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Phhase
2023-10-15, 03:11 AM
Visorak

A homebrew based on one of my favorite IPs, the Visorak are meant to be a group threat to medium-high levelled players.

The Visorak are four-legged bio-mechanical spiderlike creatures with vicious temperaments, about the size of a large dog or a small pony. They come in many breeds, but all share some common attributes, such as the ability to fire powerful wheels of energy dubbed "Rhotuka" ("Killing Wheel" in Northern Gnoll, the first to clash with the Visorak), a hard, pseudometallic shell, and most insidiously, a secondary venom that, instead of killing or paralyzing the victim, mutates them into a twisted, bestial parody of their old shape. When left to their own devices, they mostly exist in ragtag bands of 10 to 30, holing up in their preferred environments and preying on the surrounding landscape. Aggressive, mutated wildlife is a sure sign of a Visorak infestation. However, a sufficiently powerful leader can at times take command of Visorak, potentially building an army of hundreds, if not thousands of the things, a force capable of turning entire cities into hollow, web-shrouded shells prowled by mutated former residents lost to primal rage.

In practical terms, what biological components a Visorak has to offer are both foul-tasting and indigestible, if not outright poisonous. However, its mechanical components are composed of an organometallic compound dubbed Protosteel that seems not to be found elsewhere in nature, and is both light and durable. More importantly, organic bodies seem to harmonize and even integrate with it, instead of rejecting it, which makes it an ideal material for artificial limbs. This, among other reasons, makes Visorak corpses worth a fair amount to any self-respecting artificer, although the risk entailed may rightly make some think twice about hunting them.

Visorak are foul-tempered, highly territorial, and quick to agress. Though their strategy in combat varies between breeds, all display the ability to work in tandem with others of its kind, and the tactical cunning of a true predator. However, when marshaled under a strong commander, Visorak become ruthlessly efficient soldiers, capable of executing advanced tactics with exacting precision.

Although different breeds have many and varied abilities, most breeds share the following attributes:


Visorak
Medium Monstrosity. neutral evil
Armor Class: 18 (natural armor)
Hit Points: 55
Speed: 35ft, climb 35ft
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Strength: 15 (+2)
Dexterity: 19 (+4)
Constitution: 16 (+3)
Intelligence: 15 (+2)
Wisdom: 15 (+2)
Charisma: 5 (-3)
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Saving Throws: Dex +8, Con +6
Skills: Stealth +8, Acrobatics +8, Perception +6, Survival +6
Damage Resistances: nonmagical physical, necrotic, poison, radiant
Senses: darkvision 60ft, passive Perception 16
Languages: Visorak, Common (understands, but can't speak)
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Spider Climb: A Visorak can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Web Sense: While in contact with a web, a Visorak knows the exact location of any other creature in contact with the same web.

Web Walker: A Visorak ignores movement restrictions caused by webbing.

Web Call: While in contact with a web, a Visorak can silently communicate with any other Visorak in contact with the same web using vibration.

Pack Tactics: A Visorak has advantage on attack rolls against a creature if at least one of the Visorak's allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.

Actions
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Multiattack: A Visorak can make one mandible attack and either one attack with any Rhotuka, or any valid web action.

Protosteel Mandibles: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5ft, one creature. Hit: 10 (2d6 + 4) magical slashing damage. If the attack hits, the Visorak may also automatically grapple the opponent with its mandibles if it so wishes. If a Visorak begins its turn grappling a target with its mandibles, it automatically deals mandible damage, and whenever it would make a mandible attack, it instead makes a contested Athletics check against the target it is grappling. If it succeeds, it injects the grappled creature with poison. The target must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw, taking 12 (2d8 + 3) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If the poison damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralyzed while poisoned in this way.

Web Launch (Recharge 5-6*): Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 40/70 ft., one creature. Hit: The target is restrained by wet, sticky green webbing disgorged from the Visorak's maw. As an action, the restrained target can make a DC 17 Strength check, bursting the webbing on a success. The webbing can also be attacked and destroyed (AC 15; hp 15; resistant to fire damage, and nonmagical slashing damage; immunity to bludgeoning, piercing, poison, and psychic damage). If the webbing takes cold damage, it becomes brittle, losing its immunity to bludgeoning and nonmagical slashing damage and instead becoming vulnerable to any slashing or bludgeoning damage. If a Visorak is grappling an opponent with its mandibles, any attempted Web Launch automatically hits the grappled opponent.

