest that the writer didn't engage with the material honestly, if at all. I'll make an effort to add my own review, though I think I should wait until I've finished the book. Especially since Zodi loves her some planting and payoff, I feel like any insights I can offer would be incomplete at this point.

Chloe should not be smoking for a variety of reasons.

Also yeah, best to wait until you're done the book. I wanna see it all unfold before me~

[Rater202]

Forgot to respond to the actual bulk of this; wow **** your teachers that is awful.

Yeah. School was pretty much hell until around the end of high school. College was much better. If there is a hypocrisy in the school system, I've been on the receiving end of it.

Coincidentally*, my Highschool had a thing where the teachers would put flags outside their classrooms to show what school or schools they got their credentials from. All of the ones who weren't asshats and actually knew what the hell they were doing instead of just regurgitating the text book and punishing you if you knew something was wrong or outdated** came from my Alma Mater. I'd been planning to go there since childhood becuase it's where all of the college-going relatives on my mother's side had gone but seeing that the caring teachers all learned from there at some point clinched it.

*I don't actually think it's a coincidence.
**Marconi's patent on the Radio was overturned in the 1930s becuase of it being proven that Tesla invented it first and had a pre-existing patent on it. Guess who didn't get credit for his invention when someone else did in my high school history texts.

But yeah, Kestral pumping Chloe for information on Rei and and then making an ominous statement like that...

Coupled with the hints that he's some kind of monster hunter?

Methinks he's hunting witches mancers and Rei is in his sights.

[The Fury]

But yeah, Kestral pumping Chloe for information on Rei and and then making an ominous statement like that...

Coupled with the hints that he's some kind of monster hunter?

Methinks he's hunting witches mancers and Rei is in his sights.

I'm leaning towards that as well. There's other interpretations that make Kestrel look... not great, but less dangerous? I mean, being very interested in a person, just not in who they are... is in any case, kind of a red flag.

But hey... know what time it is? Time to read Chapter Eleven!

Our Chapter opens with Rei having made a decision-- She's going to ask Gamma to train her. Makes sense. Gamma seems to have a firm grasp on his powers while Rei... her powers seem a bit flaky at the moment. For now, it's time to meet up with Verde and Ella. Who as Rei notes are rarely apart... The two mostly laugh it off as they both live close together so meeting up is easy, and the two do so often.

Not to go down too deep a rabbit hole as far as shippy stuff is concerned, but it's been confirmed in text that Verde isn't into girls and Ella is ace. However, what sort of romantic leanings Ella has are more implicit rather than explicit. As for Verde... I don't think her sexual or romantic preferences are made clear beyond "not into girls." It's not certain that she likes boys either. So I guess the Ella/Verde ship is built, but doesn't seem seaworthy if you get my meaning. The two seem to have developed a close platonic bond though, which I do love.

The trio head off to go shopping for Gamma. Dude needs some supplies especially since it's getting very cold. Ella's also brought some geography textbooks so Gamma can get a better sense of where he is. So it's off to the burnt dance club to see Gamma, which with food and some lighting from candles is starting to look more homey. Rei even suggests getting furniture. Gamma doesn't know what that is. Evidently he grew up in a tube. Now that he's got some canned ravioli, he can cook up a nice meal for himself. Except he'd rather have Smile's Subs again. I guess those were some tasty sandwiches. Rei is at least willing to indulge him and heads out.

At Smile's Subs, Rei meets Kestrel. Because of course she does. Kestrel did find out that she might go there, and he is "interested" in her. Orders are backed up at Smile's so the two have some time to catch up. Rei is cute and awkward and Kestrel... he lets some of his personality show beyond the usual "Training! Jogging! Staying in shape!" As it turns out Smile's Subs does a pretty legit shawarma that reminds him of home. Kestrel's father would sometimes treat his family after a particularly good day. Kestrel's parents often stuck to cheaper food, thinking that it helped with their marketing job, understanding the buying habits of consumers. Kestrel also occasionally sees Rei out with her friends, but doesn't approach them for fear of appearing rude. Which... OK, I've been giving Kestrel the side-eye for a bit. This last point he makes though? It's weirdly relatable.

Speaking of friends, Kestrel takes this chance to ask Rei about hers. He already knows about how she met Ella, he was there after all. But Verde? How did Rei meet her? Rei was in a pretty bad spot five years ago, not really able to recall why. Verde transferred to Rei's school around that time. Verde approached Rei during recess, hugged her and asked if she was OK. They've been friends ever since. While Rei might not recall what she was feeling to put her in such a bad spot, I have a thought-- five years ago was when Rei and Chloe had their falling out. Whether Verde showing up was before or after this happened isn't clear at this point, but whatever was going on was probably related.

Kestrel also takes this opportunity to say "yes" to a date with Rei. The day before her birthday, and he's invited to that too! For now, Rei can't agree to the day before her birthday for reasons she can't get into. Probably Gamma-related reasons. In any case, she has his number and is all set to see him on her birthday! Woo! Now to be clear, I'm not sure what Kestrel's planning. His conversation with Chloe seems to imply that his intentions with Rei are... not wholesome. Rei, of course has little reason to be suspicious of him and leaves with her sandwiches and a spring in her step.

Back at the burnt dance club, Rei shares her excitement over having a date for her birthday. We get a little more of Gamma's oddly sheltered upbringing-- he apparently doesn't know what a birthday or a date is, but he does know that a kestrel is a bird of prey. Gamma's knowledge is mostly in biology. Specifically, how to properly tear people apart. Gamma also gets into how magic is done, which is cool, because up until now the text has only said what magic isn't. That is, what Rei and Gamma can do is not magic, and what Ella can do might not even be supernatural. Magic is evidently also real and can be done through ritual and is fueled by stamina. Basically, it's a skill which can be learned. Yeah, I know that Zodi already clarified this but it hasn't actually been made clear in the actual text of the book up until now. Verde for her part is very interested and is furiously scribbling down notes. Rei asked what her interest in magic is, Verde brushes the question off but Rei chooses not to press the matter. For now it's agreed that Verde can help Gamma fill the gaps in his knowledge and in return, he can help Rei get a better handle on her powers. And that is where our chapter ends.

Final thoughts-- while it's deliberately not answered why Verde is interested in magic, I have guess. Rei has her pyromancy, Ella has her fortune-telling, Verde has... a big fluffy green sweater? I think Verde is quietly frustrated that she wants to help her friends but is poorly equipped to do so. If magic is a skill which can be learned, that might change. Do your best, Verde!

Next time we delve into Chapter Twelve!

[Lord Raziere]

See? you don't know, Kestral could be just awkward.

as for Gamma and magic, we have more metaphysics stuff!

now we properly talk about magic, and not just mancies! yes, its done through ritual and cast through stamina, and always done by drawing a circle on anything with anything. basically its like FMA alchemy or naruto fuinjutsu in that respect, and the effects when done improperly are interesting. mancies in contrast are more like a bender or a quirk user: they're born with what they have but still need to train it up.

the metaphysical implication of this magic system however, imply that its not the materials that are important, but the symbol of magical ritual itself that is what matters to casting it. which speaks a lot about the universe, because a physical uncaring universe like our modern physics doesn't care about symbols. symbols only have importance in the minds of people.

so this strongly swings the theories to more ideal/thought based universes over physical ones, or at least both shadowmancy and magic having access to another thought-based realm that its tapping into, but the fact that magic draws upon one's own stamina possibly speaks against this: if another thought based realm with magical reality-warping power is there, why would you need to fuel the spell? it could be possible that the stamina is there to make sure its materialized in the real world at all.

the other possibility is that this universe is thought based and that the rituals are like codes you enter for reality to respond to, implying that reality is like a mind or a computer simulation: depending on your mastery you might even be able to make permanent changes and that the backlash are just glitches or the wrong spell cast.

of course its possible that the rituals known are just one type of code/language possible if that is the case and its possible there are other codes capable of casting magic.

and yeah Verde wanting to learn magic is great.

[Rater202]

See? you don't know, Kestral could be just awkward.

as for Gamma and magic, we have more metaphysics stuff!

now we properly talk about magic, and not just mancies! yes, its done through ritual and cast through stamina, and always done by drawing a circle on anything with anything. basically its like FMA alchemy or naruto fuinjutsu in that respect, and the effects when done improperly are interesting. mancies in contrast are more like a bender or a quirk user: they're born with what they have but still need to train it up.

the metaphysical implication of this magic system however, imply that its not the materials that are important, but the symbol of magical ritual itself that is what matters to casting it. which speaks a lot about the universe, because a physical uncaring universe like our modern physics doesn't care about symbols. symbols only have importance in the minds of people.

so this strongly swings the theories to more ideal/thought based universes over physical ones, or at least both shadowmancy and magic having access to another thought-based realm that its tapping into, but the fact that magic draws upon one's own stamina possibly speaks against this: if another thought based realm with magical reality-warping power is there, why would you need to fuel the spell? it could be possible that the stamina is there to make sure its materialized in the real world at all.

the other possibility is that this universe is thought based and that the rituals are like codes you enter for reality to respond to, implying that reality is like a mind or a computer simulation: depending on your mastery you might even be able to make permanent changes and that the backlash are just glitches or the wrong spell cast.

of course its possible that the rituals known are just one type of code/language possible if that is the case and its possible there are other codes capable of casting magic.

and yeah Verde wanting to learn magic is great.


Naruto Fuinjutsu is a bad comparison. Fuinjutsu includes everything that binds or contains someone or something. Storage Scrolls and Jinchuriki are Fuinjutsu... But so are the chains that Kushina and Karin can project from their bodies. And Juinjutsu, the subset involves controlling people's actions is translated as "curse mark techniques" but doesn't actually require a mark on the body.

There are Jutsu that use written formulas or generate written formulas when preformed, but not all of those are Fuinjutsu and not all Fuinjutsu use written formulas. Summoning techniques, paper bombs, the Flying Thundergod technique, and so on are all techniques that use formulaic seals but that aren't Fuinjutsu.

It's a problem that comes up becuase there are multiple terms in Naruto that are most accurately translated as "seal" but that are presented in different contexts. The written formulas used for summoning and some Fuinjutsu are more an alternative to Hand Seals than a category of Fuinjutsu.

[Mith]

Now my magic theory can be dropped in here

The magic circle contains magic that flows into it and channels it through the contained pattern. However, if there are imperfections to the channeling, it breaks the spellform similar to how any edges on a sheet of metal in a microwave causes sparks/fire. So a perfect circle is necessary to contain all the forces.

It's yet to be seen if there is genuinely a specific symbol set to building these patterns, or if the patterns/notation is self developed.

[The Fury]

Now my magic theory can be dropped in here

The magic circle contains magic that flows into it and channels it through the contained pattern. However, if there are imperfections to the channeling, it breaks the spellform similar to how any edges on a sheet of metal in a microwave causes sparks/fire. So a perfect circle is necessary to contain all the forces.

It's yet to be seen if there is genuinely a specific symbol set to building these patterns, or if the patterns/notation is self developed.


Or maybe it's kind of like an electrical circuit? Build a circuit correctly and it does something useful. Build it wrong and maybe you burn up a fuse or short something.

[LaZodiac]

I was always going to dive more into how magic works in future books, but seeing how genuinely interested people are in the mechanics, I'll definitely take it to heart :smallamused:

[Mith]

I was always going to dive more into how magic works in future books, but seeing how genuinely interested people are in the mechanics, I'll definitely take it to heart :smallamused:

Considering that this forum is based around game system discussions, is it a surprise that the discussion here has a major focus on magic system discussions?

[The Fury]

It's that time... Time for a new chapter!

While being a mancer is something of an inborn talent, actually using it and controlling it requires some practice. As Gamma is showing Rei how to move properly to manipulate her fire. Rei... isn't quite getting it. In fact she's not producing fire at all, not even a tiny spark. This is after four hours of trying. Understandably, she's exhausted from the effort and decides to take a break. Y'know, I once was told that spending longer than two hours trying to learn something complicated without taking a rest period actually makes learning go slower. I wonder if mancies are the same?

Rei is mildly frustrated that her fire only seems to come out when she doesn't want it to. Gamma, for his part seems a bit baffled why his instruction isn't working. Rei has her own fantasies about fighting and being a hero, not having the control to actually use her power is sort of putting her out.

For now though, Verde wonders if the government knows about the supernatural. Rei thinks that if they did, it would probably be more widely talked about. Ella disagrees, thinking that telling people that all myths that they know about are sort of, but not quite true would cause widespread confusion and panic. So that's a resounding... "I don't know."

ONY Manufacturing though? They might know. As is pointed out, they manufacture tech that's basically magic. Normally this is the kind of line that gets me to cringe. Technology works on understood laws and principles of the physical world and the application of those understandings. Though... I guess magic seems to work that way too, so this might not be as inaccurate of a statement as it might seem at first. The name ONY doesn't mean anything to Gamma though, so this is a good chance for Verde to explain what they're all about.

In a war from some time ago, ONY sold advanced weapons to the Felisian government, which allowed them to defeat the combined forces of Exova and Trestaria. Then Felis combined them, along with Kaiga and Dulace into one nation-state. ONY was named a "personification of the Felisian state in the newly formed nation's constitution." This has given ONY vast power and reach in present day. They even have their own standing army, ONY Security Force... This is getting a little dark. Especially when you consider that they have a total monopoly on all manufactured goods and who knows what else. Rei leaves with Verde. Ella needs to head off to the library on her own, she has a book that she needs to pick up.

Rei tells Verde about seeing Kestrel at Smile's Subs. She mentions that she told Kestrel about how she and Verde met. To which Verde responds good-naturedly. Verde explains that she already explained to Gamma what school is, so he knows not to expect them to stop by during class hours. Though Rei says that she shouldn't talk about Gamma so loudly, which allows Verde to offer this gem of a description for Gamma: "...a shirtless, blood-covered, emo-hair weirdo with shadow powers."
Y'know... maybe they should bring him to the mall. I bet he might like a trip to Hot Topic.

Unfortunately, this lighthearted note isn't where the evening ends, Rei comes home to see Aria watching the news, the report is rather grim. In Gold Row, that is where Rei and her friends regularly go to see Gamma, a police officer named Emmanual Grant was fatally stabbed. Rei is understandably worried about Gamma, especially since we already know that someone is after him. She's also worried about Aria, who seems uncharacteristically stone-faced and grim. When Rei asks her if she's alright though, Aria snaps back to her usual warm, loving personality. She gets up and hugs her daughter. Rei quietly recalls Red Crystal, and starts to feel more pressure to master her powers since the world seems so much scarier and dangerous than it did a week ago. Because of the implication that Red Crystal was not the only one of its kind, I'd be inclined to agree. it might even be that a similar puppet was what killed Officer Grant.

At least Rei can switch the subject to a more comfortable discussion. That of her romantic life. Talking about it with her mom. Sarcasm aside, as parents go, Aria's actually pretty cool. Not to say that Rei's not embarrassed, because she is a little. Thankfully it's not screaming into a pillow levels of embarrassment. Rei's got a date with Kestrel, which gets Aria's face to light up and she can't wait to hear about Rei's new boyfriend. It's more than a little premature, but... parents, am I right? Rei takes this chance to turn things around and find out a little more about her dad. When did Aria know that she was in love with Samson?

Eighteen years ago, the law firm they both worked at in Center City had something of an office celebration at a bar. She saw an office assistant challenge him to a game of darts. Samson was a little tipsy, but won ninja Robin Hood style-- four darts between his fingers, four bullseyes. Though it wasn't quite the skill that drew her to him, it was more fire and determination he had in the moment. Having been told all that, it's time for Aria and Rei to have their horror movie night!

Back at her house, Verde is unwinding for the day. Her toolbox, her barely mended space heater and partially finished model kits show that she's the sort of person that needs to keep trying new things to find what she's good at. Verde is carrying around some feelings of inadequacy, in her own mind she's never quite skilled enough, smart enough, or good enough. I feel ya, sister. In Verde's mind, Rei seems more able to coast on talent than she is, and there's some jealousy there. Verde's thoughts are interrupted when there's a knock at the window. Who is it? Why, it's Ella! As it turns out, she has something for Verde-- It's a leatherbound book written in Exovan. Ella found it in the library, see, and it might be magic. Y'know... I really like going to the library and sometimes I find something really good. Magic tomes though? Maybe our local libraries aren't as good as I thought. I guess Ella might know slightly better if the book is magic. Exovan is her native language after all, and Verde kind of understands a little since she tried teaching herself the language.

Flipping to the cover page which has what appears to be a magic circle with an activation word-- "Windzauber," the book glows and generates a soft breeze. Yup. That's a magic tome alright. Verde naturally wonders how Ella found something like this. In fairness, I'm not sure where magic tomes are catalogued in the Dewy Decimal System either. In any case, Verde wants to learn magic and Ella wants to help her learn.

As Gamma has said, and Ella chooses to paraphrase, by poking Verde in the chest and saying "Mancies come from here. You feel it, like a part of your body," then poking her in the forehead, "and magic comes from here. Conceptually, anyway. You think about a cool breeze, about its ebb and flow, how cold it is and how it feels on your skin, and you think about it down to its every like... concept. And what you think up, that mental image, is a pattern. You draw it as a magic circle, and that's the spell."
All Verde has to say about that is, "Don't poke me."

Verde has quietly felt like a failure for a while now, but having this chance to learn how to be a magic user, maybe she can do something good.

Final thoughts on this chapter-- So far, details about Rei's late father have been sparse. Rei herself doesn't know much about the guy. Evidently Aria met him eighteen years ago, Rei is seventeen and has a birthday coming up. It's not difficult math to figure out that Rei never got the chance to know him. Aria doesn't talk about him much either, despite remembering him rather fondly, keeping her wedding photo of him and such. This makes it seem like Samson met a sudden and tragic end that's difficult to discuss. What that was though is likely a story for another time.

Next is Chapter Thirteen, if you know what I mean!

[LaZodiac]

Fun fact; the way I describe ONY's place in the government is a very Canadian thing. Translating it to real world terms, you can see ONY Manufacturing as some sort of corporate royalty.

[Mith]

Fun fact; the way I describe ONY's place in the government is a very Canadian thing. Translating it to real world terms, you can see ONY Manufacturing as some sort of corporate royalty.

Honestly, the other fun thing about this book is all the apparently really Canadian details throughout it that I just accept. I am not saying that I Canadians struggle to see themselves in media that is dominated by America, but I get so excited to see Canadian details in media that I read.

Really, this means I need to start spending more money on Canadian authors (which is very much the plan), but I have limited funds/brain energy for reading to put out there at the moment.

[The Fury]

It's a new day and time for a new Cursed World chapter! Let's dig in!

I feel like before I really get into this chapter, I should get a sort of content warning out of the way. Remember what I said about the fist fight the Rei had with the random street toughs? The one where Kestrel came to her rescue wielding a metal pipe? To recap, it's an indicator of how violence is depicted in this book. It's depicted as hideous. As a horrible thing to happen to someone. That in mind, we'll be seeing a little bit of that today. Cool? Cool.

Our chapter opens with Rei at school, feeling pretty good. She even got through the horror movie she watched with her mother last night without having to look away. Speaking of, is anyone else quietly speculating what these movies are about? The only thing that's 100% confirmed in text is that there are hooks involved. Anyway, today Rei has decided that she'll make up with Chloe, the only trouble is whether or not Chloe will be receptive of the idea. In fairness, what we've seen previously suggests that both Rei and Chloe would both like to patch things up and be friends again. At the very least, even though the reasons for it are vague neither seems happy that their falling out happened. Unfortunately Chloe seems to be making herself scarce.

Verde seems a bit worn out. Maybe from practicing magic with Ella. It is powered by stamina after all. Rei seems to be worried about her friend, but doesn't say anything. Rei justifies this to herself that Verde is much stronger than she is. Kind of ironic, since Verde seems to think that Rei is more capable than her. Ella shows up with an enormous tray of food, brimming over with joy that the cafeteria changes its menu every week. After a while, Verde suggests that Chloe could be at her locker. Rei sets off to try to find her, maybe things will go well and she can bring Chloe back to their table for lunch.

As Rei walks to Chloe's locker, her head is buzzing with various thoughts about not really knowing how to feel about Chloe. She's at her locker though. Sort of spaced out and trying to get the lock to open. Even though Rei wants to make up with Chloe it seems like she doesn't really know how. When Rei asks, "Can we be friends again?" the thing that Chloe seems to focus on is the "again." That is the implication that they are not friends. For Chloe's part she seems actually, genuinely hurt by this.
A more objective lens seems to suggest that Rei is more correct here. That Chloe is kind of stuck up and condescending and treats Rei like she's somehow beneath her. Friends don't and shouldn't treat one another this way. Chloe though... she really wants to believe that Rei is her friend and so has ways of justifying this behavior to herself. After all, this is how her other friends treat her. Rei ends up losing her temper though, and rips into Chloe's excuses. That's when any attempt to make up jumps the rails.

Chloe's friends, the ones that she hangs out with, the ones that have demonstrated to think they're too good for her in the previous groupchat, are awful friends that don't even like her. Rei even points this out. Chloe tried to put the same on Rei, referring to Verde and Ella as "that rat in the sweater," and "that pasty-faced weirdo" respectively, and saying that they're just as bad of friends to her. Rei doesn't buy this, of course, but loses her temper even more. Even grabbing Chloe by the shirt and hoping that she'd burst into flames. Kind of an alarming thought considering Rei is a pyromancer. Chloe responds by hitting her.

Now, this doesn't quite get to be a full on fist fight. Chloe immediately regrets what she's done. The front that Chloe puts up, her excuses, her mean girl persona all crashes down in this moment. Now she's just scared, emotionally distraught. In that moment, she actually believes every unkind thought Rei ever had for her. This is when she decides that she needs a smoke. Pro tip-- smoking in the hallways of a high school rarely goes well.

With trembling hands, Chloe takes out her cigarettes and her lighter. Rei notices something though. Chloe's cheap plastic lighter seems to be damaged by her pyromancy. Now, as demonstrated earlier, pyromancy can make fire behave in ways that it doesn't normally. Such as getting a plastic Bic lighter to behave like... a firebomb.

Chloe's lighter explodes, lighting her on fire. Well, Rei... You wanted to see Chloe lit on fire. Here it is. Take it in. Rei does do her best to get the fire out, tearing off Chloe's burning jacket as the flames spread up her entire right side. Rei can't get it under control as the fire burns off Chloe's skin and hair. It's only the emergency sprinklers that get things under control. Chloe survives, but she gets horrible burns up her right arm and the right side of her face. Rei isn't even sure if Chloe still has her right eye. Chloe had been screaming the entire time, but now all she can do is cry. It's all Rei can do as well.

In the aftermath of Chloe getting covered in third degree burns, the only plausible explanation Rei can give the EMTs is that Chloe tried to light up a smoke, then this happened. Chloe is taken away in an ambulance and school is let out early. Rei can't even speak when she leaves with Verde and Ella.

Have you ever had those moments where you find yourself so distraught that you find yourself in a place that you know, intellectually, that you walked to but don't remember how you got there? Rei had one of those moments as she finds herself in Smile's Subs with Verde and Rei. It's Ella that breaks the silence, asking if Rei is alright. Rei is not alright and doesn't pretend to be. In fact, she blames herself for what happened to Chloe. It's not certain how much of it was her fault, but Rei recalls the moment the lighter exploded. She knew it would happen, she didn't do anything. In fact part of her wanted it to happen. Now she's just stuck with overwhelming feelings of guilt, as well as the knowledge that she needs to get her powers under control to make sure that this never happens again. Rei has Verde call Aria, to say that Rei is hanging out with Verde. In reality, Rei's going to train with Gamma.

Training doesn't go much better than it has. Rei still can't will her fire to come out after three hours of practice. Rei wisely chooses to take a break. Rei, Verde and Ella discuss the stabbing of Officer Grant. Surely it wasn't Gamma that did it, right? ...Right? He didn't, but he's got an idea of who did. It was not a regular stabbing. Gamma had heard the sirens and investigated. He saw the body and noted an eight-inch long red spike sticking out of the guy. Gamma had seen something like that before, it was the work of a ferromancer. That is, a mancer that can control iron and iron-based alloys like steel. This guy can also control the iron in someone's blood, so there's an unnerving thought for the day. This is how Officer Grant met his end. Evidently this ferromancer is the one that's after Gamma. He only wants to capture him, which is the main reason why Gamma is still alive. Our chapter ends with Rei acknowledging that this is just one more reason to get her powers under control. Don't hurt anyone with meaning to, fight the scary ferromancer. (More like scare-o-mancer, am I right? Eh? Eh? ...Oh.)

Closing thought for this chapter-- This one was a doozy. Regardless of how you feel about Chloe, she pretty plainly did not deserve what happened to her. This is actually something that elevates Initial Sparks over similar stories I've read over the years. Rei had a moment where her emotions got the better of her and she did something that she deeply regrets. I've read similar supernatural YA adventure stories that would try to justify their protagonist's actions if they did something similar. Some go the route of making the protagonist's victim seem more heinous, in order to make what happened to them seem deserved. Others go the route of explaining why this wasn't a mistake and our protagonist really was in control. Not so here. Rei just made a horrible mistake and it hurt someone. The only upside is that she's dedicated to making sure that it never happens again.

Up until now, we could only speculate about what was after Gamma. Now we know that it's a mancer of a previously unmentioned type. One that has a fairly ordinary seeming power, just exploited in a creatively gruesome way. Whoever he is, he's also well-supported since he's got those Red Crystal puppets to help him out. For now, we'll come back to it in a later chapter.

Join us next time for Chapter Fourteen, jellybean.

[Lord Raziere]

Ah yes this one.

This with the fire hurting Chloe? thats good storytelling right there. and further shows what kind of world this is: magic is dangerous. violence is dangerous. Rei screwing up like this is the kind of thing that might happen with someone with little control over their power that seems to function partly on emotion gets angry with someone. the results can be horrific. the person who did can feel massive guilt for doing so. and hammers in that one must be responsible with their powers than any words could.

it feels much similar to Aang burning Katara in early episode of Avatar, it sets the tone of just how dangerous fire can be and the consequences of playing with it.

and of course the first mention of the Ferromancer and how they control iron. which metaphysically contrasts with shadowmancy, and the ferromancy is more scientific/chemical in application shadows is more metaphysical, which speaks of the range in what kinds of things a mancy can be: its not just straight elements, nor is it straight scientific stuff, nor is can it not be something chemical like iron. there is a lot of things a mancy can be, they are quirks and mutations like that. and of course the dead policeman sets up that this ferromancer does not care about life like Rei does.

while Chloe....yeah she kind of made her own mistakes and got unfairly screwed over for it. this is where she gets real sympathetic.

[Rater202]

Poor Chloe... well, if there's an upside here "trying to light a cigarette gave me third-degree burns" is one hell of a motivator to quit smoking and...

Oh. Zodi, is this what you were talking about when you said there were a variety of reasons that Chloe shouldn't be smoking?

So, a Ferormancer killed the cop with a red crystal that may or may not have been made from the Cop's own blood.

The Ferromancer is after Gamma.

We are introduced to Gamma via a fight with a skeleton that is covered in red crystals.

That... That was less of a "monster" and more of a "puppet," wasn't it? Or does Feromancy include this world's version of Necromancy?

As for the Horror Movies? Until told otherwise I am going to assume that they're old-school Slasher Flicks based on the "Hook Hand Killer" urban legend.

[LaZodiac]

Ah yes this one.

This with the fire hurting Chloe? thats good storytelling right there. and further shows what kind of world this is: magic is dangerous. violence is dangerous. Rei screwing up like this is the kind of thing that might happen with someone with little control over their power that seems to function partly on emotion gets angry with someone. the results can be horrific. the person who did can feel massive guilt for doing so. and hammers in that one must be responsible with their powers than any words could.

it feels much similar to Aang burning Katara in early episode of Avatar, it sets the tone of just how dangerous fire can be and the consequences of playing with it.

and of course the first mention of the Ferromancer and how they control iron. which metaphysically contrasts with shadowmancy, and the ferromancy is more scientific/chemical in application shadows is more metaphysical, which speaks of the range in what kinds of things a mancy can be: its not just straight elements, nor is it straight scientific stuff, nor is can it not be something chemical like iron. there is a lot of things a mancy can be, they are quirks and mutations like that. and of course the dead policeman sets up that this ferromancer does not care about life like Rei does.

while Chloe....yeah she kind of made her own mistakes and got unfairly screwed over for it. this is where she gets real sympathetic.


Avatar definitely inspired some of this, I think. My editor mentioned that characters with fire powers as the main lead tend to be pretty rare, and I think it is this exact point that causes it; fire is genuinely destructive in a way that most protagonists might not be. Not everyone is going to be Fire Punch, the hero that kills everyone with a single touch.

The contrast of the Ferromancer's iron with Gamma's shadow is definitely an intentional one. Playing around a liiittle bit with darkness and light, hehe.

Question; any thoughts on chapter 12, since everyone but Fury seems to have taken that day off? Not that that's a concern or anything I'm just curious.


Poor Chloe... well, if there's an upside here "trying to light a cigarette gave me third-degree burns" is one hell of a motivator to quit smoking and...

Oh. Zodi, is this what you were talking about when you said there were a variety of reasons that Chloe shouldn't be smoking?

So, a Ferormancer killed the cop with a red crystal that may or may not have been made from the Cop's own blood.

The Ferromancer is after Gamma.

We are introduced to Gamma via a fight with a skeleton that is covered in red crystals.

That... That was less of a "monster" and more of a "puppet," wasn't it? Or does Feromancy include this world's version of Necromancy?

As for the Horror Movies? Until told otherwise I am going to assume that they're old-school Slasher Flicks based on the "Hook Hand Killer" urban legend.

I'll admit, I did bring up the "Chloe shouldn't be smoking" comment with this in mind, but also just the general fact that it's unhealthy and she wants to be a professional singer.

To clarify things a bit, since it gets across clearer in the text; Red Crystal, aka the puppet that Rei encountered in the dance club, is all crystal. It's a skeleton, but MADE of crystal, like it was sculpted. A good... if not 100% correct reference point would be Trace from Metroid Prime Hunters. Also, I'll say this here since it's not something that'll likely ever really be get-across-able in text due to just the context of everything; puppet is the term I use where most properties would use golem. Since golem has some baggage I don't want associated with these things that are primarily used by the bad guy.

It is either the Hook Hand Killer or some sort of evil fisherman. Take your pick!

also with regards to the... darker subject matter of this chapter in particular: I'd like to extend a very good thanks to Fury for handling it excellently. This is a pretty dark chapter and it gets pretty hard to read at times, for the good reasons, and I'm glad it seems like everyone is reacting well to it.

[Lord Raziere]

Question; any thoughts on chapter 12, since everyone but Fury seems to have taken that day off? Not that that's a concern or anything I'm just curious.


sorry, I was doing other things yesterday.


Ah yes, I thought ONY was an intentionally oppressive thing with how powerful it is, I'm american so any mega-corporation = cyberpunk evil to me, I'm surprised its apparently just a canadian thing. also, if ONY has monopoly on all goods, then the only logical place for Gamma to come from is ONY.

also, Rei's father is THAT accurate with darts? while drunk? that can't be pure luck, he either has some kind fortumancy or some kind of mancy to manipulate the materials the darts are made out of to do that.

I'm not sure how much I can comment on Verde and her wind magic since I don't know how much of her magic works counts as a spoiler.

[DataNinja]

A good... if not 100% correct reference point would be Trace from Metroid Prime Hunters.
Huh, well then. I've never ever heard anyone else ever reference that game before. :smalltongue:

[LaZodiac]

sorry, I was doing other things yesterday.


Ah yes, I thought ONY was an intentionally oppressive thing with how powerful it is, I'm american so any mega-corporation = cyberpunk evil to me, I'm surprised its apparently just a canadian thing. also, if ONY has monopoly on all goods, then the only logical place for Gamma to come from is ONY.

also, Rei's father is THAT accurate with darts? while drunk? that can't be pure luck, he either has some kind fortumancy or some kind of mancy to manipulate the materials the darts are made out of to do that.

I'm not sure how much I can comment on Verde and her wind magic since I don't know how much of her magic works counts as a spoiler.


Totally fair, sorry for buggin' :smallsmile:

I'll be honest I've seen dart players who can shoot near that good drunk. He might just be skilled.

To clarify a point; ONY is to the country of Felis as the Royal Family is to Canada. Our constitutional code refers to the reigning monarchy as "the living embodiment of the Canadian state" much like ONY is called such for Felis.


Huh, well then. I've never ever heard anyone else ever reference that game before. :smalltongue:

Look I've got some DEEP cuts on occasion DataNinja :smallamused:

[The Fury]

Ah yes this one.

This with the fire hurting Chloe? thats good storytelling right there. and further shows what kind of world this is: magic is dangerous. violence is dangerous. Rei screwing up like this is the kind of thing that might happen with someone with little control over their power that seems to function partly on emotion gets angry with someone. the results can be horrific. the person who did can feel massive guilt for doing so. and hammers in that one must be responsible with their powers than any words could.

it feels much similar to Aang burning Katara in early episode of Avatar, it sets the tone of just how dangerous fire can be and the consequences of playing with it.

and of course the first mention of the Ferromancer and how they control iron. which metaphysically contrasts with shadowmancy, and the ferromancy is more scientific/chemical in application shadows is more metaphysical, which speaks of the range in what kinds of things a mancy can be: its not just straight elements, nor is it straight scientific stuff, nor is can it not be something chemical like iron. there is a lot of things a mancy can be, they are quirks and mutations like that. and of course the dead policeman sets up that this ferromancer does not care about life like Rei does.

while Chloe....yeah she kind of made her own mistakes and got unfairly screwed over for it. this is where she gets real sympathetic.


For me, Chloe seemed sympathetic much earlier. It seemed to me that neither Chloe, nor Rei was happy about how their relationship ended. In Chloe's case she even liked to believe that Rei was still her friend, just one that had grown more distant. In this moment though, as Chloe had her emotional breakdown, I feel like it could have been a real turning point for her. She sees her mistakes and how they had affected Rei, and realizes that she really did lose a friend. In a happier world, Chloe and Rei might have hugged it out and gone back to have lunch together. Really, it didn't seem impossible, even now. Unfortunately, Rei is a pyromancer that doesn't have great control of her powers. So... this happens.

I still appreciate that the text makes it clear that Rei made a straight up mistake. It's not even a mistake that Rei's OK with. No matter what Chloe did, she didn't deserve this.


Poor Chloe... well, if there's an upside here "trying to light a cigarette gave me third-degree burns" is one hell of a motivator to quit smoking and...

Oh. Zodi, is this what you were talking about when you said there were a variety of reasons that Chloe shouldn't be smoking?

So, a Ferormancer killed the cop with a red crystal that may or may not have been made from the Cop's own blood.

The Ferromancer is after Gamma.

We are introduced to Gamma via a fight with a skeleton that is covered in red crystals.

That... That was less of a "monster" and more of a "puppet," wasn't it? Or does Feromancy include this world's version of Necromancy?

As for the Horror Movies? Until told otherwise I am going to assume that they're old-school Slasher Flicks based on the "Hook Hand Killer" urban legend.

I think that the text does imply that the cop was killed with a spike made from his own blood. As for what I've been calling Red Crystal and the text calls a "puppet" it's a red crystalline skeleton. I don't think it's made of blood if that's what you're asking. Mainly one of the more disturbing things about it is how it reacts to blood-- it uses it to grow flesh on its bare bones, makes me think that it's probably made out of something else.


Avatar definitely inspired some of this, I think. My editor mentioned that characters with fire powers as the main lead tend to be pretty rare, and I think it is this exact point that causes it; fire is genuinely destructive in a way that most protagonists might not be. Not everyone is going to be Fire Punch, the hero that kills everyone with a single touch.

The contrast of the Ferromancer's iron with Gamma's shadow is definitely an intentional one. Playing around a liiittle bit with darkness and light, hehe.

Question; any thoughts on chapter 12, since everyone but Fury seems to have taken that day off? Not that that's a concern or anything I'm just curious.


I'll admit, I did bring up the "Chloe shouldn't be smoking" comment with this in mind, but also just the general fact that it's unhealthy and she wants to be a professional singer.

To clarify things a bit, since it gets across clearer in the text; Red Crystal, aka the puppet that Rei encountered in the dance club, is all crystal. It's a skeleton, but MADE of crystal, like it was sculpted. A good... if not 100% correct reference point would be Trace from Metroid Prime Hunters. Also, I'll say this here since it's not something that'll likely ever really be get-across-able in text due to just the context of everything; puppet is the term I use where most properties would use golem. Since golem has some baggage I don't want associated with these things that are primarily used by the bad guy.

