Corrupt a Wish III: Granted, but it's on Fire!

[Gold Leaf]

Granted, but you spend too long enjoying it and get a sunburn.

I wish for a brand new car.

[Smoutwortel]

Granted, but you spend too long enjoying it and get a sunburn.

I wish for a brand new car.

It's a piece of garbage that requires constant maintenance to keep running, but you still pay full tax for it.

I wish for free time.

[bug_sniper]

You come across a hotel in a bubble of distorted spacetime that slows down the passage if time so that 1 real world second is 30 minutes inside it. You can enter it and stay as long as you want for free, but it's run as a business and the receptionists charge you for everything you do inside it. You have to pay for food, technology, rented furniture, bedding, electricity and internet and phone service and even for the air you breathe inside. Also, there's a resort fee that they'll sneak into your bill unless you demand to have it waived.

I wish for an algorithm that determines the best possible investment for me.

[Bucky]

The algorithm suggests you acquire four tons of various commercial explosives and get the largest life insurance policy available.

I wish for a cure for cancer.

[Gold Leaf]

The algorithm suggests you acquire four tons of various commercial explosives and get the largest life insurance policy available.

I wish for a cure for cancer.

You get a cure for Hyalinizing Clear Cell Carcinoma, the no.1 rarest cancer in the world with only 52 cases.

I wish for faster internet speeds.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. Your internet browser now reads your mind to figure out what you're going to want to do and bring you the site content before you touch the screen or mouse. However, your wish has unlocked mind-reading technology for the world. The thought police now screen people for terrorist intentions and people are routinely arrested for thinking bad things about the president. You're now responsible for your own thoughts in this next-generation dystopia.

I wish every stock market was open 24 hours per day 7 days every week.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. The global economy is now ruined as a result of bad decisions brought on by severe insomnia on the part of the stock traders.

I wish I could learn and use magic.

[Rogan]

I wish I could learn and use magic.

Sure, here you go. It's not very powerful, but extremely taxing for your mind and body. To make things worse, nobody believes you, even if you try to prove that it's real magic.

I wish I could amplify the magic power of Dire Moose.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. You amplify her power by giving up some of your own. You are now in a state of being 15 years older than you were.


Granted. The global economy is now ruined as a result of bad decisions brought on by severe insomnia on the part of the stock traders.

I wish I could find an investment that profits off of the now-ruined economy.

[Bucky]

I'd suggest investing in funeral homes and a coffin manufacturer, soon to be popular among your friends.

I wish for a secure vault for my plentiful lucre.

[Rogan]

I wish for a secure vault for my plentiful lucre.

Granted. It's one of the most secure places in the world. Unfortunately, it costs a fortune to rent, so even using all your belongings, you can only afford it for a weak. On the bright side, after this time you won't need such a secure place anymore.

I wish more people would play mafia games, which can be found in the structured games subsection of the forum. One of them has just started to recruit.

[TwilightSandwic]

Granted, a billion people try and log into the structured games subsection of the forum at the same time and crash the servers.


I wish my dog wouldn't wake me up at strange hours.

[Persolus]

Granted, it will now wake you up at regular hours - i.e. every two hours at regular intervals.

I wish I could always say the right thing to make people feel good.

[Bucky]

Granted, but they'll be furious at you later when they find out you lied.

I wish for a weapon that can slay any foe.

[Rogan]

I wish for a weapon that can slay any foe.

Granted. This rusty spoon is technically capable of slaying every foe. But the amount of force required to do so is beyond most mortals.

I wish I could fix every hardware problem with a single look. (No touch or other action necessary, just looking at this device)

[DisavowedPaladi]

Granted. This rusty spoon is technically capable of slaying every foe. But the amount of force required to do so is beyond most mortals.

I wish I could fix every hardware problem with a single look. (No touch or other action necessary, just looking at this device)

Granted. You render hardware problems sterile instantly. Great for preventing nanites from replicating out of control or something. I can see why you wanted this in order to stay the advance of a potential technological singularity. Thank you.

I wish for something with the sound effect of “Spork”

[somethingrandom]

Granted a floating bat made of a rubber like material that is immune to every attempt you make to harm or contain it appears and starts beating you to death and bouncy nature of the bat this will be a slow and painful death. When it hits you it makes the sound effect “Spork”

I wish DisavowedPaladi had a way of defending himself from the bat I just inflicted upon him

[Rogan]

Granted a floating bat made of a rubber like material that is immune to every attempt you make to harm or contain it appears and starts beating you to death and bouncy nature of the bat this will be a slow and painful death. When it hits you it makes the sound effect “Spork”

I wish DisavowedPaladi had a way of defending himself from the bat I just inflicted upon him

Granted. This way is using you as a living shield to take all the blows.

I wish for free wishes.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. Wishes are now free from your command and obedience and are now free to refuse you what you ask and wish of them.

I wish I knew which sinister entity it is that makes motorcycles louder than cars.

[Gold Leaf]

Granted. You now work for a sleazy company that makes motorcycle engines. The work environment is terrible, anti-union posters litter the walls, and worst of all, the noise is deafening.

I wish for the greatest pillow fort of all time.

[Bucky]

Granted, the pillow fort is thirty miles wide and you're stranded in the middle with no food or water.

I wish I had plot armor.

[somethingrandom]

You are become the main character in a book where the author is obsessed with torturing the main character. Anyone you fall for is guaranteed to die in the most traumatic way possible. Nothing you do ever goes right you life becomes constant heart break and pain but you can never die no matter what you or anyone else does.

I wish I had taken better care of my teeth

[animorte]

Granted. You are renowned with the greatest teeth of the century. You have a multi-million dollar policy only for your teeth. Your smile is plastered on a wall in every city of the world. But nobody believes they're real and your parents were right, your face did get stuck that way.

I wish everybody was just a little more open-minded.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, everyone’s brains explode.

I wish I wasn’t having such a bad day.

[Gold Leaf]

Granted. It is now 11PM, the night right before that bad day.

I wish we could get more people RPing on the Nexus's new forum.

[Rogan]

I wish we could get more people RPing on the Nexus's new forum.

Granted. Unfortunately, the server is not designed to support that many people, so average loading times are 5 minutes, with a total crash every 12 hours.

I wish to reverse the last three wishes.

[Bucky]

Granted. In this exact order, the RP forum is abandoned after the server crash, Dire Moose's bad day is even worse the second time around, and people become incapable of understanding anything they don't already believe in.