Web Spin (Recharge 5-6*): As the spell web, except as follows. It has a range of 5ft and instead of a 20ft cube, the Visorak can create up to six 5ft cubes of webbing in any arrangement, as long as all cubes are adjacent to at least one other cube and one cube is adjacent to the Visorak. A 5ft cube of webbing has AC 15; hp 15; resistance to fire damage and nonmagical slashing damage; immunity to bludgeoning, piercing, poison, and psychic damage. If the webbing takes cold damage, it becomes brittle, losing its immunity to bludgeoning and nonmagical slashing damage and instead becoming vulnerable to any slashing or bludgeoning damage. Web Spin cannot be used if the Visorak is grappling an opponent in its mandibles.

*These actions share a cooldown. If one is used, both are disabled until they recharge. Roll for recharging only once, and restore both if it succeeds.

Basic Rhotuka Spinner: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/90 ft., one creature. Hit: 9 (1d10 + 4) force damage. If the force damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralyzed while poisoned in this way. All Visorak have access to this basic Rhotuka Spinner, a whirling wheel of turquoise energy.

Environment: Urban


Additonally, all breeds of Visorak each have their own unique qualities and Rhotuka:


Votharak are a highly aggressive and reckless strain of Visorak with a crimson carapace. They are adapted to heat, and can be found infesting volcanic vents, geothermal zones, and even particularly large forges or manufactorums. They relish melee, and are quick to surround and dismantle individual targets.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Volcanic

Damage Resistances: fire

Actions
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Searing Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/90 ft., one creature. Hit: Creatures stuck by this spinner are wracked with searing pain, as if on fire. The target's speed is halved, and whenever the target makes an attack roll or a saving throw before the spell ends, the target must roll a d4 and subtract the number rolled from the attack roll or saving throw. At the end of each of its turns, an affected creature can attempt a DC 16 Constitution saving throw to remove the effect. If the target is resistant to fire damage, its speed is not halved while affected, and a creature that is immune to fire damage is not affected by this Spinner at all.

Bonus Actions
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[I]Searing Rage (2/Short Rest)(Conc.): As a bonus action, a Votharak may enter a wild, berzerker rage. In this state, its speed doubles, it can make an extra mandible attack when it uses its Multiattack, it has immunity to nonmagical physical damage and fire damage, resistance to magical physical damage, immunity to the grappled and restrained conditions, and its shell glows red, emitting dim light out to 10ft. Additionally, if it hits and deals damage to an object, it ignores any damage thresholds and the hit becomes a critical hit. It also loses the ability to meaningfully communicate with any creature. This state lasts five rounds, but ends early if the Votharak's Concentration is broken.



The blue-shelled Boggarak favor swampy or lakeside terrains, although they shun the ocean. They display an odd single-minded selflessness, willing to sacrifice themselves in a second if it serves the goal of the collective.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Lake, Swamp

Water Strider: Boggarak are constantly under the effect of water walk.

Actions
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Hydrodynamic Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/90 ft., one creature. Hit: This Spinner has two effects depending on the target. If the target is underwater, they swell up and are subject to the levitate spell for 1 minute, rising 20ft automatically on the Boggarak's turn, and stopping once they reach the surface. The swelling also causes disadvantage on Acrobatics checks. If the target is not underwater, it instead takes 14 (2d10 + 4) necrotic damage from dehydration. Uniquely, this Rhotuka's flight is not affected if it travels through water.

[I]Transmuting Hum (2/Short Rest): As an action when within 5ft of another Boggarak that has uses of this ability remaining, a Boggarak may spend one use to emit a transmuting resonance at a target creature it can see within 60ft. The target creature must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw. On a success, the ability has no effect. On a failure, for 1 minute the target either suffers the Petrified status or is forced into gaseous form, as per the spell. This ability has no effect on a target immune to sonic damage.



The bright green Keelerak are the most mercurial and unpredictable breed. They are the most likely breed to break off an attack, should they either grow bored or locate easier prey. They string their green webbing in seemingly random patches, trying to blend it in with green foliage in order to snag unwise adversaries.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Jungle, Forest

Damage Immunities: acid

Actions
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Acid Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/90 ft., one creature. Hit: 14 (2d10 + 4) acid damage. If the target is an object, this virulent acid attack deals maximum damage and bypasses any damage threshold or hardness.