It is either the Hook Hand Killer or some sort of evil fisherman. Take your pick!

also with regards to the... darker subject matter of this chapter in particular: I'd like to extend a very good thanks to Fury for handling it excellently. This is a pretty dark chapter and it gets pretty hard to read at times, for the good reasons, and I'm glad it seems like everyone is reacting well to it.

I kind of like the idea of an evil fisherman. Especially if the movie is set in a foreboding, spooky village by the sea. Maybe one of those coastal areas with a lot of rocks and mist? Yeah.

I'm glad that you think that I handled the darker subject matter well. I sometimes worry that when I say something in this book is "hard to read," it'll be misinterpreted. It's not that it's difficult to comprehend, far from it. Sometimes the descriptions of violence get pretty graphic though. But it's worth noting that I think that graphically described violence serves a purpose in the story, so it's not gratuitous and is actually there for a reason. In other words, it's hard to read, but for the right reasons.

[Mith]

I will say that the descriptions at every point in the book are all good. You can picture them clearly, and it puts you in the emotional place of the scene very well.

On the subject of Chloe's likeability. I guess that's me as an adult speaking, but she is a child. Of course I feel sorry for her, even if didn't make good choices! Same as with Rei. It's not that they are not responsible for their choices, but at that age you have some many other things pulling at you, you really need support to lean on to get you through the worst of it. And since Chloe is able to get her hands on cigarettes, I can imagine that her friend circle such as it is is her strongest support network.

I haven't done much commenting on some of the scenes because my observations in some chapters more come from the perspective as a beta reader which isn't appropriate for this thread. Everything else is just "THIS IS SO SHINY AND GOOD EVEN AFTER 4 REREADS!" (I read through the book again for this thread). So not very intelligible or productive.

[Rater202]

I don't know, if the skeleton made of red crystals that was implicitly made by a person who implicitly makes red crystals out of blood absorbs bloodto grow flesh...

I'd argue that that makes it more likely tha it's made of blood, not less.

Which raised the question: Who did the feromancer kill to get enough blood to make a skeleton's worth out of it?

Were there any mentions of disappearance earlier in the story?

[The Fury]

I don't know, if the skeleton made of red crystals that was implicitly made by a person who implicitly makes red crystals out of blood absorbs bloodto grow flesh...

I'd argue that that makes it more likely tha it's made of blood, not less.

Which raised the question: Who did the feromancer kill to get enough blood to make a skeleton's worth out of it?

Were there any mentions of disappearance earlier in the story?

There weren't any mentions of disappearances, no. My thinking with regards to what the Red Crystal puppets are made of is that they seem to be made of some kind of crystal which reacts to blood, not blood itself.

Another thing that's not clear is whether or not the blood spike that killed the cop behaves like the crystal that the puppets are made of. The crystalline bones that make up the puppets are stated to dissolve after a while. I don't know if the blood spike would do that too-- it's not mentioned in the official news report though so it might.

[Mith]

I don't know, if the skeleton made of red crystals that was implicitly made by a person who implicitly makes red crystals out of blood absorbs bloodto grow flesh...

I'd argue that that makes it more likely tha it's made of blood, not less.

Which raised the question: Who did the feromancer kill to get enough blood to make a skeleton's worth out of it?

Were there any mentions of disappearance earlier in the story?

The implication I have always had from the scene is that the ferromancer used the hemoglobin of the blood to create a spike, pulling the blood-iron out of the body as a spike.

[The Fury]

Brand new day, brand new chapter. Let's go! Actually, not really. I'm getting this one up kind of late. So it's actually a crusty old day. At least we get a brand new chapter, right?

Chapter Fourteen is largely a flashback that delves into Gamma's backstory, and a lot about him can be confirmed. But I'll come back to that.

Gamma is just chillin' in a tube full of goo. As you do when you're a science experiment. He has disturbing dreams while in the tube, dreams about shadow. Formless pitch darkness swirling around him, oddly corporeal shadows.

Anyway, keeping Gamma in this goo-- artificial amniotic fluid, evidently keeps Gamma alive and strong. Not strong enough to bust through the shackles that are binding him. Apparently Gamma has been wanting to escape for some time now and he's made attempts before. Mainly though, he's shackled for the safety of his handlers. It's suggested that this tube full of goo helps Gamma recover from tests, which are physically demanding. Not only that, they're getting more frequent.

Speaking of tests, it's about time to start one. It's time to meet our friendly neighborhood scientists, Dr. Ingram, the facility lead. Dr. Ingram's sporting a white leather jacket with a cool red pip. From his baldness, I gather he must be the human form of the beetle demon Gamma showed the girls in an earlier chapter. Especially since the next person we meet is pretty clearly the dog woman Gamma showed in the same chapter. Dog woman is named Dr. Carter, someone with a kind, playful face and an upbeat demeanor. She also designed Gamma's tests, so it's no surprise that he remembers her so clearly, and not all that fondly.

The reason for the more frequent tests is made clear, The Lord, (whoever he is,) says they're coming up on a deadline with their Projects. The capitalization is not an accident by the way, it's written that way in the text deliberately. See, one of those Projects is Gamma. Meaning that there are likely others like Gamma, being experimented on by... I assume ONY. Given that the facility seems pretty advanced, likely secret and patrolled by heavily armed guards, it seems probable. After all, Rei did read about ONY having secret think tanks and research facilities. Pretty much everything else that she read on that seemingly dubious website turned out to be pretty accurate so far.

The way Dr. Ingram and Dr. Carter talk about Gamma is very dehumanizing. They don't seem to regard that Gamma is a person, because in their mind... he isn't one. Even his name is dehumanizing. Project Gamma. It's just part of a sequence. Anyway it's time to get on with the test. What are these scientists trying to do? Evidently they want to awaken Gamma's powers, (this is apparently before he had his shadowmancy.) How do they do that? Well, as Gamma mentioned earlier when Rei's pyromancy got awakened... heightened emotion and stress. In this case, they're having Gamma fight "riot suppression puppets." Presumably something like Red Crystal, but designed for... well, riot suppression. This time they even got an advanced model provided by their benefactor! Oh boy! That means they can test out the new model's effectiveness and maybe awaken Gamma's powers! That's a win-win. There's a side mention of something called a "mnemonic puppet" as well, apparently that program concluded. Whether that means they failed at the prototype stage of they're done with testing them is not certain.

Anyway, our riot suppression puppet comes on in and is all set to beat the daylights out of Gamma. It looks mostly how you might expect it to look. It's an armored-up humanoid with a baton. The one thing about it that seems odd is that it's wearing a gas mask. Does that mean that it needs to breathe? That's a question for another time, because riot suppression puppet lays the smackdown on Gamma. Almost like a skinny emo kid doesn't fare amazingly against an magic armored combat robot. I had my suspicions, but it's important to be scientific about these things. Dr. Ingram isn't having it though and in his exasperated way, demands the Gamma fight back. Around this time, our friendly scientists get a call on speaker phone from Lord Orochi. Oh boy! he sounds important. Minor aside, Orochi is named after the eight-headed, eight-tailed serpent from Japanese myth... would "ONY" be a shoutout to Japanese myth too? ONY--oni. Yeah?

Anyway, luckily for Gamma this means that riot suppression puppet takes a break from pounding him into the dirt. Our friendly scientists need to talk with Lord Orochi and he's getting impatient. They're making progress with Gamma, but not enough. Projects Delta and Alpha are already growing their powers and project Beta's powers have matured. Orochi leaves the research team to their work. The friendly scientists have until tomorrow night to produce tangible results. By any means necessary. If it seems like Orochi is threatening the friendly scientists, that's because he is. He's apparently made good on a threat against a research team before, since it seems Project Epsilon did not go well. So now it's awaken Gamma's powers or die trying. Dr. Carter has just the thing for it too-- she'll disable the puppet's safety mechanism. This causes the puppet's armor to heat up and the casing of its baton to pop off to reveal a sword blade.

This does awaken something in Gamma. An intense rage and hatred towards Lord Orochi. Orochi did just decide that unless Gamma's powers awaken, he's useless. He does apparently also have one of those smug sounding voices that you just want to punch in the face, so that helps. Gamma wants to live, but more out of spite now than anything else. All this is enough for Gamma to awaken his shadowmancy and tear riot suppression puppet to bits. The friendly scientists cheer! Success! They did it! More than that, they're saved!

Or are they?

The kid they've been tormenting for who knows how long has now developed the ability to manipulate shadows and use them to rend things apart. It's not exactly a surprise that this kid might not have any love for this research team. Especially now that he can see what the range of his powers are... Can Gamma reach the inside of the monitoring room with his powers? I don't know. Ask the dismembered friendly scientists on the inside.

Gamma was able to escape afterward, only able to get away from the ferromancer because he wanted to capture Gamma alive. Yet, he hadn't felt truly free until he found friends in Rei, Verde and Ella, but especially Rei. Not that he'd ever say as much. In fact, this whole chapter seems to be a lot of things that Gamma refuses to tell Rei.

As we come back to present day, Rei asks, "So... you going to tell us what happened to you?"

to which Gamma replies, "No, absolutely not."

As for our closing thoughts, Gamma really had never seen the outside of a lab or even even eaten food before, at least not as far as he can remember. He's never even had a name before-- what has been functioning as a name was just an indicator of his place in a sequence, about as personal as a serial number. This is just one way that the research team dehumanized him as they ran tests on him. Why bother with the dehumanizing? It probably made their more cruel actions seem more acceptable. After all, if you're hurting a thing and not a person, it can be a lot easier to live with yourself.

Some questions remain about Gamma though. What does ONY want with mancers? They've managed to get Alpha, Beta and Delta to develop powers, and they already have the ferromancer on their payroll. For that matter, are Projects Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta lab-grown artificial people or are they just people that their research teams tinkered with until they developed mancer powers? All that's really known about them is that they never knew life outside the labs and they've never had names. While the former being true handily explains that, the latter could also be true if the ONY brought them into the labs when they were too young to remember anything. I guess whichever answer you like depends on how tragic do you want Gamma to be.

Next time we lean into Chapter Fifteen!

[LaZodiac]

Aah, chapter 14.

The intent with the riot suppression puppet, is that it looks like a riot cop (https://66.media.tumblr.com/7fd9dd9375aee1afa1a07d6db0253dd8/tumblr_mq3yp3ZHLu1sb2tyyo1_500.jpg), but all stark white and metal in places. An unsettling, far too human appearance if you're an enemy, but a seemingly friend sight if you're on its side.

The ending "joke" of chapter 13 ending with an obvious set up for Gamma telling his backstory, and chapter 14 ending with Gamma going "yeah no this is too ****ed up for these kids" is one of the favorite little moments in the book of one of the beta readers. It's a tiny thing, but a thing that I think is kinda funny too, honestly.

[Lord Raziere]

Bloodlines and magic based on symbols? a shadow wielder? Lord Orochimaru? I can see the Naruto inspiration in this. :smalltongue: I'm sorry but thats the first thing my mind jumped to when I read Lord Orochi. I know he is also inspired by japanese mythology, but seriously Lord Orochi AND conducting creepy science experiments on kids? made me think of the anime character.

Gamma to be clear:was intentionally not fighting that puppet, he was intending to die to release himself from his suffering.
So Orochi just screwed himself over by giving himself an enemy there.

Now I have to come up with a mancersona. I'm thinking an Electromancer. Her name will be Sigma, she like totally escaped from ONY in the most edgily awesome manner, and she will totally be super pretty and more awesome than everyone and like get a harem of other girls but don't worry she totally isn't like a mary sue or anything, don't hate. :smalltongue:

Given how there are three other experiments who were more successful, I think Rei is going to find out eventually anyways, Gamma.

[Rater202]

I'd like to see the credentials of these scientists.

Unless there's a reason that it had to be violence, attempting to forcibly awaken someone's powers with extreme stress or emotion, it's likely that they'd start by regularly giving him strong stimulants. Excessive consumption of stimulants tends to cause anxiety, paranoia, and a constant sense of dread while also being decently hard on the body.

Proper scientists would do so and monitor his vitals, stressing him out slowly over time while making sure that they don't accidentally kill him. Mix the stimulant with a narcotic and you can get him addicted and use it to control him,.

"Mad Quacks with no respect for proper science working for the megacorp" is a common Trope, but with regular beatings runs the risk of killing the test subject and that's time and money wasted--Evil for the sake of Evil rather than "we have a goal and no sense of morals so we're doing it this way."

Also, Fury? I hate to be a pendant like this but technically "Orochi" simply means "Great Serpent." Basically, any big snake. The eight-headed and eight tailed snakes (or sometimes a dragon) is specifically "Yamata-no-Orochi," the "Eight-Branched Great Serpent." Orochimaru of "The Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya" had absolutely nothing to do with the Orochi, he was just a guy with snake magic. (Kishimoto named his characters in reference to that story.)

It doesn't change the intended reference... Unless it does. I don't know how deep the cuts Zodi's trying to make go.

[LaZodiac]

I'd like to see the credentials of these scientists.

Unless there's a reason that it had to be violence, attempting to forcibly awaken someone's powers with extreme stress or emotion, it's likely that they'd start by regularly giving him strong stimulants. Excessive consumption of stimulants tends to cause anxiety, paranoia, and a constant sense of dread while also being decently hard on the body.

Proper scientists would do so and monitor his vitals, stressing him out slowly over time while making sure that they don't accidentally kill him. Mix the stimulant with a narcotic and you can get him addicted and use it to control him,.

"Mad Quacks with no respect for proper science working for the megacorp" is a common Trope, but with regular beatings runs the risk of killing the test subject and that's time and money wasted--Evil for the sake of Evil rather than "we have a goal and no sense of morals so we're doing it this way."

Also, Fury? I hate to be a pendant like this but technically "Orochi" simply means "Great Serpent." Basically, any big snake. The eight-headed and eight tailed snakes (or sometimes a dragon) is specifically "Yamata-no-Orochi," the "Eight-Branched Great Serpent." Orochimaru of "The Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya" had absolutely nothing to do with the Orochi, he was just a guy with snake magic. (Kishimoto named his characters in reference to that story.)

It doesn't change the intended reference... Unless it does. I don't know how deep the cuts Zodi's trying to make go.


If it helps any, they likely did try those things at first. Gamma's been through a lot, it's possibly his memory isn't 100% there. I do get that it 100% looks like evil for the sake of evil, but if more mundane methods would have worked they likely wouldn't have gotten to this level of abuse. It is gotten across in the text that the scientists were actually rather cautious with the "lets beat the power out of him" method, at the very least.

Textually, it's easier to see who Orochi is a reference to specifically, but it's a subtle thing potentially so I won't bring it up myself.

[The Fury]

Aah, chapter 14.

The intent with the riot suppression puppet, is that it looks like a riot cop (https://66.media.tumblr.com/7fd9dd9375aee1afa1a07d6db0253dd8/tumblr_mq3yp3ZHLu1sb2tyyo1_500.jpg), but all stark white and metal in places. An unsettling, far too human appearance if you're an enemy, but a seemingly friend sight if you're on its side.

The ending "joke" of chapter 13 ending with an obvious set up for Gamma telling his backstory, and chapter 14 ending with Gamma going "yeah no this is too ****ed up for these kids" is one of the favorite little moments in the book of one of the beta readers. It's a tiny thing, but a thing that I think is kinda funny too, honestly.

I feel a little put out that I couldn't think of a good nickname for that puppet. "Riot Muppet" is about the best I could think of, but I think that conjures the wrong mental image.



Bloodlines and magic based on symbols? a shadow wielder? Lord Orochimaru? I can see the Naruto inspiration in this. :smalltongue: I'm sorry but thats the first thing my mind jumped to when I read Lord Orochi. I know he is also inspired by japanese mythology, but seriously Lord Orochi AND conducting creepy science experiments on kids? made me think of the anime character.

Gamma to be clear:was intentionally not fighting that puppet, he was intending to die to release himself from his suffering.
So Orochi just screwed himself over by giving himself an enemy there.

Now I have to come up with a mancersona. I'm thinking an Electromancer. Her name will be Sigma, she like totally escaped from ONY in the most edgily awesome manner, and she will totally be super pretty and more awesome than everyone and like get a harem of other girls but don't worry she totally isn't like a mary sue or anything, don't hate. :smalltongue:

Given how there are three other experiments who were more successful, I think Rei is going to find out eventually anyways, Gamma.


Naruto was one of those things that passed me by, I'm afraid. That's a weird thing to say on the internet, I know. It's a little like saying that you've never seen an episode of The Simpsons.

My mancersona is Called Project D. Not "Delta," "D." Different ONY facility that used the English alphabet, see. They're a solarmancer, which sounds cool, but they can mostly just make the room brighter and give people really bad sunburns. As long as everyone's wearing shades, D is mostly harmless. Also, yeah. I did make a really dumb stealth pun.


I'd like to see the credentials of these scientists.

Unless there's a reason that it had to be violence, attempting to forcibly awaken someone's powers with extreme stress or emotion, it's likely that they'd start by regularly giving him strong stimulants. Excessive consumption of stimulants tends to cause anxiety, paranoia, and a constant sense of dread while also being decently hard on the body.

Proper scientists would do so and monitor his vitals, stressing him out slowly over time while making sure that they don't accidentally kill him. Mix the stimulant with a narcotic and you can get him addicted and use it to control him,.

"Mad Quacks with no respect for proper science working for the megacorp" is a common Trope, but with regular beatings runs the risk of killing the test subject and that's time and money wasted--Evil for the sake of Evil rather than "we have a goal and no sense of morals so we're doing it this way."

Also, Fury? I hate to be a pendant like this but technically "Orochi" simply means "Great Serpent." Basically, any big snake. The eight-headed and eight tailed snakes (or sometimes a dragon) is specifically "Yamata-no-Orochi," the "Eight-Branched Great Serpent." Orochimaru of "The Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya" had absolutely nothing to do with the Orochi, he was just a guy with snake magic. (Kishimoto named his characters in reference to that story.)

It doesn't change the intended reference... Unless it does. I don't know how deep the cuts Zodi's trying to make go.

It's possible that giving the mancer Projects drugs was tried and had limited effectiveness? Maybe a stressed out, paranoid mancer with not yet known powers was deemed too risky?They also wanted to test the effectiveness of their riot puppet. Not to say that you're necessarily wrong. Lord Orochi didn't seem happy with their progress, so it might just be that our friendly scientists really don't know what they're doing.

Also... Pssh! Don't worry about being a pedant. You have a more comprehensive knowledge base than I do and that's good actually. Though most references to "Orochi" refer to that particular "great serpent," so I was pretty confident that was the case here.

[Lord Raziere]

Naruto was one of those things that passed me by, I'm afraid. That's a weird thing to say on the internet, I know. It's a little like saying that you've never seen an episode of The Simpsons.

My mancersona is Called Project D. Not "Delta," "D." Different ONY facility that used the English alphabet, see. They're a solarmancer, which sounds cool, but they can mostly just make the room brighter and give people really bad sunburns. As long as everyone's wearing shades, D is mostly harmless. Also, yeah. I did make a really dumb stealth pun.

Also... Pssh! Don't worry about being a pedant. You have a more comprehensive knowledge base than I do and that's good actually. Though most references to "Orochi" refer to that particular "great serpent," so I was pretty confident that was the case here.


thats okay, I've never seen Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, Jurassic Park, The Mandalorian, probably haven't seen most horror stuff they're not my thing, don't like Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, George RR Martin or William Shakespeare all that much, and I hate One Piece, Spongebob Squarepants and all the memes that it ever spawned. probably stuff I don't remember, because I either don't like or watch it. heck, I don't keep track of celebrities, if you ask me who voiced or played what or whatever chances are I don't know or care.

Of course, the real mancersona Zodi has to watch out for the Omega the Necromancer. thats the uncreative one all the edgy kids WILL come up if you give them the chance, and basically make the character Gamma x100.

Yeah Orochi is in every japanese myth themed setting and they're always the main villain. its kind of disappointing actually, because they never use Amatsu-Mikaboshi even though he has so much potential.

[Rater202]

thats okay, I've never seen Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, Jurassic Park, The Mandalorian, probably haven't seen most horror stuff they're not my thing, don't like Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, George RR Martin or William Shakespeare all that much, and I hate One Piece, Spongebob Squarepants and all the memes that it ever spawned. probably stuff I don't remember, because I either don't like or watch it. heck, I don't keep track of celebrities, if you ask me who voiced or played what or whatever chances are I don't know or care.

Of course, the real mancersona Zodi has to watch out for the Omega the Necromancer. thats the uncreative one all the edgy kids WILL come up if you give them the chance, and basically make the character Gamma x100.

Yeah Orochi is in every japanese myth themed setting and they're always the main villain. its kind of disappointing actually, because they never use Amatsu-Mikaboshi even though he has so much potential.

No, she should be looking out for Epsilon the Soulmancer who has red eyes and paperwhite skin and hair as black as night that's super messy with blood-red-tipped spiked bangs that cover one eye and vampire teeth and the left ear is pierced with an upside-down cross that he insists means satan even though it actually means saint peter. He wears a black leather trenchcoat and a matching fedora

His power means he can rip peoples souls out to make spectral minions or eat them to gain their mancies but like, at full power and potential none of that training bullcrap and even though he abuses this power maliciously he claims to hate it and is constantly crying blood becuase no one knows how he feels and not becuase his girlfriend Enoby broke up with him becuase he's a poser who isn't Goff enuff for her.

(I looked up the Greek for soul, psychí, but decided that not even bothering fit the edgy mary sue OC aesthetic better.)

[LaZodiac]

I'm in love with the conversation currently unfolding before me.

This isn't something that is brought up in book 1 but the actual in universe example of someone misappropriating that specific religious symbolism like that would be an upside down chalice. Consider this a teeny tiny tease for book 2, because it's actually going to get into that stuff.

[The Fury]

thats okay, I've never seen Rick and Morty, Gravity Falls, Jurassic Park, The Mandalorian, probably haven't seen most horror stuff they're not my thing, don't like Terry Pratchett, Monty Python, George RR Martin or William Shakespeare all that much, and I hate One Piece, Spongebob Squarepants and all the memes that it ever spawned. probably stuff I don't remember, because I either don't like or watch it. heck, I don't keep track of celebrities, if you ask me who voiced or played what or whatever chances are I don't know or care.

Of course, the real mancersona Zodi has to watch out for the Omega the Necromancer. thats the uncreative one all the edgy kids WILL come up if you give them the chance, and basically make the character Gamma x100.

Yeah Orochi is in every japanese myth themed setting and they're always the main villain. its kind of disappointing actually, because they never use Amatsu-Mikaboshi even though he has so much potential.


Fair enough.

As much as I like the mancersona I just invented, I imagine that if I made a mancer OC in earnest it probably wouldn't be an escaped ONY project. Probably one that grew up and discovered their powers on the outside, like Rei did.

As for making an OC that's Gamma with a ton extra gloom and doom... I think I'd have to wait to see what other kinds of mancers exist in canon. I don't know if I'd want to invent a power darker than the mancies already depicted or just use what's already there. I guess necromancy is a good standby if you're the sort of person that found Gamma too bright and cheery.

As for Orochi... I've figured out who he is... in myth, he's a serpent with eight heads and eight tails, right?

So obviously, in Cursed World he's eight snakes in a trenchcoat. I just spilled some hot tea...


No, she should be looking out for Epsilon the Soulmancer who has red eyes and paperwhite skin and hair as black as night that's super messy with blood-red-tipped spiked bangs that cover one eye and vampire teeth and the left ear is pierced with an upside-down cross that he insists means satan even though it actually means saint peter. He wears a black leather trenchcoat and a matching fedora

His power means he can rip peoples souls out to make spectral minions or eat them to gain their mancies but like, at full power and potential none of that training bullcrap and even though he abuses this power maliciously he claims to hate it and is constantly crying blood becuase no one knows how he feels and not becuase his girlfriend Enoby broke up with him becuase he's a poser who isn't Goff enuff for her.

(I looked up the Greek for soul, psychí, but decided that not even bothering fit the edgy mary sue OC aesthetic better.)

I feel like I should point out that Project Epsilon did not end well in canon, it seems likely that Epsilon themselves is dead. Unless this is alternate continuity or if this Epsilon is undead. If the latter... COOL! It's also kind of a bummer that we're going more for the grim mary sue route... as much as I agree that "soulmancer" suits the archetype better, someone saying they're a "psychomancer" sounds cooler to me. Good luck, Epsilon. You deserved better than Enoby anyway.

[LaZodiac]

I think, beyond just the fact that this conversation is wonderful, comparing it with my own notes and plans is VERY fun.

[Lord Raziere]

.....Guys it was a joke. I was making fun of fandoms by trying to tease Zodi with cringe in mock preparation for the horror that is OCs. your not reacting with horror at the thought, I'm disappointed.

[Rater202]

Fair enough.

As much as I like the mancersona I just invented, I imagine that if I made a mancer OC in earnest it probably wouldn't be an escaped ONY project. Probably one that grew up and discovered their powers on the outside, like Rei did.

As for making an OC that's Gamma with a ton extra gloom and doom... I think I'd have to wait to see what other kinds of mancers exist in canon. I don't know if I'd want to invent a power darker than the mancies already depicted or just use what's already there. I guess necromancy is a good standby if you're the sort of person that found Gamma too bright and cheery.

As for Orochi... I've figured out who he is... in myth, he's a serpent with eight heads and eight tails, right?

So obviously, in Cursed World he's eight snakes in a trenchcoat. I just spilled some hot tea...



I feel like I should point out that Project Epsilon did not end well in canon, it seems likely that Epsilon themselves is dead. Unless this is alternate continuity or if this Epsilon is undead. If the latter... COOL! It's also kind of a bummer that we're going more for the grim mary sue route... as much as I agree that "soulmancer" suits the archetype better, someone saying they're a "psychomancer" sounds cooler to me. Good luck, Epsilon. You deserved better than Enoby anyway.

do you honestly think that the kind of person who writes these kinds of fanfics pays attention to whether or not the identity of the character they made up actually exists in canon?

As for Lord Orochi?They all need to be tied together around the middle.

[DataNinja]

.....Guys it was a joke. I was making fun of fandoms by trying to tease Zodi with cringe in mock preparation for the horror that is OCs. your not reacting with horror at the thought, I'm disappointed.
Spoilers: It's not going to work. She lives for the engagement. All your attempts at cringe only make her stronger. :smallwink:

[The Fury]

As much fun as discussing fanfic that hasn't been written yet is, (seriously though, it's awesome,) it's time for our next chapter!

Rei is pressing Gamma to tell her about what happened, but Gamma's not having it. Ella makes the point that everyone is allowed their own secrets. Which, y'know... fair. Rei personally suspects that Ella doesn't want to hear the details of Gamma's past because she's kind of timid about scary stuff, but does concede that she isn't wrong. Gamma does tell them something though-- the people that are after him are the ones that made him. And if it things get dangerous, don't be a hero. Run.

For now it's back to training. As Rei psyches herself up, Gamma uses his shadow hands to drink a piping hot can of ravioli. Mm-MM! Rei falls flat on her face again. For whatever reason this training just isn't working. Too bad we don't have a riot suppression puppet to bludgeon her into the ground, eh? Though it's still not clear what Rei isn't doing right and why it's not working. Frustrated, Rei punches the floor. Normally, doing something like that might make you feel better in the moment but isn't very productive. This time though... the plastic flooring melted where she had punched. Rei has an epiphany about her powers and how they work. To test it out she punches towards their campfire and it erupts in flame. Oh, and the flames around Rei's hand return.

Rei comes to believe that the reason that Gamma's techniques don't work for her is because they're for shadowmancy, and shadows are not like fire at all. Further, when Rei's fire does come out, it's always been when she's angry, panicked, or flustered. If she can remember her mindset when she was feeling that way... Without giving a play by play, she experiments with her powers and it seems like her theory was accurate. In fact, this is the most reliably we've ever seen Rei's powers work. She even boils over Gamma's can of ravioli being held by his shadow claw. OK... Rude.

In any case, the group decide on a training exercise. Gamma holds a candle with his shadow claw, if Rei can explode the candle, she wins. If Gamma can knock her down, he wins. Gamma seems OK with this arrangement, even a little excited about it. He even has this to say, "...Now, proj...pyromancer, begin!"

Note that he almost calls Rei "Project." Even though he escaped the lab, parts of the experience are still with Gamma.

While sparring with Gamma she notes that he fights similarly to how Chloe used her character in their fighting game tournament. Staying back, and using his powers to keep her at range. Without getting into too much detail, Rei nearly gets the upper hand but Gamma is able to shadow-punch her in the guts and she eventually collapses. Rei and Gamma have a little bit of a friendly conversation about how their sparring had gone, and with that, Gamma decides that it's time to call it a day.

Verde is pretty thrilled about what just happened, she even suggests bringing their video camera next time to film it. Ella... is less thrilled. While she's very polite, she's also visibly freaked out by what she's seen and holding onto her umbrella for dear life. Rei wants to go again, but her stomach says otherwise. As Gamma explains, mancers burn through fuel quickly and Rei needs to get some food. Magic users have this problem as well. Rei asks Verde to message Aria, Rei still hasn't gotten a replacement phone, evidently it's already about six in the evening and Aria has sent several messages. Usually not a good sign when parents do that. So Rei's heading home but Verde's staying with Gamma for a while. Evidently he's still got a lot to learn about the world. The three will not be meeting at school the next day though, apparently the school has been closed for a week. Understandable. A student getting burned alive usually makes learning difficult and we could all use a break. Rei is outwardly pleasant about everything, but she's quietly a bit melancholy. She still blames herself for what happened.

Mothers often worry, so Aria's reaction when Rei finally gets home is understandable. If you're already a worrier, someone getting burned alive at your child's school is a lot to deal with. So Aria is all tearful hugs when Rei walks through the door. Verde's mother, Estelle is the one taking care of Chloe, Aria had been talking with her. Chloe is expected to recover, so that's good. Rei says that she'll visit Chloe tomorrow. That is if she's allowed visitors, and whether she'll even want to see Rei. At any rate, tonight seems a good night to order pizza. Rei makes a note that she'll tell Aria about everything. Her pyromancy, Gamma, the fact that she was the one that lit Chloe on fire-- all of it. Just not tonight. She's not ready yet.

Back at the burnt dance club, Verde admits to Gamma that she has ulterior motives for staying with Gamma. She wants training from him too. She wants to be trained harder than Rei even. Oh, Verde. Haven't you seen any shounen anime? You can't surpass Rei, she's got protagonist powers. Though Gamma isn't unwilling to train Verde, he's a little baffled as to how to train her-- after all, what can she even do? Thankfully, Verde demonstrates. She casts another wind spell that she learned from the book that she got from Ella. "Klingenluft."

Our chapter ends with Gamma agreeing to help Verde train and hone her fledgling spellcasting.

Closing thoughts-- Rei having a breakthrough on how her powers work is the big event of this chapter. It suggests that mancers need to be like whatever they control and that they're stronger whenever they're around it. Rei's stronger when she's around fire and Gamma's stronger when he's around shadow. Like fire, Rei's powers can get out of control if she's careless. So in a sense, her control needs to be more deliberate. Verde is continuing to make strides in becoming a spellcaster.
Though as both develop their powers, I come back to Gamma's comment that mancers and spellcasters burn through fuel faster. Does this mean that they'll start eating like Ella? All three just sort of hangin' out... wolfing down large quantities of food.

Next time is Chapter Sixteen, I'll be on scene.

[DataNinja]

Does this mean that they'll start eating like Ella? All three just sort of hangin' out... wolfing down large quantities of food.
Imagine Ella casting magic. "What're you wanting for dinner, young lady?" "One horse, please. To start." :smalltongue:

[Rater202]

...Rei needs to Watch Avatar, stat.

At least the episode with the Dancing Dragon.

If she needs to be like fire to have fire powers, she needs to embrace the good aspects of fire rather than relying on her anger, becuase that's a good way to fall to the Darkside.

[The Fury]

...Rei needs to Watch Avatar, stat.

At least the episode with the Dancing Dragon.

If she needs to be like fire to have fire powers, she needs to embrace the good aspects of fire rather than relying on her anger, becuase that's a good way to fall to the Darkside.

I see where you're coming from, though I'm not sure that's a serious concern. There's a lot of similarity between pyromancy as presented here and Firebending, at least functionally. Metaphysically... I think they diverge. Firebending can be fueled by rage and hate, but true Firebending isn't like that. Lightning is said to be divorced from feeling altogether. Pyromancy meanwhile, doesn't seem to be fueled by any one emotion. Rather, it seems the intensity of those feelings matters more than which feelings they are.

Firebending is also depicted as strictly voluntary. That is, no matter how much rage a Firebender is feeling, they won't Firebend unless they choose to. Pyromancy can get out of control all on its own. Rei has used her pyromancy without meaning to of course, there's also the unnamed pyromancer that burned the dance club when she lost control of her powers, presumably because she was feeling some heightened emotions too.

I think the risk for Rei is getting afraid of her own feelings. She wouldn't be totally wrong to say that her emotions are literally dangerous, it is kind of true. So I could imagine a future version of her that's shut herself down and emotionally checked out in order to keep everyone safe.

[LaZodiac]

Yeah, the general idea is that it is the intensity, that determination, that fuels Rei. Whether it goes good or not depends on her own ability to control it, and intentionally invoking that feeling leads to it being more controllable... for the most part, as she demonstrated.

Not to bog the thread down too much with author comments, but this is part of why I feel like fire is a compelling "power" for a protagonist to have. It's very evocative in both literal and metatextual ways, and if you can find a way to handle the fact that Fire Dangerous, you can do some really good things with it. Like say, with Avatar, and the fact that I'm being mentioned in the same breath as that show has me swimming, as an aside.

[Ibrinar]

A read along hmm I shall give the reading sample a try to see whether I will follow along. Anyway this will probably be a rambley stream of consciousness mess since I will comment while reading.


Some fire symbol foreshadowing in a dream sequence paragraph, fitting the book name I suppose.

Never heard purity knot in relation to hair, no idea how to picture it, but I don't picture characters much anyway so it isn't important.

She is close to being late apparently (well depending on the distance), didn't she wake up at a planned time what with the alarm waking here? Is the implication that she just set it so she has little time or that she spent longer laying in bed afterwards than I thought? Also sounds like she skipped brushing teeth tsk-tsk.

Sounds like she lives somewhere suburban and there will be winter soon, hmm wonder whether Halloween will come up, though I don't know if the setting has Halloween.

I hope ONY isn't a play on Oni that would be silly, but there are only so many 3 letter combos some are bound to sound like something.

"It's probably not prom" I know it is supposed to show she can be scatterbrained or something like that but that sounds a bit too silly imo. Also allusion to some burn marks incident that will be relevant later.

Is getting transfer students something you get warned about before? Never had any in my school so no idea. Anyway friend A acquired. Though I dunno why she think it is important that Rei remembers this. I guess in a small town transfer students might promise to be something interesting?

Girl transfer student runs around with a parasol indoors and gets a description of decent length so she will be relevant, not that being one of two first chapter transfer students didn't make that quite likely anyway.

Boy transfer student... Oh dear overblown reaction to hot guys is rarely a good sign in urban fantasy. Especially when it is to the degree of short circuiting the MCs brain since she had to be jabbed to notice the teacher speaking with her. (Well unless the hot guy is an incubus and the main character is in danger of dying, that is okay. )

Also MCs last name is revealed when pairing choosing her to be the class representative for Boy transfer which I presume means she shows him around and stuff. Anyway "Scios" sounds unusual as a name, hmm google just says it is the future form of scii (to know) no interesting connection immediately apparent so I shall assume it isn't some meaningful name. Talking about names Rei sounds japanese, though Aria doesn't (unless the grandparents are into the anime).

Anyway back to the transfer student. "what she imagined ice would sound like if it had a mouth" that line is slightly painful. Anyway she is nervous and science seems to be a practical class if she has the chance to make explosions, though it isn't shown so not quite sure.

Friend A conveniently was paired with Girl transfer so they all meet to eat. And she thinks about why she is reacting so strongly, so maybe some hope for the murderous incubus option.^^ Girl Transfer is too long so I suppose I should start using their names, Ella and Kestrel. Ella is a big eater, Kestrel isn't. And Ella can apparently tell where everyone is from, an neat trick I suppose.

