I Really Don't Get These Social Cues At All!

[Bartmanhomer]

Whenever I do something right, I get yell at or people don't tell me anything. I mean the signal was very clear for me which I thought that people can understand that. But they don't tell me anything or they get the wrong idea. At this point, I don't even care anymore. :annoyed:

[Anonymouswizard]

Maybe you got told off because you didn't do the right thing?

Social stuff is hard. And in the case that you're obviously referring to people have spent a lot of words trying to explain where you went wrong in minute detail. Just take s break, have some coffee, and accept that sometimes you don't have to comment on things.

[Bartmanhomer]

Maybe you got told off because you didn't do the right thing?

Social stuff is hard. And in the case that you're referring to people have spent a lot of words trying to explain where you went wrong in minute detail. Just take s break, have some coffee, and accept that sometimes you don't have to comment on things.

Yes, I'm aware of that, Anon. I can give you so many examples such as Last week I have a stupid fight with one of my Facebook friends over the Netflix decision. He made a post that he was going to watch Netflix. I made a comment saying that I don't watch Netflix because of the Cuties controversy. He said they decided to choose and don't watch it. I said that it looks like that you're defending Netflix for selecting that film. He said he wasn't. I said ok I understand and the next thing I know he got upset thinking that I was making assumptions. Which I wasn't. So I told him to calm down after that he deleted his post.

[Anonymouswizard]

Yes, I'm aware of that, Anon. I can give you so many examples such as Last week I have a stupid fight with one of my Facebook friends over the Netflix decision. He made a post that he was going to watch Netflix. I made a comment saying that I don't watch Netflix because of the Cuties controversy. He said they decided to choose and don't watch it. I said that it looks like that you're defending Netflix for selecting that film. He said he wasn't. I said ok I understand and the next thing I know he got upset thinking that I was making assumptions. Which I wasn't. So I told him to calm down after that he deleted his post.

The problem here is that it looks like you're trying to control his behaviour. He has a right to watch Netflix despite the controversy, and that doesn't mean he supports the film, that means he supports whatever he watches on Netflix. You made an assumption that what matters to you matters to eveerybody, Jimbob* obviously is not as invested in said contraversy as you and doesn't see the problem in watching, for example, House of Flying Daggers on Netflix (is that on Netflix? I don't know, I enjoyed the film though, I should check if I still have the DVD).

For the record, I don't have a feeling on the film in question one way or another. I think it would have been better received if it used a more established form of dancing, such as ballet, and that it's intended message is good, but that it (probably, I haven't seen it) falls down in how it delivers it's message.

Netflix has put Cuties on the service, and you've decided to boycott them for that. Netflix also has The Seven Deadly Sins on their service. I like having access to this series, and so I watch it on Netflix.

Am I defending Netflix for uploading the film? No, because I'm not watching the film. Netflix knows what people watch (even if they don't know who watches it), and uses this data to decide what to upload next. Me watching Mock the Week instead of Cuties means that Netflix is more likely to upload things like Mock the Week rather than things like Cuties. This is a weird situation where a blanket boycott of a service might not be effective, and essentially telling people that it looks like they support option A because they are interacting with option B is not nice.

* random name.

[Bartmanhomer]

The problem here is that it looks like you're trying to control his behavior. He has a right to watch Netflix despite the controversy, and that doesn't mean he supports the film, that means he supports whatever he watches on Netflix. You assumed that what matters to you matters to everybody, Jimbob* is not as invested in said controversy as you and doesn't see the problem in watching, for example, House of Flying Daggers on Netflix (is that on Netflix? I don't know, I enjoyed the film though, I should check if I still have the DVD).

For the record, I don't have a feeling about the film in question one way or another. I think it would have been better received if it used a more established form of dancing, such as ballet, and that its intended message is good, but that it (probably, I haven't seen it) falls in how it delivers its message.

Netflix has put Cuties on the service, and you've decided to boycott them for that. Netflix also has The Seven Deadly Sins on their service. I like having access to this series, and so I watch it on Netflix.

Am I defending Netflix for uploading the film? No, because I'm not watching the film. Netflix knows what people watch (even if they don't know who watches it), and uses this data to decide what to upload next. Me watching Mock the Week instead of Cuties means that Netflix is more likely to upload things like Mock the Week rather than things like Cuties. This is a weird situation where a blanket boycott of service might not be effective, and essentially telling people that it looks like they support option A because they are interacting with option B is not nice.

* random name.

