Traveling in style

[ChudoJogurt]

My party is about to undertake a relatively short, but somewhat arduous trip through the countryside, travelling alongside the NPC aristoctrat who employs them.
They'll have to encounter some mild environmental challenges, track through the mud, rain and high winds, cross overflooding rivers, navigate through forests, climb mountains and etc.

I wish to make party dislike said NPC aristocrat somewhat, and grow resentful of him, so while they struggle and bear the elements, I want to show him as travelling in style and comfort along them, enjoying all sorts of magical amenities.
What sort of thing could he ostensibly use to travel in style and comfort?

The NPC in question would have a sizeable proportion of his WBL (~50k worth of gold) to devote to the nonessential supplies and creature comforts, and a bunch of low-level minions to do his bidding as needed. He is not a spellcaster himself, but he does have quite decent UMD, so he's capable of activating staves and scrolls.

For aesthetic reasons I don't want to use any magic beasts or animals as a ride -- it all has to be done with magic items or summoned creatures.
There is also no access to divine magic for setting reasons, which may restrict the choice of magic items.

What would be the best way for him to travel in comfort and style?

[el minster]

Summon a strong creature to carry him in one of those kites in RotW

[Adamantrue]

Perhaps some form of litter (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litter_(vehicle))? You could always trick it out with extra-dimensional space if you wanted.

[Afghanistan]

Perhaps some form of litter (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litter_(vehicle))? You could always trick it out with extra-dimensional space if you wanted.

This, but the door opens up into Magnificent Mansion with a plethora of slave (charmed) men and women that occasionally exit the litter and totally ignore the players, scoffing at them. Bonus points if you can get them to just scoff at the party if they even suggest freeing them.

[Maat Mons]

The aristocrat isn't actually going anywhere. If he had someplace to be, he'd pay to be teleported there, obviously. This is a scenic tour. It goes in whatever direction the aristocrat's whims dictate. Even if that's straight through the middle of a swamp that could easily have been gone around.

When he gets bored, the aristocrat arranges to be teleported home. But the small army of servants carrying all his luggage have to walk back. As do the PCs, since the aristocrat's stuff needs to be properly protected. When the PCs finally get back to the palace, the aristocrat claims something is missing from the luggage, and docks the PCs' pay. Actually, it was worth more than the amount the PCs were promised, so the aristocrat expects them to pay him.

[Vizzerdrix]

The aristocrat isn't actually going anywhere. If he had someplace to be, he'd pay to be teleported there, obviously. This is a scenic tour. It goes in whatever direction the aristocrat's whims dictate. Even if that's straight through the middle of a swamp that could easily have been gone around.

When he gets bored, the aristocrat arranges to be teleported home. But the small army of servants carrying all his luggage have to walk back. As do the PCs, since the aristocrat's stuff needs to be properly protected. When the PCs finally get back to the palace, the aristocrat claims something is missing from the luggage, and docks the PCs' pay. Actually, it was worth more than the amount the PCs were promised, so the aristocrat expects them to pay him.

Oh I love the sound of this. Please do keep us informed on how things go. :smallredface:

[Tiktakkat]

Have you read the Travel Magic Handbook (http://minmaxforum.com/index.php?topic=17493.0)?

Quick and dirty suggestions:
For housing, I would suggest either a Daern's Instant Tent or a schema or custom item of Leomund's Hidden Lodge.

For travel, I would suggest a Clockwork Steed or a schema or custom item of Phantom Steed.

If you want to cross over and get a big complicated, the Home Away from Pathfinder is a magical wagon that turns into a Leomund's Secure Shelter at night. Horses for it may be an issue though.

If you want to mock WBL go with the Golden Carriage of Gaspar Longfellow, also from Pathfinder. It is 114K, and thoroughly ridiculous in its travel abilities. It does not provide sleeping facilities, though it should at that cost.

[nedz]

A wand of Clothier's Closet is essential (Magic of Eberron p94 — Bard 2, Sorcerer 2, Wizard 2).
At 190gp a charge it's not cheap, and yesterday's clothes get given to the PCs.