And gives love fortunes via palm reading. Probably some real powers since it triggers some violent interaction. Though some allusion to infatuation so maybe the same would happen if Kestrel touched her hands, who knows. (Since she isn't losing her mind over Ella but is over Kestrel the attraction is likely to be irrelevant unless we get lucky with the murderous Incubus thing. Lust on first glance tends to take precedence.) MC sees some fire but nobody else notices so she drops the topic.

They bug Kestrel about being quiet (which is an annoying way to get somebody that is being quiet involved imo. Just ask questions without bringing up that they don't participate enough, at least if you barely know them.) He establishes that he has secrets that require working out and ONY comes up again. Transfer boys family works there so it is likely important. And the constant moving his family does might be too.

"shouts of concern" about opening an umbrella, unless that mean she opened it in someones face that seems a bit dramatic. Anyway its inside depicts some story with foxes and snakes about how look can be deceiving which she notes isn't all that interesting. Relatively high chance of it being relevant to something, but possible it is just supposed to establish something about her character. Decent chance of her having some secret too. Also the guy knows a similar story.

Seems the fortune incident left black traces, wonder why she didn't show that to the other when bringing up the flame. Also doesn't something have to get burned to produce soot? Not sure.

Temporary verdict: Reads like a pretty standard YA urban fantasy opening, though with the MC reacting strongly to the hot boy it has traces of paranormal romance. Nothing has caught my interest but it is readable.



Warning, traces of high school drama detected! "They were cruel, twisted girls who played at being haughty rich kids." High-schooler bully drama tends to be boring especially in a fantasy setting where there are usually more interesting supernatural threat so I hope there isn't much of it but that they apparently bullied MC is a bad sign.

Internet articles about the president of ONY founding an underground think tank to study psychic powers. Probably true or simili though that would mean they are kinda bad at hiding if sketchy websites know. And Rei is into the sort of stories apparently. Ah and there is the burn mark incident, so fire magic I guess but she doesn't know how to use it deliberately. Which leads to the question if in the setting powers only awaken when older. Probably, children with spontanous powers gets messy. And now she presents the mark but Friend A is unimpressed. But the plot hook of a self immolating dancer and a burnt out club is added.

And noises + supposedly haunted! But you know they could write that story about any built out building, finding that it is indeed burnt doesn't tell her much and it is not like she can reconstruct the scene from old traces. And if it is indeed haunted instead of having a living inhabitant that is unlikely to help either since the woman lives. Finding the woman would probably be more useful but much harder. (If she didn't get disappeared into some lab.) Well guess checking is low effort so no reason to not do it. (And yeah I know there will probably something or rather someone but that is because it is a story.)

And bully girl interrupts though she calls herself Rei's friend probably some older backstory connection? Rei acts all compliant for some reason. Anyway character sounds like it will be annoying. -- Ah yeah ex friends + sudden change.

Time to go to the burnt building. Also squeezing Verde's hand tighter? I thought Ella's hand was on Verde's shoulder?

Verde makes appropriate comments about MCs vague feelings about the building though of course MC really has flame powers. So she burning hands the door but the door doesn't care because it is metal. Clear waste of a spell slot. And she spooks herself and abandons the first exploration attempt at the door. Sadly her friends aren't very observant.

But other eyes observed Dun Dun Dun. Wonder whether it is another love interest. Hiding in the darkness in a ruin? Probably someone on the run maybe from some sinister ONY research project or something, likely to be an early source of exposition. Now standard tropes dictate that MC comes back alone at some point so that their meeting can be solo, though on the other hand little reason to not invite the others along again and they are probably meant to be involved as trio.

Nearing the end of the sample, should end early in chapter 3
Talk about heater repair, important info: ONY makes their stuff so others can't repair it anymore. Though replain people disappearing must be fairly recent if teens remember them. So not a very long established market domination. Anyway as minor as that is it increases the chance of the company being an antagonist.

The miss stuff is indeed weird reminds me of some awkward manga translations. So her origin is a japan expy.

And the guy lives in the area apparently, apparently because of work maybe his parents are hunting blue eyes.^^

And done with the sample

Seems okay YA UF but couldn't make me interested enough to buy it. I might read the thread anyway though.

[Lord Raziere]

Yeah, the general idea is that it is the intensity, that determination, that fuels Rei. Whether it goes good or not depends on her own ability to control it, and intentionally invoking that feeling leads to it being more controllable... for the most part, as she demonstrated.

Not to bog the thread down too much with author comments, but this is part of why I feel like fire is a compelling "power" for a protagonist to have. It's very evocative in both literal and metatextual ways, and if you can find a way to handle the fact that Fire Dangerous, you can do some really good things with it. Like say, with Avatar, and the fact that I'm being mentioned in the same breath as that show has me swimming, as an aside.


What I find refreshing is that unlike most characters with fire, this is a new problem for Rei, most characters with this kind of power like say Roy Mustang, Harry Dresden or even Zuko this kind of thing is technically a problem for them but they're all experienced fire users in some way so we never seem them screw up like this, while Aang has the luxury of waiting and trying other elements before tackling arguably hardest most dangerous one for real. Rei however doesn't have the benefit of already being an experienced badass or training from a wise old man , in a world where combat is more lethal and dangerous than Avatar (We almost never see anyone die horribly in Avatar if ever, FMA has its moments, while Harry Dresden is the kind of universe where evil wizards kill people by exploding your heart from their mansion and the good wizards kill you by pulling a gun and shooting you in the head for being an untrained magic user)

....oh god, if this was Dresdenverse, this would be exactly the kind of situation the White Council would use to justify killing someone like Rei for violating the First Law. She's practically a poster child for a young dangerous magic user who doesn't know what they're doing.

[The Fury]

A read along hmm I shall give the reading sample a try to see whether I will follow along. Anyway this will probably be a rambley stream of consciousness mess since I will comment while reading.


Some fire symbol foreshadowing in a dream sequence paragraph, fitting the book name I suppose.

Never heard purity knot in relation to hair, no idea how to picture it, but I don't picture characters much anyway so it isn't important.

She is close to being late apparently (well depending on the distance), didn't she wake up at a planned time what with the alarm waking here? Is the implication that she just set it so she has little time or that she spent longer laying in bed afterwards than I thought? Also sounds like she skipped brushing teeth tsk-tsk.

Sounds like she lives somewhere suburban and there will be winter soon, hmm wonder whether Halloween will come up, though I don't know if the setting has Halloween.

I hope ONY isn't a play on Oni that would be silly, but there are only so many 3 letter combos some are bound to sound like something.

"It's probably not prom" I know it is supposed to show she can be scatterbrained or something like that but that sounds a bit too silly imo. Also allusion to some burn marks incident that will be relevant later.

Is getting transfer students something you get warned about before? Never had any in my school so no idea. Anyway friend A acquired. Though I dunno why she think it is important that Rei remembers this. I guess in a small town transfer students might promise to be something interesting?

Girl transfer student runs around with a parasol indoors and gets a description of decent length so she will be relevant, not that being one of two first chapter transfer students didn't make that quite likely anyway.

Boy transfer student... Oh dear overblown reaction to hot guys is rarely a good sign in urban fantasy. Especially when it is to the degree of short circuiting the MCs brain since she had to be jabbed to notice the teacher speaking with her. (Well unless the hot guy is an incubus and the main character is in danger of dying, that is okay. )

Also MCs last name is revealed when pairing choosing her to be the class representative for Boy transfer which I presume means she shows him around and stuff. Anyway "Scios" sounds unusual as a name, hmm google just says it is the future form of scii (to know) no interesting connection immediately apparent so I shall assume it isn't some meaningful name. Talking about names Rei sounds japanese, though Aria doesn't (unless the grandparents are into the anime).

Anyway back to the transfer student. "what she imagined ice would sound like if it had a mouth" that line is slightly painful. Anyway she is nervous and science seems to be a practical class if she has the chance to make explosions, though it isn't shown so not quite sure.

Friend A conveniently was paired with Girl transfer so they all meet to eat. And she thinks about why she is reacting so strongly, so maybe some hope for the murderous incubus option.^^ Girl Transfer is too long so I suppose I should start using their names, Ella and Kestrel. Ella is a big eater, Kestrel isn't. And Ella can apparently tell where everyone is from, an neat trick I suppose.

And gives love fortunes via palm reading. Probably some real powers since it triggers some violent interaction. Though some allusion to infatuation so maybe the same would happen if Kestrel touched her hands, who knows. (Since she isn't losing her mind over Ella but is over Kestrel the attraction is likely to be irrelevant unless we get lucky with the murderous Incubus thing. Lust on first glance tends to take precedence.) MC sees some fire but nobody else notices so she drops the topic.

They bug Kestrel about being quiet (which is an annoying way to get somebody that is being quiet involved imo. Just ask questions without bringing up that they don't participate enough, at least if you barely know them.) He establishes that he has secrets that require working out and ONY comes up again. Transfer boys family works there so it is likely important. And the constant moving his family does might be too.

"shouts of concern" about opening an umbrella, unless that mean she opened it in someones face that seems a bit dramatic. Anyway its inside depicts some story with foxes and snakes about how look can be deceiving which she notes isn't all that interesting. Relatively high chance of it being relevant to something, but possible it is just supposed to establish something about her character. Decent chance of her having some secret too. Also the guy knows a similar story.

Seems the fortune incident left black traces, wonder why she didn't show that to the other when bringing up the flame. Also doesn't something have to get burned to produce soot? Not sure.

Temporary verdict: Reads like a pretty standard YA urban fantasy opening, though with the MC reacting strongly to the hot boy it has traces of paranormal romance. Nothing has caught my interest but it is readable.



Warning, traces of high school drama detected! "They were cruel, twisted girls who played at being haughty rich kids." High-schooler bully drama tends to be boring especially in a fantasy setting where there are usually more interesting supernatural threat so I hope there isn't much of it but that they apparently bullied MC is a bad sign.

Internet articles about the president of ONY founding an underground think tank to study psychic powers. Probably true or simili though that would mean they are kinda bad at hiding if sketchy websites know. And Rei is into the sort of stories apparently. Ah and there is the burn mark incident, so fire magic I guess but she doesn't know how to use it deliberately. Which leads to the question if in the setting powers only awaken when older. Probably, children with spontanous powers gets messy. And now she presents the mark but Friend A is unimpressed. But the plot hook of a self immolating dancer and a burnt out club is added.

And noises + supposedly haunted! But you know they could write that story about any built out building, finding that it is indeed burnt doesn't tell her much and it is not like she can reconstruct the scene from old traces. And if it is indeed haunted instead of having a living inhabitant that is unlikely to help either since the woman lives. Finding the woman would probably be more useful but much harder. (If she didn't get disappeared into some lab.) Well guess checking is low effort so no reason to not do it. (And yeah I know there will probably something or rather someone but that is because it is a story.)

And bully girl interrupts though she calls herself Rei's friend probably some older backstory connection? Rei acts all compliant for some reason. Anyway character sounds like it will be annoying. -- Ah yeah ex friends + sudden change.

Time to go to the burnt building. Also squeezing Verde's hand tighter? I thought Ella's hand was on Verde's shoulder?

Verde makes appropriate comments about MCs vague feelings about the building though of course MC really has flame powers. So she burning hands the door but the door doesn't care because it is metal. Clear waste of a spell slot. And she spooks herself and abandons the first exploration attempt at the door. Sadly her friends aren't very observant.

But other eyes observed Dun Dun Dun. Wonder whether it is another love interest. Hiding in the darkness in a ruin? Probably someone on the run maybe from some sinister ONY research project or something, likely to be an early source of exposition. Now standard tropes dictate that MC comes back alone at some point so that their meeting can be solo, though on the other hand little reason to not invite the others along again and they are probably meant to be involved as trio.

Nearing the end of the sample, should end early in chapter 3
Talk about heater repair, important info: ONY makes their stuff so others can't repair it anymore. Though replain people disappearing must be fairly recent if teens remember them. So not a very long established market domination. Anyway as minor as that is it increases the chance of the company being an antagonist.

The miss stuff is indeed weird reminds me of some awkward manga translations. So her origin is a japan expy.

And the guy lives in the area apparently, apparently because of work maybe his parents are hunting blue eyes.^^

And done with the sample

Seems okay YA UF but couldn't make me interested enough to buy it. I might read the thread anyway though.

Hello, and welcome to the thread. I guess if you don't mind reading spoilers, feel free to join in the discussion. I will say that I try to give as detailed chapter recaps as I can, but I leave a lot out for the sake of brevity.

I didn't focus on the "purity knot" in my own Chapter One Recap. I don't know what that it either, but it was a small enough detail that I decided not to comment. It actually took me getting to later chapters to wonder if ONY was a play on "oni." I actually got to ask the author about it. I can safely say... it's probably not. I'll admit that it would be a little silly if it were true, but I like silly.

On the topic of character names... "Rei" does sound Japanese Kaigan. Verde even comments that Rei's name sounds "all foreign" and likely is Kaigan in origin. While "Aria" doesn't sound Kaigan, (Rei's other parent doesn't have a Kaigan name either,) it's possible that maybe one or more of Rei's grandparents is from there.

I will say that some character names are more on the nose than others. For example, "Verde" means "green" and she has a green sweater that she wears all the time. There's another reason the color green comes up for her a lot, but it's getting a little ahead of ourselves. Ella's last name is later revealed to be "Umbra" and she always has an umbrella with her. I personally think it's a cute detail.

As for Kestrel's overblown description... What can I say? I was a teenager once, I had crushes during that time. So in a sense it felt kind of true to life for me. Romance does feature in the story, I will say, but not as prominently as you might think.

I think ONY is playing their hand a little carefully. If someone running a sketchy website figures out what you're doing and reports on it, shutting them down sort of lends credibility to what they're saying. Allowing them to continue without comment sort of shows that what they're saying is beneath concern and allows the public to dismiss them as some random crank. In the fiction itself, it appears that is exactly what happens.

The bully girl, Chloe was something I sort of glossed over in my own recap. At the time, I didn't find her very interesting. Kind of annoying but not really legitimately threatening. I ended up altering my opinion of her following later appearances.

Rei appearing on the cover and in promotional artwork using fire powers kind of makes it obvious that she has them. As they're awakening in these early chapters, there's some plausible deniability to them though.

I have a serious blind spot for tropes. I have a really poor sense of when they're being used and usually don't know what to expect. If genre tropes indicated that the eyes in the dark belonged to a future love interest, I totally missed the mark. I thought Blue Eyes was going to be an antagonist. In any case, I thought he seemed like a more interesting antagonist than Chloe would be at any rate. I won't get into which of us is correct here, but you can read some of my other chapter recaps if you're really curious.

Not much to say about this chapter since it's only the first little bit. Funnily enough, my brain went on a bit of tangent about Verde's space heater. An electric heater is made pretty much just by running a current through a conductor until it gets hot. there might be a circuit-breaker or resistors involved to keep it from burning itself out but it's usually pretty simple.

I don't think the text is saying that repair people went away, I think it might be that they don't quite understand what repair people do. The shops that repair appliances are still around, they just can't repair the heater. It might be that they just replace worn out components with working ones. Maybe they send in broken units to be rebuilt or scrapped and replacing the broken one. Maybe Verde's tinkering invalidated the warranty.

Ella isn't Kaigan, though her mother is. Which is the reason why her dialogue tends to be so formal.

I thought it was kind of funny that Kestrel lives near Gold Row, the sketchy part of town, as well.



What I find refreshing is that unlike most characters with fire, this is a new problem for Rei, most characters with this kind of power like say Roy Mustang, Harry Dresden or even Zuko this kind of thing is technically a problem for them but they're all experienced fire users in some way so we never seem them screw up like this, while Aang has the luxury of waiting and trying other elements before tackling arguably hardest most dangerous one for real. Rei however doesn't have the benefit of already being an experienced badass or training from a wise old man , in a world where combat is more lethal and dangerous than Avatar (We almost never see anyone die horribly in Avatar if ever, FMA has its moments, while Harry Dresden is the kind of universe where evil wizards kill people by exploding your heart from their mansion and the good wizards kill you by pulling a gun and shooting you in the head for being an untrained magic user)

....oh god, if this was Dresdenverse, this would be exactly the kind of situation the White Council would use to justify killing someone like Rei for violating the First Law. She's practically a poster child for a young dangerous magic user who doesn't know what they're doing.


I can't comment on the Dresden Files since I've never read them. (Fun fact, last time I brought that up I was accused of feigning ignorance to avoid being wrong!)

I think the involuntary aspect is another thing that makes pyromancy a unique challenge. How does Rei not use fire when she doesn't want to? That's a problem that Roy Mustang, Zuko and I assume Harry Dresden never had to deal with.

I'll write up something for Chapter Sixteen later today, might be a bit though.

[Rater202]

Well, I've made the commitment to actually pick up and read the book.

It might be a bit before I actually read it becuase I'm also going to try and pick up Peace Talks, but...

Honestly, Zodi, you and I like most of the same things even if we interpret them differently, so I imagine I'm going to like what you wrote.

[Ibrinar]

Hello, and welcome to the thread. I guess if you don't mind reading spoilers, feel free to join in the discussion. I will say that I try to give as detailed chapter recaps as I can, but I leave a lot out for the sake of brevity.


I think ONY is playing their hand a little carefully. If someone running a sketchy website figures out what you're doing and reports on it, shutting them down sort of lends credibility to what they're saying. Allowing them to continue without comment sort of shows that what they're saying is beneath concern and allows the public to dismiss them as some random crank. In the fiction itself, it appears that is exactly what happens.

The bully girl, Chloe was something I sort of glossed over in my own recap. At the time, I didn't find her very interesting. Kind of annoying but not really legitimately threatening. I ended up altering my opinion of her following later appearances.

Rei appearing on the cover and in promotional artwork using fire powers kind of makes it obvious that she has them. As they're awakening in these early chapters, there's some plausible deniability to them though.

I have a serious blind spot for tropes. I have a really poor sense of when they're being used and usually don't know what to expect. If genre tropes indicated that the eyes in the dark belonged to a future love interest, I totally missed the mark. I thought Blue Eyes was going to be an antagonist. In any case, I thought he seemed like a more interesting antagonist than Chloe would be at any rate. I won't get into which of us is correct here, but you can read some of my other chapter recaps if you're really curious.

Nah nothing that specific trope wise, why I mentioned the possibility is: Since I expect the eyes to not be an antagonist that makes them a mysterious stranger, mysterious stranger are prime love interest materials and it is relatively common to have two love interest in urban fantasy with romance. That and an eye color was specified, that doesn't mean much but I tend to judge the love interest chance higher when physical attributes are described that don't really need to be described in the scene. Nothing conclusive obviously just idle speculation.


Not much to say about this chapter since it's only the first little bit. Funnily enough, my brain went on a bit of tangent about Verde's space heater. An electric heater is made pretty much just by running a current through a conductor until it gets hot. there might be a circuit-breaker or resistors involved to keep it from burning itself out but it's usually pretty simple.

I don't think the text is saying that repair people went away, I think it might be that they don't quite understand what repair people do. The shops that repair appliances are still around, they just can't repair the heater. It might be that they just replace worn out components with working ones. Maybe they send in broken units to be rebuilt or scrapped and replacing the broken one. Maybe Verde's tinkering invalidated the warranty.

Ella isn't Kaigan, though her mother is. Which is the reason why her dialogue tends to be so formal.

I thought it was kind of funny that Kestrel lives near Gold Row, the sketchy part of town, as well.


Yeah reading the sentence again the were was not meant to indicate they aren't there anymore

[The Fury]

There comes a time in the life of every forumite... When they must read a Chapter Sixteen. My time has come.

Our chapter opens with Rei visiting her late father's grave. It's cold, it's snowy, she forgot to bring a jacket but thanks to her pyromancy she's not freezing. It's been determined that Samson died before Rei really had a chance to know him. In fact, it's revealed here that he died the day that Rei was born. I feel like a lot of people talk to grave markers of dead loved ones, Rei's no different here. Though in her case, she really has no idea of how her father might respond to what she's saying. She's painfully aware of this and decidedly put out by it. She tells her father about everything that happened over the last week. Crushing on Kestrel, making friends with Ella, discovering that she's a pyromancer and burning someone alive. Usual teenage girl stuff. Which leads into something that Rei doesn't want to do but feels like she must-- visit Chloe in the hospital. On that somber note, Rei says goodbye to her father's grave marker and heads off to the hospital.

If I can get a little personal for a moment-- I'm afraid of hospitals. I just have too many bad associations with them to ever be comfortable in one, near one or thinking about one. It might not seem relevant, I know. But I feel like I should provide that context because the part where Rei visits Chloe was hard for me to read.

Rei doesn't like hospitals either and has to wait a bit to find out if Chloe even wants visitors. As it turns out, she does. Chloe is in a sparse plain white room. No flowers, no "get well" card. Not even one of those cheesy Mylar balloons shaped like a teddy bear. She's made some effort to make herself look nice, but she's still missing quite a bit of her hair and face. About a third of Chloe's face is bandaged as well as her entire right arm. Chloe is surprised that Rei would come to see her. As it turns out she doesn't get many visitors. Her family did, but her other friends? Not so much. As has been discussed earlier, her other "friends" never really cared about Chloe as a person. They only seemed to like her for being rich and pretty. I guess having your face burned really goes to show who your friends really are.

Chloe is grateful for the company though. She didn't think Rei would come after she said what did, and after Chloe hit her. Rei promises to let Chloe in on her friend group with Verde and Ella, even saying that it'll be like old times when she and Chloe were still good friends. In her own mind, she acknowledges that it's a lie. Verde and Ella might not accept Chloe since she was kind of mean, and as for it being like old times... Rei still remembers Chloe screaming as she was on fire. That memory is going to haunt Rei for a good long while. But she will try.

Chloe makes it a point to demand a rematch. She will beat Rei at Knights of the Stars! Believe it! It's sort of hammy and a bit shounen anime, sure. But it's also clear that Chloe is suffering and talking about her rivalry with Rei is helping her cope. Speaking of things that are hammy, the nurse brings in sandwiches for Chloe's lunch.

We get some explanation from Chloe as well. Some very tearful explanation. Chloe never fully accepted that her friendship with Rei had ended because it was just too painful of a thing to admit to herself. This is even despite the fact that she'd been rather nasty to Rei for years now, now all the guilt she's been feeling over this comes flooding out of her. In the moment Chloe feels like she got exactly what she deserved. Rei gets a little teary as well, and forgives Chloe... which has to be a weird experience since Rei feels so much guilt over what happened to Chloe, but it probably felt like the right thing to do. Indeed, it means a lot to Chloe that she did.

As for what happened to break up their friendship... Yeah, we get an explanation for that too.

Rei and Chloe were playing a video game together and Chloe told Rei that there was a boy in class that she liked. Rei had said that Chloe isn't allowed to like him, "Because I like you." Chloe tried to explain the difference, only to learn that there actually wasn't one. Rei was romantically interested in Chloe. Chloe said it was "gross" for them to like each other that way and the two got into a shouting match that ended with Chloe pushing Rei over. Chloe's parents made the choice to end the friendship and introduce her to Heather and the mean girl squad. Chloe played the part too. Just to fit in. Rei had been broken up about what happened, but got better after meeting Verde.

Rei offers Chloe a chance to start over. She clarifies to be friends, not romantic partners, getting a little flustered. Thankfully, no fire happens. Speaking of fire, Rei apologizes for hurting Chloe too. Chloe doesn't quite get what she means, even commenting that Rei did what she could to get the fire under control.

Now, it's pretty clear that Chloe is traumatized by what happened to her. Rei acknowledges to herself that Chloe deserves to know why it happened and that she's a pyromancer. She doesn't tell her though, she just can't bring herself to do it. All she can do is promise that something like this will never happen to Chloe ever again.

Despite what Rei chose not to say, the experience has left Chloe able to smile through the pain. We close on Chloe wishing Rei a happy early birthday and Rei saying that she'll miss seeing Chloe at the party. An odd determination comes over Chloe. In her mind, she knows what she really wants now.

Now, we've mentioned a few times that neither Chloe nor Rei is happy about their falling out. Rei's more or less moved on and made new friends but Chloe hasn't. It's not been clear whether Chloe's interest in Rei is platonic or romantic, but the way this chapter closes, I feel like it's probably the latter. Maybe it will even go somewhere? Rei did feel the same way at one point in her life after all.

Next time will be a clean Chapter Seventeen!

[LaZodiac]

Since it has come up a fair bit, I'll note that this is what a purity knot is (https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSAOw7qMIrnph_PwqCLlknBfm1Kh5Flu r2R5ZwjyPv89HyrfJCI&s). It's a specific sort of braided ponytail type thing, to help control longer hair (https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5d/be/c4/5dbec431bb5ce8d3b964619669c909f3.png). I've always heard them called purity knots.


Well, I've made the commitment to actually pick up and read the book.

It might be a bit before I actually read it becuase I'm also going to try and pick up Peace Talks, but...

Honestly, Zodi, you and I like most of the same things even if we interpret them differently, so I imagine I'm going to like what you wrote.

Aww, I hope you enjoy Rater!

Also, concerning Chapter 16...

A fun point on Rei trying to clarify a platonic relationship or romantic; the exact phrasing is Rei noting that she wants to start over, that she wants to give it another shot. Chloe reads this as "she wants to confess her love again" and says she's "not ready for that yet", which shows she's open but not 100% at the point where she'd want that... which as we can see in the end of the chapter bit from Chloe's perspective, is probably because she's in the hospital, since she knows what she wants now- she's just not ready yet. Also Rei is like "ah I meant start over our friendship" and notes that she wouldn't mind it being romantic, and gets all flustered and cute about it.

[Rater202]

Rei's father dying the day she was born?

Yeah, uh...

There's no subtle way to call that out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5EmpGOKB4A

As for Rei and Chloe... Yeah, if they don't end up together by the end of the series it'll be becuase Chloe finds out that Rei burned her in the worst possible way.

[DataNinja]

As for Rei and Chloe... Yeah, if they don't end up together by the end of the series it'll be becuase Chloe finds out that Rei burned her in the worst possible way.
Pshhhh, what are the odds that that would ever happen at a dramatically inconvenient moment? :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

I'm about to dive into a Chapter Seventeen. Come with me?

As Rei leaves the hospital, she's replaying the conversation that she had with Chloe over in her head. Mostly focusing on what she had told Chloe when they were both younger-- that she loved her. Rei has had crushes before. Of course, most teenagers have. Though she's not acted on any except Kestrel... and I guess Chloe. While she's feeling overwhelmed, she decides to take things slow. Go on the date with Kestrel, see how it goes, see how deep her feelings run and decide from there. OK... y'know as YA protagonists go, that's weirdly mature. Are you sure you don't want to have an agonizing, long, drawn-out love triangle, Rei?

Rei encounters Kestrel out jogging. Because of course he's out jogging. He's always jogging. Kestrel comments that Rei must be freezing. She's wearing a t-shirt and she forgot to bring a jacket, and it's snowing. Rei is using her pyromancy to keep herself from freezing, not that she says so. She still feels kind of chilly. At any rate Kestel invites her into a restaurant with him. Date time. It's happening, people!

Rei's opening line of, "Tell me about yourself" isn't quite as ridiculous as Rei seems to think it is as she's grasping for something to say. Indeed, we don't know much about Kestrel at all. There's a few details I'd like to call attention to though. Mostly related to the faux-fine dining atmosphere of this restaurant. Everything is meant to look fancy, but is all cheap and mass-produced. Classical music is being played on loop, the seats are upholstered but uncomfortable. Not only that, the place makes Rei feel grimy. There's a point to this, I think. Not just "This restaurant sucks," but I'll come back to this.

For now, after Rei presses the issue, she does want to actually know Kestrel, he relents and tells her a bit about what things were like at home in Trestaria. He tells Rei about a friend that he had in Trestaria named Kite. They'd both chase animals in the desert, foxes mostly. They'd catch them take their picture and let them go. Kite was better at it than Kestrel, he got hurt a lot more doing it though. It came down to the differences in their methods. Kite would track and hound them, Kestrel would find their den and wait. The last time they did it though, there was a fox with black fur, something rare, that they both tried to catch for an hour. Kestrel even tried doing it Kite's way and almost caught the black fox. In the end, Kite and Kestrel argued and the black fox got away.

...I'll come back to that.

As for the rest of the date, their burgers with fries arrive, because this is a fancy restaurant. Kestrel does admit to missing the heat from living in the desert. Dulace, during winter is bitterly cold. Indeed it's getting cold enough to even get to Rei, who's actually used to cold. Kestel offers Rei his hoodie, which she declines. Quietly though, she'd love to wear it. The evening's romance is interrupted by Kestrel getting a text. Note that his text alert is the ONY jingle... I guess he never got around to changing the default settings on his phone. Makes sense, he's a pragmatic guy if a little bland. Apparently his parents need help moving the last of the furniture. Rei offers to help, but Kestrel is insistent that she doesn't come. Saying that they can pick this up again in an hour. Kestrel's weird. He does suggest ending the evening by going home and getting warm together... Which, yeah. OK. I can see why Rei might be into the idea.

After Kestrel leaves, Rei takes a moment to imagine getting warm and snuggly with Kestrel then immediately remember's Gamma. Gamma... the guy that lives in a burnt out shell of a building? The guy that doesn't own a shirt? And it's cold and snowing? Anyway, Rei springs into action.

Rei goes to see Gamma after stopping to buy some warmer clothes for him. Including a white sweatshirt, which Gamma does not approve of and burns in his campfire. Too bad. He could have done a really great L from Deathnote cosplay. Apparently shirts don't offer enough protection for the freedom of movement they compromise. Can't fight like that, see? ...If you say so, buddy. I wonder if that's true for tanktops as well? He does end up liking the cool faux-leather jacket Rei brought though. Rei takes a moment to ask Gamma something... mancer to mancer. Rei still feels a lot of guilt over hurting Chloe, she asks Gamma if he's ever felt that way. In short, no. Gamma says that everyone he's killed deserved it.

Gamma seems to sense that he's made Rei uncomfortable, and changes the subject. He asks what a date is, since she apparently went on one with Kestrel. Gamma has a dim idea of how love is supposed to work. One of his handlers, maybe Dr. Carter, talked about her family. He picked up on the term from "love" from her.

Gamma's a little curious about Kestrel too, and even gets Rei to give a brief description of him. Gamma even wants to meet him, which Rei considers. In the meantime, it's time to pick up her date with Kestrel where it left off.

As Rei is walking down Gold Row, enjoying the sensation of being in love, she meets up with Kestrel. He admits that he wasn't honest with her. He didn't leave to move furniture, he left because his parents found a thing he wanted to give her-- an old necklace that his father gave to his mother. He wanted it to be a surprise. Happy Birthday, Rei. Rei is speechless, because hey... that's romantic as hell. As she reaches for the gift it darts out of Kestrel's hand up into the sky. Rei watches it happen, understandably confused. Our chapter ends with Rei looking back at Kestrel to see his hands going for her neck.

Now, the biggest reveal is Kestrel being an actual antagonist. This doesn't come out of nowhere either. I've been suspicious of him as a character for a while now, to the point of my most generous read of him was probably a misunderstood bad boy. I guess that can be ruled out at this point. I think we can rule out Kestrel's interest in Rei as anything romantic as well. If anything, the romance side of it shows that Kestrel is actually pretty cunning as an antagonist. While it holds no appeal for him, it holds great appeal for Rei and he was able to use it to manipulate her.

I can't help but think that the faux-fancy restaurant is symbolic foreshadowing. This restaurant is like Kestrel, on the surface there is a pleasant veneer but a closer look reveals that it's only there to hide a certain scumminess. There's an implication that's dropped here and is confirmed very early in the next chapter, so I'll leave it at that. All I'll say for now is that it casts Kestrel's story about chasing foxes in the desert in a much more sinister light.

Next time is Chapter Greenbean... I mean, Chapter Eighteen. Sorry, I mispoke. And typed it. And didn't edit it...

[Rater202]

A necklace that his father gave his mother, that turns out to be a distraction for an attack...

I can't help but admit that m thought went to a dark place involving a group of monster/witch hunters who are trying to breed Mancies into their bloodline whether the Mancers they've picked want to or not.

[Lord Raziere]

I've nothing to say other than that this sealed the ReixChloe ship as something that will happen for me




For now, after Rei presses the issue, she does want to actually know Kestrel, he relents and tells her a bit about what things were like at home in Trestaria. He tells Rei about a friend that he had in Trestaria named Kite. They'd both chase animals in the desert, foxes mostly. They'd catch them take their picture and let them go. Kite was better at it than Kestrel, he got hurt a lot more doing it though. It came down to the differences in their methods. Kite would track and hound them, Kestrel would find their den and wait. The last time they did it though, there was a fox with black fur, something rare, that they both tried to catch for an hour. Kestrel even tried doing it Kite's way and almost caught the black fox. In the end, Kite and Kestrel argued and the black fox got away.
You should indeed come back to this when your done with the novel. its real meaning isn't obvious at first glance.

and yeah, I didn't pick up on Kestrel being an antagonist until this chapter. I was half convinced that he was an actual good guy but the romance was being played up as false so that the real antagonist would come in, kill him and make Rei feel sad for what will never have been, because to me everything about the Kestrel romance was Rei fantasizing about it and building it up in her head, so part of me was like "I see what Zodi is doing, she is building up Kestrel too much, something bad is going to happen to him, either he dies or turns out too good to be true." and but I was convinced that maybe Zodi was going to reveal he was a good guy all along but just was going to die or something and that the faux restaurant was just to parody romances or something, and that my own shipper goggles was making me hate him, but it turns out he is really a bad dude, I just didn't expect him to attack Rei outright.

[DataNinja]

Things were... a lot less obvious in the Beta drafts for a while (no Kestrel/Chloe scene, for instance), so my thoughts on Kestrel up until this point were "oh, he does training? And is evasive about it? Well, I see, he's probably going to be the gateway into the world of monster hunting and supernatural or whatever."

[LaZodiac]

Aah, the reveal.

My favorite aspect of this, I think, is that in an earlier draft, Kestrel was a bad guy but his details as to HOW he is the bad guy were different. This draft was the draft before I rewrote from the ground up after sending it to an editor.

And as that same editor read the new version, she was still taken by surprise by the trick that is Kestrel's faux love interest nature. I somehow managed to pull the wool over the eyes of someone WHO KNEW ALREADY.

That's just fun, to me.

Also, regarding Gamma's clothing stuff, a thing that should be noted perhaps; when talking about how restraining shirts are, Gamma's hands twitch a bit... and Rei isn't sure if Gamma is aware of the twitching himself. Just some sad signs of trauma for the poor lad.

[The Fury]

I've nothing to say other than that this sealed the ReixChloe ship as something that will happen for me


My thought on the Rei/Chloe ship for a while was that there's probably something still there. The relationship that they had, which ended was something real and neither were happy about the falling out. The only sticking point for me was what's the nature of the relationship? Is it platonic or romantic? In almost any other YA adventure story I would default to assuming the latter, no question. This time though? There's already a character that is canonically and out as ace and seemingly not interested in romance. Most YA, I feel values romantic relationships to the point of undervaluing other types of love. Ella existing as herself suggests that Cursed World will go differently. And it's at least worth considering whether characters that love one another love each other romantically or otherwise.

That said, yeah. I think we can safely say that Rei/Chloe is more romantic than not.




You should indeed come back to this when your done with the novel. its real meaning isn't obvious at first glance.

and yeah, I didn't pick up on Kestrel being an antagonist until this chapter. I was half convinced that he was an actual good guy but the romance was being played up as false so that the real antagonist would come in, kill him and make Rei feel sad for what will never have been, because to me everything about the Kestrel romance was Rei fantasizing about it and building it up in her head, so part of me was like "I see what Zodi is doing, she is building up Kestrel too much, something bad is going to happen to him, either he dies or turns out too good to be true." and but I was convinced that maybe Zodi was going to reveal he was a good guy all along but just was going to die or something and that the faux restaurant was just to parody romances or something, and that my own shipper goggles was making me hate him, but it turns out he is really a bad dude, I just didn't expect him to attack Rei outright.


I've read pretty far ahead, and I'm not sure what you mean exactly. If I miss it feel free to jump in and set the record straight. But like I said, the desert fox story does get recontextualized as sinister pretty early in the next chapter. Maybe some of you have already guessed what the reveal is, but I think I'll leave it alone for now.

As for Kestrel... for me there were hints that he's not such a nice guy that started to pile up. It's not a secret that in my reading, I've been suspicious of Kestrel for a while. Enough that I'd be kind of slow to trust him. Just to recap...

He doesn't say much about himself, and what he does say seems suspect. OK, weird. But maybe there's an explanation.

He not only likes fighting, he seems to like hurting people... OK, maybe he has some backstory element that explains this?

