Western Woodlands IC

[jakarta]

The town of Arch Crossing is on the Mistress River, dividing the "West" and the "East" of the Civilized Lands, the Lands being made up of the Unified and Allied Kingdoms and Republics that are under, or nominally under, the rule of The Lady, who is the Half Elven yet seemingly immortal Queen or Mother, Mother-in-law, Aunt, Step-Mother, Step-Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law, Step-Sister-In-Law, (great/great-great)Grandmother....or very powerful neighbor of every other ruler in the region.

Now, if you are though parsing that one sentence describing the politics of the area we won't be playing in....

The town of Arch Crossing is famous for its ancient arch, which doesn't cross the river, and its ferries, that do cross the river. It is one of the ferries, and not the arch, which will play a part in our adventure, unless the players rebel and go investigating the arch, in which case The Shattered Star and related Adventure Paths (TM) are sitting on the GM's hard-drive.... (You are in fantasy St. Louis. MO.)

But if we can stick to the 'Wilderness Woodlands" theme that was advertised....Across the river is a month's worth of overland travel though plains and farmlands before reaching the "Western Baronies" of the Frontier.

The Western Woodlands is where Corian's letter instructs him to go, but more about that later....

The Starving Stirge definitely has no stars, but does have a listing in The Lowly Material Plane Travel Guide, which mentions "Cheap, low quality food and accommodations... not overly discerning of clientele... yet relatively safe due to employment of large bouncers and connections with local officials." One of the large bouncers, seemingly at least half-ogre, is seated just inside the door, and an 'off-duty' but still fully uniformed and armed city guard is standing just outside the door.

Either the Travel Guide (in which case add it to the character sheet), or dumb luck has brought Corian to this tavern.

All of the other tables are occupied by patrons who from their glares or blatant ignoring have indicated that additional company is not desired or welcomed. This has left one end of a long table, the other end of which is occupied by 3 rough looking men who are quarreling over as much as playing a card game, the pot growing on the table between them. They pay no attention to Corian as he sits, sipping whatever cheap, watered down, and/or pretentious drink he ordered while he waits to greet the next PC who walks in, hoping whomever it is has seen his flyer advertising a desire for traveling companions.

The menu is the typical modern hybrid of Fantasy Scottish pub fare, Probably imitation Elvin wines and fruit juices, and knock-off StarBucks coffee and tea concoctions. Most of the patrons seem to have stew and ale or cappuccinos. You aren't likely to find a barista west of the river, so if that is your thing, drink up.

(I'm in an off-the-cuff and what-4th-wall? mood today.)

[Saintheart]

Kearn Raynor kicked the tavern door open.

Or rather, he would've kicked the door open if he had thighs that didn't somewhat resemble noodles joined on at the bottom end of his torso. So rather than kick the door he instead sort of raised a leg, pushed the door, got some resistance, pushed somewhat more, got less resistance and then none and thus somewhat stumbled and half-fell through the doorway, past the half-ogre bouncer, made a somewhat unimpressive-looking recovery to both feet, straightened both his clothes and his chosen mildly-intimidating expression, and strode to the bar.

"Eh'Spa'resso," he said to the barman, whose appearance did not meet editing guidelines and therefore does not appear in this post. "Hot, take it easy on the milk."

And then turned, scanning the room and its denizens, holding up a parchment he'd liberated from a nearby wall. He narrowed his eyes appropriately, cleared his throat so his voice would rumble properly when he affected a basso tone, clomped over to the table containing the individual who was presumably Corian, and said: "You the one who posted the notice looking for hard men to get into trouble with?"

[Toliudar]

Corian

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/47/84/2e/47842e63bfffe298f0b76dabd4532edb.jpg

The young man looked up at the skinny man's approach. Of course, it's the narrator describing Kearn as skinny, not Corian. Because THAT would be the pot calling the kettle black. Come to think of it, Corian likes black things, so he'll go ahead and call Kearn skinny too.

"Hey, skinny man. Nice walking stick."

The young man - he was either still in his teens or could see them if he turned around quickly, pushed back in his chair. His clothes creaked slightly, the black leather still clearly being worked in. On the table in front of him was a lovingly polished crossbow, and a pint of a murky brown liquid, barely touched.

"Yeah. That was me. Hard men. Getting into trouble. Um. Just to be clear. This is not a sex thing. I should have been more explicit about that in the notice. Or less explicit. Either way, sit down. I'm Corian. Who are you?"

[cecil1994]

"Oh, that's good."

Emmaline-- or Em, really, to anyone who's not her sister-- grabs a cushion from one of the booths and plops it down on the chair next to Corian. She's on the taller side for a gnome, a little bucktoothed, and very deliberate in coughing prettily into her handkerchief. (She's held the cough until she could make her introduction. Hard to say "no, I won't raise your pay" to a terminally ill gnome.)

"I needed the work, but it did seem a little off-color." She nods towards the skinny newcomer. "You go first! Sorry for interrupting your introduction."

[jakarta]

The bouncer strides up to the table and plops a booster seat down on the bench, and then drops a kid's menu, activity place mat, pack of 3 crayons (pink, bule, yellow), and a bib onto the table.

He is unable to suppress a snicker as he returns to his post by the door.

[cecil1994]

The bouncer strides up to the table and plops a booster seat down on the bench, and then drops a kid's menu, activity place mat, pack of 3 crayons (pink, bule, yellow), and a bib onto the table.

