Where to meet players... Safely?

[JusticeZero]

When the world ended, the people I used to game with scattered to the four corners of the world. I have a well loved discord game, but I want to do things in person. I like GMing, I do heavy world building.
Problem is, I don't know anyone anymore, and the FLGS are all booked up.

I know the GMs I've played under have been like, "Oh, just invite people over to your house, that's what I do," and like... Good for you, mister six foot tall cishet white man in a suburban neighborhood, and I seem to remember that the last campaign you tried to run, one of the players turned out to be a card carrying fascist with alarming tattoos and a gun collection, and I don't remember anybody saying anything about that before I peaced out.

I'm a single girl with a couple of minority statuses, I have to be more careful, so... Suggestions?

[Anymage]

Depending on what sort of area you're in, libraries or colleges might have some space if you ask politely and you're not too noisy. And I've seen more than one comic shop or hobbyshop not normally associated with gamers be happy to host a table. I've also seen restaurants/bars with some board games that might not mind letting you tie up a table, so long as you're all good about ordering and tipping.

You can also network through game stores/comic shops/other nerd-friendly establishments or finding locals on discord or other gamer meetup type sites, and when one of the large cishet dudes proves himself to be understanding and an ally he might be mire comfortable opening up his house. That bit is more of a long term plan with too many maybes to be a good plan for near future use, admittedly.

[gbaji]

Yeah. Depends on the area, but many game stores (especially if they specialize in RPG style games), will often have space in the back or off to the side for gaming. And will often have stuff set up for that (posted schedules, etc). Could go hang out and play there, and then find people you like and you think would make for good players before jumping into the whole "Invite people into my home" bit. Or you can just run your games there.

Local colleges will likely have some gaming clubs/groups on campus as well. So those are great spots to go to that are reasonably safe environments, where you can meet up with other gamers, and be able to invite some of them to play a game with you.

I think in most of these cases, you do have to give a little to get a little here. You'll likely have to (probably want to) play some games at these locations and get to know the people there first, and then run your own game either right there, or at home with those you've picked. Most groups of gamers are pretty much desperate for more people willing to actually GM games, so just being willing and interested in doing that is a huge plus IMO. And those environments should provide a reasonably safe environment to meet the players ahead of time, so you can weed out the stinkers (well, as much as possible, of course).

[OldTrees1]

Problem is, I don't know anyone anymore, and the FLGS are all booked up.

Your local game store might still be a good option. I was lucky and my LGS ran Adventure's League with plenty of table space and new players. So I was an adventure's league DM for a year and then created a group from that. Although that LGS has since closed down. What do you mean that are all booked up? No walk-in RPGs due to limited table space / lack of organized play? Not enough chairs for a player to join an existing group?

[Bohandas]

If there's a public park with like tables that people can use that might work. Although that's dependent on the weather being nice,

[Satinavian]

It is not necessary that the GM provides the place. It can be a player as well. But that would require that you have at least one other player you trust and who is willing to do so.

[Vahnavoi]

If there is a local gaming shop, one of the better options is still to hang around there, even if it's booked up; you might meet other players in similar situation to yours. Going to a convention can serve the same purpose, though there, the answer to "where to meet players safely?" depends on answer to the question "well how safe are you in general?". One way or another you have to surround yourself and interact with unfamiliar people, you can't mitigate risks of that much beyond "meet at a public place during day time and have security on call". It's much easier to be overly careful and end up doing nothing, versus correctly assessing risks.

[glass]

If there's a public park with like tables that people can use that might work. Although that's dependent on the weather being nice,The OP lists her location as "Alaska" so I doubt the weather is nice enough to play outside all that often.


Anyway, twice in the past when looking for new players, I ended up meeting them/playing in a pub. I don't know if Alaska has British-style pubs per se, but maybe there is a bar or cafe that could host you in exchange for your custom?

[Satinavian]

Sometimes there are things like community centers or other public spaces that, while not focused on games, do provide citizens with a place to meet and do stuff.

[KaussH]

In Alaska your best bet is Library. At least in most the major cities from what I recall (Fairbanks and Ketchikan come to mind) Outside that, if its the off season and you have a little cash, some food places might go for it as long as you all get a meal.

[Jay R]

I don’t recommend trying to find strangers who play D&D. Every group I’ve played in since I left the University in 1977 has been built around known friends – some of whom might be learning the game.

Go where the people are who enjoy what you enjoy. Meet people and get to know them before inviting them into your home. I’ve found great success in the SCA. It turns out that people who enjoy mock combat, various crafts, and building a persona are very likely to enjoy simulated combat, painting minis, and role-playing.

My current group (six people, two genders, two races, three religious outlooks, at least three strong political opinions) all knew each other through the SCA, and we are all comfortable together.

[Bohandas]

The OP lists her location as "Alaska" so I doubt the weather is nice enough to play outside all that often.

Oops. I missed that part.

[KorvinStarmast]

Make new friends.
Invite them to play once they are already your friends.
(A much shorter version of JayR's post).

[JusticeZero]

What do you mean that are all booked up?
In this area, I've checked. Every evening from 5pm to close, the available tables are completely filled with CCG or wargames, great people but quite loud here. Saturday and Sunday there are also games during the day. They would accommodate me before 5 on weekdays, but warned that it's hard to find players for those timeslots. One game store said that there is a table in the corner available during one of the wargamer time slots, but noted that that game group is, for whatever reason, unusually shouty, and felt that I probably wouldn't be able to communicate with the players very well given the acoustics of the building.

[OldTrees1]

In this area, I've checked. Every evening from 5pm to close, the available tables are completely filled with CCG or wargames, great people but quite loud here. Saturday and Sunday there are also games during the day. They would accommodate me before 5 on weekdays, but warned that it's hard to find players for those timeslots. One game store said that there is a table in the corner available during one of the wargamer time slots, but noted that that game group is, for whatever reason, unusually shouty, and felt that I probably wouldn't be able to communicate with the players very well given the acoustics of the building.

I think I misread the final sentence, but it boiled down to there are 0-1 RPG groups using the FLGS in your area. So hanging around looking for other RPGs players in plain sight is not a great plan. If you play CCGs or wargames, you could socialize with those players and find out if any of them is also into RPGs.

However it sounds like the non LGS advice for finding fellow RPG players is going to be more applicable in your case.

[MrZJunior]

Like someone said above, libraries usually have rooms you can borrow.

The city I live in has a couple of museums with enclosed atriums that have tables and chairs. These are open to the public. I was in a multi year campaign that met in one of these.

[Easy e]

One of the easiest ways to meet people who are also into D&D is to wear a D&D themed shirt, clothing, or bag around and then see who responds to it in a "knowing way". You then get to know them via the usual social routes, then once you know them; find out if they have a group.

Slow and laborious BUT you often avoid bad game group fits. The last place I would ever go to game, is at an open table at a shop. It is a bias I have, as I do not game with folks I do not know a bit first.

If you are just looking for a location, that is a different kettle of fish. I have gamed in libraries, student/community centers, coffee shops, and bars. You may have to pay a small fee, and at the last two you may have to keep the drinks flowing. Fraternal organizations like the Eagles, Elks, Masons, and churches can also be good if you have members as part of your group.

[gbaji]

One of the easiest ways to meet people who are also into D&D is to wear a D&D themed shirt, clothing, or bag around and then see who responds to it in a "knowing way". You then get to know them via the usual social routes, then once you know them; find out if they have a group.

And, as I think someone mentioned previously, this is pretty much exactly what everyone is doing when at some kind of SCA type activity/event. There are some people who do that stuff actively, but don't also game (RPG even), but they are rare IME. So very very target rich environment, even if you are not interested in the re-enactment stuff yourself. Find the local chapter of whatever orgs exist, and then reach out to them. Join as a guest, hang out, get to know people. It will not take long before someone will start talking about the various RPGs they play.

Those environments are "mostly safe" (there are always some jerkwads in any crowd, but most of the SCA type folks I know will put the absolute beat down on anyone going overboard, being offensive, etc. And "beatdown" is not a euphemism here).