[I]Flying Guillotine (2/Short Rest): As an action, a Keelerak may leap into the air and begin spinning its razor-sharp legs like a buzzsaw. For three rounds, it gains a flying speed of 50ft (hover), and its movement may pass through (but not end in) spaces occupied by creatures. During this time, it is Incapacitated, but the first time it passes through a creature's space on a turn, that creature must make a DC 17 Dexterity saving throw or take 29 (5d10 +4) magical slashing damage, half on a success. After landing at the end of its third turn, a flying Keelerak spends its next turn Stunned as it shakes off the dizziness.



Partial to icy climes, the white-hued Suukorak are experts of preparation and logic, able to create complex traps, and willing to wait utterly motionless for days on end in order to capture prey. They prefer to attack from ambush with overwhelming force and tactical advantage. They always have contingencies in place for escape routes and are entirely willing to break off an attack early to restrategize if the tide is turning.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Arctic, Tundra, Mountain

Damage Immunities: cold

Motionless Torpor: If a Suukorak does not move on its turn and takes no actions other than the Hide action, it may use a 11 in place of the dice result of its Stealth check. If using this feature while its Natural Camouflage applies, a Suukorak does not need cover when taking the Hide action.

Natural Camoflage: In a snowy environment, a Suukorak has advantage on Stealth check made to hide.

Actions
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Imprisoning Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/90 ft., one creature. [I]Hit: Creatures stuck by this spinner are enwreathed in a spherical bubble of electricity that is just large enough to hold them for 1 minute. An imprisoned creature has three-quarters cover, and treats all other creatures as having three-quarters cover. For every 5ft an imprisoned creature moves, or whenever it takes an action that has an effect on something that is not confined to its space, it must make a DC 14 Acrobatic check. On a failure, it takes 9 (1d8 + 5) lightning damage, or half on a success. Each time it makes this check, success or failure, the DC of the next check increases by 2. Each time the check is made, the cage shrinks around the target. After the check has been made 5 times, the effect ends immediately after the action that triggered the check, and the target must make a DC 19 Constitution Saving Throw. On a failure, they take 30 (5d10 + 5) lightning damage and are Stunned until the end of their next turn. On a success, they take half damage and are not stunned.




Roporak are spies and opportunists. They often observe enemies from a distance, allowing others to wear down their defenses or distract them before they go in for the kill. They make ideal sweepers for intercepting fleeing foes. Roporak are usually position on high lookouts, to take advantage of their keen vision. Though brown by default, their active camouflage allows them to shift color to blend with their surroundings, a tactic they liberally use in combat to obscure their true position.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Mountain, Underground

Perfect Vision: Roporak can see out to a range of 5 miles in perfect detail. Their darkvision has a similar range, and treats total darkness as bright light.

Active Camouflage: Roporak can use the Hide action as a bonus action, and can hide without cover, even while being observed. If the Roporak moves or attacks, it is no longer hidden.

Ranged Superiority: A Roporak's Web Launch has 100/150 ft. range, as does its Basic Rhotuka.

Actions
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Disruption Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 100/150 ft., one creature. [I]Hit: Creatures stuck by this spinner take 8 (1d6 + 4) force damage and suffer a magical dampening effect for 1 minute. During this time, the affected creature must make a DC 16 Concentration check in order to cast any spell or use any magical ability. If the check fails, the action is wasted and nothing happens. Struck creatures must also make a DC 17 Intelligence saving throw or lose attunement to one magical item they are currently attuned to. The dampening effect does not apply to magic or magical abilities created by magical items.




Oohnorak are the most intelligent, organized and regimented of the lesser Visorak. Their black-clad figures can often be seen marching in orderly formations, responding to changes in battlefield conditions seemingly without orders, as if sharing one mind. They are the most reliable and obedient Visorak when being commanded by a being that has won their respect. Units of Oohnorak are idea for sowing chaos on enemy flanks, or breaking sieges, due to their expertise in psychological warfare.

They gain the following traits in addition to the default Visorak traits:

Environment: Underground, Ruins

Natural Deceiver: When rolling Deception checks, Oohnorak have a +8 bonus rather than the normal -3.

Vocal Mastery: Oohnorak, unlike other Visorak, can speak any language they know. When they speak, the sound can originate from any point within 60 feet of them. They can attempt a DC 17 Deception check to perfectly emulate any voice they have heard.

Whispering Mind: Oohnorak have telepathy out to a range of 30ft. Creatures do not need to share a language with the Oohorak to understand it, but must be able to understand at least one language.

Psychological Warfare: Oohnorak are constantly under the effect of the detect thoughts spell (DC 16). When an Oohnorak attempts a deeper probe of a creature's thoughts, the spell does not end if the creature succeeds on a saving throw or contested check, instead the Oohnorak cannot attempt a deeper probe on that creature again for 8 hours. Additionally, a successful deep probe of a creature's thoughts grants the Oohnorak the ability to speak one language the creature knows for 10 minutes.

Actions
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Numbing Rhotuka: Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 60/150 ft., one creature. Hit: Creatures stuck by this spinner must make a DC 17 Constitution Save or suffer the effects of [I]Ray of Enfeeblement for 1 minute. During this time, the creature also has disadvantage on attack rolls using Dexterity, Dexterity checks, and loses 10ft from all of its speeds. On a successful save, the effects last only until the end of the creature's next turn.





Kahgarak are a special, much more dangerous breed of Visorak. They are usually solitary, or accompanied by a small unit of lesser Visorak, and are rarely seen with others of their kind. They are much larger, stronger, and more intelligent than other Visorak, and only a very powerful, or very foolish person would attempt to suborn their will. Kahgarak use their mastery over shadow to facilitate rapid transport of themselves and their allies, as well as setting up attacks and ambushes from impossible angles.

Kahgarak
Huge Monstrosity. neutral evil
Armor Class: 20 (natural armor)
Hit Points: 190
Speed: 35ft, climb 35ft
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Strength: 20 (+5)
Dexterity: 22 (+6)
Constitution: 19 (+4)
Intelligence: 15 (+2)
Wisdom: 19 (+4)
Charisma: 10 (+0)
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Saving Throws: Str +8, Con +7
Skills: Stealth +10, Acrobatics +10, Perception +8, Survival +8
Damage Immunities: nonmagical physical, necrotic, radiant
Damage Resistances: poison
Senses: darkvision 300ft, passive Perception 18
Languages: Visorak, Common (understands, but can't speak)
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Spider Climb: A Kahgarak can climb difficult surfaces, including upside down on ceilings, without needing to make an ability check.

Web Sense: While in contact with a web, a Kahgarak knows the exact location of any other creature in contact with the same web.

Web Walker: A Kahgarak ignores movement restrictions caused by webbing.

Web Call: While in contact with a web, a Kahgarak can silently communicate with any other Visorak in contact with the same web using vibration.

Pack Tactics: A Kahgarak has advantage on attack rolls against a creature if at least one of the Kahgarak's allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn't incapacitated.

Raised Body: Creatures smaller than Huge can walk freely through a Kahgarak's space if they are passing beneath it. The Kahgarak's space is not difficult terrain (unless the Kahgarak itself is being climbed).

Siege Monster: A Kahgarak deals double damage to objects and structures.

Essence of Darkness: Magical Darkness does not affect a Kahgarak's vision, and it treats total darkness as bright light.

Actions
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Multiattack: A Visorak can make one mandible attack and either one attack with its Basic Rhotuka, one Body Slam, or any shadow ability.

Protosteel Mandibles: Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 10ft, one creature. Hit: 26 (4d8 + 6) magical slashing damage. If the attack hits, the Visorak may also automatically grapple the opponent with its mandibles if it so wishes. If a Visorak begins its turn grappling a target with its mandibles, it automatically deals mandible damage, and whenever it would make a mandible attack, it instead makes a contested Athletics check against the target it is grappling. If it succeeds, it injects the grappled creature with poison. The target must make a DC 18 Constitution saving throw, taking 18 (3d12 + 4) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If the poison damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralyzed while poisoned in this way.

Body Slam: The Kahgarak slams its body down, crushing creatures beneath it. Any creature beneath the Kahgarak must make a DC 20 Strength Save or take 19 (2d12 + 5) bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone.

Shadow Abilities (Recharge 5-6): The Kahgarak uses one of the following shadow abilities.

Door To Shadow: The Kahgarak opens a one-sided, two-way portal to the Plane of Shadow in front of itself that is 20ft in diameter and 5ft thick. This portal lasts until the beginning of the Kahgarak's next turn. If used while on the Plane of Shadow, the portal connects to the Material Plane. When traveling long distances on the Material Plane, a Kahgarak and any creatures following it move triple the base travel pace if they travel using the Plane of Shadow.

