Brutal Races - London to Vienna Tournament IC & Results

[Lacco]

"...and now, live from the first annual Brütâl Race Tournament London-Vienna, our intrepid field reporters - Crash and Bash!
"
https://thumbs.gfycat.com/EmbarrassedHoarseDunnart-small.gif

"Good morning, Helen, good morning, dear viewers! We are here to enjoy some fine destructive racing by our three competitors (so far)!"

He points towards the cars.

"In Lane 1 starts Drake, with his car, Running in the 90's. No idea what that means, but his vehicle is packing some serious heavy-caliber turrets. Lane 3 now belongs to Rick R. Mortis and his Meat Wagon - a charming and very telling name. Lane 5 is occupied by a lady, Elvira and her charming speedster called Death Blossum. We will soon see, which one of these three is the best driver."

"Thank you Crash. How is the crowd?"

Crash motions towards Bash.

"We are both ready and very interested. Oh, you mean the guys standing over there? I don't know, most of them just stands and smiles. One of them may have tried to eat my brain."

"And how is the weather?"

"Seems like London will see some sun today, the road is dry and I need a drink too. Oh! Here comes the official with a starting gun!"


*BANG*... *BANG* *BANG* *BANG*

"Okay, that was no official, just some crazy guy who tried shooting into the crowd. Here comes the actual official. Our drivers are getting ready! The street should be now empty - although as I know some London folks, they will definitely try to join the fun! And the race will start soon! Now back to the studio!"

"Again, thank you. We'll be covering the whole race, so get used to us, folks. Those of you, who still own some TV or radio that works - enjoy the show.

[Lacco]

LEADERBOARD



#
Racer
Car
VPs


1.
Rick R. Mortis
Meat Wagon
5


2.
Elvira
Death Blossum
3


3.
Drake
Running in the 90's
2





2nd Leg of Race

https://i.ibb.co/X4pvv09/Map1-2.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

Current Situation

https://i.ibb.co/wJC5By2/Current-Status-R2.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

[RandomLunatic]

At the starting gun, the Meat Wagon took off with screeching rubber and a few BANGs of its own.

(([roll0]
I'll take... the 4.))

[QuadraticGish]

With the ringing of the first shot, the 90's takes off trying to leave all others in its dust.

Moving up by 5 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24639476&postcount=4)

[Lacco]

Sound of revving motors, squealing of tires and smell of burning rubber filled the street.

"And they're off, ladies and gentlemen! A wonderful start! No cars left on the starting line! That's a new record!"

"Yes, Crash! And look at that Toyota, taking lead!"

"But what's that? Oh my, a new contestant! One of those crazy Maniacs that just wish to race but can't pay the entry fee!"

"And he's in lane 4! Wonderful!"

https://i.ibb.co/H72Rv2D/Current-Status.png

[RandomLunatic]

With an invitingly open road laying ahead of him, Rick kept the hammer down.

(([roll0]
Take the 3))

[QuadraticGish]

Instead of trying to change lanes, Drake tries his luck at blowing away the wreck in front of him with the firepower from his triple turret setup which in an unlikely turn of events all miss.

[Lacco]

"Whoa! Look at that! The Meat Wagon takes a lead!"

"Don't look at the station wagon. Look at that Toyota. The driver must be crazy!"

"Why, Bash?"

"Well, he's about to wreck himself on the wreck!"

"Naaah. Enough time to evade that. Or even try to ram through it."

With a little squeal of the brakes Elvira's Death Blossum changed to 6th lane - avoiding the pile of tires. In lane 4, the maniac opened fire, but his wild shooting only made few members of the audience duck.

https://i.ibb.co/44WdCsz/Map1-1.jpg

"Hey, Bash. What is better than having a maniac behind you trying to shoot everyone and anyone?"

"I dunno, Crash. What?"

"Havin' a crazy guy in a buick that wants to crash into your car in front of you!"

"Ooooh, yeah!"

