"Non-sensical" Batman gadget/property challange

[Smoutwortel]

Post here either batman gadgets/propertiess you think make no sense in the real world and/or ways to fix that.

Example:
bat card(credit card with bat wing motive):

Fix:
For a functioning personalized credit card batman would need to do the following things:
a. reverse money launder considerable sums of money, so no one figures out batman's identity from his financial records.
b. buy a custom credit card from an existing credit card provider or start his own.

My suggestion for a reverse money laundering scheme:
- Get a company that is a legal entity on itself(LLC, cooperation I don't care). Make certain you get an overwhelming majority in the shares and a position that does let you make financial decisions up to like one billion without having to inform the rest. Optionally make certain this company does a lot of other things too like actually selling things.
- Make with this company another legal entity with you at the unquestioned top, but now one with the extra requirement that it's not publicly traded and far from the public eye.
- Make with this company another non-publicly legal entity, but this time with someone else as CEO, but the creating company as super powerful absolute majority share holder.
- Make with this company a foundation with someone else as the boss, but the creating company as super powerful donator and now with a lot of badly administrated partitions(like archives, distribution centra, advisory teams, etc.).
- Make one of these partitions the place where you store batman's everyday spending money and put yourself under a pseudonym as the one who controls this partition and its funds.

For ordering the custom card:
Have the foundation give all partition heads the command to send in designs for a custom credit card, order all these designs and distribute them to the right partitions.

[Lord Raziere]

Shark repellant on a helicopter.

Specifically.

shark repellant alone is too easy and this is a challenge. to fix this, one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.

[Metastachydium]

one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.

Sharknadoes?

[Traab]

Shark repellant on a helicopter.

Specifically.

shark repellant alone is too easy and this is a challenge. to fix this, one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.

Thats easy, when doing search and rescue in the bay, you use a helicopter to take your time spotting and retrieving victims. Of course, the sharks love free meals, so you need to put some shark repellant dispensers on the helicopter.

[Lord Raziere]

Nope and Nope.

1. sharknados aren't real

2. shark attacks are actually rare. there are many things more likely to happen and they wouldn't need a helicopter to rescue you, shark repellant would be a waste by itself. elephants, dogs and jellyfish are more dangerous.

the shark repellant by itself is easy, because all it would really be is a scam to convince ignorant beach goers they need it s you'd make money. a scam is technically a real life use, just for yourself and not anyone else. its figuring out why you'd put a near useless repellant in a helicopter that serves an actual use is the problem.

[Anteros]

People are terrified of sharks. I can see putting shark repellant in a helicopter for the same reason I can see putting a flotation device in one. Will you need it? Probably not. If the helicopter crashes will you be around to use it? Probably not. BUT if you do you'll be glad you have it.

If it were a real thing and I regularly operated a helicopter over the ocean I would definitely have a bottle onboard. Low risk, high reward.

[Aeson]

People are terrified of sharks. I can see putting shark repellant in a helicopter for the same reason I can see putting a flotation device in one. Will you need it? Probably not. If the helicopter crashes will you be around to use it? Probably not. BUT if you do you'll be glad you have it.

If it were a real thing and I regularly operated a helicopter over the ocean I would definitely have a bottle onboard. Low risk, high reward.
Shark repellent is a real thing; a chemical shark repellent which was developed around WW2 was commonly supplied to US Navy sailors and aviators during WWII and for at least a couple of decades afterwards along with life vests/belts or as a part of the survival kits which were kept in life boats and life rafts, though its efficacy has at times been questioned. Other shark repellents have been developed since then, and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if one form or another of it remained a fairly common inclusion in the survival kits found on the life rafts and life boats carried by oceanic vessels or by aircraft which frequently operate over the sea.

[Psyren]

All 30 milllion citizens of Gotham having a Wayne-phone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRELLH86Edo), and then converting those phones into Sonar imaging technology, was pretty funny.

(Wait - 30 million? Even NY Metro isn't much over 20!)

[Morgaln]

Shark repellant is fine and has a certain logic to it. The real question is, why would you need a manta ray repellant? Mantas are completely harmless, after all.

[Eldan]

For ordering the custom card:
Have the foundation give all partition heads the command to send in designs for a custom credit card, order all these designs and distribute them to the right partitions.

He's Bruce Wayne, one of the richest men in the world. Batman in most versions is a celebrity.

Just tell the company that their new tier of credit cards above platinum, diamond or black, or whatever they have, should be "superhero level". So the ten richest people in the world have a Bat Card, or a Superman Card or a Wonderwoman Card.

