Stomach of Yeshgul

[werescythe]

Just a goofy spell idea I came up with that I thought I would share. This spell can be used by Wizards and Warlocks. I am considering adding it to either Sorcerer or maybe Druid, but I'm not too sure.

Stomach of Yeshgul
5th level Conjuration
Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (a vial of stomach acid)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

When you cast this spell and touch a creature, that creature must make a Charisma Saving Throw. If they succeed nothing happens, however if they fail the following effect applies:

At the start of the creature's turn you roll a D20 and if the result is 11 or higher, the creature disappears as it is teleported into the stomach of the cosmic entity Yeshgul and takes 4D8 Acid damage, before reappearing in the space it had left at the end of it's turn. If the space it would return to is occupied the creature appears in an unoccupied space within 5ft of it. If you rolled a 10 or lower, the creature is unaffected for this turn.
If the creature dies from the acid damage this spell inflicts, an acid soaked skeleton appears in its place, with all non-magical items that it possessed decayed and damaged.
This effect ends if you lose concentration or the duration of the spell ends.

At Higher Levels: When you cast this spell using a spell slot of 6th level or higher, the damage increases by 1D8 for each slot level above 5th.

Of course, constructive feedback is greatly appreciated. :smallsmile:

[rel]

It could be more tidy:

Stomach of Yeshgul

5th-level Conjuration

Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (a vial of stomach acid)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

The spell periodically teleports the target into the stomach of the cosmic entity Yeshgul.
You touch a creature, and that creature must succeed on a Charisma saving throw or become afflicted for the duration of the spell.
The afflicted creature disappears at the start of each of it's turns, then takes 4D8 acid damage, then reappears in the same location at the end of its turn.
At the end of each of its turns, the afflicted creature can make a Charisma saving throw. If it succeeds, this effect ends for that creature.

[MrStabby]

It could be more tidy:

Stomach of Yeshgul

5th-level Conjuration

Casting Time: 1 Action
Range: Touch
Components: V, S, M (a vial of stomach acid)
Duration: Concentration, up to 1 minute.

The spell periodically teleports the target into the stomach of the cosmic entity Yeshgul.
You touch a creature, and that creature must succeed on a Charisma saving throw or become afflicted for the duration of the spell.
The afflicted creature disappears at the start of each of it's turns, then takes 4D8 acid damage, then reappears in the same location at the end of its turn.
At the end of each of its turns, the afflicted creature can make a Charisma saving throw. If it succeeds, this effect ends for that creature.

Although this is neater, it is quite different to the original that required saves for the duration, even if one were passed. This write up ends the spell on a successful save.


As to the spell lists, I would say it should be Warlock only. It is about the most warlocky spell possible...

The charisma save makes sense as it is similar to banishment, but this might depend on fluff. If you ane conjuring a big mouth that tries to swallow an enemy, then a dex save maybe. If it is just a planeshift/teleport effect then charisma makes more sense.

[Kuulvheysoon]

So this is effectively a Charisma-save hold person that deals damage? Far as I can tell, the primary purposes of the spell are:

Remove the target's turn
Deal damage

They're only gone for their turn, so they're effectively incapacitated (with the fringe benefit of not ending spells they've cast that requires them to stay functional), with no actions (except their reaction, which they keep, but is partially balanced by not being able to counter with freedom of movement).

I believe that that's why rel suggested adding the save for the target at the end of their turns, to bring it more in line with banishment. Without that end-of-turn-save, this is effectively a save or die, which 5E tends to shy away from.

How does this affect spells like spirit guardians? Does the effect get temporarily removed during their turn?

Something else to consider when designing a spell is how it feels to be used against a PC. This immediately shuts down a PC unless the others focus fire on the spellcaster, which is the same as banishment, but that's the only way to shut this down. Which doesn't really feel nice, and completely removes player agency.

[sandmote]

Something else to consider when designing a spell is how it feels to be used against a PC. This immediately shuts down a PC unless the others focus fire on the spellcaster, which is the same as banishment, but that's the only way to shut this down. Which doesn't really feel nice, and completely removes player agency.I don't have strong feelings about this spell, but it does still let you ready your action each turn and use your reaction. So if your concern is the agency of someone targeted by the spell, this is a vast improvement over banishment.

[werescythe]

So after taking some feedback from my brother who is also a DM, I changed it so that instead of the creature repeating the Charisma save to try to stay in the plane, it functions kind of like blink where the player rolls a D20 (might change it so that the DM rolls the D20) and at a 11 or higher it is teleported.

[Arkanist]

I like this! I feel like the spell's text would benefit from the usual rote clarification about where the creature comes back to if the space they disappeared from is occupied. This is also me personally, but I would prefer the effect to blink them back at the start of their next turn rather than the end of the current one; I feel like if you're yeeting someone into the stomach of an extradimensional creature to be digested it'd feel far more yeet-y if they disappear for a round longer than a turn.

I definitely agree with the spell's placement in the Conjuration school. My only other suggestion is that it'd be cool if you add some text about how the creature's gear (but not its body) reappears if the acid damage kills it because Yeshgul digested it completely and there's nothing left.

[rel]

I don't have strong feelings about this spell, but it does still let you ready your action each turn and use your reaction. So if your concern is the agency of someone targeted by the spell, this is a vast improvement over banishment.

Readying actions is actually a good point, it should be stated explicitly.
Given that, I think I nerfed the spell too hard.