I wish I understood astrophysics.

[Caerulea]

Astrophysics works exactly as according to your current understanding! This is very bad for the stability of the solar system.

I wish I wasn't lazy!

[Rogan]

I wish I wasn't lazy!

Granted. You turn into a workaholic and will suffer from burnout in approximately three days.

I wish I had some tasty food.

[Persolus]

I wish I had some tasty food.

Granted: your favourite meal appears in your throat. All of it. At once.

I wish to win a small lottery.

[somethingrandom]

I wish to win a small lottery.

Granted you win a small lottery you had not entered. The authorities immediately begin investigating you for fraud.

I wish it was easier to find a single bedroom flat in the city I live in.

[Rogan]

I wish it was easier to find a single bedroom flat in the city I live in.

Granted. It's very easy to find it, because all the walls are made from glass, so you can see this flat from all directions. Hope you don't mind the publicity.

I wish for an apple tree.

[Caerulea]

Unfortunately it's a Granny Smith apple tree. And were that not bad enough, it barely gives any apples.

I wish for an unlimited supply of tea.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. It’s scalding hot and poured directly into your eyes.

I wish I could teleport to anywhere in the universe, whenever I wanted to.

[animorte]

I wish I could teleport to anywhere in the universe, whenever I wanted to.

Granted. You spend the first few months teleporting to all the places on our planet you want to see. But then teleport out of the atmosphere to have a look at another planet and your gear doesn’t support the environment… oops.

I wish i had enough time to read and write all of the things on my mind.

[Persolus]

Granted. You've been teleported to a pocket universe with a blank notebook, a pen and a bookshelf. Any time you think of a book, it appears in the bookshelf; any time you think of something to write, another page appears in the notebook. You can't go back until the notebook has no blank pages and the bookshelf is empty.

No, the magic that gives you these books can't distinguish between idle thought and actual desire, why do you ask?

I wish to be able to understand any concept after studying it for an hour.

[Rogan]

I wish to be able to understand any concept after studying it for an hour.

Granted. Unfortunately somebody cursed you to always get interrupted after 45 minutes of any activity (including sleeping, sorry about this) and of course studying. If you try to resume your studies after resolving the interruption, you need to start again.

I wish I could see the future and change it.

[animorte]

Granted! You can see exactly 3 days, 49 minutes, and 12 seconds into the future. The still scene is exactly where you're sitting right now and you can change one thing.

I wish to be the owner of the supremely successful and rich NotAmazonTM mentioned in another thread.

[Persolus]

Granted! You are now the owner of NotAmazonTM in the world of said alternate thread - i.e. the "Rolled a 1" thread. Now, everything you (attempt to) do is treated as if it were a critical failure.

I wish to be the best cook in the world.

[Rogan]

I wish to be the best cook in the world.

Granted. Every person who can cook better than you dies. I hope you are good at cooking.

I wish I could drink any amount of alcohol without negative consequences.

[Bucky]

Granted! The alcohol will magically vanish out of your stomach, before your body can absorb any of it.

I wish I could cast Fireball.

[Persolus]

Granted!

You now cannot stop casting Fireball.

I wish I had the knowledge of what wish could be asked here that could not have any reasonable negative consequence attached to it.

[animorte]

Granted. You now know the precise question, but whenever you attempt to type it, speak it, or communicate it in any way, it will always come out as something else amusing that merely contributes to the thread's ongoing purpose. Perhaps you've been stuck this way all along, but I guess we'll never know.

I wish for the next person to burn the first wish ever requested on this particular thread.

[Rogan]

I wish for the next person to burn the first wish ever requested on this particular thread.

Granted, but the fire extinguisher explodes and floods the whole thread with foam.

I wish for a cleaner bot to remove this mess.

[animorte]

I wish for a cleaner bot to remove this mess.
Granted! Each wish (and its result) is very structurally organized out of this thread and they are all spread evenly throughout the entire forum.

I wish that my favorite threads are kindly distributed the least catastrophic results of this event.

[Bucky]

Granted! It turns out all your favorite threads were locked before the mess happened, to remain that way indefinitely, so the bots couldn't disturb them at all.

I wish for a space shuttle.

[Rogan]

I wish for a space shuttle.

Granted. It's the Challenger.

I wish <insert your name here> a great day.

[enq]

Granted. <insert your name here>'s idea of a great day revolves around you becoming terminally hyperflatulent.

I wish I could perform backflips.

[Persolus]

Granted. You can now perform backflips - specifically, a slapstick performance involving lots of pain.

I wish I could write essays well.

[animorte]

I wish I could write essays well.
Granted. You write exceptional essays, ones that could grant you awards and honors provided you ever were able to turn them in on time.

I wish my brownie business was real.

[Gold Leaf]

Granted, but good luck trying to sell anything when your customers are still fictional.

I wish I was better at children's card games.

[mati2002]

While you did succeed in gaining some DNA their indestructible, and immortality are not based on their genes

[Persolus]

Granted, but good luck trying to sell anything when your customers are still fictional.

I wish I was better at children's card games.

Granted, you know precisely how to win a card game so long as a child is playing the game with you! ... however, good luck with finding a kid that wants to play more than one match.

I wish to win the new UPick WW/Mafia

[Rogan]

I wish to win the new UPick WW/Mafia

Granted, but nobody wants to play with you ever again.

I wish for true love.

[animorte]

I wish for true love.
Granted! You discover that you've had a history with that windmill and you will do everything in your power to save that windmill, as your deity is your witness! Or was it a lighthouse?
I repeat, the McKinley Lighthouse has been destroyed.

I wish that somebody would appreciate my reference.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. I'd pay a penny more for your reference.

I wish for robots that are 3 laws-compliant.

[ChrysalisM]

Granted. Those 3 laws are:

1. Robots are to make more of themselves
2. Humans are to be used as slave labor to make more robots
3. Those who resist must be eliminated.

I wish I could draw things, and bring them into reality.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, you gain this power unexpectedly while drawing a nuclear explosion.

I wish I didn’t have severe anxiety all the time.

[animorte]

I wish I didn’t have severe anxiety all the time.
Granted, Hakuna Matata. Now you just don’t worry about anything, ever.

I wish upon that forum star that I one day grow up and marry a prince.

[ziproot]

Granted, but you will die just after you get married.

