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View Full Version : Land of 1000 Eye Rolls: Character Cliches



Maerok
2008-01-02, 06:16 PM
I'm sure anyone who's RPed has run into more than one occasion where someone (maybe even you) has described an action or had their character speak in such a way that you can't help but roll your eyes from the sheer magnitude of corniness. This especially happens when trying to assert the overall "coolness" of one's character, and seems far more prevalent with active, assertive characters.

1. Logic? Pfft. I'm right: Even when presented with thoughtful ideas and things to consider, this character will uphold even the thinnest of character traits.

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 06:20 PM
2. Spiked chains make sense, i saw it on an anime once
3. A Samurai sword could totally cut through stone
just off the top of my head
from
EE

Collin152
2008-01-02, 06:27 PM
Those last two aren't very cliche to my ears...
Just saying.

Reinboom
2008-01-02, 06:33 PM
3. A Samurai sword could totally cut through stone


It depends on the cut, the precision of the blade, and the stone it's cutting through. Usually.. no. But, If it's with an older material, and is stone made by man rather than natural, or not a very dense stone - it can.
Though, this isn't because the swords are made to cut through stone - it's because they are made to cut through finely crafted kabutos, and just so happen to cut through certain types of stone,

Anyways:
4. It's the size of the sword that matters!

Goats_o_Mjolnir
2008-01-02, 06:36 PM
Ive got a few

1. A barbarian with tatoos
2. I want a chocobo for a mount
3. "I dont care if half the party will die, thats what my character would do."
4. An NPC or PC named Bob

to touch on the katana issue, I remember argueing with an anime fan, he claimed that a samurai sword could cut through any other weapon. I proceeded to give him a lesson on Japans crappy ore and why the blades were so thin, to which he replied "Its a precision weapon!"
Tell it to my claymore

Iku Rex
2008-01-02, 06:36 PM
5. I'm a trained, professional warrior, yet no matter what I'll only fight with my great-grandfathers sword.

Hyfigh
2008-01-02, 06:39 PM
Anything regarding my avatar...

Prophaniti
2008-01-02, 06:43 PM
6. I'm the paladin, therefore I must be the party leader.

I've always found it amusing how much people seem to think a katana is an 'I win' button. There's a lot of things even a well-made sword can't slice through, especially in one cut. Aged oak, for example. Nope, not even a katana, I've seen people try.

Ozymandias
2008-01-02, 06:43 PM
Ive got a few
to touch on the katana issue, I remember argueing with an anime fan, he claimed that a samurai sword could cut through any other weapon. I proceeded to give him a lesson on Japans crappy ore and why the blades were so thin, to which he replied "Its a precision weapon!"
Tell it to my claymore

Katana are just swords of a certain shape with a peculiar forging method - the crappy Japanese ore (and its rarity) is the reason for the whole folding-thing which mitigated some of its disadvantages. That said, some well-made katana could cleave stone if applied properly - as could a zweihander in similar circumstances. The fanboyism associated with katana and the myriad anime fans who glorify it make me wish I didn't think they were so cool.:smallfrown:

7. An ancient, cursed ring
8. Being offered the choice between an ornate object and a plain one, with the latter being worth more.

Yeril
2008-01-02, 06:47 PM
9. Red haired lesbian elf rogues in black leather? anyone? no?

herrhauptmann
2008-01-02, 06:47 PM
A person with a 'moody' or 'gloomy' character sitting in the shadows of the corner of the inn. Not talking to anybody, just watching what happens.

If you don't want to talk to anyone, stay home. If you want to be a voyeur, stand outside and peep in through the window, it works so much better.

Citizen Joe
2008-01-02, 06:50 PM
Kill a hundred people now to stop an evil that will later kill thousands.

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-01-02, 06:51 PM
10) Playing a dark elf ranger, duo wielding scimitars, with a Panther for an animal companion... double points for an unpronouncable name that looks like your cat walked across the keyboard

11) a 'Lawful Stupid' paladin with a 'holier than thou' attittude

12) A klepto rogue who steals from their own party, then complains 'it's what my character would do!'.

13) Any disquieting character who utters the phrase 'my precious'

14) I have pulled the sword from the stone!

