Wild (silly) Theory to share

[SkepticalSquid]

(Please note, most of this speculation is not serious, I am aware that this is a very silly idea)

I recently bought physical copies of all the OotS books as a gift to myself (except for the ones that we sold out...) and was taking the time to do a intense reread, when I noticed something that caught my eye in Rich Burlew's commentary in Dungeon Crawlin' Fools right before strip 85. He said that, in the future, the comic would reveal more about Roy's sibling, Haley's father, and Vaarsuvius' family.

This may be just because of my bias due to V being my favorite character, but I feel like we have learned a lot more about Roy's siblings (with the storyline where Roy was in the afterlife and the times Julia has appeared) and Haley's father (her letter from him, and then his part in Blood Runs in the Family than we have about Vaarsuvius' family. It made me wonder how, with just one book left in the story, how the plot could somehow involve learning more about Vaarsuvius' family than simply the fact that 1) V has a family and 2) now they are divorced.

I realize that what is likely is that Rich Burlew made this comment in 2005, and now it's 2021 and his plans for what all the story will include changed over time. However, it's more fun to think about what could happen next, so I came up with this theory:

In commentary for book 6, Rich Burlew has said that a character that has appeared in exactly one (1) page of the story will become an important ally in the first half of the last book. What if, rather than Sunny being the [redacted] from strip 32, this important ally is the Fruit Pie Sorcerer, who appeared in Strip 91? Fruit Pie Sorcerer has been able to defeat many foes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Advertising/HostessFruitPies) in the past, after all. While the Sorcerer died gruesomely at the end of page 91, Inkyrius is an apprentice baker. They have the skills to revive Fruit Pie Sorcerer stronger, even more powerful than before. I predict that any day now, my obviously air-tight prediction will come true.

Does anyone else have some fun theories they would like to share? Serious speculation is fun, but it's also nice to joke around.

[Squire Doodad]

I would argue the ABD arc, coupled with the divorce proceedings wizard, covers V's family well enough

I, for one, welcome Fruit Pie Sorcerer to the Order of the Stick.

[Manga Shoggoth]

Alas, Inkyrius is an apprentice baker. I doubt that they will have the power or the ability to revive Fruit Pie Sorcerer, let alone make him stronger. You no doubt need to be a master baker to do that sort of thing, and even then I've only seen it done with gingerbread.

However, they might - with the help their master - be able to cook up a new Fruit Pie. But then, as any reader of Girl Genius knows, it becomes a matter of confidence in the created product. Will the master do this with dilligently, or do a half-baked job. Even then will the creature agree to serve its function, or will it go out and start a rampage across the country, destroying everything in its reach.

It's all a matter of crust.

[brian 333]

I don't think Fruit Pie the Sorcerer has the juice to take on Xykon. It's a sweet idea, but I think it would end in a sticky mess.

Besides, we all know the long forshadowed ally is going to be Jimminy the Pole Arms Shopkeeper. At the point of his long awaited return we will realize the comic has always been a Monty Python homage, and in the end Xykon will be defeated by an African swallow which drops a too-heavy coconut as it migrates to the Arctic.

[Hurkyl]

I don't think Fruit Pie the Sorcerer has the juice to take on Xykon. It's a sweet idea, but I think it would end in a sticky mess.

Besides, we all know the long forshadowed ally is going to be Jimminy the Pole Arms Shopkeeper. At the point of his long awaited return we will realize the comic has always been a Monty Python homage, and in the end Xykon will be defeated by an African swallow which drops a too-heavy coconut as it migrates to the Arctic.
As long as it's not a Blancmange.

[KorvinStarmast]

It's all a matter of crust. He(sorcerer) was a bit of a flake.

[ti'esar]

I realize this is mostly meant as a joke, but for the record, I'm pretty sure that V's family existing was something of a major reveal at the time. (https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0223.html)

[skim172]

As I've speculated before, Fruit Pie Sorcerer is likely a survivor from the previous Movie Snack Reality - and thus, we must ask how he survived. Is he a godling who survived in secret between worlds? Or perhaps, did he sacrifice his other fellow gods of his refreshing pantheon as part of a hideous perverted ritual to gain their power and thus save himself?

