My gran's poodle Vs a dragon Vs philosophy Vs the grocery store

[Castaras]

these topics are starting to get out of hand, methinks.
next one will be my gran's poodle Vs a dragon Vs philosophy and Vs the grocery store around the corner maybe?

So who/what would win? :smalltongue:
Although yes, I agree, these topics are getting out of hand.

[sun_tzu]

In this kind of fight, it's usually safest to bet on the abstract concept that cannot be killed.

[Emperor Demonking]

Dragon, the dragon will kill everything apart from philosiphy. When everyone is dead philosiphy dies.

[Saithis Bladewing]

The dragon kills everything else and then recreates philosophy, thus dominating it and achieving victory through control, even if it has not destroyed it.

[ocato]

Obviously the winner is Chuck Norris.

If we're going to make ridiculous threads, let's go for broke.

[Saithis Bladewing]

Obviously the winner is Chuck Norris.

If we're going to make ridiculous threads, let's go for broke.

Ah, but when Chuck Norris comes to strike, Bruce Lee appears and knocks him into the waiting tentacles of Cthulu.

Meanwhile, as this devolves into the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny, Mr. Rogers comes out with his bloodstained sword and sweater and finishes everyone else off.

[dehro]

you should know that my gran's poodle is a zombie-poodle.:smallbiggrin: :smallbiggrin:

anyway this is not exactly why I came up with this confrontation...:smallannoyed:

[Castaras]

anyway this is not exactly why I came up with this confrontation...:smallannoyed:

I know! I just couldn't resist! :smalltongue:

And I have to agree with Saithis' assessment of the situation.

Even with a zombie poodle, the dragon would easily roast the zombie. And eat it.

Although it might not eat it. Would probably know that zombies are not good for the stomach, nor are poodles.

[Winterwind]

The dragon burns down the grocery store.

Then some random guy comes around and reminds the dragon that it is, in fact, just a philosophical concept representing the fears of mankind, making it one with philosophy.

So now we have philosophy against the poodle.

Now we need an additional information to decide this: Does the philosophy have an allergy against dog hair? 'Cause if it does, it's screwed! Poodles can be vicious that way!

[Gaelbert]

To continue with Winterwind's idea, I think that the poodle would have damage reduction against philosophy. I'd place my vote on the ppodle.

[Emperor Ing]

Dragon. As deadly as the Grocery Store is, nothing beats fire breath. Philosophy just has no offensive attacks.

[SurlySeraph]

@^: I beg to differ. Deconstruction, proving illogic or non-existence, snideness, and razor-sharp insight are all very effective attacks, at least against anything that cares what you're saying.

[Altair_the_Vexed]

This thread won't count as genuine discussion of the merits of poodles (zombie or otherwise) vs dragons vs philosophy vs grocery stores until it reaches 30 pages of argument.

We need a little more definition of our combatants. "Dragon" is rather vague. It could be an ancient half-red- half-blue- half-green- half-black- half-white- half-bronze- half-silver- half-gold- half-copper- half-celestial- half-infernal- celestial- infernal-dragon lich, for example.
Similarly, which grocery store are we talking about here, by the way..? If it's Walmart or Tesco (the UK Walmart, for our non-UK readers), then I think that dragon is going to be toast (fire resistance notwithstanding).

[Emperor Ing]

Ok then, how about this?

A poodle (dont know any species :smalltongue:, just think "generic poodle") vs a Red Firebreathing Dragon vs Aristotle vs Stop n Shop

[Altair_the_Vexed]

Ok then, how about this?

A poodle (dont know any species :smalltongue:, just think "generic poodle") vs a Red Firebreathing Dragon vs Aristotle vs Stop n Shop

In that scenario, clearly the dragon wins. Start out of range of yapping dog, pontificating Greek, and store security, Fly-by attack, use breath weapon, repeat until all targets are crispy. Simple.

However... the security guards at Stop n Shop might have hunting rifles available to them, and the poodle might be said to have a sonic attack (those yaps get darned annoying)....

Most importantly, how can we possibly say that "philosophy" is embodied solely in Aristotle?

What about DesCartes, who could think all the others out of existence?

[Rowanomicon]

Well it's already clearly been stated that the Poodle is a zombie poodle and, if I am as familiar with zombie poodles belonging to old ladies as I think I am, then dehro's gran's poodle is, in fact, a Gargantuan Fast Zombie Half-Fiend Poodle. Much more dangerous than your average zombie poodle.

Since we are are using the idea of a Dragon in this thread I think it's only fair to make it an avatar of Tiamat: a Great Wyrm with five heads: red, white, black, blue, and green.

The Grocery Store has an advantage of numbers over the Dragon and the Poodle because it has many people working for it. The most elite, and best armed, fighters would obviously be the meat department workers while the managers would wield powers of domination. There are many things in a grocery store that could be turned into weapons if need be. Now, if either the Dragon or the Poodle had a fatal food allergy they'd definitely be in trouble.