15) My father left me <insert epic weapon he never passed by the GM> and died before he could complete <some random quest the GM never approved of> and so I must take up his sword and quest to rule the party world.

Goats_o_Mjolnir
2008-01-02, 07:25 PM
"All orcs are evil and must die!"*staby staby staby staby*

An RPer who speaks in Old English

AmberVael
2008-01-02, 07:27 PM
16) "Run, I'll hold them off!"
See, if you know you're going to be overwhelmed and die, I really doubt you'll make that decision. There's normally a self-preservation instinct that will kick in. What's worse is that there are usually much more viable options if they would just stop and think.
Plus, you're not cool when you do that. You have to be Gandalf for that to be cool.

17) "I deflect the bullet/bolt with my sword..."
Okay, ignoring the fact that there is a very high chance of your weapon being irrevocably damaged from this tactic, no person has the reflexes to do that kind of thing- at least not while in the middle of combat. There is a reason armor was invented.

18)"My parents were killed by..."
If you have an angst backstory that drives you to do what you do, so help me DM, I will stab your eyes out with a spork.
...okay, no, I've seen some of that which was well done, but damn, people. Try something else for once. Your family doesn't have to be torched by a dragon which you swore to kill on the blade of your father.

19) "An old man with a white beard..."
In RPGs, any prominent old men obviously have all the secrets on earth and heaven. They can also kick your ass. :smallyuk:
Please don't play skilled old men who somehow ignore their age. If they really are that old, they should be OLD. Have them be hard of hearing. Make it so they have bad memory. Or walk slowly. Or SOMETHING that is indicative of their old age. I've only seen one man in my entire life who managed to stay reasonably fit into his elder years. His name is Fred Birchmore, and he rode a bicycle around the world as his claim to fame. Still, he wouldn't be up to slaying dragons.

rankrath
2008-01-02, 07:29 PM
16: Barbarian who attacks anyone who talks to him.

17: Bard who sings at every opening

18: one single large battle that resolves the fate of the world as opposed to a war.

wadledo
2008-01-02, 07:32 PM
*snip*

That was awesome.
Now I'm total revising my character's backstory, cause I don't want you to kick my ass if you see it.

Riffington
2008-01-02, 07:35 PM
16) "Run, I'll hold them off!"
See, if you know you're going to be overwhelmed and die, I really doubt you'll make that decision. There's normally a self-preservation instinct that will kick in. What's worse is that there are usually much more viable options if they would just stop and think.


Bah. Tell that to Liviu Librescu.

Goats_o_Mjolnir
2008-01-02, 07:38 PM
The DMs character betrays you

A character with a scar over his eye, proving his "bad-assery"

mostlyharmful
2008-01-02, 07:38 PM
18: one single large battle that resolves the fate of the world as opposed to a war.

That one's actually pretty reasonable in a "Medieval" setting, when you're fiefdoms resources are perched somewhere betwix diddly and sod-all you don't have a whole lot of tactical options when OVERWHELMING MILITARY SUPERIORITY comes hoving into view.

Citizen Joe
2008-01-02, 08:27 PM
17) "I deflect the bullet/bolt with my sword..."
Okay, ignoring the fact that there is a very high chance of your weapon being irrevocably damaged from this tactic, no person has the reflexes to do that kind of thing- at least not while in the middle of combat. There is a reason armor was invented.

Nova did a show on the making of the katana. They had a master deflect an arrow with his katana (actually he cut it in half). Now, it was staged, so deflecting in the middle of battle may prove slightly more difficult.


18)"My parents were killed by..."

... old age after a long and productive life... As their only heir, I get the farmlands and castle.

Tengu
2008-01-02, 08:33 PM
23. Ma father was a <insert anything non-human here> but I've never met him and was raised by my mother alone.

Ent
2008-01-02, 08:34 PM
I feel like every level 1 Wizard is a cliche.

Rich has covered almost every PC cliche I can think of.

Collin152
2008-01-02, 08:55 PM
16)
18)"My parents were killed by..."


Disease, and I'm adventuring to earn enough money to bring them back.

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 08:56 PM
Anything regarding my avatar...

