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Starsinger
2007-12-18, 02:46 AM
So I want to make a bard.. but I don't want to be a musician or a singer.. anyone know of a variant that lets me get rid of that pesky Bardic Music?

ocato
2007-12-18, 02:54 AM
You can dance, chant, recite poems, or deliver speeches (orate).

Sky's the limit.

vanyell
2007-12-18, 02:55 AM
take perform (oration) be a brilliant speech writer
take perform (dancing) use body movements to inspire your allies.

I'm pretty sure there are PrCs that use both these abilities to get bonuses

EDIT: holy crap, I still can't see the post that ninja'd me

Nerd-o-rama
2007-12-18, 02:55 AM
You could always recite poetry (preferably inspiring war poetry, but whatever floats your boat), give inspiring speeches, or do any other sort of audible performance art.

However, if you just plain dislike the class feature, this (http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/variantCharacterClasses.htm#bard) simplistic alternate class loses all the inspiration abilities in favor of some Druid class features, though you still keep Countersong and Fascinate.

Blah, blah, ninjas, you know the drill.

ocato
2007-12-18, 02:58 AM
Sorry, I get a +10 racial bonus to bard thread posting.

Talic
2007-12-18, 02:58 AM
For bardic music, the effect must be a sonic one, as the description shows that all who can HEAR the bard get the bonus. So, dance is usually out, unless you are a truly inspiring Tap dancer.

Laurellien
2007-12-18, 03:03 AM
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/variant/classes/variantCharacterClasses.htm#bard should help.

Also, why do you want to play a bard and not do what the bard was meant primarily to do?

mabriss lethe
2007-12-18, 03:12 AM
I've played a variant that might be what you're looking for. Don't change a bit of mechanics. Just scrap the fluff and rewrite it. I took the mild mannered bard and turned him into a H.P. Lovecraft-esque cultist. Instead of singing inspirational songs, he new chants in long dead languages that filled him and his allies with unnatural power. He nixed carrying musical instruments and instead carried arcane sigils, dusty tomes of chants, whatever creepy prop you want... Instead of Bardic Knowledge, he had Forbidden knowledge, years of studying mouldering old scrolls, trading favors behind the scenes, and back alley wheeling and dealing had him up to his eyebrows in ancient legends, the latest gossip, and potential blackmail.

Starsinger
2007-12-18, 03:32 AM
Also, why do you want to play a bard and not do what the bard was meant primarily to do?

Well.. y'see.. The whole "my music is that good" doesn't sit well with me for this character..


I've played a variant that might be what you're looking for. Don't change a bit of mechanics. Just scrap the fluff and rewrite it. I took the mild mannered bard and turned him into a H.P. Lovecraft-esque cultist. Instead of singing inspirational songs, he new chants in long dead languages that filled him and his allies with unnatural power. He nixed carrying musical instruments and instead carried arcane sigils, dusty tomes of chants, whatever creepy prop you want... Instead of Bardic Knowledge, he had Forbidden knowledge, years of studying mouldering old scrolls, trading favors behind the scenes, and back alley wheeling and dealing had him up to his eyebrows in ancient legends, the latest gossip, and potential blackmail.

Y'mean Perform (Chant)?

JMobius
2007-12-18, 03:39 AM
Tangent, but the subject reminds me several years ago, my first D&D game, where my sister took on the role of the bard:

GM: Alright, so the bard opens her mouth in song, so beautiful and inspiring that...
Bard: Um, I don't know how to sing.
GM: You what? You did take ranks in perform like I told you, right?
Bard: Yeah, in buffoonery.
GM: Buffoonery?
Bard: It was on the list.
GM: Errr... um... you inspire the party to fight harder through a brief physical comedy act?
Me: God help us all...

cupkeyk
2007-12-18, 03:44 AM
Get the simple variant: http://www.systemreferencedocuments.org/35/sovelior_sage/unearthedCoreClass.html#simple-bard

combine it with any of the other variants that net you the flavor you like.

Chronicled
2007-12-18, 04:41 AM
I've DMed for a bard who had Perform: Ventriloquism. Extremely fun for him, but I don't know if I'd allow it again. You might try to get that approved by your DM.

Crow
2007-12-18, 10:35 AM
You could try to sneak Perform (Weapon Drill) by your DM. As you run through the movements, your blade whistles as it cuts through the air, creating a harmonious melody. Inspired by your display of weapon expertise, your allies take heart and join the battle.

Then you attack and your weapon expertise fails you. "Oh yeah, I'm still a bard."

Telok
2007-12-18, 10:56 AM
Perform (Insult)

"Hey barbarian, I've seen halfling grandmothers on their deathbeds hit harder than that! Put yer back into it you wimp!"

playswithfire
2007-12-18, 10:57 AM
For bardic music, the effect must be a sonic one, as the description shows that all who can HEAR the bard get the bonus. So, dance is usually out, unless you are a truly inspiring Tap dancer.

While wearing the slippers of battle dancing (http://www.imarvintpa.com/dndlive/items.php?ID=3184) in your dervish dance. I think the dervish dance can be inspiring, even if no other dance can, because you're both dancing and killing things.

Person_Man
2007-12-18, 11:27 AM
You could also just be a Marshal (http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/ex/20030906b), though they're quite weak. Good for low level games though.

Swordguy
2007-12-18, 11:38 AM
Perform (mime).

mabriss lethe
2007-12-18, 11:39 AM
Y'mean Perform (Chant)?

yeah. like I said, leave all the original mechanics intact and scrap the fluff. Give his abilities a darker twist on why (but not how) they function.

Prophaniti
2007-12-18, 12:20 PM
Perform (mime).

That's what the bard servant of the BBEG does to give the party a penalty.