He is unable to suppress a snicker as he returns to his post by the door.

Em spends the duration of Mr. Raynor's introduction staring the bouncer down and eating the crayons, one by one.

(sleight of hand to palm the crayons and replace them with appropriately-colored gum: [roll0])

[jakarta]

Bouncer's perception

[roll0]

[jakarta]

The ogerkin chuckles, believing that the gnome is just that stupid.

Deduct 3 cp from your funds for the gum, and add the crayons to your inventory.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian smiles faintly at Em, watching his definition of 'hard men' stretch to the breaking point and well beyond. Then he opts to get over his racist, sexist attitudes, and enjoys her moment of legerdemain.

"And what kind of work do you do, Miss...um..."

[cecil1994]

The ogerkin chuckles, believing that the gnome is just that stupid.

Deduct 3 cp from your funds for the gum, and add the crayons to your inventory.

Em-- who spent all of her money on knives, handkerchiefs, and absolutely zero armor-- has entered 3cp into debt. Hopefully Corian will be paying up soon?


Corian

Corian smiles faintly at Em, watching his definition of 'hard men' stretch to the breaking point and well beyond. Then he opts to get over his racist, sexist attitudes, and enjoys her moment of legerdemain.

"And what kind of work do you do, Miss...um..."

"Larceny." She spits approximately half of the gum into a (different) handkerchief. Three pieces, Small-sized mouth...? "Usually mugging. Haven't killed anyone, if that's what you're asking."

She nudges the crossbow. "You also do rogue stuff? Mom never actually taught me trapfinding, so."

[cecil1994]

"Oh, gods, that made it sound like my name was Larceny, huh." She sticks out a hand. "Em Mireshgi. Not quite a good enough cutpurse to pass the name on to my kids. "

[jakarta]

The unseen DM double takes, checks sheet, doesn't find "trapfinding" on the rogue's sheet, wonders briefly if it is a Pathfinder thing, also doesn't find armor, does find 3 health related flaws, mumbles about "shoulda stuck to requiring pregens", makes a call to see if the burrowing owl mariachis from Rango are available...

_____

A waiter drops off an unordered bowl of chicken-noodle & vegetables soup and another pack of crayons (green, white, purple), applies the bib to the gnome, and gives a sympathetic look at the "parents" before leaving.

[Saintheart]

Kearn had paused, silent, while this byplay went on. A passerby might well have been mistaken for thinking the man was in another timezone or something.

That said, he did have enough presence of mind to call to the waiter: "Hey! Any sign of that Eh'sah'presso any time soon? I've only got a full month to wait here!"

He turned back to the table, fishing 3 copper pieces out and passing them across to Em. He resumed the basso that was not his natural voice. "Here, you just mugged me. Guards, guards, all that. Yeah, ah, I wasn't looking for sex. No. Totally not. Um. Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of profession, capitalism for the win and all that. Um. No. I was, uh, just looking for a job." He seemed to get some of his composure back. "Name's Kearn Raynor. Intimidator extraordinaire, when I walk the streets, kings and queens step aside. You're looking for hard men, you found one."

[jakarta]

The waiter delivers a small saucer with a mug about twice the size of a thimble containing a dallup of black liquid. Also a bill for 2 silver.

"Your espresso, sir." says the otherwise disinterested dirty blond waitress.

[cecil1994]

The unseen DM double takes, checks sheet, doesn't find "trapfinding" on the rogue's sheet, wonders briefly if it is a Pathfinder thing, also doesn't find armor, does find 3 health related flaws, mumbles about "shoulda stuck to requiring pregens", makes a call to see if the burrowing owl mariachis from Rango are available...

_____

A waiter drops off an unordered bowl of chicken-noodle & vegetables soup and another pack of crayons (green, white, purple), applies the bib to the gnome, and gives a sympathetic look at the "parents" before leaving.

The puppeteer floating behind Em (read-- me) is still very grateful for the chance to muck around with a build of his own. (Traded trapfinding for the ability to Frighten people, if my demoralize check beats the DC by more than 5. If trapfinding is gonna be a necessity-- I figured, you know, wilderness setting, etc-- I can swap out one of my traits for this (https://www.d20pfsrd.com/traits/campaign-traits/mummy-s-mask/trap-finder/), or save up for an eternal wand (https://dnd.arkalseif.info/items/magic-item-compendium--73/eternal-wand-2nd-level-spell--393/index.html) of this (https://www.aonprd.com/SpellDisplay.aspx?ItemName=Aram%20Zey%27s%20Focus) .)

Em chooses not to eat these crayons. Resting on your laurels is comedy death. Free soup, though.



He turned back to the table, fishing 3 copper pieces out and passing them across to Em. He resumed the basso that was not his natural voice. "Here, you just mugged me. Guards, guards, all that. Yeah, ah, I wasn't looking for sex. No. Totally not. Um. Not that there's anything wrong with that sort of profession, capitalism for the win and all that. Um. No. I was, uh, just looking for a job." He seemed to get some of his composure back. "Name's Kearn Raynor. Intimidator extraordinaire, when I walk the streets, kings and queens step aside. You're looking for hard men, you found one."

"I'm really not sure that sex work is peak capitalism. Sure, the whims of capitalism might force people into sex work, but sex work's been around long before capitalism, and is about as much of a "capitalist practice" as me passing over an I-owe-you for the crayon money."

