Help! I can't make a character concept!

[Cyclone231]

So, after reading another thread, I was musing on Monkey Grip's comedic effect...

How can you make a character with Monkey Grip and not have the idea, in your head, look dumb/silly? Preferably a Scoundrel-type who duel-wields large bastard swords.

So how would you make a reasonable, non-silly character who you can mentally imagine carrying two ridiculously large bastard swords not look stupid?

Is it even possible?

[Temp]

For some reason, I think a Dire Hedgehog wouldn't look too absurd with Monkey Grip. Practically, tough? Nothing occurs to me.


...But that's pretty much because there isn't a whole lot that could make a hedgehog look more absurd than it already does. Giving it Monkey-Gripped weapons would be like painting a manatee orange.

[VerdugoExplode]

The only way to make this character cool is to give him one wing and enough angst to smother an entire Linkin Park concert. He would then be the pinnacle of seriousness and impose a stifling atmosphere wherever he went.

I'm going to agree with temp that the larger a weapon gets the less serious you take the wielder of said weapon eventually getting to the point where the character is more of a farce than anything else. If you notice people take assassins very seriously despite the fact that they tend to use small weapons like daggers. Coincidence? I think not.

[Jannex]

If he's a scoundrel-type, have him play on the idea that he looks a bit silly. Make him a little on the short side, and describe him as wiry instead of burly. Make him have a sense of humor, and provoke his foes into underestimating him. He's witty, clever, and doesn't take himself too seriously. He expects the "overcompensation" jokes, and shrugs them off ("Well, yeah, I guess I am--I mean, I've really only got one, y'know? :smallwink:")

...He actually sounds like he could be a lot of fun. Invest in a half-decent Charisma.

[Siberys]

For some reason, I think a anthropomorhic Dire Hedgehog wouldn't look too absurd with Monkey Grip. Practically, tough? Nothing occurs to me.


So, after reading another thread, I was musing on Monkey Grip's comedic effect...

How can you make a character with Monkey Grip and not have the idea, in your head, look dumb/silly? Preferably a Scoundrel-type who duel-wields large bastard swords.

So how would you make a reasonable, non-silly character who you can mentally imagine carrying two ridiculously large bastard swords not look stupid?

Is it even possible?

Please, no... the pain.

One of my players actually wanted to be sonic. And when I told him no, all he'd play was a half elf warrior of some sort who dual wielded bastard swords with monkey grip. And this was in, like, three campaigns.

Thankfully, he's gotten over it now. But this, + The Dean Thread, + a thread about Link as a D&D character (another thing he tried pulling, except it was just to annoy me...)

Too much. Have you all been spying on me? :smalltongue:

[Xefas]

The spell "Invisibility" can be made permanent by a permanency spell, but only if it is being made permanent on an object, and not a person.

Clearly, the solution to not looking silly with two oversized bastard swords, is to look like you're a nutter wielding two IMAGINARY oversized bastard swords.

Talk about a "sneak attack"...

[Hecore]

The only way I can think to do this is to have the character normally wield one oversized sword in both hands. Via a command word they can split it into two swords for a period of time. It might not be quite what you wanted but if you limit its use somewhat then at least it won't be totally lame.

[VerdugoExplode]

Also, actually getting hit by said weapons would definitely make his character appear more serious as people become quite serious when their life is currently being jeopardized by someone who wasn't told you aren't supposed to dual wield great swords.

I imagine the conversation would go something like this:
"Hahaha, overcompensating for something are we? You look absolutely ridiculous I'll have you no and will continue to berate you on your current choice of weaponry"
*Is hit for obscene amounts of damage*
"I wish to recant my previous statements and wish to express my humblest apologies for insulting you and your swords...please don't kill me."

Of course the problem arises of actually hitting them with said swords, and the increased level of mockery should you be unfortunate enough to miss.

[Tokiko Mima]

So, after reading another thread, I was musing on Monkey Grip's comedic effect...

How can you make a character with Monkey Grip and not have the idea, in your head, look dumb/silly? Preferably a Scoundrel-type who duel-wields large bastard swords.

So how would you make a reasonable, non-silly character who you can mentally imagine carrying two ridiculously large bastard swords not look stupid?

Is it even possible?

I dunno.. I think there's some cool stuff you can do. For example, I was thinking of a magic weapon that had morphing and sizing properties from the MIC. It could become any weapon you liked, any size you liked. Have a character whose weapon depended solely on their mood: a longsword for when they're feeling heroic, a warhammer for when they're depressed and have a headache, a stilleto for when they are being sneaky or devious, or a HUGE bastard sword for when they get upset.