Or - did he make a bargain with the Snarl, to deliver his world to the Snarl's destruction so that he alone would survive its downfall? Is he now acting as the Snarl's dark herald - working to open the gates and allow the eldritch horror through into this universe? What flavor is his Fruit Pie filling? Is it perhaps ... the flavor of doom?

[ziproot]

The only other world we have seen about is the movie snack one. The only other world we have seen is the one in the rift. Clearly, Fruit Pie the Sorcerer is from the world in the rift, which is the movie snack world.
EDIT: Also, Elan seems to know about Fruit Pie the Sorcerer (https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0091.html). He may be smarter than we thought...

[skim172]

The only other world we have seen about is the movie snack one. The only other world we have seen is the one in the rift. Clearly, Fruit Pie the Sorcerer is from the world in the rift, which is the movie snack world.
EDIT: Also, Elan seems to know about Fruit Pie the Sorcerer (https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0091.html). He may be smarter than we thought...

Because Elan has been working with Fruit Pie the Sorcerer, obviously. He destroyed one gate personally and was heavily involved when two other gates were destroyed. He's an agent of the Snarl, covertly acting to open the rifts. If it wasn't for the heroic actions of Goblin #91, recognizing Fruit Pie's evil intent and slaying him afore he could enact his dark schemes, then this world would've been destroyed already.

And I think we all swallowed the story about Elan being a "twin" a bit too easily - he's actually a doppelganger, who copied Nale's appearance upon entrance into the Stick-world.

That's the danger with twins. You never know if one of the "twins" is actually a face-stealing shapeshifter from the Un-Dimension, brought here to help summon an eldritch entity into our reality. This is why all pairs of twins should be abandoned on the banks of the River Tiber to be found and raised by a she-wolf.

[ziproot]

Because Elan has been working with Fruit Pie the Sorcerer, obviously. He destroyed one gate personally and was heavily involved when two other gates were destroyed. He's an agent of the Snarl, covertly acting to open the rifts. If it wasn't for the heroic actions of Goblin #91, recognizing Fruit Pie's evil intent and slaying him afore he could enact his dark schemes, then this world would've been destroyed already.

And I think we all swallowed the story about Elan being a "twin" a bit too easily - he's actually a doppelganger, who copied Nale's appearance upon entrance into the Stick-world.

That's the danger with twins. You never know if one of the "twins" is actually a face-stealing shapeshifter from the Un-Dimension, brought here to help summon an eldritch entity into our reality. This is why all pairs of twins should be abandoned on the banks of the River Tiber to be found and raised by a she-wolf.

Oh, so that's why the world in the rift is still in tact. That was part of the deal made with the snarl.

[Ruck]

Besides, we all know the long forshadowed ally is going to be Jimminy the Pole Arms Shopkeeper. At the point of his long awaited return we will realize the comic has always been a Monty Python homage, and in the end Xykon will be defeated by an African swallow which drops a too-heavy coconut as it migrates to the Arctic.

You had me until the end, but I think Scotland Yard is going to arrest Xykon.

[Peelee]

Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I don't know what kind of janky movie theaters y'all go to, but I ain't never seen no fruit pies being sold in one.

[ziproot]

Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I don't know what kind of janky movie theaters y'all go to, but I ain't never seen no fruit pies being sold in one.

Explains why Fruit Pie the Sorcerer is so evil.

PS: Based on the reviews (https://www.amazon.com/Hostess-Fruit-Apple-Ounce-Count/dp/B072R6793X), I think Fruit Pie the Sorcerer's evilness is pretty much confirmed.

[Peelee]

Explains why Fruit Pie the Sorcerer is so evil.

PS: Based on the reviews (https://www.amazon.com/Hostess-Fruit-Apple-Ounce-Count/dp/B072R6793X), I think Fruit Pie the Sorcerer's evilness is pretty much confirmed.

Dont tell Bobby Hill.

[Emanick]

Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I don't know what kind of janky movie theaters y'all go to, but I ain't never seen no fruit pies being sold in one.

I feel like I have actually seen fruit pies sold in at least one theater. I do not encourage such behavior, but I fear that it does indeed occur.

[Ruck]

Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. I don't know what kind of janky movie theaters y'all go to, but I ain't never seen no fruit pies being sold in one.

Based on the timing of the comic book ads (http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm), I'm guessing maybe the late 70s and early 80s were just a different time.