There's a crazy driver, driving in lane 5 opposite you. If there's no car opposite him, he'll try switching lanes, but otherwise will just travel at constant speed until he RAMS something. Or someone!

https://i.ibb.co/fGwSgP6/Crazyyyy.jpg

[RandomLunatic]

Rick raced along, one hand on the wheel, one foot on the floor, and one finger anxiously stroking the trigger of the mortar.

(([roll0]
Take the 6. Eat my dust!))

[QuadraticGish]

Drake quickly changes lanes to the one behind the meat wagon, avoiding the incoming wreck.

Handling Check: Change to lane 3. (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24641141&postcount=12)

[Lacco]

"Screeching of tires, impact of rubber on metal, sounds of destructions."

"Yes, yes. Symphony of destruction, Crash. Most enjoyable."

I agree, Bash. It's exhilarating - the maniac actually managed to crash into the tire pile when he tried to change lane!

"Yes. Wonderful show! As our German viewers might say, Wonderbra!"

"I'd be very surprised if they said that, but look at that beautiful maneuver Drake pulled off! He managed to slip'n'slide to lane 3!"

"A talent, that one. Lady Elvira is now gaining speed, although Meat Wagon's current lead will be hard to negate."

"But he's in the lane with the crazyyy driver! And the guy seems to be actually very interested in seeing how well Meat Wagon's armor holds!"

https://i.ibb.co/Zfw6GYj/Crazyyyy.jpg

"And look at Drake, in lane behind Rick R. Mortis! He has a nice line to shoot!"

https://i.ibb.co/vHPzZZn/Map1-current.jpg

"Between a buick and a machine gun. But look at the speed of the Station Wagon! How can it... waaait. He's redlining, isn't he?"

"The black smoke coming from under the hood seems to indicate that. And once he boils most of his coolant fluid, whatever brand is he using, Elvira or Drake will easily overtake - a bust engine is a bust engine!"

"Let's wait and see how he handles it! Also: we'd like to thank our current sponsor, but alas! He seems to have dropped his newest sponsorship gift - a barrel full of volatile chemicals combined with jet engine gas into the end of our final stretch for this part of the race. It's in lane 4, so if you drivers are hearing this, be aware that trying to collect this gift will most probably cause some damage to your car!"

"Avoid the big red barrel with smoke coming out of it!"




Whole track: (https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HxNIYU8mRnv_T6IKLXnHvvr7RKk2FbrF/view?usp=sharing)
https://i.ibb.co/CK1J2tw/Map1-1.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HxNIYU8mRnv_T6IKLXnHvvr7RKk2FbrF/view?usp=sharing)

[QuadraticGish]

Having a clear road ahead of him, Drake slams the accellerator, trying to speed up as much as possible.

Acceleration: 6 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24641344&postcount=15)

[RandomLunatic]

Rick's eyes narrowed at the Buick in front of him. "This road's getting a little too crowded." He put both hands on the wheel and kept his foot down, playing chicken with the oncoming car.

((I shall ram the Buick when we meet.
[roll0]

Then I'll drop a mortar bomb in the segment containing the oil barrel, because this surely can't end poorly.
[roll1]
[roll2]))

[Lacco]

"...and we're back from the 3.74 second long commercial break!"

*BOOOM*

"Now look at that, Crash! An action-packed moment with Meat Wagon's driver bombarding a poor and defenceless barrel!"

"Yeah, nice job, but I'm more interested in the crash that should occur...! "

Buck and Meat Wagon collide: the two cars hit each other, spinning out of control.

"Looks like something you'll enjoy, Crash!

"Of course - the two cars are both damaged, but it seems that Meat Wagon's still moving! It's a tough life to be a station wagon, but tough life builds character - and the wagon definitely has some!

"In other news: Elvira's starting to redline her engine! Trying to get to the end as fast as she can!

"And followed closely by the Running in the 90's. It's going to be a quick end of a race!

"But alas! Poor Buick, now an abandoned wreck in line 5... we hardly knew ye!"

https://i.ibb.co/yNxWzR4/Map1-current.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/1HxNIYU8mRnv_T6IKLXnHvvr7RKk2FbrF/view?usp=sharing)

Click on the map for view of the whole track!

