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View Full Version : Create the lamest, cheesiest encounter, ever!



Mr. Friendly
2007-10-29, 09:18 AM
Ok, the idea here is to make a completely cheesy, silly enounter... that would maul a group of PCs.

The elements:

The enounter must contain some or all of the following character stylings/themes:


My Little Pony
Rainbow Bright
Strawberry Shortcake
Care Bears
Cabbage Patch Kids
Smurfs
Snorks
Barbie
Something equally cheesy


Now if you are offended that I labeled the above lame and chessy, well.. um...

Anyway, design an encounter using various monsters to represent the various themes and create a fairly deadly encounter that will have the PCs crying.... after they just spent 10 minutes laughing and deriding the encounter upon hearing your description of it.

Format:

Try to keep it "module style" Like so:

Read the following to the players:
"Description of encounter environment. And any visible creatures and features"

List of creatures involved in the encounter. If something involves major work, list what is involved, for the most part though just a generic listing should be fine.

If you want to get fancy, create a map either in ASCII or make a JPEG/BMP and host and post.

You din't have to put it in encounter format, just a suggested guideline in case someone wants to use it at some point.

This is basically just a pointless activity to pass the time, I am at work and bored. I will submit my own entry after I whip something up.

Citizen Joe
2007-10-29, 09:49 AM
How about "Koolaid man" crashes through a wall

playswithfire
2007-10-29, 10:08 AM
Care bears are probably monstrous halfling werebears using either the black bear or brown bear as base creature depending on what level you want the encounter to be. Monstrous is the template from savage species that grants a special attack one of the options being a gaze attack. (CARE BEAR STARE!)

For specifics:
Forest Friend Bear - Druid or Ranger
Grams Bear - Truenamer (or sorceress to stay core)
Surprise Bear - Rogue
Cheer Bear - Bard
Wish Bear - Cleric (Luck, Animal domains)

Without knowing what level you're going for, that's the best I've got right now.

Mr. Friendly
2007-10-29, 10:14 AM
playswithfire: I left the level range intentionally blank so that people could create whatever level encounter they wanted. I should have noted that the encounter should maul a party of apporpriate level to the EL of the encounter.

Citizen Joe: Kool Aid Golem? Blood Golem of Hextor? :D

Citizen Joe
2007-10-29, 10:19 AM
Koolaid Man: Glass golem holding a red coloured gelatainous cube.

Keld Denar
2007-10-29, 10:32 AM
5 (or possibly 6) fighter/monk/totemists wearing red/black/blue/yellow/pink (and maybe green) tabards over chain shirts. After they get beat up a bit, they all call out "ITS MORPHIN TIME" and activate a use-active unslotted magic item of polymorth into a dinosaur shape. If they still are getting beat, they activate another 1x/day magic item that polymorphs all of the dinosaurs into a single garganuan iron golem. If THAT starts to get beat, the green one comes in and makes the golem a collossel Iron Golem in the shape of a dragon that shoots LAZERS!

If you as a DM are still alive, consious, and still have all of your extemities in working condition, then I commend your players on their remarkable restraint. I'd probably end up slapping you silly for pulling something like this.

Xefas
2007-10-29, 10:52 AM
This is more homebrew, but I feel it fits the exercise...


Smurf Swarm
Diminutive Aberration (Swarm)
HD 3d8 (13hp)
Speed 40 ft. (8 squares)
Init: +9
AC 19; touch 19; flat-footed 14
(+4 size, +5 dex)
BAB +2; Grp -
Attack Swarm (1d6)
Full-Attack Swarm (1d6)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 0 ft.
Special Attacks Distraction, Burrow
Special Qualities Darkvision, Swarm Traits, immunity to weapon damage
Saves Fort +1 Ref +6 Will +3
Abilities Str 1, Dex 20, Con 11, Int 10, Wis 11, Cha 4
Skills Spot +6, Listen +6
Feats Improved Initiative, Ability Focus (Distraction)
Environment Temperate Forests
Organization Solitary, Infestation (2-5), Plague (6-10)
Challenge Rating 2
Treasure None
Alignment Chaotic Evil
Advancement -
Level Adjustment -

A Smurf Swarm is a whirlwind of gnashing teeth, consisting of 1,499 tiny blue men and 1 tiny blue woman, who work in concert with a fury, bloodlust, and humanoid sentience that is unmatched among similar creatures. Fortunately, they are too weak to pose a threat for organized societies, but instead make a habit of waylaying lone travelers. If a Smurf Swarm happens to live in a city, then it instead comes out at night to devour domesticated animals or homeless people.

