Corran
2022-06-05, 08:42 PM
I think it's been too long since the last one, so let's remember some of them and let's hear any new ones. So, as the title says, share some memorable failure of your dnd party.
Here's an old one from an old campaign I've played in.
The party had acquired somehow (I dont even remember), a small barrel of gunpower. I remember that initially someone used to carry it at their back, but probably realizing this was too dangerous, we had later acquired a bag of holding to keep it safe and hidden. This barrel meant a lot to the party. It was our great secret weapon. The DM on many occasions had tried to tell us that this gunpoweder barrel was not as powerful as we imagined it to be, but we would have none of that. We were so fond of it, that the DM didn't have the heart to not play along. And how could we not be fond of the small gunpowder barrel? It was like our own death star, only in a much more practical and convenient size. The downside was that we would only get to use it once. We knew we had to make it count.
So there had been a few times when we were tempted to use the barrel, but we ended up saving it for something more important. It had to be a very special occasion. And do you know what that occasion was? A dragon. But not just any dragon. It was the first dragon the party/players had ever faced (well, there had been a wurmling before that we had been forced to kill, but that didn't count, it was too small and too insignificant).
The fight is epic. The dragon is certainly losing, but it's not clear who is winning. It's mostly a race between me and the ranger. My character is landed on the dragon's head (potions of jump for the win!), and as another king Arthur he is trying to do the sword in the stone thing, albeit a bit differently. Trying to push my sword that is stuck in the dragon's head deep enough to reach its brain and kill it before the ranger does. Ranger is also on top of the dragon's head (what a poser) trying to chop of its head with his giant silvered greataxe. The cleric, monk, wizard and sorcerer are outsiders but they try their best to be the MPV winners.
Then the cleric has an idea. He conspires with the rest of the party to use the gunpowder barrel, so that they'll be the ones to win dnd that day. Unfortunately for these lowly schemers, the DM is fair. He tells them that they can only use the barrel if everyone agrees, so that includes me and the ranger. Obviously we immediately say no. Bickering starts accross the table. Ah, we used to do that a lot these days, but if you weren't doing it you weren't playing dnd, not really. After a considerable amount of time, and through tough negotiations and a bit of blackmail
I dont remember everything, but it had started out with something like the cleric saying that if we didn't use the barrel he would never heal our characters again. The wizard was threatening to target the dragon's head and along with it me and the ranger with fireballs. He had also whispered to me that if I didn't accept he would tell the DM and the ranger that my paladin had conspired with him to kill a PDK NPC that the ranger had almost convinced to become his mentor -what, he had a very cool sword and I wanted it! Eventually we settled on an agreement according to which we would use the gunpowder barrel but in return me and the ranger would get an X amount of more loot from its hoard and with we have first dips on any magical items, and the cleric would have to spend all of his 1st,2nd and 3rd level slots in healing us two for I dont remember how long. There were probably more conditions but it's been too long and I dont remember. Anyway, as I was saying, after a considerable amount of time and debate
me and the ranger eventually agreed to use the gunpowder barrel, so that we would end the fight with a bang. All of us winners... (boo!).
So here was the plan. The cleric would take out the gunpoder barrel from the bag of holding, the monk would go next to him and together they would throw it at the dragon, and the wizard and sorcerer would ignite it with fire once it landed on the dragon. I saw the flaw in this plan immediately. "You fools, target the dragon's legs, so that the explosion wont hurt us", or something like that. I dont remember what caused it, but the ranger became certain that their plan was to kill us along with the dragon (I think he had said that he saw the wizard smile). Which wouldn't be unreasonable, we were doing some pretty messed up creative things back in that campaign. I didn't need more proof other than the ranger's suspicion, so once again the play stopped, bickering, "negotiating", all the good stuff started once again. Eventually, we all agreed that the DM would not allow the other 4 to throw the barrel at anywhere else than at the dragon's feet. It wasn't easy to reach this agreement, as the DM insisted that the gunpowder barrel would deal less damage if aimed at the dragon's feet instead of at its head (which was technically true). And none of us liked that, but there was no other way.