He's cold to Rei, but maybe he's just shy or clueless?

Then there's his interaction with Chloe... He has no problem confronting Chloe, so he's probably not shy. He's aware of Rei's feelings so he's not clueless. He's interested in Rei, but doesn't care about how she feels... OK, maybe he's a misunderstood bad boy? Maybe he can turn over a new leaf?

He attacks Rei. Nope. Antagonist.

[Mith]

I'll be honest, Kestrel's antagonist role didn't surprise me, but then again, I am very cynical, and suspected he was likely murder-y from the beginning, simply because the "romance" was so one sided. If Kestrel had put in the time to actively interact with Rei outside of "chance" meetings, that probably would have lowered suspicions.

[Rater202]

The black fox turns out to be a metaphor for a certain shadow user, doesn't it?

[The Fury]

It's a Chapter 18! Here we go!

Not only is Kestrel an antagonist, he's actually the antagonist. Kestrel is the ferromancer. The one that's after Gamma, the one that killed that cop from earlier. Gamma would know, and he's the one that shouts it at Rei as he comes to her rescue.

As Rater deduced, his story about chasing a black fox was actually about chasing Gamma, and suggests some unnerving things about Kestrel's personality. Kite might pursue a target relentlessly, Kestrel though? I gather what he tried with Rei is closer to his typical MO. He says that he prefers to find the fox's den. Since we can gather that he isn't talking about foxes at all, he prefers to get close to his targets, earn their trust and catch them unawares. This is his reason for enrolling in Rei's school, I would think. It's lucky for Kestrel that Rei found him handsome. Otherwise manipulating her could have gone differently. In any case, this seems to be just what Kestrel does. Pursues and apprehends targets for ONY.

Gamma is there, luckily. since he attacks with his shadows as Rei ducks out of Kestrel's grasp. Kestrel uses his ferromancy to pull some iron plumbing out of a building, but he's not out to bludgeon someone with a pipe this time. He uses his power to shape a pipe into a sort of saber. he even manages to get a shallow cut on Rei with it. Rei gets her fire out and even singes him a little. She's all set to fire-punch this clown too. Even if she is understandably scared. Unfortunately, despite her pyromancy, Rei is still a fairly normal teenager with some rusty boxing skills she learned at the Y. Kestrel meanwhile, is an experienced fighter and ONY operative. Rei very nearly gets stabbed by Kestrel's saber for her trouble. But Kestrel seems to have forgotten about Gamma. Gamma gets between Rei and Kestrel and run through by the saber. Gamma's shadows have Kestrel entangled and Gamma tells Rei to grab the blade. Rei does so and uses her pyromancy to heat the metal of the sword, forcing Kestrel to let go. Gamma takes this moment to tear Kestrel's arm off at the elbow... a little like ripping a drumstick off a roast chicken, except way bloodier. Speaking of, since Kestrel can weaponize someone else's blood against them can he do the same with his own blood? Yes. Yes, he can. Kestrel uses his ferromancy to make spikes out of his own blood and stab Gamma with them. This is enough time for him to pull out some kind of smoke grenade and do a ninja-vanish.

Now it's just Rei and a seriously wounded Gamma. The hospital is too far for them to make it, but they can make it to Rei's house. Aria, Verde and Ella are all there. They almost manage to get shout "Surprise!" but quickly start screaming. Rei is partially panicked and gets out what could almost be described as an explanation. Happy Birthday, Rei.

Aria luckily seems to know what to do, even if the others don't. Ella is even crying at this point. I'll note here that Aria makes it a point to not remove the sword or the blood spikes from Gamma's body, because yeah... that will make his already serious bleeding even worse. Aria also notes that Gamma's wounds should probably have already killed him. He's alive though. For now. Oddly enough Aria seems to have enough medical expertise to handle the situation with a household first aid kit. One that even Aria admits to herself is probably not enough for this, but she can probably still make it work. An unusual skill set for a work-from-home lawyer single mom.

When Rei comes to, there's still blood everywhere. Verde looks like she's been crying, Ella still is. There had been party decorations set up. Even though it ended up being an awful birthday party, it's the thought that counts. Gamma is nowhere to be seen, but apparently out of danger. Aria understandably wants to know what the what. Rei explains that Kestrel tried to kill her and Gamma saved her. After everyone's had a chance to steady their nerves, Aria demands a more complete explanation.

Kestrel makes it back to his hideout. AKA, his "parents'" house. The ONY security officers that he brought with him are old enough to pass for his parents, but they aren't really. Rei had been Kestrel's target all along, but there was incomplete and inaccurate information in the dossier. The dossier never mentioned that Rei was a pyromancer but did mention fire-related incidents around her which could've been dismissed as clumsiness. Kestrel's apparently a guy with a temper too. The cop that he killed? Evidently he gave him the wrong address for Rei. That'll learn 'im. Though this does imply that ONY's reach is actually greater than previously thought. Either local law enforcement works for them or they're able to manipulate them into doing their dirty work.

In any case, the fact that Rei fared as well as she did is a sign that Kestrel has gotten sloppy. Or at least he thinks so. Gamma's involvement had been a complication. Kestrel's interest in him had been more to confirm the kill rather than capture. Kite had apparently bungled the situation. They had an argument over losing the black fox, remember? Presently, his "mother" and "father" are concerned about him because... well, his arm's missing. Kestrel dismisses it as a minor setback though. It really is too bad that he'll have to give up violin. For now he just call for a medic and stops short of venting his rage on his "parents." Also, it's time to release the mnemonic puppets.

Yeah, mnemonic puppets, they were mentioned in Gamma's flashback. It turns out that's what the Red Crystal puppets are called. Why are they called that? Now, it's been established earlier that the puppets uses blood to grow flesh on their bare bones. Possibly to form a disguise. But they can apparently pull memories within the blood and form a become a copy of someone that the blood remembers. Freaky. But we'll come back to this later since it's actually relevant. In this case, the puppets become copies of people that implied to be related to Kestrel, one of them even calls him "son." Kestrel sends the puppets out, they've seen Rei in the memories within Kestrel's blood, he orders them to capture Rei if possible. And to kill anyone who gets in the way. He also orders the ONY security detail to bring him every bit of iron they can find, presumably so he can make a new arm.

Aria hasn't learned much about what's happening, aside from that Gamma probably isn't dangerous. As everyone is asleep, Aria approaches Gamma who is still awake and demands an answer, "What have you told my daughter, shadowmancer?" While producing a white-hot flame in her hand. That's right, Aria is a pyromancer too.

Closing thoughts on this chapter-- This is not just a chapter for Kestrel, but also one for Aria. While the last chapter closed with Kestrel being outed as an antagonist, this one demonstrates that he really is a bad guy. Not only does he prefer to manipulate his targets but he has a lot of rage that he takes out on people around him. The only reason why he ever listened to Rei talk is because he was sifting through her speech for weaknesses to exploit. His internal thoughts seem to suggest that he doesn't have indifference to Rei, so much as he has contempt.

Aria not only knowing what a shadowmancer is in addition to being a pyromancer like her daughter deepens a mystery surrounding her. She also knows how to perform life-saving field surgery and remains cool in a situation where everyone else panics. I can't help but wonder if the skull mask that Rei found was meant to symbolically represent that Aria has skeletons in her closet.

The real question is of course, did anyone get to eat any of Rei's birthday cake?

When the traffic light turns green, it'll be time for Chapter Nineteen!

[Rater202]

I mean, aria knowing about powers in some way was pretty obvious, at least me.

So... If Kestral didn't know that Rei was a Pyromancer, why was he after her?

Is ONY just marking random people for kidnapping?

[DataNinja]

I mean, aria knowing about powers in some way was pretty obvious, at least me.

So... If Kestral didn't know that Rei was a Pyromancer, why was he after her?

Is ONY just marking random people for kidnapping?
I think they knew she was a -mancer, just not what kind. The potential was there, and that's why they wanted her.

[Lord Raziere]

And this is why I pointed out the pipe thing: pipes, while a common thing and a common tropey improvised weapon, aren't something you can just causally get off the street to use in a fight, because often they're being used to y'know, transport water and built within homes out of sight and tightly screwed in, you'd need tools to properly get one out and use it, so either it was a tropey shortcut to give Kestrel an advantage....or as it turns out, kestrel can use magic to get pipes without needing to bother, which makes more sense.

as for kestrel going for Rei but not knowing about her mancy: well, there is the fact that he is also chasing Gamma, and that she is in fact a good person to target to get close to him, so even if he didn't know she was a mancer, he somehow figured out that she was associated with Gamma somehow. keep in mind he was pretty meh towards her until that fight with the thugs, so I doubt he knew much about her ahead of time, I'd say him manipulating Rei was more of an opportunist thing than a planned ahead thing.

also Aria! she is a pyromancer, and my theory is that she is the one who burnt the club in the first place. I don't know, why but she is the only pyromancer known aside from Rei, and this clearly confirms that mancies are inherited through blood.

and yeah the puppets are creepy.

[LaZodiac]

Concerning today's chapter...

I will have more to say once we hit the end, or later chapters, but there will be explanation for what is going on. The full details are... kind of an arc question for Rei, and don't get 100% answered here. Do keep thinking of theories though, it is wonderful to see which of you get closest!

I can't promise I'll address every theory, or that I'll reveal ever plot detail that might have been missed or overlooked, but I'll do what I can. Because I really do love seeing people theorize and debate and analyze. Everything I've written and how I've written it is for a reason, and seeing people engage with it makes my heart soar!

[Mith]

And now we start to see why Aria is my favourite character (she was the "favourite character in the book introduced in Chapter 1")

[LaZodiac]

It was brought up a few times, and I only just now had a realization about it...

I never actually specifically made it clear in Initial Sparks that Aria is from Exova and Samson is Kaigan, and likewise never made it clear that Ella's mother is Kaigan and father is Exovan. So in english terms, they're both half-japanese half-german. It's one small thing I never really thought to make a note of it because it's something I know internally.

I'll be sure to have it come up in Hidden Embers. Also by the way I tweeted it but I've started writing Hidden Embers, book 2, now!

[Mith]

It was brought up a few times, and I only just now had a realization about it...

I never actually specifically made it clear in Initial Sparks that Aria is from Exova and Samson is Kaigan, and likewise never made it clear that Ella's mother is Kaigan and father is Exovan. So in english terms, they're both half-japanese half-german. It's one small thing I never really thought to make a note of it because it's something I know internally.

I'll be sure to have it come up in Hidden Embers. Also by the way I tweeted it but I've started writing Hidden Embers, book 2, now!

It probably works well to expand on that in book two anyways, since there is no clear "world map" that really pins those details down for the reader.

Which is fine, since this first book is the protagonists getting their first steps in the shallows before striking out to deeper waters.

[LaZodiac]

It probably works well to expand on that in book two anyways, since there is no clear "world map" that really pins those details down for the reader.

Which is fine, since this first book is the protagonists getting their first steps in the shallows before striking out to deeper waters.

I intend to rectify that "no world map" thing for Hidden Embers. I have a map made up but it's not completed and I kinda want to make it look more professional...

[DataNinja]

I intend to rectify that "no world map" thing for Hidden Embers. I have a map made up but it's not completed and I kinda want to make it look more professional...

"...uh, here there be dragons?" :smalltongue:

[Mith]

I intend to rectify that "no world map" thing for Hidden Embers. I have a map made up but it's not completed and I kinda want to make it look more professional...

To be absolutely clear, it isn't a criticism. It's me going "this problem is easily rectify with the general world expansion that is in Book 2." in a way that works really well in Watsonian terms.

[Lord Raziere]

To be absolutely clear, it isn't a criticism. It's me going "this problem is easily rectify with the general world expansion that is in Book 2." in a way that works really well in Watsonian terms.

Especially since you have someone like Gamma there to not know things so people can teach them to him, thats real convenient and important.

[LaZodiac]

To be absolutely clear, it isn't a criticism. It's me going "this problem is easily rectify with the general world expansion that is in Book 2." in a way that works really well in Watsonian terms.

I know, was just saying that I AM going to have a professional map done, I just need to find someone who is good at making maps, and commission them to make my map look cooler...

There will also be more world building in book 2, obviously. If it wasn't clear from the characters so far, Dulace is meant to be Canada/America-ish, more leaning on Canadian since... I mean, duh. Felis is euro-france, leaning more on the French aspect. Exova is German, but probably incorporates some other stuff from that area like Austria and Beleruse and stuff. Trestaria is meant to be Arabic-y but I'll be honest this chunk I just need to do more research on, I'm so bad at learning about these places. Kaiga is of course Japanese.


Especially since you have someone like Gamma there to not know things so people can teach them to him, thats real convenient and important.

This is true!

[DataNinja]

If it wasn't clear from the characters so far, Dulace is meant to be Canada/America-ish, more leaning on Canadian since... I mean, duh.

Whaaaaaat? You mean Canadian authors want to bring more Canadian pizazz and references into mainstream culture? I am in shock, young lady, at the sheer gall. :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

I mean, aria knowing about powers in some way was pretty obvious, at least me.

So... If Kestral didn't know that Rei was a Pyromancer, why was he after her?

Is ONY just marking random people for kidnapping?

My thought is that Kestrel isn't the sort of person to question why ONY wants him to bring people in or what they do with them. All he really knows is, "This is the target. Get her."

For that matter, it's not yet clear just what the plan to use Rei for once they have her.



And this is why I pointed out the pipe thing: pipes, while a common thing and a common tropey improvised weapon, aren't something you can just causally get off the street to use in a fight, because often they're being used to y'know, transport water and built within homes out of sight and tightly screwed in, you'd need tools to properly get one out and use it, so either it was a tropey shortcut to give Kestrel an advantage....or as it turns out, kestrel can use magic to get pipes without needing to bother, which makes more sense.

as for kestrel going for Rei but not knowing about her mancy: well, there is the fact that he is also chasing Gamma, and that she is in fact a good person to target to get close to him, so even if he didn't know she was a mancer, he somehow figured out that she was associated with Gamma somehow. keep in mind he was pretty meh towards her until that fight with the thugs, so I doubt he knew much about her ahead of time, I'd say him manipulating Rei was more of an opportunist thing than a planned ahead thing.

also Aria! she is a pyromancer, and my theory is that she is the one who burnt the club in the first place. I don't know, why but she is the only pyromancer known aside from Rei, and this clearly confirms that mancies are inherited through blood.

and yeah the puppets are creepy.


The detail with the pipe is kind of a cool one. I remember that you brought it up and I pointed out that there's a likely mundane explanation for Kestrel using a pipe as a bludgeon. I mean... bits of metal pipe are things that you can just find. While it's hard to get them out of buildings unless you know what you're doing, discarded pipes, (like ones that have rusted internally and have started to leak,) sometimes show up in scrap metal dumpsters. At least around where I live. In rougher areas the might be discarded a little more casually. Like a lot of details in this book though, later events contextualize this bit differently.


It was brought up a few times, and I only just now had a realization about it...

I never actually specifically made it clear in Initial Sparks that Aria is from Exova and Samson is Kaigan, and likewise never made it clear that Ella's mother is Kaigan and father is Exovan. So in english terms, they're both half-japanese half-german. It's one small thing I never really thought to make a note of it because it's something I know internally.

I'll be sure to have it come up in Hidden Embers. Also by the way I tweeted it but I've started writing Hidden Embers, book 2, now!

Ella actually does say that her mother is Kaigan when she's asked why she always refers to people so formally. It was just one scene in an early chapter, so I guess it can be overlooked.

Also, hell yeah. You know that I'm going to be on board for reading Hidden Embers.

By the way, the next chapter post is coming. It might take a little bit though since I've been pretty tired.

[LaZodiac]

Ella actually does say that her mother is Kaigan when she's asked why she always refers to people so formally. It was just one scene in an early chapter, so I guess it can be overlooked.

Also, hell yeah. You know that I'm going to be on board for reading Hidden Embers.

By the way, the next chapter post is coming. It might take a little bit though since I've been pretty tired.

Right, I did bring up that. But it doesn't make it clear that Ella is mixed Exovan-Kaigan, beyond the implicit point that she WAS born in Exova, but has a Kaigan mom.

I'll be sure to keep you posted on its progress, among other things!

I'm excited to hear it! Don't push yourself too hard though, you deserve sleep.

[The Fury]

Alright, babies... it's time for a Chapter Nineteen!

...I don't know why I called y'all "babies." *ahem* Anyway...

Rei wakes up after having dreams about fire. This time also about shadow and iron, and Gamma's face getting consumed by flame.

While I don't think dreams are being used as a way of foreshadowing here, I think they are being used as an insight as to what's inside the character having them. Rei had dreams about fire before her powers started awakening, Gamma had dreams about shadows before awakening his. In this case I think we're having a look at Rei's anxieties. Rei feels responsible for Gamma but worries that she can't protect him.

Rei wakes up understandably a bit frightened, but is thankful to have a sleeping Verde hugging her. She is also very sore and exhausted from what happened the previous night though. Not to mention the wounds she got from Kestrel. Gamma's awake too, he's got a bandaged-up torso which as noted, is kind of like a shirt. Or rather the closest Gamma will ever come to wearing one. Dude hates shirts. It's left deliberately vague if the pauses in Gamma's dialogue are due to having a hard time breathing after being stabbed or if he's just fumbling for the right words. It's possible that it's a little of both.

He explains that he followed Rei after she had described Kestrel to him. To him it sounded like she could be describing the ferromancer, but he needed to be sure. Gamma's earlier line of wanting to meet Kestrel takes on a different meaning in light of this. In the moment he said it, it could be taken as a sign of his softening attitude. That he might be learning to trust and wanting to know the other people in Rei's life. As it turns out, no. He specifically asked if Rei could bring Kestrel to the burnt out dance club, which suggests that Gamma wanted to lure Kestrel into a fight on his own terms. This time it was lucky. It's likely that Rei would not have escaped Kestrel if Gamma had not intervened.

It's a moment for Gamma to bare his soul a little. When he first met Rei, he wanted to kill her. Which on it's face is a bit of a "yikes" thing to admit, but he explains that he thought that she might have been sent to hunt him down. This is kind of an interesting development, since it suggests that Kestrel, and probably Kite, aren't the only teenage mancers that ONY has on their payroll. Obviously things happened differently when Rei was attacked by the mnemonic puppet and Gamma defended her. He didn't really think about saving her as such, he just acted. Now Gamma... is not nice. In fact he's kind of a vicious little weirdo with a strong vindictive streak. Him admitting this to Rei while going on that Rei was the first ever person to be kind to him with tears in his eyes suggests that there might be more to him. Maybe that vicious side to Gamma is just what he became to survive, not really who he is at his core. He does have a better nature, and sometimes it even gets a chance to shine through.

Re drags her aching body to the kitchen, where Aria is cooking breakfast. Pancakes! While Aria seems relatively normal and cheery, it's still pretty clear that she's a bit shaken. As weird as things have gotten, Rei takes this chance to ask if Aria knew. About Rei's pyromancy. Aria admits that she did, but kept it from Rei so she might have a chance at a normal life. That is, something that Aria never got herself. While Rei is fairly understanding, she also points out that by not knowing about her pyromancy, she could have hurt someone with her powers. In fact she did. At this point it's a question of what could have been. Rei isn't even sure about if what happened with Chloe could have been avoided if she knew about her pyromancy earlier and had training. What's eating away at her is that for a moment, Rei actually wanted Chloe to burn. Aria had plans to tell Rei about her powers on her birthday, but... dragging in a critically injured Gamma kind of knocked any plans off the rails. All the while, Aria avoids directly mentioning her own pyromancy. The only real suggestion that Aria might have powers is the mention of a "normal life" that she never had. In the meantime, Aria has Rei go wash up. She's still sort of gross and sticky from all the blood. After that's done they'll talk more about their plans.

We join Chloe in the hospital. She's well enough that she can leave it seems. Or at least she won't have to wear a hospital gown. Though Chloe notes that the sweatpants and wool shirt she has to wear aren't especially flattering. They're a little too big. Possibly to avoid irritating her burns. At least she's alive. A crash from a medical supplies cart brings her out of her thoughts.

Now strange noises in the night aren't the sort of thing that you tend to make you want to leave your room. Chloe inches a little closer to the door and asks if things are alright. I'd say that's a "Nope!" As Kestrel walks in, his left arm covered in bloody bandages. I guess he did use that iron to make himself a new arm. He also seems really out of sorts. Kestrel demands that Chloe come with him, and that it's urgent. Mm-hm. Yeah, buddy. I'll bet that it is. Chloe is hesitant to leave the hospital room with this guy. She also notes the dead-eyed look that Kestrel has now. Unfortunately, Kestrel isn't giving Chloe any option. He grabs Chloe's burnt hand. Hard. (Ow.) He even threatens to break her knees and bodily drag her out if she resists.

As Kestrel kicks open the door while pulling Chloe along, she notices the bodies of the nurses that Kestrel killed. He evidently used the same trick that he killed the cop with on them. Using the iron in their blood to make spikes that impale them from the inside out. Chloe screams but there's no one there to hear it. No one alive anyway. Kestrel continues to pull Chloe along, hard enough that it's actually hurting her arm. She gets an idea though, as they pass the overturned medical supply cart. She fakes a trip, and manages to pocket a scalpel without Kestrel noticing. Clever, though I'm not sure I'd be up for going against the scary man with tiny bladey thing. The fall frustrates Kestrel, and like I mentioned before, dude's got a violent streak and anger issues. Luckily, he needs Chloe alive. He instead opts to yank Chloe back to her feet, hard enough that Chloe almost feels her arm pop out of its socket. Between getting burned and kidnapped by a violent ferromancer, Chloe's having a rough week.

Freshly showered and in clean clothes, Rei gets some breakfast with her pals and her mother. She even wears her favorite T-shirt. One with her favorite character from Knights of the Stars on it-- Leona, a bastard sword-wielding knight. Fittingly, she's even fire-themed. Nobody really saw what happened the previous night except Rei and Gamma, so understandably Verde wants to know what the hell and this seems a good a time as any to ask.

Rei explains that Kestrel attacked her. She says that Kestrel is after Gamma, but corrects herself-- Kestrel is after her. Rei seems to be the priority target. In any case, the way the encounter went, Rei is probably correct in assuming that Kestrel could have taken either Gamma or her separately and it's only because they worked together that they managed to escape alive.

Some chapters ago, it was speculated that Gamma might be an artificial person grown in a lab. Here it's actually confirmed that ONY basically grew him in a tube. Evidently Gamma was meant to be a weapon of some kind. He also spills that Orochi is the one running the show.

Now, I don't think that ONY's trying to pull a Weyland-Utani-- like trying to sell mancers as weapons to the highest bidder. On the face of it, it doesn't make much sense that ONY would be interested in developing weapons this way. They likely aren't planning on starting a war since Felis pretty much controls the world and ONY controls Felis. Then again, why would ONY need mancer operatives? Why are they interested in capturing other mancers and growing their own? ONY's actions only make sense if there's more to the situation than is seen. It could be that there are factions working against ONY's interest and ONY likes to have mancers to sic on them.

In any case, an omnipresent corporate entity that controls everything being after you is a terrifying idea. Rei has an idea though-- find Kestrel and beat the tar out of him until he spills what he knows. Not... an awesome plan. Kestrel did come close to winning when he fought Gamma and Rei at the same time. Although he did get the drop on Rei that time and he's missing an arm now. If Rei's ready for him and has Gamma backing her up, they might actually come out on top. No telling if they'll be able to get Kestrel to talk, but he's the best lead they have for figuring out what ONY and Orochi want.

Rei still has Kestrel's phone number. She can contact him and set up a meeting. While Rei feels that putting her friends at risk isn't acceptable and insists that she should do this alone, Gamma and Verde aren't having it though. Rei has already hurt Chloe and doesn't want to risk anyone else, even though pretty much nobody is onboard with Rei going against Kestrel on her own. Even Ella, in her own timid way doesn't find this acceptable. Aria has something to say about this.

Rei might be worried about seeing someone she cares about getting hurt because of her. Indeed, everyone is. That is to say that Rei has people that love her. People that don't want to see her get hurt. So for their sake, please accept their help.

For now, it's probably a good idea for our heroes to rest, recover their strength and formulate a workable plan. Apparently, the house they're in is relatively safe. Thanks to a lawyer trick from Aria, the government, and probably ONY, thinks that they live on the other side of town. Which explains why the cop gave Kestrel the wrong address. Evidently Aria was a something of a rebel when she was younger. In truth, she still is kind of.

Verde takes this opportunity to demonstrate the magic that she's been learning. She's officially a wind mage! Her magic is even green! Unfortunately using wind magic indoors tends to make a bit of a mess, much to Aria's chagrin. Rei is a little put out at being the last one to learn about something this cool, though to be fair Ella got Verde the book that she's learning from and Gamma helped her train. Aria only found out this morning. In any case, Verde is feeling pretty good about herself. Possibly even stoked about coming up with a plan to take down Kestrel. Then... the news report starts.

We'll have to wait until next chapter to see what the news report says, but for now a lot of the seeds that were planted earlier in the book are starting to pay off. That said, there's still a lot that isn't confirmed, like what ONY wants with mancers. While our heroes are working on their plan to fight Kestrel, Kestrel himself seems to have a plan to deal with them. Part of it is taking Chloe hostage of course, a smart first step. We'll have to see where he goes with it.

Next time... Toss a coin to your Fury! Oh, valley of plenty! Chapter Twenty!

Chapter updates might also be a little less frequent. Just from the general malaise I've been feeling from long work hours.

[DataNinja]

I'm sorry, we cannot toss pennies for your thoughts. We have them not here in Canada. :smallwink:

Anyways, take care of yourself.

[Rater202]

I always hate it when the bad guy becomes a lot more proactive in the middle of the story.

I mean, I know it's good storytelling but I hate it when the hero has a plan that won't end up going somewhere becuase the bad guy doesn't have the decency to lick his wounds like a normal person.

I can't help but feel that Chloe trying to stab a guy with iron powers, down to the point of being able to control blood becuase of iron molecules in blood cells, with a steel surgical knife and escape is going to backfire on her horribly.

I hope to god she turns out to have powers that can heal someone becuase if she lives through this she's gonna be a mess of scars.

[The Fury]

I'm sorry, we cannot toss pennies for your thoughts. We have them not here in Canada. :smallwink:

Anyways, take care of yourself.

I also accept arcade tokens. It's a shame that there are no Canadian pennies. I guess you could lob a toonie at me or something, but that seems kind of expensive. Especially if you miss.


I always hate it when the bad guy becomes a lot more proactive in the middle of the story.

I mean, I know it's good storytelling but I hate it when the hero has a plan that won't end up going somewhere becuase the bad guy doesn't have the decency to lick his wounds like a normal person.

I can't help but feel that Chloe trying to stab a guy with iron powers, down to the point of being able to control blood becuase of iron molecules in blood cells, with a steel surgical knife and escape is going to backfire on her horribly.

I hope to god she turns out to have powers that can heal someone becuase if she lives through this she's gonna be a mess of scars.

Rei and company's strategy is pretty much "find Kestrel and kick his butt." Not much of a plan, but I guess the details are all about making the fight happen on their terms. Not that those details have been hashed out yet. Kestrel does have a plan for controlling the fight though. Not much beyond "have a hostage," but still.

Speaking of Chloe... yeah. I'm pretty sure that Chloe doesn't know that Kestrel is a ferromancer or even what a ferromancer is. Even then, her idea of using a tiny knife to escape could easily go wrong.

[LaZodiac]

Canada does actually still HAVE pennies, physically, they're just no longer being printed.

[DataNinja]

Canada does actually still HAVE pennies, physically, they're just no longer being printed.
Shhh. That doesn't sound as good as us casting them all in the fires of Mount Doom from whence they came. :smalltongue:

[The Fury]

Shhh. That doesn't sound as good as us casting them all in the fires of Mount Doom from whence they came. :smalltongue:

...Canada is friggin' metal.

[LaZodiac]

...Canada is friggin' metal.

Without an air of sarcasm I'm pretty sure Data Ninja is not even lying on that point.

[Mystic Muse]

So, I am going to be catching up with everybody, going chapter by chapter in my sumups as has been done so far, and try to catch up within a few days while I'm supposed to be listening to Networking videos.


We get a really nice description of a rather interesting dream. Way better than the dreams I usually have.

Our main character is understandably annoyed that she was woken from the dream by her alarm. Especially to get up at 7:30 to go to school.

On the bright side, she gets to have pancakes and strawberry jam! On the not so bright side, she got up late so she can't savor it.

The descriptions continue to be vivid and memorable. We get our first mention of ONY manufacturing, who seem to be making electric cars quite popular. I hope they take off in the real world soon.

Rei makes it to school just before her teacher, seemingly. She then meets up with her first friend, Verde, who sounds absolutely tiny. We're not given an actual height, but I'm assuming she'd be lucky to break 5'0.

We get our first mention of Knights of the Stars as well.

After that, onto meeting two new students, Ella and Kestrel. I actually frequently forget that Ella looks this way, I tend to imagine her hair being a paler color. Honestly, I almost kind of imagine her as a good-aligned Nui at times. Also, don't feel bad Rei, I don't know what the difference between a Parasol and Umbrella is either.

Rei and Verde are chosen to be the class representatives. It doesn't seem that we're given a reason for why the teacher chose these two, and I'd be curious if there was one, besides the obvious of "Otherwise the plot doesn't really happen."

Rei talks to Kestrel for a bit, and he seems a bit awkward. We've established he's not interested in science, and probably not interested in math either. He seems a bit interested in Rei however, which sets her heart ablaze.

The lot of them sit down for lunch. Kestrel begins talking and sounding more ominous. He trains...no, works out. Okay, I'm now imagining Kestrel as Goku.

I like that Ella is completely casual about her love fortunes, and alleged magic. Kestrel is interested, Verde and Rei allegedly think it's BS. Ella doesn't get much from Rei.

They talk about Ella's special parasol, which has some interesting details. Two foxes dancing along after a Red, black, and silver snake.

Kestrel seems mostly interested in who is hunting who, and seems to imply he likes hunting foxes. Screw you, Kestrel, foxes are wonderful.

And thus ends both lunch and my sumup of things for now.

[DataNinja]

Oh, nice, additional readthrough. :smallcool:

Looking forwards to seeing the different observations between this one and The Fury's.

[The Fury]

It has happened before, and it will happen again. The time for reading another Cursed World chapter is nigh! Now, join me for Chapter Twenty!

The news report, as a few of you have probably already guessed, says that Chloe has been kidnapped from the hospital by an unknown assailant. And that assailant killed some workers in the hospital. It doesn't stop there though. There's two other violent assailants that hurt two road safety workers and managed to kill one of them while the other is in critical condition. While the two events initially seemed unrelated, it's possible that they are. To that end, the chief of the local police will be turning the investigation over to ONY security forces.

From this we can infer a couple things-- One, the two events are definitely related. And two, this is one way how ONY controls the narrative and keeps public favor on their side. By controlling the investigation of incidents that they cause, they can control what information becomes public.

As to how are heroes are taking the news... no great. Rei is fuming and consciously trying not light stuff on fire. Verde is on the verge of panicking-- her mother is a doctor in that hospital and was only saved due to the fact that she was with a patient. If she had been there to be in Kestrel's way... things could have gone differently. Ella, being a sensitive person, is just in tears.

It's sort of agreed right then that they won't have time to come up with a workable plan. Rei borrows Verde's phone and calls Kestrel.

Kestrel's demands are straightforward and what you would expect. Kestrel wants Rei to give herself up. She's to come to him alone, and Chloe will be let go. He'll even recall his companions, I assume he means the mnemonic puppets. Rei agrees, but Kestrel wants to spook her a little so she doesn't try anything funny. Chloe's voice comes on the line, she's panicked and tells Rei to not come. Kestrel's a killer and she thinks he'll kill her too. The call ends with Chloe saying, "Rei, I lov--" followed by the call abruptly ending. Then Rei gets a text of the location shortly after. A house close to Gold Row, where he was supposedly living.

This has "trap" written all over it as Verde is the first to point out. But as Rei observes, Kestrel doesn't handle surprises well. She and Gamma were able to catch him off guard in their last fight. So the plan is Verde and Gamma sneak over to where Kestrel is and stay hidden. Then when Kestrel releases Chloe, Rei will give the signal to attack. The only argument is over who gets to kill Kestrel. Which... that's a little dark.

What about Ella though? She's been cowering behind Verde this entire time, which is a little funny because Verde is so tiny and Ella is a bit on the tall side. Ella wants to help, but she's understandably scared. Aria isn't really able to fight either, so she says. So she suggests that Ella stay with her and maintain a home base of sorts. So it's agreed.

Rei heads out towards her encounter with Kestrel. Quietly seething. As a pyromancer, she runs a bit hot, actually melting the snow where she walks. She has her doubts about what could go wrong. Really, a lot could go wrong, but Kestrel has demonstrated that he's the sort of person that needs to be in control of a situation in order to make it work in his favor. If one detail is out of place, his plan falls apart. Rei on the other hand... her approach to problem solving is more uncomplicated which gives her an advantage.

Verde makes her way to the meeting location as well. She isn't with Rei, so she's probably on a different route. Verde feels like she has a lot to prove, but with her wind magic she'll be able to make a decent showing. More importantly she feels like she can pay back Rei for what she's done for her over the years. Which says a lot about the kind of relationship the two have. Verde feels a lot of gratitude towards Rei to the point that she feels that she owes something to her. Rei meanwhile... Verde was a friend when Rei needed one most. So it kind of insures that the two have a deep bond with one another.

Though Verde's thoughts are interrupted by an older woman. She's brown-skinned has long black hair and is wearing a long dress and a quilted winter vest. She seems very timid and very worried. Her son is missing, see and she hasn't heard from him. Not since he left to go to his friend's house. He's about Verde's age and it's getting dangerous out here. Verde's normally a pretty helpful person, but can't agree to help this person. As you might have guessed, this woman is actually a mnemonic puppet in disguise. Verde doesn't grasp the particulars, but she does mentally ask enough questions to get suspicious just before being attacked.

Meanwhile Gamma is perched on top of a building. Like Batman. It occurs to him that he'd probably just make his injuries worse if he tried to fight for very long. He too, feels a sense of gratitude, maybe even obligation to Rei. Speaking of, he spots some ONY Security Force soldiers that are probably looking for Rei. These guys might do alright against Rei, considering Rei's only a fledgling pyromancer that might try to hold back. Especially if they got the drop on her. Yet Gamma got the drop on them and he's a much more experienced shadowmancer that does not hold back. It's worth noting that while there is a practical side to what Gamma is doing, pragmatism is not his goal. He's acting more out of revenge for what ONY did to him. The fact that he allows one of the soldiers to radio for backup so he'll have more to kill only emphasizes this. Hopefully Rei's plan doesn't go off the rails because Gamma has to get his vengeance on.

Meanwhile poor Ella is back at the house with Aria, nervous and pacing. It's been noted a few times that Ella is more timid and sensitive than her friends and all this stuff that's been happening has weighed pretty heavily on her. In fact she seems on the edge of breaking down in panic, clutching her umbrella and trying so hard to keep calm. Aria is taking this in stride though. From what little we know of Aria's past, this likely isn't her first rodeo. Ella's thoughts are to how she tried to keep the situation under control before they had met Gamma. She had seen something in Rei when she did a reading. Up until now, it's not been clear if Ella's fortune-telling is just a cold read or if it's an actual power. It's the latter. Ella's fortune-telling is done by reading someone's blood, which actually makes a certain kind of sense. The mnemonic puppets seem to operate on a similar principle of reading the memory within a target's blood and using it to construct a disguise. Since Ella hasn't used magic circles or words to activate her power, it's likely that she's some kind of mancer rather than a magic-user.

After Rei, Verde and Gamma have left, Aria cheerfully noted that Kestrel may have very well tracked Verde's phone and the house might be attacked. Ella takes this news about as well as someone who's nervous and danger-averse as she is could. Aria also asked her for a reading. Unprompted. However she managed it, Aria seems to know just what Ella is. When Ella read Aria's fortune, it was like "gazing across a vast see of cooling magma." Our chapter ends with a knock at the door, which nearly gets Ella to faint.

This chapter is building up to the climactic encounter with Kestrel, so it's more about tension than it is about plot. That said, there's still some interesting character stuff. Gamma's been treated as a character that's basically decent, if a little rough around the edges. This is still true, but it's also shown here that his violent streak can also make him a liability. While we still don't have a complete explanation for what Ella is, we're starting to get one. In future chapters, this is elaborated on, so we'll get there.