[RandomLunatic]

Rick waved at the window to the fans as he roared across the finish line.

((No actions, just cruise in for the checkered flag.
[roll0]))

[QuadraticGish]

Seeing little recourse for his situation, Drake accelerates up to his top speed, planning his revenge for the next round.

Speed up by 3 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24648111&postcount=22).

[Lacco]

The engines roar and the crowd goes wild!

"It's the end of the first leg and the contestants head to the bathroom!"

"Yes, it was a narrow finish, Elvira almost Rick R. Mortis with the last-moment acceleration!"

"Absolutely wonderful! I could watch it on an infinite loop!"

"Well, you can, Crash!"

https://i.ibb.co/cD5Hmpx/End1.gif

"Now while Crash is rushing to watch the finish loop, we are going to give out first set of Victory Points!"



Place
Driver
Car
Placement VPs


1st
Rick R. Mortis
Meat Wagon
3 VPs


2nd
Elvira
Death Blossum
2 Vps


3rd
Drake
Running in the 90's
1 VP



Rick also gets the "Wanton Destruction" award of 2 VPs.
Elvira gets the "Top Speed" award of 1 VP.
Drake gets the "Risky Maneuver" award of 1 VP.

"And now we're off to the next commecial break! See you on the start line of leg 2!"

[Lacco]

"...and now we go back to the first annual Brütâl Race Tournament London-Vienna, our intrepid field reporters - Crash and Bash!

https://64.media.tumblr.com/23cb8a70ca05c3617572293b57798b91/tumblr_n4gekg3KsJ1toe3mso1_400.gifv

"We are ready to start reporting!"

"Sure we are. There was some movement during the break, loud clanging noises, some fuel leaks and noises of feline nature..."

"Don't forget: one of our contestants is now carrying a cage full of volatile ferrets!"

"How could I? Makes the event more enjoyable."

"Now our next track is still a nice, straight stretch. That is, until we get to the tunnel - there it will be one curve after another."

"Yes, there are exactly two if I remember right."

"Shut up. Spoiler alerts."

"Very well, let's look at the situation! We have our first contestant on the start line, Elvira on lane 4, waiting for this leg to start. The race official is nowhere to be seen yet. The others are still finishing their cars - they have only few moments to finish their repairs and get to the start line!"

[Lacco]

Second leg of the race:

https://i.ibb.co/2MNWhsf/Map1-2.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

"The racers should take care not to hit the concrete barriers. But otherwise, there is only the dirt patch on the sides - advantage for those with offroad tires - and of course, they should evade the oil spill in lane 5."

"I have also heard some rumors about fourth car preparing to start. The Mime, driving his car full of illegal clowns will join this race and fight for survival!"

[Lacco]

"Look! They are already at the starting line! All of them, including the clown!"

"Yes, yes! Let's get this race started!"

*BANG*

"And that was the racing official! The second leg is starting!"

"Bet on your favourites, because the race is underway again!"

https://i.ibb.co/YbDMNT9/Current-Status.jpg

[RandomLunatic]

Rick floored it out of the starting gate.

(([roll0]

[QuadraticGish]

Not wanting to be left behind, Drake slams down the accelerator.

[roll0] (Choosing highest)

[Lacco]

"And they're off! Look at that: three of our racers - well, two of them and the clown - in a beautiful line formation!

"So far only Drake in his Running in the 90's ignores the formation and it looks like he decided to really put the brick on the pedal to ensure he does not stay behind like last time."

https://i.ibb.co/2djy9hX/Current-Status-R1.jpg

"I agree. It's a relatively slow start, but there's bound to be stuff happening soon...

"And here's your stuff: a crazy guy in junker in lane 6! The fun starts soon in this leg!"

https://i.ibb.co/wd1gpWY/Opponent-junker.jpg

Full Map (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

[RandomLunatic]

Rick shifted gears, looking for one that worked better than the one he was currently in.

(([roll0]
Take the 4.))

[QuadraticGish]

Looking to cause some trouble, Drake sudden shifts into lane 4 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24661328&postcount=30).

