Mastikator
2022-01-13, 11:39 AM
I've been playing in a campaign for a little over a year, meeting about once every 2 months on average. And these are two stories that have convinced me that the DM really loves killing horses, he doesn't hate having them in the game, not at all. If he hates having horses in the game why does he keep giving us horses? No, he loves to see them die horribly.
First story. We travel by wagons and horses to a remote little village, in the center of the village is a "clockwork mansion" AKA The Dungeon. The village is covered by some kind of mist and infested with weird undead monsters, we kill some of the monsters. We have not fully secured the village (in fact we are pretty sure there are definitely monsters inside the dungeon and they might make rounds outside). I and another player argue where we should park the horses. I think they should be parked far away from the village, the other player thinks we should put them in the stables. We go with the stables, I say good bye to the horses for the last time.
Because when we go into the dungeon it's full of fiends (among other things). We find the princess, kill the dragon/demon, loot the treasure. Make our way out and lo and behold the horses are dead, the DM informs us that fiends have eaten them.
I'm shocked, SHOCKED! Well not that shocked. I decide to take the high road and not say "I told you so" to the other player, mostly to use as a trump card the next time he's stubborn about risking party resources. It's not about "hah I'm right and you're wrong", it's about "stop putting OUR stuff in danger for the sake of muh authority".
We return to town, do another mission. Find a blue dragon baby. We decide to give it to the elves or something because it has had its wings clipped. That quest takes us into the haunted forest, deep in the forest there are ruins. In the center of the ruins lies the ancient temple of the tree goddess (or something). I'll skip by the temple story and just say we get the good stuff and now the dragon will eventually be able to fly again. That takes us to story number two.
Story number two. We have picked up a side quest to investigate some missing couriers that went to New Front- a frontier war camp on the edge of the haunted forest. This part I won't skip by fast because there are some interesting details that lead me to believe that the first horse would've died no matter where we parked it. How you might ask? Keep reading.
We arrive at New Front.
We are greeted with food and drink, they tell us they have excess food. We ask to be introduced to the captain of the camp.
We talk to the campaign and ask about the couriers, she tells us they decided to stay longer because the trip through the haunted forest was horrid (it was for us too, extremely deadly for anyone that isn't a 5th level party of adventurers :smallwink:)
I (my character) ask to talk to the couriers, one of them is in the stables where we parked our horse and wagon. I give salute and show my character's background military rank (which outranks everyone but the captain) and asks why the courier has stayed longer than necessary. He gives me an excuse about the danger. My character feigns compassion and offers to bring the courier out of the haunted forest unharmed, where we will go to the nearest town and the courier can take the long (and safe... safer) route back home. It's like pulling nails to get this solider to do his duty.
By this time Quinn (party leader) has gone to bed. DM asks for a con save with disadvantage then a wisdom save, she rolls poorly. Then I go to bed. And then the rogue goes to bed. The warforged ate nothing and doesn't sleep.
She is asked to talk to the DM in private I and the party's rogue roll high on the saves and we just have a long night rest.
Quinn and the DM comes back, all she says is that we are lucky to roll high.... ooookayyyy
During the night the warforged is up he sees that quinn has woken up early and is acting weird. He has several interactions where it becomes apparent that everyone in the camp has some kind of hive-mind effect going on. For some reason that is beyond my understanding he does literally nothing about this, doesn't wake us up. Nope. Carry on his business. Sigh.
Next day we wake up and I ask the captain if it's OK if we take the couriers with us, she says she won't force them. Ok, I just go straight to the couriers and tell them that we will take them back safely, they refuse. I then tell them (with knowledge I have from my background) that if they don't report back it may result in a court-martial, they look spooked but do nothing. I then turn to the captain and tell her about the risk of court martial and tell her if she aids them she'll be complicit and may end up being replaced by someone who will enforce the orders of her superiors.
Roll for initiative. Everyone in the camp attacks us, and surprise surprise Quinn attacks us too. I tell the other players to deal non-lethal damage so that we can take them alive, a couple of them go down to zero hp, next round they go straight back up. We start killing them. They turn into green goo. We kill "quinn" too and she also turn into goo.
We scout the camp and kill the remaining goo people. We then inside a tiny and deep hole, a hole so narrow our small sized rogue would have to squeeze to fit through, there we the BBEG. A plant that has been going Invasion Of The Body Snatchers on the camp and inside it we find Quinn, dead. If only the warforged had done literally anything she could've lived, oh well...
What on Earth has this got to do with horses you might be wondering? Well APPARENTLY THE FRIGGING HORSE WAS ALSO KILLED BY THE SAME PLANT. WHAT??? We rolled really high on arcana and nature so the DM told us that Quinn's body would provide nutrients for weeks. So
1) HOW DID A BIG HORSE FIT THROUGH A TINY HOLE?
2) WHERE DID IT EVEN GO, THE PLANT WAS FULL?
I tell you, no matter what we do, the DM will give us a horse and then murder it in the most gruesome way possible.