Distraction (Ex): Any living creature that begins its turn with a swarm in its space must succeed on a DC 13 Fortitude save or be nauseated for 1 round. The save DC is Constitution-based.

Burrow (Ex): If a Smurf Swarm succeeds on a swarm attack, several of the Smurfs in the swarm begin to enter the wounds of the victim, burrowing into their flesh, and eating them from the inside out. The target must attempt a reflex save (DC 11). If they fail, on the following turn and every turn thereafter, they take 1d4 constitution damage until they die of internal wounds.
Any spell that cures a disease, such as remove disease or heal will kill all burrowing Smurfs and stop the constitution damage, but it does not protect against further burrowing attempts.
Creatures immune to disease, or that have a Natural Armor bonus of +3 or higher are also immune to a Smurf Swarm's burrowing ability.

Azerian Kelimon
2007-10-29, 10:54 AM
Everything the OP mentioned as titanic shaodw illusions....plus TODPPTPDC. Instant kill.

Mr. Friendly
2007-10-29, 10:59 AM
Xefas, lussmanj: Brilliant.

:smallbiggrin:

Shishnarfne
2007-10-29, 11:39 AM
One more option for Smurf goodness:

Blue goblin psions. Just play the theme song every time one uses a telepathy power (ego whip and mind thrust preferred) on the players. Just imagine: the music is hurting your PC's... or destroying their Ego.

It's not as creative as the previous one, but I couldn't resist mentioning this idea.

Azerian Kelimon
2007-10-29, 11:52 AM
And make the female smurf a diminutive succubus. Very ironically appropiate.

Runolfr
2007-10-29, 11:59 AM
The party meet a tall, beautiful blond (possibly with assorted beautiful friends and hunky boyfriend) with a spiffy pink coach pulled by exquisite white horses. She invites the party to stay for the night in her fairy-tale castle, which is exquisitely appointed but surprisingly lacking in staff.

Once inside, the castle gates lock, the lady is revealed to be an advanced Succubus (with ranks in the Fiend of Corruption class from Fiend Folio, if you're so inclined) who attempts to "perfect" the party into her mindless, greedy slaves who care about nothing but their own appearances.

In their efforts to escape the castle, they may encounter all manner of cute but deadly monsters:

The castle is infested with blue-skinned jermlaine, one of them (distinguished by its red attire) an accomplished sorcerer.
Fiendish horses in the stables.
An evil, feminine fey (possibly a nymph or glaistig) with sorcerous powers emphasizing color sprays, hypnotic patterns, prismatic sprays, etc. -- as appropriate to level.
A druid in a pink dress with a dire-cat animal companion. She is obsessed with fruits and pastries.
A group of evil, awakened bears with dyed fur and levels in assorted classes.
A pack of poorly dressed Manes demons (or dretches, or whatever chubby little demon suits you) that look disturbingly like children.

playswithfire
2007-10-29, 12:01 PM
I'm liking lussmanj's power rangers idea

{table=head]Armor | Weapon | Zord (DnD creature)

Red | Sword | Tyrannosaurus (Tyrannosaurus)

Yellow | Daggers | Sabretooth Tiger (dire tiger)

Blue | Lance | Triceratops (Triceratops)

Pink | Bow | Pterodactyl (Giant Eagle?)

Black | Axe | Mastodon (Elephant)

Green | Dagger (ceremonial) | Dragon (juvenile green dragon)
[/table]

though I might make them as ToB classes or gestalts to just really make this ridiculous

Benejeseret
2007-10-29, 12:21 PM
Two groups of Warforged.