See you next time for Chapter Twenty-One! *finger guns*

Also, Thanks to Mystic Muse for jumping in and offering her experience of reading the book. I guess it's lucky that I'm getting slower with the updates. I'll be nice to give her a chance to catch up a bit.

[Mystic Muse]

I should be able to get through at least one chapter each day, possibly more if I can get through enough of my Primaris Space Marines backlog.

So, we resume at Computer science, and Rei is goofing off.

We get introduced to a few other elements of their school. Primarily, the Heathers. That's not their actual name, but they're a group of awful rich cheerleader types so that's what I'm going to be referring to them as in the future. Sadly, I don't think they'll be singing "Candy Store" at any point, which might redeem their presence. They're all flirting with kestrel, which is no surprise.

We also get introduced to the fact that Rei is bi. She thinks Kestrel is more her speed than Ella, which is of course perfectly fine.

She's also reading articles from a rather sketchy sounding website, the hidden layer. Somebody pulling a Chicken Little and saying the sky is going to fall (moon, but details).

She goes to another article by "The Laketown Times" Which mentions an occurrence similar to Rei's, where a woman started feeling hot and everything went up in flames soon after, and then everyone was saved by a woman in purple with a cat's tail. The article has also been edited recently, to say the building might be haunted.

Rei of course gets a great idea. Let's go check out the haunted building! Rei, you need at least two guys and a talking dog before you start handling mysteries. A psychedelic van wouldn't hurt either, but isn't strictly necessary.

Then one of the Heathers comes over. Chloe, an ex-friend of Rei's who insists on being called MISS Chloe by her. Not exactly sure why it matters, but whatever. She teases Rei about the idea of kestrel ever ending up with Rei, and calls him her future boy-toy. She then flounces back to the other Heathers, who I want some sort of nuisance to happen to. One of their sodas to explode all over their nice new clothes sometime, or something similar.

Rei mentions she has ammo against Chloe if Chloe ever actually goes too far. She knows that Chloe smokes, because she's noticed a bulge in Chloe's breast pocket that looks like a pack of cigarettes and lighter. Verde questions how often Rei looks at Chloe's chest to notice that. Rei finds Verde's implication gross, and says that dating Chloe would be worse than dating Verde. Verde insists that dating her would be great because she's 'fun-sized' but knows she isn't interested in girls because her and Rei have kissed before.

Then we cut to Gold row. I love the description here, particularly of the scent of cigarrette smoke having marked this place like a scar. The description of the place kind of reminds me of Wily's city from the Protomen albums. Old, dirty, falling apart because of lack of care, and not many people wanting to stare there. Luckily, Gold Row isn't run by a tyrannical scientist who will disappear you for making too much noise. I hope.

Verde, Ella, and Rei are here. Okay, so we've got Velma (Verde), Daphne (Ella) and Rei...Rei doesn't really fit any of the Scooby Gang. She kinda dresses like Shaggy a little, but personality wise doesn't fit him, Freddy, or Scooby. Oh well, guess my comparisons to that end here. They arrive at the burnt-out club, which only ever had enough clientele to just stay open, and after the fire could not recoup from the losses, so the city sits abandoned and condemned.

And Rei wants to go in anyway. Rei, don't go in condemned buildings, they aren't safe. Bits of it could collapse on you or under you at any time. Rei puts her hand on the rusted iron door, and thinks about trying to get in, before a singe of pain occurs and she recoils, thinking she's left a burn mark in the shape of her hand on the door. The more she looks, the less sure she is, and Verde and Ella convince her to just leave.

Don't worry Rei, there's nothing here anyway!

Except some dude with crystal blue eyes who was watching her the entire time, and has noticed she has some sort of fire abilities.

Well, we'll find out about him later.




And there's chapter 2. Full disclosure, I've actually read multiple drafts of this book, as well as other books Zodi has written for NaNoWriMo, so there's not a lot I'm going to be surprised by. There are some things I'm noticing that are significant, but they don't really stand out unless you've read said books, or she's told you about plans about things later on down the line. I'm not really saying much about these, or drawing much attention to them, because spoilers are rude.

[DataNinja]

Full disclosure, I've actually read multiple drafts of this book, as well as other books Zodi has written for NaNoWriMo, so there's not a lot I'm going to be surprised by. There are some things I'm noticing that are significant, but they don't really stand out unless you've read said books, or she's told you about plans about things later on down the line. I'm not really saying much about these, or drawing much attention to them, because spoilers are rude.

Even with that, musings and observations are fun to read. It's always interesting seeing how someone else sees the world!
(Also, good luck with the painting. I kinda burned out on my space marines long, long ago, and then fell out of the hobby. Whoops.)

[LaZodiac]

I think a fun thing about seeing someone who's read through the book more than once do something like this, is seeing what they pick up and what might go unnoticed. I've found whenever I read through a book I discover new things.

To use an example, there is actually a textually implied reason why Verde and Rei were picked to help out with the transfer students!

[Rater202]

Oh no, the abused child who was apparently physically and mentally tortured into being a super soldier and who has repeatedly shown that they have no idea how the world works outside their experiences is gleefully slaughtering mooks associated with the people behind his abuse, who could ever have seen a child soldier lashing out like this?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_mrNQBLSMU

Okay, in truth, I did not see it coming, but honestly, in hindsight, I am not the least bit surprised.

The question is: Are they just mooks? Or is it gonna turn out that these people have no idea just how shady the boss is and are ultimately just people with families doing their job and what they've been led to believe is the right thing, making Gamma no better than the people who made him?

[The Fury]

I should be able to get through at least one chapter each day, possibly more if I can get through enough of my Primaris Space Marines backlog.

So, we resume at Computer science, and Rei is goofing off.

We get introduced to a few other elements of their school. Primarily, the Heathers. That's not their actual name, but they're a group of awful rich cheerleader types so that's what I'm going to be referring to them as in the future. Sadly, I don't think they'll be singing "Candy Store" at any point, which might redeem their presence. They're all flirting with kestrel, which is no surprise.


One of them is later shown to be named Heather, so it's not far off. I'm sure it's a deliberate reference to The Heathers as well.


Verde, Ella, and Rei are here. Okay, so we've got Velma (Verde), Daphne (Ella) and Rei...Rei doesn't really fit any of the Scooby Gang. She kinda dresses like Shaggy a little, but personality wise doesn't fit him, Freddy, or Scooby. Oh well, guess my comparisons to that end here. They arrive at the burnt-out club, which only ever had enough clientele to just stay open, and after the fire could not recoup from the losses, so the city sits abandoned and condemned.

And Rei wants to go in anyway. Rei, don't go in condemned buildings, they aren't safe. Bits of it could collapse on you or under you at any time. Rei puts her hand on the rusted iron door, and thinks about trying to get in, before a singe of pain occurs and she recoils, thinking she's left a burn mark in the shape of her hand on the door. The more she looks, the less sure she is, and Verde and Ella convince her to just leave.

Don't worry Rei, there's nothing here anyway!

Except some dude with crystal blue eyes who was watching her the entire time, and has noticed she has some sort of fire abilities.

Well, we'll find out about him later.




Maybe Kestrel can be Fred? Maybe he owns a van. He'd probably look good in an ascot. Rei isn't really a Shaggy, but maybe they'll meet one later. Of course this means that Rei will probably be outed as the bad guy by the end when Kestrel pulls off her realistic rubber mask. She would've gotten away with it too...

Jokes aside, Verde does remind me a little bit of Velma too. What with her glasses and big sweater. Beyond a surface resemblance she's pretty different from Velma in ways that are seen later.

As for the dude with the blue eyes... yeah, he was my favorite part of this chapter. Someone vaguely ominous and threatening lurking in the shadows.


And there's chapter 2. Full disclosure, I've actually read multiple drafts of this book, as well as other books Zodi has written for NaNoWriMo, so there's not a lot I'm going to be surprised by. There are some things I'm noticing that are significant, but they don't really stand out unless you've read said books, or she's told you about plans about things later on down the line. I'm not really saying much about these, or drawing much attention to them, because spoilers are rude.

Hey, I'm still interested in what your thoughts are. I came into this totally blind, and you having some idea of what to expect no doubt gives you a different perspective.


Oh no, the abused child who was apparently physically and mentally tortured into being a super soldier and who has repeatedly shown that they have no idea how the world works outside their experiences is gleefully slaughtering mooks associated with the people behind his abuse, who could ever have seen a child soldier lashing out like this?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_mrNQBLSMU

Okay, in truth, I did not see it coming, but honestly, in hindsight, I am not the least bit surprised.

The question is: Are they just mooks? Or is it gonna turn out that these people have no idea just how shady the boss is and are ultimately just people with families doing their job and what they've been led to believe is the right thing, making Gamma no better than the people who made him?

As a general rule, most people are... people. I'm sure that these people that Gamma is killing do have families, friends and whatnot. Maybe they do know about ONY's more unsavory side and are OK with it, maybe they have no idea. I don't think they're just random cannon-fodder to be killed off without a second thought by the heroes though. And I feel like Gamma's actions here are not meant to be seen as heroic.

[Rater202]

I have acquired the book for myself and the process of devouring its secrets shall commence shortly.

Because why the hell not, I too shall post my thoughts chapter by chapter...

Though my first impression is that the book's heft feels good in my hands.

[DataNinja]

Gasp. :smalltongue:

This is turning into a real proper regular book club now. :smallbiggrin:

[LaZodiac]

I have acquired the book for myself and the process of devouring its secrets shall commence shortly.

Because why the hell not, I too shall post my thoughts chapter by chapter...

Though my first impression is that the book's heft feels good in my hands.

Hell yeah! I hope you enjoy Rater, and look forward to hearing your thoughts!

And god yeah just... just SEEING the printed book for the first time blew my mind, finally getting my hands on it was such a powerful feeling. It's really just... nice, to have that physicality to it.

[Rater202]

Before I dive into the book proper, I'd like to talk about the cover.

Now, we're past the scene where this happens, but pretending for a moment that I'm going in blind:

We have a confident redhead in a t-shirt and slacks blasting away at outstretched clawed hands coming from the shadows with fire. Fearful brunette in blouse and skirt, carrying an umbrella, and smol adorable blonde in a green sweater, tights, and rose-tinted glasses who just don't give a ****.

This cover itself does a very good job of giving you an idea of introducing you to the characters and giving you an idea of what they're like.

Lots of books, especially young adult novels, have covers that don't really give you any idea about what they're about. A picture of hands holding an apple has nothing to do with vampire 'romance.' A bird in a circle doesn't say anything about children being forced to fight to the death for the amusement of the rich.

This? This gives you an idea of what the story's about. Auroreolin Flax did this? Auroreolin Flax did well. Very well.

We open with Rei having a dream about being perfectly calm in the middle of a blazing inferno. I'm calling it, this is foreshadowing not only her fire powers but that she needs to be like a Jedi to use them at her full extent: She has to feel the emotions fuelling it, but she needs to be in control of them.

Cherry red hair?

I just ate a bowl of fried rice and sweet and chicken and the description of the pancakes, "golden brown and slathered in strawberry jam," made me hungry again.

Laketown seems quaint and pleasant. I wonder what dark secrets are hiding below the surface? What skeletons are in the closets of those cookie-cutter white houses?

You're not late if you get there before the teacher.

...You know, if this was gym class, the description of the teacher would be colossal deja vous.

Ah, Kestral. Description of the handsome man is a huge red flag... though that might just be because I know he's the bad guy ahead of time.

...yeah, I'm not sure if I'd have picked this up going blind but Kestral's dialog is a chakra more ominous than my own.

Teacher tells you to do thing, doesn't let you finish thing? Yep, standard teacher.

...I wonder if Kestral has some way of making people pay attention to him? He can manipulate molecular iron in the blood, so he can probably mess up someone's body chemistry. Even Rei is wondering why she's crushing on him so hard.

I'm assuming that Ella is somekind of magic until proven otherwise... And Kestral's noting her is another red flag.

I'd like to hear the folk story in detail.

It's been a while since I've sat down and read a physical book. Is nice.

[LaZodiac]

While the "forbidden love" symbolism of an apple in pale white hands is there, and there's textual importance to the bird pin image... well, to quote a person; I've heard of writers who use subtext symbolism and they are cowards*. The cover art should be something immediately catching and telling of the book. This is writing that is fairly inspired by anime and manga so I tried to come up with a cover that looked like a manga cover art. It also hearkens back, in my opinion anyway, to when books used to have art of scenes from the actual book on the cover, which I've always loved since it's like "oh **** it's that cover moment!" and that's a cool feeling, personally.

And yeah the artist did wonderful! You can find her here! (https://twitter.com/AureolinFlax)


Yup, cherry-red hair! As in Rei's hair is very vibrantly red.

Noted, about that folklore~.

*the irony is that I use a lot of symbolism, hehe~

[Mystic Muse]

Sorry, the forum's been having loading issues.

I return from painting way too many space marines (Doing the finishing touches, will have gotten 50 painted in 5 days), and listening to the new Hazbin Hotel song probably too much for my own good.



Everybody is varying levels of cold. Verde is fine, she's got a giant freaking sweater. Rei is also fine, she probably has fire powers, so she's not concerned until it gets super cold. Even ignoring that, she's lived here her entire life, she's better adapted to it than I would be.

As they walk they bring up that Verde has been trying to fix her space heater, and they get into a problem that is unfortunately endemic to real life. The 'approved' techs are far too expensive to ever justify using when you could just get the item new for cheaper, and the item was made to be difficult to work on if you aren't an approved tech. So, ONY manufacturing is Apple, got it.

They have another talk about how Ella is super formal, and refers to everyone as miss, because she's from Kaiga, and Rei got very into Kaigan stuff a few years ago, before they run into someone in Gold Row they recognize. It's Goku Kestrel! And yet another kind of...suspicious conversation. Kestrel really doesn't seem to be the talking, or volunteering information sort. As Verde points out, given that he mentions that there might be actual danger in the area, it's kind of...rude of him not to offer to walk anyone home.

Rei looks at her phone after this conversation, and notices she has about 30 minutes to get home. She tells her friends she'll meet them on the way back, she's going to go get Kestrel's number real quick. This isn't a complete lie, she plans on doing that if she has the time, but really she's...going back to the burnt out club. Alone. For the love of whatever gods exist in this universe Rei, this is a stupid idea.

So, Rei goes into the burnt out club. The description here is absolutely wonderful. I particularly love the bit about it feeling dead in a way that Rei hasn't really ever experienced before.

And then we find out, we aren't in original Scooby Doo, we're in the animated movies from the 2000s, because monsters are real. As we'll find out soon, this thing is called a puppet. Personally, not a name I'm fond of, though I appreciate that LaZodiac avoided the use of words with real-world baggage. I'm a bit more fond of construct myself.

She stares this thing down as it seems intent on killing her, and then gets saved by a mystery person! He's revealed to be tall, thin, dressed in only blue jeans, and with a mess of black hair covering half his face. Sadly, I can't think of an especially great character to compare him to. He manages to destroy the puppet before it kills Rei, and she in turn helps treat his injuries with the medi-kit that she has with her, patching him up as much as she can with the one-week worth of first aid training her mom gave her.

She doesn't get a lot of answers from him, though in his defense he doesn't have a lot he can give her answers to. He doesn't know here he came from, or where he is. He tells her for her sake she should just get the **** out of here while she can. She ponders it for a moment, and thinks it's a good idea, but it's too late. She's involved now. They exchange names, she's Rei Scios, and he's Gamma.

And that's my own summary of chapter 3. Hope you guys enjoy. Would do another but I'm exhausted tonight.

[Rater202]

So can teen girls be Karens or are they still Heathers? Or is Libby still the term? Either way, they're a breed of humanity that needs to be stamped out.


Yes, Verde, you should believe that the President of ONY is secretly paying people to study psychic powers.

Is the little girl raised by wolves having trouble adjusting to society maybe foreshadowing gamma? He could be argued to have been metaphorically raised by wolves and, well, he's gonna have trouble fitting in. The red bone fragment is clearly foreshadowing the puppets or, at least Geomancy in general.

I'm interested in seeing the cat-tail lady elaborated on.

Okay, if I was going into this blid I'd have assumed that Chloe was a big bad superbitch and probably the Malfoy of this story and that Rei and Verde were going to end up together, since they joke about it here. Since I'm spoiled up to chapter 20, I think it's a really good takeout.

Though, with the metaknowledge, the fact that Rei spends time checking out Chloe's chest is more noticeable.

How long ago was the fire at the club, that it's condemned but not torn down yet?

Gamma! The first appearance is ominous as frick.

[LaZodiac]

So can teen girls be Karens or are they still Heathers? Or is Libby still the term? Either way, they're a breed of humanity that needs to be stamped out.


Yes, Verde, you should believe that the President of ONY is secretly paying people to study psychic powers.

Is the little girl raised by wolves having trouble adjusting to society maybe foreshadowing gamma? He could be argued to have been metaphorically raised by wolves and, well, he's gonna have trouble fitting in. The red bone fragment is clearly foreshadowing the puppets or, at least Geomancy in general.

I'm interested in seeing the cat-tail lady elaborated on.

Okay, if I was going into this blid I'd have assumed that Chloe was a big bad superbitch and probably the Malfoy of this story and that Rei and Verde were going to end up together, since they joke about it here. Since I'm spoiled up to chapter 20, I think it's a really good takeout.

Though, with the metaknowledge, the fact that Rei spends time checking out Chloe's chest is more noticeable.

How long ago was the fire at the club, that it's condemned but not torn down yet?

Gamma! The first appearance is ominous as frick.

Concerning the condemned building, I can say with 100% serious that it is more or less based on some behaviors up where I live. There are some houses and businesses that are waiting for one Absolute Disaster before they can be torn down and replaced because it is just not viable to tear it down before hand. Partly due to the desire to keep up iconic, historic buildings and partly because the cost is just to damn high. There's no reason to tear down this old house that has been here for literally a century, so we're just going to wait until it ends up catching on fire and then turning that area into a gravel pit zone. Which is a thing that happened to a building within eyesight of my apartment window a year or two ago!

So yeah. That's why it's not burnt down yet :smalltongue:

To answer your actual question I think it's mentioned it was five years ago that this incident happened.

[Mystic Muse]

So can teen girls be Karens or are they still Heathers? Or is Libby still the term? Either way, they're a breed of humanity that needs to be stamped out.


Yes, Verde, you should believe that the President of ONY is secretly paying people to study psychic powers.

Is the little girl raised by wolves having trouble adjusting to society maybe foreshadowing gamma? He could be argued to have been metaphorically raised by wolves and, well, he's gonna have trouble fitting in. The red bone fragment is clearly foreshadowing the puppets or, at least Geomancy in general.

I'm interested in seeing the cat-tail lady elaborated on.

Okay, if I was going into this blid I'd have assumed that Chloe was a big bad superbitch and probably the Malfoy of this story and that Rei and Verde were going to end up together, since they joke about it here. Since I'm spoiled up to chapter 20, I think it's a really good takeout.

Though, with the metaknowledge, the fact that Rei spends time checking out Chloe's chest is more noticeable.

How long ago was the fire at the club, that it's condemned but not torn down yet?

Gamma! The first appearance is ominous as frick.

I would consider the "Heather" distinct from the "Karen." I at least called them Heathers. I'm actually not familiar with the Libby.

And yeah, like that would be the dumbest thing an obscenely rich person ever spent money on.


I forgot to mention the thing that's a callback to this chapter in chapter 3, since I just kind of let all of my thoughts spill out when I'm doing the reading of chapters.

[Rater202]

First hint of ONY's corruption: Maintaining a literal monopoly by making it impossible to compete.

...Verde-senpai just sounds wrong in my ear.

Kestral continues to be shady as hell.

Rei suffers from protagonist syndrome: Her curiosity outweighs her sense of self-preservation.

The puppet is a lot more terrifying reading it's description proper.

Zodi, if this ever gets optioned for a movie, do your best to maintain as much control as possible because Gamma's introduction could very easily be twisted into an opportunity to show off a Hunk instead of doing what it's meant to do. The fight scene and Rei patching him up afterward.

[LaZodiac]

First hint of ONY's corruption: Maintaining a literal monopoly by making it impossible to compete.

...Verde-senpai just sounds wrong in my ear.

Kestral continues to be shady as hell.

Rei suffers from protagonist syndrome: Her curiosity outweighs her sense of self-preservation.

The puppet is a lot more terrifying reading it's description proper.

Zodi, if this ever gets optioned for a movie, do your best to maintain as much control as possible because Gamma's introduction could very easily be twisted into an opportunity to show off a Hunk instead of doing what it's meant to do. The fight scene and Rei patching him up afterward.

It felt gross just writing "Verde-senpai" and I think that helps evoke the sorts of feeling I wanted Ella's joke there to get across, hehe.

I'm glad the mnemonic puppet continues to be horrifying! One of my favorite moments.

If (and this is a big if!) my novel writing becomes big enough to be optioned for ANYTHING, it's gonna be animated and I'm gonna 100% ensure they don't make Gamma a hunky hot boy, especially in this scenes. That's not to say Gamma isn't attractive once he's cleaned up, but the dude needs to come off as feral and sickly in this scene for it to work properly. So rest assured, that will be the case, hehe.

[Rater202]

It felt gross just writing "Verde-senpai" and I think that helps evoke the sorts of feeling I wanted Ella's joke there to get across, hehe.

I'm glad the mnemonic puppet continues to be horrifying! One of my favorite moments.

If (and this is a big if!) my novel writing becomes big enough to be optioned for ANYTHING, it's gonna be animated and I'm gonna 100% ensure they don't make Gamma a hunky hot boy, especially in this scenes. That's not to say Gamma isn't attractive once he's cleaned up, but the dude needs to come off as feral and sickly in this scene for it to work properly. So rest assured, that will be the case, hehe.

Zodi... Cursed World is giving me the same feelings I got when I was a teenager cracking open a new Harry Potter book for the first time. I have put off reading the new Dresden Files to read Initial Sparks

If I wans't sharring my thoughts chapter by chapter, I'd probably have already devoured it in its entirety by now.

As someone who gets really uncomfortable when I'm told that my wiring is good... Your writing is good.

Don't take any risks you're not ready to take, or put your eggs in on basket or anything like that, but looking at the kind of things that get greenlit? I think that the chances of you getting optioned are higher than you think.

[The Fury]

You know, I've been feeling kind of like I've been neglecting the thread. Work's been crazy and has taken a lot out of me. As such, it's been a lot harder to write anything. So Mystic Muse and Rater... thank you. It's been great to have you read these earlier chapters and I love seeing your thoughts as they develop. So... would you prefer if I gave you guys some time to catch up or continue to Chapter Twenty-One? In either case, I probably won't get to it until I no longer feel like my limbs are made of lead.




Everybody is varying levels of cold. Verde is fine, she's got a giant freaking sweater. Rei is also fine, she probably has fire powers, so she's not concerned until it gets super cold. Even ignoring that, she's lived here her entire life, she's better adapted to it than I would be.

As they walk they bring up that Verde has been trying to fix her space heater, and they get into a problem that is unfortunately endemic to real life. The 'approved' techs are far too expensive to ever justify using when you could just get the item new for cheaper, and the item was made to be difficult to work on if you aren't an approved tech. So, ONY manufacturing is Apple, got it.

They have another talk about how Ella is super formal, and refers to everyone as miss, because she's from Kaiga, and Rei got very into Kaigan stuff a few years ago, before they run into someone in Gold Row they recognize. It's Goku Kestrel! And yet another kind of...suspicious conversation. Kestrel really doesn't seem to be the talking, or volunteering information sort. As Verde points out, given that he mentions that there might be actual danger in the area, it's kind of...rude of him not to offer to walk anyone home.

Rei looks at her phone after this conversation, and notices she has about 30 minutes to get home. She tells her friends she'll meet them on the way back, she's going to go get Kestrel's number real quick. This isn't a complete lie, she plans on doing that if she has the time, but really she's...going back to the burnt out club. Alone. For the love of whatever gods exist in this universe Rei, this is a stupid idea.

So, Rei goes into the burnt out club. The description here is absolutely wonderful. I particularly love the bit about it feeling dead in a way that Rei hasn't really ever experienced before.

And then we find out, we aren't in original Scooby Doo, we're in the animated movies from the 2000s, because monsters are real. As we'll find out soon, this thing is called a puppet. Personally, not a name I'm fond of, though I appreciate that LaZodiac avoided the use of words with real-world baggage. I'm a bit more fond of construct myself.

She stares this thing down as it seems intent on killing her, and then gets saved by a mystery person! He's revealed to be tall, thin, dressed in only blue jeans, and with a mess of black hair covering half his face. Sadly, I can't think of an especially great character to compare him to. He manages to destroy the puppet before it kills Rei, and she in turn helps treat his injuries with the medi-kit that she has with her, patching him up as much as she can with the one-week worth of first aid training her mom gave her.

She doesn't get a lot of answers from him, though in his defense he doesn't have a lot he can give her answers to. He doesn't know here he came from, or where he is. He tells her for her sake she should just get the **** out of here while she can. She ponders it for a moment, and thinks it's a good idea, but it's too late. She's involved now. They exchange names, she's Rei Scios, and he's Gamma.

You know the more I think about your Scooby Doo thing, I'm starting to think that Ella is the group's Shaggy. I mean, I know you already figured that she was the Daphne, but she also eats a lot and spooks easily. I mean, just saying... Zoinks!

As for the puppet... Yeah, in earlier recaps I called it "Red Crystal." Mostly because I felt that the word "puppet" felt a little lacking for what it actually was and kind of undersells the horrific side to it.


So can teen girls be Karens or are they still Heathers? Or is Libby still the term? Either way, they're a breed of humanity that needs to be stamped out.

I don't know... Maybe a Heather that never grows out of her mean girl phase when she's an adult becomes a Karen? I'm not sure about the life cycle of mean girls. Maybe there's a peer-reviewed paper on this?


I would consider the "Heather" distinct from the "Karen." I at least called them Heathers. I'm actually not familiar with the Libby.

I don't know if this is accurate, but I assume that the Libby is kind of like a girl version of Bulk and Skull from Power Rangers.

[Rater202]

No, because Bulk and Skull had redeeming qualities and ultimately proved themselves heroes when they invoked an "I am Spartacus" moment in order to buy time for the Astro Rangers in the season finale of In Space.

"Libby" is named after Libby from the 90s Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I mostly mean the live-action but I think she was also in the animated version.

Like a Heather, but less likely to resort to violence. The "Alphabitch" trope on Tvtropes used to be called "The Libby."

[LaZodiac]

Zodi... Cursed World is giving me the same feelings I got when I was a teenager cracking open a new Harry Potter book for the first time. I have put off reading the new Dresden Files to read Initial Sparks

If I wans't sharring my thoughts chapter by chapter, I'd probably have already devoured it in its entirety by now.

As someone who gets really uncomfortable when I'm told that my wiring is good... Your writing is good.

Don't take any risks you're not ready to take, or put your eggs in on basket or anything like that, but looking at the kind of things that get greenlit? I think that the chances of you getting optioned are higher than you think.

This is almost too nice a thing to say, but... thank you very much. It means a lot, and I cannot properly express how much it hits to feel someone say something like that.


You know, I've been feeling kind of like I've been neglecting the thread. Work's been crazy and has taken a lot out of me. As such, it's been a lot harder to write anything. So Mystic Muse and Rater... thank you. It's been great to have you read these earlier chapters and I love seeing your thoughts as they develop. So... would you prefer if I gave you guys some time to catch up or continue to Chapter Twenty-One? In either case, I probably won't get to it until I no longer feel like my limbs are made of lead.

You know the more I think about your Scooby Doo thing, I'm starting to think that Ella is the group's Shaggy. I mean, I know you already figured that she was the Daphne, but she also eats a lot and spooks easily. I mean, just saying... Zoinks!

As for the puppet... Yeah, in earlier recaps I called it "Red Crystal." Mostly because I felt that the word "puppet" felt a little lacking for what it actually was and kind of undersells the horrific side to it.



I don't know... Maybe a Heather that never grows out of her mean girl phase when she's an adult becomes a Karen? I'm not sure about the life cycle of mean girls. Maybe there's a peer-reviewed paper on this?



I don't know if this is accurate, but I assume that the Libby is kind of like a girl version of Bulk and Skull from Power Rangers.

It's okay if you wait. Resting and recovery takes precedence! Don't want a good friend to get sick on my behalf.

Throwing my two cents in to the Scooby Doo comparision cause it's funny and I've actuatlly thought about this; Ella is Shaggy, and Chloe could easily fit the Daphne role well. And everyone's favorite feral pretty boy Gamma can be Scooby :smalltongue:.

If you want a primer on mean girl taxonomy, I recommend watching... well, Mean Girls. Which is a pretty good film, so watch it anyway.

[The Fury]

This is almost too nice a thing to say, but... thank you very much. It means a lot, and I cannot properly express how much it hits to feel someone say something like that.



It's okay if you wait. Resting and recovery takes precedence! Don't want a good friend to get sick on my behalf.

Throwing my two cents in to the Scooby Doo comparision cause it's funny and I've actuatlly thought about this; Ella is Shaggy, and Chloe could easily fit the Daphne role well. And everyone's favorite feral pretty boy Gamma can be Scooby :smalltongue:.

If you want a primer on mean girl taxonomy, I recommend watching... well, Mean Girls. Which is a pretty good film, so watch it anyway.

Now I'm just imagining Gamma and Ella both getting spooked. Gamma jumps into Ella's arms as she shouts "Zoinks! Like, let's get out of here, Gamma!"

They both scamper off and gorge themselves on sandwiches.

But yeah, I agree that the Scooby Doo comparison is hilarious. I also just watched Mystery Incorporated, so it's kind of on the brain.

[Lord Raziere]

I personally, don't like associating certain names with negative traits or even so-called positive ones The "chad" slang term for example I've come to dislike because it associating all people named chad with some jokey internet meme and I just don't like that. like, think of all the people actually named this or that, they didn't ask for their name to be associated with that, and they probably get jokes aimed at them for no good reason so why should I participate in using using such terms? they're just peoples names to me, and I can't and won't associate them with archetype that I don't know. in my opinion we should just call them jerks like normal people.


If Chapter 20 doesn't confirm the ChloexRei ship, I don't know what does so......*shrug*

as for Gamma killing dudes, I mean....does take a bunch of dudes who never get named and then walk out of it alive. thats pretty much the definition of a badass defeating a bunch of mooks. thing is, I'm pretty sure Gamma's the only one who COULD take on ONY forces like this right now and come out kind of okay. the other three aren't killers, Rei would have problems with torching even one actual person, and Ella and Verde arguably are barely ready to not ready at all for combat against created artificial monsters that won't weigh on their conscience much less real soldiers who are using guns and despite all of mancies power, guns are clearly a very practical option for fighting them. Gamma is pretty much the most pragmatic and combat ready and even he had trouble with this amount of normal soldiers, Aria might've been able to do take the soldiers on, but considering how pyromacy works in this setting she probably doesn't have the anger for it anymore.

[The Fury]

I personally, don't like associating certain names with negative traits or even so-called positive ones The "chad" slang term for example I've come to dislike because it associating all people named chad with some jokey internet meme and I just don't like that. like, think of all the people actually named this or that, they didn't ask for their name to be associated with that, and they probably get jokes aimed at them for no good reason so why should I participate in using using such terms? they're just peoples names to me, and I can't and won't associate them with archetype that I don't know. in my opinion we should just call them jerks like normal people.

I always called my friend, Chad "Chaddington." He hated it.

I have sort of mixed feelings about using actual names to refer to a character type. I mean... my mom's name is Heather, but I assure you that she isn't a "Heather." Using names this way can be a useful shorthand but... using tropes to joke about actual people's names? Yeah, that's going too far. Jokes about names was wearing thin sometime around first grade.

[LaZodiac]

To be honest, I completely agree. It's good short hand for characters, and is a nice jumping off point for "oh you should watch the musical Heathers it is very good", but otherwise overuse of it is a little "eh" to me.

[Rater202]

Yes Rei, that really did happen.

You'd think that she'd have broken down sooner, but I guess that adrenaline is a Hell of a drug.

So the vulgar term for fecal matter is okay but the same for fornication gets cut off. Is that a rating thing or just a personal choice?

...Verde's gonna end up the most "powerful" of our heroes with a particularly brute-force approach to combat, isn't she? Contrasting Rei's weaker but more creative use of Pyromancy.

Aria acts like a mom, embarrassing her kid on purpose.

...If Rei's pyromancy is inherited from Aria, as speculated, then I wonder if the pasta boiling over represents concerns or frustrations that aren't expressed normally "boiling over" by dialing up the heat in the nearby pot? I know from the reviews that the Scios house is deliberately listed at the wrong address. You don't do that unless you've got a good reason to be wary of something happening.

...President Yamata and Lord Orochi are the same person, right?

ONY made weapons that wereused to end civil war=ONY still has WMDs, possibly mancer based, and has the Government's balls in a vice grip?

...Forgetting your own birthday? Is that sad? It seems like it would be sad.

The bit with Samson's picture, however? Definitly sad.

[LaZodiac]

Yes Rei, that really did happen.

You'd think that she'd have broken down sooner, but I guess that adrenaline is a Hell of a drug.

So the vulgar term for fecal matter is okay but the same for fornication gets cut off. Is that a rating thing or just a personal choice?

...Verde's gonna end up the most "powerful" of our heroes with a particularly brute-force approach to combat, isn't she? Contrasting Rei's weaker but more creative use of Pyromancy.

Aria acts like a mom, embarrassing her kid on purpose.

...If Rei's pyromancy is inherited from Aria, as speculated, then I wonder if the pasta boiling over represents concerns or frustrations that aren't expressed normally "boiling over" by dialing up the heat in the nearby pot? I know from the reviews that the Scios house is deliberately listed at the wrong address. You don't do that unless you've got a good reason to be wary of something happening.

...President Yamata and Lord Orochi are the same person, right?

ONY made weapons that wereused to end civil war=ONY still has WMDs, possibly mancer based, and has the Government's balls in a vice grip?

...Forgetting your own birthday? Is that sad? It seems like it would be sad.

The bit with Samson's picture, however? Definitly sad.

Generally speaking, light swearing is "okay" in books like this. Rei's cut off moment of the f word is a choice on my part here to have it get cut off, because there is a better moment for me to drop an F bomb, and with words like these if you're going to use them you use them properly. Lighter swearing is definitely a teenager thing so it happens, but bigger swears... need bigger moments. Also I did some reading up on it and the basic idea is that you get one **** per book. There's no hard and fast rule of course but that's generally how publishers consider it.

I was wondering if people would notice that! The pasta boiling over is absolutely due to a mixture of pyromancers hiding secrets from each other causing the heat and tension to literally rise. This is one of those things that only really gets noticed if you're aware of how mancies work going in, so on a re-read or if you read after say, hearing most of the book's detail through a book club thread :smalltongue:

The story hasn't hit that point yet, as of chapter 20, but an interesting theory about Yamata.

Rei forgetting her birthday is a sad thing, but makes more sense when you realize her general routine regarding said birthday. Sadness all around really v_v

[Rater202]

I'm just saying, President Yamata and Lord Orochi int he same book?

Unless there's also a Prime Minster No and they're all related, I'm gonna assume that they're the same person.

[The Fury]

...Forgetting your own birthday? Is that sad? It seems like it would be sad.

The bit with Samson's picture, however? Definitly sad.

I've forgotten my own birthday before... Is that sad? I don't know. I feel kind of neutral about it. Maybe that's why I didn't comment about it in my readthrough.

Since there haven't been any objections to it, I'll get going on Chapter Twenty-One.

Our chapter opens with Rei approaching a rather innocuous-looking house. One that has bloody footprints leading up to it. No telling what Kestrel has in that house with him. An ONY Security team? More mnemonic puppets? Too late to turn back now. So Rei calls out to Kestrel. It's time to make a deal. Kestrel comes out with Chloe in hand, and let's just say that no one will ever accuse Kestrel of being too gentle with her. He's gripping her elbow while holding another ferromancy-made sword to her throat.

The ball's in Kestrel's court now, so he orders Rei to put her hands up and drop to her knees. Rei complies because... well, what else can she do? If Kestrel weren't a killer, maybe she could try talking her way out of this. However, it doesn't seem like Kestrel has a better nature to appeal to. As for Chloe... Rei still sees a spark of defiance in her. Despite everything, Chloe has not been broken. Not to say that she's not nervous. Chloe manages to stammer, "Wh--why... why are you doing this."

