Favorite Quotes

[Koreku]

What are your favorite all-time quotes in OOTS? If you can't think of your favorite, just post some funny ones you found, that you like.

I'll post mine later - I have to look through again to find some good ones...

[Falconer]

Something from SoD

:redcloak: Yes, I'm certain that you grumbling, "Come on!" will definitely encourage the Dark One to replenish my daily spell allotment faster. I'm sure that will work out well for all of us.

[51la5]

:xykon: I think I just had a evilgasm

[someonenonotyou]

:xykon: cute, did you actaully grow a spine there redcloak
:redcloak: perhaps i just got hit with a piece of your when you expolted

thats not my favoriot but it close because after that redcloak became really cool

[TorJin]

:xykon: cute, did you actaully grow a spine there redcloak
:redcloak: perhaps i just got hit with a piece of your when you expolted

thats not my favoriot but it close because after that redcloak became really cool

Your signature is ironic.

[Vectner]

"I memorized explosive runes today"

[someonenonotyou]

Your signature is ironic.

why is it?

[Kreistor]

why is it?

Your sig comments about the lack of English grammar comprehension. You didn't use any capitals on sentences or names, failed to spell "favorite" properly, used "expolted" instead of "exploded", missed a comma after "favoroit" and before "redcloak", and "it close" should be "it is close". No shortage of English grammar mistakes.

[someonenonotyou]

its Complete Lack of Comprehending Simple English Language Rules Boy!

no its complete lack of it refers to that om to lazy to look over and cheakcfor mistakes

now can we get back to the quotes?

[Blue_C.]

its Complete Lack of Comprehending Simple English Language Rules Boy!

no its complete lack of it refers to that om to lazy to look over and cheakcfor mistakes

now can we get back to the quotes?

Ouch. I'm not a grammar or spelling Nazi (in fact, it took me two tries to spell grammar), but reading that made me wince.

But as for the topic:

:vaarsuvius: Truly, it is a poor omen when elves[sic] are doing stonemasonry.

I don't know that it is my favorite, favorite quote. But I can't remember what the real one is, so it will have to do.

[tenguro]

:belkar: "I'M A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"
:elan: "Uh-oh, I may need to dumb down my puns."

[Celébrith]

:thog: "oh, little ice cream friends! thog delays boredom driven rampage only for you!"

[TheAlmightyOne]

:belkar: It's as true today as when I started adventuring. When in doubt set something on fire

[sun_tzu]

Xykon's speeches at the end of SoD, both to Durokan and Redcloak. I mean, damn.:smalleek:
Also, "Oh, no. I wouldn't touch your skinny uptight ass with a standard issue ten feet pole, you overbearing self-righteous bitch." I mean, I like Miko, but she had it coming, and the delivery was awesome.

[Tempest Fennac]

I agree with Sun Tzu abou those SoD quotes (mainly because they were true). My favourite online comic quote has to be Elan attempting to help Roy with a bluff check when they are trying to get past the Ogre due to how blatently ineffective it was.

[Kelther]

:elan: "I'm inspiring competence!"

[Umbra]

From SoD: :redcloak:: What is it about our lives that make you think we might live to see age 20, much less 50?
:xykon:: Did they have a big sale down at the Testicle Store or something?
Right-Eye: So I only took out three credit cards in his name. Your drink's on me, by the way.


Online version:
:haley:: He's not useless, he's... use-impaired.

[Omicroncubed]

:thog: Not nale. Not-nale. Thog help nail not-nale, not Nale. And Thog knot not-nale while Nale nail not-nale. Nale, not not-nale now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not Nale, in jail
:elan: All hail door, king of Doorland

[Morty]

:belkar: Those paladins are like roaches.

[Sc00by]

:xykon: hey look I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one.

[Mauve Shirt]

From On the Origin of PCs

:innkeeper: What kind of room did you have in mind?
:elan: Well, I was thinking of something with a ceiling, a floor, and four walls.
:innkeeper: Are you certain, sir? Because rooms without fourth walls are very popular in this comic strip.
*both wink at audience*

[Heroic]

:elan: "Woooo I'm invisible"
:roy: "I wish that was true"
:belkar: "Its worse at my height"

:belkar: " I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!!"

[sun_tzu]

I agree with Sun Tzu abou those SoD quotes (mainly because they were true).
Heh. Ironically, while I loved Xykon's rant to Dorukan - mainly because it was really badass - I don't actually agree with what he said there. Quite the opposite - I'm fairly certain that there is no amount of force that cannot be defeated with the right tactic.