Zone of Shadow(Conc.): Ranged Weapon Attack: range 90/120 ft., 35ft radius area. Hit: The Kahgarak targets a space, and a 35ft radius sphere is created there. While the Kahgarak Concentrates, for up to 1 minute, the area within the sphere is under the effect of the spells darkness and silence. Kahgarak can see through the Darkness created by this effect.

Shadow Spinner(Conc.): Ranged Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, range 90/120 ft., one creature/35ft radius area. Hit: A creature struck by a Shadow Spinner must make a DC 17 Charisma saving throw. On a failure, it is banished to the corresponding relative location on the Plane of Shadow at the end of its next turn if the Kahgarak is still concentrating on the effect, as shadows swirl and envelop them. Creatures that succeed that are unable to see through magical darkness are instead only blinded until the end of their next turn.

Shade Awareness: While on the Plane of of Shadow, a Kahgarak always knows where it is relative to the Material Plane. It can see its relative location to a distance of 60ft as if it were there.

Great Rhotuka Spinner: Ranged Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, range 90/120 ft., one creature. Hit: 17 (2d10 + 5) force damage. If the force damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralyzed while poisoned in this way.

Environment: Any, Plane of Shadow


Hordika Venom: Named after the Gnoll word for a dire creature, Hordika Venom is a foul, chaotic mutagen secreted by the Visorak. When a non-construct creature is captured alive by Visorak, and not eaten, they spin a cocoon around it. The strands of webbing used are laced with bronze-hued barbs that contain the Hordika Venom. If the entrapped creature survives the long, grueling exposure to the venom, it emerges mutated and warped. The mutated creature often looks nothing like its previous form, and possesses abilities only loosely inspired by its former self, though the rough body plan is usually but not always preserved. The creature is always stronger and more powerful, but is likewise possessed of a feral, aggressive mindset that inspires destruction and violence. Sentient creatures changed by the Venom will suffer a frequent battles with the primal urges surging through thier new body.

sandmote
2023-10-15, 06:38 PM
Despite not knowing what IP this comes from, I will be stealing status effects.

And as I don't know what this comes from, I can really only comment on the math.

My main concern is a lot of the numbers seem arbitrary, and not in the "the numbers have to come from somewhere" sense so much as the "the numbers don't correlate with each other" sense. 5e has a fairly consistent method for determining save DCs, attack modifiers, and the flat bonus to damage on a hit. Save DCs are 8+proficiency+the relevant ability modifier (usually Constitution for saves involving poison). You've got the attack modifiers accurate for a creature of CR 9-12.

The existing format for two attacks with shared cooldown looks like this:

Breath Weapons (Recharge 5–6). The dragon uses one of the following breath weapons.

Fire Breath. The dragon exhales fire in a 60-foot cone. Each creature in that area must make a DC 21 Dexterity saving throw, taking 66 (12d10) fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Weakening Breath. The dragon exhales gas in a 60-foot cone. Each creature in that area must succeed on a DC 21 Strength saving throw or have disadvantage on Strength-based attack rolls, Strength checks, and Strength saving throws for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a success.


For the base Visorak stat block I get a defensive CR of 4 and an offensive CR of 6 (average for a total CR of 5).

The Votharak's immunities and additional attack each turn appear to increase all of its CRs to 6.
The Roporak's buffed Shadow Stealth would increase the defensive CR to 6, for an average that works out to 6 too.

The Suukorak is really weird. Treating the Imprisoning Rhotuka feature as a feature that deals a total of 70 damage if we use your listed average damage, the feature is excessive. I originally had a bunch of math here establishing offensive CRs given the listed damage, reducing the damage to 1d6+CON and 5d6+CON, and if you then make it 1/rest, but then I realized it is probably intended to work like a less extreme version of hitting a PC with banishment and the PC avoiding the damage entirely unless absolutely necessary. In that case I would actually suggest changing the initial damage to either 1d6+CON or 2d6 and just having it happen each time the PC acts or moves during the duration. Or at least increase the damage by 1d6 each time instead of increasing the save DC, so the fact the bubble pops (or when it pops, for people who know the setting) is less of a surprise. I'm also unclear if it pops at the end of the 1 minute duration, but I assume it ends harmlessly in that case.