Oh gods yes


10) Playing a dark elf ranger, duo wielding scimitars, with a Panther for an animal companion... double points for an unpronouncable name that looks like your cat walked across the keyboard

Hey, Drizzot D'Uden is a totally orginal character, he is just a dark elf who has been rejected by his people and must live a tragic anst filled life

Oh by the by, my games do have a NPC named Bob, Bob the goblin, personal assistant to the Big Bad

from
EE

Amras Seer
2008-01-02, 08:59 PM
........I came back and the village was destroyed.
I cannot tell you how many RP's start that way

The gods gave me a
MONKEY!!! shut up.

Mark of don't kill anybody.
An easy over-used pain in the ass.

Gardakan
2008-01-02, 09:01 PM
An half-orc named Thog barbarian that is to gentle(i'd liek you thog...)

Amras Seer
2008-01-02, 09:03 PM
HULK SMASH!!! I meant my barbarian......sorry

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 09:04 PM
A wizard/warlock/necromancer who just likes to blow things up

A fighter with a sword twice his size

A ninja who wears the sterotypical outfit all the time (better than a ninja who wears orange i suppose

Gnome nerd/tinkerer who blows stuff up

CE or CN dudes who just kill every thing they see


Anything mentioned in TV-Tropes on the topic
from
EE

Squatting_Monk
2008-01-02, 09:07 PM
A rogue/assassin/whatever who wears black simply because it looks cool, despite the fact that it only helps him hide in shadows if he's in a cypress swamp at midnight.

Anything with wings tacked on.

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 09:27 PM
Gimilt the dwarf, the comedy relief short guy who hates comments about his height and beard
from
EE

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-02, 09:36 PM
How cliched would a Lawful Evil, Mephistopheles worshiping high elf necromancer/blade scholar with an Ozymandias (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozymandias_(comics)) complex be?

Goats_o_Mjolnir
2008-01-02, 09:38 PM
A player who thinks thier bow user is Legolas
"I shoot three orcs while gliding on a sheild and singing!"
(I seriously think the LOTR movies bastardized a lot of rpers)

rankrath
2008-01-02, 09:45 PM
That one's actually pretty reasonable in a "Medieval" setting, when you're fiefdoms resources are perched somewhere betwix diddly and sod-all you don't have a whole lot of tactical options when OVERWHELMING MILITARY SUPERIORITY comes hoving into view.


If overwhelming military superiority comes at you, the last thing you want to do is meet it in an all or nothing battle. You'd hole up in a castle, and a long seige would begin.

Hippy druids.

Maerok
2008-01-02, 10:06 PM
For future RPGs: 'Clever' acronyms... Especially ones that spell out ordinary names (A.N.N.A., etc.).

EvilElitest
2008-01-02, 10:07 PM
Miko styled knights not used intellegently (Aka the players agree with her)
from
EE

MCerberus
2008-01-03, 12:16 AM
Here's mine:

1. Hippy Druids
2. Holy Spellcasters being religously intolerant
3. Arcane Spellcasters being cowards
4. Amnesia
5. Where was I? Oh, amnesia wasn't it.
6. AMNESIA

MisterSaturnine
2008-01-03, 12:25 AM
Here's mine:

1. Hippy Druids
2. Holy Spellcasters being religously intolerant
3. Arcane Spellcasters being cowards
4. Amnesia
5. Where was I? Oh, amnesia wasn't it.
6. AMNESIA

7. Oh, I have a good one! It's...*blink blink* What the...? Where am I? *WHO* am I?

8. Amnesia

TheGrimace
2008-01-03, 12:42 AM
A rope labeled "do not pull"

Twin Warriors who match eachother in every way physically, but cannot agree on a thing.

epic level commoners.

F.L.
2008-01-03, 12:46 AM
Chaotic = Absurd
Chaotic = Stupid
Chaotic = Crazy

AmberVael
2008-01-03, 01:22 AM
Here's an effect I'd like to term as "The Polar Ability Axis"

What am I talking about?
Well, when you have a main character (villains especially), you tend to notice a certain pattern.

1) Dumb + Strong
2) Weak + Smart
Choose one of the above.

Why is this so often true?
Is there some effect at birth that causes you to only be able to develop one aspect of your body? Is it impossible to become good in both directions?
Charles Xavier. The Hulk (you may argue against this, then realize that he can only be one at a time, not both). Lex Luthor. DnD Wizards. Raistlin Majere. Minsc (though 'go for the eyes, Boo!' is priceless :smallbiggrin:).
Perhaps depending on which way a child is carried around, an ability pumping liquid either flows to the head or the body, thus causing them to be either smart or strong.
Attention mothers! Carry your children by their feet please! We need them to be smart!