[Nidhögg]

There are so many, I (almost) don't know where to begin. But the first one is from what is probably my favourite-strip ever.

:roy: If I don't look directly at it, it can't kill my brain. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0127.html)


:Loki: She has flowers in her hair and bluebirds singing around her head. Who did you think she was, the bringer of pestilence? (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0501.html)


:vaarsuvius: Aha! A new spell level. (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0012.html)
:roy: L-E-V-E-L
:vaarsuvius: Huh?

[ZFR]

Too many good ones I don't know which to chose.

First one that came to my mind
"I got a 4! Did you hear me? I got -" (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0090.html)

Also all those wisecrack comments (mainly of Redcloak, but others too, like that Bringer of Pestilence mentioned) are great.

And most of thog's quotes.

And most of Elan's quotes.

And... and...

[memnarch]

A favorite of mine is:

:belkar: "So HE gets to unleash the fury, and I get a friggin' weiner dog???" (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0432.html)

[brilliantlight]

:haley: Oh well, I'll just have to accept getting twice the gold as the rest of you. :roy: You broght this on yourself, you know :haley: Yes. yes I did

An early example on how she knows how to run a con. If they complain that the pieces of rocks they got are worthless she will simply point out that she SAID they were.

[Icewalker]

I'm fairly certain that there is no amount of force that cannot be defeated with the right tactic.

Your name is quite apt.


Let's see...too...many...quotes....:smalleek:

I am now going to pick several comics completely at random, and pick the best line in each one.

Crap...well, I have to pick two from this first one:
Funny:
:roy: "You're accepting as credible a theory that came out of Miko's mouth."
:belkar: "Oh, right"

Serious:
:miko: "As the highest-ranking paladin in the Sapphire Guard, I find you guilty of Treason!"
Shojo: "Everything I did, I did for my people."


:roy: "This whole "job offer" stinks worse than an otyugh covered in sauerkraut on a hot day."


I forget the name of the creatures:
White tentacle dude 1: "You're gonna be just fine."
White tentacle dude 2: "I think...I'm starting to get some feeling back in my-"
Durkon and Hilgya: SPLAT!!


:belkar: "What? The Belkster don't have time for the fuglies!"
:vaarsuvius: "Support for my theory continues to accrue at an alarming rate."


:roy: "Anything I want, you say?"
:sabine: "Anything."
Window: KEEYSH
:roy: "Hey, you were right. that DID feel better than before. Nice piercings, though."

[Zarah]

"The wheels on the bus go round and round..." (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0186.html)
I dunno why, but that picture of the dragon saying that makes me crack up every time. Also, from the same strip:

:vaarsuvius: "Fascinating. I cannot help but notice that the disintegrated remains of a dragon are indistinguishable from those of a human, or a halfling, or a dwarf."
:roy: "Point taken."

[The Wanderer]

:nale: (Pretending to be Elan) Oh, so you think you can come up with something more clever than Nale did?
:vaarsuvius: (Blasting Nale) Apparently.

:roy: (to Belkar) Your approval fills me with shame.

:xykon: Hey, that guy was your supreme leader right?
Hobgoblin chief: Yes. Yes he was.

:redcloak: Change in plans. Send 15... no, 20 warriors up the cliff on, uh, scouting duty. Tell them to shout if they don't find anything.
:xykon: *Sniff* My little Redcloak is all grown up!

:xykon: Hey, I just regenerated a finger. Guess which one?

:xykon: Hey wait, I know who you are now! You're that guy! The one that kept getting pissed at me for not remembering... something!

:roy: (When Elan is doing the naked thing) What are you waiting for?
:durkon: It's a touch spell...

Goblin: Did you ask him about our 401K plan?
:redcloak: Now is probably not the best time...

:Belkar: Getting paid to kill things. The cornerstone of the world economy.

And plenty of others, some of which have been mentioned already. (Especially Xykon's speech to Redcloak at the end of SOD, because it's just so sadistic and evi and hits like a punch in the gut). But this is a good start for now.

[Penquin47]

"In lieu of paradise, can I just get a framed photo of this exact look on my dad's face?"

[shadowdemon_lord]

The first one's been done before but it's so good...

:xykon: I think I just had an evilgasm


My second one isn't a line, so much as it's an entire comic. Half-Ogre, spiked chain, spring attack, combat reflexes, the perfect combo. Oh yeah, and a cliff:amused: . That was just to cool.

Other's escape me. Probably because it's like 3 in the morning.

[Robz_defheadz]

:haley: and your wasting time making out with some whore. We're all angry Elan
:belkar: Not me. Score!