[ocato]

Actually, it'd be even more ridiculous when the character began swinging these swords with obscene miss rates. Seriously, I may be wrong about monkey grip, but I don't think it would characterize these weapons as light, so we're looking at pretty huge minuses.

"you must be over compensating for something"
"En guarde!"
*stands perfectly still, avoiding every attack*
"Oh noooo, the terrible enemy has slain me with his mighty skillz"
*monkey gripper gets angry and full attacks again, missing obscenely*
"Yoooou have slaaaaain meeeee-- oh, you done? Power attack. Get a two hander chump"
*modest power attack, actually hits*

[horseboy]

Bah, screw it and cross the line way out. Make it an 85 lb, soaking wet waif of a little girl. Have her dual wielding large war hammers, chasing people around screeching. Make it so corny that it's no longer funny.

[horseboy]

Actually, it'd be even more ridiculous when the character began swinging these swords with obscene miss rates. Seriously, I may be wrong about monkey grip, but I don't think it would characterize these weapons as light, so we're looking at pretty huge minuses.

"you must be over compensating for something"
"En guarde!"
*stands perfectly still, avoiding every attack*
"Oh noooo, the terrible enemy has slain me with his mighty skillz"
*monkey gripper gets angry and full attacks again, missing obscenely*
"Yoooou have slaaaaain meeeee-- oh, you done? Power attack. Get a two hander chump"
*modest power attack, actually hits*
I once saw this guy try and combine monkey grip with troll blooded and an adamantine large great-axe. I think he hit once the whole night.

[ocato]

Bah, screw it and cross the line way out. Make it an 85 lb, soaking wet waif of a little girl. Have her dual wielding large war hammers, chasing people around screeching. Make it so corny that it's no longer funny.

I think she had a sword and an axe, actually.

http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a292/blogthemes/serenity/river.jpg

[Yami]

Honestly? I would go goblin. Well, probably because I have. But two weapon penalties on top of monkey penalties? Talk about a sad monkey. So to work around this you must;

A: Always charge. You need the boost to to hit.
b: Rage. Boost to Str = to hit. You did take Barb for pounce yes?
3: Attack from hiding. No dex bonus == better to hit.
4: Flanking. I don't care how, just make sure it happens. Swordsage 1 for distracting ember if need be, because you need +to hit. Besides, sudden leap allows for another round of charging.
D: Buy the Cleric your own wand of healing and a large bouquet of flowers. Chocolates might not hurt either.

So now mister Glass Cannon, You wield two massive peices of steel, rush towards the enemy like a screaming banshee from hades, and hurt them for about as much as their going to hurt you. Should they live.

Silly? Eh, not as much. Disturbed? Probably. In debt to the party healer? For life. But that's the price you pay.

[Xefas]

Bah, screw it and cross the line way out. Make it an 85 lb, soaking wet waif of a little girl. Have her dual wielding large war hammers, chasing people around screeching. Make it so corny that it's no longer funny.

Pffft, if you really wanted to be absurd, you'd go all the way.

http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/300W/fs7.deviantart.com/i/2005/239/d/8/Presea_by_EmilianoHC.jpg

Anyway, something I've always wondered: why does a colossal-sized greatsword being wielded by a medium creature still only hit the 1 adjacent square that a medium-sized greatsword would?

[Yami]

Because they just sort of tip it over there?

[Nerd-o-rama]

Play a female character. No one ever objects to a hot girl with an oversized weapon. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SmallGirlBigGun)

Well, some women maybe. And feminists.

[Jannex]

Pffft, if you really wanted to be absurd, you'd go all the way.

http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/300W/fs7.deviantart.com/i/2005/239/d/8/Presea_by_EmilianoHC.jpg


I was waiting for Presea to come up in this thread. :smallsmile:

[Setra]

Well if we're doing pictures..

http://images.quizilla.com/K/KR/KRA/KratosSamurai2/1128783033_loydLloyd3.jpg

At least I think he uses bastard swords.

Edit: Though they're certainly not LARGE Bastard swords

[Paragon Badger]

Simple.

Make it look tough.

Instead of holding the giant sword on his back or atop his shoulder like those cliche animes, have the character drag it around everywhere.

Instead of using brute strength to slash an enemy, perhaps the character merely lets gravity or momentum do the cutting.