She hands Kearn a napkin. THREE COPPER PIECES :) is scribbled on it; in purple crayon, of course.

"I don't have any ranks in History, so what do I know? All I'm saying is that ascribing every economic practice to capitalism makes capitalism feel eternal, predestined, and inescapable, when really--" she slurps down her chicken noodle soup-- "it's not."

[jakarta]

<<Just leave it as is. And it was gum money, but no need to correct that either.>>

"Capitalism is investing in the brothel, Sweety." interjects the waitress, before deciding that the expresso bill will be paid later and moves off to refill real coffee at a table across the tavern.

[Ancient]

Rakim Anberic

A tall man dressed in Kellish garb strides into the bar. The colors and symbols on his armor, shield and holy symbol openly declare him as a devout follower of Sarenae, the Dawnflower. He strides over to the bar. He notes the animated conversation on capitalism, and seems more curious than judgemental or repulsed.

"Tea please, sweet."

[jakarta]

Rakim Anberic

A tall man dressed in Kellish garb strides into the bar. The colors and symbols on his armor, shield and holy symbol openly declare him as a devout follower of Sarenae, the Dawnflower. He strides over to the bar. He notes the animated conversation on capitalism, and seems more curious than judgemental or repulsed.

"Tea please, sweet."

"Red, black, white, chi, Thai, Jasmine, green, Earl Gray, herbal, bubble, matcha, North Korean, or Chamomile?" The bartender seems distressed at having to remember all that.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian watches the interplay between Em and Kearn before being distracted by the holy man at the bar. Based on the backstory that he's just found out that he knew all along, having a priest along might be very helpful. But in the interim, Corian smiles uncertainly at Em first.

"Larceny...might be useful where we're going, but so would finding traps. Hopefully, we won't need to mug anyone."

Even the wide-eyed youth is skeptical of Kearn's claims about being a master of intimidation. Well, worst case scenario, they put put him in the lead and let him find the traps.

Stalling for time to see if anyone else shows up, Corian turns to Em.

"I guess I'm not much of a capitalist myself, but I could probably buy you a drink. What'll you have?"

[cecil1994]

Corian

"Larceny...might be useful where we're going, but so would finding traps. Hopefully, we won't need to mug anyone."

She scratches her nose. A faint dusting of pollen sprinkles out onto the table. "Already told the DM, but there's wands that can cover my deficiencies. You gotta pay me before I can buy one, though."

Being, you know, not an *******, she starts wiping the pollen up wirh her shirt sleeve. "Got the game to make up for this little lacking. I'm worth your coin."


"I guess I'm not much of a capitalist myself, but I could probably buy you a drink. What'll you have?"

"Long Island iced tea. Easy on the Coke."

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian chuckles.

"Full marks for chutzpah. You note that don't do the thing that rogues usually do, then tell me I've got to buy you an expensive toy in advance to make up for that."

Corian rises, sliding his crossbow onto a hook onto his back.

"Be right back."

Stepping up to the bar, Corian passes on the order, understanding neither what long island nor coke might be.

To be clear, Cecil: I'm very happy to be playing with you, and look forward to getting to know Em better. It was just irresistable.

[Saintheart]

Kearn looked down at the napkin that Em handed him, then back at her. "You don't have a lot of ranks in Forgery either, do you?" Noticing movement near the bar, he turned to see a cleric of Sarenae looking at them. "Oh for crying out loud. Why is it whenever one talks about prostitution the bloody clerics show up?"

[cecil1994]

Corian

Corian chuckles.

"Full marks for chutzpah. You note that don't do the thing that rogues usually do, then tell me I've got to buy you an expensive toy in advance to make up for that."

Corian rises, sliding his crossbow onto a hook onto his back.

"Be right back."

Stepping up to the bar, Corian passes on the order, understanding neither what long island nor coke might be.

To be clear, Cecil: I'm very happy to be playing with you, and look forward to getting to know Em better. It was just irresistable.


"The ad said "hey, let's traipse through the woods together". I just so happen--" she chirps, squawks, cheeps, waggles her hands around, all that-- "to speak Critter. Plus, who leaves traps in the wilderness?"

Em considers that. Slurps a little more soup. "Besides trappers. I can handle nonmagical stuff, though. Bear traps are fine."

Even more soup. It seems to have helped with her cough, which is nice. "I can show off some other skills if you'd like. I'd hope I'm at least as scary as our... uh.... wizard." She nudges Raynor. "Did I get that right."

you're absolutely fine <3 it was funny


Kearn looked down at the napkin that Em handed him, then back at her. "You don't have a lot of ranks in Forgery either, do you?"

"Oh, so you're from that generation. Next you're gonna ask me what's my Spot modifier, huh?

[Ancient]

"Red, black, white, chi, Thai, Jasmine, green, Earl Gray, herbal, bubble, matcha, North Korean, or Chamomile?" The bartender seems distressed at having to remember all that.

Earl Gray if you please. Rakim pulls out his copy of The Lowly Material Plane Travel Guide, and makes a checkmark.

I dare say, this place really lives up to the description.

[jakarta]

Earl Gray if you please. Rakim pulls out his copy of The Lowly Material Plane Travel Guide, and makes a checkmark.

I dare say, this place really lives up to the description.

"Sweetened with Honey, Stevia, Sweet and low, brown sugar...........