[Metastachydium]

Nope and Nope.

1. sharknados aren't real

Bah. Next time you'll tell me giant piranhas eating airliners are not real!

[Anteros]

Shark repellent is a real thing; a chemical shark repellent which was developed around WW2 was commonly supplied to US Navy sailors and aviators during WWII and for at least a couple of decades afterwards along with life vests/belts or as a part of the survival kits which were kept in life boats and life rafts, though its efficacy has at times been questioned. Other shark repellents have been developed since then, and I wouldn't be terribly surprised if one form or another of it remained a fairly common inclusion in the survival kits found on the life rafts and life boats carried by oceanic vessels or by aircraft which frequently operate over the sea.

To my knowledge, no shark repellant has ever been developed that actually works. Some studies even indicate that some of the ones commercially marketed that emit electromagnetic signals might even actually attract sharks.

Theoretically something should be possible. I know great whites tend to flee an area when one of them is killed, so you could probably simulate that somehow, but it hasn't been done. It might also have the risk of drawing other wildlife even if it worked.

[Rynjin]

Shark repellent, whatever. Explain to me why he has BatShark repellent. Are BatSharks even real?

[Smoutwortel]

Shark repellant on a helicopter.

Specifically.

shark repellant alone is too easy and this is a challenge. to fix this, one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.

a list: smuggling(you smuggle whatever you smuggle in beef containment, happens with bananas can happen with meat), because I'm batman, batman is afraid of sharks and skydiving helicopter(tourists are afraid of sharks, but can still like skydiving above the sea)


Shark repellent, whatever. Explain to me why he has BatShark repellent. Are BatSharks even real?

The answer to this question is actually given in the comics:
batman keeps to the bat theme, because he wants to build a reputation to inspire fear by criminals.


He's Bruce Wayne, one of the richest men in the world. Batman in most versions is a celebrity.

Just tell the company that their new tier of credit cards above platinum, diamond or black, or whatever they have, should be "superhero level". So the ten richest people in the world have a Bat Card, or a Superman Card or a Wonderwoman Card.

In that case batman having a batman card would give a big indication of who's batman.
It's why I needed the reverse money laundering scheme in the first place.
This way batman doesn't have to show the fact that he is super rich, but can hide behind the possibility of being a community project or a thief.


Shark repellant is fine and has a certain logic to it. The real question is, why would you need a manta ray repellant? Mantas are completely harmless, after all.

If I may:
Smuggling in meat(can happen with bananas, can happen with meat), batman is afraid of fish.


All 30 milllion citizens of Gotham having a Wayne-phone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRELLH86Edo), and then converting those phones into Sonar imaging technology, was pretty funny.

(Wait - 30 million? Even NY Metro isn't much over 20!)

I resent the fact that I can give you multiple real life examples of people who could pull this without anyone knowing.
The top and system administrators of Qualcomm could probably pull this all individually without the rest finding out.
The top and system administrators of Google could pull this individually without the rest finding out.
The top and system administrators of ARM Core Bootloader could pull this individually without the rest finding out.

As for the number of people:
There are enough cities with more than 30 million citizens in the world, maybe Gotham is one of these or Gotham had a big population boom thanks to some factors like time, many blackouts(there is a proven connection between blackouts and babies), rich inhabitants, lots of media coverage, lots of industry or there is some event going on and this actually also counts temporary residents.

[Morgaln]

As for the number of people:
There are enough cities with more than 30 million citizens in the world, maybe Gotham is one of these or Gotham had a big population boom thanks to some factors like time, many blackouts(there is a proven connection between blackouts and babies), rich inhabitants, lots of media coverage, lots of industry or there is some event going on and this actually also counts temporary residents.

Enough as in, 2? https://worldpopulationreview.com/world-cities

[Psyren]

I resent the fact that I can give you multiple real life examples of people who could pull this without anyone knowing.
The top and system administrators of Qualcomm could probably pull this all individually without the rest finding out.
The top and system administrators of Google could pull this individually without the rest finding out.
The top and system administrators of ARM Core Bootloader could pull this individually without the rest finding out.

It wasn't the "Wayne accesses data from every Wayne phone" I was laughing at, that's definitely plausible - it was moreso the "turning them all into Sonar imaging devices that can 3D map the entire city in real time" thing.