One group are Good aligned of various melee classes multiclassed as X/bard4 or X/wizard3. Lead by Primous Optimal, a minmaxed paladin(X)/bard4. They use their arcane caster levels to use Alter Self, turning them into animated objects...Wagons, carts, boats, large cloth sheets (flyers).

Second group are Evil, most of rogue or warlock classes multiclassed to X/druid5+. Lead by Ultratron, a warlock(X)/Druid8. These warforged turn into various animals, their leader into a large dinosaur, and they terrorize the local humans and the autobots....I mean....the autoforged.


The story begins when on of the PC's gets a cool new wagon....

mistwell
2007-10-29, 12:36 PM
My party really liked (and got beat up by) the Calzone Golem from this free adventure:

http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/oa/20010413a

Belial_the_Leveler
2007-10-29, 12:58 PM
For the Barbie encounter use a succubus pretending to be the count's bimbo. It can be quite silly in some situations-and still very much in character and very serious in others.

Soups
2007-10-29, 01:10 PM
Dire Bunny

You know you want it. Throw the dire template on it. Probably Feral Template from savage species. And to justify its existance, give it the fiend template, or half-fiend template. It will have levels in Barbarian. 5 levels to be exact.

ECL should be around 12.
6d10 HD
Spring attack, mobility, dodge ect other crazy feats
80 ft speed.

...

I need to make this...I'll get back in a couple of hours, need to finish 3D class first.

*DIBS*

Sonofaspectre
2007-10-29, 01:55 PM
Heh, this sounds like a good place for some Robot Chicken.

"My little pony, Apocalypse Ponies!"

Half-Fiendish, Half-Dragon, Horrid Apocalypse Ponies

4 of them.

It's beautiful.

Storm Bringer
2007-10-29, 01:55 PM
the party encountes three summon based mages in strange garb:

the frist, a tallish, borwn haired person, wearing a green vest over orange shirt and light green trousers. his preffered summons are a purple worm like creature (though with a rockey exterior) and a round, leggless golem-thing with great strength in it's arms.

the 2nd is a woman, with ginger hair, a very light yellow top and a exceedingly short pair of denim shorts, held on by red supenders. her summons are of a selection elemental water types, including a pisonic duck like creature.

the final member is a quite young man, wearing blue jeans, a black t-shirt with a blue jacket on top, with a red and white baseball cap and green fingerless gloves. his main summon his a suprisingly cute yellow animal that can summon vast amounts of lighting. he has many, many other summons, more than the other two put together and appears to be a better combatant than the other two.


the groups combat tactics boil down to summoning thier monsters and then standing back while they shout instructions and encoruagement form the sidelines.


I wonder if that's obvious enough that the players will recognise the characters?

Closet_Skeleton
2007-10-29, 02:14 PM
Throw the dire template on it.

Does not exist.

Soups
2007-10-29, 02:32 PM
Does not exist.
Its not a "template", but its just a way for a DM to make an animal worth fighting. Just a way to add HD.

Forrestfire
2007-10-29, 03:03 PM
the party encountes three summon based mages in strange garb:

the frist, a tallish, borwn haired person, wearing a green vest over orange shirt and light green trousers. his preffered summons are a purple worm like creature (though with a rockey exterior) and a round, leggless golem-thing with great strength in it's arms.

the 2nd is a woman, with ginger hair, a very light yellow top and a exceedingly short pair of denim shorts, held on by red supenders. her summons are of a selection elemental water types, including a pisonic duck like creature.

the final member is a quite young man, wearing blue jeans, a black t-shirt with a blue jacket on top, with a red and white baseball cap and green fingerless gloves. his main summon his a suprisingly cute yellow animal that can summon vast amounts of lighting. he has many, many other summons, more than the other two put together and appears to be a better combatant than the other two.


the groups combat tactics boil down to summoning thier monsters and then standing back while they shout instructions and encoruagement form the sidelines.


I wonder if that's obvious enough that the players will recognise the characters?

Oh! Oh! Pokemon

nhbdy
2007-10-29, 03:15 PM
Oh! Oh! Pokemon

thank you that was the joke

Valairn
2007-10-29, 03:46 PM
Creationist and Evolutionist walk into a room, both are dumb enough to start arguing. Commence lamest encounter ever....