[Inyssius Tor]

Is two the maximum?

A marilith who walks (and climbs) using four of her six 10-foot swords, spider-fashion. Since she's not using her tail to move anymore (unless she wants four more attacks), give her a poisoned tail-blade.* As a demon, she's already a scoundrel-type: just look (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/demon.htm#marilith) at that Bluff modifier.


* Tail-blades are in Savage Species, and probably elsewhere.

[Yeril]

You can't monkey grip with your offhand so no duel wielding large weapons.

you can duel wield a large bastard sword and a medium bastard sword, but not two large ones.

[Xefas]

You can't monkey grip with your offhand so no duel wielding large weapons.

you can duel wield a large bastard sword and a medium bastard sword, but not two large ones.

Actually, Monkey Grip only lowers the penalty you take for wielding a bigger weapon than normal, it doesn't give you the basic ability to. Anyone can duel-wield Large Bastard Swords if they have the Exotic Proficiency for them, since then they count as 1-handed weapons. They'd just have an extraordinarily large penalty, although Oversized Two-Weapon Fighting (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/feats.pl?Oversized_Two-weapon_Fighting,all) could help with that.

[Dhavaer]

The White Witch from the Narnia movie had what looked like two bastard swords. She probably had Powerful Build, though, being part giant.

[Inyssius Tor]

Actually, Monkey Grip only lowers the penalty you take for wielding a bigger weapon than normal, it doesn't give you the basic ability to. Anyone can duel-wield Large Bastard Swords if they have the Exotic Proficiency for them, since then they count as 1-handed weapons. They'd just have an extraordinarily large penalty, although Oversized Two-Weapon Fighting (http://realmshelps.dandello.net/cgi-bin/feats.pl?Oversized_Two-weapon_Fighting,all) could help with that.

Except not, because oversized weapons take up an extra hand per size category (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/weapons.htm#weaponSize). A Large Bastard Sword will count as a two-handed weapon, even if you are proficient (unless you happen to be Large or larger). Monkey Grip negates this rule.

[Belial_the_Leveler]

Dunno. Xiombarg didn't look silly when fighting Elric wielding a sword twice her size.

[Xefas]

Except not, because oversized weapons take up an extra hand per size category (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/weapons.htm#weaponSize). A Large Bastard Sword will count as a two-handed weapon, even if you are proficient (unless you happen to be Large or larger). Monkey Grip negates this rule.

Ah, I see. I guess I was mistaken. Nevermind then, and thank you for the correction.

[Fishy]

I'd go with the 'Cervantes' look for this one. Dread pirate coat and awesome hat help people take you seriously.

[Ossian]

One thing which isn't clear. You're playing a scoundrel or a rogue? Not all rogues are scoundrels, and not all scoundrels are rogues.
Only because your character sheet does not say "Fighter" that does not mean you have to look like the sly thin black clad dagger wielder or the sexy scantily dressed archer.

I remember very much enjoying the description of the scoundrel as a general and narrative concept in the Complete Scoundrel. many scoundrels ozze awesomeness, attitude, charisma. Good guy or bad guy, they play rough.
Take "Jack Burton" from the pork chop express (Big Trouble in Little China, by J. Carpenter with K. Russel). he's "the" scoundrel, and even if he'd look little credible with two tachi (that is, large katanas, or "large bastard swords") he's still awesome and tough.

You scoundrel has STR and CHA 18? He can totally show off muscles and carry his two big swords, one strapped on his back and one by his side, or both on his back, but in the same sheath. One hilt up, and you grabe it above the RT shoulder, and the other hilt down, and you grab it from the left side.

Just give him height, and mass. Avoid the skinny elves and go for a half orc (with more human and less orkish blood) and pick up the "combat rogue" from SRD (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/variantCharacterClasses.htm#rogue). You loose sneak attack and you gain the fighter's bonus feats (and you still get tons of skills and skillpoints). Take a 1 level dip into barbarian, for rage, and use it to silence stupid comments (regardless of your race).

You got two big swords? So what? "Dude, these swords belonged to my daddy. HE was a very big man, and a fantastic fighter. THESE are my heirlooms. Their not hungry blades, right now, as I just fed them another tired of living jerk that had something to say on their size, but they can always pick a snack, if you follow my meaning. So, got a problem with that?" (unsheaths 3 inches of each blade)

O.

[F.L.]

I think the CS also lists Dr. House as a scoundrel, so if you get an oversized cane...

