Plant Based Insults

[nickl_2000]

I would love lots of help for viscous mockery coming from a plant based person. Some things I've thought of so far.


Sniff Is the corpse flower blooming, or is that you?
Look at those clothes, you are a pretty pansy.
Your roots aren’t deep and your leaves are withered
Is that your attack? I’ve been hurt more by cottonwood seeds
Why don’t you make like a tree and leaf?
A Venus Fly Trap has sharper teeth than you!
You're so hideous that burrs don’t even stick to you.
A plant worked hard to make the air you're wasting
I bet every girl you’ve ever met only gives you yellow roses


Anything else you can think of? I would love ideas!

[Psyren]

All bark... no bite.
Your strategies die on the vine.
Your endeavors are fruitless.
Are your seeds as inert as you?

[JackPhoenix]

Your father smells of elderberries! (and your mother was a hamster)

[Brookshw]

Late bloomer, eh?
Lean towards the sun, not into the blows.
Brought plenty of fertilizer I see.

[yellowrocket]

That field is less corny than you.

I'd sooner have (insert appropriate pest) than work with you.

You casting bonfire would be less painful than hearing you talk.

Are you trying to reproduce more than a dandelion? (To the horny bard)

I've seen farmer's fields less seedy than this place.

[KorvinStarmast]

You're as tough as dandelion fuzz.

You're as cuddly as a cactus.

[nickl_2000]

Beautiful, thank you for the suggestions. Having good insults up your sleeve is always a nice little addition.

[Demonslayer666]

You're about as fast as molasses in Deepwinter.

You're family tree is more like a trunk.

String bean.