Zeful
2008-01-03, 01:46 AM
The level of tactics used by a character is directly proportional to their intelligence despite any training the character had 'off screen'. Example a character with a 10 Int is not expected to utilized any kind of 'advanced' tactics like ambushes and traps, despite that being a reasonable course of action.

herrhauptmann
2008-01-03, 01:57 AM
Attention mothers! Carry your children by their feet please! We need them to be smart!

You got it backwards vael!! Remember Achilles? He was hung in the river styx by his heel, making him nigh unkillable, and prone to think with his body than his head. Mothers need to carry their children by the hair.

A first level 8 Int fighter using metagame knowledge of spells to recreate common technology. "I hook a decanter of endless water on full blast up to a pipe, then route the water through an iron block with permancied 'heat metal' or 'chill metal' spell, this way I always have hot/cold water."

an kobold
2008-01-03, 01:59 AM
Every rogue and/or hafling acts like a kender.

Wordmiser
2008-01-03, 02:41 AM
Anything mentioned in TV-Tropes on the topicThat's hardly fair. I think that no matter the character trait/event/setting, it's going to be on that site.

...We nerds just have too much time on our hands not to exhaust and overinflate all those "wiki"-style indexes.

SurlySeraph
2008-01-03, 02:53 AM
Here's an effect I'd like to term as "The Polar Ability Axis"

What am I talking about?
Well, when you have a main character (villains especially), you tend to notice a certain pattern.

1) Dumb + Strong
2) Weak + Smart
Choose one of the above.

Why is this so often true?
Is there some effect at birth that causes you to only be able to develop one aspect of your body? Is it impossible to become good in both directions?

Because of a character is very powerful on both axes and isn't meant to be an exceptional individual, it often seem too perfect or Mary-Sue-ish. Fighting Superman gets irritating fast.

As for why you never see a villain who's dumb and weak: kobolds. I don't fear the wrath of Pun-Pun. :smallwink:

Khanderas
2008-01-03, 03:59 AM
<snip>
There's a lot of things even a well-made sword can't slice through, especially in one cut. Aged oak, for example. Nope, not even a katana, I've seen people try.
Heh. Quite funny if he actually was serious he could do it. If so, he needs to watch less fantasy/anime/kung-fu movies.

? ) Dwarf with a scottish (or scottish -ish) accent.

Regarding the above post, why someone is either big and stupid or weak and smart. All good when you need balance of somekind (like DnD). But many apply this "rule" to the real world or for stories (where everything is DM fiat of sorts).

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-01-03, 09:02 AM
Oh gods yes


Hey, Drizzot D'Uden is a totally orginal character, he is just a dark elf who has been rejected by his people and must live a tragic anst filled life



May I direct you to the last three cells of this comic (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0044.html) for further support of my position?

Zenos
2008-01-03, 09:42 AM
1. Stupid fighters/barbarians.
2. Deja Vu
3. Robed wizards
4. Large-breasted female wizards
5. Red-hairded female fighters
6. Deja Vu

Telonius
2008-01-03, 10:33 AM
Barbarian Mad Libs!

Hi, my name is (German-sounding name) (color-noun) . I am a (PC Race) from a barbarian village far to the (compass direction) . My (noun) was destroyed by a (monster) raid when I was (number less than twelve) . I escaped into the (geographic area) , where I was raised by (magical creatures) . I now wander the wastes, Great- (bladed weapon) in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my (noun) . I love to drink (alcoholic beverage) . The real stuff, mind you, not the (alcoholic beverage) that the puny (PC race, plural) drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n (animal) . Fear my battlecry, (exclamation) !

KazilDarkeye
2008-01-03, 02:11 PM
^ Where's the love for the Great Hammer?

EvilElitest
2008-01-03, 04:15 PM
May I direct you to the last three cells of this comic (http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0044.html) for further support of my position?

you just don't understand the Dark Elf ranger, he is totally original.
from
EE

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-01-03, 10:23 PM
you just don't understand the Dark Elf ranger, he is totally original.
from
EE

Yes, but his umpteen ZILLION clones, however, are somewhat less original.