As for the number of people:
There are enough cities with more than 30 million citizens in the world, maybe Gotham is one of these or Gotham had a big population boom thanks to some factors like time, many blackouts(there is a proven connection between blackouts and babies), rich inhabitants, lots of media coverage, lots of industry or there is some event going on and this actually also counts temporary residents.

Well, 30M would put Gotham at the third largest city in the world, behind only Tokyo and Delhi India. Certainly more populous than anything else in the US. But I wasn't actually questioning that. Rather, it was Lucius' claim that every single one of those people has the same carrier. I guess there are no Apple Stores in Gotham. (I mean, they'd get robbed every week, who could blame them?)

[McNum]

The Bat-Credit Card is easy to explain, no need for any fancy scheme.

Batman saved Wayne Enterprises from a supervillain attack at some point, and being the philanthropist he is, Bruce Wayne extended a line of near-infinite credit to the Batman as thanks. Everyone knows Bruce is a bit of a crackpot so it's entirely in character for him to use his own clout to get a bank to issue a credit card with Batman's logo on it and an expiry date of Forever.

If people notice, Bruce can just admit he gave the Bat a credit card. He did much the same in Batman Inc. where he told everyone that he was the one footing the bill for the Batmobiles and Batwings.

Batman, of course, rarely uses the card, but he never leaves the cave without it.

[Dire_Flumph]

shark repellant alone is too easy and this is a challenge. to fix this, one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.

Isn't King Shark a DC supervillain? Who can jump really high?

Honestly, that would be a fun mini-story for an annual or special with Bruce reminiscing on why that's in there.

[Smoutwortel]

It wasn't the "Wayne accesses data from every Wayne phone" I was laughing at, that's definitely plausible - it was moreso the "turning them all into Sonar imaging devices that can 3D map the entire city in real time" thing.



Well, 30M would put Gotham at the third largest city in the world, behind only Tokyo and Delhi India. Certainly more populous than anything else in the US. But I wasn't actually questioning that. Rather, it was Lucius' claim that every single one of those people has the same carrier. I guess there are no Apple Stores in Gotham. (I mean, they'd get robbed every week, who could blame them?)

You make a good point with "everyone has the same carrier". Normally this would result in a trust busting, so it actually requires an explanation on itself.
What if this is a Gotham specific thing, because the main part of Wayne mobile factoring is done in Gotham and Wayne mobile phones are premium devices on themselves making Wayne phones in the area of Gotham not only the go to premium devices(apple), but also the go to budget devices(android).
With a Qualcomm like business trust busting would be a lesser danger, because you're not that visible, but it seems these things are market as being from Wayne industries making that an inadequate way of fixing it.


The Bat-Credit Card is easy to explain, no need for any fancy scheme.

Batman saved Wayne Enterprises from a supervillain attack at some point, and being the philanthropist he is, Bruce Wayne extended a line of near-infinite credit to the Batman as thanks. Everyone knows Bruce is a bit of a crackpot so it's entirely in character for him to use his own clout to get a bank to issue a credit card with Batman's logo on it and an expiry date of Forever.

If people notice, Bruce can just admit he gave the Bat a credit card. He did much the same in Batman Inc. where he told everyone that he was the one footing the bill for the Batmobiles and Batwings.

Batman, of course, rarely uses the card, but he never leaves the cave without it.

That would give Bruce Wayne a certain responsibility towards Batman's actions, which can be problematic for him, since Batman often breaks the law.


Enough as in, 2? https://worldpopulationreview.com/world-cities

Oops didn't know that.
That could indeed be problematic.
Additional suggestion. Having multiple phones is all the rage under the Gotham populace, so some people have like twelve smartphones.

[Psyren]

Oops didn't know that.
That could indeed be problematic.
Additional suggestion. Having multiple phones is all the rage under the Gotham populace, so some people have like twelve smartphones.

I'm starting to get the impression you made this thread primarily to gripe about the credit card thing :smallbiggrin:

[Lord Vukodlak]

That would give Bruce Wayne a certain responsibility towards Batman's actions, which can be problematic for him, since Batman often breaks the law.

Batman’s operates openly with the police in the Schumacher films. In the little flash back clip he was sitting in the courtroom in costume. So he’s fully government sanctioned.


In that case batman having a batman card would give a big indication of who's batman.
It's why I needed the reverse money laundering scheme in the first place.
This way batman doesn't have to show the fact that he is super rich, but can hide behind the possibility of being a community project or a thief.

Also keep in mind, they were under Ivys spell at the time. It may have been Bruce Wayne’s card and he simply wasn’t thinking straight.