Philosophy itself is very hard thing to beat as it cannot be fully destroyed until all thinking things are destroyed. Even then, it might come back. Also it has even The Grocery Store beat in numbers as it has many, many loyal followers. This is even better than employees as Philosophy's followers, for the most part, follow of their own free will.
Philosophy also has many devastating weapons. It may win simply by proving that all the others don't exist.

All in all I don't really think this is a fair fight. Philosophy simply works on a different scale as the other combatant, but anything could happen when you throw a Gargantuan Fast Zombie Half-Fiend poodle into the mix. Also The Grocery Store has the unknown element of high-school students, who seem to be quite capable of doing anything that any fantasy heros can do, but better.

[Winterwind]

What about DesCartes, who could think all the others out of existence?Wait, how does that work - "I think, and therefore you're not"? :smallconfused:

I'm still betting on the poodle, unless...

...oh crap. I just realised philosophy also contains Nietzsche and nihilism. And since Nietzsche can kill Gods, I doubt any of the others stands any chance! :smalleek:

[Timberwolf]

Well, personally I think that One Stop'll take some beating. As soon as the Dragon burnt one down, 5 more would rise to take its place. You can double that rate with Tesco Express. On the other hand, dragons can burninate like nothing else.

I think we can all agree, the poodle is a non starter. Toasted, eaten, dead through sheer incomprehension or it's mind just protectively shut down. Either way it loses.

Philosophy, well, personally I regard most philosophers as being a load of know alls who could benefit from some direct action. Like, say a dragon type of direct action to persuade them to get off their over cogitated backsides and go and do something worthwhile. Perhaps, if they were prepared to transfer their energies into something other than talking, they could be unstoppable. Given the amount of useless philosophy around, they evidently have a great deal of energy. However, since there is money to be made by sitting about talking, I feel that they will happily sit there and talk at the dragon until it gets bored since it knows damn well it exists and the funny little hairless ape who thinks it knows more than it actually does isn't funny any more. And then toasts them.

So that really leaves the ever regenerating corner shop versus the dragon.

Let me see. The corner shop doesn't really have an offense, it's just like an amoeba, constantly regenerating. Wheras the dragon does have an offense, doesn't need a defense but will get tired.

Lets just face it people.

Tesco Express is here to stay.

[Rowanomicon]

"I think, and therefore you're not"? :smallconfused:

Haha, totally siging this.

Also, no one wins (not even Philosophy) because Philosophy makes it impossible for several reasons.

[Seraph]

Obviously the winner is Chuck Norris.

If we're going to make ridiculous threads, let's go for broke.

no, Chuck Norris gets killed when Johnny Cash shoots him with lightning bullets out of his eyes. from the afterlife.

[Setra]

The Dragon wins.

Especially if it's a female dragon.

[Rowanomicon]

Setra, by "I like dragons more than you" do you mean that you like dragons more than I like dragons or that you like dragons more than you like me?

Something funny/random/true/seriously it's true: When I first typed my post I made a typo and quoted you as saying "I link dragons more than you."
I thought it was funny since, well, you link to more pictures of dragons in your sig than anyone else I am aware of.

[Setra]

Setra, by "I like dragons more than you" do you mean that you like dragons more than I like dragons or that you like dragons more than you like me?
Both.

Especially female dragons.

[Emperor Ing]

it's just like an amoeba, constantly regenerating. Wheras the dragon does have an offense, doesn't need a defense but will get tired.



The dragons defense, well, you people seem to be forgetting about the legendary resilience of dragon hide.
Plus, you got the law of the conservation of matter. Amoebas can only regenerate if there is enough expendable matter inside of it to make more of what it needs to regenerate. Whetheras a grocery store, while seemingly undying, is not invincible. (has anyone seen that wal-mart episode of South Park? It explains how to kill these things.)
But still, even if the grocery store can't be killed, the dragon will still burn it down every time until it does. He has all the time in the world.

[rubakhin]

Depends. Is it a toy poodle, or one of those big black freaky things that are associated with Mephistopheles?

Mephistopheles could beat philosophy, and I can't imagine that the dragon or grocery store would be too hard.

[Icewalker]

Pretty sure that the winner would be Firefly.

[Closet_Skeleton]

The Grocery store (or Green Grocers as they say here in the Old Country) is in fact a close cousin of the Gazebo and therefore caperble of defeating lesser monsters such as Dragons and Poodles with ease.

The Green Grocers vs Philosophy? Well, it'll be a long war of attrition, but the Green Grocers is stocked with food so it can hold out longer, while Philosophy is food for thought so it'll get used up quicker. Eventually the philosophers will have to go to the Grocery store and then Philosophy will have to concede.

[purple gelatinous cube o' Doom]

Could someone please tell me what a poodle, a dragon, philosophy and a grocery store have to do with media of any sort.