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View Full Version : Another book concept, Please take a look and rate it (Summery complete:D)



Moral Wiz
2007-11-19, 07:45 AM
"It has been thought that paranormal phenomenon, "Magic" if you like, would enter the world in an explosion, mass outbreaks, being weilded by thousands, beyond the ability of any existing authority to control. It was imagined that it would lead to a new age, governments collapsing, new authorities forming.

Well, it has not done that. We are still watching the same dance, listining to the all too familiar music. Only the tempo has changed. The singer may use different words, may even change the lyrics of the whole song, but the tune... that has yet to vary."

The Prime Minister of England; 3rd meeting of COBRA after the "event".

Magic entered our world on July 21st, 2009; at aproximatly 5:13 in the afternoon (That is the time of the first known manifestation, under current reconing.)

At this time, certian members of that varied group known as humanity were gifted with power. How this happened? A total unknown (Dispite the efforts of a myriad number of American "Inital Agencies" on the matter). There was no common factor between those chosen, nor in any subsector of the supernatural weilders. Hell, some of them didn't even realise what had happened to them. There were very few, about 1 - 500,000. Their existance never came into the public eye (there were so few of them; and the world's governments has some experiance in manipulating the media.) But they would have a notable effect on history.

The government of Britan was one of the first to discover it. To be precise, it was British troops in Iraq, who had the misfortune to run up against an insurgent didn't need a bomb to spread flame and death. It was hard, but he was captured.His interegation, and the subsequent findings, caused the British PM to declair a meeting of the emergancy committie COBRA.

A lot was discussed in that room.Such matters as "Do other countries know about this?" "Is this a major threat?" "How can we profit?" "How can we conceal somthing like this from the public" And every other question a worried authority asks itself.

Even more was discussed three weaks later, in the same room, with the addition of one unfortunate civil servent, who seemed to demonstrate powers similar to the ones showing up in reports everywhere. That poor man was given the enviable task of forming the new agiency, known informally amoungst those who formed COBRA's body as AI 7, designed as the governments authority on all matters relating to the supernatural. (It didn't stand for anything. Did it need to?)

That man, who before was happy in a middle management job, low in government, was placed at the head of an orginization with cutting edge military technology, and the ability to request assistance from MI 5, MI 6, Even the army.

Only a government official would believe that someone could cope with that comming out of a clear blue sky. By the next morning, the poor beauracrat had already done the most normal thing possible; indulge in a very large drinking binge and pretend nothing ever happened. That lasted well, untill mid-day the next day, when he was "reminded".

The poor man accepted the job. What choice did he have? He now refers to himself as John Timpson, and has the enviable duty of trying to find and recruit the "Innane", and to compile a comprehensive information on everything that happened since July 21st. Oh, and any screw ups, and his life is first thing to go.

At the same time, another group was forming. This group however, formed rather differently. They were even listed on the stock exchange as "Wholesale suppliers of militry grade+ equipment" They were called Warysia International

The founder of Warysia, Keo Brown, had no magical powers whatso ever. But he knew about their existance all too well. His sister was an "Innane" and had died because of it. The sin of a so called "christian" street gang, who bellieved her unholy. Brown never agreed though. He, and others he found, some supernatural, some not, founded Warysia, the first supernatural company, dedicated to investigation, and utilisation of "magic". He sold his holdings in the company in return for a seat as CEO, the better to oversee their opperations.

Warysia's techs found out a little more interesting infomation quickly. It was not just the few people so far discovered who could command this power. Many of those who could not draw on this "magic" directly could command it "indirectly". Not through simple thought, but through concentration and focus upon a perticular goal. In any indervidual case, such methords would not beat an "Innane" Weilder. But they can acchieve lasting effects more easily, and potential "Indirect"s are far more common. (Comparitivly speaking. About 1- 5000)

Naturally, the corperation set it's sights on hireing as much "Indirecdt" Tallent as it could. What did it have in mind? A question only Keo and the board could tell you.

The book itself would follow AI7 .

Is this better for understanding my idea?

SnowballMan
2007-11-19, 09:06 AM
*scratches head*
um...
*scratches head again*
er... well now... hmm...