[Toliudar]

Corian

Smiling, Corian gathers Em's drink order, and nods a cautious greeting to the Sarenite. On his way back to the table, Corian pauses to slide the fourth wall closed so that the characters might have a chance to chat without the players getting in the way.

He sets down Em's drink and lifts his own bitter coffee for a grimace-y sip. He settles back into his seat, sliding the crossbow onto his lap. Corian's head cranes back to the door.

"There will be some traipsing, to be sure, but some of the work will be indoors as well. But more on that after a drink. We'll see who else shows. Which brings me to -"

He turns back to Kearn.

"- skinny man. What's your story, skinny man?"

[Ancient]

"Sweetened with Honey, Stevia, Sweet and low, brown sugar...........

Honey if you please.

After the order is complete. Rakim salutes the bartender with the cup and turns towards the boisterous crowd.

Prostitution? larceny? forgery? This place has everything but discretion.

[jakarta]

Also gambling and arguing...

The only uncontested place available to sit is either with the Goth kid, the weezy Gnome, and Skinny Man.... Or between them and the arguing gamblers.

If the gnome actually drinks that Long Island, give me 10 fort saves vs poision, one for each shot of liquore in it.

The wizard's espresso is only one save.

[cecil1994]

Huh.

[roll0]
[roll1]
[roll2]
[roll3]
[roll4]
[roll5]
[roll6]
[roll7]
[roll8]
[roll9]

I'd like to think she's not trying to get ****faced, though. She just shares my (lack of) taste for extremely alcoholic, extremely cheap drinks.

[Ancient]

Rakim Anberic

Rakim makes his way over to the table and the empty seat. He eyes the big drink and the child size Gnome about to drink it.

Miss, I shall shall gladly officiate your funeral if you fail THAT trial by fire.

[jakarta]

I don't drink, but I understand that Long Island's are supposed to be sipped...

But it is funnier for her to guzzle, burb, set the glass down, start to whipe her mouth with a hankerchief, SPLAT...not drowning as there isn't that much soup left in the bowl.

Um... cleric?

[cecil1994]

Rakim Anberic

Rakim makes his way over to the table and the empty seat. He eyes the big drink and the child size Gnome about to drink it.

Miss, I shall shall gladly officiate your funeral if you fail THAT trial by fire.

"Mm. Not used to Medium-sized drinks, is all. Wanna help out?" She sticks another straw in the glass. "Don't worry, I didn't pay. Also--" her hands dip under the table, flash a knife, and just as quickly tuck it back into her sleeves. On its handle was the unmistakable mark of the Dawnflower. "S'nice to meet another believer."

Hadn't marked it on my sheet till now, but yes, one of Em's traits-- Blade of Mercy-- is only available to followers of Sarenrae. She's (mostly) devout.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian has come to feel that either he has lost control of this gathering, or never had it to begin with. He smiles at the Sarenite and gestures to one of the two or possibly three empty seats at the table.

"No funerals today."

He nonchalantly shifts Em's soup bowl so that there's room for her to rest her head on the table if she needs to.

"Today is about seeking fortunes and wisdom. Which I'll tell you all about...soon."

[Ancient]

Rakim Anberic


"Mm. Not used to Medium-sized drinks, is all. Wanna help out?" She sticks another straw in the glass. "Don't worry, I didn't pay. Also--" her hands dip under the table, flash a knife, and just as quickly tuck it back into her sleeves. On its handle was the unmistakable mark of the Dawnflower. "S'nice to meet another believer."

Rakim eyes the gnome curiously, there is much more than meets the eye with this one.

"Indeed, followers of the Dawnflower are all well met."

Rakim makes a simple gesture of blessing over her.

"I appreciate your offer of drink, but alas I have my own "tea". Go gently though, I am not so skilled a healer as to remove poisons from the blood."


Corian

Corian has come to feel that either he has lost control of this gathering, or never had it to begin with. He smiles at the Sarenite and gestures to one of the two or possibly three empty seats at the table.

"No funerals today."

He nonchalantly shifts Em's soup bowl so that there's room for her to rest her head on the table if she needs to.

"Today is about seeking fortunes and wisdom. Which I'll tell you all about...soon."

Rakim casts another worried glance at the reckless gnome, and graciously accepts the seat.

"Oh? You have an adventure afoot?"

[Saintheart]

Kearn raised his miserable thimble of coffee to the table. "Your health, folks. Reason I'm not saying much is because my personal history is somewhat unfinished, so I hold the philosophy that one's actions are determined by one's future actions."

[roll0]

Well **** I'm dead.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian smiles in a manner that is clearly meant to be mysterious but ends up looking kind of constipated.

"It's only an adventure if something goes wrong."

He turns to look at the door again.

"Let's just wait to see what else comes through the door first."

[jakarta]

Kearn raised his miserable thimble of coffee to the table. "Your health, folks. Reason I'm not saying much is because my personal history is somewhat unfinished, so I hold the philosophy that one's actions are determined by one's future actions."

[roll0]

Well **** I'm dead.

The Expresso is a bit gritty, but it is concentrated and packs quite a jolt.

-1 Wis, -1dex, +2 inititive, +2 concentration

For an hour.

[jakarta]

The next person though the door....has to come in one shoulder at a time. He is nearly 8 ft tall and about 6 ft wide. A dark skinned half orc with a face of healed but crisscrossed scars, protruding lower tusks, and wild eyes. eyes that show a mix of hostility and fear as they look around the tavern as if deciding who he has to fight next.