[littlebum2002]

I don't think Fruit Pie the Sorcerer has the juice to take on Xykon. It's a sweet idea, but I think it would end in a sticky mess.

Besides, we all know the long forshadowed ally is going to be Jimminy the Pole Arms Shopkeeper. At the point of his long awaited return we will realize the comic has always been a Monty Python homage, and in the end Xykon will be defeated by an African swallow which drops a too-heavy coconut as it migrates to the Arctic.

Good theory, but Jimmy was in 2 strips, remember?

https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0942.html

[Peelee]

Based on the timing of the comic book ads (http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm), I'm guessing maybe the late 70s and early 80s were just a different time.

You're telling me!

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/523703886125727774/890749320037548092/1632441582427.webp

[skim172]

You're telling me!

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/523703886125727774/890749320037548092/1632441582427.webp

https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/3/6/310836.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/0/310850.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/8/310858.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/4/2/310842.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/7/4/671974.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/9/5/671995.jpghttps://assets.bonappetit.com/photos/57e0834c9f19b4610e6b729b/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/undefinedhttps://i0.wp.com/www.greenstardesign.com/blog/pineapple.jpg



Here's fun: What do you think would be the ingredients for that last pineapple-themed dish, the one shaped like a pineapple? The answer might surprise you.

Unless you guessed "liver sausage, mayo, jello, and Worcestershire sauce", in which case you are clearly deranged.

[Ruck]

You're telling me!

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/523703886125727774/890749320037548092/1632441582427.webp

That's from the 70s? Looks more like late 40s / early 50s to me.

Which, in fairness to the people of the time, from what I've read I gather these recipes were not so much things people liked to eat but more a way to show off what you could do with this newfangled refrigeration technology. (What you can do, apparently, is put all your normal food in Jell-O.)

[Hurkyl]

Gelatin used to be a dessert for rich people, if I understand correctly. So it had a lot of prestige when they figured out how to make affordable gelatin for everybody, and it took a while for it to wear off.

[Mariele]

Gelatin used to be a dessert for rich people, if I understand correctly. So it had a lot of prestige when they figured out how to make affordable gelatin for everybody, and it took a while for it to wear off.

Yep! And, they weren't as messy to eat so they were more party appropriate and they were easier to present "artistically"... a much bigger deal when you were the household help (as opposed to just a few decades ago) and you were still expected to throw fancy dinner parties. Horrendous gelatin meals really were a 1950s-70s thing. It was the 1920s-40s that went crazy with refrigeration shenanigans (with the appliance companies often giving cookbooks with the purchase of a fridge). Canned food was a hit from pretty much the '20s on, so naturally, it had to be incorporated into gelatin salads as well.

And remember: it's not a salad unless it's on a leaf of lettuce and topped with mayonnaise.

Source: this is a very specific interest of mine and I've spent far too much of my life energy studying it.

[Robots]

https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/3/6/310836.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/0/310850.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/8/310858.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/4/2/310842.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/7/4/671974.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/9/5/671995.jpghttps://assets.bonappetit.com/photos/57e0834c9f19b4610e6b729b/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/undefinedhttps://i0.wp.com/www.greenstardesign.com/blog/pineapple.jpg



Here's fun: What do you think would be the ingredients for that last pineapple-themed dish, the one shaped like a pineapple? The answer might surprise you.

Unless you guessed "liver sausage, mayo, jello, and Worcestershire sauce", in which case you are clearly deranged.

oh what sweet fresh hell is this

[DaOldeWolf]

https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/3/6/310836.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/0/310850.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/5/8/310858.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/quickfix/8/4/2/310842.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/7/4/671974.jpghttps://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/9/9/5/671995.jpghttps://assets.bonappetit.com/photos/57e0834c9f19b4610e6b729b/master/w_1600%2Cc_limit/undefinedhttps://i0.wp.com/www.greenstardesign.com/blog/pineapple.jpg



Here's fun: What do you think would be the ingredients for that last pineapple-themed dish, the one shaped like a pineapple? The answer might surprise you.

Unless you guessed "liver sausage, mayo, jello, and Worcestershire sauce", in which case you are clearly deranged.

Well, now I know how chaotic evil food looks like. And I am not interested in tasting it. Elan was right. Evil food is yucky.