Unless you are attempting to use some sort of scarcasm, which doesn't translate well via internet...

EvilElitest
2008-01-03, 10:58 PM
Yes, but his umpteen ZILLION clones, however, are somewhat less original.

Unless you are attempting to use some sort of scarcasm, which doesn't translate well via internet...

I was being sarcastic, i really should have included a smiley face:smallbiggrin:
sorry

I rather like Drizzt but his clones tick me off. Nothing against good drow, only if they at least try to be unique
from
EE

Zeful
2008-01-03, 11:17 PM
Barbarian Mad Libs!

Hi, my name is Rasputin Blueballs. I am a Elf from a barbarian village far to the southwest. My pet rock was destroyed by a unicorn raid when I was 2. I escaped into the fjord, where I was raised by gibbering mouthers. I now wander the wastes, Great- dagger in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my pet rock. I love to drink everclear. The real stuff, mind you, not the everclear that the puny dwarves drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a fish. Fear my battlecry, MEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWW!

Just for giggles and grins.

Mando Knight
2008-01-03, 11:58 PM
4. Large-breasted female wizards

Scratch the "wizards," write in "co-star," "PC," "Protagonist," etc. and you've got it nailed. And add scantily-clad... the females wear half as much clothing as the males... usually for the same defensive benefits...


The DMs character betrays you

A character with a scar over his eye, proving his "bad-assery"

I actually do have a scar over my eye... though it's small (~1 inch) and hidden in my eyebrow and doesn't give me any bad-ass points...

Amras Seer
2008-01-04, 01:46 AM
Hi, my name is Dumphat Rainbow**** . I am a Half Ogre from a barbarian village far to the Weast . My Favorite bottlecap was destroyed by a Toad raid when I was -3.141592 . I escaped into the Sewer , where I was raised by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I now wander the wastes, Great- Turkey in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my bottlecap . I love to drink heavy water . The real stuff, mind you, not the water that the puny sane people drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a Flea . Fear my battlecry, HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!!!!!!

MCerberus
2008-01-04, 01:50 AM
Oh - and level 1 PCs who killed (insert challenge inappropriate monster) in their history.

BizzaroStormy
2008-01-04, 01:59 AM
Barbarian Mad Libs!

Hi, my name is Aschloch BlueBalls . I am a Gnome from a barbarian village far to the not-east . My testicles were destroyed by a Tribble raid when I was 11 1/2 . I escaped into the Las Vegas Strip , where I was raised by stoners . I now wander the wastes, Great- Butter Knife in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my testicles . I love to drink Radiator Fluid . The real stuff, mind you, not the Radiator Fluid that the puny Swedes drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n amoeba . Fear my battlecry, OW! MY FREAKIN' BALLS ARE GONE !

Hehe, hows this? Oh and as for the LOTR bastardizing RPers, what about those of us who have never seen a LOTR movie all the way through. I saw about 30 minutes of the first one, got bored, and played soldier of fortune. (No i didnt read any of the books either)

horseboy
2008-01-04, 02:19 AM
Because of a character is very powerful on both axes and isn't meant to be an exceptional individual, it often seem too perfect or Mary-Sue-ish. Fighting Superman gets irritating fast.

As for why you never see a villain who's dumb and weak: kobolds. I don't fear the wrath of Pun-Pun. :smallwink:

Oh, there's something to be said for a Genius Bruiser (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GeniusBruiser).

Talic
2008-01-04, 02:49 AM
Barbarian Mad Libs!

Hi, my name is Ulrich the Fuschia. I am a Halfling from a barbarian village far to the North by Northeast. My cat was destroyed by a dire rat raid when I was 11. I escaped into the great tunnels , where I was raised by hydra. I now wander the wastes, Great-dagger in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my cat. I love to drink ale . The real stuff, mind you, not the ale that the puny dwarves drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n gerbil. Fear my battlecry, SPOON!
There. heh.

Lamoid
2008-01-04, 02:55 AM
Here's an effect I'd like to term as "The Polar Ability Axis"

What am I talking about?
Well, when you have a main character (villains especially), you tend to notice a certain pattern.

1) Dumb + Strong
2) Weak + Smart
Choose one of the above.



