Looking for feedback on a hombrew race for 5e

[shadowseve]

So, I have a race in my world called the Alyra. They're a celestial race born of moonlight and music. I've created a alpha version of the race and I'm looking for feedback. I want it balanced so it's not overpowered but definitely on par with other races. So, without further ado, I present the Alyra.

-Alyra Race Details
Born from pure moonlight and music, the Alyra are a rare and exotic celestial race. Elegant, enchanting, and hauntingly beautiful, people have often described them as entrancing, their voice captivating, unearthly beautiful, and enrapturing. Often aloof, what few exist tend to shy away from civilization for fear of being enslaved and sold for their ethereal beauty and sensuality. Those who do venture out are often bards, sorcerers, paladins, or holy clerics who strive to promote justice and a brighter hope for their people.

-Alyra Traits

-Siren of the Eternal Moon
The voice of an Alyra is so hauntingly beautiful that it can enthrall their opponents. Starting at level 3 and under the light of the moon, an Alyra can sing causing her victims to become stunned for 1d4 rounds 3/day. There dc to resist is a d20 + proficiency bonus. At level 14 you can also add your charisma modifier to the dc to resist. You also gain proficiency in performance/singing.

-Moon's Guidance
As Alyra are created from moonlight, they have excellent vision at night. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. Unlike most darkvision, you can see color in darkness while you are under moonlight. As a bonus you can cast the light cantrip.

- Celestial Resistance
Alyra are a very resilient race able to shake of damage from other celestial or fiends. As a result they have resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage.

-Ability Score Increase
Alyra are very charismatic and elegent recieving a bonus to charisma and dexterity.

This is an alpha version and I'm still working on a bit of "fluff" for the description etc...

Feedback is most welcome!

[MrStabby]

-Alyra Race Details
Born from pure moonlight and music, the Alyra are a rare and exotic celestial race. Elegant, enchanting, and hauntingly beautiful, people have often described them as entrancing, their voice captivating, unearthly beautiful, and enrapturing. Often aloof, what few exist tend to shy away from civilization for fear of being enslaved and sold for their ethereal beauty and sensuality. Those who do venture out are often bards, sorcerers, paladins, or holy clerics who strive to promote justice and a brighter hope for their people.

Nice fluff. Kind of works.



-Alyra Traits

-Siren of the Eternal Moon
The voice of an Alyra is so hauntingly beautiful that it can enthrall their opponents. Starting at level 3 and under the light of the moon, an Alyra can sing causing her victims to become stunned for 1d4 rounds 3/day. There dc to resist is a d20 + proficiency bonus. At level 14 you can also add your charisma modifier to the dc to resist. You also gain proficiency in performance/singing.


This is crazy powerful.

Also, what type of save is it? Is it an action to use?

Bear in mind even power word stun, a level 8 spell, allows repeat saves. I don't think I can stress enough just how crazy this is. Even without the boost to DC at level 14.




-Moon's Guidance
As Alyra are created from moonlight, they have excellent vision at night. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. Unlike most darkvision, you can see color in darkness while you are under moonlight. As a bonus you can cast the light cantrip.
The best darkvision of any race...




- Celestial Resistance
Alyra are a very resilient race able to shake of damage from other celestial or fiends. As a result they have resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage.
Two damage resistances, the most of any race (though tied with AsimarI guess)


-Ability Score Increase
Alyra are very charismatic and elegent recieving a bonus to charisma and dexterity.
Two great stats. I mean I get the charisma bit but Wis or Int might be a better option.


Feedback is most welcome![/QUOTE]

This is looking far too strong. Even if you lose the first ability, which is probaby pretty damn powerful for a level 15 class ability, what is left is really powerful still.


Some suggested changes:
1) Don't stun enemies. Charm them. A more reasonable effect, one that is also somewhat resisted, aligns more closely with "hauntingly beautiful" singing. Make it use an action.
2) Moon's guidance. Don't make it just better dark vision than anyone else. You coud make it interesting by keping the 120ft bu make it only work outside. Or give the character clear vision in moonlight.
3) Alow the player to chose between radiant and necrotic resistance
4) With the other changes an adjustment to stats isn't needed, but if you wanted to switch to +2 cha and +1 to either wis/int it would line up broadly with common power levels.