[Lacco]

"Look at this: it's starting to look like grand strategy to me, Crash!"

"Yeah, Bash. Last time I've seen maneuvering like this was in the navy."

"You worked in the navy?"

"Yeah, climbed the ranks. Started as target, then got promoted to test torpedo."

"Well, let's get back. Now see here: First Elvira switches behind Meat Wagon, then Drake switches to lane 5, just ahead of the "Road Closed" sign!"

https://i.ibb.co/wJC5By2/Current-Status-R2.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

"Yess and Rick R. Mortis is just trying to get that station wagon into its top speed... oh, the junker at the end of the lane seems to be speeding in lane 6. Won't hit a thing there, pretty sure of that. I only wish there were more of those to bring more excitement to this race!"

"Wish no more, there it is! Another buick, ready to roll and crush, in lane 1!"

https://i.ibb.co/6nnJ6vT/Current-Status-R2-junker.jpg

"Well, this just got a bit more exciting."

"What about the Mime?"

"Still illegally alive, in lane 2. Slow but steady."

[QuadraticGish]

Drake shifts into lane 5, ready to drive through the oil slick.
Handling roll: Here (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24665815&postcount=32)

[RandomLunatic]

Rick loaded a round in his weapon and eyed the encroaching cars.

((If the crazy in lane 6 shifts to lanes 1-5, I'll fire at his segment. He shifts before shooting, so I'll know. Otherwise, I'll fire at the segment occupied by that oncoming driver in lane 1.

[roll0]
[roll1]))

[Lacco]

"It looks like Elvira's trying to catch up on the other drivers! She slammed the accelerator and you can almost smell the burning diesel!"

"Those in the front rows can also feel and taste it!"

"Yeah, everybody's leaking some! And Rick R. Mortis shoots the mortar..."

https://i.ibb.co/kmQT6C0/Current-Status-R3.jpg

"...and there's a big explosion, which engulfs the junker that just switched to lane 5!"

https://i.ibb.co/j3JkbRD/Current-Status-R3-boom.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

"The crowds go wild! Mainly wildly try to escape the shower of concrete debris, molten metal and burnt duct tape! And it looks the junker's even more junked now!"

"Is that even a word? But yeah, the explosion was sufficiently powerful to wreck the poor junker! There's another wreck on the racing track!"

"And the Mime is just rolling down the track like it's some kind of a mime holiday!"

"But look at lane 2 at the end of the track! It's our first legitimate ghost rider!"

"... ... ... ... Awesome."

[QuadraticGish]

Drakes slams down on the gas, trying to get ahead.

Increase speed by 6 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24677357&postcount=35)

[RandomLunatic]

Rick fired another round right towards the road closed sign ahead of him.

((Fire at lane, same segment as the sign.
[roll0]
[roll1]))

[RandomLunatic]

((That was awful, so I'm activating my gunner ability to re-roll.

[roll0]
[roll1]))

[Lacco]

*BOOM*

"The drivers are getting aggressive! Rick is firing his mortar as fast as he can reload and look at Elvira - she rammed the Meat Wagon and overcame!"

"Yes, there were steel plates flying all over the road, but it looks like Meat Wagon withstood the hit without any significant damages!"

"On the other hand, Elvira got caught in the shrapnel and explosion of Rick's mortar shot! It wrecked the 'Road Closed' sign and managed to damage also her car!"

https://i.ibb.co/XxR95F7/Current-Status-R4-boom.jpg

"Let's also have a look at Running in the 90's - lane four is completely free! And the Mime is happily escaping in lane 2! "

"Now the buick tried to change lanes to be able to hit somebody, but... well, you should not take road tires and then drive on the offroad."

"I agree. On the other hand, the poor soulless ghost rider is speeding up. We'll see what he's up to."

https://i.ibb.co/Yt0Q8GL/Current-Status-R4.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

[QuadraticGish]

Drake remains in his lane.
Lane change to 4 (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24692536&postcount=41)

[RandomLunatic]

Rick reached for another round, only to have it squeak. He picked it up in confusion only to discover one of the ferrets had gotten loose. He looked back at the box. "Hmm..."