I wish that you cannot grant any wishes after this one.

[ChrysalisM]

Granted, but you will die just after you get married.

I wish that you cannot grant any wishes after this one.

granted, but now everyone can grant wishes.

I wish i was ambidextrous.

[Rogan]

I wish i was ambidextrous.

Granted, but tomorrow, you will have an accident and both your hands will get crippled.

I wish for a 40 hours day.

[Bucky]

Granted, but they're 18-minute hours.

I wish for a quadcopter photography drone.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, but it doubles as a CIA assassination drone and you keep having problems with telling if it’s set to photograph or kill.

I wish that drone wouldn’t find me.

[Rogan]

I wish that drone wouldn’t find me.

Granted, but it kills everyone you like, trying to lure you out. On the bright side, you will always get some pictures of their last moments...

I wish for an EMP weapon to stop this done once and for all.

[somethingrandom]

The EMP takes out all electrical equipment within 100 miles of the drone including the equipment keeping people alive in hospital.

I wish that there was backup equipment that could be deployed in time

[Bucky]

Granted, the CIA has more than enough spare drones to assassinate them before they die of their existing conditions.

I wish for sunny weather tomorrow.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. The sun is now ten times brighter than before and the earth is a scorched, lifeless wasteland.

I wish people would stop fighting over everything.

[ChrysalisM]

Granted. The sun is now ten times brighter than before and the earth is a scorched, lifeless wasteland.

I wish people would stop fighting over everything.

Granted. For a summary of the situation, look up the song The Sun is Also A Warrior by Leslie Fish.


I wish that the Power Rangers existed.

[bug_sniper]

Granted, but so do their enemy monsters. Their fights tend to be rather destructive and so your homeowner's insurance rates go up.

I wish for an electron microscope.

[ChrysalisM]

Granted, but so do their enemy monsters. Their fights tend to be rather destructive and so your homeowner's insurance rates go up.

I wish for an electron microscope.

Granted! It's a microscope the size of an electron!

I wish I had a better idea for a widh.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, you decide to wish for world peace, which results in everyone dropping dead at once.

All I ask for is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.

[paddyfool]

The wheel’s kick sends you overboard, and you sink into the sea’s face with a grey dawn breaking. Your sad drowning later becomes the subject of a merry yarn by a laughing fellow rover.

I wish for a quiet sleep and a sweet dream.

[ChrysalisM]

The wheel’s kick sends you overboard, and you sink into the sea’s face with a grey dawn breaking. Your sad drowning later becomes the subject of a merry yarn by a laughing fellow rover.

I wish for a quiet sleep and a sweet dream.

Granted, but you never wake up...

I wish I was dirt poor.

[Velaryon]

Granted, you are so dirt poor that there is no dirt whatsoever within 100 miles of you, thus making it impossible for any plants to grow.

I wish pets lived as long as their humans did.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, humans now have shorted lifespans to match pets.

I wish for an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.

[animorte]

I wish for an official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
You get an entire coming-of-age story, including the soap dinner and an eye patch.

I wish to be a hygiene-active pirate.

[Rogan]

I wish to be a hygiene-active pirate.

Granted. You get the irresistible urge to attack clean seamen. When they are dirty or sweating, you remain inactive.

I wish for long, hot showers to become an universal human right, which has to be provided for free.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. Friend computer gives you the right to long showers with scalding hot water to properly sterilize your exterior. But if you turn down the temperature by 1 degree, you won't be sufficiently sterilized and so the temperature dial is blue and if you touch it, you'll be terminated for treason.

I wish for my security clearance level to be upgraded.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. Your security clearance now allows you to access SCP-682’s containment unit, and you are responsible for cleaning it every day while SCP-682 is asleep in the corner. Try not to make too much noise?

I wish I could just magically make everything ready for Christmas and do all the daily cleaning without having to put in so much time and effort.

[animorte]

I wish I could just magically make everything ready for Christmas and do all the daily cleaning without having to put in so much time and effort.
Granted! Santa takes over all the gifting and meal arrangements, but the Grinch swoops in and cleans everything up, literally takes everything.

I wish I could adjust the temperature to whatever I desire everywhere I go.

[Hof]

Granted, but anytime you do so every father in a 10 mile radius knows you dared adjust the temperature - and also your exact location.

I wish whatever position I assume when I go to sleep is 100% comfortable

[Bucky]

Granted! You eventually die in a perfectly comfortable house fire.

I wish for a quartet of robotic servants.

[Rogan]

I wish for a quartet of robotic servants.

Granted. I hope you don't mind needing to service them each day, changing oil, charging batteries and so on.

I wish for unlimited energy.

[Dire Moose]

You get it. Right in the face.

I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

[Rogan]

You get it. Right in the face.
https://tenor.com/view/unlimited-power-star-wars-gif-10270127.gif

I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

[Velaryon]

You get it. Right in the face.

I wish for 40 acres and a mule.

Granted! You have 40 acres of land and a mule... on the moon.

I wish Dire Moose's mule could survive being on the moon.

[Gravitron5000]

Dire Moose has no way to get to the moon, and the mule is ever so lonely :'(

I wish for the moon to come to Dire Moose. How could this possibly go wrong?

[Caedorus]

Dire Moose has no way to get to the moon, and the mule is ever so lonely :'(

I wish for the moon to come to Dire Moose. How could this possibly go wrong?
Clearly, you wish to destroy Dire Moose. However, they manage to gain the moon - meaning that all the resources there are theirs to sell. They are now stupidly rich.
I wish to rob them successfully.

[Dire Moose]

You successfully rob an actual dire moose. You gain one dire moose antler and one enraged dire moose.

I wish to build my 40 acres of moon land into a proper supervillain lair.

[Bucky]

"This is a nice lair we're taking over!" "Yes, it certainly is!"

Oh my, it looks like the lair is now occupied by actual villains.


I wish for a space station.

[Gravitron5000]

Hello, you're listening to Clack FM 93.2, smooth sounds of the space bar.

I wish to be chillin' with those moon villains.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Hello, you're listening to Clack FM 93.2, smooth sounds of the space bar.

I wish to be chillin' with those moon villains.

You are indeed chilling. Mainly because your moon base is located on the dark side of the moon, and currently lacks any form of heating. Perhaps you should consider a better pay for your engineering crew.

I wish to escape this potentially doomed moon base before the inevitable betrayals and struggles over dwindling resources.