All because I commented by criticizing his choices for that. This is exactly what I was talking about. If he wants to watch Netflix, then whatever. I don't care.

[Anonymouswizard]

All because I commented by criticizing his choices for that. This is exactly what I was talking about. If he wants to watch Netflix, then whatever. I don't care.

Then why did you even comment?

[Bartmanhomer]

Then why did you even comment?

Because I just want to express my thoughts on it. I do have a voice and I have every right to speak my mind on it.

[Keltest]

Because I just want to express my thoughts on it. I do have a voice and I have every right to speak my mind on it.

But you just said that you didnt care. Quite obviously you do care, because you had an opinion on it that you felt strongly enough about that you wanted to speak about it. Youre saying contradictory things here.

[Bartmanhomer]

But you just said that you didn't care. Quite obviously you do care because you had an opinion on it that you felt strongly enough about that you wanted to speak about it. You're saying contradictory things here.

Maybe I am but still to the point that I still don't care in my eyes.

[Blackdrop]

Because I just want to express my thoughts on it. I do have a voice and I have every right to speak my mind on it.

But if the opinion has little relevance with the discussion being had, than your friend has every right to be annoyed with you. If he had asked, "What streaming service should I subscribe to?", or, "What do you think guys think of Netflix?", then your opinion on Netflix's business practices would be relevant, but if he simply asked, "What should I watch on Netflix tonight?", sharing that your boycotting Netflix over Cuties isn't relevant to the discussion being sought and can come off being judgmental and/or preachy .

[Bartmanhomer]

But if the opinion has little relevance with the discussion being had, then your friend has every right to be annoyed with you. If he had asked, "What streaming service should I subscribe to?", or, "What do you think guys think of Netflix?", then your opinion on Netflix's business practices would be relevant, but if he simply asked, "What should I watch on Netflix tonight?", sharing that your boycotting Netflix over Cuties isn't relevant to the discussion being sought and can come off being judgmental and/or preachy.

Maybe so but he didn't need to act aggressively on that.

[Keltest]

Maybe so but he didn't need to act aggressively on that.

To borrow your words, he has a voice and every right to speak his mind on it. If youre annoying him, he has the right to tell you as much. Youre his friend, so presumably you dont want to be intentionally annoying him. In light of that, the best thing you could be doing here is listening to him and try to understand why your actions bothered him.

[Bartmanhomer]

To borrow your words, he has a voice and every right to speak his mind on it. If youre annoying him, he has the right to tell you as much. Youre his friend, so presumably you dont want to be intentionally annoying him. In light of that, the best thing you could be doing here is listening to him and try to understand why your actions bothered him.That I agree with you there. I need to.be more considerate to him well definitely everybody.

[KillianHawkeye]

I think one of the best social lessons I ever learned, and one that is particularly relevant to Internet social media, is that you don't always have to comment on everything. Sometimes you need to evaluate if the comment you want to make is really necessary or not, and how it will come across to another reader if you do make it. Some conversations you're better off just not getting involved in.

Believe me, this isn't always easy.

[Bartmanhomer]

I think one of the best social lessons I ever learned, and one that is particularly relevant to Internet social media, is that you don't always have to comment on everything. Sometimes you need to evaluate if the comment you want to make it necessary or not, and how it will come across to another reader if you do make it. Some conversations you're better off just not getting involved in.

Believe me, this isn't always easy.

I know. I have a hard time doing that and I'm a very talkative person. :sigh:

[Mastikator]

I had this problem with my mom, I was standing right next to her and she was yelling at me. I asked her "why are you yelling at me?" and she said "I don't have the words to explain". Well yelling doesn't help. Yelling is not a substitute for using words. We worked it out and got to use our indoors voices.

If someone only has two modes of communication yelling or silence then they suck at communication. And if you tell them "listen, I suck at cues, tell me explicitly with words using your in doors voice" and they still can't just do that then honestly it's on them. It's ridiculous that you should be expected to read their minds while they put in zero effort in their communications.

[Bartmanhomer]

I had this problem with my mom, I was standing right next to her and she was yelling at me. I asked her "why are you yelling at me?" and she said, "I don't have the words to explain". Well, yelling doesn't help. Yelling is not a substitute for using words. We worked it out and got to use our indoor voices.

If someone only has two modes of communication yelling or silence then they suck at communication. And if you tell them "listen, I suck at cues, tell me explicitly with words using your indoors voice" and they still can't just do that then honestly it's on them. It's ridiculous that you should be expected to read their minds while they put in zero effort in their communications.

I know right? Social cues suck. :mad: