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Mythago
2022-12-29, 11:09 PM
Hi! I hope you are all having a pleasant set of waking days or nights. I have been building classes for various Dnd Editions over 10 years+ BUT I am fairly new to the 5E homebrewing. I wanted to import the self contained classes I made for my own magic-like system. It is super simple. The influences were from all over. I thought these ideas deserved some extra sight on them for the sake of clarity, editing and power scaling. Bear with me, some ideas were from a much younger man. I ask you to be kind, some of this class, the Riftmaker was concocted after a surgery. Please Evaluate and Critique Honestly.


The Riftmaker

Riftmakers toy with space. They have the ability to create pairs of portals that can be used for a variety of purposes, such as transportation, attacking, or providing an advantage in certain situations. Riftmakers are agile and charismatic, and focus on the use of those portals and amplifying their own physical abilities in order to think, act, and party faster. Often giving them an edge in combat and other situations. A Riftmaker can boost their own speed and agility through the use of their ill understood "Hype" ability, even sharing the feeling and buffing another target entirely. They are able to improve their spatial awareness and specialize in various portal-related abilities as they progress in skill. Additionally, they can tap into themselves to become more adept at improvising and evading danger all in high velocity. More powerful Riftmakers can even make portals to places beyond the stars. Overall, Riftmakers are a versatile and agile sort that excels at quick thinking and fast action. They are known to use anything they can lay their hands on as improvised weapons in a pinch. What powers these abilities, is a force known as Dyne.

Riftmakers, like all Dyne Regulators, have access to a resource called Dyne, which allows them to use their special powers and abilities. How enthralling it is to speak of the Dyne Regulators - those rare individuals who revel in the warmth of the sun, whose every movement is a dance to a melody only they can hear, and who live their lives with a fervent passion. These remarkable beings possess the ability to harness the very essence of life within themselves, a vital force composed of their desires, their actions, and the sustenance they consume. This ethereal essence, known as Dyne, can be wielded by the Dyne Regulators to grant them formidable powers and an acute understanding of their own inner strength and zealousness.

But such power does not come without its costs. The flow of life is a fickle thing, and it is up to the Dyne Regulator to maintain a delicate balance within themselves to keep their abilities at their peak. Should they fail to do so, and should their inner essence become depleted, they may lose access to their powers until they can find a way to restore their inner peace or confront the issues that have caused their imbalance.

A raised mug, as a toast to the Dyne Regulators, is often drawn upwards with these words. “Those rare and extraordinary individuals who dare to embrace the fullness of life and all that it has to offer. May their passion and determination serve as an inspiration to themselves.”




(I wish I found a cool picture to define this lol)

Creating a Riftmaker
You must have a Dexterity score of 13 or higher in order to multiclass in or out of this class.


LevelProficiency bonusHype UpClass featuresDyne Awareness
1+2--Dyne Awareness, Twin Rifts, Unarmored Grace5
2+2--Thinking With Portals6
3+2+2Hype Up, Spatial Specialization7
4+2+3Ability score improvement8
5+3+3Extra Action11
6+3+3Improvised Expertise12
7+3+3Egress Evasion13
8+3+4Ability score improvement14
9+4+4Spatial Specialization17
10+4+4Cracked Celerity18
11+4+4Extra Actions19
12+4+5Ability score improvement20
13+5+6--23
14+5+6Prompt Preservation24
15+5+6Spatial Specialization25
16+5+6Ability score improvement26
17+6+7Extra Actions+ 29
18+6+7U-Portal30
19+6+7Ability score improvement31
20+6+8Adroit Alacrity35

Class Features
Hit Points
Hit Dice: 1d6 per Riftmaker level
Hit Points at 1st Level: 6+your Constitution modifier
Hit Points at Higher Levels: 1d6+your Constitution modifier

Proficiencies
Armor: No armor or shields
Weapons: All simple weapons, improvised weapons
Tools: Cartographer’s tools and one musical instrument of your choice
Saving throws: Dexterity and Charisma
Skills: Choose Three from Acrobatics, Deception, Investigation, Perception, Performance, Persuasion, Sleight of Hand and Stealth

Equipment
(a) Cartographer’s tools (b) Musical instrument
(a) Any two simple weapons (b) 10 darts and a simple melee weapon
(a) a Dungeoneer's pack or (b) an Explorer's pack.

Abilities
Dyne:
Those who bask in the warm glow of the sun, move to the rhythm of an invisible melody, and embrace life with boundless enthusiasm are known as Dyne regulators. Those seeking mindful enlightenment often turn to the path of the Dyne Regulator, recognizing the power of harnessing the energy of life within themselves. They understand that this force is comprised of their own desires, actions, and experiences, and strive to refine and control it through dedicated training. This vital force is made of what they consume, what they want to strive for, and what they choose to do about it.

These emotional, biological, and spiritual essences can condense with training into tangible aether. The ebb and flow of personal enlightenment can be used to grant powerful abilities, as well as one's own limits becoming known and broken. This power, known as Dyne, is unique to each individual, manifesting differently depending on their consumption, aspirations, and choices. As a Dyne Regulator grows in their understanding of this energy, they may find that they are able to wield it with increasing proficiency. However, it is important to maintain balance and keep a clear mind, for if a Dyne Regulator ever fails maintain the balance within they may lose access to their powers until they can find emotional solace in themselves or address the source of their unrest.

Those who seek enlightenment through the path of the Dyne Regulator must be dedicated and disciplined, for the journey is not an easy one. But for those willing to put in the work, the rewards can be immeasurable, offering a newfound sense of purpose and understanding of the worlds within.

Dyne is recovered after a long rest and should it reach zero, you lose all benefits of the Dyne Class. Even if they do not require Dyne to use.

Twin Rifts:
The first ability you learn to harness with your own dyne causes spatial tears to open with simple body movements. You can use your personal training to create a pair of portals within 10 x Proficiency Bonus feet of you as an action. The portals pairs are linked together and can only be created in line of sight of the Riftmaker. No portal can be created through another portal. Basic portals can be up to 7 by 5 feet in size and lasts for a number of rounds equal to your level. You can also create a smaller pair of portals that function as the basic portals. These small portals are no larger than two by one foot and evoked as a bonus action. Alternatively, you can perform a ten-minute ritual to create a larger pair of portals, up to 50 x Proficiency Bonus in feet, that can last for a number of minutes per round. All portals can be seen through normally and one can choose the side they pass out of. The cantrip Prestidigitation is cast on the portals when they are created, functioning identically to the spell, centered on the portal. Example, you can create an instantaneous and harmless sensory effect, such as a shower of sparks, a puff of wind, faint musical notes, or an odd odor emanating from the portal. At level six, the cantrip Minor Illusion also triggers on the portals when they are created. The Riftmaker chooses how these effects are manifested. Each pair of portals costs one point of Dyne Awareness to create. You may make an additional pair of existent portals at 9th and 17th Level. You can dismiss the portals at any time without effort. With effort, they can be dismissed by spending a point of Dyne to forcefully seal the portal pair. This decompressive slamming of the door deals 1d4 per proficiency bonus Thunder damage in five foot cubes at the same position as the dismissed portals were. The save DC equals 8 + Your Dexterity Modifier + Your Proficiency Bonus, against dexterity.

Unarmored Grace: You gain advantage on attacks made against you via Attacks of Opportunity. Gain +1 AC every four levels when not wearing armor.

Thinking With Portals: At 2nd level, your quick thinking and agility allow you to move and act quickly using your rifts. If set of portals are active, you may take a bonus action on your turn. This bonus action can be used to do any action aside from readying an action. Should the dash action be used, your jump distance is doubled. This can be done once per short rest.

Hype Up: You may at third level apply a Hype Up to your portals for the first ally, or yourself, that passes through. You choose the Hype Up when you open the connected spatial cracks initially. This bonus can be increased to stack two or more times up to your Hype Up Maximum. Any Hype Up on the portal lasts as long as the portal. Hype up charges on a being lasts as long as the portal. This costs Dyne equal to the times Hyped, in addition to the point spent creating the Twin Rifts. The being empowered by portals is the source of the ability when it is triggered.
Who - Target one creature you can see within your reach. That creature takes 1d6 Force damage in addition to your next attack. Stacks to Hype Bonus.
Where - Target one creature (including yourself) you can see within your reach. Move that creature to an unoccupied space within 5 feet. Stacks up to 3 times.
When - You may make one free attack upon exiting the portal. An additional use gives advantage. Multiple uses of this ability give advantage to other creatures that pass through, one per target.
What - You gain AC equal to your hype bonus that lasts until you are struck. Multiple uses of this ability give Temporary Hit Points equal to your level.
Why - Your next skill check can be made in a bonus action. An additional use gives advantage. Multiple uses of this ability give advantage to other creatures that pass though, one per target.


Ability score increase: At level 4 you may improve your ability scores. You may either increase one ability score by 2, or two ability scores by 1. Alternately, if using the feats variant, you may learn a feat. You gain another ability score increase at levels 8, 12, 16 and 19.

Extra Action: By spending three points of dyne faster than thought after you have reached the fifth level, you charge yourself with the brusqueness of the supernatural as a free action. At fifth level you gain an extra reaction action. At level 11 you may gain a reaction and a bonus action. At level 17 you gain a standard action as well as the other two. You can also use this ability to shake off negative effects faster. Durations of negative effects are sped up, up to a number of rounds equal to your Dexterity modifier.

Cracked Celerity: By sixth level you may spend a point of Dyne to wreathe your limbs in Dyne as a reaction. This allows you to grip, move and wield a single portal for the duration of your level in rounds. Gripping a portal normally cannot move it unless you use this ability. With this effect upon your limbs you can attack, dealing magical slashing damage of 1d4 per active portal. If you attack with the portal itself, the damage is raised to 1d6 per active portal. Should you move the portal, simply releasing it holds it in place in space again. You may angle a portal as a makeshift half-cover while this limb shielding is in effect.