[SkepticalSquid]

Well, now I know how chaotic evil food looks like. And I am not interested in tasting it. Elan was right. Evil food is yucky.

At least those look like they're filled with stuff like olives, cranberries, bananas, and etc, and not phoenix pâté or pegasus flank. And it's American food from the 70s, so I doubt there are too many spices to worry about the alignment of.


Here's fun: What do you think would be the ingredients for that last pineapple-themed dish, the one shaped like a pineapple? The answer might surprise you.

To me, it looks like it's covered in a layer of Kraft singles or similar cheese to give it that orange-yellow color and texture.... whatever it is, it doesn't look appetizing to me.

[skim172]

To me, it looks like it's covered in a layer of Kraft singles or similar cheese to give it that orange-yellow color and texture.... whatever it is, it doesn't look appetizing to me.

An excellent guess.

But wrong (https://craigpayst.com/the-worst-recipe-i-ever-met/).

The color comes from mayonaise mixed with gelatin.

[Peelee]

If you're not mixing mayonaise and gelatin, then what are you even doing with your life?

[KorvinStarmast]

{unfair throwing of shade} I think you'll be surprised at how tasty the banana/ham/hollandaise can be. Yes, my aunt once made those for a pot luck. I had two. I'd have had three if mom hadn't given me the "that's enough of for you, young man!" - late 60's. :smallcool:

As to Jello Molds: I sometimes still wake up screaming. They lurk in my nightmares, generating a sense of terror that not even an old school D&D green slime can evoke. :smalleek:

[DaOldeWolf]

At least those look like they're filled with stuff like olives, cranberries, bananas, and etc, and not phoenix pâté or pegasus flank. And it's American food from the 70s, so I doubt there are too many spices to worry about the alignment of.


Kinda makes me wonder what kind of food the Neutral Evil would serve at their table.

[Emanick]

Kinda makes me wonder what kind of food the Neutral Evil would serve at their table.

Just the lowest quality, most basic, sickening food you could possibly imagine. Maggot-infested ship biscuits come to mind. Maybe the worst-quality spam in existence.

[Ruck]

I think you'll be surprised at how tasty the banana/ham/hollandaise can be.

I absolutely would be.

[KorvinStarmast]

I absolutely would be. To put my taste buds in perspective:
1. I also like using spam as a breakfast meat (thin sliced, pan fried, bacon substitute) and
2. I learned to enjoy spam sandwiches (uncooked spam, sliced out of the can) with dill pickles, and mustard an onions when I was a kid. (My Dad developed a taste for spam either in the Army, or during the Great Depression, or both).
3. I still like spam, but my wife will not allow me to stock our cupboard with it. :smallfrown:
4. I barely get away with keeping a few cans of kipper snacks around for when I need some kippers.

I only get to enjoy Spam and Eggs when the missus is out of town and I am allowed full freedom to create epicure delights.

[dmc91356]

epicure delights.

I do not think this word means what you think it means.

[KorvinStarmast]

I do not think this word means what you think it means. It most surely does, and you ain't live until you've had my hard times stew.

Just sayin'

[brian 333]

Neutral Evil food is all the stuff they make on the cooking competition shows, but you have to watch some pretentious fat slob gulp it down while complaining about the ratio of bitters to sweets. And you don't get to taste or smell it. You have to starve while you watch the judge eat.

Lawful Evil is MREs. But not just any old MREs: you have to have low sodium vegetarian pasta for every meal. Forever.

[KorvinStarmast]

Lawful Evil is MREs. But not just any old MREs: you have to have low sodium vegetarian pasta for every meal. Forever. heh, there is truth in these words. Nourishment? Yes. Fuel? Yes. Need to drink a gallon of water per meal? yeah.

[Manga Shoggoth]

I only get to enjoy Spam and Eggs when the missus is out of town and I am allowed full freedom to create epicure delights.


I do not think this word means what you think it means.


You would be surprised (https://www.epicure.co.uk/create)... (I mean, Cinnamon Prune Porridge???)

(Still, the pedant in me requires me to point out that Korvin meant "epicurean", and I mostly remember Epicure the company for its piccalilli, which, incidentally, I hated.)

[KorvinStarmast]

(Still, the pedant in me requires me to point out that Korvin meant "epicurean", You are correct, I didn't check up on the word-smithing the way that I sometimes do.