Rei seems to like this tactic. Get Kestrel talking. Maybe stall for time. So she presses the question. Unfortunately this is Kestrel we're talking about. It was hard to get him talking when he seemed like an ordinary, if shy teenage boy. It's no surprise that he's less than forthcoming now that the mask is off. That's maddening enough, and he's so smug about it too. With his mirthless grin as he says, "Why should I tell you?"

That gets Rei even angrier, to the point that she has to push her anger down to keep from generating fire. Kestrel notices this and menaces Chloe with his sword, threatening to kill her if Rei lets her pyromancy out. Kestrel presses the saber on Chloe and even draws blood to make sure that Rei knows that he's serious. Then comes the really tense moment. Kestrel asks how he can trust Rei's intentions. After all, she was told to come alone. Her allies have been intercepted. They're all going to die. No, Rei. That's not your pyromancy, that's just your palms sweating.

Let's see how Verde is doing! When we last left her she had met a woman that in likelihood is a mnemonic puppet in disguise. This is right before she spots a flash of steel in the corner of her eye. So we catch up with Verde as she gets her face sliced open while she quietly curses her own lack of awareness. She's got a few surprises though, Verde's a mage! So she pulls out a magic circle she drew on a piece of paper and says the activation word-- "Klingenluft!" (In case you were wondering, it's "blade air" in German. At least this is what Google translate tells me.) Anyway, this generates a gust of green wind strong enough to push Verde's attacker back a solid fifteen feet. Which is impressive, but the attacker is able to close the gap, slice Verde's paper magic circle and even get her hand a little bit.

Just when you thought the mnemonic puppets couldn't get any more unnerving, this one chooses to up the ante. Now, if this woman were human, she'd probably drop the act about trying to find her son. After all, it wouldn't fool anyone at this point. She doesn't though. She keeps asking "Won't you help me find my son?" and keeps the same expression of concerned desperation. After all, she's only acting out a memory from the blood that made her disguise. Basically playing a recording. So the puppet acts out the part of a concerned mother. While attacking Verde over and over with a knife.

This time Verde gets her Klingenluft spell off at much closer range and it now is strong enough to launch the puppet into a wall with enough force to actually crater it. Bits of the puppet's disguise have been ripped away, exposing the red crystalline skeleton underneath. Since it seems to be dead, Verde drops her backpack and gets to work patching herself up. Only... no, the puppet's not dead and it's still coming after her. The mnemonic puppet's body contorts unnaturally, complete with creaking sounds and a voice that the text describes as being like a broken disc. "H-help me fi-find my son-n-n." The puppet is able to drop Verde to the ground. Verde tries to scramble away, but the puppet stabs downward, and yeah... It gets her.

Let's see how Ella and Aria are doing! Now, as a reminder, they're sort of holding down home base. Aria is taking the matter in stride, while poor Ella is about half an inch away from a panic attack. That's when there was a knock at the door. Aria opens it to a man that looks a great deal like an older Kestrel. If you're thinking that this is the second mnemonic puppet that Kestrel sent out... yep. As it happens though, he acts out being Kestrel's concerned dad. After all, he does look the part. Ella's already suspicious of this guy but notes that there's not much she can do. She's not a wind mage like Verde, she's not a pyromancer like Aria or Rei, she doesn't even have Rei's boxing experience. Ella has already noted that she doesn't even like play-hitting. What she does have is ballet training, blood-reading and an umbrella. But what's she going to do? Hit this guy with her umbrella like The Penguin? Pirouette at him?

Aria seems to have a plan though. She invites Puppet-dad in for coffee. It is cold after all, and coffee is a great way to warm up. Seriously, coffee is awesome. Aria even offers Puppet-dad some leftover pancakes and sends Ella off to fix a cup of coffee. Ella notes that doing a complete blood-reading would involve prolonged contact, but... If she could briefly brush against this guy, she could get a quick scan of him. Aria keeps Puppet-dad talking while Ella nervously sets down the cup of coffee. She's able to brush against his hand as he takes the cup. She expected some kind of demon or mancer, but in her reading she sees... nothing. In that moment she knows that this is a puppet. So Ella knows the threat she and Aria are facing and it's thanks to coffee. Because coffee is awesome.

Aria continues to play the part of the clueless mom, guessing that wherever Kestrel is, he's probably with Rei, which is technically true I guess. Any minute, she expects that their kids will call them. Puppet-dad agrees and says that he has his phone on vibrate and takes something out of his pocket under the table and looks down at it. Aria can't see what it is from her vantage point, but Ella can and it takes all she has to not scream. It's a gun. Pointed right at Aria. How's coffee going to get them out of this mess?

Let's see how Gamma's doing. Now, where we last left him he decided to take a little detour and kill some ONY Security Force guys. He takes a moment to pull some combat boots off one of the soldiers he killed. His feet are getting chilly after all. There are a total of five Security Force soldiers. Not really enough to deal with something like Gamma. They're able to get a few shots off, but Gamma makes short work of the first four. It's done in an impressively described action scene, which I won't get into too much detail here. However, Gamma takes a moment to inspect how he's holding up. He's in a bit of pain and there's some wetness under his bandages. Some of his wounds must have opened up again. Then there's some bullet holes... Crud.

This chapter is all about leaving our heroes in a bad place where it remains unclear if they can get out of it. It seems certain that none of them will get out of it unscathed, but they might make it out alive. Who's more screwed?

Chloe? Well, she's only valuable to Kestrel as far as she can make Rei compliant. He'd happily kill her without a second thought.

Rei? Orochi would prefer her alive, but it that's too much trouble... dead might still work.

Verde? She's been stabbed. And even if she's still alive, she's facing a relentless opponent that's going to keep coming after her.

Aria? Has a gun aimed at her under a table.

Ella? If Puppet-dad shoots Aria, it's already been made clear that Ella's no match for an implacable construct with a gun.

Gamma? He's been shot. Maybe he'll get shot again. Maybe several times.

Needless to say, it's not looking great for anyone. Nobody's finished yet though, so we'll see how things shake out in the next chapter.

By the way, we only have three more chapters left. I had a couple ideas for which book we could cover next. I've already discussed it with Zodi and I got what she would prefer. I was wondering what other people's thoughts on the matter were. If y'all want, I can bring up what my two choices are later.

In the meantime, next I know what to do-- read Chapter Twenty-Two.

[Ibrinar]

So she pulls out a magic circle she drew on a piece of paper and says the activation word-- "Klingenluft!" (In case you were wondering, it's "blade air" in German. At least this is what Google translate tells me.) .

I would translate it the same way, I think that even sounds a bit weird/awkward to a similar degree in both languages.

[The Fury]

I would translate it the same way, I think that even sounds a bit weird/awkward to a similar degree in both languages.

If you say so. I felt that I should be forthcoming about using Google translate since I don't speak German and almost never hear spoken German. As such, I can't be sure what does and doesn't sound weird. "Blade air" does sound like it could be the name of a special attack from an anime though, which seems sort of on brand for this book.

In any case, thanks for weighing in on this.

[LaZodiac]

I'll go out and say that I do have people who speak the language who I can ask for advice... and they are useless and incapable of telling me how to properly construct the things I want to construct so I also more or less went with google translate and piecing together things from my own (barely there, basic as heck) understanding of language rules. Blade Air is wat I was going for with Klingenluft so I'm glad it got across, though it can also be translated as Chiming Air which I believe is brought up in book at some point and given an in universe explanation for why it is called that.

There's a very good chance that for Hidden Embers I'll find someone who is capable of understanding what I need help with when it comes to language use, and I'll make an aside of Verde not really 100% catching all the nuance at first.

[Mith]

I'll go out and say that I do have people who speak the language who I can ask for advice... and they are useless and incapable of telling me how to properly construct the things I want to construct so I also more or less went with google translate and piecing together things from my own (barely there, basic as heck) understanding of language rules. Blade Air is wat I was going for with Klingenluft so I'm glad it got across, though it can also be translated as Chiming Air which I believe is brought up in book at some point and given an in universe explanation for why it is called that.

There's a very good chance that for Hidden Embers I'll find someone who is capable of understanding what I need help with when it comes to language use, and I'll make an aside of Verde not really 100% catching all the nuance at first.

The below comes with the caveat of "Zodi may have already planned for all of this, and I will have to wait for the second book for confirmation."

With what information we have, one cannot be sure if the use of a different language for the spells is fundamentally necessary for a trigger word, or just because that was the language the book was written in. For all we know, the word choice is more to be "invocative" of the spell function (as depicted in the magic circle) to basically add the final "intent" to the spell to work. Which means that in practise, Verde doesn't actually need to use a different language outside of say hiding what the spell does (good reason to become fluent in an uncommon language), or that actual vocalisation isn't required with sufficient discipline.

[Ibrinar]

I'll go out and say that I do have people who speak the language who I can ask for advice... and they are useless and incapable of telling me how to properly construct the things I want to construct so I also more or less went with google translate and piecing together things from my own (barely there, basic as heck) understanding of language rules. Blade Air is wat I was going for with Klingenluft so I'm glad it got across, though it can also be translated as Chiming Air which I believe is brought up in book at some point and given an in universe explanation for why it is called that.

There's a very good chance that for Hidden Embers I'll find someone who is capable of understanding what I need help with when it comes to language use, and I'll make an aside of Verde not really 100% catching all the nuance at first.

Personally I think switching the word order would have sounded a bit better*. Luftklinge(n) sounds better to me as noun combination and klingen is a verb so klingen Luft ~= chime air. Luftklinge would be either a command to chime (when split in two words) or a singular air blade. Luftklingen air blades and imo still okay for the other meaning but ymmv.

But as Mith said depending on story context of the usage not being perfect might even make more sense.

edit:* I think it is because for such double noun combos the material/content modifier tends to come first. Like Steinhaufen = stone heap, if you switch the word order you usually don't use it without some extra word like heap of stone, well that doesn't need an inbetween word in german but just saying haufen Steine works maybe in very casual speech but usually you would at least say Ein Haufen Steine.

So Klingenluft sounds like air made out of blades to me not a blade made of air.

[LaZodiac]

Personally I think switching the word order would have sounded a bit better*. Luftklinge(n) sounds better to me as noun combination and klingen is a verb so klingen Luft ~= chime air. Luftklinge would be either a command to chime (when split in two words) or a singular air blade. Luftklingen air blades and imo still okay for the other meaning but ymmv.

But as Mith said depending on story context of the usage not being perfect might even make more sense.

edit:* I think it is because for such double noun combos the material/content modifier tends to come first. Like Steinhaufen = stone heap, if you switch the word order you usually don't use it without some extra word like heap of stone, well that doesn't need an inbetween word in german but just saying haufen Steine works maybe in very casual speech but usually you would at least say Ein Haufen Steine.

So Klingenluft sounds like air made out of blades to me not a blade made of air.


That is interesting, and I'll be sure to give it some thought. Mith's got the general idea of it though, the phrases needed to cast the spells are unique to the spell as written so Verde's magic is in Exovan because that is the spellbook she learned from. The issue for me is that... I mean I'm only fluent in English, and as a writer Luftklingen has worse mouthfeel than Klingenluft personally? Like if you were to say it outloud, I mean. Which is ultimately the problem- accuracy or "it feels better this way" is likely going to be the fight I have to take with every spell, and it's a difficult one.

That being said, "air made of blades" is... actually rather evocative and correct for what Klingenluft is meant to be as a spell, it's a burst of wind that slices things apart after all (or at least tries to). So maybe this is all moot and I should trust my judgement. This is the part of writing that is difficult!

[Ibrinar]

That is interesting, and I'll be sure to give it some thought. Mith's got the general idea of it though, the phrases needed to cast the spells are unique to the spell as written so Verde's magic is in Exovan because that is the spellbook she learned from. The issue for me is that... I mean I'm only fluent in English, and as a writer Luftklingen has worse mouthfeel than Klingenluft personally? Like if you were to say it outloud, I mean. Which is ultimately the problem- accuracy or "it feels better this way" is likely going to be the fight I have to take with every spell, and it's a difficult one.

That being said, "air made of blades" is... actually rather evocative and correct for what Klingenluft is meant to be as a spell, it's a burst of wind that slices things apart after all (or at least tries to). So maybe this is all moot and I should trust my judgement. This is the part of writing that is difficult!

Honestly lots of media with foreign names sounds a bit weird to people who speak the language natively and is usually no big deal the main audience doesn't know it anyway and I don't think most who know are bothered. About mouthfeel I don't even knew if I pronounce it the same way as someone speaking only english so its hard to judge^^ (and mouthfeel wise I prefer wind over luft anyway though I suppose luft is the element and wind just air doing something.)

[LaZodiac]

Honestly lots of media with foreign names sounds a bit weird to people who speak the language natively and is usually no big deal the main audience doesn't know it anyway and I don't think most who know are bothered. About mouthfeel I don't even knew if I pronounce it the same way as someone speaking only english so its hard to judge^^ (and mouthfeel wise I prefer wind over luft anyway though I suppose luft is the element and wind just air doing something.)

I say it how the voice sample for the German voice in Google Translate says it. You can click the little speaker and it plays it, which you can test out here. (https://translate.google.com/?client=firefox-b-d&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&client=tw-ob#en/de/blade%20air)

That said you have a point that it's usually not a big deal, I just am a stickler for details sometimes!

[Rater202]

Ahh, high school. Glad that's over.

But it's coming from a place of love, which makes it better, I guess.

I think a typo got past editing. "dayecause." Unless that's some kind of slang it should be "day because" or "day 'cause," right?

Anyway, Verde kind of reminds me of Missy "Vista" Biron from the Prahumans series. Tiny Girl (in the first story, she's 12-13 and a 'late bloomer') who is none the less both one of the most badass and experienced and one of the most powerful characters in the series. the main difference is that Verde seems to be respected. They're even both blondes who primarily wear the color green. I'm wondering if the perceived similarity is influencing my read of Verde(particularly the theory last chapter about Verde ending up hella powerful later on.)

Though I have to say, I do like the aesthetic of a macho tiny-girl.

Kestral is still shady.

Rei boxed for two years? Yeah, I imagine that's gonna come up later.

"Rei used Fire Punch. It's super effective. Foe Kestral fainted."

Kestral's busy murdering that cop this weekend, me thinks.

The exchange between Rei. Ella, and Verde made me chuckle. I guess it'seasy to say that you'd say "yes or no" if you know that the answer will always be no... Though in real life I'd probably point out that there's a difference between being ace and being aroma.

...There's lots of ways to interpret the fortune and Ella's reaction to it.

Kestral was totally planning to kidnap Rei on the return trip to the nightclub, wasn't he?

As for chapter 21... I'll probably have more to say when I get there but right now my thoughts are mostly generic.

[LaZodiac]

Ahh, high school. Glad that's over.

But it's coming from a place of love, which makes it better, I guess.

I think a typo got past editing. "dayecause." Unless that's some kind of slang it should be "day because" or "day 'cause," right?

Anyway, Verde kind of reminds me of Missy "Vista" Biron from the Prahumans series. Tiny Girl (in the first story, she's 12-13 and a 'late bloomer') who is none the less both one of the most badass and experienced and one of the most powerful characters in the series. the main difference is that Verde seems to be respected. They're even both blondes who primarily wear the color green. I'm wondering if the perceived similarity is influencing my read of Verde(particularly the theory last chapter about Verde ending up hella powerful later on.)

Though I have to say, I do like the aesthetic of a macho tiny-girl.

Kestral is still shady.

Rei boxed for two years? Yeah, I imagine that's gonna come up later.

"Rei used Fire Punch. It's super effective. Foe Kestral fainted."

Kestral's busy murdering that cop this weekend, me thinks.

The exchange between Rei. Ella, and Verde made me chuckle. I guess it'seasy to say that you'd say "yes or no" if you know that the answer will always be no... Though in real life I'd probably point out that there's a difference between being ace and being aroma.

...There's lots of ways to interpret the fortune and Ella's reaction to it.

Kestral was totally planning to kidnap Rei on the return trip to the nightclub, wasn't he?

As for chapter 21... I'll probably have more to say when I get there but right now my thoughts are mostly generic.

I will say, more typos than I wish got past me, and I have intended to fix them but I lost track due to work and stuff >_>

Another difference is that Verde is not a late bloomer she's just medically a tiny person. Four foot nine is as much as she's getting.

I will say- Ella is Ace but she is not Aro, and that will be touched upon in Hidden Embers. She's still getting comfortable with them :smallwink:

Also, since it is finally done, I have some cool art to share everyone!

Rei! (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ed-LXybXYAEfDAd?format=png&name=900x900)

Verde! (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ed-LXyKXkAg8-VT?format=png&name=small)

Ella! (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ed-LayPXkAAX2wd?format=png&name=medium)

and Chloe! (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ed-LbbHWoAATJo3?format=png&name=medium)

They're here to kick ass and stuff! (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ed-m5JrWsAAQqSj?format=png&name=large)

[Mystic Muse]

As I've already mentioned in Discord, the art is really cool, Zodi!

So, Rei leaves the burnt out club, wondering to herself if that really just happened, even though she's pretty sure it did. She looks at her hands for the proof and thinks to herself "Huh. That really did just happen. What the actual-" And she's cut off, because you apparently get one F-bomb per book.

Verde comes running after her, since Rei let out a scream of...disbelief? Confusion and frustation? I guess kind of a scream of shock.

Rei comes home to dinner!...But it's 7:30, not 6:30, and both her and her mom are distinctly aware of this. Rei explains what happened, sort of. She doesn't say anything about the haunted club, but does mention the new students, and Aria somewhat rightly assumes that part of the reason that Rei got home is because of Goku Kestrel, the hot new guy.

Rei watches the news for a bit. ONY manufacturing, run by President Yamata, who sounds like a white-haired version of this dude (https://mtg.gamepedia.com/File:Yawgmoth,_Thran_Physician.png) but proooobably less evil, is talking about his company's new top of the line computer. I need a new desktop myself in the near future. Rei would like a new laptop, but doesn't have the funds. She does decide however, to go onto her slow laptop and look up the word gamma used, "mancer"

Since it's close to Rei's birthday, which she forgot in all the tumult today, she is obligated to watch a horror movie with her mom before she can look things up. The title is never mentioned, and all we know about it is that there's a DVD cover with a bloody hook on it. Is this based off of anything in particular? I would guess "I know what you did last summer" though would expect Aria to have slightly better taste (I've heard the first one is fine admittedly).

After the horribly scary movie, Rei goes up to her room to relax and train for the tournament of her favorite game on Saturday. She gets so high on the scoreboard while doing this kind of leisurely, she has a higher score than the next 3 on the scoreboard combined. Her most recent opponent is of course not happy about her getting a fatality Celestial Finish, and winning a perfect victory.

She decides to wait on looking things up, and probably just ask Gamma tomorrow. She eventually passes out on the floor, and has to be picked up and taken to bed by her mom at about 2 AM. Aria's happy she still can pick her daughter up, and suspects she won't be able to for much longer.

She walks back downstairs and sees a picture of her and her husband on their wedding day. Judging by the way she reacts, and says she wishes he could see his daughter, he died the day she was born. While I don't recall if it's established in the book, the fact I don't recall means it probably wasn't mentioned, and probably wasn't something simple like a car crash.

Thus ends chapter 4.

[Rater202]

Go Go gadget insomnia!Yeah, Tobacco-stench feeling normal is concerning in any context.

Kestral's planning an ambush.

...Oh, that was a poor choice on Rei's part. The one thing thugs hate more than a witness is a snitch.

...Shoryuken?

...I have to wonder if Kestral didn't set this up somehow to get past Rei's guard?

Aria's still a mom. That's actually a reasonable punishment but if you're gonna give her a thumbs up for breaking the other guy's nose you might as well not punish at all.

...Aria's seen some fracked up sugar, hasn't she? House that's not at the listed address, fighting at Rei's age, shrugging off graphic horror movies?

Ah, hell. Is she a previous experiment? Is that why ONY is after Rei? BEcuase they don't know if they can get Aria but her daughter is close enough?

"Violence hurt" gets my nomination for understatement of the year.

...Pyromancy can heal? Fire=Life connotations+1

Indiana Rei and the Closet of Doom! Search for the lost cool-jacket!

Aria is obviously lying about the skull mask.

You said the decorative flowers were based on the very beautiful ones in your home town? If so, I can't help but think that their fading as winter approaches is symbolic of something. The end of Rei's innoncense(in the sense of ignorance of the supernatural and, in chapters to come, realizing how dangerous she is and how much danger just having powers puts her in?)

Or maybe Highschool english is just coming back to me and I'm seeing stuff what ain't there.

Ahh, friendship moment.

Oooh. Painful foreshadowing. Rei, you're gonna regret wishing that in a couple chapters.

Cliche exchange at end of bet, but some things are cliche for a reason.

I want to go into chapter 8, but I should probably save it.

[LaZodiac]

Go Go gadget insomnia!Yeah, Tobacco-stench feeling normal is concerning in any context.

Kestral's planning an ambush.

...Oh, that was a poor choice on Rei's part. The one thing thugs hate more than a witness is a snitch.

...Shoryuken?

...I have to wonder if Kestral didn't set this up somehow to get past Rei's guard?

Aria's still a mom. That's actually a reasonable punishment but if you're gonna give her a thumbs up for breaking the other guy's nose you might as well not punish at all.

...Aria's seen some fracked up sugar, hasn't she? House that's not at the listed address, fighting at Rei's age, shrugging off graphic horror movies?

Ah, hell. Is she a previous experiment? Is that why ONY is after Rei? BEcuase they don't know if they can get Aria but her daughter is close enough?

"Violence hurt" gets my nomination for understatement of the year.

...Pyromancy can heal? Fire=Life connotations+1

Indiana Rei and the Closet of Doom! Search for the lost cool-jacket!

Aria is obviously lying about the skull mask.

You said the decorative flowers were based on the very beautiful ones in your home town? If so, I can't help but think that their fading as winter approaches is symbolic of something. The end of Rei's innoncense(in the sense of ignorance of the supernatural and, in chapters to come, realizing how dangerous she is and how much danger just having powers puts her in?)

Or maybe Highschool english is just coming back to me and I'm seeing stuff what ain't there.

Ahh, friendship moment.

Oooh. Painful foreshadowing. Rei, you're gonna regret wishing that in a couple chapters.

Cliche exchange at end of bet, but some things are cliche for a reason.

I want to go into chapter 8, but I should probably save it.


One could argue that Aria presenting a punishment (for getting involved in danger) but giving her an aside assurance that her mom is not mad about her motive (protecting people and beating up *******s) is a very complicated Mom Action. Parenting is hard, sometimes you've gotta admonish with one hand and praise with the other, because "trying to do good" is good, even if getting into danger is bad, and punishing "getting into danger to do good" is... a complicated thing!

Hah! Someone noticed the implication that Aria uses pyromantic heat to soothe injuries and stuff. It's not directly healing, but it is following the principle that if you've got sore muscles, a nice warm patch will make you feel better.

Okay so, here's a thing I want to say Rater- if you see something in my work that seems symbolic like the beautiful flowers fading being a representation of Rei's learning how dangerous she is and thus is sort of a Loss of Innocence type thing, regardless of me having intended it or not, it is totally valid to see that. While yes sometimes flowers fade because it is slowly becoming winter, the timing and framing of it is undeniably there.

Now, unlike older books where the author doesn't exist to tell you whether it was intended or not, I am alive and present and I can tell you "when I was writing this I hadn't considered that, but looking back at it I must have had this sort of symbolism in mind on at least a sub conscious level because it is clearly there and present and rather fitting."

That, at least, is my take on it. Which as you yourself said, could be all my English classes in school coming back to me :smalltongue:

[Rater202]

One could argue that Aria presenting a punishment (for getting involved in danger) but giving her an aside assurance that her mom is not mad about her motive (protecting people and beating up *******s) is a very complicated Mom Action. Parenting is hard, sometimes you've gotta admonish with one hand and praise with the other, because "trying to do good" is good, even if getting into danger is bad, and punishing "getting into danger to do good" is... a complicated thing!

Hah! Someone noticed the implication that Aria uses pyromantic heat to soothe injuries and stuff. It's not directly healing, but it is following the principle that if you've got sore muscles, a nice warm patch will make you feel better.

Okay so, here's a thing I want to say Rater- if you see something in my work that seems symbolic like the beautiful flowers fading being a representation of Rei's learning how dangerous she is and thus is sort of a Loss of Innocence type thing, regardless of me having intended it or not, it is totally valid to see that. While yes sometimes flowers fade because it is slowly becoming winter, the timing and framing of it is undeniably there.

Now, unlike older books where the author doesn't exist to tell you whether it was intended or not, I am alive and present and I can tell you "when I was writing this I hadn't considered that, but looking back at it I must have had this sort of symbolism in mind on at least a sub conscious level because it is clearly there and present and rather fitting."

That, at least, is my take on it. Which as you yourself said, could be all my English classes in school coming back to me :smalltongue:

I meant more in conjunction with a punishment that minor... Though I guess that can be chalked down to my being an "intent" person over a "consequences" person.

On symbolism... Yeah, I'm the same with the fanfics I write. Sometimes someone will point something out and I'mall like 'yeah, that was totally on purpose.'

Anyway, chapter 8...Chloe totally chose a character specifically because it was a perfect counter to Rei's favorite, didn't she?

Resetting the round? Maybe I'm too used to the Pokemon Anime where the rules of Confrances seem rigged so Ash loses or the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG banning any strategy that requires more creativity than hitting the other guy harder, but I wasn't expecting tournament officials to be that reasonable. I wasn't expecting Rei to be disqualified over her controller breaking, but I figured that they'd continue the round as is and make her eat the damage she took because of the unresponsive controller. I mean, with a tricky trapster high-skill character, Chloe was gonna lose anyway with the break, but this is a remarkably fair rulingall things considered.

Of course, Chloe would not be wrong to feel like she was "robbed."

Pyromacy, or just Mancy, burns calories? Makes sense, I guess. That energy has to come from somewhere.

Ella has a perfectly reasonable reaction to Rei dropping a bombshell about the fight and also Rei's lack of ****s about it.

...I'm a little ashamed to admit this, but Verde saying that Rei is bruised in her "face area" immediately made me think of something that Lanipator said
while drunk off his ass in one of Team Four Star's Bloodborne streams.

...I think Rei broke Ella.

And we we get the secret identity delima.

"I was mistaken, you're no cancer. Not one I'd know, anyway." So Gamma has no experience with Pyromancers? Or Rei's somehow differant in than other mancers in a way that confuses Gamma's senses?

Ooh, this not good. I can't blame Ella and Verde but, still. Yeah.

Ooh. Cherry red flame? Red fire usually comes from specific chemicals being burned, but when it isn't it's actually burning less hot than normal orange fire. Either says interesting things right now.

A lot happens this chapter, and it ends on a cliffhanger so I guess I'll move onto"Dark glow" is such an odd turn of phrase. It's a self-contradictory concept that's hard to picture in my mind.

Gamma is super fracked up in the head, isn't he?

And Rei's temper leading to serious injuries in others is established. You foreshadowed the Hell out of Rei burning Chloe, didn't you?

Verde gives way more of a damn here than on the cover, but continues to snark.

"Pyromancy, do the thing!" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojhTu9aAa_Y)

"Magic hobo" is my new favorite phrase... Though "Hobo" is being used wrong. a hobo was someone who was homeless and traveling the country, supporting themselves with Odd Jobs, looking for long term work so they could settle down and have a home. Gamma would either be a tramp, someone who travels but isn't looking for work and supports themselves by begging, stealing, or they're homeless by choice and have money without having to work, or a bum, someone who is homeless,stays in one location, and doesn't work, depending on if he was planning to settle here or if he was gonna move along once his wounds healed. I'm not expecting a bunch of modernist teenagers to know that, though, I just felt like sharing trivia.

For completion sake, a "punk" was a boy or young man hobo in an aprenticeship with an adult hobo, which overtime gained a connotation that the punk was allowing themselves to be, uh, taken advantage of, so to speak... I don't have stats for how accurate that is, which is when Punk became an insult, and there's really no special name for someone who works but doesn't have a home, that's just homeless and is more of a recent thing.

The meanings of the words tramp and punk have changed drastically in the last century.

Oh, yeah, Gamma is completely fracked up. Dude needs a doctor buthe's probably never getting a doctor. It's been noted that his wounds smell of rot? Even with disinfectant those wounds are probably infected, cleaning them's just putting a poster over a hole in the wall. He needs some penicillin or something.

...He's not making it out of this book alive, is he?

The puppets are magic, but we know that they were created by a Mancer? So, they'renot the same thing, but there's overlap? Or maybe being a Ferromncer strong enough to control the colucular iron in blood gave Kestral somekind of insight into how to make puppets from blood?

Gonna start another metaphysics discussion up in here.

Beast men and demons exist, but demons aren't 'demons' but a forgotten bread of humanity, albeit a monstrous one?

I'd pay for a book that's just the history and lore of this setting. This stuff is honestly fascinating.

...Rei, be careful saying stuff like that. It's gotten me in trouble.

And that last segment with Gamma just kind of hurts.

[Mith]

One could argue that Aria presenting a punishment (for getting involved in danger) but giving her an aside assurance that her mom is not mad about her motive (protecting people and beating up *******s) is a very complicated Mom Action. Parenting is hard, sometimes you've gotta admonish with one hand and praise with the other, because "trying to do good" is good, even if getting into danger is bad, and punishing "getting into danger to do good" is... a complicated thing!

Hah! Someone noticed the implication that Aria uses pyromantic heat to soothe injuries and stuff. It's not directly healing, but it is following the principle that if you've got sore muscles, a nice warm patch will make you feel better.

Okay so, here's a thing I want to say Rater- if you see something in my work that seems symbolic like the beautiful flowers fading being a representation of Rei's learning how dangerous she is and thus is sort of a Loss of Innocence type thing, regardless of me having intended it or not, it is totally valid to see that. While yes sometimes flowers fade because it is slowly becoming winter, the timing and framing of it is undeniably there.

Now, unlike older books where the author doesn't exist to tell you whether it was intended or not, I am alive and present and I can tell you "when I was writing this I hadn't considered that, but looking back at it I must have had this sort of symbolism in mind on at least a sub conscious level because it is clearly there and present and rather fitting."

That, at least, is my take on it. Which as you yourself said, could be all my English classes in school coming back to me :smalltongue:

Huh, I had missed the implication that Aria basically did reiki along with the general heat treatment to ease bruising and minor injuries.

[LaZodiac]

Anyway, chapter 8[SPOILER]...Chloe totally chose a character specifically because it was a perfect counter to Rei's favorite, didn't she?

...I think Rei broke Ella.

Ooh. Cherry red flame? Red fire usually comes from specific chemicals being burned, but when it isn't it's actually burning less hot than normal orange fire. Either says interesting things right now.

A lot happens this chapter, and it ends on a cliffhanger so I guess I'll move onto


And Rei's temper leading to serious injuries in others is established. You foreshadowed the Hell out of Rei burning Chloe, didn't you?

Verde gives way more of a damn here than on the cover, but continues to snark.

"Pyromancy, do the thing!" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojhTu9aAa_Y)

"Magic hobo" is my new favorite phrase... Though "Hobo" is being used wrong. a hobo was someone who was homeless and traveling the country, supporting themselves with Odd Jobs, looking for long term work so they could settle down and have a home. Gamma would either be a tramp, someone who travels but isn't looking for work and supports themselves by begging, stealing, or they're homeless by choice and have money without having to work, or a bum, someone who is homeless,stays in one location, and doesn't work, depending on if he was planning to settle here or if he was gonna move along once his wounds healed. I'm not expecting a bunch of modernist teenagers to know that, though, I just felt like sharing trivia.

For completion sake, a "punk" was a boy or young man hobo in an aprenticeship with an adult hobo, which overtime gained a connotation that the punk was allowing themselves to be, uh, taken advantage of, so to speak... I don't have stats for how accurate that is, which is when Punk became an insult, and there's really no special name for someone who works but doesn't have a home, that's just homeless and is more of a recent thing.

The meanings of the words tramp and punk have changed drastically in the last century.

Oh, yeah, Gamma is completely fracked up. Dude needs a doctor buthe's probably never getting a doctor. It's been noted that his wounds smell of rot? Even with disinfectant those wounds are probably infected, cleaning them's just putting a poster over a hole in the wall. He needs some penicillin or something.

...He's not making it out of this book alive, is he?

The puppets are magic, but we know that they were created by a Mancer? So, they'renot the same thing, but there's overlap? Or maybe being a Ferromncer strong enough to control the colucular iron in blood gave Kestral somekind of insight into how to make puppets from blood?

Gonna start another metaphysics discussion up in here.

Beast men and demons exist, but demons aren't 'demons' but a forgotten bread of humanity, albeit a monstrous one?

I'd pay for a book that's just the history and lore of this setting. This stuff is honestly fascinating.

...Rei, be careful saying stuff like that. It's gotten me in trouble.

And that last segment with Gamma just kind of hurts.

Chloe absolutely chose her main to contest against Rei. RIVALS!

Ella's reaction takes on a deeper meaning when you factor in stuff we're gonna learn in chapter 22, and already learned a bit of in chapter 21. But yeah, poor Ella, broken by the irresponsible nature of her new friend.

That's something that'll get brought up later, but for the most part unless something Bad is going on, an element that is coming from a mancer takes on a specific colour befitting who they are. Rei's are cherry red, Aria's are white, and so on.

I foreshadowed the HECK out of what Rei does to Chloe! It's an intense scene and it needs the build up to it!

Thank you for the cool history lesson! I definitely went with the term magic hobo because it sounds hilarious though.

Rei did use some disinfectant beyond just cleaning the injuries but... yeah, Gamma's really not doing great. He'll need something a bit more to stop from succumbing to these injuries, I imagine.

I will note; we have not received any confirmation in universe that the mnemonic puppets were made by the Ferromancer. This is one of those things that isn't super elaborated on in this book which'll probably get touched on more later, but puppets can be built by anyone. Mechanically, magically, or trough mancy, though mancer made puppets are less durable than mechanical or magically made ones since the mancer has to be actively powering it for it to keep going. Mnemonic Puppets, which I will say ARE made of crystallized waste-blood and or materials, are not made by Ferromancy. It's definitely more of a factory-born situation for them.

Also gonna make a note about wanting a lore book; while I don't have one in mind, we're gonna get deeper into the setting in Hidden Embers, and I'm excited to hear people are interested enough in it to be that excited about learning more! Humans, Demons, and Beastmen, but two of these three went into hiding For Some Reason. I wonder...?

[Rater202]

Chloe absolutely chose her main to contest against Rei. RIVALS!

Ella's reaction takes on a deeper meaning when you factor in stuff we're gonna learn in chapter 22, and already learned a bit of in chapter 21. But yeah, poor Ella, broken by the irresponsible nature of her new friend.

That's something that'll get brought up later, but for the most part unless something Bad is going on, an element that is coming from a mancer takes on a specific colour befitting who they are. Rei's are cherry red, Aria's are white, and so on.

I foreshadowed the HECK out of what Rei does to Chloe! It's an intense scene and it needs the build up to it!

Thank you for the cool history lesson! I definitely went with the term magic hobo because it sounds hilarious though.

Rei did use some disinfectant beyond just cleaning the injuries but... yeah, Gamma's really not doing great. He'll need something a bit more to stop from succumbing to these injuries, I imagine.

I will note; we have not received any confirmation in universe that the mnemonic puppets were made by the Ferromancer. This is one of those things that isn't super elaborated on in this book which'll probably get touched on more later, but puppets can be built by anyone. Mechanically, magically, or trough mancy, though mancer made puppets are less durable than mechanical or magically made ones since the mancer has to be actively powering it for it to keep going. Mnemonic Puppets, which I will say ARE made of crystallized waste-blood and or materials, are not made by Ferromancy. It's definitely more of a factory-born situation for them.

Also gonna make a note about wanting a lore book; while I don't have one in mind, we're gonna get deeper into the setting in Hidden Embers, and I'm excited to hear people are interested enough in it to be that excited about learning more! Humans, Demons, and Beastmen, but two of these three went into hiding For Some Reason. I wonder...?

Geeze, why would groups of people who suddenly had massive drops in population start hiding themselves from 'ordinary' humans?

Based on human history? The answer that comes to my mind starts with 'g' and ends with 'enocide.'

[LaZodiac]

Hehehe... lets just say I have a lot of stuff to get through before we fully find out the answer to that question~

Which is about as direct as I'm going to get on the "what caused the supernatural to become a secret?" theory crafting. I love seeing people try and figure out what'll happen and what the secrets are, but I'm trying really hard not to directly point any out to avoid telling my hand, so to speak.