A large Air elemental is a very nice mount, but his servants and accoutrements need to be conveyed on a wagon. This is, of course, very tricky to get through swamps etc. which is why he hired the PCs.

[RexDart]

The aristocrat isn't actually going anywhere. If he had someplace to be, he'd pay to be teleported there, obviously. This is a scenic tour. It goes in whatever direction the aristocrat's whims dictate. Even if that's straight through the middle of a swamp that could easily have been gone around.

When he gets bored, the aristocrat arranges to be teleported home. But the small army of servants carrying all his luggage have to walk back. As do the PCs, since the aristocrat's stuff needs to be properly protected. When the PCs finally get back to the palace, the aristocrat claims something is missing from the luggage, and docks the PCs' pay. Actually, it was worth more than the amount the PCs were promised, so the aristocrat expects them to pay him.

An alternative building off the same ideas might be that the aristocrat is a thrill seeker. He's not an adventurer, but he wishes he was, and (pepper with delusion according to taste) might think he is.

He could use the teleport trick, but specifically doesn't, because he wants to experience the thrill of genuine danger with a band of stalwart adventurers at his side, and a great tale to tell when it's done. Depending on his degree of knowledge and recklessness, he could be steering the party into a TPK.

Also, he might enjoy "roughing it," but have a comedically aristocratic view of what roughing it entails.

[Thurbane]

Even through the movie was a bit...meh, the 2011 Conan movie had the baddies travelling around in a ship, carried on the backs of slaves.

I did a similar thing in my own campaign, with a high level Necromancer NPC who rides around in a ship carried on the backs of Ogre Zombies.

[TheCount]

my answer is a levitating carriage pulled by undead horses. the carriage is made either with levitate or tenser's floating disk. horses could be swapped to anything with a climb/fly speed.

i like the inter-dimensional space idea.
the tourist one is just deliciously evil :D

Maybe, make the steed a giant slug (or something), and the PCs need to walk in its slime, or they will dishonor the noble's family's honor, as their wealth came from breeding giant slugs (or somethings)? and the current one is one of the best in its lineage? with extra mucus (or something equally unpleasant) ofc.

...Make the PCs play with his pets? because, of course, he brought his pets too! also, the pets get better food than the PCs. If the PCs have their own food and its relatively good? order them to give their food to the pets, the pets play with it then go and eat their own food (which is made by a master chief, of course!).

Lets see....
Ah! the old tricks! make the noble pick up beautiful/handsome hitchhikers who, obviously, want the noble's purse, and hate the party, but the noble defend them to no end.

They are a great gourmet! because, of course, thier high class upbringing demanded they are burdened with exceptional taste!
...so, they use the PCs as lab rats to taste anything that catches their fancy to see if it is safe. Why, of course no magic or magic items allowed! it would take away from the experience!

[Segev]

The aristocrat of course has a pendant, hat, or clothing of endure elements, and (if this is Pathfinder) a pretty bard or sorceress who knows prestidigitation who is his handmaid/valet. If this is not Pathfinder, then he has a 900 gp ring that casts prestidigitation at will.

He uses this to flavor his food amongst other things.

His bard or sorceress, if he has one, also casts Tenser's floating disk four times or more, enough to place his carriage on the disks. Alternatively, the horses pulling the carriage are saddled with saddles that cast the spell, so the disks follow the horses. Who have horseshoes of the zephyr. The PCs are expected to screen his advance and protect him, of course, so they do not get to ride in the carriage. It floats above the ground, swamp, or whatever while they slog along or through it.

Stealth is impossible. Not only is his traveling entourage gaudy, but he insists on music being played (like modern radio in the car, almost) all the time, and has a small band or string quartet that rides atop the carriage to play for him. The bard, if present, may participate as well. He doesn't have darkvision, either, so the whole of his entourage is very well-lit even at night, and he doesn't always want to stop and camp for the night if he's feeling "adventurous."

He'll promise to cover the party's meals. What he won't tell them is that he has this wonderful hat shaped like a holly bush that is just marvelous fun for camping; it casts goodberry often enough to feed his servants and the PCs each day, but only one berry each as "overeating makes for lazy servants." If called out that they're not his servants, he'll point out that they are welcome to provide their own victuals. He, of course, eats very richly.