[jakarta]

The next person though the door....has to come in one shoulder at a time. He is nearly 8 ft tall and about 6 ft wide. A dark skinned half orc with a face of healed but crisscrossed scars, protruding lower tusks, and wild eyes. eyes that show a mix of hostility and fear as they look around the tavern as if deciding who he has to fight next.

His clothing is a mishmash of different styles of garments put on at random over rags that are as much grime as thread. The newer garments are all blood caked with different degrees of dryness, as though he took one article of clothing at random from each person he has beat up between the river and the tavern.

You assume river as his right arm has a shackle binding it, and connected to it by 18 inches of chain is about 30 inches of a broken oar handle, dangling by his shin.

[Saintheart]

"Now there's an oarsome looking fellow," said Kearn.

In some universe somewhere a drum set went b-boom tsss, but not the present one.

[jakarta]

"Now there's an oarsome looking fellow," said Kearn.

In some universe somewhere a drum set went b-boom tsss, but not the present one.

The half orc focuses on the skinny wizard.

His head tilts.

Sense motive checks.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian smiles faintly at the mountain of carnage that has just entered the tavern. He raised his hand and waved.

"Can I buy you a drink, sailor?"

Sense Motive: [roll0]

[jakarta]

Corian

Corian smiles faintly at the mountain of carnage that has just entered the tavern. He raised his hand and waved.

"Can I buy you a drink, sailor?"

Sense Motive: [roll0]

There is a moment's pause...

"YES"

>>check result: He hadn't understood what the wizard said and was trying to decide if he needed to pound someone...<<

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian gestures to a seat at their table.

"Take a seat. Take two, they're small. Well, relatively speaking."

Rising, Corian goes to the bar and quietly orders a large container of the weakest beer that they had. He hauls it back to the table with difficulty.

I'm happy to do the narrative stuff to get us moving, but only have an approximate sense of the geography and obstacles we'll be facing.

[jakarta]

Corian

Corian gestures to a seat at their table.

"Take a seat. Take two, they're small. Well, relatively speaking."

Rising, Corian goes to the bar and quietly orders a large container of the weakest beer that they had. He hauls it back to the table with difficulty.

I'm happy to do the narrative stuff to get us moving, but only have an approximate sense of the geography and obstacles we'll be facing.


The half orc somewhat hesitantly approaches the table and works out the logistics of sitting. He pulls the oar fragment into his lap and holds it as though getting ready to row.

When the tankard is places in front of him by Corian, he face turns to shock. He looks to Corian and back to the drink several times, before noticing how the other patrons are holding similar tankards by the handle. He grasps the handle of his tankard... lifts it experimentally, then, dropping the oar in his lap uses his other hand to steady the tankard as he drinks deeply. In five gulps he finishes the beer.

As he finishes he seems unsure of if he likes beer, but impressed that he got a whole tankard to himself.

He looks around the table, spying the nearly empty soup bowl. Still holding the tankard in his right hand, he reaches for the bowl with his left hand. When no one stops him, the takes up the bowl and starts licking it clean.

OOC: I'll let you guys interact here at the tavern in character until the end of Monday, to give the people who expressed interest time to join in. After that the plot will advance.

You are doing fine with Corian, who at this point only thinks he knows what he is doing. Geography will be filled in as we go.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian bites the bullet and attempts to engage the half-orc, who Corian could swear was big enough to exert his own gravitic pull, in conversation. Now THIS was someone he could hide behind in case of trouble. He nods reassuringly, and speaks slowly but not unkindly.

"There will be more food later. What is your name? Would you like us to take off the oar?"

Corian mimes releasing the shackle on the orc's wrist, using a sudden opening movement of his hand.

[jakarta]

Corian

Corian bites the bullet and attempts to engage the half-orc, who Corian could swear was big enough to exert his own gravitic pull, in conversation. Now THIS was someone he could hide behind in case of trouble. He nods reassuringly, and speaks slowly but not unkindly.

"There will be more food later. What is your name? Would you like us to take off the oar?"

Corian mimes releasing the shackle on the orc's wrist, using a sudden opening movement of his hand.

He focuses on Corian, trying to follow... "FOOD"...."KREL"...

He seems confused about the oar thing. Without ever putting down the bowl or tankard he looks back and forth from his enshackled wrist and Corian.

ALL: Spot, Craft:metal working/black smithing, disable device, and/or default to INT check.

[cecil1994]

Disable Device. She's not an entirely useless rogue.

[roll0]

[Toliudar]

Corian - basic int check: [roll0]

[jakarta]

In looking at the device you wish to disable you are smart enough to notice it has been riveted / welded shut.

You're going to need a black smith, or a couple hours with a hacksaw, or some other less direct solution.

[Toliudar]

What about a repeated use of Acid Splash?

[Saintheart]

I've got an Unseen Servant that's good for 2 hours, now all we need is a hacksaw.

[jakarta]

What about a repeated use of Acid Splash?

"Splash" is by definition imprecise. A hacksaw is twice the price of a normal tool.

[jakarta]

"Splash" is by definition imprecise. A hacksaw is twice the price of a normal tool.
Referencing "drill" and assuming it is for wood and not metal... You need 10 gp. Or pay a blacksmith.

[Ancient]

Corian

Corian smiles in a manner that is clearly meant to be mysterious but ends up looking kind of constipated.

"It's only an adventure if something goes wrong."

"I do not know about you my friend, but my life has been full of adventure"

He turns to look at the door again.


"Let's just wait to see what else comes through the door first."

Rakim is about to try to say something witty, when the hulking orc fills the doorway. Rakim gulps his hot tea to hide his shock. Reflexively, his hand wanders towards his scimitar, it was orcs who raided his village, but The Lady stays his hand. Rakim smiles and gives thanks to Her and the trials she has put before him, obviously, temperance is the lesson of the day.

"Oh look, here comes adventure, now."

Rakim examines the bestial humanoid, his ragged state suggesting violence and fugitive slavery. A tinge of pity overcomes him.


Heal check to see if the slab of beef is wounded:
Heal: [roll0]

[jakarta]

"I do not know about you my friend, but my life has been full of adventure"

He turns to look at the door again.



Rakim is about to try to say something witty, when the hulking orc fills the doorway. Rakim gulps his hot tea to hide his shock. Reflexively, his hand wanders towards his scimitar, it was orcs who raided his village, but The Lady stays his hand. Rakim smiles and gives thanks to Her and the trials she has put before him, obviously, temperance is the lesson of the day.

"Oh look, here comes adventure, now."

Rakim examines the bestial humanoid, his ragged state suggesting violence and fugitive slavery. A tinge of pity overcomes him.


Heal check to see if the slab of beef is wounded:
Heal: [roll0]



Bruised (some non-lethal hp damage), repetitive stress injuries, chronically malnourished, multiple skin conditions, in need of hygiene training, and probably a few years of emotional counseling.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian is relieved to see the probably-a-holy-man take a proprietary interest in the half-orc's health. He tries again to convey simple meaning. If the half-orc was going to be this dense, there was no point in bringing him along, no matter how strong he was. One might as well buy a bull.

"Krel, there is a chain bolted to your wrist. Would you like the chain to go away?"

[jakarta]

The next word has a definite twinge of sadness.

"CHAIN..."

Still holding the bowl and tankard, his arms drop towards his body...and he begins rowing as if holding an oar.


(I once knew someone who had taken in a couple if abused chiauas. They were constantly spinning in tight circles as they had spend most of their lives in small cages.)

[cecil1994]

Em sighs. "Eventually, I wanna get paid, but... alright."

She exchanges a few words with the bartender, mutters something like "....mom'd never forgive me if I didn't... soup for the soul... can't really help with the rest of his problems... and comes back to the table with an entire pot of french onion soup.

She heaves it onto the table, right in front of the orc. "For you."

(Em ladles herself a small bowl, of course.)

[jakarta]

He stop rowing when the soup arrives.

He looks at the soup pot, looks at the gnome, looks at the tankard, looks at Corian, cycles though them all 3 times...

He puts down the bowl and tankard, picks up the soup pot with both hands.

He sniffs the soup. He likes what he smells.

Looking over the soup, he peers down at the gnome. "BOSS."

He turns his frame to look at Corian. "BOSS."

He starts drinking the soup right out of the pot.

[cecil1994]

More muttering to herself. "aw **** yeah im the boss in bold print"

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian carefully removes a clearly ill-fitting cloak from Krel's back. Using slow and careful movements, he wraps it above and beyond the shackle on Krel's wrist.

"This may sting a bit. Hold still."

Placing his hand on Krel's shackles, Corian chants several words of power and a tiny burst of energy flashes in the hand. Then Corian does it again. Using the liberated cloak to wipe any liquid away from Krel's skin, Corian points to the shackle.

"Try to break it off."

I'm hoping that the imprecise nature of Acid Splash is mitigated by reducing the range to "I'm touching the target". Corian will acid splash the shackle enough to weaken the metal.

[jakarta]

Corian

Corian carefully removes a clearly ill-fitting cloak from Krel's back. Using slow and careful movements, he wraps it above and beyond the shackle on Krel's wrist.

"This may sting a bit. Hold still."

Placing his hand on Krel's shackles, Corian chants several words of power and a tiny burst of energy flashes in the hand. Then Corian does it again. Using the liberated cloak to wipe any liquid away from Krel's skin, Corian points to the shackle.

"Try to break it off."

I'm hoping that the imprecise nature of Acid Splash is mitigated by reducing the range to "I'm touching the target". Corian will acid splash the shackle enough to weaken the metal.



So, Acid Splash does 1d3. Energy attacks do half damage to objects, so you have done 2 points of damage to the shackle. You were careful enough to not injure him. He follows instructions.

Krel raises his hand above his head and slams the shackle on the table.

[roll0]

[jakarta]

The shackle does not break, and the 1/2 ogre bouncer comes over to your now somewhat damaged table.

HEY! Easy on the Fufnature. You Breafk it you buyfs it!

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian smiles at the others gathered around the table.

"Thanks for your patience. I'm guessing we'll all feel better with this not swinging wildly off his arm.

Wrapping the cloak up around the shackle again, Corian repeats the simple incantation another ten times, then wipes off Krel's arm and discards the cloak under the table.

"Try again, Krel. Uh. Maybe on the floor this time."

[jakarta]

He seems mystified as to what Corian is doing. But he follows instructions.

He kneels on the floor and raises his arm.

BAM.