[Rater202]

Yeah, "my dreams are always on fire... I thought that was normal?"

Watto? Take it away.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5EmpGOKB4A

Ella? No. *beats Ella over the head with a newspaper* "Maybe think of the world as one big fight" is bad advice. That's a toxic mindset.

Yeah, Pyromancy seems to draw on Rei's bodily reserves of energy. If she's gonna make using it a habit they she needs to move somewhere with a decent variety of affordable buffets.

If fluff is coming of a plush toy then... Eh.

Joke about friend's shortcomings are a situation thing and... Damn it.

Roasting a chicken? Is Aria the type to save the carcass for homemade stocks?

Hmm. I think most people would have crashed pretty soon after something like that. Rei, Verde, and Ella must be good friends if she didn't crash till after she got home.

...Zodi? Are you Rei? Is this you publishing stories from your journal with the names changed adapted as fiction?

It's been mentioned that Chloe's father wants her to be an "Idol" type... And from the reviews of later chapters we know that Chloe's parents made the decision to terminate the girl's friendship and forced Chloe to make 'friends' with Heather and the Heathers. I'm wondering if Chloe's parents are the kind ofparent who would drastically improve their child's life by disappearing and never coming back.

Heather and the Heathers are, in fact, stuck up entitled bitches who deserve to be burned far more than Chloe does.

Chloe's been made to believe that using people is normal. See above re: Watto. Chloe needs a clean break from her "friends" and probably her parents. ASAHP.

It as at this point that I am certain that my foreknowledge of Kestral is not making me read the text as more shadey and predator than it is. I'd suggest that Robert Pattinson play him in the movie, but I think he'd get mad at being typcasted as a predatory, abusive hunk.

[LaZodiac]

Hehe... about this being my journal I have only to say; no comment.

There are... other reasons why Robert Patterson might not work for a live action version of Kestrel. He'd probably make a good voice for him which sucks because I'd want to hire someone who actually matches Kestrel's appearance for voice-work because I'm absolutely not going to let the (unfortunately, so far unless you count Rei and Ella both being half Kaigan) only POC character in my novel get played by a popular white guy.

[Rater202]

...I'm gonna be hones, I hand't realized that Kestral was a POC.

I should probably go back and reread his introduction scene...

Okay, yeah "Dark brown eyes that matched his skin-tone..." Completely overlooked that.

Sorry.

Rei, if there's liquid fire running up your arms and spine, you need to go to the hospital because that sounds like a potentially debilitating condition.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest, if I didn't already know about the training later in the book, Rei's deciding to ask Gamma for training would have had me expecting a "can you help me learn Water Bending?" "Sorry, I'm an Air Bender" type moment.

"Best friends because we live next to each other" is probably more common than not. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but it seems to be working out here.

"I atent dead yet!"

...It says weird things that 'burned, ashen, dusty, warped in places and smells vaugly of death' isn't a dealbreaker for whether or not something counts as a home.

Wouldn't a person sized tube count as furniture?

...Gamma tried to eat the cans? God damn he is feral.

Sarcasm is clearly Verde's forte.

Either Smiles Subs is really, really good or the fast food scene in this town is dead. I've never seen a sub shop that packed.

I still want to know if Kestral isn't using somekind of blood control to mess with Rei's brain chemistry to make her more attracted to him. She flat out admitted early on that she's more attracted to him than she should be.

Verde is good people.

...Yeah, I really don't think it's a good sign that people growing Mancers in tubes think that knowing how to rip someone's arm off is vital.

Verde clearly wants powers.

[Mith]

...I'm gonna be hones, I hand't realized that Kestral was a POC.

I should probably go back and reread his introduction scene...

Okay, yeah "Dark brown eyes that matched his skin-tone..." Completely overlooked that.

Sorry.

Rei, if there's liquid fire running up your arms and spine, you need to go to the hospital because that sounds like a potentially debilitating condition.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest, if I didn't already know about the training later in the book, Rei's deciding to ask Gamma for training would have had me expecting a "can you help me learn Water Bending?" "Sorry, I'm an Air Bender" type moment.

"Best friends because we live next to each other" is probably more common than not. I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but it seems to be working out here.

"I atent dead yet!"

...It says weird things that 'burned, ashen, dusty, warped in places and smells vaugly of death' isn't a dealbreaker for whether or not something counts as a home.

Wouldn't a person sized tube count as furniture?

...Gamma tried to eat the cans? God damn he is feral.

Sarcasm is clearly Verde's forte.

Either Smiles Subs is really, really good or the fast food scene in this town is dead. I've never seen a sub shop that packed.

I still want to know if Kestral isn't using somekind of blood control to mess with Rei's brain chemistry to make her more attracted to him. She flat out admitted early on that she's more attracted to him than she should be.

Verde is good people.

...Yeah, I really don't think it's a good sign that people growing Mancers in tubes think that knowing how to rip someone's arm off is vital.

Verde clearly wants powers.

1) I too missed that Kestrel was a POC. And I'll have read that paragraph many, many times by now. **** I hate it when I miss character descriptions like that.

2) I had assumed that Kestrel had a "magnetic personality".

[LaZodiac]

...I'm gonna be hones, I hand't realized that Kestral was a POC.

I should probably go back and reread his introduction scene...

Okay, yeah "Dark brown eyes that matched his skin-tone..." Completely overlooked that.

Sorry.

Rei, if there's liquid fire running up your arms and spine, you need to go to the hospital because that sounds like a potentially debilitating condition.

Okay, I'm gonna be honest, if I didn't already know about the training later in the book, Rei's deciding to ask Gamma for training would have had me expecting a "can you help me learn Water Bending?" "Sorry, I'm an Air Bender" type moment.

Wouldn't a person sized tube count as furniture?

...Gamma tried to eat the cans? God damn he is feral.

Sarcasm is clearly Verde's forte.

Either Smiles Subs is really, really good or the fast food scene in this town is dead. I've never seen a sub shop that packed.

I still want to know if Kestral isn't using somekind of blood control to mess with Rei's brain chemistry to make her more attracted to him. She flat out admitted early on that she's more attracted to him than she should be.

Verde is good people.

...Yeah, I really don't think it's a good sign that people growing Mancers in tubes think that knowing how to rip someone's arm off is vital.

Verde clearly wants powers.

Kestrel's skin colour is only mentioned like twice, and the first time fairly un-obviously, so no need to apologize! This genuinely happens to the best of us; I read all of... this one book, whose name I cannot remember, about a boy who unties a Gordian Knot and also runs from the white community to the black community in town and the entire book is about how we shouldn't judge people and I completely missed that half the entire cast was black. It happens! I also wish I could remember this book name so I could bring it up and everyone could tell me how obvious it was. EDIT: MANIAC MAGEE!

I'd argue a giant tube is not a piece of furniture, depending on the usage of said tube. Also yes, chompa the can. Gotta get at the inside food.

No joke, the line at the local subway has been outside the door at some points... which says a lot since it swerves in an S shape before hitting the door!

There's a couple factors as to why Rei is so hot for Kestrel. The combination of rugged, handsome looks plus the obvious (to Rei, who is reading into Kestrel's responses and reactions) soft nature he has, plus the clearly protective streak since he saved Rei from getting hurt (even if it was kinda creepy how he beat them up but that's definitely not him that's just violence being scary right? Right?!) and his generally being a nice person to her hit her in all the right ways. He's just a hot teenage boy that just happens to match a fair number of criteria that Rei looks for in a partner, almost as if he was trying to learn who she is and present himself as that to her.

Verde is good people but also Verde dot png (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQ6vBXRWkAEY0aX.jpg).


1) I too missed that Kestrel was a POC. And I'll have read that paragraph many, many times by now. **** I hate it when I miss character descriptions like that.

2) I had assumed that Kestrel had a "magnetic personality".

As said above, don't sorry. It's just one of those things that wasn't mentioned as much as I thought, so it's harder to realize.

ooh, that's a good one.

[DataNinja]

I read all of... this one book, whose name I cannot remember, about a boy who unties a Gordian Knot and also runs from the white community to the black community in town and the entire book is about how we shouldn't judge people and I completely missed that half the entire cast was black. It happens! I also wish I could remember this book name so I could bring it up and everyone could tell me how obvious it was. EDIT: MANIAC MAGEE!

Verde is good people but also Verde dot png (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQ6vBXRWkAEY0aX.jpg).
Ah, Maniac Magee. Admittedly, the book mostly sticks in my mind, because my teacher the year after I read it's name was "M. Magee", so every time I looked at her nameplate, it reminded me of the book. :smalltongue:

Bahahahahaha. Yep, sounds like Verde.

[Rater202]

Kestrel's skin colour is only mentioned like twice, and the first time fairly un-obviously, so no need to apologize! This genuinely happens to the best of us; I read all of... this one book, whose name I cannot remember, about a boy who unties a Gordian Knot and also runs from the white community to the black community in town and the entire book is about how we shouldn't judge people and I completely missed that half the entire cast was black. It happens! I also wish I could remember this book name so I could bring it up and everyone could tell me how obvious it was. EDIT: MANIAC MAGEE!

I'd argue a giant tube is not a piece of furniture, depending on the usage of said tube. Also yes, chompa the can. Gotta get at the inside food.

No joke, the line at the local subway has been outside the door at some points... which says a lot since it swerves in an S shape before hitting the door!

There's a couple factors as to why Rei is so hot for Kestrel. The combination of rugged, handsome looks plus the obvious (to Rei, who is reading into Kestrel's responses and reactions) soft nature he has, plus the clearly protective streak since he saved Rei from getting hurt (even if it was kinda creepy how he beat them up but that's definitely not him that's just violence being scary right? Right?!) and his generally being a nice person to her hit her in all the right ways. He's just a hot teenage boy that just happens to match a fair number of criteria that Rei looks for in a partner, almost as if he was trying to learn who she is and present himself as that to her.

Verde is good people but also Verde dot png (https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQ6vBXRWkAEY0aX.jpg).



As said above, don't sorry. It's just one of those things that wasn't mentioned as much as I thought, so it's harder to realize.

ooh, that's a good one.

I read Maniac Magee in fith grade for class, never finished it, remembered it years later, got it for Christmas in high school so I could finish it, and ended up reading it cover to cover about three times a week.

To be fair, the fact that the town is literally split down the middle with all the black people on one side and all the white people on the other is surprisingly not as big a deal as you'd think. It's a background detail, there's one instance of a older black man yelling at Maniac that he needs to get back to West End where all the white people live when he's staying with a black family during a block party, and part of the final "arc" of the book is Maniac staying with the family of a bully who later turns into his friend who are all white trash and seem to genuinely beleive that come the summer all the Black people will come raiding like indians in an old western and they get over it.

For the entire rest of the book, it's just a kind of background detail. Other than where people live, there's really not much indication of whether a given person is black or white.

Which might actually be the point, now that I think about it. Maniac very clearly thinks that the segregation and racism are stupid whenever it comes up and had never been exposed to it before now. When he's told he's white he's like "the only thing on me that's white are my eyes and everyone's got that."Of course he's "color blind."

[The Fury]

Before we get into our next chapter, I'd like a chance for y'all to weigh in on which book I'll cover next. I've narrowed it down to two choices.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51tvNB6xcvL._SY445_QL70_ML2_.jpg

Aeon Legion by JP Beaubien. The Terrible Writing Advice guy. This is another YA Fantasy built largely on time travel. The main reasons I'm suggesting this is because it's a book that I've wanted to read for a while, it's by someone whose humor I appreciate, and I already own the book. The fact that it has kind of a unique premise is something of a selling point as well.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71AsL2EOOVL.jpg

Aaand After the Fall by EC Meyers. The RWBY book. I have my reservations about this one to be sure, but I also feel like it's something that I'd have a lot to say about. As most of you probably know, it follows the exploits of Team CVFY after the events of Volume Three of the series. I'll probably cover this book eventually if for no reason, I'm a little curious. Also, since I met Zodi on the RWBY threads, it seems weirdly appropriate.

I guess let me know if any of you have preferences about these two and we'll hash it out once we're done with Initial Sparks. If nothing else, I'd like to keep discussion of Initial Sparks going until Rater and Mystic Muse finish their readthroughs.

On that note, on to our next chapter.

Our chapter opens with Rei pleading with Kestrel and trying to keep her flames from coming out. The text describes tears "sizzling in her eyes," which I rather like since tears sometimes do feel like they're burning your eyes. She's also a pyromancer though, so her tears might literally be sizzling. Yet Rei still has to wonder how honest Kestrel is being. His earlier lines, Rei notes, indicate that he's aware that there are multiple people helping her. Yet he could still be lying to throw her off her game. It's a hard call to make. Though between Kestrel's mirthless grin, his self-satisfied confidence there's reason to fear the worst. In any case Kestrel is still menacing Chloe with a crude saber, so she's clearly not out of danger yet. For now Rei complies. Kestrel leaves Chloe and moves towards Rei.

What follows is pretty tense. Rei quietly looks for an opportunity to light this bozo on fire. How to do it without risking Chloe though? Although she's left behind, Chloe is being kept within striking range for Kestrel's saber. Also, Kestrel has already demonstrated to being pretty tough. Rei's pyromancy works well enough to put a teenage girl in the hospital, but Kestrel... Dude survived getting his arm ripped off. He even made a new one. Ferromancy aside, it's fair to say that Kestrel is not a normal teenager. For now, Rei decides to let Kestrel believe that he has the upper hand and tries to get him talking. Her friends forced her to let them come along, she says. Adding that they thought she'd never beat Kestrel alone. Since he's sooo kewl.

For his part, Kestrel admits that if Rei had her friends here, they might have been able to beat him. Rei just made a bad plan. Relying on her friends was a mistake. Too bad they underestimated him, right? Oh, and speaking of underestimating Kestrel is no longer paying any attention to Chloe. Chloe that has that scalpel that she's taking out of her pocket...

Rei keeps the charade going, telling Kestrel what he wants to hear. He buys it, because as near as he can tell, he's go Rei dead to rights and offers Rei a chance to come willingly. A chance to discard her friends an become stronger. A chance that Rei seemingly takes. Yet... even though Gamma and Verde are dealing with their own problems, Rei is not as alone as Kestrel thinks.

Ella is only barely keeping it together. As has been pretty firmly established, Ella is a sensitive person that gets spooked easily so a murder-puppet pointing a gun at Aria under the table has her barely able to contain her panic. The "ding" of the coffee pot going to sleep snaps Ella back to reality and gives her an idea. Aria's phone! Aria can use it to contact Rei! Or so she tells Aria so Puppet-dad will hear. Anything to make Puppet-dad to think that she and Aria are more useful alive. As Ella goes to the kitchen to get Aria's phone, she thinks to herself that puppets are dutiful to their orders without question, this one seems to have been told to find Rei since it keeps going back to that subject. So... Ella knows what puppets are and how they work.

For now, Ella types a warning on the phone before giving it to Aria. "Puppet. Has gun, under table. Aimed at stomach. I have plan." For now, Aria keeps Puppet-dad talking, telling him what he wants to hear. That Rei and Kestrel will be back shortly. Ella returns to the kitchen, where there are some bloody dishcloths an bandages from what happened to Gamma. Ella is a sanguimancer. Blood reading is one of tricks, another one is... something that she'd really rather not do. She takes the bloody dishcloth and after some hesitation bites down on it, ingesting some of the blood. Suddenly, Ella's senses become sharper and her muscles strain against themselves as they grow stronger. Ella actually has to restrain herself from going crazy with bloodlust. Then she splits the table Aria and Puppet-dad are sitting at with her umbrella. Puppet-dad turns his gun on Ella, but she's much faster and stronger than she is normally thanks to having consumed some blood. She knocks the gun away with enough force that it tears off Puppet-dad's hand, exposing the red crystal underneath. Aria is take the puppet down though. Not using weapons or her pyromancy. Just her bare hands. Commenting that she thought she'd got the last of the red puppets five years ago. The puppet is still alive, and apparently can transmit a message back to its handlers. Aria has a message: "Leave my family alone." With that she uses her pyromancy to incinerate the creepy thing. Then she cheerfully asks Ella to get the broom.

Meanwhile Gamma's fight with remaining ONY Security Force soldier... could be going better. Evidently he's using rounds that are infused with light magic, which they had in case the shadowmancer showed up. Eventually, Gamma gets rifle-whipped in the face and is held at gunpoint. The soldier has to ask, why did Gamma leave the facility? Evidently what he went through was no worse than what the other Projects went through. Even the Aves class endured similar treatment, yet they don't complain. Gamma agrees because Kestrel didn't even scream when he tore his arm off. This is the first mention of the Aves class, which means "birds." This seems to suggest that "Kestrel" might be a code name. Amid the back and forth that Gamma has with the soldier, Gamma is able to glean that Rei is being underestimated-- at least that much is going to plan. With that, Gamma has had enough of this conversation and just has his shadow's basically... eat the soldier. Going all out like this, he's not sure he'll survive. Though as Raziere and others have pointed out, Gamma doesn't seem to value his life much. This just underscores the point. Gamma does survive though. At least for now. Though he's in a state where he could be knocked over with at stiff breeze.

Now some of you might recall that Verde got stabbed-- lucky for her, it was in the leg. Extra lucky that the knife is stuck. On an unlucky note... Oww... Not that this is doing much to stop the puppet though. The flesh has peeled off of her left hand revealing the bare bones, which are long and scythe-like. Verde gets her sweater shredded and her glasses cracked before getting another Klingenluft spell off. Since most of her magic circles that she drew are now ruined, it's time for another plan. A rather reckless one. Verde has a weapon after all, it's... just lodged in her leg at the moment. Now, those of you that have some understanding of first aid know that removing a foreign object that you've been stabbed with is generally a bad idea. Typically, it's just going to make any bleeding much worse. But that's why it's a reckless idea. After Verde pulls the knife out of her calf, she works quickly to use a piece of her pants leg as a tourniquet of sorts. It slows the bleeding, but doesn't stop it. All the while the creaks of the puppet getting back up and getting ready to come after Verde can be heard. Verde uses her own blood to draw a magic circle on the knife's handle. That's right. Verde uses her own blood to enchant a combat knife! That is so metal.

As the puppet bears down on her, it's the moment of truth. Only one way to see if the enchantment worked. If it doesn't... Well, Verde likely won't get to try again. Verde shouts the activation word-- "RASIERMESSER!" (That's "razor" in German. Again, according to Google Translate.) The first thing that happens is Verde gets a piercing headache. The second thing? The knife flies out of her hand with such force that it tears the skin off Verde's palm. (Oww...) The combat knife buries itself in the puppet's skull as the magic circle glows intensely and burns itself into the knife's grip permanently. This is enough to put the puppet down for good and it falls to the ground and shatters. Verde falls to the ground too, but does not shatter. Taking a moment to smile. To take in her victory. Maybe a bit premature though. Bleeding to death or succumbing to hypothermia are still possibilities after all.

Rei has Kestrel right where she wants him. Or so she thinks. She shouts for Verde and Gamma, only... they're not here. Rei use her pyromancy to wreathe both of her arms in flames with such intensity that it actually hurts. At this moment, Chloe stabs Kestrel with her scalpel which causes him to turn in her direction. Rei hits him with fire, which sends his saber out of his hand and leaves him smoldering on the ground. Rei yells to Chloe to make a run for it, which she does. But Chloe asks Rei a simple favor-- "Live, please."

Now, we should know that getting blasted with fire won't be enough to put Kestrel down for good. Dude wasn't stopped after getting his arm ripped off. He staggers to his feet and pulls off his burning hoodie. It's now that we finally get a good look at the arm he made for himself. It's crude. Pipes, screws, bits of metal scrap. I have to wonder if it's modeled after the prosthetic that Tetsuo made for himself in AKIRA. Hopefully that's where the resemblance ends. For now, the two get ready to fight. Rei hears a scream somewhere in the distance and the fight begins.

In this chapter, our heroes manage to escape but not without the encounter taking a toll. Rei gets Chloe away from Kestrel, but she still needs to fight him. Even though Kestrel is without a hostage, he has an advantage of sorts-- he's a killer, Rei isn't. Chloe escapes with her life, but will have to be uncertain about Rei's fate for a bit. Verde defeats the puppet, but she's also bleeding on the ground as snow is falling. Ella managed to save herself and Aria from Puppet-dad but not without resorting to a power that she's uncomfortable having, much less using. And Aria... she's got a mess to clean up.

Going back to Ella's sanguimancy-- this is the first time it's name-dropped and explicitly stated that she's been a mancer this whole time. I have a minor theory about this. It's been stated that in the Cursed World setting, myths and legends are true, just not in the way that everyone expects them to be. So my theory is this-- Ella is a vampire. Not a literal blood-sucking creature of the night that catches fire in the daylight. But I can see how the existence of sanguimancers like Ella might have perpetuated the vampire myth within the setting. The fact that she's sort of pale and dark-haired probably helps.

There's been earlier hints that there's more to Ella than what she's said about herself. Not just the fact that she's a mancer. She also seems to know more about how puppets work that Rei or Verde do, which suggests that she may have some experience with them. Combined with the book she lent Verde, which she totally found in the library because that's a completely normal book for a public library to have, it's pretty clear that as forthcoming as Ella seems, she's got some secrets.

Next is Chapter Twenty-Three. Come and see!

[Mystic Muse]

I'm personally curious to see how the RWBY book is in comparison to the show.

[Rater202]

Yeah, lot to take in here.

I figured that there had to be something up with Ella's umbrella when I noticed attention being drawn to it, but I genuinely thought that her fortunes were just cold reading.

So... Sanquimancy s reading bood and drawing strength from blood, but actually controlling it is Feromancy? Or is there overlap and Ella just doesn't know how to control blood?

And Kestral is probably a supersoldier and.... Oh. Oh. That's why Gamma asked why Rei had a date with a bird, wasn't it? He suspected something was up even that early, didn't he? With the Aves program?

It's interesting that the ONY grunts don't think what happened to Gamma was that bad when... Yeah, it kind of was.

And I'll be honest, I was picturing something like this when I wondered what was under Kestral's bandages.
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/naruto/images/b/b3/Shin%27s_Arm.png/revision/latest?cb=20170906101709

Good to know that it's actually a Hell of a Lot Worse than that.

[Lord Raziere]

....I think blood is just incredibly powerful and vital for magic in the Cursed World.

The puppets? form flesh from blood
the knife enchantment? goes weird and does something different than expected because of Verde's blood
mancies? inherited through blood
Kestrel? can control the iron in blood
Ella? uses hemomancy to read peoples blood and enhances her own abilities.
Rei's emotions? directly connected with blood, blood keeps your body warm, so blood and fire are linked.

things like that. Blood is just somehow symbolically/metaphysically/magically significant in some holistic sense, and that Verde accidentally stumbled upon one of its applications by basically binding that dagger to her. Perhaps even permanently. when I first read it I didn't get what happened, I thought she simply screwed up the circle and discovered a completely different spell at the time by doing so, but now I'm pretty sure its the blood that made the dagger be bound to her. blood is often a symbol of incredibly long binding contracts and structures among humanity.

Ella, on the other hand....her hemomancy is potentially incredibly powerful but I noticed something. both her applications of hemomancy require touch contact. palm reading, drinking blood to empower herself, I don't think she can control blood from a distance. I don't know if this is how hemomancy works, or if its just her own shortcoming, but that is how it seems to be. I mean given Ferromancy and Pyromancy, theoretically she could, but....hm...

but yeah, Ella's bloodline being the inspiration for vampires in this setting would make sense.

[Rater202]

The description of Gamma on the dance floor and moving like a dancer in his Shadowmancy made me picture him doing capoeira.

Shadowmancy training has no effect for a Pyromancer. News at eleven.

Rei wants to be a Hero... Unfortunately, there isn't an Almight to teach her. Hopefully, she turns out all right on her own.

Yes, Verde. ONY controls the Government and you know that ONY is investigating this stuff. Ergo, someone in the Government knows about this.

Ella: "Humans are notoriously superstitious at times." Yeah, I think that Fury's "Sanguinomancers=Vampire Myth Origin" is dead on the money. I bet she's experienced it first hand.

"Oro Yamata?"

Yamata no Orochi

Lord Orochi.

Lord Orochi is President Yamata. Come on Zodi, you're not even bothering to hide it.

...Kestral probably murdered that cop right before he talked to Chloe about Rei.

"I'm here, and as long as I am you don't have anything to fear" is Mom for "anything that tries to hurt you, I will reduce down to atomic dust with white-hot Hellfire and then scatter across the cosmos?"

Irony that Aria is probably the last person who needs to be protected.

...Was Samson also a Pyromancer, or is the comment about his fire becoming Rei purely metaphorical?

Hooks! I'm gonna be honest, I've got a thing for Classic Slasher Flics. I don't uch care for Saw or Hostile style Torture Porn but there ain't nothing like a masked Maniac with a big sharp vaguely phallic implement of death slughtering some horny teens, most of whom are jackasses, only to be defeated at the end when the Final Girl takes symbolically emasulates him by taking his knife, machette, or chainsaw from him and "kills" him with it.

...I may have or may not have passed a Crime and Culture class by writing a paper on the subtle phallic and yonic imagery in slasher movies and how a hint of sexuality is used to drive the horror home, using the shower scene in Psycho(which had been spoken of as a mystery/thriller in the class) as a jumping off point.

The thing is, when I was a kid I couldn't even watch Goosebumps on the TV and know I love a good scary story if it's the right kind.

Rant aside, Verde being smol also makes her freeze easy? Is that a real thing because I've never heard of it... Of course if the picture on the cover is accurate not only is she short she's also very light framed and seems to be on the skinny ide so it could be the lack of fat and muscle mass meaning she doesn't retain heat?

I may be over thinking this.

Verde tries thinfs but gives up when it doesn't work?Trouble focusing? Never feels good enough? #TooDamnRelatable.

As does the suddenly becoming obsessed with something despite yourself.

"Magic is think, mancies are feely..." But what if you think and feel? Feeligns come from the Glands and most of the glands are controlled by the Gland in the brain, the two things are intrinsically linked?

Can a Pyromaner also learn Fire Magic and combine them? I must know! My curiosity demands it!

[The Fury]

I'm personally curious to see how the RWBY book is in comparison to the show.

Me too, though I'll probably try to keep comparisons to the series at a minimum in my write-ups. I think it would be better and more helpful to try to meet the RWBY book on its own terms.


Yeah, lot to take in here.

I figured that there had to be something up with Ella's umbrella when I noticed attention being drawn to it, but I genuinely thought that her fortunes were just cold reading.

So... Sanquimancy s reading bood and drawing strength from blood, but actually controlling it is Feromancy? Or is there overlap and Ella just doesn't know how to control blood?

And Kestral is probably a supersoldier and.... Oh. Oh. That's why Gamma asked why Rei had a date with a bird, wasn't it? He suspected something was up even that early, didn't he? With the Aves program?

It's interesting that the ONY grunts don't think what happened to Gamma was that bad when... Yeah, it kind of was.


It's kind of a pedandic point, but ferromancy is not controlling blood. It can allow someone to control iron within the blood though. As for what sanguimancy can do... Ella seems really uncomfortable with her powers so it makes sense that she hasn't developed them much beyond her blood-reading.

The ONY soldier talking about how Gamma's treatment wasn't that bad reminds me a little of how people try to normalize bad things that have been done to people. I mean, how often have we heard something like this:

"High school was terrible, and I think it really did a number on me."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"I was bullied."

"So what? Everyone gets bullied! I got bullied too!"

I mean, the basic idea is that you're not the only victim, other victims are fine, so therefore you should be too. Taken a step further, the final conclusion seems to be "what happened to you wasn't that bad."

Sanguimancers being the origin of the vampire myth makes more sense to me the more I think about it. I mean... they get stronger, faster and get sharper senses from ingesting blood. And yeah... Ella prefers frilly blouses, black and white clothing, she's pale, dark-haired, kind of tall, so she even kind of looks like a vampire. She's even trained in and enjoys ballet, so there's that appreciation for finer things that aristocratic vampires are supposed to have.


Rant aside, Verde being smol also makes her freeze easy? Is that a real thing because I've never heard of it... Of course if the picture on the cover is accurate not only is she short she's also very light framed and seems to be on the skinny ide so it could be the lack of fat and muscle mass meaning she doesn't retain heat?

I may be over thinking this.

I don't think Verde's getting cold because she's so tiny. I think it's because she's from Felisian Hub. Dulace is said to have a much colder winter than other parts of the world, so I think it's a little like someone moving from Northern California to Alaska and dealing with a much colder winter than they're used to.

[LaZodiac]

Yeah, lot to take in here.

I figured that there had to be something up with Ella's umbrella when I noticed attention being drawn to it, but I genuinely thought that her fortunes were just cold reading.

So... Sanquimancy s reading bood and drawing strength from blood, but actually controlling it is Feromancy? Or is there overlap and Ella just doesn't know how to control blood?

And Kestral is probably a supersoldier and.... Oh. Oh. That's why Gamma asked why Rei had a date with a bird, wasn't it? He suspected something was up even that early, didn't he? With the Aves program?

It's interesting that the ONY grunts don't think what happened to Gamma was that bad when... Yeah, it kind of was.

And I'll be honest, I was picturing something like this when I wondered what was under Kestral's bandages.
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/naruto/images/b/b3/Shin%27s_Arm.png/revision/latest?cb=20170906101709

Good to know that it's actually a Hell of a Lot Worse than that.



....I think blood is just incredibly powerful and vital for magic in the Cursed World.

The puppets? form flesh from blood
the knife enchantment? goes weird and does something different than expected because of Verde's blood
mancies? inherited through blood
Kestrel? can control the iron in blood
Ella? uses hemomancy to read peoples blood and enhances her own abilities.
Rei's emotions? directly connected with blood, blood keeps your body warm, so blood and fire are linked.

things like that. Blood is just somehow symbolically/metaphysically/magically significant in some holistic sense, and that Verde accidentally stumbled upon one of its applications by basically binding that dagger to her. Perhaps even permanently. when I first read it I didn't get what happened, I thought she simply screwed up the circle and discovered a completely different spell at the time by doing so, but now I'm pretty sure its the blood that made the dagger be bound to her. blood is often a symbol of incredibly long binding contracts and structures among humanity.

Ella, on the other hand....her hemomancy is potentially incredibly powerful but I noticed something. both her applications of hemomancy require touch contact. palm reading, drinking blood to empower herself, I don't think she can control blood from a distance. I don't know if this is how hemomancy works, or if its just her own shortcoming, but that is how it seems to be. I mean given Ferromancy and Pyromancy, theoretically she could, but....hm...

but yeah, Ella's bloodline being the inspiration for vampires in this setting would make sense.


Ella herself admits it's a mixture of both cold reading and her sanguimancy, so you weren't wrong. There is more to how sanguimancy works than just using it the way Ella shows here, but given she's never really trained it this is what she can do right now. Kestrel's more trained in his ferromancy, leading him to have that one shot "I touch you and you die/are taken out" attack by manipulating the iron in your blood.

Hehehe, good catch :smallamused:

Yeah, Kestrel's iron arm is way more Akira than that. Fury's description of it was spot on.

------

I'm not going to confirm or deny your theory but I will note both Ella and Kestrel independently use the term "the chaos in your blood", Ella when explaining her reading and Kestrel when thinking about the mnemonic puppets. Take that as you will.

I'm annoyed at how much hemomancy flows better than sanguimancy god dangit :smalltongue:


The description of Gamma on the dance floor and moving like a dancer in his Shadowmancy made me picture him doing capoeira.

Shadowmancy training has no effect for a Pyromancer. News at eleven.

Rei wants to be a Hero... Unfortunately, there isn't an Almight to teach her. Hopefully, she turns out all right on her own.

Yes, Verde. ONY controls the Government and you know that ONY is investigating this stuff. Ergo, someone in the Government knows about this.

Ella: "Humans are notoriously superstitious at times." Yeah, I think that Fury's "Sanguinomancers=Vampire Myth Origin" is dead on the money. I bet she's experienced it first hand.

"Oro Yamata?"

Yamata no Orochi

Lord Orochi.

Lord Orochi is President Yamata. Come on Zodi, you're not even bothering to hide it.

...Kestral probably murdered that cop right before he talked to Chloe about Rei.

"I'm here, and as long as I am you don't have anything to fear" is Mom for "anything that tries to hurt you, I will reduce down to atomic dust with white-hot Hellfire and then scatter across the cosmos?"

Irony that Aria is probably the last person who needs to be protected.

...Was Samson also a Pyromancer, or is the comment about his fire becoming Rei purely metaphorical?

Hooks! I'm gonna be honest, I've got a thing for Classic Slasher Flics. I don't uch care for Saw or Hostile style Torture Porn but there ain't nothing like a masked Maniac with a big sharp vaguely phallic implement of death slughtering some horny teens, most of whom are jackasses, only to be defeated at the end when the Final Girl takes symbolically emasulates him by taking his knife, machette, or chainsaw from him and "kills" him with it.

...I may have or may not have passed a Crime and Culture class by writing a paper on the subtle phallic and yonic imagery in slasher movies and how a hint of sexuality is used to drive the horror home, using the shower scene in Psycho(which had been spoken of as a mystery/thriller in the class) as a jumping off point.

The thing is, when I was a kid I couldn't even watch Goosebumps on the TV and know I love a good scary story if it's the right kind.

Rant aside, Verde being smol also makes her freeze easy? Is that a real thing because I've never heard of it... Of course if the picture on the cover is accurate not only is she short she's also very light framed and seems to be on the skinny ide so it could be the lack of fat and muscle mass meaning she doesn't retain heat?

I may be over thinking this.

Verde tries thinfs but gives up when it doesn't work?Trouble focusing? Never feels good enough? #TooDamnRelatable.

As does the suddenly becoming obsessed with something despite yourself.

"Magic is think, mancies are feely..." But what if you think and feel? Feeligns come from the Glands and most of the glands are controlled by the Gland in the brain, the two things are intrinsically linked?

Can a Pyromaner also learn Fire Magic and combine them? I must know! My curiosity demands it!

*makes a note to research capoeira"

In earlier drafts it was made less obvious, but still pretty obvious if you applied any sort of rational thinking or engaged in the story at all, but my editor mentioned I should make it clearer and honestly as I did rewrites and stuff I realized that it really just isn't a secret at all so lets play around with that a bit.

After, actually.

"Samson was a pyromancer" I wonder~

That sounds super interesting! Also I'm also a total coward who could never watch Goosebumps as a good, while liking horror far more as an adult.

So the thing about Verde is that she is, from a medical standpoint, a little person. She is tiny and thin and small as a result, because one of the side effects of this is reduced growth due to hormonal imbalances, as well as delayed/no sexual development. She specifically is Proportionate, medically speaking, so she looks quote unquote normal, just small. She's four foot nine, and just barely a-cup, for reference of just how small, which is within the standards for being a little person medically. Part of the symptoms of being a little person is that you do have a reduction in fat and muscle, so it makes sense for Verde to get colder, easier.

that said like Fury mentioned, which I somewhat forget to touch on in this post, Verde is just also born in a warmer area of the world, so she's weaker to cold geographical speaking as well.

I can say that mancers can learn magic, absolutely, but some sorts of magics are harder to learn. I don't imagine Rei, who's mentality is so drenched in fire that her dreams are always burning, is going to be able to connect with water in the way a wizard would need to learn and cast water spells, for example.

[Mith]

Me too, though I'll probably try to keep comparisons to the series at a minimum in my write-ups. I think it would be better and more helpful to try to meet the RWBY book on its own terms.



It's kind of a pedandic point, but ferromancy is not controlling blood. It can allow someone to control iron within the blood though. As for what sanguimancy can do... Ella seems really uncomfortable with her powers so it makes sense that she hasn't developed them much beyond her blood-reading.

The ONY soldier talking about how Gamma's treatment wasn't that bad reminds me a little of how people try to normalize bad things that have been done to people. I mean, how often have we heard something like this:

"High school was terrible, and I think it really did a number on me."

"What? Why do you say that?"

"I was bullied."

"So what? Everyone gets bullied! I got bullied too!"

I mean, the basic idea is that you're not the only victim, other victims are fine, so therefore you should be too. Taken a step further, the final conclusion seems to be "what happened to you wasn't that bad."

Sanguimancers being the origin of the vampire myth makes more sense to me the more I think about it. I mean... they get stronger, faster and get sharper senses from ingesting blood. And yeah... Ella prefers frilly blouses, black and white clothing, she's pale, dark-haired, kind of tall, so she even kind of looks like a vampire. She's even trained in and enjoys ballet, so there's that appreciation for finer things that aristocratic vampires are supposed to have.