Nuh-uh! Batman is smart AND strong, so ya know, myth busted. Once again it has been proven that the only RIGHT answer to any question is "Batman".

Smeik
2008-01-04, 10:41 AM
But Batman is not a villain. :smallyuk:
Most of the time at least.

"My Pallie is a Templar. I fight for GOD."


actually, i once did that in a Shadowrun setting. the other runners all got crazy but feared to kill me. There was a big organization behind me that would be very annoyed if i vanished.:smallbiggrin:

"Look, i'm original, i play an gnome barbarian/fighter, etc."

No. it still does not work.

MorkaisChosen
2008-01-04, 11:01 AM
Usually large-breasted female characters who are willing to get naked at the slightest opportunity.

Obviously, these are played by guys.

Too much of that kind of thing inspired me to work out a Knight who beats the exrement out of anyone who says anything slightly unchivalrous- the problem being that the plan falls right into a couple of other stereotypes (on a quest to find the ancestral (Crazy?) Bastard Sword...)!

Zim
2008-01-04, 11:28 AM
Hi, my name is Conrad Black. I am a rich old man from a barbarian village far to the North. My Newspaper Franchise was destroyed by an RCMP raid when I was in my mid 60's. I escaped into the USA, where I was raised by Lawyers. I now wander the wastes, Great-suppoena in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my Newspaper Franchise. I love to drink Champagne. The real stuff, mind you, not the Champagne that the puny Canadians drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n old man. Fear my battlecry, "Objection! Your Honour!"

Well, it almost works with anything, dunnit? :smallsmile:

JadedDM
2008-01-04, 12:10 PM
These ones annoy me to some degree:

1.) All PCs are either huge sluts who sleep with everyone they see OR they are totally pure virgins who have never even kissed a person before. THERE IS A MIDDLE GROUND THERE!

2.) All PCs are childless, unmarried, and orphaned. They are also between the ages of 16 and 20.

3.) In the extremely rare instance of a player of mine choosing to play a demi-human, they will be reduced to a stereotype with a funny accent.

kamikasei
2008-01-04, 12:13 PM
2.) All PCs are childless, unmarried, and orphaned. They are also between the ages of 16 and 20.

In all fairness, one would expect rootless individuals filled with youthful optimism and recklessness to be overrepresented in the adventurer pool.

Cliche: the wizard is frail, weak, and disdainful of physical labour. Hey, in the real world, plenty of nerds and tech types are into martial arts and keeping in shape. Wizards may dump STR fairly often, but if they've opted for a CON bonus they might as well see the value of a brisk walk...

Ne0
2008-01-04, 12:21 PM
A good necromancer? I mean, honestly, many have tried to think of an original background, all have failed. I sometimes think that there are more CG necromancers than evil ones... :smallannoyed:

And an intelligent, handsome, kind, but shy boy/girl, who's only weakness is that he/she 'cares too much for his/her friends'.

mostlyharmful
2008-01-04, 12:30 PM
If overwhelming military superiority comes at you, the last thing you want to do is meet it in an all or nothing battle. You'd hole up in a castle, and a long seige would begin.

Hippy druids.

If you can hide in a castle it isn't overwhelming enough. And it doesn't have wizards which is pretty much the same thing.:smalltongue:

SpikeFightwicky
2008-01-04, 12:34 PM
Heh, take that Conrad Black!



Hi, my name is Rudolphlungren the Mother of Pearl. I am a half-elf from a barbarian village far to the north of 60. My Danger Bay was destroyed by a kobold commoner raid when I was 6. I escaped into the glacier, where I was raised by pixies. I now wander the wastes, Great-Greatsword in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my Danger Bay. I love to drink Absynth. The real stuff, mind you, not the Troll Piss that the puny drow drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a platypus. Fear my battlecry, EXISTENTIONALISM!!

Back on track (something similar happened in a game I was in):

X)Player X: My paladin tries to talk some sense into (generic yet attractive female BBEG).
Me: Why her?
Player X: Ummmm.... I sense good in her?
Me: She just torched an orphanage.
Player X: She... ummm... must be under someone's control. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance.
Me: What about those non-evil bandits you slaughtered? They didn't even register as evil but you had no trouble killing them. And then we met a troll and you started the fight and killed it. You didn't even try to detect evil on it.
Player X: *OOC* Dude, get off my case. I'm trying to role-play.