On a more serious note, an encounter with a kitten swarm where every time they kill a kitten you move their alignment more and more towards evil would be quite hilarious.

Assasinater
2007-10-29, 05:31 PM
Introduce an unarmed, unarmored epic-level orc barbarian with a Jump skill somehow over hundreds, who is only wearing purple shorts and refers to himself as third person.

OOTS_Rules.
2007-10-29, 05:51 PM
4 Enlarged and awakened turtles all jump out and attack. They are lead by an enlarged, awakened rat.

The rat, level gestalt 25 Fighter//10 Rogue/10 Ninja, wields a Greatclub with only 1 hand and balances skills. He has no dump-stat

The blue turtle, a gestalt 20 Ranger//10 Rogue/10 Ninja dual-wields bastard swords and uses agile skills. His dump-stat is dexterity, and wisdom is his main stat.

The purple turtle, gestalt 20 Monk//10 Rogue/10 Ninja uses a mighty quarterstaff and puts all of his ranks in UMD. Out of all of the turtles, has the biggest dump-stat in constitution, and his main stat is intelligence.

The orange turtle, gestalt 20 Bard//10 Rogue/10 Ninja uses two nunchaku and acts as the party face. He dump-statted his intelligence, but has very high charisma.

Finaly, the red turtle, gestalt 20 Barbarian//10 Rogue/10 Ninja, uses two sai and dump-stats charisma for combat skills and high strength scores.

Behold_the_Void
2007-10-29, 06:02 PM
I made a nice class for this awhile back.

Prism Ranger
Prism Rangers are heroes of justice clad in colored suits with black visors that obscure their identity. Known to pose dramatically before launching themselves into battle, they gain power from the presence of their allies, the fellow Prism Rangers. A full team of Prism Rangers is seven people, each bearing the color of either red, yellow, orange, blue, green, purple, or indigo. Each Prism is known by their color, and the leader of the team is always Prism Red.

Hit Die: d10

Requirements: To become a Prism Ranger, you must fulfill all the following criteria.
BAB: +7
Skills: Jump +6, Climb +3
Special: Be accepted as a member of the Prism Rangers, or make enough of the costumes to start your own team.

Good BAB (as Fighter)
Good Fortitude save, poor Reflex and Will saves.

Special Abilities:
1 – Sentei Suit, 1st Pose
2 – 2nd Pose
3 – 3rd Pose
4 – 4th Pose
5 – Final Pose

Class Skills: A Defender of Earth’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are: Climb (Str), Craft (Int), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Move Silently (Dex), and Swim (Str).

Skill Points Each Level: 2 + Int Modifier

Class Features:
All of the following are class features of the Prism Ranger class.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Prism Rangers gain no additional proficiencies.

Sentei Suit: Each Prism Ranger receives a Sentei Suit in their color. In order to receive the bonuses from any of their class abilities, they must wear the Sentei Suit, which counts as clothing and weighs 5 lbs. when not worn. The Sentei Suit also determines what the Prism Ranger is called when in battle, for example the wearer of the Yellow Suit assumes the title of “Prism Yellow.” If the Sentei Suit is lost or damaged, a new one can be provided at no cost to the Prism Ranger.

The Sentei Suit also defines the full compliment of Prism Rangers that can be involved in the poses (see below). A full team consists of 7 rangers, a Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, and Violet ranger respectively. No pose can gain benefits from any duplicate members, and the maximum bonus to any ability from poses is +7 with all seven members present.

1st Pose (Ex): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity, the Prism Ranger may pose dramatically, gaining a morale bonus to attack rolls based on how many other Prism Rangers are within 30 feet of them. This bonus lasts for an hour/Prism Ranger level, but must be done in front of a sentient being who is not a Prism Ranger. The person does not need to be hostile for the Prism Ranger to use this ability. If any Prism Ranger is brought below 0 hit points, any benefits they give to the pose are negated, until the point that they are brought back to positive hit points (assuming the duration has not expired).