So, with a DM as a guarantor that he would not allow our characters to attempt anything other than we all agreed to be done, we refined our plan. The wizard would summon a giant gorilla, the cleric would take the gunpowder barrel out of their bag of holding, the monk and the gorilla would throw the barrel at the dragon's feet, and the sorcerer would ignite it with fire.
DM: "Is that right? Do you all agree?"
Bunch of morons: "Agreed."
Wizard: Summons giant gorilla.
Cleric: Takes barrel out of the bag of holding.
Dragon: Breaths fire at the barrel.
I dont remeber the cleric's expression (didn't savour it unfortunately), but I do remember him looking like a maniac at his character sheet, trying to find something that might save him. The monk is almost next to the cleric so he is a gonner too, as they were also hit by the dragon's breath. DM starts rolling dice. Cleric and monk are trying to open a conversation with the DM regarding how much damage the explosion of the barrel should do. The DM keeps rolling dice, all while repeating the phrase "it's a gunpowder barrel" as an answer to the cleric's and monk's pleas. The damage is a rediculous figure (I dont remeber, it could have been 500 points of damage, it could have been 1000, I only remember it was a crazy amount). The rest of us are laughing. The wizard and sorcerer stop laughing when the DM informs them that they were also caught in the barrel's blast. They are dead too, instantly. Honestly, they all got what they desreved. So with the insects gone, me and the ranger are starting an argument about whose turn it was, as the dragon is close to dying and each of us want to deal the killing blow and thus earn all the glory. The DM stops us. "You two were thankfully too far away, you only take half damage". We die instantly too.
TPK. Our first. Can you imagine the reaction? You probably cannot. Undetered by it, the cleric claimed that he was the one to kill the dragon, since he was holding the gunpowder barrel when it exploded. Every one else started yelling at the DM that this doesn't count, cause the dragon used its breath to blow up the barrel, so the dragon killed itself. The DM told us that the dragon didn't die, cause it was immune to fire. Huh. I took that as good news, and I think that everyone but the cleric prefered this outcome. So it wasn't so bad in the end. It could have certainly been worse, say, having the ranger as a winner. At least if the monster won the DM wasn't going to rub that to your face.
Anyway, next session our characters woke up into hell and started cutting their way out of there. But do you know what I learnt from this experience? That potions of jump are mandatory for dragon killing! Gunpowder barrels, not so much.
Here's an old one from an old campaign I've played in.
The party had acquired somehow (I dont even remember), a small barrel of gunpower. I remember that initially someone used to carry it at their back, but probably realizing this was too dangerous, we had later acquired a bag of holding to keep it safe and hidden. This barrel meant a lot to the party. It was our great secret weapon. The DM on many occasions had tried to tell us that this gunpoweder barrel was not as powerful as we imagined it to be, but we would have none of that. We were so fond of it, that the DM didn't have the heart to not play along. And how could we not be fond of the small gunpowder barrel? It was like our own death star, only in a much more practical and convenient size. The downside was that we would only get to use it once. We knew we had to make it count.
So there had been a few times when we were tempted to use the barrel, but we ended up saving it for something more important. It had to be a very special occasion. And do you know what that occasion was? A dragon. But not just any dragon. It was the first dragon the party/players had ever faced (well, there had been a wurmling before that we had been forced to kill, but that didn't count, it was too small and too insignificant).
The fight is epic. The dragon is certainly losing, but it's not clear who is winning. It's mostly a race between me and the ranger. My character is landed on the dragon's head (potions of jump for the win!), and as another king Arthur he is trying to do the sword in the stone thing, albeit a bit differently. Trying to push my sword that is stuck in the dragon's head deep enough to reach its brain and kill it before the ranger does. Ranger is also on top of the dragon's head (what a poser) trying to chop of its head with his giant silvered greataxe. The cleric, monk, wizard and sorcerer are outsiders but they try their best to be the MPV winners.
