Advice needed: How do I hand things to people without them touching me?

[gomipile]

I quite often have to hand relatively heavy packages with built-in handles to people as part of my day-to-day life.

I feel as though I have to hand them off to be polite. Setting the package on the ground or floor has been considered impolite most of the times I've tried that. The packages are of varying weight about 20 to 30 pounds each (9 to 13.5 kg,) with either one or two built-in handles.

I'm more used to handling these packages than they are, so it would seem polite to hand them off in such a way that they use the handles.

So, with the setup out of the way, here's the problem: About 95%+ of the time, if I cradle the package in my hands, and tilt the package to present the handle(s) to the person to make it easy for them, they put their hands right up against mine, and awkwardly try to cradle it the same way I was, which ends up looking very unbalanced, usually. If I hold it by the handle(s), they try to grab it out of my hands by the handles, squishing our fingers together as they do it.

If I present the handle to them and ask them to please grab the handles, they still try to awkwardly cradle-grab it like I described above, except they act more annoyed about it.

These are mostly loose acquaintances with a few people I've never met before sprinkled in.

Does anyone have any advice I could try on how to improve this? The above represents a bit over a year's worth of my attempts and observations about the results. This situation comes up perhaps about 15 times per week, so this experience is likely to be from more than 500 separate instances.

[Tarmor]

I feel that in current circumstances, I wouldn't be handing anything to someone else (risking contact) unless I actually know that person very well.
I'd be leaving parcels on the ground and stepping back. Even adds I see for food delivery now show people leaving bags and boxes on doorsteps.
Is this a work situation? Don't they have suggestions or procedures to follow? This isn't a concern about being polite or impolite. It's health and safety.
The other suggestion is wear gloves.

[Chen]

If I present the handle to them and ask them to please grab the handles, they still try to awkwardly cradle-grab it like I described above, except they act more annoyed about it.


If people won’t listen to directions leaving it on the floor and flipping them off as you walk away is appropriate.

[Peelee]

Step 1: Make up a form that looks business-y.

Step 2: Attach form to a clipboard with a pen held in the clipboard.

Step 3: Put clipboard on top of box before you pick it up.

Now you can walk to the person, put the box down, get the clipboard, ask them to sign, and you will have put the box on the ground without them perceiving it as rude. Clipboard is easily handed off by each person holding the opposite side. You have now successfully done a no-contact delivery.

It might be mildly annoying, but it'd work.

[flat_footed]

You're the expert here. Don't say please, direct them politely, but firmly on how to grab the box comfortably. If I were in your shoes:

- Walk up to customer holding the package by the handles
- Lift the package up to present the bottom at an easy grabbing height and the handles higher than normal
- "Make sure to support the package from the bottom so that contents don't *insert plausible risk of package mishandling*."

On the other end of the spectrum, go full on polite. Ask them how they'd prefer to hold the package and present it to them the opposite way.

[Peelee]

You're the expert here. Don't say please, direct them politely, but firmly on how to grab the box comfortably. If I were in your shoes:

- Walk up to customer holding the package by the handles
- Lift the package up to present the bottom at an easy grabbing height and the handles higher than normal
- "Make sure to support the package from the bottom so that contents don't *insert plausible risk of package mishandling*."

On the other end of the spectrum, go full on polite. Ask them how they'd prefer to hold the package and present it to them the opposite way.

Conversely, we them politely, but firmly to leave.

[Rawhide]

"One second. This box is heavy. For both your and my safety, I need to place this box down."

(You can place the box down here then say the below, or continue straight to the below while still holding it as you like.)

"This will enable both of us to handle the box in a safe manner."

---

If the box isn't heavy (and remember that even boxes that feel light might still be classified as heavy), you can still say: "One second. For both your and my safety, I need to place this box down."

---

If you can make it a policy, it's even easier: "One second. It is policy that for both your and my safety, I need to place this box down."

[gomipile]

I'll take some time to think about the responses in this thread. Thank you for your contributions.

Any more are also welcome, of course. I'm just here to let you know I'm still listening, and that I appreciate your answers.

[Rydiro]

Gloves?
And what is actually bad about them touching you?

[Tvtyrant]

Gloves?
And what is actually bad about them touching you?

Couple things.

If you do it a lot you are going to get every cold that runs through the population.

You are also passing a heavy object from your center to theirs, which is hard on your back if they are taller, shorter, weaker, or not mushed up close to you.

[Fyraltari]

Yell "catch!" Throw it at them and start running before they realize.

[Peelee]

Yell "catch!" Throw it at them and start running before they realize.

I retract all of my advice and wholeheartedly support this one.

[sktarq]

One option.
Use one hand under the object and one hand on one of the handles.
As you pass the object twist it to present it empty handle toward the recipient. This will clue them to grab the empty handle.

From here you can shift the weight to them with the support and and let go of the second handle until they can grab it...

.or if they try to mimic you slide your support hand away while holding it up with the handle until their new support hand is ready to take the weight.

Either way you'll minimize touch.

[mucat]

Is the reason people don't like it when you set the box on the floor that they then have to lift it from there? (Even with a handle, some folks are bad at lifting; they "lift with their back" and injure themselves.)

If so, then maybe do the handoff where there's a table available, or install one if there's not? If you set the box on the table for them, there are no overtones of "Here, I'm going to squander some perfectly good gravitational potential energy, and make you replace it." :-)

[gomipile]

Is the reason people don't like it when you set the box on the floor that they then have to lift it from there? (Even with a handle, some folks are bad at lifting; they "lift with their back" and injure themselves.)


Yes, a considerable fraction of these people are older than middle-aged. There isn't a table available. This usually happens on a set of stairs. Using the railing in a similar way as you suggest to use a table would not be possible in this location.

I've been trying some of the other suggestions here, but haven't seen much improvement of the situation.

I may just have to start disappointing people if I want to avoid this.

[Lysbeth]

I think maybe small amends to the "grab the box by the handles/bottom" phrase could be enough. Something like "you should take it by the bottom; the handles are small it would be awkward" or whatever that is subtly but unquestioningly pointing at "if you don't do as I say, you will be making this interaction awkward". I may be projecting, but I feel most people would go out of their way to not be "it" in such a situation.