[Smoutwortel]

You are indeed chilling. Mainly because your moon base is located on the dark side of the moon, and currently lacks any form of heating. Perhaps you should consider a better pay for your engineering crew.

I wish to escape this potentially doomed moon base before the inevitable betrayals and struggles over dwindling resources.

You're now outside of the base, no you are not in a place with an atmosphere, no you don't have space suit.
you now have 15seconds of decompression before you die.

I wish to be in a situation with condition that can be survived for at least a month.

[Bucky]

Granted, the hospital doing its best to keep you alive, and there's a slim but very real chance that the next round of chemotherapy will lead to a full recovery. Minus the amputated leg, of course.

I wish for a fine painting to hang on my bedroom wall.

[Oerkali]

Granted, the hospital doing its best to keep you alive, and there's a slim but very real chance that the next round of chemotherapy will lead to a full recovery. Minus the amputated leg, of course.

I wish for a fine painting to hang on my bedroom wall.

Granted. And as an added bonus, you now get to enjoy being Dorian Gray.

I wish for the ability to always know what cards are in a pack before I buy and open it.

[wrathcough]

Granted. And as an added bonus, you now get to enjoy being Dorian Gray.

I wish for the ability to always know what cards are in a pack before I buy and open it.

Granted -- every single card pack you ever buy consists solely of the 1991 Marc Jackson basketball card with the Menendez brothers in the background. Not a lot of variety anymore, but you'll always know.

I wish to eat as much pizza as I want without gaining weight.

[Gravitron5000]

Granted. You no longer want to eat pizza.

I wish for a backyard pizza oven.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Granted. You no longer want to eat pizza.

I wish for a backyard pizza oven.
Granted. You mean a regular pizza oven deposited unceremoniously in your backyard right? I hope you have a forklift or something to move it inside. You’ll have to hook up a chimney and a gas line but I guess you are being reasonable by not having a wish granting entity mess with your house or your utilities directly. I gave you one of the big brick ones they use in restaurants which might be hard to move, but if you wanted a normal oven, I don’t think you’d have specified pizza.

I wish to have my armor back so I can board the supervillain inhabited space station I am now directly outside.

[Rogan]

I wish to have my armor back so I can board the supervillain inhabited space station I am now directly outside.

Granted. However, it's not in its best shape and repairs would cost a fortune and take at least 3 months. Good luck surviving this long!

I wish to travel back in time for 6 months, while keeping my memories and relative position to earth.

[MPHJack7]

I wish to travel back in time for 6 months, while keeping my memories and relative position to earth.

Granted! You've travelled six months back in time, to September 2022. You are in your current position relative to the earth; in fact, you're frozen there. You will have to stand there, utterly immobile, and fully aware of your surroundings. For sixth months time, till it's March 2023 again. You can't do anything. You just sit still, fully aware, for six whole months.


~

I wish I could consistently remain mentally focused on whatever it is I want to remain mentally focused on at the moment, for as much time as I need to be for that specific task and nothing more or less. It'll help with schoolwork.

[Oerkali]

Granted! You've travelled six months back in time, to September 2022. You are in your current position relative to the earth; in fact, you're frozen there. You will have to stand there, utterly immobile, and fully aware of your surroundings. For sixth months time, till it's March 2023 again. You can't do anything. You just sit still, fully aware, for six whole months.


~

I wish I could consistently remain mentally focused on whatever it is I want to remain mentally focused on at the moment, for as much time as I need to be for that specific task and nothing more or less. It'll help with schoolwork.

Granted. Your focus increases to the point where you ignore your own bodily needs and surroundings while you work on the task. Your stomach growls for food and your throat is parched, but your mind ignores them. All that remains, all that matters, is your schoolwork. But it's never finished - there's always something to double-check, something to edit, something to improve. The work never ends, and so your focus never ends.

Wow, that got dark.

I wish for a nice BLT sandwich, made with proper, fresh ingredients and with nothing unexpected or unwanted added to it.

[bug_sniper]

They are made with Bulgarians, Lebanese, and Turks. Specifically, you have a manwich with fresh, properly sliced meat coming from their wanted criminals. You get a sense of deja vu and feel as though this was to be expected as though you've wished for this several times already so when it falls onto your plate, it's not unexpected.

I wish for this town to be not deserted but desserted.

[Rogan]

I wish for this town to be not deserted but desserted.

Granted! (https://youtu.be/BW0bbGZLxZE?t=252)

I wish for this wish to be corrupted.

[ziproot]

Granted!

EDIT: I was going to give you a txt file containing your wish, but I'm afraid it's corrupted.

I wish for you to say "granted."

[bug_sniper]

Ok, but I will only quote the word "granted" in your corruption, and I'm not starting it off with that word.

I wish for a licorice rope that is 1km long.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, but you have to poop it out.


I wish for a fully functional lightsaber.

[Starlit Dragon]

Granted, but you have to poop it out.


I wish for a fully functional lightsaber.

Granted! Here's a fully functional lightsaber, belonging to Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler. Her connection to the Dark Side is strong enough that she always knows where it is. Good luck!

I wish that MutantDragon would have a chance against Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler.

[World Illusion]

Granted! Here's a fully functional lightsaber, belonging to Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler. Her connection to the Dark Side is strong enough that she always knows where it is. Good luck!

I wish that MutantDragon would have a chance against Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler.

Granted! they now have a 50/50 shot at defeating Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler at hockey!

I wish i had a refreshing beverage.

[MutantDragon]

Granted! they now have a 50/50 shot at defeating Darth Harsine the Force-Disemboweler at hockey!

I wish i had a refreshing beverage.

Granted! You now have a beverage that refreshes everyone else's embarrassing memories of you!

I wish I had the powers of Spider-Man.

[bug_sniper]

Granted but everyone has figured out your weakness to ethyl chloride and the villians have made an effort to stockpile large quantities of it.

I wish there were space fish swimming around in interstellar space.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, your starship gets eaten by a giant interstellar shark.

I roll to fly a plane.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, your starship gets eaten by a giant interstellar shark.

I roll to fly a plane.

Granted! You roll the plane into a skyscraper and are labeled posthumously as a terrorist.

I wish I had a completely normal can of completely normal Sprite.

[enq]

I wish I had a completely normal can of completely normal Sprite.
Granted, but you have to pay the bill for the needlessly rigorous scientific work that someone felt was required to establish that the can and its contents were completely normal.