[Smoutwortel]

Batman’s operates openly with the police in the Schumacher films. In the little flash back clip he was sitting in the courtroom in costume. So he’s fully government sanctioned.



Also keep in mind, they were under Ivys spell at the time. It may have been Bruce Wayne’s card and he simply wasn’t thinking straight.
1. Both these institutions have programs that allow for anonymous and non-fully verified people to take part. I always assumed batman used these routes, since most of his tricks would never pass law enforcement standards and he even has a few tricks that don't pass military standards.

2. Good point.
I forgot the amount of excuses for investing in batman inconsequentially Bruce Wayne has is essentially unlimited.
"I was poisoned with joker toxin when I made that decision. Well batman can keep it."
"Oops administrative mistake"
"He pretended to be a security company"
"I didn't give him ten tons of gold what makes you think that? Yes, I bought ten tons of gold, but that is just stored safely in my gold reserves."

[Peelee]

Shark repellent, whatever. Explain to me why he has BatShark repellent. Are BatSharks even real?

Of course they're real. He repelled one!

All 30 milllion citizens of Gotham having a Wayne-phone (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRELLH86Edo), and then converting those phones into Sonar imaging technology, was pretty funny.

(Wait - 30 million? Even NY Metro isn't much over 20!)
I cannot overstate my disappointment when I clicked that link, because i thought (for no reason, admittedly, since it's not even a Wayne Phone) that you meant the buttonless red phones in the Adam west series.

To my knowledge, no shark repellant has ever been developed that actually works.
Sure it has. Rotting carcass scent.

Fonversely, sharks love the color yellow.

Shark repellant on a helicopter.

Specifically.

shark repellant alone is too easy and this is a challenge. to fix this, one has to explain to me why the shark repellant is on a helicopter, what use you get out of specifically putting it there.
Oh, let me tell you, Chief, I got the perfect reason. It needs a bit o' exposition, so bear with me.

We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail.

What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour.

Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.

[hungrycrow]

Oh, let me tell you, Chief, I got the perfect reason. It needs a bit o' exposition, so bear with me.

We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte. We'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half-hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail.

What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin' by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away.

Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks there were, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour.

Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. At noon on the fifth day, a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and started to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened. Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. 316 men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945.
If the batshark repellent is for that, he's gonna need a bigger can.

[Peelee]

If the batshark repellent is for that, he's gonna need a bigger can.

Well that depends on how concentrated it is.

[lord_khaine]

Isn't King Shark a DC supervillain? Who can jump really high?


King Shark is a walking argument for getting Good Shark repellant. Not Bat Shark Repellant xD

While with the credit card thing.
Im vaguely certain giving someone else money does not make you responsible for their actions.

[Peelee]

While with the credit card thing.
Im vaguely certain giving someone else money does not make you responsible for their actions.

"Aiding and abetting" is very much a thing. Batman is a vigilante.

[snowblizz]

"Aiding and abetting" is very much a thing. Batman is a vigilante.

Putting money on Batman is no bet, it's a sure thing.

Clearly Wayne enterprises run some kind of digital currency company, a BatCoin of you will.

[Peelee]

Putting money on Batman is no bet, it's a sure thing.

Clearly Wayne enterprises run some kind of digital currency company, a BatCoin of you will.

I'm half surprised batcoin isn't a real thing.

[The Glyphstone]

I'm half surprised batcoin isn't a real thing.

https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/batcoin/

Sadly, it apparently stands for Basic Attention Token and is marketed by Mozilla. No superhero connections visible.

[TwilightSandwic]

Bruce Wayne openly 'funding' Batman was a thing in the comics for a while, wasn't it?
There's plenty of times where Batman might need to buy things *as* Batman, espacially in a setting where he's a well-beloved public figure like in the Schumacher films. Maybe he could have convinced a bank to give him a 'Batman' account as a publicity stunt and he keeps a token amount of money in there for emergancies.

[Peelee]

Bruce Wayne openly 'funding' Batman was a thing in the comics for a while, wasn't it?
There's plenty of times where Batman might need to buy things *as* Batman, espacially in a setting where he's a well-beloved public figure like in the Schumacher films. Maybe he could have convinced a bank to give him a 'Batman' account as a publicity stunt and he keeps a token amount of money in there for emergancies.

Batman meets the wonderful world of banking and finance laws!