[Esprit15]

If you're in Fairbanks I recommend the Comic Shop if they're still open (been five years since I lived there). Lotta nice folks there, had good vibes as a gaming store. I think there's also an Amtgard group up there, which would be a great way to find gaming nerds who are mostly chill folks. I've had good luck with mine here in Missouri. Can't speak to what things are like in the other cities. If you're near Anchorage I'm sure there's a couple of gaming stores/groups you could meet folks through.

Also, hey once-neighbor! Love seeing other Alaskans on the internet!

[LibraryOgre]

I am, of course, going to second the option for a library.

I've run games in my libraries in the past. They are public places, though they may have the downside of wanting you to rent a room for something like a regular gaming group. Talk to the librarian, see if you can set up something as a program, or get some way of having a private or semi-private space; if you're a teen, you might have a teen area that can be used.

If nothing else, you can do meet and greets and session 0s.

[Witty Username]

Do you happen to have interested coworkers? I recognize I am in an area that has real weird workplace norms, but that could be a pool of people you already know at least some.

[J-H]

How I met everyone I've played D&D in person with, excluding one-shot PUGs when we had a FLGS. Using first initials so I can keep track.

A: My wife.
L: FLGS, I attended a couple of times and decided to DM, then did a quick pitch that some people shared around.
A: FLGS, same
S: FLGS, same
B: FLGS, same
D: FLGS, same
?: FLGS, same (forgot his name)
J: FLGS owner; yeah, I had 7 players for a while. FLGS shut down and we moved to someone's house.
B: Friend of D, invited as replacement well after FLGS closed.
J: Librarian, talked a bit and he used to own a comics shop... figured he'd be interested and he was.
D: Friend of S through work.
D: SO of the D immediately above
T: Sunday morning religious place (I think that's OK to say in forum rules?), had also seen him hanging out at FLGS some.
S: Mother of T, played until she started taking college classes; had also hung around FLGS some while her kids were in karate
E: Father of T. Played D&D back in high school in the 80s. Still playing.

The FLGS was definitely a good starting place. There's a good chance your FLGS has a Facebook page, or an e-mail newsletter, or both. See if the FLGS owner will advertise a game to see if anyone's interested. The first game I ran was Thursdays 5:30pm-9(ish) pm, which is an off-peak slot that worked for everyone except one guy who worked late every other week.

The accounting manager at work played D&D for a while, but quit when the DM stopped handing magic items out and started banning class features. I work remote, so he's 2 hrs away.

If you DM it, they will come...

[Psyren]

Even if the FLGS tables are booked, that's still likely a good place to meet like-minded people. In fact, it might actually be beneficial, as you'll have the opportunity to observe multiple tables and find a playstyle you gel with without having to commit to a schedule or maintain a character.

And who knows? Someone might not be able to make it one week or even drop out entirely, and you'll be right there.

[Draconi Redfir]

i found my game on meetup dot com. there was a twice-monthly meetup at a game store with several different games running that people could freely drop in or out of.


When the pandemic hit, my group went online, and recently officially broke off from the meetup group, and now meet in the library.

[RustyArcana]

Local libraries often have meeting rooms you can rent out for pretty darn cheap.

Starbucks are great for getting together, so long as you are respectful and buy coffee/food.

I know people go to Pizzerias and Denny's/IHOPs and play card games, even whole drafts.

Lots of office buildings are renting out office space and meeting rooms for an affordable amount of money per hour.

[Verte]

As far as meeting locations are concerned, I would agree that it sounds like your best bet is renting a room at a library or meeting at a restaurant that will be OK with one of their tables being taken for a few hours. It almost sounds like the FLGS was discouraging you from using the one free table they have. The FLGS in the last place I lived also was mainly taken up by wargames and Magic, and wasn't actually all that great for meeting people to play RPGs with, so I feel your pain there.

As far as meeting people is concerned, that can be more of a process. I did find one group through Meetup, so that could be an option. Overlapping hobbies could work, too. For example, I've found that people into improv comedy often also play RPGs, or at least have passing familiarity with the idea. Same with people into comics or science fiction or horror.... If the FLGS has game nights that are lower investment than the wargames, that could still be a way to meet people. I've personally found gaming conventions to be mostly misses for meeting people that I actually want to play with. Since you're happy to GM, that is definitely to your advantage. I personally only like GMing for people I've already played with before. Out of curiosity, how did you meet the people in your old group?