For the Oohnorak's deception I would recommend increasing Charisma to 14. Expertise in deception will then justify that +8 modifier and this'll throw in a bonus to intimidation too.

For the Kahgarak I get a total CR of 14. Raised Body should specify passing through the Kahgarak's space doesn't count as difficult terrain, and I'd break Shadow Spinner into two separate effects (one for when it targets a creature and one for when it creates the area of silent darkness) just to make it easier to parse. Finally, Protosteel Mandibles should have a to hit modifier of +11, to reflect the fact the attack is dexterity based.

Phhase
2023-10-17, 11:04 PM
Despite not knowing what IP this comes from, I will be stealing status effects.

And as I don't know what this comes from, I can really only comment on the math.


Thanks ^_^. Not being familiar with it makes your judgement more valuable since you've got no preconceived notions! What's caught your eye?


My main concern is a lot of the numbers seem arbitrary, and not in the "the numbers have to come from somewhere" sense so much as the "the numbers don't correlate with each other" sense. 5e has a fairly consistent method for determining save DCs, attack modifiers, and the flat bonus to damage on a hit. Save DCs are 8+proficiency+the relevant ability modifier (usually Constitution for saves involving poison). You've got the attack modifiers accurate for a creature of CR 9-12.

The existing format for two attacks with shared cooldown looks like this:


Thanks, didn't know there was a precedent. I'll amend it. I'm somewhat aware of the schizo DCs. It just feels like some of the abilities should be easier or harder to resist? Like, they're not technically supposed to be on an exact even power scaling with each other. Abilities that straight up take someone out of a fight like Transmuting Hum should probably have a different DC to something like Flying Guillotine, which just does damage, right? As for modifiers, yeah I gave them a prof modifier of +4. I wanted them to be in the mid to high tier of threats, but be more threatening in numbers than alone. Thus I'm trying to strike a balance of not too grueling/wall of hp, and glass cannon.

Thoughts on the automatic damage on an unbroken grapple?



For the base Visorak stat block I get a defensive CR of 4 and an offensive CR of 6 (average for a total CR of 5).

The Votharak's immunities and additional attack each turn appear to increase all of its CRs to 6.
The Roporak's buffed Shadow Stealth would increase the defensive CR to 6, for an average that works out to 6 too.

The Suukorak is really weird. Treating the Imprisoning Rhotuka feature as a feature that deals a total of 70 damage if we use your listed average damage, the feature is excessive. I originally had a bunch of math here establishing offensive CRs given the listed damage, reducing the damage to 1d6+CON and 5d6+CON, and if you then make it 1/rest, but then I realized it is probably intended to work like a less extreme version of hitting a PC with banishment and the PC avoiding the damage entirely unless absolutely necessary. In that case I would actually suggest changing the initial damage to either 1d6+CON or 2d6 and just having it happen each time the PC acts or moves during the duration. Or at least increase the damage by 1d6 each time instead of increasing the save DC, so the fact the bubble pops (or when it pops, for people who know the setting) is less of a surprise. I'm also unclear if it pops at the end of the 1 minute duration, but I assume it ends harmlessly in that case.

For the Oohnorak's deception I would recommend increasing Charisma to 14. Expertise in deception will then justify that +8 modifier and this'll throw in a bonus to intimidation too.

For the Kahgarak I get a total CR of 14. Raised Body should specify passing through the Kahgarak's space doesn't count as difficult terrain, and I'd break Shadow Spinner into two separate effects (one for when it targets a creature and one for when it creates the area of silent darkness) just to make it easier to parse. Finally, Protosteel Mandibles should have a to hit modifier of +11, to reflect the fact the attack is dexterity based.

A thorough breakdown of CR like this is exactly what I need, thanks SO much. I'm good at bringing weird concepts to life, not comparing charts to see how the math compares.

Yeah, the way the imprisonment sphere is supposed to work is as a soft crowd control. The ability it's based on creates an electric sphere around the victim that slowly shrinks, but one can force their way through if they don't mind the pain. Perhaps it doesn't trigger damage when trying to affect something outside the field. Perhaps instead the victim can make an escape attempt as an action and takes damage on a failure? And the field shrinks and then pops over a number of rounds that's reduced when the victim affects something outside them? Teleportation probably escapes the sphere too.

It's weird, increasing their cha and giving expertise would work, but I'm afraid of special-casing the initial Visorak stat chassis? Does that make any sense? That's why I just gave them a high bonus.