[shadowseve]

Nice fluff. Kind of works.





This is crazy powerful.

Also, what type of save is it? Is it an action to use?

Bear in mind even power word stun, a level 8 spell, allows repeat saves. I don't think I can stress enough just how crazy this is. Even without the boost to DC at level 14.




The best darkvision of any race...




Two damage resistances, the most of any race (though tied with AsimarI guess)


Two great stats. I mean I get the charisma bit but Wis or Int might be a better option.


Feedback is most welcome!

This is looking far too strong. Even if you lose the first ability, which is probaby pretty damn powerful for a level 15 class ability, what is left is really powerful still.


Some suggested changes:
1) Don't stun enemies. Charm them. A more reasonable effect, one that is also somewhat resisted, aligns more closely with "hauntingly beautiful" singing. Make it use an action.
2) Moon's guidance. Don't make it just better dark vision than anyone else. You coud make it interesting by keping the 120ft bu make it only work outside. Or give the character clear vision in moonlight.
3) Alow the player to chose between radiant and necrotic resistance
4) With the other changes an adjustment to stats isn't needed, but if you wanted to switch to +2 cha and +1 to either wis/int it would line up broadly with common power levels.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the feedback. I will def tone it down. lol. and re-post the next version. I was actually looking for a charm type status but couldn't find it. I'll look again. Thank you! I'm a bit new to 5e.

[shadowseve]

New Edited Traits. As always, feedback is welcome. It's how I learn. lol.

Alyra Traits
Alyra are very charismatic and elegant receiving a bonus to charisma.

Siren of the Eternal Moon

The voice of an Alyra is so hauntingly beautiful that it can enthrall their opponents. Starting at level 9 as an action and under the light of the moon, an Alyra can sing causing her victims to become charmed for 1d4 rounds 3/day. There dc to resist is a WILL save d20 + proficiency bonus.

Moon's Guidance.

As Alyra are created from moonlight, they have excellent vision at night. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. Unlike most darkvision, you can see 120 feet in darkness and in color while you are under a full moon. As a bonus you can cast the light cantrip.

Celestial Resistance

Alyra are a very resilient race able to shake of damage from fiends. As a result, starting at level 3 they have resistance to necrotic damage.

Ability Score Increase

Alyra are very beautiful and graceful receiving a bonus to their charisma.

P.S When you say, "kinda works." Anything you would change?

[thoroughlyS]

I took a look at your first draft, and I actually disagree with MrStabby on most of the traits, with one major exception. Siren of the eternal moon is obviously the most impactful trait that the race has, and I do agree with MrStabby that your first draft was both very powerful and unclear about its mechanics. I will also add that you made some choices with the design that make its usage very "swingy" sometimes it will do nothing, and sometimes it will end an encounter, and there isn't really a way to account for that. The duration being 1d4 rounds and the DC being determined by a die roll instead of being static both stand out as things that aren't done in 5E. As MrStabby said, the stunned condition is also very powerful. And on a minor note, 5E doesn't do "per day" traits or features, stuff now recharges on a long rest. Also, most stuff is either once per short or long rest, or can be used a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus per long rest. This is all to say, that out of everything, I only really think this feature needs to be outright redesigned.


Moon's Guidance
As Alyra are created from moonlight, they have excellent vision at night. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. Unlike most darkvision, you can see color in darkness while you are under moonlight. As a bonus you can cast the light cantrip.
The best darkvision of any race...

Celestial Resistance
Alyra are a very resilient race able to shake of damage from other celestial or fiends. As a result they have resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage.
Two damage resistances, the most of any race (though tied with AsimarI guess)

Ability Score Increase
Alyra are very charismatic and elegent recieving a bonus to charisma and dexterity.
Two great stats. I mean I get the charisma bit but Wis or Int might be a better option.