I wish I could survive without water.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, but you have to pay the bill for the needlessly rigorous scientific work that someone felt was required to establish that the can and its contents were completely normal.

I wish I could survive without water.

Granted! You now require hydration in the form of human blood!


I wish for a free car.

[Bucky]

Granted, but it won't obey you, or anyone else, when you try to drive it.

I wish I could cast Feather Fall at will.

[Rogan]

I wish I could cast Feather Fall at will.

Granted. Your friend William allows you to use his tools to cast the sculpture "Feather Fall".

I wish I could change the size of every part of my body.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, but you don’t know exactly how to control it, so you accidentally tear yourself into bloody chunks due to making some parts bigger and others smaller.

I wish I owned a private jet.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Are you sure? I mean, it's just gonna crash. You know it's just gonna crash, right? Alright. Granted! *CRASH*

I wish for an original story idea!

[Starlit Dragon]

Are you sure? I mean, it's just gonna crash. You know it's just gonna crash, right? Alright. Granted! *CRASH*

I wish for an original story idea!
This one is original! However, it's deeply distasteful. Bordering on repulsive, really. Still, definitely fresh and exciting.

I wish for an original and good story idea.

[MutantDragon]

This one is original! However, it's deeply distasteful. Bordering on repulsive, really. Still, definitely fresh and exciting.

I wish for an original and good story idea.

Granted! You happen upon a story idea of such sublime originality and quality that your mind cannot withstand the strain of its sheer awesomeness. You are now quite mad.

I wish for $3.50.

[ziproot]

Granted! You happen upon a story idea of such sublime originality and quality that your mind cannot withstand the strain of its sheer awesomeness. You are now quite mad.

I wish for $3.50.

Granted. I've also adjusted it for inflation, backwards.

I wish to learn if the universe experienced a period of inflation (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inflation_(cosmology)).

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Okay! I've successfully filtered out all the articles about economic inflation. The bad news is that I forgot to forgot to turn on safe search, so your godlike knowledge of cosmic inflation is going to be mixed with, um... a third thing.

-

I wish for the ability to take away wishes.

[Rogan]

I wish for the ability to take away wishes.

Granted. You can take away wishes by killing the entity who grants them. Your chances of success are very low.

I wish for a comfy chair.

[enq]

Granted. It's so comfy you cannot be persuaded to leave it for any reason, and if made to do so by force, you will sit in it again at first opportunity.

I wish that I could touch fire without pain or harm.

[MutantDragon]

Granted. It's so comfy you cannot be persuaded to leave it for any reason, and if made to do so by force, you will sit in it again at first opportunity.

I wish that I could touch fire without pain or harm.

Granted! You are now a living flame...until the isolated bush you're on burns out, anyway.


I wish I could see trough solid objects.

[Bucky]

Granted, but it replaces your ability to see through air.

I wish I could beat Super Mario 64 without ever pressing the A button.

[bug_sniper]

Granted, but instead you have to use the numpad on a controller that comes with a numpad.

I wish I could use the mouse and keyboard for every game, even the console-only games.

[animorte]

Granted, and you can play them all through a simulator on your phone! Only your phone.

I wish I had a controller that I can use for any electronic device.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, but it’s terribly designed, can only be held in a way that causes major nerve damage to your hands, and the controls are constantly malfunctioning and making you do the complete opposite of what you’re trying to do in the games you play with it.

I wish for my own swimming pool.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, but it’s terribly designed, can only be held in a way that causes major nerve damage to your hands, and the controls are constantly malfunctioning and making you do the complete opposite of what you’re trying to do in the games you play with it.

I wish for my own swimming pool.

Granted! It is, in fact, swimming away as we speak...

I wish for a graphing calculator.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Granted! It is, in fact, swimming away as we speak...

I wish for a graphing calculator.

I would give you a calculator made of Graphene but it's not the place for that. Instead you will receive a calculator with an arm capable of holding a pen and drawing graphs. If you have an adequate supply of paper, it may well outperform a traditional graphing calculator.

I wish to be on the nearest solid ground with breathable atmosphere (Last I was seen, I was stranded in space with faulty armor near the moon.)

[Dire Moose]

Granted, you are beamed down to an extremely dangerous jungle region on a planet known for its swarms of vicious, flesh-eating bugs that devour people within seconds. And you are wearing the red uniform of a 23rd century Starfleet security officer. I think we all know what happens next.

I wish we’d stop losing so many redshirts.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. The redshirts realize their odds and start demanding their commanding officers to perform a few high-risk interactions. The death of a few senior lieutenants reduces starfleet readiness and makes them lose the Federation-Klingon war, turning humanity into a subordinate heavily taxed state.

I wish I could sit out this conflict by living on a habitable planet in Andromeda with armor thick enough to protect from flesh-eating bugs.

[Rogan]

I wish I could sit out this conflict by living on a habitable planet in Andromeda with armor thick enough to protect from flesh-eating bugs.

Granted. I hope you don't mind that you have to take off your armor for things like eating, drinking and other necessary body functions. I'm sure the bugs will be polite enough to only attack when you wear it...

I wish for the Romulan Empire to attack the Klingons, so Humanity has a chance to revolt.

[DisavowedPaladi]

Granted. I hope you don't mind that you have to take off your armor for things like eating, drinking and other necessary body functions. I'm sure the bugs will be polite enough to only attack when you wear it...

I wish for the Romulan Empire to attack the Klingons, so Humanity has a chance to revolt.

Honestly, a galactic scale war feels like enough of a side effect to me. However, because of my contractual obligation, you will also be the martyred figurehead of the revolution. You won't live to see it, but the strongholds of oppression will burn in your name. Viva la Revolution.

I wish to combine my efforts with bug_sniper to survive this planet we are both stranded on. (I haven't died yet because they didn't take my swords)
PS: Is bug_sniper someone who is a bug who also has a gun, or are they really good at shooting bugs. If the latter, that seems very helpful in our present circumstances.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Together you survive. Though no rescue ever comes, you nonetheless carve out a niche in the alien world and make yourselves at home, until one day decades later you die in each others' arms. Does that even count as corrupting the wish? Perhaps not. It's bittersweet, is all.

I wish for reunification between the Romulans, Vulcans, AND Remans.