Noted on the Kahgarak, thanks. (Now patched, also gave the Kahgarak absolute darkvision, since it makes sense.)

sandmote
2023-10-22, 09:06 PM
I'm somewhat aware of the schizo DCs. It just feels like some of the abilities should be easier or harder to resist? Like, they're not technically supposed to be on an exact even power scaling with each other. Abilities that straight up take someone out of a fight like Transmuting Hum should probably have a different DC to something like Flying Guillotine, which just does damage, right? Somehow this didn't register the first time. 5e usually tries to allow multiple saves before save-or-die effects, partially to make them harder to fail and partially to give a chance for counterplay (meaning, the target is now trying to figure out how to respond to the attack rather than simply having to eat it). At its most basic, you can make the petrification/sublimation effect require two saving throws: if the target fails the initial saving throw it is restrained, and the saving throw against the full effect is made at the start of the Boggarak's next turn. I assume the effect in the source material doesn't include an build-up, but I also kind of doubt it would take you out of the action for an entire minute. If you make the effect shorter (down to 1 round or allow repeating the save each round) that can also help balance it.


Thoughts on the automatic damage on an unbroken grapple? I'm now curious if you changed the numbers for the base Visorak, because I no longer get the same CRs when I try to double check I input this. Currently get a defensive CR of 4 and an offensive CR of 5. Probably shouldn't have waited a week before coming back.

For the damage itself, there's stuff like this among the 5e sorrowsworn, other biting monsters (ex: croaker and giant toad), and however you handle grappling solid stuff from the plane of fire, but I'd format it as two separate attacks to match those.

Repharasing the text from the giant toad I end up with:

Multiattack: A Visorak can make one attack with either its mandibles or to inject venom and one attack with its webs or Rhotuka.

Protosteel Mandibles: Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 5ft, one creature. Hit: 10 (2d6 + 4) magical slashing damage, and the target is grappled (escape DC 14). Until this grapple ends the visorak can't use its mandibles on another target. At the start of each of its turns, the visorak can choose to deal this damage again, without expending an action.

Inject Venom. The visorak makes one attack against a creature it is grappling. The target must make a DC 16 Constitution saving throw, taking 12 (2d8 + 3) poison damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. If the poison damage reduces the target to 0 hit points, the target is stable but poisoned for 1 hour, even after regaining hit points, and is paralyzed while poisoned in this way..


Yeah, the way the imprisonment sphere is supposed to work is as a soft crowd control. The ability it's based on creates an electric sphere around the victim that slowly shrinks, but one can force their way through if they don't mind the pain. Perhaps it doesn't trigger damage when trying to affect something outside the field. Perhaps instead the victim can make an escape attempt as an action and takes damage on a failure? And the field shrinks and then pops over a number of rounds that's reduced when the victim affects something outside them? Teleportation probably escapes the sphere too.
I'm not entirely clear why this isn't an area of effect, then.


Imprisoning Rhotuka: A guarding bubble of energy appears in a 15 foot sphere centered on a point within 90 feet the suukorak can see. If the edge of the sphere cuts through a creature's space when it appears, the creature is pushed to one side of the suukorak's choice. Creatures and objects have three quarters cover when attacked through the surface of the bubble. At the start of the suukorak's turn, the radius of the bubble decreases by 5 feet. Each creature within 5 feet on the inside of the bubble must make a DC 14 Dexterity Saving throw. On a failed save the target takes 9 (2d8) lightning damage and is pushed 5 feet toward the center of the bubble. A creature must also make this saving throw if it attempts to pass through the surface of the bubble. If the bubble would be reduced to a radius of 0 feet, it instead erupts, ending the effect. When the sphere erupts, each creature within 10 feet of the bubble must make a DC 14 Dexterity saving throw. Creatures that were inside the bubble when it erupts have disadvantage on this saving throw. On a failed save the target takes 27 (6d8) lightning damage and is stunned until the end of its next turn. On a success it takes half as much damage, and isn't stunned.


This version would probably be worth +2 AC and a total of +30 damage per round (before the -9 for the fact it replaces an attack with the basic stinger) for CR calculations. That's a defensive CR of 5 and an offensive one of 8, for an average that comes out to a total CR of 7. Reducing the damage dice for this ability to d6s brings down offensive CR and total CR by 1 each.