Alternately, use a gigantic axe, and wear an executioner's hood. That's a look that doesn't look too silly, just slightly silly. Or armor styled to look like an iron golem, an iron golem with 2 gigantic swords is almost to be expected.

[AmberVael]

Pffft, if you really wanted to be absurd, you'd go all the way.

http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/300W/fs7.deviantart.com/i/2005/239/d/8/Presea_by_EmilianoHC.jpg


No, you have yet to go all the way.

http://frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/strips/041004.gif

That is all the way.

[Xefas]

No, you have yet to go all the way.

http://frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/strips/041004.gif

That is all the way.

I am...truly humbled.

[AmberVael]

I am...truly humbled.

Is it bad that I actually made a character out of that? :smallwink:
He was a vicious little rabbit-thing...

[Mr.Moron]

I am...truly humbled.

I can MS paint you one better.


http://i13.tinypic.com/85dfwco.jpg

[Fawsto]

All the times I see Monkey Grip, and s*** I am a personal fan and defender of this feat, I never think the user looks silly when applied as I describe bellow. It's fantasy RPG, it's ok. A bigger than you sword in RL would be a completely idiotic weapon, that I must admit.

I never roleplay that 2handed Greatswords (the standard 2d6 sword) are as tall as the user, I'say it is much more realistyc to say that they are as tall as the user leg + 1 palm (In my case, a maximun of 1,10 meters). Never as tall as the user. The full Blade as described on Sord and Fist would reach something like 1,25 or 1,30 meters.

Also, being a Large Longsword exactly the same thing as an Greatsword except one-handed, it would never be, IMO, taller than the user. The biggest weapon a character of mine wielded in a scenario was a Large Bastard Sword (just a little smaller than a fullblade, 1,15 to 1,20 meters) that dealed something like 2d8 + 6 damage.

I never tryed using a Large Greatsword or a Large Fullblade, the both would cause 3d6 + strg damage... To overkill for my taste...

A character that uses those Kind of big baddass weapons is presented in the Fire Emblem game series. It is the General. He is presented as the full heavy armored guy with BIG weapons. In FE The Sacred Stones, the General's swords is the perfect exemple of a Large Longsword IMO. Btw, IMO they just look great in all that impervious armors and wielding big devastating weapons, like living siegetowers of doom! :smallbiggrin:

Dudes, am I the only one here who never had problems hitting with a Large Longsword? I mean, It is like I was in permanent Power Attack 2 (-2 to AB). It is like, 10%, tops, less chance to hit? I killed most of my enemies in lvl 1 with 2 hits, pehaps 3 hits (4d6 + (2 times my str score) kills pretty much of everything in CR 1 or 2), when I arrived at lvl 4, I was'nt even bothering with my -2 penalty anymore, I had a BAB of 4 + 3 (strg score) - 2 (MG). I hardly missed any target, and the damage dealt by a single attack was ground shaking. Pehaps I am just lucky, that's why I use MG. :smallcool:

I know MG is crap in comparisson to power attack and the "Fenzied Leaping Shock Berserker", but it can be very cool if you drop the "My sword Is taller than me, MWAHAHAHA!" idea and go for "I am strong enough to wield this Greatsword with one hand" idea. It is not a 2,5 meters Cloud's sword, it is just a 1,20 meters medieval sword. Much more likely to exist. :smallamused:

(Btw... Cloud and Sephiroth? They are cool in battle during the movie... They just suck when you try to put those swords in DnD) :smalltongue:

[SadisticFishing]

There are bracers in the MIC, Storngarm, I think they're called, that cost 6,000gp and give you Powerful Build (does not stack with Powerful Build or Monkey Grip). FAR less bad then Monkey Grip, and you save a feat... 6,000gp is nothing.

Conceptually, if you're killing people,it won't look silly. Your dude'd start off as "that guy with two swords twice his size LOL!" and turn into "..."

[Hecore]

Though not quite your concept I think the best way to do a massive weapon and monkey grip without getting jokes is as an Oni using one hand to drag a huge 2-h spiked black truncheon behind him.

[Nerd-o-rama]

I can MS paint you one better.


http://i13.tinypic.com/85dfwco.jpg

That looks like something out of Gurren-Lagann.

[VerdugoExplode]

I would like to point out that pyramid head wields a vastly over sized weapon but no one mocks him. Of course that may be because he is a nightmare made into flesh and madness incarnate. Either way pyramid head is taken seriously so I would make a character based on him.