Egress Evasion: At 7th level, you gain the ability to redirect an area effect that targets the space you occupy. When you are subjected to an effect that allows you to make a Dexterity saving throw for half damage, you may use a point of dyne awareness to take no damage on a successful save, or full damage on a failed save. Both outcomes leaves a set of portals within ten feet of you, one facing the effect that targets the area. These portals last a round and do not count against the number of portals you can set. On a successful save, The damage you would have taken had the effect been successful in hitting you is instead directed at a new target . This is centered on the new target using the original Save DC and Damage. It uses the original source's slot level, attack bonus, and spellcasting ability when appropriate.

Improvised Expertise: As a tenth level character, you learn to wield the portals in a more controlled manner. You gain Proficiency in using the rifts themselves as a weapon.

Prompt Preservation: At 14th level, you gain the ability to use your reaction to protect an ally from damage. If you are within the range that you can cast Twin Rifts and your ally is targeted by a damaging spell or ability, you may create a pair of portals and attempt to pull them through before they are hit. This gives them advantage on the saving throw, and lets you move them five feet after the results of the save are revealed. Using this ability requires spending 2 Dyne Awareness. The portals do not count against the number of portals you set and last for single round.

U-portal: At 18th level, you gain the ability to use a special portal as a free action to a spell that targets you or an ally. This portal does not have a twin, and it can be activated once per long rest. When activated, the spell will now target you instead, and you gain advantage on the saving throw. If you succeed on the saving throw, the portal will dispel the spell. And if the spell is 5th level or lower, it will have no effect on you and will instead target the caster using the caster's slot level, spell save DC, attack bonus, and spellcasting ability on a successful save. If you fail the saving throw, you take the damage normally.

Adroit Alacrity:

You add twice your Proficiency Modifier to figure out Twin Rifts' range.
Once per long rest, you can open a portal connected to another plane that you have been to before. This counts as a basic Twin Rifts casting but costs five points of Dyne.
You can cast Time Stop once per long rest by spending five points of Dyne.





The Spatial Specializations are the subclasses below.




“I recently had the pleasure of meeting an Outrunner Riftmaker, and let me tell you, they were a sight to behold. They had this ability to boost the speed of their allies, turning them into a blur of motion as they danced across the battlefield. But that's not all - this Outrunner Riftmaker was also able to conjure cracks in space that granted them and their allies invisibility. They used this ability to outmaneuver their enemies and gain an advantage, even in a lighthearted prank. And when they reached the pinnacle of their tale, they were able to further enhance the effects of their speed-boosting ability, granting their allies the ability to fly and increasing their strength to incredible levels...
It was truly a sight to behold, and I was thoroughly impressed by the abilities of this Outrunner. They were a force to be reckoned with on and off the battlefield. I have no doubt they will continue to leave a trail of destruction and footsteps in the oddest of places in their wake.”


Subclass:
Outrunner

Quick Question
At third level you specialize a bit. When Hype Up is given to a target via a portal, they gain the benefit of a speed boost for a single full round. For every point of Hype on a target, they gain a 10 foot move speed increase. At level nine this raises to 5 x your Dexterity modifier feet and again at 15th level to 10 x your Dexterity modifier feet. You may use this ability a number of times equal to your Maximum Hype Up per long rest.

Startling Glamor
At 9th level you may spend 2 Dyne Awareness to cast an invisible Twin Rifts. This portal pair casts Invisibility on you or an ally once. You can dispel this invisibility at any time. At any point during or within one round of when the spell ends you may make a skill based check with advantage. If you would already have advantage you may make a second, charisma based, check with a different skill as a bonus action and with advantage if the portal was hyped at all. The portals/effects last and are created otherwise like Twin Rifts.

Intensifying Inquiry
At 15th level you may spend 3 Dyne Awareness as a part of an action while someone is under the effects of Quick Question. You may add an additional Hype up to the currently ongoing buff, even if it would push it beyond your maximum. The effects of Quick Question last one additional round when empowered by this effect. All Dash actions taken with Quick Question active now grant a fly speed and an increase to carry weight by x4.


“I had the privilege of witnessing the Evocateur in battle, and it was truly a sight to behold. They were able to summon and use portals with terrific speed, darting around the battlefield and appearing where they were needed most. They also had the ability to provoke powerful beings from other planes, summoning creatures made of pure elemental energy that wreaked havoc on their enemies. The Evocateur's allies were also imbued with powerful elemental energy, gaining resistance to certain elements. It was clear that the Evocateur was a formidable force on the battlefield, and I was awed by their incredible powers. More so that I was alive to stand and see the warring spirits unfold. I still owe that Rftmaker a drink.”


Subclass:
Evocateur

Motley Scrutiny
At third level you specialize a bit. When Hype up is active on a target, they gain the benefit of an elemental shroud of your choice. A single attack made by the target does a number of d6 of the chosen elemental damage, up to your current Hype Up. At level nine, all their attacks count as Magical for the purpose of overcoming resistance and the target gains resistance to the chosen element for two rounds. At 15th level, this also grants immunity to non-magical attacks/damage. At 15th level this lasts for a number of rounds equal to your dexterity modifier. This ability can be used a number of times equal to your Dexterity Modifier per long rest.

Ensnaring Enquiry (Elementacles)
At 9th level, once per long rest, you may spend 2 Dyne Awareness as an action to cast a single, up to 20 foot portal on a surface as if it was from a Twin Rifts ability as a medium sized pair. This portal when cast summons a being from beyond made of pure elemental energy that is far too large to fit through. Its wiry tentacles can wriggle in and its body makes for dangerous footing. This spell functions identically to the spell Evard’s Black Tentacles except that it deals pure elemental damage of the type chosen at the time of summoning.

Vigorous Exchange
At 15th level you may spend 3 points of Dyne Awareness once per long rest to form a single portal that casts Planar Ally. The newly summoned ally can be paid in dyne as well, a 100 gold pieces per point spent at time of this ability’s use. They gain full Hype Up stacks even if only one was spent on the summoning portal.


“From the moment I laid eyes on them, it was clear that they possessed a deep and powerful connection to the forces of the universe. Magic? Maybe, maybe not. Their eyes seemed to shimmer and dance with inner scintillates and as they moved, I noticed a faint aura of energy surrounding them. It was as if they were constantly surrounded by a veil of pulsating energy, giving them an otherworldly appearance that was somehow calming. As they spoke, I couldn't help but be drawn in by the lilting cadence of their voice, which seemed to carry with it a hint of energy on its own. But perhaps most impressive of all was their mastery of longshot portals, which allowed them to instantaneously transport themselves and others across vast distances. And as they demonstrated some of their incredible abilities, I was left in stunned silence, marveling at the sheer power and control they wielded over the fabric of the planes. Their connection to the spatial forces of the universe, undeniable.”


Subclass:
Fluxist

Lilting Conjecture
At third level you specialize a bit. When Hype Up is given to a target via a portal, they gain the benefit of a shroud of banded energy waves that look like afterimages of the target. This shroud functions like the spell Blur, except that it does not rely on sight. At level nine Hype Up charges on a portal can now trigger twice, on two separate beings. At 15th level you may choose one form spell for the duration of the effect. These spells are Otherworldly Form, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, or Tensor's Transformation. This ability lasts for a number of rounds equal to the times it was Hyped up. The 15th level ability can only be used once per long rest.

Pressurized Parting
At 9th level you may spend 3 Dyne Awareness in an action to pop in and out of existence. This functions identically to the spell Thunderstep aside from two differences. The ability when used causes a sound as per the spell Minor Illusion instead of the clap. Additionally, the damage it would deal is instead used as a save DC. Creatures hit by this ability make a dexterity save or end up prone.

Wrinkled Reply
At 15th level you may form a long range but heavily condensed portal pair that connects as if the spell Teleport was used and is cast as if from Twin Rifts. This costs 3 points of Dyne Awareness and can be used only twice per long rest. All creatures that pass through gain the benefit of the Hype Up instead of just the first target.

JNAProductions
2022-12-29, 11:27 PM
Low HP, okay.
No armor, okay.
Give all Simple Weapons. Especially with improvised weapons, there's NO reason to not just give all Simple Weapons.

Dyne Awareness
Is there any rational to the total amount at any given level?
And when do they refresh? Short or long rest?

Portal Palm
Move actions aren't a thing.
And... The whole ability is a mess. It talks about cantrips affecting it, but how? This needs a total revision.

Unarmored Grace
Is straight-up better than a Monk's Unarmored Defense.

Thinking With Portals
This is Cunning Action, but a lot worse.

Hype Up
This is just... Confusingly worded. And unneededly finicky.

ASIs
All normal.

Extra Action
Move actions aren't a thing, still.

Improvised Expertise
Hell no. A +3 weapon is, for reference, very rare. That's just +3 to-hit and damage. This grants +3 to-hit when you get it and only gets bigger.
Now, admittedly, this class doesn't get Extra Attack as far as I can see, so it's really not gonna break the game on its own. But A Fighter 11/Riftmaker 6/Other Class 3 has three attacks with +17 to-hit. That's pretty nuts.

Egress Evasion
This is redundantly and confusingly worded, but is basically just a slightly costed Evasion.

Cracked Celerity
Does it still stun you when you lose Haste?
Look, imma stop here. Because... What does this class DO?

Let me put it this way. You've got a level 11 Riftmaker in a party that also has a Rogue, Fighter, Wizard, and Cleric. What does your PC actually do in a fight? You've got good AC, at least, but you've also only got one attack-sure, the hit bonus is +13, but it's one attack for maybe 1d8+5 damage.

Mythago
2022-12-30, 12:05 AM
Low HP, okay.
No armor, okay.
Give all Simple Weapons. Especially with improvised weapons, there's NO reason to not just give all Simple Weapons.

Dyne Awareness
Is there any rational to the total amount at any given level?
And when do they refresh? Short or long rest?

Portal Palm
Move actions aren't a thing.
And... The whole ability is a mess. It talks about cantrips affecting it, but how? This needs a total revision.

Unarmored Grace
Is straight-up better than a Monk's Unarmored Defense.

Thinking With Portals
This is Cunning Action, but a lot worse.

Hype Up
This is just... Confusingly worded. And unneededly finicky.

ASIs
All normal.

Extra Action
Move actions aren't a thing, still.

Improvised Expertise
Hell no. A +3 weapon is, for reference, very rare. That's just +3 to-hit and damage. This grants +3 to-hit when you get it and only gets bigger.
Now, admittedly, this class doesn't get Extra Attack as far as I can see, so it's really not gonna break the game on its own. But A Fighter 11/Riftmaker 6/Other Class 3 has three attacks with +17 to-hit. That's pretty nuts.

Egress Evasion
This is redundantly and confusingly worded, but is basically just a slightly costed Evasion.

Cracked Celerity
Does it still stun you when you lose Haste?
Look, imma stop here. Because... What does this class DO?

Let me put it this way. You've got a level 11 Riftmaker in a party that also has a Rogue, Fighter, Wizard, and Cleric. What does your PC actually do in a fight? You've got good AC, at least, but you've also only got one attack-sure, the hit bonus is +13, but it's one attack for maybe 1d8+5 damage.

I used the class in pathfinder/3.5 days and sometimes get I caught between the games and editions. Hence the wording. I made the changes I felt were honest and helpful. Dyne awareness is based off a few older systems of point based casting I did, and over the years, I have four rates of Dyne awareness growth. The Riftmaker is a battlefield rearranger and party buffer. I wanted them to have less attack options and more out of combat capabilities (they used to attack with the portals as improvweapons). The general use of the character was to make sure they were in the right place at the right time. OR that they can place the party in the right place at the right time. Did you have any other helpful tips, maybe explained why? Roleplaying games have both sides of that coin, in and out of combat. I feel like you may be focused on the combat side, which I appreciate too. I am currently aiming to reform an ability to be more combat focused.

"EDIT" I kind of get the feeling you legitimately DID stop reading. It comes across with a really negative attitude, your whole post. Of something you didn't even take in as a whole before making sure your distaste was known... that is really disingenuous. I will no longer be replying to you. Thanks for the few bits of actual help!

Razade
2022-12-30, 06:00 AM
Riftmaker is a strange title for an entire base class, just out the gate. Nothing too terrible, it certainly does make me think "this person makes portals" but they do more than that. Dyne however is really strange and the Dyne pool being called Dyne Awareness doesn't make a lot of sense with the lore. Awareness isn't something you quantify and even if they're at 0 they are still aware of Dyne. Calling it Dyne just seems to be a "Our mana is different" thing. I get this comes from something you've developed into a full system but without all that, it just seems proprietary for the sake of being proprietary.

Portal Palm is not only a clunky name, you're not making portals on your palms, but it's clunky as written. I can make two portals at 100 feet (at first level, that seems strong) but also two smaller portals as a bonus action that last...I actually don't know how long these minor portals last. Do they last as long as the regular ones? Can I have all four up at once? Do they all link together? What colors other than blue and orange are they? On top of that I can do a ritual to make another portal. Can I make my other four portals if I do the ritual?

Portals can only be made with line of sight. Can I make portals through portals? What does it mean, functionally, for momentum to be conserved through portals other than speedy thing goes in, speedy things come out? What dose it mean that Minor Illusion and Prestidigitation triggers on the portals?

There's another additionally in the box. Using them gives you advantage on the next being near them. That seems incredibly powerful. Does that advantage go to other players? Or just you? I can also have as many portals as my proficiency bonus but each portal pair counts as two. So I can't actually have four portal pairs until 8th level. I think that'd be an easier way to write that, and way more clear. Something like "You may make an additional pair of portals at 8th and 17th Level".

Portal Palm needs a lot more work to make it legible and clear. It probably should be broken up into a few separate things as well.

I don't agree with JNAP that Unarmored Grace is better than the Monk's ability. You get 10+Dex without armor. Everyone gets 10+Dex without armor. I don't really see how the additional Proficiency to attacks really makes sense being tacked on to this ability either.

Thinking With Portals sounds pretty nice until you start listing what you can't do. What can you do with it.

Hype Up: I agree with JNAP. Not only is this a lot of things to keep straight, and very finnicky at that with the Dyne casting, but some of the options don't make sense. The major text says it applies to anything that goes through the portal but all the abilities talk about targeting creatures you can see through the portals. These aren't bonuses you're applying to something that uses your portals like the text implies. A lot of them aren't even bonuses?

Improvised Expertise doesn't really seem to fit the flavor of the class at all, when it comes to improvised weaponry. Why are they so good at just using whatever comes to hand when nothing in the class seems focused on actual combat with weapons? It's all about Dyne and Rifts and suddenly they're Jackie Chan? Also moving +1 or -1 on your Initiative roll doesn't seem particularly useful most of the time.

Egress Evasion is just Evasion but not as good.

Cracked Celerity is confusing. What does it mean to "charge yourself with the abilities energy". That just seems to mean you can either dimension door and...why...your Rifts are better than that or you can give yourself Haste. It specifies "equal to your Hype Up bonus stat" but Hype Up does not mention a bonus stat at all. I CTRL+F'd the entire page and the only type Bonus Stat is used is in the entry for Cracked Celerity. You either edited something out, or edited something in without editing it in everywhere. Either way this needs to be rectified. How many charges of Cracked Celerity do you have? Is it a binary state? Are you either charged or not charged? How do you get recharged? Short rest? Long rest? It says "when the effect ends the target can move and take actions". What target? The thing targets you? So you can move and take actions? You could do that before? This is confusing.

What does it mean to be directly adjacent for Prompt Preservation? 5 feet? 10 feet?

U-portal is another in a long line of really finnick abilities. If X, then y, if Z then A but if A then B. Seems to be a theme, and not a great one. I don't really want spreadsheets to use an ability and it seems like I need a spreadsheet for every ability to keep it all straight.

You already get 10 + Dex for AC so it's sort of redundant to include that in Adroit Alacrity. Just say you may add your Proficiency Bonus to AC while wearing no armor or shield. The other bonuses either don't seem worth having or can be broken as hell. I have to spend points to expand the range of my portal palms from the 100 feet they've been since level 1? Great. But I can, once per short rest, open a portal to any plane I want? That's insane. And I can...adjust portal effects by 10 feet? What does that even mean exactly?

There's not much point looking at the Subclasses when the base class isn't ready for prime time. Overall, the class is confusing and not clear. You say it's supposed to be a buffer/battlefield controller but I don't get that at all from most of its abilities. You don't get any sort of party buff at all from what I can see. Almost all of the Hype Up bonuses either effect you, the Riftmaker, or enemies. There's exactly one option on Hype Up that specifies someone other than you or an enemy and that's just to move them around. Maybe there's more buffing in the subclasses but again, the base class isn't close to being usable, so anything in the subclasses that build on it are building on a bad foundation.



"EDIT" I kind of get the feeling you legitimately DID stop reading. It comes across with a really negative attitude, your whole post. Of something you didn't even take in as a whole before making sure your distaste was known... that is really disingenuous. I will no longer be replying to you. Thanks for the few bits of actual help!

I read the whole thing, including the subclasses even though I didn't comment on them and I don't think this is a particularly helpful or fair response to what JNAP wrote.

Mythago
2022-12-30, 08:13 AM
Riftmaker is a strange title for an entire base class, just out the gate. Nothing too terrible, it certainly does make me think "this person makes portals" but they do more than that. Dyne however is really strange and the Dyne pool being called Dyne Awareness doesn't make a lot of sense with the lore. Awareness isn't something you quantify and even if they're at 0 they are still aware of Dyne. Calling it Dyne just seems to be a "Our mana is different" thing. I get this comes from something you've developed into a full system but without all that, it just seems proprietary for the sake of being proprietary.

Portal Palm is not only a clunky name, you're not making portals on your palms, but it's clunky as written. I can make two portals at 100 feet (at first level, that seems strong) but also two smaller portals as a bonus action that last...I actually don't know how long these minor portals last. Do they last as long as the regular ones? Can I have all four up at once? Do they all link together? What colors other than blue and orange are they? On top of that I can do a ritual to make another portal. Can I make my other four portals if I do the ritual?

Portals can only be made with line of sight. Can I make portals through portals? What does it mean, functionally, for momentum to be conserved through portals other than speedy thing goes in, speedy things come out? What dose it mean that Minor Illusion and Prestidigitation triggers on the portals?

There's another additionally in the box. Using them gives you advantage on the next being near them. That seems incredibly powerful. Does that advantage go to other players? Or just you? I can also have as many portals as my proficiency bonus but each portal pair counts as two. So I can't actually have four portal pairs until 8th level. I think that'd be an easier way to write that, and way more clear. Something like "You may make an additional pair of portals at 8th and 17th Level".

Portal Palm needs a lot more work to make it legible and clear. It probably should be broken up into a few separate things as well.

I don't agree with JNAP that Unarmored Grace is better than the Monk's ability. You get 10+Dex without armor. Everyone gets 10+Dex without armor. I don't really see how the additional Proficiency to attacks really makes sense being tacked on to this ability either.

Thinking With Portals sounds pretty nice until you start listing what you can't do. What can you do with it.

Hype Up: I agree with JNAP. Not only is this a lot of things to keep straight, and very finnicky at that with the Dyne casting, but some of the options don't make sense. The major text says it applies to anything that goes through the portal but all the abilities talk about targeting creatures you can see through the portals. These aren't bonuses you're applying to something that uses your portals like the text implies. A lot of them aren't even bonuses?

Improvised Expertise doesn't really seem to fit the flavor of the class at all, when it comes to improvised weaponry. Why are they so good at just using whatever comes to hand when nothing in the class seems focused on actual combat with weapons? It's all about Dyne and Rifts and suddenly they're Jackie Chan? Also moving +1 or -1 on your Initiative roll doesn't seem particularly useful most of the time.

Egress Evasion is just Evasion but not as good.

Cracked Celerity is confusing. What does it mean to "charge yourself with the abilities energy". That just seems to mean you can either dimension door and...why...your Rifts are better than that or you can give yourself Haste. It specifies "equal to your Hype Up bonus stat" but Hype Up does not mention a bonus stat at all. I CTRL+F'd the entire page and the only type Bonus Stat is used is in the entry for Cracked Celerity. You either edited something out, or edited something in without editing it in everywhere. Either way this needs to be rectified. How many charges of Cracked Celerity do you have? Is it a binary state? Are you either charged or not charged? How do you get recharged? Short rest? Long rest? It says "when the effect ends the target can move and take actions". What target? The thing targets you? So you can move and take actions? You could do that before? This is confusing.

What does it mean to be directly adjacent for Prompt Preservation? 5 feet? 10 feet?

U-portal is another in a long line of really finnick abilities. If X, then y, if Z then A but if A then B. Seems to be a theme, and not a great one. I don't really want spreadsheets to use an ability and it seems like I need a spreadsheet for every ability to keep it all straight.

You already get 10 + Dex for AC so it's sort of redundant to include that in Adroit Alacrity. Just say you may add your Proficiency Bonus to AC while wearing no armor or shield. The other bonuses either don't seem worth having or can be broken as hell. I have to spend points to expand the range of my portal palms from the 100 feet they've been since level 1? Great. But I can, once per short rest, open a portal to any plane I want? That's insane. And I can...adjust portal effects by 10 feet? What does that even mean exactly?

There's not much point looking at the Subclasses when the base class isn't ready for prime time. Overall, the class is confusing and not clear. You say it's supposed to be a buffer/battlefield controller but I don't get that at all from most of its abilities. You don't get any sort of party buff at all from what I can see. Almost all of the Hype Up bonuses either effect you, the Riftmaker, or enemies. There's exactly one option on Hype Up that specifies someone other than you or an enemy and that's just to move them around. Maybe there's more buffing in the subclasses but again, the base class isn't close to being usable, so anything in the subclasses that build on it are building on a bad foundation.



I read the whole thing, including the subclasses even though I didn't comment on them and I don't think this is a particularly helpful or fair response to what JNAP wrote.





You gave a real sturdy response. I am truly grateful for the hardy attempt. I am rewriting parts as we post and trying to make them much clearer. Example: the Hype Up is and was always meant for the party too, the "you" use is for the one hyped up gets the effect, not the riftmaker unless they go through that hyped Portal. Few other intents as well to make things simpler or clearer. Plus as a few minor combat abilities as the other poster suggested. I can take that to use for this. I cannot use an opinion that gives no room for improvement. Point blank, you gave a clearer path I can use to remove, reframe or defend and reword things. He did not. I already ignored him and moved on. I am not really here to point out why he is being rude. I noted it, and took what was useful from his post and started the rewrites. I don't think a majority of his response was helpful or from a point of view that I would call constructive criticism. I stand by my actions. This will be the last of me talking about that particular poster.

I like Riftmaker, as all subclasses and the chassis work with spatial distortions. Noted though.

Dyne Awareness isn't purely awareness of the "mana" or "Ki" within, its personal enlightenment through living. I think some of the lore text got chopped for brevity. It's more like using the energy of themselves, instead of other living things, innate magic, or the stars, etc. From their drive down to what they ate last. Its about what they can pull from within. I used to call it Mindfulness Magic. One of my playtesters from back in 3.5 had a character that loved to dance. So he would use dancing as a drive, a personality trait and as a way to tell the stories he cherished. He would recover Dyne at the beginning of the day by joyously dancing. This motivation in the magic system is a bit open-ended so players have a bigger hand in where they draw most of their energy from. Dyne is a unit of force, and directly translates to Force or Energy. I can do without the awareness part I think though. I was never tied too much to it. Dyne is intended to be "combo your abilities in strange ways" themed from the outside. From the inside, it's about Dyne regulators living their best lives and helping themselves. Dyne is about being personally responsible for one's own happiness in a way. In 3.5, when they ran out of Dyne, I had them count as if they had a zero in a mental stat until they rested 8 hours. Would that be too harsh this edition?



"Twin Rifts" maybe for a new portal palm name? The intent here to is to have various sizes of portal one can open and use. You can not open a portal through a portal, I can add that line.
Maybe.... a reimagined rewrite?
Twin Rifts
The first ability you learn to harness with your own dyne causes spatial tears to open with simple body movements. You can use your personal training to create a pair of portals within 10xProficiency Bonus feet of you as an action. The portals pairs are linked together and can only be created in line of sight of the Riftmaker. Basic portals can be up to 7 by 5 feet in size and lasts for a number of rounds equal to your level. You can also create a smaller pair of portals that function as the basic portals. These small portals are no larger than two by one foot and evoked as a bonus action. Alternatively, you can perform a ten-minute ritual to create a larger pair of portals, up to 5 x (2 x dex modifier) in feet, that can last for a number of minutes per round. All portals can be seen through normally and one can choose the side they pass out of. The cantrip Prestidigitation is cast on the portals when they are created, functioning identically to the spell. At level six, the cantrip Minor Illusion also triggers on the portals when they are created. The Riftmaker chooses how these effects are manifested. Each pair of portals costs one point of Dyne Awareness to create. You may make an additional pair of existent portals at 9th and 17th Level. You can dismiss the portals at any time without effort. With effort, they can be dismissed by spending a point of Dyne to forcefully seal the portal pair. This decompressive slamming of the door deals 1d4 per proficiency bonus Thunder damage in five foot cubes at the same position as the dismissed portals were. The save DC equals 8 + Your Dexterity Modifier + Your Proficiency Bonus versus Dexterity.

Unarmored Grace: If you are trained in this class, you trained not wearing armor and not holding a shield. Your AC as a result of is equal to 10 plus your Dexterity modifier plus +1 for the number of portals active.