[MutantDragon]

Together you survive. Though no rescue ever comes, you nonetheless carve out a niche in the alien world and make yourselves at home, until one day decades later you die in each others' arms. Does that even count as corrupting the wish? Perhaps not. It's bittersweet, is all.

I wish for reunification between the Romulans, Vulcans, AND Remans.

Granted! They reunify to exterminate all inferior species, including, of course, humans.

I wish the Federation would be promptly reestablished with a fighting chance against the Roman/Vulcan/Reman alliance.

[Rogan]

I wish the Federation would be promptly reestablished with a fighting chance against the Roman/Vulcan/Reman alliance.

Granted, and you are the captain of the flagship, which is always at the most dangerous position of each and every battle. Good luck!

I wish for some advanced shield technology to improve the survivability of the flagship.

[animorte]

I wish for some advanced shield technology to improve the survivability of the flagship.
Granted. All power to the shields, which are now completely indestructible. Unfortunately this also removes the gravity field and oxygen supply.

[bug_sniper]

I wish Rogan's ship had additional power so that it could have sufficient quantities of oxygen, gravity, and whatever animorte forgot to wish for.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, but the additional power is too much for the isomagnetic dekyon compensator to handle, so it blows out half the plasma relays on the ship, completely overloads the gravimetric field displacement manifold and depolarizes the phase inducers.

I wish I could understand what that even means.

[Rogan]

I wish I could understand what that even means.

Granted. From now on, you will understand any high tech (and pseudo-high tech) explanations and will be able to act on this understanding. However, you will misunderstand every normal human interaction in the worst way possible.

I wish I had a better time management.

[enq]

Granted. You will now spend several hours formulating your wishes, so that you don't end up with another one that makes you spend several hours formulating wishes.

I wish pigs could fly.

[somethingrandom]

Grafted
Pigs can now fly but only at speeds exceeding mach 8 and with minimal control, the results are both horrific and messy, this makes keeping pigs both exceptionally difficult and dangerous causes pork princes to skyrocket and introduces a new hazard to air travel. It doesn't take people long to come up with a new expression for how preposterous something is.

I wish current events were not interesting times. (in the sense of the curse may you live in interesting times

[ziproot]

Grafted
Pigs can now fly but only at speeds exceeding mach 8 and with minimal control, the results are both horrific and messy, this makes keeping pigs both exceptionally difficult and dangerous causes pork princes to skyrocket and introduces a new hazard to air travel. It doesn't take people long to come up with a new expression for how preposterous something is.

I wish current events were not interesting times. (in the sense of the curse may you live in interesting times

Granted, the universe is now at thermal equilibrium. Nothing can happen anymore, including life, which is definitely not interesting.

I wish to be transported to a parallel universe that is like what this universe was before the most recent wish was granted.

[Rogan]

I wish to be transported to a parallel universe that is like what this universe was before the most recent wish was granted.

Granted. You land in a parallel universe which is exactly like the one you were in before, only time shifted by 5 minutes. Good luck preventing the wish from being made, so you don't get stuck in an infinite loop.

I wish to escape to a universe where everything is the same or better than the 'original universe', but where wishes are fulfilled in the most helpful way possible instead of being corrupted.

[Olive_Sophia]

I wish to escape to a universe where everything is the same or better than the 'original universe', but where wishes are fulfilled in the most helpful way possible instead of being corrupted.

Granted, but you already used up your one wish.

I wish I could recover lost texts from ancient times, translated perfectly into modern english.

[Bucky]

Granted, but they don't come with the context that would make them significant. Not even the identity of their original languages.

I wish to ascend to a higher plane of existence.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, you ascend to the heavens. Because you’re dead.

I wish Bucky left me everything in his will.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Congratulations! You've inherited the entire universe! Now if only anyone recognized it as legally binding or pertaining to things Bucky didn't actually own.

I wish I didn't get a tummy ache from eating too close to bedtime.

[MutantDragon]

Congratulations! You've inherited the entire universe! Now if only anyone recognized it as legally binding or pertaining to things Bucky didn't actually own.

I wish I didn't get a tummy ache from eating too close to bedtime.

Granted! You can no longer ingest food, so you'll never have to worry about that again. See you in about five days.

I wish I could sleep at will.

[bug_sniper]

You gain the ability to sleep at will and it's actually a common ability. A faction of thieves has learned to find people who use this ability and pickpocket and burglarize them while they are sleeping. if you set any alarms, they will wake you up every time you try to sleep at will.

I wish that upgrading my ram was as simple as downloading more ram.

[Dire Moose]

Granted, you can now download upgrades for your ram. Do you want to make it run faster, give it bigger horns, or make it grow wool more quickly?

I wish I could breathe underwater just as easily as I currently can in air.

[MutantDragon]

Granted, you can now download upgrades for your ram. Do you want to make it run faster, give it bigger horns, or make it grow wool more quickly?

I wish I could breathe underwater just as easily as I currently can in air.

Granted! Good luck breathing anything else...


I wish I could download information directly to my brain.

[bug_sniper]

Granted, but the only information you can download is heartless rich-person propaganda and 1984 style propaganda telling you to fight in an ineffectual war.

I wish for a room temperature superconductor and a working room temperature fusion reactor.

[Bucky]

Granted! This lump of pure aluminum is currently at room temperature, but it'll superconduct if you cool it down to 1 kelvin. And the fusion reactor uses a compact particle accelerator to bombard such an aluminum target with deuterium, producing traces of silicon; too bad it's so energy intensive to operate.

I wish for a black box with a plug that can power such a fusion reactor forever.

[Starlit Dragon]

So, funny thing. Something about the world's metaphysics mean that the only things that can produce that much power are sapient and have free will. This black box is capable of powering the fusion reactor forever, but it feels immense agony every second it does. So it won't.

I wish for the dragons to come back. (I don't mind if they kill people. They're allowed.)

[MutantDragon]

Granted! They come back, take one look at you, vomit, and collectively decide to go extinct.


I wish for a paper bag.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. You are stuffed into it and it is on fire.

I wish for a friendly talking dinosaur.

[politesociety]

Granted! You have a friendly talking Dinosaur chicken nugget. It can't move, and once the nugget goes bad it will die. Otherwise enjoy your new friend.

I wish for Q.

[Rogan]

I wish for Q.

Granted. You get a very large Q on your keyboard, it's so big it replaces w a and s.