This is looking far too strong. Even if you lose the first ability, which is probaby pretty damn powerful for a level 15 class ability, what is left is really powerful still.
Setting aside siren of the eternal moon, the rest of the race actually seems pretty standard. I think the best comparison is the aasimar. And since you aren't using the new lineage rules for ability scores, I will compare it to the aasimar published in Volo's Guide to Monsters.
Aasimar get the following traits:
+2 charisma and +1 strength, constitution, or wisdom (depending on the subrace)
60 ft. darkvision
resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage
can heal a scaling number of hp as an action once per long rest
light cantrip
1 minute transformation as an action once per long rest

I would also compare this to the eladrin (Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes) which get:
+2 dexterity and +1 charisma
60 ft. darkvision
proficiency in perception
advantage on saves against being charmed and can't be put to sleep by magic (a niche and flavorful bonus)
can stay awake for 4 hours per long rest
30 ft. teleport as a bonus action once per short rest that gets even better

Meanwhile, alyra get:
"a bonus" to charisma and dexterity (you don't specify how much, but I assume this is +2 and +1?)
120 ft. darkvision with color vision in moonlight (a niche and flavorful bonus)
resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage
proficiency in performance/singing (should mechanically just be the performance skill)
light cantrip
siren of the eternal moon (which DOES need a rewrite)

Compared to the aasimar, you are effectively trading STR/CON/WIS for DEX, and a small heal on a long rest for superior darkvision (with a flavorful bonus) and the performance skill. As long as the reworked siren of the eternal moon is roughly comparable to an aasimar's transformation, I don't see anything wrong with this set of traits. And against the eladrin, you trade perception, advantage against charm, and trance for 120 ft. darkvision, two resistances, performance, and a cantrip. So again, as long as the rework of siren of the eternal moon is roughly comparable to fey step, I think you're fine with this.




P.S When you say, "kinda works." Anything you would change?
Now this is a whole other can of worms, but in my opinion the lore for this race feels like a cross between elves and aasimar. If those two races are also in this campaign, then how do alyra stick out? What is special about their culture? Their beliefs? Where do they live? What do they do? What have they done (i.e. what history do they have)?



As for the new draft...

Alyra Traits
Alyra are very charismatic and elegant receiving a bonus to charisma.
You still haven't said how much this bonus is, and this new version is not strong enough to merit only increasing one ability score.

Siren of the Eternal Moon

The voice of an Alyra is so hauntingly beautiful that it can enthrall their opponents. Starting at level 9 as an action and under the light of the moon, an Alyra can sing causing her victims to become charmed for 1d4 rounds 3/day. There dc to resist is a WILL save d20 + proficiency bonus.
Pushing this back was not the way to fix this, as no race gives a new trait past 5th level. This still has a random duration, and the save to resist is a jumbled mess of writing. Also, this doesn't specify if it targets a single creature, or multiple creatures, if it's an AoE or has a range, or even if they need to hear the alyra. I would seriously look at how official traits, features, and spells list their effects. Also, I would swap to the feature being usable a number of times per long rest equal to your proficiency bonus.

Moon's Guidance.

As Alyra are created from moonlight, they have excellent vision at night. You can see in dim light within 60 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. Unlike most darkvision, you can see 120 feet in darkness and in color while you are under a full moon. As a bonus you can cast the light cantrip.
Having a changing range on this is probably going to cause some headaches. I say just keep the 120 ft. range. Deep gnomes get it, and they're fine.

Celestial Resistance

Alyra are a very resilient race able to shake of damage from fiends. As a result, starting at level 3 they have resistance to necrotic damage.
Paring this down to a single resistance is fine, but just give it at 1st level, like every other resistance. As an aside, not a lot of fiends deal necrotic damage. That's mostly necromancers and undead.

Ability Score Increase

Alyra are very beautiful and graceful receiving a bonus to their charisma.
This looks like an editing mistake, since you already listed this above.