Later on, we're fighting an evil sub-BBEG:
Me: Hold on! I think there's some good in this guy! Lets try to convert him too!
Player X: No, I'm sure he's beyond saving.
Me: Wow... If I polymorph him into an attractive female, will you then try to save them?

X+1)Player Y: My PC can dual wield bastard swords without penalty.
Me: How, and Why, and how much crack does the DM need to allow this?
DM: I let him do it because it's a cool option. His character's totally badass and he shouldn't be penalized because his background says he trained for a long time.
Me: Did you read my background? I studied magic from an early age. Can I get extra spells or something?
DM: No, that's part of your character class that you studied. Stop looking for freebies.

X+2)DM: *Right as the giant is about to finish you off, out of nowhere, a figure appears riding a magnificient steed and engages the foe in single combat. After a few round of combat, the giant falls to the ground dead. The figure approaches you and introduces himself: I'm DMPC. I'm here because you PCs hog too much spotlight time and the DM would rather be playing than DMing. Besides, I'm obviously so cool that you couldn't possibly decline my help.

X+3 (and the worst of a bad lot of eye rollers... this actually happened): DM (female who's going out with player 5): Every attack against this *BBEG* don't work and all your spells fail as well. He attacks Player 1. How much life do you have left?
Player 1: 10 HP...
DM: Ouch... he hit you for 11 damage putting you at -1.
Player 2,3,4: I guess I'll try to find someplace to hide.
DM: Ok. He finds you all and casts a spell.
Player 4: I succeeded my spellcraft check up to level 9 spells. What's he casting?
DM: You don't know. It's a spell you've never encountered before. Everyone's suddenly paralyzed. Player 5 finally reaches the battle. *A long 45 minute conversation between the BBEG and Player 5 goes on*.

Somehow *DM FIAT* only player 5 was able to save the day, and he does. He also rescues the DM's NPC, who falls madly in love with him. He gets all shocked when the rest of players are less than gratefull for the rescue... Player 3 was the most vocal about how crappy the encounter was, and ended getting killed the next fight. Most of us left the game after that session.

AKA_Bait
2008-01-04, 01:17 PM
Vanquishing the x commander of the approaching horde causes the horde to disband and head back where it came from rather than just replacing the old leadership and continuing on.

The King's court is entirely populated by evil backstabbing nobles all looking to get the throne rather than 10% of those and 90% fops who like to dress nice and mooch off the king.

Tengu
2008-01-04, 01:26 PM
Cliche: the wizard is frail, weak, and disdainful of physical labour. Hey, in the real world, plenty of nerds and tech types are into martial arts and keeping in shape. Wizards may dump STR fairly often, but if they've opted for a CON bonus they might as well see the value of a brisk walk...

I pity da fool wizard who dumps CON!

Because it's hard to reach the levels where you're Batman when at lower ones a cone falling on your head brings you into negatives.

Surfing HalfOrc
2008-01-04, 01:57 PM
Explaination of how a college educated wizard met up with two fighters, one a barbarian warrior from the Northlands, the other a Paladin of Goody-Two Shoes, a teenage rogue on the run from the thieves' guild, a priest from an entirely different religion than the paladin's, and a random PC created just to fill in any needed skills. Usually a multiclass rogue/bard/sorcorer...

"Uh, we all met in a tavern one night, and decided to become professional adventurers."

Of course, it's not just Players who have cliche'd beginnings.

DMs who start adventures with:

"You enter a tavern. Greasy candles dimly light the room. Near the back corner is a mysterious old man. He beckons to you..."

"You wake up in a large, empty room. You have no memory of how you got there..."

Or my old standby:

"There is a caravan of merchants heading across the desert/mountains/swamps, and they are hiring guards. You need a job." (What can I say? I used that one back in the 1980's with "B4, The Lost City.")

Deepblue706
2008-01-04, 02:03 PM
Cliches:

Child Prodigy

Trained By A Master

Ancestor was a Hero

Choosing Tiefling or Dark Elf when choosing an "Evil" alignment, or trying to impress people.