2nd Pose (Ex): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity any time after completing the first pose while still receiving the benefit from it, the Prism Ranger may pose again to gain a morale bonus to damage based on how many Prism Rangers are within 30 feet of them. As with the other poses, this must be done in front of a sentient being that is not a Prism Ranger. The second pose restores the amount of time left in the first pose to maximum. If any Prism Ranger is brought below 0 hit points, any benefits they give to the pose are negated, until the point that they are brought back to positive hit points (assuming the duration has not expired).

3rd Pose (Ex): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity any time after completing the first and second pose while still receiving the benefits from them, the Prism Ranger may pose again to gain a morale bonus to all saves based on how many Prism Rangers are within 30 feet of them. As with the other poses, this must be done in front of a sentient being that is not a Prism Ranger. The third pose restores the amount of time left in the first and second pose to maximum. If any Prism Ranger is brought below 0 hit points, any benefits they give to the pose are negated, until the point that they are brought back to positive hit points (assuming the duration has not expired).

4th Pose (Ex): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity any time after completing the first, second, and third poses while still receiving the benefits from them, the Prism Ranger may pose again to gain a morale bonus to AC based on how many Prism Rangers are within 30 feet of them. As with the other poses, this must be done in front of a sentient being that is not a Prism Ranger. The fourth pose restores the amount of time left in the first, second, and third poses to maximum. If any Prism Ranger is brought below 0 hit points, any benefits they give to the pose are negated, until the point that they are brought back to positive hit points (assuming the duration has not expired).

Final Pose (Ex): As a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity any time after completing the first, second, third and fourth poses while still receiving the benefits from them, the Prism Ranger may pose again to gain spell resistance equal to 10 + character level + amount of Prism Rangers within 30 feet of them. As with the other poses, this must be done in front of a sentient being that is not a Prism Ranger. The final pose restores the amount of time left in the first, second, third and fourth poses to maximum. If any Prism Ranger is brought below 0 hit points, any benefits they give to the pose are negated, until the point that they are brought back to positive hit points (assuming the duration has not expired).

Mewtarthio
2007-10-29, 06:16 PM
The Valley of Joy. A community of unnervingly happy individuals built around a giant tree called the Rainbow Tree of Fantastic Majesty and filled with trees said to be grown from its seeds. If the PCs attempt to sell anything, the citizens will insist that the Rainbow Tree frowns upon worldy possessions. The only items sold are potions that cause hallucinations and Rainbow Tree Leaves (which, when burnt, create an inhaled poison that does 1 Int damage intial and 1d6 Int damage secondary, DC 10). The trees are all Awakened Tree Psions, and the Rainbow Tree itself is a Psion (telepath) 6 / Thrallherd 10(some of the more powerful trees also have ranks in Thrallherd). The PCs likely won't trust the Rainbow Tree, but all the other trees can go completely unnoticed, since there's no way to tell that they're manifesting.

The story behind the valley is that a Rogue once stole a variety of items from a cabal of Druids, including a jar of seeds and a scroll of awaken. Unfortunately, he didn't bother reading the label on the seeds, which read: "WARNING: Do not allow this tree to taste power, lest it become corrupted and consume all that was once good in this world." He planted a seed, then UMD'd the scroll in hopes that the tree would tell him of its powers, and so the Rainbow Tree of Fantastic Majesty was born.

AKA_Bait
2007-10-29, 06:36 PM
Dire Bunny

You know you want it. Throw the dire template on it. Probably Feral Template from savage species. And to justify its existance, give it the fiend template, or half-fiend template. It will have levels in Barbarian. 5 levels to be exact.


This thing needs vorpal teeth.

TheLogman
2007-10-29, 07:16 PM
Commoner, or possibly Sorcerer, depending on what you figure. Assisted by a number of Animated Objects, awakened, but each with an extreme personality or flaw. They each move on wheels at a speed of 60, and are made of metal with a hardness of 30. They may make Overrun attempts, but do not have trample.

The first is a small, overzealous orange object that can pour a fast-acting adhesive that acts as that one adhesive in the DMG.