Seriously, I really think you need way more detail before you can get any useful input. But just to clarify, magic enters the world and does not drastically affect society? Sort of the embodiment of the cliche "the more things change, the more things stay the same?"

Moral Wiz
2007-11-19, 11:13 AM
The summery is FAR from complete. I thought I had far more time back there to write than I had. I'll see to it now.

And yeah. Nothing dramaticly changes, simply because magic is not that common. About 1 person in 500,000 is supernatureal. ( A few more have some power, but it's not the same, one of the things missed from the summery. I'll go into depth there.) . And that's before natural seletion comes in. That's not really enough to effect the end of the world, or massive catyclism. It's a new element to an existing thing, it may change it slightly, but it will remain the same.

I'll finish off the summery now. Bare with me, this may take a while. I'll post again when it's complete.

TheRiov
2007-11-19, 11:52 AM
little too shadowrunny for my tastes.

yoshi927
2007-11-19, 12:17 PM
Sounds cool. The magic system needs to be more defined. A few ideas to toss out there: What are various governments' reactions to magic? Perhaps some are genociding magicians? Some try to hoard knowledge of its workings and use it as a military power? Some simply disbelieve it altogether, viewing it as an affair of smoke and mirrors? How do the magicians react to this?

Moral Wiz
2007-11-19, 12:22 PM
little too shadowrunny for my tastes.

Interesting. Especially as I was aiming for the exact opposite of Shadowrun when I wrote it..:smallamused:

Seriously, how's it like SR? (beyond the whole "modern magic" thing) The awakening did, more or less, everything the PM said. Put power into the hands of a lot more than 1-500,000 people, changed nations, led to a new world. July 21st didn't. The awakening became known at once, created loads of new creaturs, and basicly changed the world to be nothing like what it was before. July 21st resulted in a few people becoming. able to weild power. That's more or less it.

Moral Wiz
2007-11-19, 12:34 PM
Sounds cool. The magic system needs to be more defined. A few ideas to toss out there: What are various governments' reactions to magic? Perhaps some are genociding magicians? Some try to hoard knowledge of its workings and use it as a military power? Some simply disbelieve it altogether, viewing it as an affair of smoke and mirrors? How do the magicians react to this?

Yay! Thanks for feedback.

The magic system is... not perfectly thought out yet. I have some ideas, but they're only half formed. I'd... prefer not to post them, if I could get away with it.

I had thought about the government situation, but couldn't see where it would fit in my summery. I have it down basicly to this.

Every government is going to want to do somthing different with this new resource. But none of them are going to want to risk doing somthing activly; as no one knows if other countries also know about the "magic" phenomenon. So hat measures are in place are mostly going to be similar to England, forming groups to investigate the subject, and contain it quietly, in preperation for later goals. One or two would probably have more difined immedieteobjectives, but these would be the exception, and this would mostly be backround thus far (as, at least to start with, the book'll be confined to dealing with the UK)

Prophaniti
2007-11-19, 01:26 PM
rate it, hmm? well, on a scale of 1-10 where
1= "I'm amazed you even grasp enough writing concepts to put in on paper"
and 10= "This is quite possibly the best story idea EVER concieved by man"
I, personally would rate it about 6.8, maybe 7. Seems like your taking an interesting direction with it.

With your idea of 1 in 500,000 that means in today's world of 6 billion there would be about 12,000- likely a little more since the population will be that much bigger in a few years. This is an excellent number to go with since it means you're idea of having things not really change in any drastic way is plausible... yet you could still conceivably get a sizable group of 'talents' together for some serious mayhem and villany, or saving the world.

Actually, it kinda feels like Anne McCaffery's Pegasus series, except with magic instead of psychic abilities. I don't know if that's the kind of feel you wanted (personally I like the books so IMO its not a bad direction to take it) but that's only the impression I get from the summary. It could easily be changed in the writing style and approach.

Moral Wiz
2007-11-19, 05:17 PM
rate it, hmm? well, on a scale of 1-10 where
1= "I'm amazed you even grasp enough writing concepts to put in on paper"
and 10= "This is quite possibly the best story idea EVER concieved by man"
I, personally would rate it about 6.8, maybe 7. Seems like your taking an interesting direction with it.