Blayze
2007-12-18, 12:37 PM
Dammit, I was going to suggest being a mime. Ah well. I wonder if Perform (Improv) works? And would you get better results with more Bards with that skill combining their efforts?

Snadgeros
2007-12-18, 01:36 PM
Dammit, I was going to suggest being a mime. Ah well. I wonder if Perform (Improv) works? And would you get better results with more Bards with that skill combining their efforts?

+10 Circumstance bonus if any of them are named Wayne, Colin, Ryan, or Drew.

CrazedGoblin
2007-12-18, 01:38 PM
my Bard played the Bongo Drums, hes the one on my screen picture :smallbiggrin:

Mewtarthio
2007-12-18, 01:46 PM
Too bad Bards can't be Lawful. Otherwise, we could have a Bard with Perform (Oratory) who simply recites mantras and Imperial propaganda over a loudspeaker while the soldiers run around kicking puppies. Tell me that wouldn't be cool. Especially not when he starts casting enchantments on the enemies.

DeathQuaker
2007-12-18, 02:03 PM
For bardic music, the effect must be a sonic one, as the description shows that all who can HEAR the bard get the bonus. So, dance is usually out, unless you are a truly inspiring Tap dancer.

You could always houserule that for dancing, obviously the target has to be able to see the Bard rather than hear him, and Bardic magic requires that every spell has a Somatic component, rather than a verbal one. Dexterity loss would result in a 20% of spellcasting/bardic music failure rather than Deafness.

Or, option 2 is the Dancing Bard wears bells while dancing.

For a more martial Bard, you could always be a drumming soldier. Armies of old sometimes had drummers to 1. inspire them as they fought and 2. Send coded signals to units from afar (since the drums used tended to be quite loud).

BRC
2007-12-18, 02:04 PM
Take Performance Dance, get a cardboard box, set it on the ground, and inspire your allies with breakdancing.

Heliomance
2007-12-18, 02:48 PM
perform (Morris dance)

psychoticbarber
2007-12-18, 03:02 PM
For bardic music, the effect must be a sonic one, as the description shows that all who can HEAR the bard get the bonus. So, dance is usually out, unless you are a truly inspiring Tap dancer.

Totally yoinked for my next bard.

Azaul
2007-12-18, 04:10 PM
You could take Perform (Drums) and perform war marches. They are music, but not jazzy and no singing is necessary. It's not hard to picture a war march inspiring courage.

UserClone
2007-12-18, 06:30 PM
Be a Jester (Dragon Comp.) I <3 them.

Blayze
2007-12-18, 06:54 PM
I think I'll make a Bard who recites motivational, inspirational... limericks.

NEO|Phyte
2007-12-18, 07:07 PM
You could try to sneak Perform (Weapon Drill) by your DM. As you run through the movements, your blade whistles as it cuts through the air, creating a harmonious melody. Inspired by your display of weapon expertise, your allies take heart and join the battle.

Then you attack and your weapon expertise fails you. "Oh yeah, I'm still a bard."

Man, perform (weapon drill) would be AWESOME for a bard, due to the various bonuses it gets from your actual combat ability.
...And then you read the line where it explicitly cannot be used for Bardic Music.

JackMage666
2007-12-18, 07:11 PM
Perform (Death Stare)

Perform (Backflips)

Perform (Distraction)

All are good choices.

Fax Celestis
2007-12-18, 07:48 PM
Perform (Flaming Death).

Azukius
2007-12-18, 08:06 PM
being a bard and not singing is like being a fighter and not hitting things with heavy bits of metal, its what a bard is, otherwise you wouldnt be a bard.
Bard means singer.

JackMage666
2007-12-18, 08:10 PM
being a bard and not singing is like being a fighter and not hitting things with heavy bits of metal, its what a bard is, otherwise you wouldnt be a bard.
Bard means singer.
No, it means Lyrical poet. That doesn't necessarily mean singer.

1. One of an ancient Celtic order of minstrel poets who composed and recited verses celebrating the legendary exploits of chieftains and heroes.
2. A poet, especially a lyric poet.

In fact, generally a Lyrical poem is more like a modern day rap song, spoken to music in the background (generally played by the bard)

mostlyharmful
2007-12-18, 08:17 PM
perform (Morris dance)

Done that...:smallbiggrin: beware Thrath the Headsplitters stick and bucket dance, with a hanky in one hand and a monkey grip greatclub in the other...:smallredface:

purple gelatinous cube o' Doom
2007-12-18, 08:27 PM
I once had a bard who played the gong. It was great fun, and it doubled as a tower shield since I was a gnome.

Draz74
2007-12-19, 12:09 AM
I keep reading the title of this thread and thinking of the wimpy, girly prince in Monty Python and the Holy Grail :smallbiggrin: ... only he kept wanting to sing, while his dad was trying to stop him.

Starsinger
2007-12-19, 12:48 AM
I keep reading the title of this thread and thinking of the wimpy, girly prince in Monty Python and the Holy Grail :smallbiggrin: ... only he kept wanting to sing, while his dad was trying to stop him.

That was actually my inspiration for the thread name.. I saw said movie the other day with my friend (it was his first time watching the movie..)

Woland
2007-12-19, 01:12 AM
Perform (surgery)

Azukius
2007-12-19, 02:29 AM
beware Thrath the Headsplitters stick and bucket dance, with a hanky in one hand and a monkey grip greatclub in the other...

+2 versus elves

Iudex Fatarum
2007-12-19, 02:42 AM
I know of someone who actually built an optimized barbarian who got taken down by a bard wielding an adimantium flute NPC, said NPC had proficiency per DM, but think about it, you walk up are singing and when there is a rest in your music you whack things, (1812 overture?)
I also like my current bard who plays pan-pipes, and you name it else.