Poem in the playground

[Stormthorn]

Well, im putting one of my poems on the site.

Let me warn you that most my poems are written for content over form, and most are written for me and a select few close persons. Although i have written for people crazy enough to pay me before.

This poem isnt officialy named, and i simply call it Folly. If i get enough feedback, i might put my other junk o the site as well.

One last note, this poem is really written about me, about stuff im really going through.


Some would call me mad
And I think they speak true
For is it not a madness
To love one who can’t love you?

My sins are greed and lust
For I fall for flesh and mind
Coveting a body already marked
“This girl is only mine”

Sometimes I plot his downfall
This loathsome other boy
But he makes that girl we love happy
And I could never destroy her joy

And she may return my love
But not nearly so strongly
She already gave him everything
So what could she give to me?

And those that call me mad
This is what makes them right
I know never may I have her
But forever will I fight

So call me Don Quixote
Off to tilt with mills
Or Icarus into the sun
Though its deadly fire kills

One day it will kill
This choking cutting rope
All made out of longing
Barbed with fruitless hope

[thubby]

in the 5th stanza?, paragraph, what ever its called, (i like poetry but never learned the technical stuff). i would make "I will" into "will I". just flows better to me.
i like it, really great work.

[Stormthorn]

Stanza...thats a funny word. I only know bits and pieces of technical stuff.

Your right, and its odd that it wasnt like that already, since i tend to talk that way form time to time.

[hyperfreak497]

I think this might belong better in Arts 'n' Crafts...

Either way, I like the poem (although I'm hardly an afficiendo). I probably like it better 'cause I'm pretty sure I know the story behind it. The only thing I don't get is the Don Quixote reference. Would you be so kind as to enlighten me?

[CrazedGoblin]

nice poem, definatly has the right feel to it

[Stormthorn]

The only thing I don't get is the Don Quixote reference. Would you be so kind as to enlighten me?

He was a crazy old geezer who thought he was a knight and at one point he attempted to tilt (joust) with a windmill thinking it was a giant. His squire was telling him it was a windmill but he was absolutly sure it was a giant and he was going to kill it.

Im crazy and trying to do something sure to fail on the hope that the situation is different than it at first appears, because if im right im just very very likely to fail, rather than destined.

Oh, and if i post any others (other poems), i will put them in the arts and crafts. This is more of an expirement and a way to creativly tell people about my problems.