[Dire_Flumph]

https://coinmarketcap.com/currencies/batcoin/

Sadly, it apparently stands for Basic Attention Token and is marketed by Mozilla. No superhero connections visible.

Has there been a cryptocurrency themed supervillain in comics yet? I mean, even the name Blockchain sort of works.

[The Glyphstone]

I feel like there's a joke that even supervillains won't stoop to using crypto scams.

[Lord Raziere]

I feel like there's a joke that even supervillains won't stoop to using crypto scams.

Well yeah, Lex is bad, but he has standards, he wants people to get screwed over by inventions he actually makes that could change the world if he didn't have people pay so exorbitantly for them. He will make you pay through the nose for your cure for cancer, and he probably modified it so he is nickle-and-diming the treatments but he will give it to you. He wouldn't stoop so low as crypto.

[Ramza00]

Some Essays
Anthony Oliveira Paper Faces on Parade Sanctioning the buffoonery of Joel Schumacher.https://hazlitt.net/longreads/paper-faces-parade

Which is about JS full work but focuses on his two batman movies, and how they are camp and callbacks to the 1960s series. Camp is a way one process and metabolizes the serious. You make it fun as an act of resistance and thus reclaim things via resistance.

J Bryan Lowder who further elaborates on this Can Camp Be Taken Seriously? A midnight visit to the garden of good and evil. https://slate.com/culture/2013/04/midnight-in-the-garden-of-good-and-evil-serious-camp.html#

And if one has not read it already one should read the Susan Sontag Notes on Camp essay (links to a PDF not a website) https://monoskop.org/images/5/59/Sontag_Susan_1964_Notes_on_Camp.pdf

As Susan mentions in the first page of the essay everything that is a camp object is not something made in nature but instead is man made, it is an object of artifice. Camp is about social relations, you can have a pastoral camp and an urban camp and most camp items is urban pastoral. Yet there is an artifce, a cleverness with them where you are precisely playing with nonsense using a man made thing in a social relation that was not congruent with the purpose. That is the point, it is poking fun at everything. But read the whole thing yes it is a dozen pages but get going and you will read it fast.

[McNum]

There one not quite as obviously nonsensical gadget Batman uses all the time that really shouldn't work: His grapnel gun.

How does it shoot so far? Where is all that cable stored? How does it have the pull strength to pull Batman and a passenger along?

You could make something like this, but no way it'd be as compact as what Batman is using. His is usually one-handed with no observable mechanism to pull in the wire.

[hungrycrow]

There one not quite as obviously nonsensical gadget Batman uses all the time that really shouldn't work: His grapnel gun.

How does it shoot so far? Where is all that cable stored? How does it have the pull strength to pull Batman and a passenger along?

You could make something like this, but no way it'd be as compact as what Batman is using. His is usually one-handed with no observable mechanism to pull in the wire.

I also wonder how the grapple end would attach and detach to surfaces. I saw some youtube engineer try to make some and he ended up just carrying multiples and discarding them as he went. And he did it in a room with ceiling beams to grab.

[Ramza00]

There one not quite as obviously nonsensical gadget Batman uses all the time that really shouldn't work: His grapnel gun.

How does it shoot so far? Where is all that cable stored? How does it have the pull strength to pull Batman and a passenger along?

You could make something like this, but no way it'd be as compact as what Batman is using. His is usually one-handed with no observable mechanism to pull in the wire.


Florence Pugh throwing down a grappling device and running down a skyscraper building head first > Batman Grappling Gadget > James Bond Wristwatch device.

[Beleriphon]

Sure it has. Rotting carcass scent.

Specifically, rotting shark carcass.

[Traab]

I also wonder how the grapple end would attach and detach to surfaces. I saw some youtube engineer try to make some and he ended up just carrying multiples and discarding them as he went. And he did it in a room with ceiling beams to grab.

Mythbusters tried it a few ways, the hook was too heavy and ruined any chance at a good and accurate launch, then he tried for a impaling bolt, with stuff like those bullets that put nails in cement, and that was unreliable as heck, bouncing off a lot, and even when it stuck it didnt stick deep enough to safely lift. Jamie built a device capable of pulling him up but iirc it took up most of his hand and forearm and I think was attached to his belt. Also, he punched himself in the face when it came off and bloodied himself.

[TwilightSandwic]

It'll be pretty hilarious if, out every memetically goofy Bat-Gadget out there, the one that's actually the most impossible is just the Grapple-Gun.