Thanks. That's better than I'd probably rate it; especially as my skills at exposition are not brilliant


With your idea of 1 in 500,000 that means in today's world of 6 billion there would be about 12,000- likely a little more since the population will be that much bigger in a few years. This is an excellent number to go with since it means you're idea of having things not really change in any drastic way is plausible... yet you could still conceivably get a sizable group of 'talents' together for some serious mayhem and villany, or saving the world.
13210, on the standerd figures I had could find. Plus inlation of the population. It'll be a fun number to play with and will plummet almost at once, as far as Timson can see. A combination of normal deaths, motivated deaths (from those who know what they are) and being sucked up by other organisations (such as AI7, NSPR and the 9th, three agenicies of various Governments. Not to mention groups like Warysia )


Actually, it kinda feels like Anne McCaffery's Pegasus series, except with magic instead of psychic abilities. I don't know if that's the kind of feel you wanted (personally I like the books so IMO its not a bad direction to take it) but that's only the impression I get from the summary. It could easily be changed in the writing style and approach.

I havn't read them, but, from what I can see on wikipedia... Is the talent group played as simple "Heroes"? I have... a rather different rout planed.

Timson, for instance, won't aquire any reserve of magic ability for his new job as a chess-master type. He'll do his best, but most of his opponents will be much more experiance, and will be far more confident. He's just been plucked from a normal life, and placed against the milatry. There is no way that he can do well (except against other, similar agencies. Most of them will be in the same boat; though to carying degrees, based on the country that bakcked them). His lack of skill at manipulation (he isn't stupid, in fact he's prety smart. Just not at that level) will be a problem, and his utter in-ability to cope with it will be shows straight.

His employees will be shown in a similar fashon; they will have little idea as to how to use their powers, or what they have to do. Considering what their new job requieres them to do at times; their sanity (or lives) may end up "collateral "

Warysia, on the other hand, will play with the EvilCo ideas. Seriously, how many corperations in these type of books count as "good guys"? They'll still be the antagonists (certianly to start with, if not permenantly) but they will find a sympathetic light. Keo Brown is a very Genre Savvy guy, likes a laugh and is a generous employer (like that guy on the simpsons. Great boss, just happens to run a criminal empire. Not Keo, this guy who's name I can't place.) His goons are personable, and not just Faceless Stormtroopers. They won't be card carrying villans.

Do you begin to see what I've got in mind?

Toliudar
2007-11-19, 05:41 PM
I guess I can see a few ways that life can basically go on as usual with a scenario in which a few individuals begin to be able to, in some way, seriously mess with physical laws. Any of these might become major or minor incidents in a book such as yours:


The media deals with it in a "weekly world news" way, assuming it's some kind of hoax, thoroughly discrediting it (a la most UFO sightings).
The media focuses so much energy on it that people get bored with it, no matter how matter-of-factly or sensationally it's presented.
Popular scientists go on television to "prove" that such magical abilities are actually well within the realm of physics.
Most people with such abilities keep their heads way WAY down, and so no one thinks that they exist.

I can certainly understand how having 12,000 people working magic in the world wouldn't change most people's lives. It wouldn't make me get up earlier in the morning, or make me a nicer/happier person. The joy in a book like this might be the interweaving of the large-scale action-movie kind of foreground action with dozens of small elements that show the tiny shifts in world culture caused by such a change.

Rock on!

yoshi927
2007-11-19, 06:01 PM
Yay! Thanks for feedback.

The magic system is... not perfectly thought out yet. I have some ideas, but they're only half formed. I'd... prefer not to post them, if I could get away with it.

I had thought about the government situation, but couldn't see where it would fit in my summery. I have it down basicly to this.

Every government is going to want to do somthing different with this new resource. But none of them are going to want to risk doing somthing activly; as no one knows if other countries also know about the "magic" phenomenon. So hat measures are in place are mostly going to be similar to England, forming groups to investigate the subject, and contain it quietly, in preperation for later goals. One or two would probably have more difined immedieteobjectives, but these would be the exception, and this would mostly be backround thus far (as, at least to start with, the book'll be confined to dealing with the UK)Actually, now that I think about it, what would the church say? Are they supposed to be descended angels? Or demons? Or wicked people who take power from the devil? What happens to clergymen who have magic? What does the church tell it's believers about this? What happens if the Pope develops magic power?