The second is a Large blue object that has a crane and can grapple from 20 feet away, gets a +5 on that check, and cannot be grappled back however, the blue object is afraid of heights, and moves at quarter speed and has a -5 on all checks, attacks, damage, and saves when at a spot at least 30 feet above the ground.

The third is a Large yellow object that has two containers on each side that can hold up to 2 small or one medium objects. It also gains a +10 on all attacks made against other objects, and has a Charisma of 16 (The highest of the group)

The fourth is a Large red object similar to the yellow one, but evidently female, but the second container can hold a Large object instead. The red object also has a -5 to all will saves

The fifth and final object is a Large, green object. It is able to Trample while making an overrun attempt, but Tramples for 7d6 bludgeoning damage. It is excessively talkative, and will feel left out if not continually composing new songs or talking.

All five are exceptionally dangerous alone, but are even worse when together, and will pursue an objective with a singular obsession.

Irreverent Fool
2007-10-29, 07:30 PM
Commoner, or possibly Sorcerer, depending on what you figure. Assisted by a number of Animated Objects, awakened, but each with an extreme personality or flaw. They each move on wheels at a speed of 60, and are made of metal with a hardness of 30. They may make Overrun attempts, but do not have trample.

The first is a small, overzealous orange object that can pour a fast-acting adhesive that acts as that one adhesive in the DMG.

The second is a Large blue object that has a crane and can grapple from 20 feet away, gets a +5 on that check, and cannot be grappled back however, the blue object is afraid of heights, and moves at quarter speed and has a -5 on all checks, attacks, damage, and saves when at a spot at least 30 feet above the ground.

The third is a Large yellow object that has two containers on each side that can hold up to 2 small or one medium objects. It also gains a +10 on all attacks made against other objects, and has a Charisma of 16 (The highest of the group)

The fourth is a Large red object similar to the yellow one, but evidently female, but the second container can hold a Large object instead. The red object also has a -5 to all will saves

The fifth and final object is a Large, green object. It is able to Trample while making an overrun attempt, but Tramples for 7d6 bludgeoning damage. It is excessively talkative, and will feel left out if not continually composing new songs or talking.

All five are exceptionally dangerous alone, but are even worse when together, and will pursue an objective with a singular obsession.

I don't get it.

0oo0
2007-10-29, 07:32 PM
I don't get it.

Can We Build It!?!

Azerian Kelimon
2007-10-29, 07:45 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! NOT THAT ONE!


Hells bells take me down if I ever fight something like that. Scaaaaaaary.

Doresain
2007-10-29, 07:49 PM
an ancient and secret temple dedicated to some terrible god of blood and evil...the door to the temple is sealed, but a huge animated stone face with an obnoxiously loud voice near the door tells the PCs that they must collect 3 pieces of a silver statue that resembles an ape and place them on the shrine deep within the temple...throughout the temple are undead (im thinking either bone creatures from BoVD or mummies) guards that try to take the PCs away into the darkness, leaving them to an unknown fate*...each of the pieces of the silver ape are guarded by numerous of these undead and clever traps...once the PCs collect the ape statue and place it on the shrine, a hidden door behind the shrine reveals a treasure room...

*ive always been curious as to what actually happens to them on that show...i assume ritual sacrifice, but i could be wrong

OOTS_Rules.
2007-10-29, 08:29 PM
an ancient and secret temple dedicated to some terrible god of blood and evil...the door to the temple is sealed, but a huge animated stone face with an obnoxiously loud voice near the door tells the PCs that they must collect 3 pieces of a silver statue that resembles an ape and place them on the shrine deep within the temple...throughout the temple are undead (im thinking either bone creatures from BoVD or mummies) guards that try to take the PCs away into the darkness, leaving them to an unknown fate*...each of the pieces of the silver ape are guarded by numerous of these undead and clever traps...once the PCs collect the ape statue and place it on the shrine, a hidden door behind the shrine reveals a treasure room...

*ive always been curious as to what actually happens to them on that show...i assume ritual sacrifice, but i could be wrong

That show rocks.

Khosan
2007-10-29, 08:34 PM
Cheese golem with a broken leg?

Darkxarth
2007-10-29, 09:35 PM
4 Enlarged and awakened turtles all jump out and attack. They are lead by an enlarged, awakened rat.