:thog: Thog wonders how Thog will cope with life outside jailhouse walls. Prison changed Thog.
:elan: We were only in there for 40 minutes.
:thog: Prison changed Thog quickly

[brilliantlight]

Another one
:miko: By the twelve gods, I didn't know your carts were filled with so much filthy lucre :haley: I'll let you know I scurb that lucre every day until it shines.

[Griemont]

You're trying to kill me, you fruit-filled bastard! (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0091.html)

In or out of context, it's great :smallbiggrin:

[FoE]

:elan: NALE! :smallmad:
:sabine: NALE! :smallfurious:
:thog: Nale! :smallsmile:

:mitd: Order of the Stick! Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg!

:xykon: Sacrificing minions: is there any problem it CAN'T solve?

:roy: (from Origin of PCs) Diplomacy is cross-class for you, isn't it?

:roy: I can't believe I actually wanted to date you at one point. Can you imagine that relationship? "Honey, we're out of milk." "Clearly that means the gods want me to kill you!" Slash! Slash! Slash!

:durkon: Stay! Sit! Sit. Good boy.

Old Dirt Farmer: Hey, can I hire you kids to rescue me from a horrible witch?
Dirt Farmer's Wife: Only if I can hire them to save me from a half-man, half-chicken!

[smart thog]

" I want something evil. And no kidnapping virgans. I tried that once, did not work out so well. Its like getting someone who does not know how to hold a hammer to build your house"- Xykon

I have deep sated emotional problems - Belkar Bitterleaf

"I love being evil" -Nale

[Lolzords]

(After Elan being naked)
:roy: :Well, thankfully that little incident is over.
:belkar: :Trust me, it was worse at my height.

:roy: :Well, since SOMEBODY took away our monster, we find ourselves with no plot for today's strip.
:belkar: :How exactly is that diffrent from all the other strips?
:haley: :Shush.


I just picked two of my favourites at random, but my favourites consist of hundreds.

[obvious pun]

Strip 115
:belkar: run my pretty little chunks of XP, run!! "Surrender." Ha! How do they come up with this stuff?

[David Argall]

:thog: Not nale. Not-nale. Thog help nail not-nale, not Nale. And Thog knot not-nale while Nale nail not-nale. Nale, not not-nale now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not Nale, in jail

It's got a great claim to be best, but it is just a tad hard to quote.

[Dorizzit]

Angel :belkar:: ...and he kept stabbing them, again and again...He's a halfling, he's supposed to be jolly...Why isn't he jolly? WHY ISN'T HE JOLLY???

Devil :belkar:: Saving a life, though regrettable, is a small price to pay for a whole lifetime of unfettered killing.

[Flying Platypus]

(Right after Roy dies)
The thing that Roy keeps falling on: I feal like I should be somewhere...

[SilentNight]

:belkar: Let's see, I'm alone, wounded and barely armed...

Last two panels of #261. It's quite long but is still the best quote ever.

[Rollin]

Death Knight: Choose your doom, then, chicken-mage: Regular or Extra Crispy?

[Fiery Diamond]

I feel like I can't contribute much, because all the good quotes are taken.

I'm curious about what you added in [] here, Blue C.


But as for the topic:

Truly, it is a poor omen when elves[sic] are doing stonemasonry.
That IS how the plural of "elf" is spelled.

Back on topic, I thought of a great one from SoD:

MitD: Oh man... what am I supposed to do with all these zombies? The meeting about storming the castle was, like, months ago. And on Taco Night! And they really can't expect me to remember anything that is said on Taco Night.
MitD: Mmmmm...tacos. I wish I could have some right now.
Zombie: Brains.
MitD: No, tacos. Ta. Cos.

[SilentNight]

Death Knight: Choose your doom, then, chicken-mage: Regular or Extra Crispy?
A close second.

[Snuggles]

Mine would have to be:

:belkar: 'I am a sexy, shoeless, god of war!'

[SilentNight]

Mine would have to be:

:belkar: 'I am a sexy, shoeless, god of war!'

That would be more like the best phrase that hs ever been uttered in the history of mankind than the best OOTS quote. I stand by my choice.

[smart thog]

"You can't hold me here! I know my rights! Or, at least I know I have rights, and thats almost as good." - Belkar Bitterleaf

"Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"- the monster in the darkness

Part of me wants to know that story,while the other part the smarter part of me knows its better off in ignorance." - Roy Greenhilt

[Balkash]

look at the sig

[snorelax]

:thog: *sigh* Thog fears he will never again know the majesty of gumdrop mountain
:miko: the proper term is "smite evil" not "bump uglies"