[McNum]

It'll be pretty hilarious if, out every memetically goofy Bat-Gadget out there, the one that's actually the most impossible is just the Grapple-Gun.
From what Batman carries on him, it probably is. Batarangs? Bat-shaped shuriken. We could make those easily, take a little longer if you want them balanced for throwing better. Explosive ones would take some engineering, but again, it can work. Smoke pellets? Not much issue there, either. The smoke volume per pellet might be a little overblown, but nothing big.

Even Batman's signature Utility Belt isn't much trouble, it's just about space management and knowing what to pack in advance. Make the Batarangs foldable if you have to. The cape that can turn rigid for gliding, I don't see much problem with. You can do silly things with material science these days.

Batmolbile? People built that thing for real. Jet engine and all. You can own a Batmobile in real life.

Bat-Wing? Custom jet fighters are rare, but I don't see why not. VTOL capability is tricky, honestly as things are, a Bat-Drone might serve his purposes better most nights, but you can totally make a Bat-jet fighter if you want.

But the grapnel launcher. It just doesn't add up. No propellant, too compact, and no good way of making it latch onto any surface. He'd be better off buying web-fluid from Spider-Man. That at least makes some sense compared to a hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher.

[Peelee]

But the grapnel launcher. It just doesn't add up. No propellant, too compact, and no good way of making it latch onto any surface. He'd be better off buying web-fluid from Spider-Man. That at least makes some sense compared to a hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher.

The hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher makes less sense than the hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher (but chemical)?

[tyckspoon]

I also wonder how the grapple end would attach and detach to surfaces. I saw some youtube engineer try to make some and he ended up just carrying multiples and discarding them as he went. And he did it in a room with ceiling beams to grab.

Gotham has decorative gargoyles -everywhere-. It's the city's best known trait. Aside from the abnormally high incident rate of themed criminals, anyways. Can't fire a grapple without having it wrap around or latch inside of a sturdy stone wing or outstretched jaw or something, barely even have to look. And all the interior design is industrial-chic so there are exposed structural elements in all the buildings.

[McNum]

The hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher makes less sense than the hand-portable sky-scraper reach wire launcher (but chemical)?
Some sense.

Pressurized liquid that turns sticky on contact with air, and no retracting of the line. It still has holes, like how did Peter even make this wonder-fluid, but relying on pressure and expansion for launch is a good idea.

[Lord Vukodlak]

Gotham has decorative gargoyles -everywhere-. It's the city's best known trait. Aside from the abnormally high incident rate of themed criminals, anyways. Can't fire a grapple without having it wrap around or latch inside of a sturdy stone wing or outstretched jaw or something, barely even have to look. And all the interior design is industrial-chic so there are exposed structural elements in all the buildings.

Not to mention criminals with doctorates. For a crime riddled city they have a remarkable education system.

[Anteros]

Not to mention criminals with doctorates. For a crime riddled city they have a remarkable education system.

I suppose it makes some sense that when your opponent is the world's greatest detective you'd need some level of intelligence to be a threat.

[Ramza00]

Not to mention criminals with doctorates. For a crime riddled city they have a remarkable education system.

You have to pay those student loans back, thus a life of crime.

[Peelee]

Some sense.

Pressurized liquid that turns sticky on contact with air, and no retracting of the line. It still has holes, like how did Peter even make this wonder-fluid, but relying on pressure and expansion for launch is a good idea.

Imean, the web launchers are even smaller than the grapnel gun, need both the web chemical and also some form of pressurizer to allow their insane range, and also because liquid is more or less incompressible, the chemical somehow gets miles of use out of it

Don't get me wrong, the grapnel gun is ridiculous, but the Spidey's web launchers are not better.

[Fyraltari]

It'll be pretty hilarious if, out every memetically goofy Bat-Gadget out there, the one that's actually the most impossible is just the Grapple-Gun.
His cape has to be a serious contender too:
A) It can drape around his shoulders to cover his entire body minus the head and is longer than his shoulder height so it spreads on the floor.
B) Despite that, it's never any hindrance while running, fighting, doing acrobatics or any combination of the three.
C) It can still harden enough to act as a one-man glider wing.
D) Despite all the people shooting at him and all the running around in poorly-lit alleyways or abandinned amusement parks, it's never torn or ripped.

Imean, the web launchers are even smaller than the grapnel gun, need both the web chemical and also some form of pressurizer to allow their insane range, and also because liquid is more or less incompressible, the chemical somehow gets miles of use out of it

Don't get me wrong, the grapnel gun is ridiculous, but the Spidey's web launchers are not better.
And despite all the fighting he does, his web-shooters are never ruptured, spilling his sticky white fluid everywhere at an inopportune moment.