The rat, level gestalt 25 Fighter//10 Rogue/10 Ninja, wields a Greatclub with only 1 hand and balances skills. He has no dump-stat

The blue turtle, a gestalt 20 Ranger//10 Rogue/10 Ninja dual-wields bastard swords and uses agile skills. His dump-stat is dexterity, and wisdom is his main stat.

The purple turtle, gestalt 20 Monk//10 Rogue/10 Ninja uses a mighty quarterstaff and puts all of his ranks in UMD. Out of all of the turtles, has the biggest dump-stat in constitution, and his main stat is intelligence.

The orange turtle, gestalt 20 Bard//10 Rogue/10 Ninja uses two nunchaku and acts as the party face. He dump-statted his intelligence, but has very high charisma.

Finaly, the red turtle, gestalt 20 Barbarian//10 Rogue/10 Ninja, uses two sai and dump-stats charisma for combat skills and high strength scores.

Wait? What's this? I seem to recall creating a race of intelligent, humanoid turtles...
Anthropomorphic Turtle

+6 Con, +2 Strength, +2 Wisdom, -2 Dex
Medium Sized
Base Land Speed: 30 ft
Swim Speed: 20 ft
Racial Hit Dice: An Anthropomorphic Turtle begins with two levels of monstrous humanoid, which provide 2d8 Hit Dice, a base attack bonus of +2, and base saving throw bonuses of Fort +0, Ref +3, and Will +3.
Racial Skills: An Anthropomorphic Turtle's monstrous humanoid levels give it skill points equal to 5 × (2 + Int modifier, minimum 1). Its class skills are Spot and Listen. Anthropomorphic Turtles have a +4 racial bonus on Hide checks (+8 in rocky or underground surroundings). In addition, they have a +8 bonus on Swim checks and have the ability to take 10 on a Swim check at any time.
Racial Feats: An Anthropomorphic Turtle’s monstrous humanoid levels give it one feat.
Special Attacks: None
Special Qualities: Low-Light Vision, Turtle’s Shell
Favored Class: Monk
Level Adjustment: +2

Turtle’s Shell (Ex): An Anthropomorphic Turtle's resilient skin and tough shell give it a +8 natural armor bonus. However, the Anthropomorphic Turtle's shell prevents it from wearing any kind of normal armor. It can however wear Bracers of Armor and it still benefits from the effects of the Mage Armor spell.
As a standard action, which does not provoke an attack of opportunity, an Anthropomorphic Turtle can draw all its extremities into its hard shell. This grants it Damage Reduction 10/-. However, while withdrawn into its shell, the turtle cannot take any physical action (except coming out of its shell), and is treated as flat-footed and blind. The turtle can exit this state and return to its normal state as a move action that does provoke an attack of opportunity.

Anthropomorphic Turtles are land-dwelling, humanoid turtles. They walk upright with a ponderous, rolling gait. The creatures have leathery, reptilian skin and shells that cover their backs and bellies. Only their heads, limbs, and tails stick out of their shells. An adult Anthropomorphic Turtle stands about 6 feet tall and weighs more than 500 pounds.
Anthropomorphic Turtles have no hair; their skin is mostly olive or blue-green. Their back shells are usually shinier and darker than their skin, while their front shells tend to be lighter, with a yellowish cast. An Anthropomorphic Turtle's eyes look something like the eyes of humans, except that the pupils are horizontal ovals in shape. The irises are vibrantly colored, usually blue, but sometimes green or red. An Anthropomorphic Turtle's mouth is beaklike and toothless and can deliver a vicious bite.


I actually put this on the boards here and they helped me tweak it. I also designed four sets of minor artifacts. Two nunchucka, two sais, two katanas, and one quarterstaff. They all had special qualities and were pretty powerful.

Darkxarth
2007-10-29, 09:36 PM
Can We Build It!?!

If we build it, he will come.

Enzario
2007-10-29, 09:55 PM
This is more homebrew, but I feel it fits the exercise...