One bomb, a box of ferrets, and a roll of duct tape later, and Rick delicately inserted his creation into the mortar, and took aim down the road.

((Fire the entire box. [roll0]
[roll1]))

[RandomLunatic]

((Re-roll!
[roll0]
[roll1]))

[Lacco]

"Okay, Crash, too many things happening at the same time!"

"Hell yeah! Drake's just speeding down the road, trying to keep a low profile, just keepin' it straight."

"On the other side of the road, Rick is slowing down to a crawl, doing something in his car!"

"Looks like he's duct-taping something & trying to fit it into his mortar."

"Well, Elvira's speeding up, but look at that! The ghost rider changes lanes, moving right in the opposite!"

"Dangerous situation!"

"And the Mime just decided to switch to lane 6! I think he's crazy, won't be able to control that junk of his on the mud!"

"Talking about crazy..."

*BAMF*

"...is that what I think it is?"

"Holy ferrets! Meat Wagon's driver decided to shoot a cage full of volatile ferrets together with his mortar!"

"WOW!"

"Wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the ferrets!"

"Ferrets everywhere!"

"Okay... so, let's do a blow-by-blow-recap... first, Elvira & Drake just go on, while the ghost rider switches lanes...

https://i.ibb.co/G2Ps81Q/Current-Status-R5-GH.jpg (https://ibb.co/0MJB6Wy)

...then the Mime decides to change lanes, basically deciding to wreck his car against the pump because he can not really control his car when in dirt... while the crazy in Buick RAMS into the wreck, destroys it and then drives through the puddle of oil, losing control and ending in lane 4, alongside Rick's Meat ferretwagon...

https://i.ibb.co/x2vq93d/Current-Status-R5-cars.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

...which ferret-shoots a cage ferret-full of volatile ferret-frickin' FERRETS out of his mortar - who knows where he got those - that landed in the middle of the road, right in front of the ghost rider and close enough for lady E to get caught... did I miss something?"

https://i.ibb.co/T1WN15j/Current-Status-R5-ferrets.jpg (https://ibb.co/YX0VXGn)

"Well... not really, except for your word quota regarding word 'ferret'."

"Who the ferret cares???"

"Just the ferrets, Crash. Just the ferrets."

]https://i.ibb.co/RPVtZfV/Current-Status-R5-full.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

[RandomLunatic]

The damage was done, now Rick put his foot down to play catch up.

(([roll0] Take the higher

And a bonus [roll1] if anything gets in my way.))

[QuadraticGish]

Seeing a clear opening to the end, Drake decides to forgo the bounty to try to reach the first place finish.
Accelerate (https://forums.giantitp.com/showsinglepost.php?p=24703300&postcount=46), up to top speed.

[Lacco]

"Sorry for the blackout folks, our systems went offline for a moment, but we are back and here is what happened!"

"Ferrets..."

"Shutup."

"F..."

*SLAP*

"Thank you! We're back!"

"First things first! Drake finished this leg of the race - he managed to cross the finish line! Closely followed by Elvira! She first slammed the gas, then slammed into the ghost rider, but both were just thrown to different sides due to the crash - no damage done."

https://i.ibb.co/HDpZtJm/Finish.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

"Also, Elvira's ferret got fried before causing any damage! Tasty!"

"The other ferrets - one stuck in ghost riders' skull and engine managed to cause a fiery explosion of his motorcycle!"

"He's toast. And history! A ferret ghost toast!"

https://i.ibb.co/3dHr5Sj/Current-Status-R6-ferrets.jpg (https://drive.google.com/file/d/18tMqi8JqKzzeKt-f2DzlQATKZFbUwnJo/view?usp=sharing)

"And our last racer, Rick R. Mortis, decided to stomp on the gas and is speeding up. Does he stand any chance of getting into the bathroom break? We'll see."

"Aaaaand look at that. Another explosion. The Mime is gone. He is a past Mime. Why? Crashed into the oil well."

"What a sad, sad cloud of smoke!"

[RandomLunatic]

Rick kept the hammer down.

(([roll0] Take the 3))