Monster insults

[Emperor Demonking]

Seeing someone sig, with the don't say moo to a minataur caused me to create this.

To an Elf; "even your ears are stuck up."

[SoD]

Also on the subject of elves: Why do elves habe pointy ears? There's got to be some point to elves.

Go into a bar, find a halfling or a gnome, goblin, whatever. Something small. Offer to buy them a drink. Sit back down with them with a huge mug of beer/ale/vodka, whatever. When they reach for it ''No, that one's mine. Here's yours.'' And place a shot glass full of water in front of them saying ''A tiny tiny drink for a tiny tiny man.''

[martyboy74]

Ask a dwarf if dwarven women really do have facial hair.

[hewhosaysfish]

Ask a dwarf if dwarven women really do have facial hair.

What if she flutters her eyes at you and says "Yes. Do you like it?"

[Mr.Bookworm]

What if she flutters her eyes at you and says "Yes. Do you like it?"

You invent creative insults regarding her parentage and the subject of crossdressing.

[Rasilak]

"How do you make a dwarf go ballistic?" - "Just hide his axe on the cupboard..."

[Guy_Whozevl]

To any large sized monster:

Yo mama so fat that when she jump for joy..., she get stuck!

What...? It was the best I could come up with.:smallbiggrin:

[kemmotar]

To a medusa:

Is it the snakes on your head that petrify people, a supernatural gaze or is it the fact you're just plain ugly to a supernatural extent?

[Lolzords]

What if she flutters her eyes at you and says "Yes. Do you like it?"

I have an urge to make a crossdressing female dwarf.

[daggaz]

To a drunken dwarf (male) in the bar:

You ever kiss another man? No... How can you be so sure?

[Blanks]

To a drunken dwarf (male) in the bar:

You ever kiss another man? No... How can you be so sure?
We all know you would only get to "You ever kiss another man?" before you were told the joke about the axe between the eyebrows :smalltongue:

[Yami]

I have always been a fan of the classics.

"By the gods it smells like elf in here." -gobliniods just love this one.

"Your father wears pointy shoes!" -Again, usually aimed at gobliniods, althought its also argued as the best way to provoke a fight with macho elves as well.

"I thought beholders had 'scaly' skin?" -or any other texture not on the current beholder your talking to. Gauranteed to unleash genocidal ravings.

"Oh noes! Ta'nari." -Often the best way to get a Devil's attention in combat.

[Ganurath]

For Elves: Greet them in orc.
For Dwarves: Deliberately greet them with the wrong gender pronoun.
For Gnomes: "Do you use your ability to speak with burrowing mammals for courting?"
For Halflings: Trip over them.
For Orcs: Greet them in goblin.
For Goblins: Greet them in dwarven.

[SoD]

When in an orc tribe, refur to any half-orcs you see as being 'impure' or 'half-human'.

[Tempest Fennac]

To kobolds: you're so weak you should have a negative level adjustment.

[Dervag]

To a medusa:

Is it the snakes on your head that petrify people, a supernatural gaze or is it the fact you're just plain ugly to a supernatural extent?In a word...
Yesssss.

[Tengu]

Go into a bar, find a halfling or a gnome, goblin, whatever. Something small. Offer to buy them a drink. Sit back down with them with a huge mug of beer/ale/vodka, whatever. When they reach for it ''No, that one's mine. Here's yours.'' And place a shot glass full of water in front of them saying ''A tiny tiny drink for a tiny tiny man.''

Warm milk would be more offensive than water here, I think.

[Roderick_BR]

When in an orc tribe, refur to any half-orcs you see as being 'impure' or 'half-human'.
The funny thing is that some elves do call half-elves as "half-human". It's not an offense, just a play of words, like humans say half-elves.
I'm not sure how a half-orc would take that, though. :smallamused:

[Tempest Fennac]

Ironically, there is a Half-Elf variant called the Half-Human: page 8 of http://www.crystalkeep.com/d20/rules/DnD3.5Index-Races.pdf (the only real difference between them and normal Half-Elves is that they get automatic straight bow, longsword and rapier proficiency).