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View Full Version : The rest of the Order in their afterlife antechambers



JonahFalcon
2023-03-14, 01:26 PM
Roy and Durkon have already dealt with their afterlife advisors in one way or another.

Haley's admin: "So, I see you worked as part of a group."
Haley: "Pffft. Like they told me what to do."
Haley's admit: "Good point. Also liked the way you killed Crystal. Both times. Very devious."

Elan's admin: (after the interview) "I've seen less crazy from Chaotic Neutral. At least his heart is in the right place."

Belkar's admin: "This is not good. I see a lot of loyalty here, and you passed up plenty of times to murder Roy in his sleep for XP."
Belkar: "The dude seldom ever sleeps!"
Belkar's admin: "I'm not buying it. I see a lot of Chaos here but much less evil than we require. I'm referring you to my colleague in Pandemonium."
Belkar: "... do they allow cats?"

(V is barred from the afterlife. Stupid Corellon.)

ZhonLord
2023-03-14, 01:43 PM
V's auditor: "this is.... You cast.... Gods above!"

V: "I'm well aware of the harm I've caused with the familicide spell. I've undertaken numerous penances in order to attempt to right the scale in some small form."

Auditor: "I can see that. And frankly, even with the positive karma of saving the world at great risk to yourself, it's the only reason you're still here. True Neutral is about balance, rather than about living up to some specific ideal. Good and evil, law and chaos. The appropriate answer for the appropriate context. But even so.... This will be a close ruling."

V: "I understand and await your judgment."

enq
2023-03-14, 03:32 PM
Belkar's admin: "I'm not buying it. I see a lot of Chaos here but much less evil than we require. I'm referring you to my colleague in Pandemonium."
Belkar: "... do they allow cats?"

Hmm, I'm guessing Pandemonium is where CN people go? Because it occurs to me that the familiar you get as a CN mage in Baldur's Gate is a cat, so chances are good.

Tzardok
2023-03-14, 03:37 PM
Hmm, I'm guessing Pandemonium is where CN people go? Because it occurs to me that the familiar you get as a CN mage in Baldur's Gate is a cat, so chances are good.

Pandemonium is between Chaotic Neutral and Chaotic Evil. It's the plane titled as "Lulz." in this strip (https://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots1138.html).

hamishspence
2023-03-14, 03:40 PM
Yup. Some of the residents of Pandemonium are CE though - Howlers, and the god Erythnul, in the Greyhawk cosmology.

brian 333
2023-03-14, 04:13 PM
Elan's examiner:
Why did you push a big red button marked, 'Do not push?'

Elan:
It was big. And red. And it was a button. Marked, 'Do not push.'

Elan's examiner:
You risked the safety and security of the world for that?

Elan:
*Shows the exploding dungeon page.*

Elan's examiner:
Ah, I see. Next question...

Minrah's bartender:
Nice upgrade chit you have there. Got it in a quest to save the world?

Minrah:
Killed by a vampire cleric of Hel.

Minrah's bartender:
Awesome! Hey, don't worry about the tip.

Minrah:
I got a raise and saved the world too. But that's nothing! I adventured with a guy who was killed by a cleric of Loki. Twice in ten minutes.

Minrah's bartender:
Oh, man, way to overdo it! I'd like to get my hands on that cleric!

Minrah:
She's right over there. The guy sitting by her is the guy she killed.

enq
2023-03-15, 05:34 AM
I just read about Pandemonium. Sounds like a place of pointless misery. Why does the multiverse need this plane?


I adventured with a guy who was killed by a cleric of Loki. Twice in ten minutes.
:durkon: Are ye daft? I were res'rrected twice by a cleric o' Loki!

ZhonLord
2023-03-15, 05:52 AM
:durkon: Are ye daft? I were res'rrected twice by a cleric o' Loki!

:Hilgya: Though you WERE killed once by me in between.

Tzardok
2023-03-15, 06:10 AM
I just read about Pandemonium. Sounds like a place of pointless misery. Why does the multiverse need this plane?


And Celestia is a place of pointless joy. What do we need that one for? :smalltongue:



Pandemonium is the plane of fear - there is nothing but the screaming terror of the winds and the dreadful claustrophobia of the tunnels, there in the darkness, waiting for all. A place of madness. Anxiety. Dread. Pandemonium's peoples have been eroded by the shrieking gale, abraded by the vicious winds and the insanity they portend to become something tough, lean and edgy. Strangely, Pandemonium does have communities - the bizarre esprit de camp that forms between the desperate and wind-scoured souls is real and salient, born up simply by the impossibility that anyone standing next to you could do worse than the nihilistic void of the tunnels. The plane itself may be screaming in terror, somehow perceiving the limits of its own infinities and the horrible gulf beyond reality; certainly the winds must issue from somewhere, and the plane seems to collapse inward on itself as one enters the lower reaches.


I see Pandemonium as the plane of alienation. The plane where one grows estranged from oneself and the others. It's the plane of isolation, where dark things are deeply buried, but could come back to the surface any time. Dig enough, and the shames and fears of even the gods can be unearthed. But if you do, the plane will forever shatter your mind through madness, or crush your body beneath tons of stones. It's not a plane where you will be betrayed, murdered or enslaved. It's a plane where you will be abandoned, forsaken, forgotten. Whereas on Acheron, you will be crushed beside your brothers in arm, facing the futility of solidarity, on Pandemonium, you will be left alone to contemplate the futility of self, until the point you either break or definitively loose who you were.

In a certain way, Pandemonium represents, like all the chaotic planes, a kind of freedom: the freedom of having nothing. Nothing to lose. Nothing that binds you to place. No friends, no allies, no home, no shelter. You are a leaf in the wind, blowing you hither and yon until you smash into a rock.

JonahFalcon
2023-03-15, 01:26 PM
Just wait til Belkar finds out about the Citadel of Slaughter.

Belkar: "Wait a minute. 'No one goes to the Citadel of Slaughter on purpose, unless they serve Erythnul and seek to join in the deity's eternal slaughter.'?" (pulls out twin daggers) "Check and check."

Tzardok
2023-03-15, 01:35 PM
Does the Citadel even exist in OOTS' version of the Wheel?

brian 333
2023-03-15, 07:29 PM
It will if Belkar goes to Pandemonium.

No longer than 20 seconds after.

JonahFalcon
2023-03-17, 02:56 PM
Erythnul: "I like the cut of your gib."
Belkar: "Thanks, I have plenty of giblets I cut off people."

brian 333
2023-03-17, 10:52 PM
Erythnul: "I like the cut of your gib."
Belkar: "Thanks, I have plenty of giblets I cut off people."

"Here, let Mr.Stabby help me show you how it's done."

Lord Torath
2023-03-22, 01:30 PM
"Here, let Mr.Stabby help me show you how it's done."Wrong webcomic (https://youtu.be/blZMk5MklF4?t=30). Mr Stabby (https://www.handbookofheroes.com/archives/comic/origin-stories-mr-stabby) is in a different castle webcomic.