Thinking With Portals: At 2nd level, your quick thinking and agility allow you to move and act quickly using your rifts. As long as a set of portals are active, you can take a bonus action on each of your turns in combat. This bonus action can be used to do any action aside from readying an action. This special action must involve going through a portal. When you use this bonus action, your jump distance is doubled. You may wield a portal as a makeshift half cover as long as you are within five feet of one."

Hype up was reworded, its a classic ability for the class. It wasn't the same then exactly in older editions, but the core is still there. I think the most

The improvised weapons thing was my attempt to rule a way that speed and knowledge of kinetics interacts with even a simple pebble hucked at a elf. They started off with proficiency in them, so I felt it was a there for a resource to get wicked good at using things that shouldn't be, but was never tied to that either. Now they use the portals as weapons for short stints.

U-Portal was tough to simplify. The intent is "thing flies at you or ally, goes in and out the same side of a portal opened in response, hitting hopefully the initial aggressor."

The chassis worked in older editions, I know it will for 5E too over time.


Ill make some edits and check in later.

=EDIT

Did some BIG changes.

JNAProductions
2022-12-30, 12:56 PM
"EDIT" I kind of get the feeling you legitimately DID stop reading. It comes across with a really negative attitude, your whole post. Of something you didn't even take in as a whole before making sure your distaste was known... that is really disingenuous. I will no longer be replying to you. Thanks for the few bits of actual help!

Yes, I did stop reading. That's why I said I stopped reading.

Dyne
Still don't see when it recharges.

Twin Rifts
The ten minute ritual portals last "a number of minutes per round." I'm assuming that's meant to be "per level," but that should be fixed.
You don't actually grant the cantrips, and I'm still not clear on what they're supposed to DO with the portals.

Unarmored Grace
That's +2 AC for one round for one Dyne at level one.
At higher levels, it can get much higher, up to +6 by level 17, but it requires three actions (though some can be Bonus) to set up.

Thinking With Portals
You don't use actions to move-I'd change that to "If you use this bonus action to Dash."
It's also kinda insane-compare to Action Surge, which is one per short rest until level 17, where it becomes twice per short rest. This is similar to letting you Action Surge every round while a portal is active-not QUITE as good, but damn close.

Hype Up
This is still really wonkily worded, and quite finicky.

ASIs
All normal.

Extra Action
This really futzes with the action economy-a single extra reaction shouldn't break much, and at least the extra action is gated behind level eleven.

Improvised Expertise
The duration is kinda finicky, but otherwise the feature is pretty cool.

Egress Evasion
Do they get a save in response to their own attack?

Cracked Celerity
How long does the Overcharge last? Is it just forever, until you use Dimension Door twice?

Prompt Preservation
Do they move five feet before or after making the save? Because sometimes, moving 5' will make a save moot, if it gets them out of an AoE, for instance.

U-Portal
Pretty strong, but it is an 18th level feature, so seems fine enough.

Adroit Alacrity
This pumps your AC to insane levels-21 base, plus up to 6. That's the equivalent a Full Plate (18) Shield (+2) Defensive Fighting Style (+1) with a Legendary Full Plate (+3) and Very Rare Shield (+3).


Outrunner
Quick Question, does it apply to offensive Hype too? There is a damaging option, after all.
Invisibility, right? Because if it's Greater Invisibility that's nuts. Even at the 2nd level spell... Assuming Dex 20, that's 48 casts at level 9. That's a LOT.

Evocateur
I don't think allowing for a powerful 4th level spell to be cast 8 times at the level you get it, and up to 17 times at level 20... Seems rather much.

Fluxist
Lilting Conjecture is too much. Just too many buffs, too cheaply.
Pressurized Parting is also really strong.


Overall
I'll apologize for not going into the subclasses on my first read-through. There's apparently a lot of power in them, so that helps with the big question I posed to you.

But still... The main chassis and class doesn't do that much. Whereas the subclasses offer a few broken abilities you can try to spam.

I think it's fair, though, to reiterate the question: What is this class intended to do, in a normal adventure? What's their battle plan?

Razade
2022-12-30, 03:39 PM
I can take that to use for this. I cannot use an opinion that gives no room for improvement. Point blank, you gave a clearer path I can use to remove, reframe or defend and reword things. He did not. I already ignored him and moved on. I am not really here to point out why he is being rude. I noted it, and took what was useful from his post and started the rewrites. I don't think a majority of his response was helpful or from a point of view that I would call constructive criticism. I stand by my actions. This will be the last of me talking about that particular poster.

I honestly meant it in a broader sense because seeing you respond that way, and this way, makes me not want to engage further.

Mythago
2022-12-30, 07:03 PM
I honestly meant it in a broader sense because seeing you respond that way, and this way, makes me not want to engage further.

If you don't want to engage more in a completely at-will activity, you don't have to. Just like I am not required to take everything said to me without a grain of salt. If you want to stop responding, do it if it brings you joy or peace? While I would love to hear some more feedback on the changes to the class, should you want to not respond, no one will hold it against you. Thanks for the bits of help, either way! You read the class and applied "why this is not working" logic despite not commenting on every little thing. That aided a lot.

=EDIT on Riftmaker.