The shackel clanks open on the floor.

He stares at his wrist.

He doesn't know what to say or do next.

[Toliudar]

Corian

Extending a hand down to Krel, Corian encourages the half-orc back to his feet, and then guides him back to the chair that has, thus far, held his weight. A good omen.

"Unless you want to go back to the boat, you should stay with us. We will feed you. We will keep each other safe."

Corian was confident that the group had now done so much to draw attention to itself that anyone within the town limits who might be interested in their business would already be listening. No point in getting furtive now. He looked around the table and speaks with the flourish of a journeyman street hustler.

"Welcome, all, and thank you for joining me. Know that I am Corian Shadowgaunt, Master of the Two Streams, and I offer you the opportunity to join me. Nearby, a mad wizard, Eralion, has made his lair. I have reason to believe that he has fallen prey to unfortunate circumstances. I believe that I have the key to access this lair. I need your help in navigating his home, in getting there and back safely. In exchange for your help, we will each take an equal share in any treasure, mundane or magical, that we find in his home. The only exception to this will be Eralion's notes and journals, which I claim as a finder's fee. Questions?"

He drains the last of his now-cold-and-bitter coffee and grimaces.

[jakarta]

Corian

Extending a hand down to Krel, Corian encourages the half-orc back to his feet, and then guides him back to the chair that has, thus far, held his weight. A good omen.

"Unless you want to go back to the boat, you should stay with us. We will feed you. We will keep each other safe."

Corian was confident that the group had now done so much to draw attention to itself that anyone within the town limits who might be interested in their business would already be listening. No point in getting furtive now. He looked around the table and speaks with the flourish of a journeyman street hustler.

"Welcome, all, and thank you for joining me. Know that I am Corian Shadowgaunt, Master of the Two Streams, and I offer you the opportunity to join me. Nearby, a mad wizard, Eralion, has made his lair. I have reason to believe that he has fallen prey to unfortunate circumstances. I believe that I have the key to access this lair. I need your help in navigating his home, in getting there and back safely. In exchange for your help, we will each take an equal share in any treasure, mundane or magical, that we find in his home. The only exception to this will be Eralion's notes and journals, which I claim as a finder's fee. Questions?"

He drains the last of his now-cold-and-bitter coffee and grimaces.

Krell accepts guidance back to the chair, and listens to Corian's suggestion that he stay with "us".

"STAY?"

He looks at his wrist, the tankard, the soup pot, "STAY!'

[cecil1994]

Em winces. "I'll admit that this might be the sort of jaunt where aptitudes for disarming magic traps would come in handy. Can still spot the ****ers, though. If you'll have me."

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian smiles with what seems to be developing into genuine fondness for the tiny thug.

"I'd be delighted."

[Ancient]

Rakim

Merciful Lady Rakim thinks as he glances at the odd assortment of characters gathered around the table and the chance of adventure laid so fortuitously at his feet. She does in deed work in mysterious ways. She smiles upon the bold.

"It seems a bounty of providence has been lain before me. I would join you, if you would have me. I am not an unskilled healer, and my blade is sharp in the service of the Dawnflower...not that you will need either, I am sure this will be a simple and uneventful trip, as all adventures are..."

[Toliudar]

Corian

Corian's smile widens.

"Cool. Thanks so much, Rakim. That'd be great."

He pauses and mumbles to himself.

"Yeah, it'd be good to have somebody who can deal with undead."

Plastering a smile across his face, he turns to the remaining member of the maybe-a-group, Kearn the Intimidator.

"How about it, Skinny Man. You in?"

[Saintheart]

"Well, uh, sure. Yeah. I, um, need the work. And the name's Kearn, not skinny man."

Kearn had never quite figured out the trick of making his speech turn particular colours. As far as he'd ever been able to go was to cause quotation marks to appear around them.

[jakarta]

"If you are using a phone, go to the browser settings and choose "Desktop site" to get the full forum interface." suggests the waitress rather anachronistically as she passes by...

Before you can process her odd advice the quarreling gamblers at the other end of the table advance the plot.

"Dragons are High!"

"No. Demons!"

"You both been cheating!"

Sounds like they should have set the rules of suit precedence before laying bets ...

All 3 stand, shouting and drawing weapons. Stabs and slashes later, all 3 lie dead slumped over the table and their pot, a red pool forming on both the table and floor.

"NOBODFY MOVFE!" orders the Bouncer, as the cut-scene starts...

[Ancient]

Rakim

Rakim tries to push past the wall of muscfle.

"I'M A HEALER! I CAN HELP!"

[jakarta]

Rakim

Rakim tries to push past the wall of muscfle.

"I'M A HEALER! I CAN HELP!"

As the cut scene plays around him, Rakim is ignored, but his examination reveals...Ow, Wow! All 3 managed to crit and roll max. They all rolled nat 1's on their saves too. They are all Hella dead.

The city guard from outside comes in and puts crime scene tape around the whole table, including your newly formed party in the crime scene.

The bouncer puts on a smock with "Coroner" stenciled on the back. He lifts and drops each head. "Dey Deadf." he declares to the waitress, who makes out official death certificates on her order pad, which the bouncer then signs and places on the bar before the bartender. The guard places various paperwork found on the bodies on the bar as well. the bartender disappears below the bar.

The bouncer walks back to his station, takes off the smock and pulls on a black shirt what has "Bailiff" on the back.
The straightens, and pronounces Archf Crossings Profbate Courft, Starfving Stirgef Anfnex, isf nowf in sesfsion. Thef Honfonabled Magfistratf Tayflor Griffonf prefsidfing.

THUMP.

You turn to see that the bartender, now in a black robe and powdered jurist's wig, has slammed a large book on the bar by the paperwork.

Well...., he places his finger on a well used bookmark, flips the book open, and puts his finger on a passage. Without looking at the book "The precedence is clear here. When someone dies during a card game, and the winner cannot be determined, the pot is split between all those sitting at the table. That be you lot. He gestors in the party's direction. I further rule, THAT as the bodies are actually in the pot, that you also are awarded custody of the bodies, the goods of the deceased, and their bills.

He looks though the papers, and the waitress hands him a bill. While he is looking, a waiter drops off 6 orders of steak, potatoes, mushroom soup, and steamed carrots at your end of the table, and 6 flagons of ale. Those guys must have been hungry.

"All right....looks like their cash coves their, bill, your bill, court costs, taxes, Crime scene clean up, and standard funeral expenses. There are claim tickets here for your wagons and animals, at BILL'S Stable...that is by Ferry Terminal 4. There is a Royal charter for an adventuring company...standard terms...I'll sign that over to you...you can fill your names in..You have a delivery contract in the Western Baronies.. and something about a land claim and an inheritance...oh...you shouldn't' stay too long, you have tickets on the ferry at Terminal 4 that leaves in 3 hours.

Apparently done, the bartender takes off his wig and starts catching up on the back order of drinks.

The guard removes the tape as 3 clerics of Wee Jass start collecting the bodies. 3 bloody weapons, 2 knives and a sickle are delivered on a try to your end of the table by the waiter, and the waitress drops of the charter and other documents.

[Toliudar]

Corian

As the bouncer/coroner/bailiff/plot device rolls through the narrative, Corian blinks in incomprehension. Then gets over it.

"Well. As you all know, we live in a world in which adventuring is a regulated profession even though there's no clear role for them within the social order unless you think of them as a kind of wandering landborne version of privateers, except without the 'using them as a weapon of commercial terrorism against other states' parts.

So...sign here."


He pushes the charter into the centre of the table.

[jakarta]

The charter is for THE ORDER OF THE BURNING BRIDGE. This reward/plea agreement bans the party from lands east of the TEN RIVERS (most of the cities in the civilized lands) under PAIN OF DEATH for 5 YEARS for their roles in the incident destroying the bridge and protecting the Lands form the MAD PLEAGUE outbreak. It grants the party RIGHTS to extract from non enclosed lands in the WESTERN BARONIES and WOODLANDS ...HERBAL PRODUCTS, SENTED WOODS, and FRUITS, NUTS, and BERRIES.

(Royal Charters are often used to send away people who are, or who might, cause trouble, such as firebrand clerics and paladins or overly ambitious 2ed or 3rd sons of nobles. .. or anyone politically undesirable at the moment.)

There is a codicil agreeing that the parties will take equal part, where able, in an inheritance of NEMORAN...

And an agreement with THE ALLIED CHURCHES to deliver 2 parcels in exchange for WAGON TEAMS and Provisions, and 500 GP per delivery.

[Ancient]

The charter is for THE ORDER OF THE BURNING BRIDGE. This reward/plea agreement bans the party from lands east of the TEN RIVERS (most of the cities in the civilized lands) under PAIN OF DEATH for 5 YEARS for their roles in the incident destroying the bridge and protecting the Lands form the MAD PLEAGUE outbreak. It grants the party RIGHTS to extract from non enclosed lands in the WESTERN BARONIES and WOODLANDS ...HERBAL PRODUCTS, SENTED WOODS, and FRUITS, NUTS, and BERRIES.

(Royal Charters are often used to send away people who are, or who might, cause trouble, such as firebrand clerics and paladins or overly ambitious 2ed or 3rd sons of nobles. .. or anyone politically undesirable at the moment.)

There is a codicil agreeing that the parties will take equal part, where able, in an inheritance of NEMORAN...

And an agreement with THE ALLIED CHURCHES to deliver 2 parcels in exchange for WAGON TEAMS and Provisions, and 500 GP per delivery.

Rakim mutters a brief prayer over the bodies.

"Nemoran? 2 Parcels? All the Fruits, Nuts, and Berries we can carry?"

Obviously, the witnessing of a suicide pact in front of his very eyes has Rakim a little flustered.

[jakarta]

Rakim mutters a brief prayer over the bodies.

"Nemoran? 2 Parcels? All the Fruits, Nuts, and Berries we can carry?"

Obviously, the witnessing of a suicide pact in front of his very eyes has Rakim a little flustered.

Suicide pact? You mean the charter, or the results of the card game?

And not as many as you can carry, as many as you can export...it is almost a monopoly.

[Ancient]

Suicide pact? You mean the charter, or the results of the card game?

And not as many as you can carry, as many as you can export...it is almost a monopoly.

Suicide pact? You mean the charter, or the results of the card game?

And not as many as you can carry, as many as you can export...it is almost a monopoly.

Well, hopefully just the card game. The ramifications of the resource rights are not lost on me, methinks most plunder I receive will be put to exploiting such, for even greater profits, so I can build more Churches in Sarenae's name. I did miss the two parcels though.