What? Is he not an allegory for puberty?

[Traab]

Not to mention criminals with doctorates. For a crime riddled city they have a remarkable education system.

Too be fair, they got their doctorates BEFORE falling to a life of crime, generally after some horrible accident twisted them terribly physically and mentally. Just because they were employed in gotham doesnt mean they got their phds there.

[Smoutwortel]

Not to mention criminals with doctorates. For a crime riddled city they have a remarkable education system.

There has been research that proved that high education pays remarkably well in crime(even better than in non-crime for the most cases), so it can just be that batman only catches the bigger, smarter and most deadly fish.


As for the grappling gun:
Maybe "Wayne construction" company could make a mechanisms in most of Gotham's buildings that does most of the pulling and force exertion and aiming for Batman's grappling gun.
The basic idea would be something like this:
electric magnet, which can be turned on by sending the right wireless signal to it and a spill that will if it manages to catch a cable with the right wired signal start spinning to provide the power needed to pull batman up.
It pulls most of its power out of the electricity net, maybe with a capacitor in between to allow for power charges.
This way we would only need a way to fit a lot of cable and a somewhat powerful launching mechanism in batman's storage.
This could be achieved by working the cable in the full suit, making a connection point at the end of the cable and embedding it in batman's right hand and using some serious explosives to fire the to the cable end attaching tip, which is stored in the gun itself high enough to be catched by the grappler mechanisms spread through Gotham.

[Lord Torath]

Gotham has decorative gargoyles -everywhere-. It's the city's best known trait. Aside from the abnormally high incident rate of themed criminals, anyways. Can't fire a grapple without having it wrap around or latch inside of a sturdy stone wing or outstretched jaw or something, barely even have to look. And all the interior design is industrial-chic so there are exposed structural elements in all the buildings.Stone is pretty terrible in tension, though, and wrapping a thin cable around a wing and then applying several hundred to several thousand pounds of tensile force (depending on just how hard Batman is swinging on the cable) is a recipe for a lot of broken gargoyles.

[The Glyphstone]

Stone is pretty terrible in tension, though, and wrapping a thin cable around a wing and then applying several hundred to several thousand pounds of tensile force (depending on just how hard Batman is swinging on the cable) is a recipe for a lot of broken gargoyles.

"Why don't you kill me?"
"Batman doesn't kill, I'm better than scum like you."
*Fires grapple launcher upward.
Loud cracking crunch noise, broken gargoyle crushes criminal.
"Technically, the gargoyle killed you just now."

[Peelee]

Stone is pretty terrible in tension, though, and wrapping a thin cable around a wing and then applying several hundred to several thousand pounds of tensile force (depending on just how hard Batman is swinging on the cable) is a recipe for a lot of broken gargoyles.
Rebar-reinforced gargoyles?

"Why don't you kill me?"
"Batman doesn't kill, I'm better than scum like you."
*Fires grapple launcher upward.
Loud cracking crunch noise, broken gargoyle crushes criminal.
"Technically, the gargoyle killed you just now."

Ok that got a laugh out of me.

[Fyraltari]

The gargoyles littered throughout the Batman Arkham Asylum game are a donation from Bruce Wayne.

[Peelee]

The gargoyles littered throughout the Batman Arkham Asylum game are a donation from Bruce Wayne.

Really? I played the hell out of that and I don't remember it. But then again, Arkham games have tons of little easter eggs, so I'm not surprised I missed some

[Fyraltari]

Really? I played the hell out of that and I don't remember it. But then again, Arkham games have tons of little easter eggs, so I'm not surprised I missed some
Pretty sure. Couldn't tell you where in the game it's mentionned, though.

[Psyren]

Batman meets the wonderful world of banking and finance laws!


I feel like there's a joke that even supervillains won't stoop to using crypto scams.


You have to pay those student loans back, thus a life of crime.

Capitalism-man, the true supervillain.


And despite all the fighting he does, his web-shooters are never ruptured, spilling his sticky white fluid everywhere at an inopportune moment.

My theory is that his standard release (the "thwip" wrist gesture) involves releasing some kind of catalyst or additive into the chamber at the moment of propulsion. Simply cracking the tank open and exposing the contents to air won't have the same effect as shooting them out normally will.

