Settlement quotes

[Meierme176]

I am building my campaign world and am looking for some good quotes for each settlement. I was wondering if there was a good source I could find them at, or if you guys and gals have any that might be of use.

They are quotes that would help set the mood for different types of settlements. Kind of like how most state license plates have their state quote on them.

The setting is a high magic fantasy world (D&D 3.5).

[Keltest]

Do you have a list of names? It's not at all out of the question for us to just make up a bunch on the spot.

[SwordCoastTaxi]

https://www.brainyquote.com/ has everything you need.

[Meierme176]

Do you have a list of names? It's not at all out of the question for us to just make up a bunch on the spot.

I do, but their names don't really tell you much about them. I would need to come up with a brief overview of each settlement to give you guys and that would be a LOT of reading. I have like 84 settlements I am trying to come up with info about.

[Telok]

Welcome to FooTown...

...please don't feed the atropal.
...all teleportation is redirected to layer 378 of th Abyss.
...adventurers wanted. Apply at Gates of Hel tavern.
...help wanted, see Kevon at the necromancer's tower.
...demons are people too.
...500 gp bounty paid per dead adventurer.
...beware of brain leeches.

Now leaving FooTown...

...please return your brain leech to the well on the way out.
...failure to pay the Breathing Tax will be punished by inevitables.
...please display your Magic Item Tax recipt to safely pass the living Disjunction spells.
...next stop: BooTown, where the clerics always have Cure Disease repared.
...we hope you liked your Mind Rape. Even if you don't remember it.

[Meierme176]

Welcome to FooTown...

...please don't feed the atropal.
...all teleportation is redirected to layer 378 of th Abyss.
...adventurers wanted. Apply at Gates of Hel tavern.
...help wanted, see Kevon at the necromancer's tower.
...demons are people too.
...500 gp bounty paid per dead adventurer.
...beware of brain leeches.

Now leaving FooTown...

...please return your brain leech to the well on the way out.
...failure to pay the Breathing Tax will be punished by inevitables.
...please display your Magic Item Tax recipt to safely pass the living Disjunction spells.
...next stop: BooTown, where the clerics always have Cure Disease repared.
...we hope you liked your Mind Rape. Even if you don't remember it.

Hahaha those are good!

[tomandtish]

Taking a well known one but...

Waterdeep: now with 30% less murder.

[AceOfFools]

A line I wrote about a remote, inhospitable mining town: “No one ends up in <town name> unless they have a reason why they can’t live somewhere better.”

Also good: “<Region> had withstood invasions from three empires, plagues, blights, two different gods bent on their destruction, and a literal army of dragons. What makes you think this will get them to leave?” This one can be tweaked to squeeze in some more appropriate history.

“<City> had been burned down by invaders so many times, they started importing distant stone with which to rebuild—not that it helped.”

“No city is as clean as <place>, unless someone is trying to hide something.”

“The many old monuments are starting to crumble, but the people are too attached to their former glory to quarry them for useful stone, but also too poor to properly restore them.”

[Saintheart]

"Oh, <InsertTown>. Not quite the Abyss, but you can see it from the belltower."

"<InsertTown> is all about gold. The dwarves mine it, the halflings steal it, and the elves make jewellery out of it."

"<InsertTown> can really be summed up in the face of its mayor. He has the look of a man who had a tome describing the the secret of building a perfectly functional cosmopolitan city but then misplaced it after a night of heavy drinking."

"<InsertTown>: mages not welcome. The ones we have are already running the place and don't like young people telling them how to change things."