Then the cleric has an idea. He conspires with the rest of the party to use the gunpowder barrel, so that they'll be the ones to win dnd that day. Unfortunately for these lowly schemers, the DM is fair. He tells them that they can only use the barrel if everyone agrees, so that includes me and the ranger. Obviously we immediately say no. Bickering starts accross the table. Ah, we used to do that a lot these days, but if you weren't doing it you weren't playing dnd, not really. After a considerable amount of time, and through tough negotiations and a bit of blackmail
I dont remember everything, but it had started out with something like the cleric saying that if we didn't use the barrel he would never heal our characters again. The wizard was threatening to target the dragon's head and along with it me and the ranger with fireballs. He had also whispered to me that if I didn't accept he would tell the DM and the ranger that my paladin had conspired with him to kill a PDK NPC that the ranger had almost convinced to become his mentor -what, he had a very cool sword and I wanted it! Eventually we settled on an agreement according to which we would use the gunpowder barrel but in return me and the ranger would get an X amount of more loot from its hoard and with we have first dips on any magical items, and the cleric would have to spend all of his 1st,2nd and 3rd level slots in healing us two for I dont remember how long. There were probably more conditions but it's been too long and I dont remember. Anyway, as I was saying, after a considerable amount of time and debate
me and the ranger eventually agreed to use the gunpowder barrel, so that we would end the fight with a bang. All of us winners... (boo!).
So here was the plan. The cleric would take out the gunpoder barrel from the bag of holding, the monk would go next to him and together they would throw it at the dragon, and the wizard and sorcerer would ignite it with fire once it landed on the dragon. I saw the flaw in this plan immediately. "You fools, target the dragon's legs, so that the explosion wont hurt us", or something like that. I dont remember what caused it, but the ranger became certain that their plan was to kill us along with the dragon (I think he had said that he saw the wizard smile). Which wouldn't be unreasonable, we were doing some pretty messed up creative things back in that campaign. I didn't need more proof other than the ranger's suspicion, so once again the play stopped, bickering, "negotiating", all the good stuff started once again. Eventually, we all agreed that the DM would not allow the other 4 to throw the barrel at anywhere else than at the dragon's feet. It wasn't easy to reach this agreement, as the DM insisted that the gunpowder barrel would deal less damage if aimed at the dragon's feet instead of at its head (which was technically true). And none of us liked that, but there was no other way.
So, with a DM as a guarantor that he would not allow our characters to attempt anything other than we all agreed to be done, we refined our plan. The wizard would summon a giant gorilla, the cleric would take the gunpowder barrel out of their bag of holding, the monk and the gorilla would throw the barrel at the dragon's feet, and the sorcerer would ignite it with fire.
DM: "Is that right? Do you all agree?"
Bunch of morons: "Agreed."
Wizard: Summons giant gorilla.
Cleric: Takes barrel out of the bag of holding.
Dragon: Breaths fire at the barrel.
I dont remeber the cleric's expression (didn't savour it unfortunately), but I do remember him looking like a maniac at his character sheet, trying to find something that might save him. The monk is almost next to the cleric so he is a gonner too, as they were also hit by the dragon's breath. DM starts rolling dice. Cleric and monk are trying to open a conversation with the DM regarding how much damage the explosion of the barrel should do. The DM keeps rolling dice, all while repeating the phrase "it's a gunpowder barrel" as an answer to the cleric's and monk's pleas. The damage is a rediculous figure (I dont remeber, it could have been 500 points of damage, it could have been 1000, I only remember it was a crazy amount). The rest of us are laughing. The wizard and sorcerer stop laughing when the DM informs them that they were also caught in the barrel's blast. They are dead too, instantly. Honestly, they all got what they desreved. So with the insects gone, me and the ranger are starting an argument about whose turn it was, as the dragon is close to dying and each of us want to deal the killing blow and thus earn all the glory. The DM stops us. "You two were thankfully too far away, you only take half damage". We die instantly too.
TPK. Our first. Can you imagine the reaction? You probably cannot. Undetered by it, the cleric claimed that he was the one to kill the dragon, since he was holding the gunpowder barrel when it exploded. Every one else started yelling at the DM that this doesn't count, cause the dragon used its breath to blow up the barrel, so the dragon killed itself. The DM told us that the dragon didn't die, cause it was immune to fire. Huh. I took that as good news, and I think that everyone but the cleric prefered this outcome. So it wasn't so bad in the end. It could have certainly been worse, say, having the ranger as a winner. At least if the monster won the DM wasn't going to rub that to your face.
Anyway, next session our characters woke up into hell and started cutting their way out of there. But do you know what I learnt from this experience? That potions of jump are mandatory for dragon killing! Gunpowder barrels, not so much.