Here is how I would stat up this race.
Alyra
The alyra are a young race like humanity, which have slowly spread across the world and even established a few empires in their time. They were created by a god of night, who loved the tranquil beauty of the sleeping world, and wanted to create a people that could carry that tranquility into the day, where they themself could never go. The alyra were gifted with a serene beauty, like the moon's reflection off of a lake's surface, and a voice that evokes the stillness of midnight. These qualities have attracted the attention of different cultures in many ways, not all of them beneficial. Many alyra have suffered at the hands of those which seek to keep them prisoner, and value them as little more than living ornaments.
Ability Score Increase. Your Charisma score increases by 2, and your Dexterity score increases by 1.
Age. An alyra reaches adulthood around 20, and can live for 100 years.
Size. Alyra stand between 5 1/2 and 6 1/2 feet tall and weigh between 100 and 250 pounds. Your size is Medium.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 30 feet.
Superior Darkvision. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can't discern color in darkness other than moonlight, only shades of gray.
Alluring Voice. You have proficiency in the Performance skill.
Celestial Resistance. You have resistance to necrotic damage and radiant damage.
Siren of the Eternal Moon. Starting at 3rd level, you can use your action to sing a hauntingly beautiful melody that stills the hearts of those around you. Creatures within 10 feet of you that can hear you must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC = 8 + your Charisma modifier + your proficiency bonus) or become charmed by you until the end of your next turn. While charmed in this way, a creature is incapacitated, and can speak only falteringly.
You can use this trait a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
I rewrote and expanded on the lore for the race, to tie them into the world, and added some of the basic stuff that was missing (age, size, speed). Superior darkvision is fine, seeing color in moonlight is fine, performance is fine, two resistances is fine. I removed light, because you already have the good darkvision, and this separates alyra from aasimar a little bit. The new version of siren is based off of the leonin (Mythic Odyssey of Theros) which gets a roar. Making creatures incapacitated is better than frightened, so I made it an action to do. I also switched it from short rest to proficiency times per long rest, which seems to be the direction these features are moving (look at the new dragonborn, eladrin, and lizardfolk).

[shadowseve]

There is actually only one confirmed Alyra in my world, which is not related in anyway to any world in dnd. And I did just a quick write up this morning before any coffee. So, there is only one confirmed Alyra as of now and that’s the empress who has ruled since the beginning of civilization. So not related to elves at all. I do have elves in my world but not aasimar. No humans for that matter. I was trying make the race payable and dnd beyond requires a certain amount of filler. It’s mostly the abilities I was initially trying to tune so it’s aligned with other races.


Though, you did a really good job on that, good job on the details, word choice. I’m usually good with that, but not before coffee. So, thank you. I will more than likely use a lot of the ability changes and maybe some of the more as I like what you did. Huge thumbs up👍

[thoroughlyS]

There is actually only one confirmed Alyra in my world, which is not related in anyway to any world in dnd. And I did just a quick write up this morning before any coffee. So, there is only one confirmed Alyra as of now and that’s the empress who has ruled since the beginning of civilization. So not related to elves at all. I do have elves in my world but not aasimar. No humans for that matter. I was trying make the race payable and dnd beyond requires a certain amount of filler. It’s mostly the abilities I was initially trying to tune so it’s aligned with other races.
If there is only one alyra in the world, why make it a racial option? Shouldn't the empress just have her own stat block? If you're allowing your players to be one, I assume more than just the players have to be around. And I wasn't saying they were related to elves. I was saying the lore you had for them made them fill the same conceptual space as elves. and hearing that the empress is functionally immortal just presses that point further. They are long lived, beautiful, aloof, and wary of the rest of the world, with strong ties to the moon? Sounds like elves to me.

[shadowseve]

If there is only one alyra in the world, why make it a racial option? Shouldn't the empress just have her own stat block? If you're allowing your players to be one, I assume more than just the players have to be around. And I wasn't saying they were related to elves. I was saying the lore you had for them made them fill the same conceptual space as elves. and hearing that the empress is functionally immortal just presses that point further. They are long lived, beautiful, aloof, and wary of the rest of the world, with strong ties to the moon? Sounds like elves to me.

So, despite the obvious issue with the race, thanks for the feedback! I hope you have a great day!

[JNAProductions]

I'll echo what's been said about the stunning ability-that's absolutely nuts and not in line with how to design for 5E.

I'll also echo ThoroughlyS's comment that, if that ability is toned down, it'd be fine for players. The rest is pretty standard.