I wish for an alarm clock which will wake me up at a time of my choosing, feeling well rested.

[Bucky]

Granted. But the well-restedness is transient and you'll fall asleep again in a few minutes. Pro tip, you really want to be sitting down for that.

I wish to become dictator.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. Your dictatorial rule is so unpopular that your people rebel, overthrow you, and publicly execute you.

I wish I could instantly teleport anywhere in the world at will.

[politesociety]

By the filing of your drive, you get to teleport but inflicted by unending hunger.


I believe in computer young.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. Computers are now just a dream of young artillerymen who believe that someday in their lifetime, technology will evolve to make their calculations faster and more precise.

I wish I could get a raise at work.

[Bucky]

Granted, your cubicle has been moved onto the roof.

I wish it would rain enough to end this drought, but not so rapidly as to cause flash floods.

[Dr.Gunsforhands]

Oh, fine. I'll just have to settle for an extra-long regular flood instead.

I wish I could be in two places at once.

[Dire Moose]

Granted. You are chopped in half.

I wish the train simulator game I was trying to play earlier wasn’t constantly malfunctioning.

[ChrysalisM]

Granted. You are chopped in half.

I wish the train simulator game I was trying to play earlier wasn’t constantly malfunctioning.

Granted. Now your computer is constantly malfunctioning.

I wish that there was a official pokemon splatbook for 5e.

[MutantDragon]

Granted. Now your computer is constantly malfunctioning.

I wish that there was a official pokemon splatbook for 5e.

Granted! Official does not necessarily mean good. Take 2d6 psychic damage.


I wish for a bicycle.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. You get an engine with a 2-phase cycle. It can only intake and exhaust fuel and it doesn't have a compress phase or a power phase and so it's not a functional engine.

I wish that bullets would turn completely into cotton candy as soon as they leave a gun.

[Edreyn]

Granted.
Now when the Earth is invaded by aliens who use only teeth, claws and great numbers, the humanity is defenseless against them.

I wish a full scale sequel of good quality of Planescape: Torment will be released this year.

[MutantDragon]

Granted.
Now when the Earth is invaded by aliens who use only teeth, claws and great numbers, the humanity is defenseless against them.

I wish a full scale sequel of good quality of Planescape: Torment will be released this year.

Granted! Unfortunately, it's scheduled to release the same day as the Antichrist's first day at work, which is the same day as Loki leading the giants against Asgard, which, coincidentally, is the same day as seven suns appear in the sky.

Edit: (Shoot, I forgot a wish. I wish I made a wish.)

[Dire Moose]

I wish to become a Goddess.

[Edreyn]

Granted. You are now a goddess. But in this world, deity's powers and very existence depend on the number of worshippers. You have just one, though very devoted, but he is going to die from old age in 3... 2... 1...

I wish to write a book so successful and popular that people will be still reading it even after hundreads of years from now.

[thegreatqwerty]

Wish Granted. Your book is a Big Brother book from 1984.
I wish that my wish isn't granted.

[bug_sniper]

You're implicit wish to trap the genie in a paradox isn't granted. The genie is really smug at how he doesn't need to grant anything extra at all to bring you the outcome that you've wasted a wish, as well as an abundance of :smalltongue:.

I wish I could worship Dire Moose so that she can continue to exist.

[Killerkat]

Granted, but now she has icky powers over bugs.

I wish for a fish delish.

[farothel]

I wish for a fish delish.

Granted, but it´s fugu prepared by a beginner chef.

I wish to have my own millennium falcon

[paddyfool]

You get the putrefied corpse of a bird of prey that died 23 years and 343 days ago.

I wish for my very own star destroyer

[Dire Moose]

Granted, but you can’t do anything with it as it requires thousands of people to operate and maintain it, and you don’t have that kind of money so all you’ve got it a rather useless hunk of metal that eventually falls out of orbit and crashes.

I wish I wasn’t suffering from anxiety attacks.

[Bucky]

Granted, your depression is now so intense that even anxiety no longer registers.

I wish for a pet puppy.

[bug_sniper]

Granted, but it comes with a flea circus and the fleas aren't very good at juggling and tying balloons.

I wish for bug-hunting drones.

[Ironsmith]

Okay. They're gonna take a while to optimize your code, though.

I wish for some cozy beachfront property.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. It's humid and warm, which makes it very cozy if you're an insect.

I wish for ant-hunting drones, cricket-hunting drones, termite-hunting drones, and bedbug-hunting drones.

[Rollin]

The genie also long-presses when copying your wish, resulting in its being granted five times over. This does not benefit you in the least.

I wish I had a tablet.

[Dire Moose]

You get a large stone tablet air-dropped on your head.

I wish I had a warp-capable starship.

[Rollin]

You get a large stone tablet air-dropped on your head.

I wish I had a warp-capable starship.

You get a starship capable of warping any navigational instruction given it.

I wish I had an ambassadorship.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You get a starship capable of warping any navigational instruction given it.

I wish I had an ambassadorship.

You get an ambassadorship, but it goes so slow it's useless.

I wish I had a group to play 3.5e or PF2e with.

[Aedes]

You get an ambassadorship, but it goes so slow it's useless.

I wish I had a group to play 3.5e or PF2e with.

You find a group, but they're all dysfunctional edgelords who wreck the campaign and steal your dice.

I wish I had more time in the day to do stuff.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You find a group, but they're all dysfunctional edgelords who wreck the campaign and steal your dice.

I wish I had more time in the day to do stuff.

Wish granted! However, it's barely enough to notice.

I wish that my family would play TTRPGs with me.

[Lacco]

[Insert family member] enters the room with a cheerful: "Hey, [TheHalfAasimar]! You play RPGs, right? We agreed to play - and guess what? It's F.A.T.A.L time!"

I wish for an RPG system that has the combat system of Riddle of Steel, the magic system of Ars Magica and the worldbuilding on level of Hârn, while remaining perfectly playable!

[Mister Tom]

Granted. No-one else wants to play it though: anyone you talk to about the subject decides you're a weird obsessive.

I wish to be accepted into a fun RpG group. (Ruh roh)

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted. No-one else wants to play it though: anyone you talk to about the subject decides you're a weird obsessive.

I wish to be accepted into a fun RpG group. (Ruh roh)

Granted. It's just me, you, and someone else neither of us know.

I wish that I had 3.5e D&D stuff.