Smurf Swarm
*snip*

One more ability:

Smurfette: There is a cumulative 1 in 300 chance per point of damage dealt to the swarm that the solitary female smurf is killed. If this happens, the swarm (without the support and necessity of female companionship) will begin to turn in on itself, dealing 1d6 damage per round. During this time, the swarm may only take move actions, and may not deal damage. This state can only be cured by the application of a confusion spell targeted at at least one member of the swarm.

TomTheRat
2007-10-29, 10:31 PM
Ok... on the top of the hill, you see a gazeebo.

Mewtarthio
2007-10-29, 10:38 PM
Can We Build It!?!

I find it's best to picture Sylar from Heroes responding. "Yes, I can fix it... I can fix everything!" Sylar is far less terrifying.

Turcano
2007-10-29, 11:17 PM
It doesn't fit your criteria, but this (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050821.html) is (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050822.html) the lamest encounter ever.

Kompera
2007-10-29, 11:28 PM
Ok, the idea here is to make a completely cheesy, silly enounter... that would maul a group of PCs.

For ultimate cheesiness, whatever foe is selected (I'd lean towards Joe Camel, personally) must be slain by NPCs after nearly defeating the players. Said NPCs must appear without any foreshadowing, be previously unknown to the players, and it must be apparent to the players that this NPC or group of NPCs could easily accomplish whatever mission they are now on, as well as any they may be on in the future, be able to defeat any or all of their arch-foes as well as any NPCs which they have been accepting missions from. And then, like the Lone Ranger (!! it could be the Lone Ranger), said NPC or group of NPCs must vanish without a trace.

And then, rocks must fall.

Guy_Whozevl
2007-10-29, 11:59 PM
An advanced Shocker Lizard that inexplicably is yellow with red cheeks and is actually a rat. The PCs won't know what hit them when you yell:
"It aims for the horn!!!"

Sorry, I couldn't resist after the previous Pokemon joke.

SandDemon
2007-10-30, 12:13 AM
Don't tempt me to make a Dire Purple Feral Dinosaur with inherent Charm Person at will! Barney will rule the world! :smallfrown:

shadowdemon_lord
2007-10-30, 02:11 AM
A group of Japanese school kids (in a world without Japan) with strange mostly bipedal creatures that walk around with them, no two alike. In times of need, they polymorph themselves intohuge or gargantuan creatures bearing little (if any) resemblance to their previous selves. During the polymorph spell their names are called out in stereo, and then "polymorphs into" and the names of their new form (always the same). In times of extreme need, they can again polymorph into even bigger more powerful creatures. Once the need is over, they turn back into their previous selves (or slightly differed blobs if they polymorphed twice). Sorry for the lack of specifics, it's been years since I saw that show. Any DM who did this of course, would be very deserved of a come uppance from his players.

Tengu
2007-10-30, 07:50 AM
It doesn't fit your criteria, but this (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050821.html) is (http://goblinscomic.com/d/20050822.html) the lamest encounter ever.

Aaah, the good times when Goblins actually had humour, not 20-panel boring battles!

woc33
2007-10-30, 12:35 PM
I know, a human sorcerer with MPD that uses scrolls written on cards. Whenever a battle begins his alter ego takes control. He then draws 5 cards from his deck. every time his turn comes he draws another card. He only uses spells that are on his cards.

I hope you understand what i'm talking about :smallwink:

TheLogman
2007-10-30, 12:50 PM
There was a class posted on these forums called the palmist that did just that, you could capture monsters, spells, and even planar traits, and summon them using the slight of hand skill.

Cristo Meyers
2007-10-30, 12:56 PM
I know, a human sorcerer with MPD that uses scrolls written on cards. Whenever a battle begins his alter ego takes control. He then draws 5 cards from his deck. every time his turn comes he draws another card. He only uses spells that are on his cards.

I hope you understand what i'm talking about :smallwink:

Would to God that I didn't...

The shame...it BURNS!!

Lolzords
2007-10-30, 04:05 PM
I was thinking maybe a barbie doll succubus.

Runolfr
2007-10-30, 04:12 PM
I was thinking maybe a barbie doll succubus.

Dude, you are so Ninja'd. :smalltongue: