BerzerkerUnit
2021-08-14, 11:30 PM
I ran a one shot today. Here's the gist-
Players get sent to another world. They're level 3. A mysterious gnome explains he summoned them, there's a town to the south that's having problems, they need to go and help with those problems. "This world has no more heroes" he "hopes that by helping the people of the town they'll be inspired to pick up their swords and cut a path to a brighter future." <- literally the instructions. There was a rhyme about a golden horn and tyranny as the gnome left.
They travel to the town there's a brief fight with a deadly threat, not the kind of thing peasants or even nobles with spears could fight off.
They arrive at the edge of the town. There's no wall or fence. There's 1 Dragonborn guard in the police box outside the town. He asks for names and reason for visit. There's a lot of explaining. The PC Dragonborn Barbarian says his reason for visit is "I'm gonna beat your face in." The guard finishes taking names and notes on their purposes. They ask about trouble in town, he lists 3 people that need help with fairly mundane sounding problems and says he's not going to help those people, he's a resource if somebody steals something or tries to hurt you.
He tells them not to steal or fight with locals and things should be dandy but says he has a few more questions for the Barbarian. After party starts to leave he crashes out through door sword in hand and smashes the barbarian in the head then breathes lightning on him. Crit, decent roll on Breath, Barbarian is at 10hp, the rest of the party does nothing. Guard says "Who sent you!?!" Barbarian says he was "just inviting him to spar." They call it the guard's win and they all enter the town.
Town seems idyllic, they don't know what to do. I reiterate, "gnome said town had problems and to help with those problems. Guard listed 3 people with problems."
They see a young man get mocked, he throws a rock at the taunter and breaks a window, then flees. They investigate the shopowner whose window is broken. It's a haberdasher. Instead of asking about the rock, or the boy, or anything relevant, they ask about his hats. Sure, The hat makers hats were technological marvels of wondrous engineering, like a sombrero with an animatronic pinata stampede that ran around it and stabilizers so it never fell off your head and always landed right side up. They offend him by saying his hats were too complicated then send the greatly injured barbarian in to wreck up the joint. The hat makers hats were technological marvels of wondrous engineering. Haberdasher turns his hat into gun turret and almost kills barbarian. Haberdasher blows up his own store and fires into air while cussing like Yosemite Sam.
Cobbler is Haberdasher's brother, comes out and starts to bicker. PC overhears argument, Cobbler is in trouble with town for being too concerned with wealth. No one follows up.
They go to local Inn, the rogue tries to steal booze but is stopped by a Dragonborn hostess. Butcher arrives with greasy sack of meat and heads to kitchen where it's made clear no one else is welcome. Bard follows him into kitchen while Rogue considers fighting hostess. To avoid fight Bard leaves not only kitchen but whole Inn. Rogue opts to pay for drink at bar.
Outside Bard and sorcerer see baker struggling up street with heavy cake trays. They offer to help. He is filled with gratitude, gives them free cake and they see everyone in the Inn is ecstatic to partake of free cakes. They spend 10 minutes deciding if they will also eat cakes everyone is eating and seems to love. They overhear Baker is trying to curry favor with townsfolk to make up for what his daughter did.
Hostess gossips about Butcher's wife's affair and how the whole thing blew up bc baker's daughter blabbed.
Party thinks Butcher murdered his wife and is feeding the town's folk her meat. They investigate the home and find wife is fine. They think maybe butcher murdered her lover, but she saw him just that day.
"Well, it seems like these are just some personal problems, I don't know what we should do here..."
Let's review:
- Gnome says town is having problems and they should go help with those problems.
- Guard lists 3 people having problems and says he, the guard, isn't going to help those people.
- I, the DM, have spent nearly two hours trying to find ways to put these people and stories in their path.
No one investigates, asks questions, or tries to talk to any of the PCs named as needing help.
Every one of these problems is centered around a 10 year old girl telling the townsfolk about someone's personal business. Why does a 10 year old girl know the cobbler is overcharging for his ****e shoes? Why does she know who the butcher's wife is boffing? How does she know the teenager who lives 3 miles outside of town is fapping like there's no tomorrow since his parents are on a trip and he's home alone?
What should you do? WHAT SHOULD YOU DO!? I don't know, go try and help those people. Forge letters of apology, invite them both to the same place at the same time and force a dialogue for reconciliations. Maybe investigate the creepy little girl who knows everyone's business?
Finally settle on talking to baker and creepy daughter. After some investigation it's very clear an Imp is whispering to her, trying to make her wield truth like a blunt object, shattering relationships in the town. I also spend almost a full minute talking about this Unicorn drawing the girl did, like she's actually seen a unicorn.
The Imp's presence gets some traction, they don't even ask the girl about the drawing.
"Why is this girl a target of devils?" Father explains he had tricked Asmodeus into a bad deal that protected him. When he had a family the King of Hell came after them.
This town is filled with heroes, legendary artisans, and more. But they're all retired from adventuring and moving the world and revolutionizing industries. They live for mundane peaceful lives but have become indolent and selfish. He had hoped that by retiring there, putting down roots and establishing strong relationships the people might help protect him, just as his legendary alchemical concoctions made his bread cure diseases etc. But alas, very few were willing to take risks for others. They'd grown old and private in their retirement from adventuring and now the Baker's only recourse was to escape. He couldn't teach his daughter to protect herself. She could not perform the alchemical equations necessary for his craft, he needed a mentor capable of drawing out the martial talents she'd inherited from her mother.
"Ah, that's too bad, good luck!"
Even though the Bard watched the entire Inn wait staff, shirtless or sleeves rolled up, all looking like tightly packed bags of rope, perform supernatural acrobatics while they cleaned the tavern and then bow to the hostess when they were done. Yep, no one in town capable of tutoring a talented girl into fighting form...
Like, I get you show up for a one shot and expect maybe a few dungeon rooms, and I get that maybe helping people with difficult personal problems might not seem like a really tough thing. But I use chekov's gun rules man. If I'm talking about it, then it matters. If you follow up on anything I talk about in narration, there will be a story for it. They just kept acting like there was nothing to do. And if they wanted fights, the Barbarian picked 2 and they left his butt hang out to dry both times.
When it seemed like everyone was just looking for something to do I even threw in "In the town square a train of cats is walking around the fountain nose to tail. Their steps become more rhythmic and the tempo increases until it's clear they're dancing. The dance becomes more elaborate and acrobatic until one cat finally loses its balance and falls in the fountain, the rest immediately start acting like normal cats, licking themselves, sitting, or flopping over on their sides."
"We'll just walk right by that..."
If all they'd done was just go to 3 people having problems and say "wha' happuh", they would have heard about the girl (20 minutes). Then go to the little girl and say "wha' happuh" they would found out about the imp (10 minutes). They'd set up an ambush for the Imp, the Unicorn would have shown up instead, the Imp would sting it, corrupting it into a Nightmare, they would have fought it and had the option of killing it or risking letting it escape but give the girl the chance to cleanse it with the purity of her heart which is another reason the Imp was trying to corrupt her (figure prep, RP, and combat, ~1 hour). Epilogue (20-30 minutes). This should have been a breezy 3 hour game.
4 1/2 hours of game and it just felt like the players were waiting for me to spoon feed them the story and I swear I felt like that's what I was doing. Like everything short of creating a document and sharing it, saying "OK, here's a story point, I've already added it to the outline..."
On the upside, I got to do some classic silly voices from the Italian but not Tartavotti, to the Vinnie Jones of Paxon the Dragonborn guard.
And I say "legendary heroes" for the town's folk but really they were ~level 5. 1v1 they'd seem like terrors, but vs a party of 4 lvl 3s, they'd get stomped so hard, and only one of them was every fully prepared for a fight. Just so frustrated.
But it happens, sometimes people just aren't going to pick up what you put down. Better luck next time.
Players get sent to another world. They're level 3. A mysterious gnome explains he summoned them, there's a town to the south that's having problems, they need to go and help with those problems. "This world has no more heroes" he "hopes that by helping the people of the town they'll be inspired to pick up their swords and cut a path to a brighter future." <- literally the instructions. There was a rhyme about a golden horn and tyranny as the gnome left.
They travel to the town there's a brief fight with a deadly threat, not the kind of thing peasants or even nobles with spears could fight off.
They arrive at the edge of the town. There's no wall or fence. There's 1 Dragonborn guard in the police box outside the town. He asks for names and reason for visit. There's a lot of explaining. The PC Dragonborn Barbarian says his reason for visit is "I'm gonna beat your face in." The guard finishes taking names and notes on their purposes. They ask about trouble in town, he lists 3 people that need help with fairly mundane sounding problems and says he's not going to help those people, he's a resource if somebody steals something or tries to hurt you.
He tells them not to steal or fight with locals and things should be dandy but says he has a few more questions for the Barbarian. After party starts to leave he crashes out through door sword in hand and smashes the barbarian in the head then breathes lightning on him. Crit, decent roll on Breath, Barbarian is at 10hp, the rest of the party does nothing. Guard says "Who sent you!?!" Barbarian says he was "just inviting him to spar." They call it the guard's win and they all enter the town.
Town seems idyllic, they don't know what to do. I reiterate, "gnome said town had problems and to help with those problems. Guard listed 3 people with problems."
They see a young man get mocked, he throws a rock at the taunter and breaks a window, then flees. They investigate the shopowner whose window is broken. It's a haberdasher. Instead of asking about the rock, or the boy, or anything relevant, they ask about his hats. Sure, The hat makers hats were technological marvels of wondrous engineering, like a sombrero with an animatronic pinata stampede that ran around it and stabilizers so it never fell off your head and always landed right side up. They offend him by saying his hats were too complicated then send the greatly injured barbarian in to wreck up the joint. The hat makers hats were technological marvels of wondrous engineering. Haberdasher turns his hat into gun turret and almost kills barbarian. Haberdasher blows up his own store and fires into air while cussing like Yosemite Sam.
Cobbler is Haberdasher's brother, comes out and starts to bicker. PC overhears argument, Cobbler is in trouble with town for being too concerned with wealth. No one follows up.
They go to local Inn, the rogue tries to steal booze but is stopped by a Dragonborn hostess. Butcher arrives with greasy sack of meat and heads to kitchen where it's made clear no one else is welcome. Bard follows him into kitchen while Rogue considers fighting hostess. To avoid fight Bard leaves not only kitchen but whole Inn. Rogue opts to pay for drink at bar.
Outside Bard and sorcerer see baker struggling up street with heavy cake trays. They offer to help. He is filled with gratitude, gives them free cake and they see everyone in the Inn is ecstatic to partake of free cakes. They spend 10 minutes deciding if they will also eat cakes everyone is eating and seems to love. They overhear Baker is trying to curry favor with townsfolk to make up for what his daughter did.
Hostess gossips about Butcher's wife's affair and how the whole thing blew up bc baker's daughter blabbed.
Party thinks Butcher murdered his wife and is feeding the town's folk her meat. They investigate the home and find wife is fine. They think maybe butcher murdered her lover, but she saw him just that day.
"Well, it seems like these are just some personal problems, I don't know what we should do here..."
Let's review:
- Gnome says town is having problems and they should go help with those problems.
- Guard lists 3 people having problems and says he, the guard, isn't going to help those people.
- I, the DM, have spent nearly two hours trying to find ways to put these people and stories in their path.
No one investigates, asks questions, or tries to talk to any of the PCs named as needing help.
Every one of these problems is centered around a 10 year old girl telling the townsfolk about someone's personal business. Why does a 10 year old girl know the cobbler is overcharging for his ****e shoes? Why does she know who the butcher's wife is boffing? How does she know the teenager who lives 3 miles outside of town is fapping like there's no tomorrow since his parents are on a trip and he's home alone?
What should you do? WHAT SHOULD YOU DO!? I don't know, go try and help those people. Forge letters of apology, invite them both to the same place at the same time and force a dialogue for reconciliations. Maybe investigate the creepy little girl who knows everyone's business?
Finally settle on talking to baker and creepy daughter. After some investigation it's very clear an Imp is whispering to her, trying to make her wield truth like a blunt object, shattering relationships in the town. I also spend almost a full minute talking about this Unicorn drawing the girl did, like she's actually seen a unicorn.
The Imp's presence gets some traction, they don't even ask the girl about the drawing.
"Why is this girl a target of devils?" Father explains he had tricked Asmodeus into a bad deal that protected him. When he had a family the King of Hell came after them.
This town is filled with heroes, legendary artisans, and more. But they're all retired from adventuring and moving the world and revolutionizing industries. They live for mundane peaceful lives but have become indolent and selfish. He had hoped that by retiring there, putting down roots and establishing strong relationships the people might help protect him, just as his legendary alchemical concoctions made his bread cure diseases etc. But alas, very few were willing to take risks for others. They'd grown old and private in their retirement from adventuring and now the Baker's only recourse was to escape. He couldn't teach his daughter to protect herself. She could not perform the alchemical equations necessary for his craft, he needed a mentor capable of drawing out the martial talents she'd inherited from her mother.
"Ah, that's too bad, good luck!"
Even though the Bard watched the entire Inn wait staff, shirtless or sleeves rolled up, all looking like tightly packed bags of rope, perform supernatural acrobatics while they cleaned the tavern and then bow to the hostess when they were done. Yep, no one in town capable of tutoring a talented girl into fighting form...
Like, I get you show up for a one shot and expect maybe a few dungeon rooms, and I get that maybe helping people with difficult personal problems might not seem like a really tough thing. But I use chekov's gun rules man. If I'm talking about it, then it matters. If you follow up on anything I talk about in narration, there will be a story for it. They just kept acting like there was nothing to do. And if they wanted fights, the Barbarian picked 2 and they left his butt hang out to dry both times.
When it seemed like everyone was just looking for something to do I even threw in "In the town square a train of cats is walking around the fountain nose to tail. Their steps become more rhythmic and the tempo increases until it's clear they're dancing. The dance becomes more elaborate and acrobatic until one cat finally loses its balance and falls in the fountain, the rest immediately start acting like normal cats, licking themselves, sitting, or flopping over on their sides."
"We'll just walk right by that..."
If all they'd done was just go to 3 people having problems and say "wha' happuh", they would have heard about the girl (20 minutes). Then go to the little girl and say "wha' happuh" they would found out about the imp (10 minutes). They'd set up an ambush for the Imp, the Unicorn would have shown up instead, the Imp would sting it, corrupting it into a Nightmare, they would have fought it and had the option of killing it or risking letting it escape but give the girl the chance to cleanse it with the purity of her heart which is another reason the Imp was trying to corrupt her (figure prep, RP, and combat, ~1 hour). Epilogue (20-30 minutes). This should have been a breezy 3 hour game.
4 1/2 hours of game and it just felt like the players were waiting for me to spoon feed them the story and I swear I felt like that's what I was doing. Like everything short of creating a document and sharing it, saying "OK, here's a story point, I've already added it to the outline..."
On the upside, I got to do some classic silly voices from the Italian but not Tartavotti, to the Vinnie Jones of Paxon the Dragonborn guard.
And I say "legendary heroes" for the town's folk but really they were ~level 5. 1v1 they'd seem like terrors, but vs a party of 4 lvl 3s, they'd get stomped so hard, and only one of them was every fully prepared for a fight. Just so frustrated.
But it happens, sometimes people just aren't going to pick up what you put down. Better luck next time.