I don't think Verde's getting cold because she's so tiny. I think it's because she's from Felisian Hub. Dulace is said to have a much colder winter than other parts of the world, so I think it's a little like someone moving from Northern California to Alaska and dealing with a much colder winter than they're used to.

My uncle knew a man who wore sweaters during a Mexican winter because he found it that cold. He came up to Canada to work for a while. It was -40 with iirc -10 C wind chill on top of that.
He reeaallly didn't want off the plane.

Aria's demonstration here is why she is my curret favourite character. She is always angry, just not in a way that is easily actionable.

Another point that I find interesting about Ella, is that she seems to be always using her abilities, as seen by the massive amount of food she goes through, so it'll be interesting to see if her control is in part done by self imposed bindings/turning her power on itself. (I picture it like storing water in a bowl of ice)

[DataNinja]

In earlier drafts it was made less obvious, but still pretty obvious if you applied any sort of rational thinking or engaged in the story at all, but my editor mentioned I should make it clearer and honestly as I did rewrites and stuff I realized that it really just isn't a secret at all so lets play around with that a bit.
Yeah, there was a lot of stuff that was spelled out rather less explicitly in earlier drafts. Whether that's preferable highly depends on the reader. But... really, the type of person who's gonna be reading these books is probably going to be savvy to the general tricks writers like to pull. :smalltongue:
(Though... sometimes too much. I remember running a tabletop where the government was genuinely telling the truth with their stories, and doing the best things for the people in the post-apocalyptic world. And I could in zero ways convince my players of that fact. Everyone was exactly at face value, but they were convinced there was an obvious conspiracy. :smallamused: )

[Rater202]

Rei brimming with confidence at the halfway point of the book is a bad sign.

Though her admitting that not looking away from the horror movie was a mistake was funny.

I think it's interesting that Rei thinks of Heather and the Heathers as Sychophants when, from our objective position, we know that they're the dominant partners in that toxic relationship...

...Was Heather's name being Heather a deliberate reference to Heathers or the archetype it named?

I thought that Ella's voracious appetite was just a character quirk, but with what I know now?

Hesitation in doing something that needs to be done? Yeah, that's a problem I think everyone can relate to.

...I wonder if Chloe is a nickname? Is her real Name Cleopatra? Because she's swimming in da'Nile right now.

Holy Psychological Projection, Batman!

Chloe can punch hard enough to draw blood?

Rei know the problem but said nothing... Yeah,she's right to feel responsible, because in doing that it ceased to be an accident and became, in part, her fault.

This is the "Hero" moment right here. This could define Rei's character development going forward in a manner not unlike Peter Parker letting the burglar get away becuase "I'm the talant, not security, I'm looking out for me and mine and that's it" and eating the consequences when that same man murdered Uncle Ben.

Rei's temper and negativity, even justified, led to horribly consequences. So... What is she gonna do about it?

Is she gonna feel bad but eventually get over it... Or is it burned into her mind that she has a Great Power, and for that she must accept the Great Responsibility of using it properly?

Oh, never mind on Chloe's punch. I forgot that Rei was injured.

So far it seems like Rei is learning the right lesson, maybe a little too well. You need the hug, girl, take it.

Ironically, going home and telling her mother exactly what happened would have been the best way to make sure ut doesn't happen again. Aria could tell her exactly what she needs to do to get the hang of it.

I think that's a problem with a lot of "surprise, we're secretly magic!" Stories. I understand that if you have a need to keep it secret you don't tell the kid until you're sure they can keep it a secret, but... This exact situation. Rei's powers came in before Aria was prepared to tell her, crap is happening, and now Rei doesn't know who to go to or what to do and is going with suboptimal options becuase she doens't know that her mother can and will hep her with this.

Honestly, not telling Rei about this like, a year ago, was somewhat irresponsible of Aria... But then I guess there wouldn't be a story. My only hope is that if Rei ever has a bio-kid that she doesn't make the same mistake.

Verde's being coy about her magic lessons. Honeslt,y I don't like that she's keeping her desire to be a Wizard secret from Rei. Motivvated by envy or not... Rei envys you in some ways, she claims you're stronger than her.

Envy is normal. Everyone envies their friends, unless their friends lives suck. That's normal. The key is to not let t get in the way of your friendship.

And something that would lead into a very effective fake out if I didn't know it was coming.

[LaZodiac]

Rei brimming with confidence at the halfway point of the book is a bad sign.

Though her admitting that not looking away from the horror movie was a mistake was funny.

I think it's interesting that Rei thinks of Heather and the Heathers as Sychophants when, from our objective position, we know that they're the dominant partners in that toxic relationship...

...Was Heather's name being Heather a deliberate reference to Heathers or the archetype it named?

I thought that Ella's voracious appetite was just a character quirk, but with what I know now?

Hesitation in doing something that needs to be done? Yeah, that's a problem I think everyone can relate to.

...I wonder if Chloe is a nickname? Is her real Name Cleopatra? Because she's swimming in da'Nile right now.

Holy Psychological Projection, Batman!

Chloe can punch hard enough to draw blood?

Rei know the problem but said nothing... Yeah,she's right to feel responsible, because in doing that it ceased to be an accident and became, in part, her fault.

This is the "Hero" moment right here. This could define Rei's character development going forward in a manner not unlike Peter Parker letting the burglar get away becuase "I'm the talant, not security, I'm looking out for me and mine and that's it" and eating the consequences when that same man murdered Uncle Ben.

Rei's temper and negativity, even justified, led to horribly consequences. So... What is she gonna do about it?

Is she gonna feel bad but eventually get over it... Or is it burned into her mind that she has a Great Power, and for that she must accept the Great Responsibility of using it properly?

Oh, never mind on Chloe's punch. I forgot that Rei was injured.

So far it seems like Rei is learning the right lesson, maybe a little too well. You need the hug, girl, take it.

Ironically, going home and telling her mother exactly what happened would have been the best way to make sure ut doesn't happen again. Aria could tell her exactly what she needs to do to get the hang of it.

I think that's a problem with a lot of "surprise, we're secretly magic!" Stories. I understand that if you have a need to keep it secret you don't tell the kid until you're sure they can keep it a secret, but... This exact situation. Rei's powers came in before Aria was prepared to tell her, crap is happening, and now Rei doesn't know who to go to or what to do and is going with suboptimal options becuase she doens't know that her mother can and will hep her with this.

Honestly, not telling Rei about this like, a year ago, was somewhat irresponsible of Aria... But then I guess there wouldn't be a story. My only hope is that if Rei ever has a bio-kid that she doesn't make the same mistake.

Verde's being coy about her magic lessons. Honeslt,y I don't like that she's keeping her desire to be a Wizard secret from Rei. Motivvated by envy or not... Rei envys you in some ways, she claims you're stronger than her.

Envy is normal. Everyone envies their friends, unless their friends lives suck. That's normal. The key is to not let t get in the way of your friendship.

And something that would lead into a very effective fake out if I didn't know it was coming.

Rei seeing Heather and company as the peons to Chloe is a fun bit for me. Showing through characterization how they've so fully manipulated Chloe into being seen as the big shot when she's in fact their plaything, eventually. Also yeah, absolutely named Heather after the musical.

So, as evidenced by the fact that Verde and Ella go snooping and Rei is open to telling them the truth now that they know, I'm not a big fan of hiding secrets either. So when I do do it, it's for a good reasons. In the case of Aria, it is meant to be a failing on Aria's part that she chose to do this. She has her reasons (she says as much later; that she wanted Rei to have a normal life unlike herself) but she admits that it was wrong of her. For Verde... while she is envious of Rei, her reason for hiding her wizard training is much more legitimate; she just wants to surprise her with it. Given as we learn later it was Verde's idea to throw Rei a surprise party, as you'll see later, it was absolutely just going to be part of that.

[Rater202]

Okay, based on metaknowledge this is gonna be a hard one to get through, might as well get it done.
"How many shadows can dance on the edge of a knife?"

...Gamma can taste with his lungs? That's... Disturbing.

"This thing that you hate keeps you alive" counting as a concession... Yeah.

"This would be the day he let them kill him." ****, man. This... This is gonna be rough.

The first mention of Mnemonic puppets and that the project concluded, but no further details.

...putting your life in the hands of the suicidal person that you've abused the Hell out of but need alive to not die? I think that's a Darwin award.

...Okay. The truth is, I can't really formulate many thoughts on this chapter. The previous line was my attempt to comfort myself with some morbid humor but...

This chapter left me feeling disturbed and vaufgly uncomfortable in a way I don't enough words or enough energy to describe.

If that's what you're going for, you succeeded. That's something to be proud of.

...I'm gonna go try and process that.

[LaZodiac]

I will say, that is what I intended. It is genuinely something I wanted to get across that Gamma was put through utter hell.

I do apologize though, if it was too much. I don't want to hurt with my writing, at least in a bad way. Good hurting is important, bad hurting... less so.

[Rater202]

Rei, sweety? Trust me, you're better off not knowing.

Ella knows what's up.

Yeah, Rei finally gets that different powers work differently.

Luckily it won't take Rei long to unlearn what little she's learned, now that she knows to feel instead of think.

...That doesn't sound like any bike I've ever heard of, but I never learned how to ride a bike so what do I know.

Ella has scene fights before.

...Again, something Rei would be able to handle better if she'd known ahead of time.

Verde, no. You're going Full Vegeta. Never go full Vegeta.

[LaZodiac]

Sorry for a late reply, been busy with things.

Hehe, I wonder if Ella's specific phrasing there is a hint of something. Nice catch~

"Verde is Rei's Vegeta" is a fun image to me because he is also very tiny.

[Rater202]

Sorry for a late reply, been busy with things.

Hehe, I wonder if Ella's specific phrasing there is a hint of something. Nice catch~

"Verde is Rei's Vegeta" is a fun image to me because he is also very tiny.

Obviously, Ella's been in fights worse than the one she saw.

For the record, "flash of wind" is a term you hear getting tossed around every so often, and Final Flash in german is, per google, letzter blitz.

Do with that what you will.

Rei is literally hot-blooded? And her hands can burn red...? We need to get her a giant robot that is piloted by motion controls and is designed to imitate her powers.

Being born on literally the exact day that a parent died? That's gotta be hard.

...Yeah, this whole scene at the grave hits hard.

Why does Rei hate hospitals?

Being around toxic behavior makes you think it's normal.

...Yeah, Chloe probably needs a clean break with her parents. "you're not allowed to be friends with the gay girl. Here, have these total bitches as replacement friends" is bad parenting and between that and her how father wants her to be an Idol, a horribly toxic industry... Yeah.

Shiptease no Jutsu!

Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

...I can feel the grime just reading it.

Kite is a kind of bird.

...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

And the twist.

Gamma is the big-damn hero.

Hoever, Gamma, next time "the person you described sounds like he bad guy, be careful" would have been the thing to say. Lack of communication is what gets the person you want about the one-legged man inviting that exact same one-legged man to be the cook on the expedition to find the treasure you're trying to keep out of the one-legged man's clutches.

Well, that fight wascertainly visceral.

After seeing the fight with the thugs, I thought Fury was overplaying how realistic and disturbing the fight s could be, becuase that seemed pretty normal based on my reading. This though? Yeah, I get it now.

Gamma's sheding death flags. I fear for his well being, if only because I can't see Rei being willing to find a wise old pervert to teach her crap about mancy. Rei can teach her, but C'mon, there's tradition to be upheld. The teacher is either a mysterious badass with a tragic past or a perverted old hermit.

Aria's too experienced with this.

"Hell survive as long as he doesn't get shot or stabbed or set on fire or anything. He's cool."

Seriously, why is he after Rei if he didn't know about her powers?

Kestral's afraid or sunrise and sunset? That's... A really specific thing... Has he spent time on a ship?

The puppets became his actual parents? This is gonna lead into the "cry for the devil" moment later in the series, isn't it?

Frankly, Aria, Rei needs friends like that now.

Aria said she'd only learned of Gamma as a friend of Rei's, but knows he's a Shadowmancer. Senses? Or just not leaving out the seats in her mental recap?

[LaZodiac]

Obviously, Ella's been in fights worse than the one she saw.

For the record, "flash of wind" is a term you hear getting tossed around every so often, and Final Flash in german is, per google, letzter blitz.

Do with that what you will.

Rei is literally hot-blooded? And her hands can burn red...? We need to get her a giant robot that is piloted by motion controls and is designed to imitate her powers.

Being born on literally the exact day that a parent died? That's gotta be hard.

...Yeah, this whole scene at the grave hits hard.

Why does Rei hate hospitals?

Being around toxic behavior makes you think it's normal.

...Yeah, Chloe probably needs a clean break with her parents. "you're not allowed to be friends with the gay girl. Here, have these total bitches as replacement friends" is bad parenting and between that and her how father wants her to be an Idol, a horribly toxic industry... Yeah.

Shiptease no Jutsu!

Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

...I can feel the grime just reading it.

Kite is a kind of bird.

...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

And the twist.

Gamma is the big-damn hero.

Hoever, Gamma, next time "the person you described sounds like he bad guy, be careful" would have been the thing to say. Lack of communication is what gets the person you want about the one-legged man inviting that exact same one-legged man to be the cook on the expedition to find the treasure you're trying to keep out of the one-legged man's clutches.

Well, that fight wascertainly visceral.

After seeing the fight with the thugs, I thought Fury was overplaying how realistic and disturbing the fight s could be, becuase that seemed pretty normal based on my reading. This though? Yeah, I get it now.

Gamma's sheding death flags. I fear for his well being, if only because I can't see Rei being willing to find a wise old pervert to teach her crap about mancy. Rei can teach her, but C'mon, there's tradition to be upheld. The teacher is either a mysterious badass with a tragic past or a perverted old hermit.

Aria's too experienced with this.

"Hell survive as long as he doesn't get shot or stabbed or set on fire or anything. He's cool."

Seriously, why is he after Rei if he didn't know about her powers?

Kestral's afraid or sunrise and sunset? That's... A really specific thing... Has he spent time on a ship?

The puppets became his actual parents? This is gonna lead into the "cry for the devil" moment later in the series, isn't it?

Frankly, Aria, Rei needs friends like that now.

Aria said she'd only learned of Gamma as a friend of Rei's, but knows he's a Shadowmancer. Senses? Or just not leaving out the seats in her mental recap?

Aah, many delicious thoughts for a sleepy day.

Thinkin' about Rei piloting the Shining Gundam now and it's real good.

Aside from the general reasons of "hospitals are just scary", there is a reason why Rei hates hospitals. It'll probably get brought up in a later book.

Chapter 16 is I think one of my favorites, writing wise. Rei just wearing her heart on her sleeve and talking with her dad's grave is super sad, but with this tinge of hopefulness, which leads into the conversation with Chloe wherein we learn that all this time, they probably both had feelings for each other that they were trying to push away. Even with Chloe's injuries, Rei still cheers her up. Even knowing she hurt her, Rei is warmed by Chloe's genuine smile returning. There's an immediate contrast with Kestrel, the guy she thinks she likes, and Chloe, the person she actually loves, that I think stands out.

I can't say there is a Chicken Hawk, but rest assured; there will be more birds than Kite and Kestrel, hehe.

I'm glad you enjoyed the fight! This one had some issues in creation because, as someone who is inherently just incapable of measuring distance, it was hard to keep clear in my head and on paper how far away Kestrel is from both Gamma and Rei. Factoring in travel time and stuff made it a little tricky to write.

The question "why is he after Rei despite not knowing her abilities" is... a complicated one that he sorta answers, but in a vague and "I'm clearly just a minion" way, so it might be a little dissatisfying in this book. But rest assured, Rei agrees that she wants a better answer, and that's gonna be part of Hidden Embers.

It is a specific thing! As for why... well, we'll see if it comes up, if it even can come up, in the future. As for the mnemonic puppets becoming his actual parents... yeah, that's supposed too hint towards the Aves Class maybe not being as 100% willing soldiers as you'd expect.

I will say, and I should have made this clearer, Aria did not learn Gamma was a shadowmancer from the kids. She senses that out herself.

[Mith]

[SPOILER=Chapter 17]Rei, you found out she smokes because you kept staring at her boobs despite hating her. It might not beloved but there's something there.

...I can feel the grime just reading it.

Kite is a kind of bird.

...Thought, is there an Aves named Chicken Hawk?

Those "desert foxes" were all mancers and "wouldn't hurt them" is ridiculously subjective.

Poor Gamma escaped by the skin of his teeth. And Kite's gonna be the villain, or at least a mook,in a future book.

Rei, the hunk defaulting to literal violence whenever the idea of a "fight" comes up is not cute. It's a red flag.

Magnetic personality my ass. There's gotta be something going on here.

Based on what we know of ONY and what we saw of Gamma's backstory... I imagine thepeople he's killed deserve a hell of a lot worse than he gve them.

Gamma is suspicious of Kestral.

Oh, Rei... Sweety, no. Bloodboiling isn't love.

And the twist.



I was being flip with description, but I wonder if mancers have influence on people akin to their elements/their relationship to their element. So the "magnetic personality" is literally a hunting tactic. Rei inspires people to spontaneous action. Gamma keeps to the background and out of sight.

There are other reasons for these traits yes, but -mancy as a suffix is a way to divine things from you element. As such I suspect that mancy influence is much broader than the literal application of their element manipulation.

[Rater202]

Oooh, that dream's a bad sign. Gonna need therapy for that.

Best friend cuddles solve many problems though.

Gamma is a tragic, complicated boy. Zodi, if this series gets big either be prepared to see fanart of him bishified and babied by random teens or demonized for daring to hurt Kestral depending on which type of obnoxious fangirl gets to him first.

It's good that the talk of how Aria should have said something is happening now and not after Aria (almost) dies to drive home the stakes.

...The scene at the hospital is like something out a Slasher/Thriller mix.

Especially the bit where something in Chloe's arm gets busted. Kestral may have just crippled Chloe.

The Company that openly runs the Government is big enough to do whatever the Hell it wants, Verde. You're oddly naive for a ball of concentrated badass.

Good, we're getting the guilt complex breaking pep-talk done before the complex becomes an arc.

Verde reveals that she's a wizard and Gamma can't teach wind magic any better than he could teach pyromancy.

Convinient breaking news is convenient. Narratively, I mean. In-universe it kind of sucks for everyone involved.

Kestral really should be named after a different kind of bird. Something land-based and delicious once you've deboned and deep-fried it. Since he's very much acting like the male of that species.

...This book isn't going end without a Rei on Chloe kiss at this rate.

...With what I know of Ella... I wonder if her "I don't think I can" is more a fear of going too far if she uses her powers.

Honestly, in hindsight, if Rei was willing to kill hen the plan should have involved aiming a blast of fire directly at Kestral's crotch at the first opportunity.

Which is good advice for pretty much anything. If lives are on the line and/or you're willing to go lethal, aim for the groin. Male, female. Doesn't matter. Lots of nervous tissue, blood vessels, and other important stuff in that general area. It will hurt like a motherlover, it will keep the other guy from thinking straight, and it might knock them out, disorient them, or even inflict lethal damage if you hit hard enough.

Verde's monolog made me picture Verde and Rei fusing. Verei.

Verde needs to read some god-damn novels.

Gamma drops more death flags and is very much the product of his upbringing

Foreshadowing that Ella's umbrella is a weapon.

Aria was jovial about the possibility of the house being attacked? "Cheerful and friendly?" Is Aria the Goku of this group? Is this DBZ if we started with Cell and Gohan didn't get screwed over by editorial demands in the next arc?

I reiterate that Ella might be ore afraid of what whe'll do if she's forced to defend herself or others than the idea of being in danger.

At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.

[LaZodiac]

Oooh, that dream's a bad sign. Gonna need therapy for that.

Best friend cuddles solve many problems though.

Gamma is a tragic, complicated boy. Zodi, if this series gets big either be prepared to see fanart of him bishified and babied by random teens or demonized for daring to hurt Kestral depending on which type of obnoxious fangirl gets to him first.

It's good that the talk of how Aria should have said something is happening now and not after Aria (almost) dies to drive home the stakes.

...The scene at the hospital is like something out a Slasher/Thriller mix.

Especially the bit where something in Chloe's arm gets busted. Kestral may have just crippled Chloe.

The Company that openly runs the Government is big enough to do whatever the Hell it wants, Verde. You're oddly naive for a ball of concentrated badass.

Good, we're getting the guilt complex breaking pep-talk done before the complex becomes an arc.

Verde reveals that she's a wizard and Gamma can't teach wind magic any better than he could teach pyromancy.

Convinient breaking news is convenient. Narratively, I mean. In-universe it kind of sucks for everyone involved.

Kestral really should be named after a different kind of bird. Something land-based and delicious once you've deboned and deep-fried it. Since he's very much acting like the male of that species.

...This book isn't going end without a Rei on Chloe kiss at this rate.

...With what I know of Ella... I wonder if her "I don't think I can" is more a fear of going too far if she uses her powers.

Honestly, in hindsight, if Rei was willing to kill hen the plan should have involved aiming a blast of fire directly at Kestral's crotch at the first opportunity.

Which is good advice for pretty much anything. If lives are on the line and/or you're willing to go lethal, aim for the groin. Male, female. Doesn't matter. Lots of nervous tissue, blood vessels, and other important stuff in that general area. It will hurt like a motherlover, it will keep the other guy from thinking straight, and it might knock them out, disorient them, or even inflict lethal damage if you hit hard enough.

Verde's monolog made me picture Verde and Rei fusing. Verei.

Verde needs to read some god-damn novels.

Gamma drops more death flags and is very much the product of his upbringing

Foreshadowing that Ella's umbrella is a weapon.

Aria was jovial about the possibility of the house being attacked? "Cheerful and friendly?" Is Aria the Goku of this group? Is this DBZ if we started with Cell and Gohan didn't get screwed over by editorial demands in the next arc?

I reiterate that Ella might be ore afraid of what whe'll do if she's forced to defend herself or others than the idea of being in danger.

At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.

The irony is that the weirdo Kestrel stans are going to be the ones who are more correct in their depiction of Gamma, given he's a feral scarred up murder-boy. Gamma has his soft moments but as gets brought up when Rei is talking about regrets with Gamma... he has definitely killed multiple people and that's a hard thing.

Finally being able to let loose and present Kestrel as the driven, near-implacable assassin that he presents himself as was fun. Especially given Chloe is in no real place to defend herself right now. We know what he can do and now he is challenging someone undefended.

Verde kinda gets that ONY has a stranglehold on the world, but actually seeing proof of legitimate evil is still kinda shocking, I feel. You "know" but that knowledge hasn't really struck you yet.

Rei is willing to kill... but is she able is the question.

There will be no fusion, don't worry.

Interesting takes on both Aria and Ella here, by the way.

[Ibrinar]

Before we get into our next chapter, I'd like a chance for y'all to weigh in on which book I'll cover next. I've narrowed it down to two choices.

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Aeon Legion by JP Beaubien. The Terrible Writing Advice guy. This is another YA Fantasy built largely on time travel. The main reasons I'm suggesting this is because it's a book that I've wanted to read for a while, it's by someone whose humor I appreciate, and I already own the book. The fact that it has kind of a unique premise is something of a selling point as well.

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Aaand After the Fall by EC Meyers. The RWBY book. I have my reservations about this one to be sure, but I also feel like it's something that I'd have a lot to say about. As most of you probably know, it follows the exploits of Team CVFY after the events of Volume Three of the series. I'll probably cover this book eventually if for no reason, I'm a little curious. Also, since I met Zodi on the RWBY threads, it seems weirdly appropriate.

I guess let me know if any of you have preferences about these two and we'll hash it out once we're done with Initial Sparks. If nothing else, I'd like to keep discussion of Initial Sparks going until Rater and Mystic Muse finish their readthroughs.

On that note, on to our next chapter.

The rwby doesn't offer its kindle version in my region of the kindle store while Aeon Legion does and is cheap enough that I would read it.

[The Fury]

At this rate I'm gonna finish before Fury. And probably confuse the hell out fo anyone following along without reading themselves, since my reviews are mostly stream of consciousness thoughts without context mixed with whatever random trivia comes to mind if any does.

Aaah... It's true. Though it is kind of funny.


Our Chapter opens with Kestrel and Rei having their fight. It's a rough one, because Kestrel has his iron arm, with its clawed hand and jagged edges. He's even able to pull bits of it off to make weapons. Eventually, Kestrel gets the upper hand and he's got his ferromancy. He says that he won't kill Rei, but this will hurt. It's hard to say what's exactly happening because we only know what Rei is feeling, but I think Kestrel is using ferromancy to restrict Rei's bloodflow until she passes out. Rei has an idea though. As far as we can tell Kestrel's ferromancy mashes the iron particles in the blood into a discreet mass, however iron can be liquid if it's hot enough... Rei is a pyromancer so...

Yeah, Rei superheats her blood as a last-ditch effort to stay in the fight. And from what it seems, it's as painful as it sounds. It seems like she's actually able to produce hotter flames as well since she can melt whatever chunks of iron Kestrel throws her way. When Kestrel is able to grip on of Rei's hands, and Rei grips Kestrel's other hand... It does not go well for either of them. On of Kestrel's hands is a metal claw, and it is able to draw blood. Superheated, burning blood. Seriously, ow. Kestrel's other hand is not metal so... Yeah, given the amount of heat Rei is generating and how angry she is, his hand is instantly charbroiled. It's pretty clear that neither of them can keep this up. Kestrel uses his iron hand to send a spike through Rei's, which is enough to get her to let go. Yet Kestrel's iron arm has been damaged from the intense heat, including the hooks that hold it to the stump. Rei tears it right off, which gives her an opening to punch Kestrel right in his dumb face. Hard enough to break teeth. With fists that are on fire.

After winning the fight, Rei understandably wants to know what the what. Kestrel though... he's never been a very forthcoming guy and even when he does give answers they tend to not be very satisfying. Not much has changed then. He first says that Orochi wants Rei's power. Her fire. Only that's not good enough. Rei doesn't care why Orochi wants her, she wants to know why Kestrel agreed to it. Kestrel says that it was only a job. OK... still not a satisfying answer, and one that just makes Rei even more riled up. Still hurting from the realization that Kestrel is not and never was a friend.

Yet after all this, Rei can't bring herself to incinerate the creep. She remembers what happened to Chloe and all the pain it caused. All she can do is ineptly pummel the ground with her fire. Kestrel sees this as an opening and uses his ferromancy on his remaining, dead hand to make another spike bursting through the remains of his hand. Oh, Kestrel. You really should have quit while you were ahead. Kestrel is immediately consumed by an inferno. Most of him anyway. His remaining arm with the spike protruding from it survived. It got close enough to draw blood from Rei's neck.

As for Rei herself... She notes that the fire in her blood seems to have sealed her wounds and scorched her clothes. She can't feel anything in her right hand after it was pierced with Kestrel's iron spike. Also, now seems like a great time to pass out, so she does.

Aside from the fight with Kestrel, there's not much to comment on in this chapter. Rei still holds out hope that she might have meant something to Kestrel. Something other than a target. This speaks to Rei's better nature that despite everything, she still wanted to believe better of Kestrel. This gets unambiguously thrown back in her face though. The door is pretty firmly shut on Kestrel now. Don't worry, Rei. Some part of him will always be with you. I mean... some of him might be in your lungs now.

You want some Cursed World lore? Well, I'll give you Chapter Twenty-four!

Next Chapter is also the last one, so I'll tell you where we're at for the next book. Aeon Legion has one vote, and RWBY After the Fall has two.

[Rater202]

Alright, let's do this thing.
Seriously, is there just a slow-burning pile of Tabaco not-unlike the "tire-fire" at the Springfield tire yard? You'd think eventually a mostly abandoned section of town would stop smelling like Tobacco eventually, especially since we only get that description outside.

Kestral's good at this. t's never a good sign when the bad guy's good at this.

Rei? He can't kill her if his crotch is on fire. Fire is faster than swords. Nobody ever aims for the groin in these stories.

Also, this is the part where you act surprised that your friends followed you.

Verde, if those thoughts always plague your mind then you might want to see a Shrink but this is the worst possible time for self-doubt.

Oh... she gets off o pain... that's, uh... Something to keep an eye on, in case it becomes a problem.

stamina is drawn into a drawing.

the puppet is much creepy.

"I can be traumatized about killing someone later's" gotta be up there with the greatsof black comedy.

Verde, always double tap!

Evil cliffhanger is evil.

Teasing of the thing, also more hints that the Umbrella is a weapon.

It's honestly hard to take the Dad puppet seriously knoing what Ella is capable of.It's be suspenseful if I was blind but knowing that a little bit of day old blood will let her tear it apart just makes me think that it came to the wrong neighborhood.

It's a bad sign that Gamma didn't notice that he'd been shot.

And it seems that The Fury snipped me with chapter twerty-three, so I'll stop here for now.well, this'll be fin to read.

[LaZodiac]

Aaah... It's true. Though it is kind of funny.


Our Chapter opens with Kestrel and Rei having their fight. It's a rough one, because Kestrel has his iron arm, with its clawed hand and jagged edges. He's even able to pull bits of it off to make weapons. Eventually, Kestrel gets the upper hand and he's got his ferromancy. He says that he won't kill Rei, but this will hurt. It's hard to say what's exactly happening because we only know what Rei is feeling, but I think Kestrel is using ferromancy to restrict Rei's bloodflow until she passes out. Rei has an idea though. As far as we can tell Kestrel's ferromancy mashes the iron particles in the blood into a discreet mass, however iron can be liquid if it's hot enough... Rei is a pyromancer so...

Yeah, Rei superheats her blood as a last-ditch effort to stay in the fight. And from what it seems, it's as painful as it sounds. It seems like she's actually able to produce hotter flames as well since she can melt whatever chunks of iron Kestrel throws her way. When Kestrel is able to grip on of Rei's hands, and Rei grips Kestrel's other hand... It does not go well for either of them. On of Kestrel's hands is a metal claw, and it is able to draw blood. Superheated, burning blood. Seriously, ow. Kestrel's other hand is not metal so... Yeah, given the amount of heat Rei is generating and how angry she is, his hand is instantly charbroiled. It's pretty clear that neither of them can keep this up. Kestrel uses his iron hand to send a spike through Rei's, which is enough to get her to let go. Yet Kestrel's iron arm has been damaged from the intense heat, including the hooks that hold it to the stump. Rei tears it right off, which gives her an opening to punch Kestrel right in his dumb face. Hard enough to break teeth. With fists that are on fire.

After winning the fight, Rei understandably wants to know what the what. Kestrel though... he's never been a very forthcoming guy and even when he does give answers they tend to not be very satisfying. Not much has changed then. He first says that Orochi wants Rei's power. Her fire. Only that's not good enough. Rei doesn't care why Orochi wants her, she wants to know why Kestrel agreed to it. Kestrel says that it was only a job. OK... still not a satisfying answer, and one that just makes Rei even more riled up. Still hurting from the realization that Kestrel is not and never was a friend.

Yet after all this, Rei can't bring herself to incinerate the creep. She remembers what happened to Chloe and all the pain it caused. All she can do is ineptly pummel the ground with her fire. Kestrel sees this as an opening and uses his ferromancy on his remaining, dead hand to make another spike bursting through the remains of his hand. Oh, Kestrel. You really should have quit while you were ahead. Kestrel is immediately consumed by an inferno. Most of him anyway. His remaining arm with the spike protruding from it survived. It got close enough to draw blood from Rei's neck.

As for Rei herself... She notes that the fire in her blood seems to have sealed her wounds and scorched her clothes. She can't feel anything in her right hand after it was pierced with Kestrel's iron spike. Also, now seems like a great time to pass out, so she does.

Aside from the fight with Kestrel, there's not much to comment on in this chapter. Rei still holds out hope that she might have meant something to Kestrel. Something other than a target. This speaks to Rei's better nature that despite everything, she still wanted to believe better of Kestrel. This gets unambiguously thrown back in her face though. The door is pretty firmly shut on Kestrel now. Don't worry, Rei. Some part of him will always be with you. I mean... some of him might be in your lungs now.

You want some Cursed World lore? Well, I'll give you Chapter Twenty-four!

Next Chapter is also the last one, so I'll tell you where we're at for the next book. Aeon Legion has one vote, and RWBY After the Fall has two.

Hard to believe we've hit the end of the climax. It feels so soon! And the next chapter is the end!

Rei setting herself on fire to the point where her blood literally starts hurting her might not be as metal as what Verde did, but it is PRETTY rad.

This has been amazing fun. I'm glad everyone has liked my book, and the feedback I've gained from this is unbelievably good. Thank you all so much. I can't believe karma and also my own damn self has decided that next up I'll be buying a RWBY book.


Alright, let's do this thing.
Seriously, is there just a slow-burning pile of Tabaco not-unlike the "tire-fire" at the Springfield tire yard? You'd think eventually a mostly abandoned section of town would stop smelling like Tobacco eventually, especially since we only get that description outside.

Kestral's good at this. t's never a good sign when the bad guy's good at this.

Rei? He can't kill her if his crotch is on fire. Fire is faster than swords. Nobody ever aims for the groin in these stories.

Also, this is the part where you act surprised that your friends followed you.

Verde, if those thoughts always plague your mind then you might want to see a Shrink but this is the worst possible time for self-doubt.

Oh... she gets off o pain... that's, uh... Something to keep an eye on, in case it becomes a problem.

stamina is drawn into a drawing.

the puppet is much creepy.

"I can be traumatized about killing someone later's" gotta be up there with the greatsof black comedy.

Verde, always double tap!

Evil cliffhanger is evil.

Teasing of the thing, also more hints that the Umbrella is a weapon.

It's honestly hard to take the Dad puppet seriously knoing what Ella is capable of.It's be suspenseful if I was blind but knowing that a little bit of day old blood will let her tear it apart just makes me think that it came to the wrong neighborhood.

It's a bad sign that Gamma didn't notice that he'd been shot.

And it seems that The Fury snipped me with chapter twerty-three, so I'll stop here for now.well, this'll be fin to read.

So, this is something that gets across better if you just like... have a place in town like Gold Row lke I do, but there are sections of town up here that are frequented enough that they are always in bad repair, always stink, and are always just super unpleasant to go down. The main road down Gold Row has that same unfortunate fate.

Verde has found a therapist and it is "extreme violence on this puppet". This might not be good for her. Also that dark joke is gonna probably come back some day and ooh boy that's gonna be fun.

I'd honestly never considered the idea of this scene coming off as less dramatic once you know what Ella is capable of. It completely tracks with what I have planned for her, so it'll be hilarious to see people react to what happens when/if Ella actually goes COMPLETELY off the chain, but... we'll see when we see it.

[Rater202]

Rei? No. The appropriate response would be to calmly ask hat the hell he's talking about. Try to shake his confidence by making him question his grasp of the situation.

Or set his testicles on fire. That is quite an effective solution to the current predicament.

Rei needs to learn how to quick-draw for this exact situation.

"What makes you think I'm alone?" would be a more impressive line if things had gone according to plan, methinks.

Ella's family has magic books.

Aria clearly senses Ella's power level.

You know, since so much of Kestral's power is based on the manipulation of blood via molecular iron in the bloodstream/cells, if Ella had trained properly she'd probably been the best person to stop him.

...I wonder if this is gonna be a case of "fighting against this is making it worse?" I mean, if Ellasimply tasting blood makes her crave more... Maybe she just needs to drink a little blood every mow and then? I recall a Dresden Files book that has Harry and Thomas running on the beach, the topic comes tovampiric feeding and how Thomas limits his feeding to only small, bare amounts, and then to make a point as soon as they're done running and Harry takes a sip from his water bottle Thomas knocks it out of his hands. "That's what it's like." Maybe she needs a certain ammount of blood, has gotten used to being "hungry" and when she indulges just a tiny bit suddenly she realizes how "hungry" she is and has to fight to keep from fully indulging?

Or maybe I'm overthinking it.

Ohh, what does the blank eyes mean?

What is the umbrella made of? A regular one would have broken before the table did.

...Five years ago? When the night club burned down?

...Aria, you know as well as I do that that's not gonna get the message across. Cutting abloody swath through ONY and leaving Lord Orochi a criplled wreck might just barely make them consider it.

Normalizing abuse?
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Orochi and everyone who agrees with him needs to die.

That's a death flag.

It's a bit concerning that Verde is enjoying this. God damn she is the vegeta.

Verde's strangest spell is "razor?"

And she's smiling as she passes out. Get a therapist girl, that's not healthy.

Of course, Verde and Gamma actually being there would have been more effective, but a bluff to lead someone into a trap works just as well.

...Yeah, that are is disturbing and visceral.