As for the solid webs having possibly more mass (and certainly more volume) than their liquid state - he's not firing them through a vacuum, so them picking up extra stuff from the various molecules/particles in the air isn't a huge stretch for me. So I'm leaning towards McNum on this one.

[Peelee]

Capitalism-man, the true supervillain.

The thing is, I know exactly who he should have punched (https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2010-09-26).

[Psyren]

The thing is, I know exactly who he should have punched (https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2010-09-26).

Same here :smallbiggrin:

[Traab]

"Why don't you kill me?"
"Batman doesn't kill, I'm better than scum like you."
*Fires grapple launcher upward.
Loud cracking crunch noise, broken gargoyle crushes criminal.
"Technically, the gargoyle killed you just now."

Thats one of those "but I dont have to save you" type justifications isnt it? :smallbiggrin:

[The Glyphstone]

Thats one of those "but I dont have to save you" type justifications isnt it? :smallbiggrin:

If I had written it better, there would have been an awkward pause before Batman justifies it. Like it was an accident and he's rationalizing it.

[Peelee]

If I had written it better, there would have been an awkward pause before Batman justifies it. Like it was an accident and he's rationalizing it.

That's how I read it, for what it's worth.

[Drakeburn]

Would an African Death Bee Antidote Pill (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AhNvLyXZ8A) count, since it it safe to presume that Robin got it from Batman?

Though granted, the first EpiPens came into the market at 1983, and the Adam West Batman series was made back in the 60's. I've heard about the development of an epinephrine tablet, but I don't know how that went.

[oogaboogagoblin]

man i didnt know batman had so much random garbage

[Eldan]

man i didnt know batman had so much random garbage

It depends a lot on how good the writing of a particular comic or show episode is. Also, how serious the show takes itself. Lego Batman or The Brave and the Bold have a lot more license for weird stuff. Plus, you know, the character is over 80 years old.

[Traab]

It depends a lot on how good the writing of a particular comic or show episode is. Also, how serious the show takes itself. Lego Batman or The Brave and the Bold have a lot more license for weird stuff. Plus, you know, the character is over 80 years old.

The longer the story goes the more reasonable it is for him to have a vast arsenal. He has already faced, lets say, poison ivy, a dozen times or more. So he has the full loadout like antidotes to her mind control effects, herbicide to take down her plants, weapons designed to carve through angry plant life, so on and so forth. Same for the rest of his rogues gallery. It makes sense that he has ludicrously specific counters for his enemies because he knows what they use against him.

[Smoutwortel]

The longer the story goes the more reasonable it is for him to have a vast arsenal. He has already faced, lets say, poison ivy, a dozen times or more. So he has the full loadout like antidotes to her mind control effects, herbicide to take down her plants, weapons designed to carve through angry plant life, so on and so forth. Same for the rest of his rogues gallery. It makes sense that he has ludicrously specific counters for his enemies because he knows what they use against him.

Also he is a rich dude with wild imagination, a risky lifestile and paint. It can be that some of his gadget are things he first bought for fun, but turned them in batman gadgets when there became an indication he would need to use them.

[oogaboogagoblin]

somone needs to make a story thats just batman reminiscing about all of his stupid gadgets and why he got them and used them

[Traab]

somone needs to make a story thats just batman reminiscing about all of his stupid gadgets and why he got them and used them

That could be easily setup. Have one of the newer robins or members of the bat clan be looking through the records or his armory and being incredulous that he would bother to invent such a thing and calling batman out on it. "What on earth is this even FOR?!" "Thats when clayface found a mystical artifact that let him transmute his clay into other materials and I found myself having to create an adaptable gas mask that also produced sound at a specific frequency I could modulate on the fly to disorient him no matter what form he took. The decorative bat ears are actually the speakers for the sonic attack."

[Fyraltari]

somone needs to make a story thats just batman reminiscing about all of his stupid gadgets and why he got them and used them

That sounds like something Neil Gaiman would write.

[Beleriphon]

That sounds like something Neil Gaiman would write.

Or Grant Morrison. Morrison does like the weirder of Batman.

[Vahnavoi]

Would an African Death Bee Antidote Pill (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AhNvLyXZ8A) count, since it it safe to presume that Robin got it from Batman?

Though granted, the first EpiPens came into the market at 1983, and the Adam West Batman series was made back in the 60's. I've heard about the development of an epinephrine tablet, but I don't know how that went.

One common symptom of things you'd want to use EpiPen to treat is a swollen throat and related inability to swallow, so a tablet version probably died because of that.