Next game I'm telling him I figured out that there's another plant. I know there isn't because the plant doesn't cooperate with other of its kind. But it's literally the only possible explanation- there was a second plant hidden in the stables. Otherwise the warforged would've seen the horse go into the tiiiny little hole and also the horse literally couldn't fit into that hole anyway.
First story. We travel by wagons and horses to a remote little village, in the center of the village is a "clockwork mansion" AKA The Dungeon. The village is covered by some kind of mist and infested with weird undead monsters, we kill some of the monsters. We have not fully secured the village (in fact we are pretty sure there are definitely monsters inside the dungeon and they might make rounds outside). I and another player argue where we should park the horses. I think they should be parked far away from the village, the other player thinks we should put them in the stables. We go with the stables, I say good bye to the horses for the last time.
Because when we go into the dungeon it's full of fiends (among other things). We find the princess, kill the dragon/demon, loot the treasure. Make our way out and lo and behold the horses are dead, the DM informs us that fiends have eaten them.
I'm shocked, SHOCKED! Well not that shocked. I decide to take the high road and not say "I told you so" to the other player, mostly to use as a trump card the next time he's stubborn about risking party resources. It's not about "hah I'm right and you're wrong", it's about "stop putting OUR stuff in danger for the sake of muh authority".
We return to town, do another mission. Find a blue dragon baby. We decide to give it to the elves or something because it has had its wings clipped. That quest takes us into the haunted forest, deep in the forest there are ruins. In the center of the ruins lies the ancient temple of the tree goddess (or something). I'll skip by the temple story and just say we get the good stuff and now the dragon will eventually be able to fly again. That takes us to story number two.
Story number two. We have picked up a side quest to investigate some missing couriers that went to New Front- a frontier war camp on the edge of the haunted forest. This part I won't skip by fast because there are some interesting details that lead me to believe that the first horse would've died no matter where we parked it. How you might ask? Keep reading.
We arrive at New Front.
We are greeted with food and drink, they tell us they have excess food. We ask to be introduced to the captain of the camp.
We talk to the campaign and ask about the couriers, she tells us they decided to stay longer because the trip through the haunted forest was horrid (it was for us too, extremely deadly for anyone that isn't a 5th level party of adventurers :smallwink:)
I (my character) ask to talk to the couriers, one of them is in the stables where we parked our horse and wagon. I give salute and show my character's background military rank (which outranks everyone but the captain) and asks why the courier has stayed longer than necessary. He gives me an excuse about the danger. My character feigns compassion and offers to bring the courier out of the haunted forest unharmed, where we will go to the nearest town and the courier can take the long (and safe... safer) route back home. It's like pulling nails to get this solider to do his duty.
By this time Quinn (party leader) has gone to bed. DM asks for a con save with disadvantage then a wisdom save, she rolls poorly. Then I go to bed. And then the rogue goes to bed. The warforged ate nothing and doesn't sleep.
She is asked to talk to the DM in private I and the party's rogue roll high on the saves and we just have a long night rest.
Quinn and the DM comes back, all she says is that we are lucky to roll high.... ooookayyyy
During the night the warforged is up he sees that quinn has woken up early and is acting weird. He has several interactions where it becomes apparent that everyone in the camp has some kind of hive-mind effect going on. For some reason that is beyond my understanding he does literally nothing about this, doesn't wake us up. Nope. Carry on his business. Sigh.
Next day we wake up and I ask the captain if it's OK if we take the couriers with us, she says she won't force them. Ok, I just go straight to the couriers and tell them that we will take them back safely, they refuse. I then tell them (with knowledge I have from my background) that if they don't report back it may result in a court-martial, they look spooked but do nothing. I then turn to the captain and tell her about the risk of court martial and tell her if she aids them she'll be complicit and may end up being replaced by someone who will enforce the orders of her superiors.
Roll for initiative. Everyone in the camp attacks us, and surprise surprise Quinn attacks us too. I tell the other players to deal non-lethal damage so that we can take them alive, a couple of them go down to zero hp, next round they go straight back up. We start killing them. They turn into green goo. We kill "quinn" too and she also turn into goo.
We scout the camp and kill the remaining goo people. We then inside a tiny and deep hole, a hole so narrow our small sized rogue would have to squeeze to fit through, there we the BBEG. A plant that has been going Invasion Of The Body Snatchers on the camp and inside it we find Quinn, dead. If only the warforged had done literally anything she could've lived, oh well...
What on Earth has this got to do with horses you might be wondering? Well APPARENTLY THE FRIGGING HORSE WAS ALSO KILLED BY THE SAME PLANT. WHAT??? We rolled really high on arcana and nature so the DM told us that Quinn's body would provide nutrients for weeks. So
1) HOW DID A BIG HORSE FIT THROUGH A TINY HOLE?
2) WHERE DID IT EVEN GO, THE PLANT WAS FULL?
I tell you, no matter what we do, the DM will give us a horse and then murder it in the most gruesome way possible.
Next game I'm telling him I figured out that there's another plant. I know there isn't because the plant doesn't cooperate with other of its kind. But it's literally the only possible explanation- there was a second plant hidden in the stables. Otherwise the warforged would've seen the horse go into the tiiiny little hole and also the horse literally couldn't fit into that hole anyway.