[Naysmith]

Granted. It's just me, you, and someone else neither of us know.

I wish that I had 3.5e D&D stuff.

Granted, but someone shredded it first.

I wish for the worst possible wish.

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted, but someone shredded it first.

I wish for the worst possible wish.

Wish granted! You then realize that, yes, things could be worse.

I wish that I had inspiration to write.

[Smoutwortel]

Wish granted! You then realize that, yes, things could be worse.

I wish that I had inspiration to write.

You get schizophrenia and start seeing the most exceptional and horrible hallucinations to the point that you have to write about it or go mad.

I ask for unlimited power.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You get schizophrenia and start seeing the most exceptional and horrible hallucinations to the point that you have to write about it or go mad.

I ask for unlimited power.


Wish granted! You become a god-like being, but because no one knows who you are, or worships you, you are rendered powerless from lack of belief.

I wish that I was a better poet.

[Smoutwortel]

Wish granted! You become a god-like being, but because no one knows who you are, or worships you, you are rendered powerless from lack of belief.

I wish that I was a better poet.

You become even worse at poetry. You were a better poet(before this wish)

I wish for the world to burn.

[TheHalfAasimar]

You become even worse at poetry. You were a better poet(before this wish)

I wish for the world to burn.

Wish granted! The fire does nothing but mildly annoy you.

I wish to be not so oblivious to everything.

[bug_sniper]

Granted but everything that's supposed to entertain you through a suspenseful story is now boring. Movies, books, and games now put you to sleep because you're not oblivious to the ending. It's like you automatically see a complete set of spoilers before you watch or play them.

I wish DMV appointments weren't so boring.

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted but everything that's supposed to entertain you through a suspenseful story is now boring. Movies, books, and games now put you to sleep because you're not oblivious to the ending. It's like you automatically see a complete set of spoilers before you watch or play them.

I wish DMV appointments weren't so boring.

Wish grantend! However, at the next DMV appointment you go to, your car explodes, making it certainly not boring but definitely not desirable.

I wish for a fish.

[bug_sniper]

Granted but it's a great white shark and it will have plenty of water and places to hide and search for little fish in. As in, your house becomes part of its enclosure and is now entirely underwater.

I wish jury duty wasn't so boring. (busses and trains are free for this so I'll take them)

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted but it's a great white shark and it will have plenty of water and places to high and search for little fish in. As in, your house becomes part of its enclosure and is now entirely underwater.

I wish jury duty wasn't so boring. (busses and trains are free for this so I'll take them)

Wish granted. It's not as boring as it was, but it's still pretty dang boring. I wish that was semi-decent at spriting.

[bug_sniper]

Granted but only when your animation involves cans of Sprite.

I wish the mods would remove the flood of spam posts

[LavenderT]

Wish granted, but instead of removing the bogus pharmaceutical posts, they are only able to remove posts that mention Spam, the processed meat product.

I wish for good grades.

[bug_sniper]

Granted. The city sends out its excavators and pavers and makes the roads less steep.

I wish to thank the mods for cleaning up the forum.

As for my real wish...

I wish I could read book at a rate of 1 second per page and fully comprehend them.

[Rollin]

Granted. The city sends out its excavators and pavers and makes the roads less steep.

I wish to thank the mods for cleaning up the forum.

For a brief moment, you are all of us forum users at once, and speak our thoughts.


As for my real wish...

I wish I could read book at a rate of 1 second per page and fully comprehend them.

All books are now written by YouTubers who judge it necessary to spend more time on cheap rhetorical devices to retain the audience's attention than on saying anything of substance, and contain one idea per page, if you're lucky.

I wish I had time to make this post shorter.

[TheHalfAasimar]

For a brief moment, you are all of us forum users at once, and speak our thoughts.



All books are now written by YouTubers who judge it necessary to spend more time on cheap rhetorical devices to retain the audience's attention than on saying anything of substance, and contain one idea per page, if you're lucky.

I wish I had time to make this post shorter.

Wish granted! However, as the time begins, you immediately start wondering what you should cut, and you start falling, falling into the endless abyss of insanity as you struggle to choose what to remove and what to keep...

I wish I could afford to buy Pokemon Scarlet.

[Mister Tom]

I wish I could afford to buy Pokemon Scarlet.

Granted. I had to pawn your gaming console to raise the cash though.

I wish I had the ability to break any encryption.

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted. I had to pawn your gaming console to raise the cash though.

I wish I had the ability to break any encryption.

Wish granted! Now, instead of using encryption, they lock information up in safes, making your skill useless.

I wish that the world made a bit more sense.

[oneshotTPK]

Wish granted! Now, instead of using encryption, they lock information up in safes, making your skill useless.

I wish that the world made a bit more sense.

Granted! The world makes a bit more sense. Every hidden motive, every cruel intention, every injustice, and every tragedy becomes almost crystal clear, flooding your mind with unbearable understanding. You also become unbearably sarcastic.

I wish everyone got a little plush doll of their favorite animal

[TheHalfAasimar]

Granted! The world makes a bit more sense. Every hidden motive, every cruel intention, every injustice, and every tragedy becomes almost crystal clear, flooding your mind with unbearable understanding. You also become unbearably sarcastic.

I wish everyone got a little plush doll of their favorite animal

Wish granted! However, they start getting stolen in large amounts, and make people very unhappy.

I wish my parents would understand manga beyond 'itsa comic book'

[paddyfool]

Wish granted! However, they start getting stolen in large amounts, and make people very unhappy.

I wish my parents would understand manga beyond 'itsa comic book'

Congratulations! Your parents’ knowledge of all other languages is replaced by knowledge of Japanese and Korean. This causes them some headaches, but suddenly they can understand not just Manga but Manwha too! They still aren’t keen on them though.

I wish for the world to improve as my son grows up.

[bug_sniper]

Alright, but what if your son becomes more and more childish. Does the world become a polluted tyrant-controlled warzone hellscape?

I wish I could start my life over and start out knowing what I know now.

[TheHalfAasimar]

Alright, but what if your son becomes more and more childish. Does the world become a polluted tyrant-controlled warzone hellscape?

I wish I could start my life over and start out knowing what I know now.

Wish granted! After getting transported thousands of years into the past, you still have all the knowledge you'll ever need! If you were still in the 20th century, that is. Get ready to socialize with primitive humans who don't speak English!

I wish for ideas about my writing.