[JusticeZero]

Out of curiosity, how did you meet the people in your old group?
School that I am done with, my dad married someone who was a gamer who knew a couple of people, and a friend's husband knew a few people (That said, that's how we ended up with the scary guy with evil organization tattoos and a large weapon collection that only I seemed put off by...) A snowflake pattern of working out through contacts.

I don't have any local gamer friends to start a new snowflake with anymore.

[Anymage]

If you're asking questions about how to meet more gamers, you don't have many options. You can try to network through friends and possibly bring some friends into the fold, you can find internet spaces for local geek friendly places, or you can just post a flyer somewhere that's even vaguely friendly towards the idea and filter through what comes in.

The first requires either having a solid network in place or else putting in a lot of time to build one through whatever channels. (Generally by making friends through your other hobbies.) The latter two have to deal with the fact that the random sample of people who see your ad is going to have all sorts of people and many of them will be stinkers. You can prescreen a little through pregame online talking, but you'll still have some people who are good at masking until they feel comfortable enough to let the mask slip.

[Kardwill]

When the world ended, the people I used to game with scattered to the four corners of the world. I have a well loved discord game, but I want to do things in person. I like GMing, I do heavy world building.
Problem is, I don't know anyone anymore, and the FLGS are all booked up.


If you're already used to playing on Discord, maybe you could do some online games with your new players, just the time needed to know them a little more? And arrange some IRL group stuff (like dinner at a restaurant or at a pub), to meet them in person in a neutral and safe place, allowing you to check the social dynamic and to look out for stealth nazis? Maybe do a local con together, if you have them in your neighborhood?

That way, for your first "in person" game, they won't be scary strangers anymore. Especially since in a few month, the weather will get better and that first IRL game will have a few possible outdoors venues, like at a picnic table in a park. I don't have your concerns (I'm one of those 6 feet tall white cis dudes), but I have some severe social insecurities, and I think meeting new people outdoors is less scary than in a closed, unfamiliar place.

In any case, I really think your first meeting shouldn't be around the gametable. Learn to know each other on the net and meet in a neutral place before.

[Spore]

I'm a single girl with a couple of minority statuses, I have to be more careful, so... Suggestions?

I know it is easy for me to say but maybe just get a trusted person or two who watch TV or hang out in the other room with you.

[J-H]

If you're already used to playing on Discord, maybe you could do some online games with your new players, just the time needed to know them a little more? And arrange some IRL group stuff (like dinner at a restaurant or at a pub), to meet them in person in a neutral and safe place, allowing you to check the social dynamic and to look out for stealth nazis? Maybe do a local con together, if you have them in your neighborhood?

That way, for your first "in person" game, they won't be scary strangers anymore. Especially since in a few month, the weather will get better and that first IRL game will have a few possible outdoors venues, like at a picnic table in a park. I don't have your concerns (I'm one of those 6 feet tall white cis dudes), but I have some severe social insecurities, and I think meeting new people outdoors is less scary than in a closed, unfamiliar place.

In any case, I really think your first meeting shouldn't be around the gametable. Learn to know each other on the net and meet in a neutral place before.

I would find it slightly awkward to meet some other random D&D people with nothing in common but D&D... it's worked the opposite way for me where D&D - > relationships. Of course, this varies by person. One of the guys I play with also does farming, is retired mil/police/etc., has similar views, so we can just go on and on...

OP is in Alaska so I think outdoors play is only good for like 3 months a year, and there may be giant mosquitos in summertime, depending on where the OP is. Upside: Doesn't everyone in Alaska have bear / pepper spray and/or an appropriate caliber gun close at hand? I know I have heard about people having bear encounters in town in Ketchican (much smaller than Juneau / Anchorage).
I don't like the Texas summer heat, but I do enjoy the fact that the only animals around here that could randomly kill me are small enough to kill with a shovel.