[Thurbane]

If his UMD is decent, maybe a Wand or a Minor Shema (MoE) of Leomund's Spacious Carriage (Cityscape p.66). In a Schema, it will be 7 hours per use, so maybe 2 or 3?

And maybe a Minor Schema of Heroes' Feast as well.

Of course, he refuses to share the carriage or the feast with the party. :smallbiggrin:

If his UMD needs some boosting, you could give him a Rod of Mimicry (A&EG p.126), which will give a +10 competence bonus to UMD (among other things).

[Bronk]

If his UMD is decent, maybe a Wand or a Minor Shema (MoE) of Leomund's Spacious Carriage (Cityscape p.66). In a Schema, it will be 7 hours per use, so maybe 2 or 3?

And maybe a Minor Schema of Heroes' Feast as well.

Of course, he refuses to share the carriage or the feast with the party. :smallbiggrin:

If his UMD needs some boosting, you could give him a Rod of Mimicry (A&EG p.126), which will give a +10 competence bonus to UMD (among other things).

I definitely like the idea of the noble snubbing the party. I'd add that he has a magic item able to cast 'Regal Procession' every day, but all the fancy mounts are for his servants and/or pampered pets and/or magic hair dryer.

Also, if the PCs have intelligent mounts, pets, or familiars, make sure that they aren't shy about telling their riders, owners, or masters that they are very envious of how fancy the regal procession mounts are and how sad they are that they aren't as fancy. They may have magic items, but not fancy items!

[Telonius]

Some ideas:

They pass a "Farmer's Market" style fruit stand. "Always happy to support a local farmer!" Buys out the whole stand. Obviously hungry family is right behind him in line.

Kids playing in the road; has security clear them out roughly (for being slightly too slow) and then yells at them for not knowing any better. Bonus points if the PCs are the security.

Traffic jam at an intersection. Security blocks traffic in the other direction so he can pass. Peasants try to avoid visibly giving him the side-eye.

[Afghanistan]

Kids playing in the road; has security clear them out roughly (for being slightly too slow) and then yells at them for not knowing any better. Bonus points if the PCs are the security.

You might be wondering: "But what if the PCs don't WANT to clear out traffic roughly?" well my dear friend! This Local Lord Noble also has several dozen men at arms (all in full harness or your system equivalent) more than equipped and trained through the cold reality of warfare to not only outmatch, but overpower even the most mighty of the peasant class (of which your players are a member of).

But really, I think literally any of the ideas mentioned in the above are acceptable towards making the most unlikable NPC imaginable. Bonus points if the Noble's NPC security detail is of suicidal degrees of loyalty. I'm talking taking readied actions to actively interrupt line of effect with the Noble and possible threats, having an on staff Cleric to heal him of even the most minute damage, and a Wizard from some elite and prestigious college simply dedicated to counterspell most if not all spells directed towards the Noble.

[JyP]

What would be the best way for him to travel in comfort and style?
I thought immediately of a Rajah travelling with the Steam Elephant from Jules Vernes' Steam House (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Steam_House)

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a2/%27The_Steam_House%27_by_L%C3%A9on_Benett_018.jpg

There's even a moving mechanical elephant (https://www.lesmachines-nantes.fr/decouvrir/le-grand-elephant/) for entertainment in Nantes :smallwink:

[Telonius]

... I think we may have accidentally given him the plot to, "And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street."

[Vizzerdrix]

Even through the movie was a bit...meh, the 2011 Conan movie had the baddies travelling around in a ship, carried on the backs of slaves.

I did a similar thing in my own campaign, with a high level Necromancer NPC who rides around in a ship carried on the backs of Ogre Zombies.

Elephants. It was yolked to the back of elephants.

[Thurbane]

Elephants. It was yolked to the back of elephants.

OK, I'm obviously misremembering...

[calam]

If I wanted a insulting rich person traveling device I'd give them a palanquin. To make it more insulting have the palanquin itself be animated or carried by terracotta warrior style golems.

Edit: for added "travel with style" status make each golem have a different servant purpose. Like make one their cook and another shines their boots.