Paladins falling from grace

My town got burned down
+And Imma kill those chumps if I find them
+And I might go through an alignment change because I'm enjoying the killing
+And of course that constitutes an immediate alignment change! It's not like I just might make a mistake like that, and then later regret it - no, it means I'm crazy and evil now.
+Shut up, it's my character. I don't care if you think it makes no sense.

Craig1f
2008-01-04, 02:04 PM
Heh. Quite funny if he actually was serious he could do it. If so, he needs to watch less fantasy/anime/kung-fu movies.

? ) Dwarf with a scottish (or scottish -ish) accent.

Regarding the above post, why someone is either big and stupid or weak and smart. All good when you need balance of somekind (like DnD). But many apply this "rule" to the real world or for stories (where everything is DM fiat of sorts).

Pshhh, I don't know what you're on about. Leonardo could slice through light-posts with his katana blades.

Turtle Power!

Lamoid
2008-01-04, 03:00 PM
Hi, my name is Conrad Black.

Well, it almost works with anything, dunnit? :smallsmile:

Relying on an internet fourms knowledge of current events? Psht! Rookie mistake. :smallwink: .

Yes I called it an "internet" fourm, I guess this is to distinguish it from ancient roman fourms or something. I dont know.

Collin152
2008-01-04, 03:13 PM
Barbarian Mad Libs!

Hi, my name is Vasch RedBlood . I am a human from a barbarian village far to the deep south . My Gold was destroyed by a kobold raid when I was -5 . I escaped into the Ocean , where I was raised by Nixies . I now wander the wastes, Great- Rapier in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my Gold . I love to drink martinis . The real stuff, mind you, not the martinis that the puny dwarves drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n fox . Fear my battlecry, Great Scott !

Hm. I think it works.



In all fairness, one would expect rootless individuals filled with youthful optimism and recklessness to be overrepresented in the adventurer pool.

Cliche: the wizard is frail, weak, and disdainful of physical labour. Hey, in the real world, plenty of nerds and tech types are into martial arts and keeping in shape. Wizards may dump STR fairly often, but if they've opted for a CON bonus they might as well see the value of a brisk walk...

My wizard was a carpenter before he learned magic.
Which leads me to the next cliché:
PC's diddn't used to do anything. They've always been preparing for their succesful career as an adventurer, whether they knew it or not.

Timmit
2008-01-04, 03:29 PM
I rather like Drizzt but his clones tick me off. Nothing against good drow, only if they at least try to be unique
from
EE
A long time ago I used to play a (neutral) dark elf swashbuckler/three musketeers type fighter, but had to abandon him when Jarlaxle appeared in Salvatore's books :smallmad:

Collin152
2008-01-04, 04:21 PM
A long time ago I used to play a (neutral) dark elf swashbuckler/three musketeers type fighter, but had to abandon him when Jarlaxle appeared in Salvatore's books :smallmad:

Obviously you were copied. You must exact your vengeance, posthaste!

Doomsy
2008-01-04, 05:09 PM
Cliches:

Choosing Tiefling or Dark Elf when choosing an "Evil" alignment, or trying to impress people.



Choosing Tiefling or Dark Elf when you're playing *any* non-evil alignment so you can whine about being misunderstood or outcast.


Choosing Tiefling deliberately so you can play a good misunderstood character because some rat bastard in the group grabbed a CG Drow ranger before you.

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-04, 05:09 PM
How cliched would a Lawful Evil, Mephistopheles worshiping high elf necromancer/blade scholar with an Ozymandias (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ozymandias_(comics)) complex be?

What, doesn't anyone have a comment on this NPC?

Collin152
2008-01-04, 05:24 PM
Mephitopholes cares not for worshippers!
Doom speaks in the Third Person!

Tengu
2008-01-04, 05:28 PM
What, doesn't anyone have a comment on this NPC?

Everything has been done before, and the trick is to combine the tropes to make an interesting character or story. I'd say your seems to be one, but I don't like evil character so I won't say that out of spite. :yuk:

Lamoid
2008-01-04, 05:43 PM
EVERYTHING has been done tengu? Well, what about this new guy I just thought up, he's a black raven guy BUT he's also a left handed samurai and his... Dangit!

Collin152
2008-01-04, 05:53 PM
Hmmm. I know! A treasure hunter who uses a whip!

What about a... hmmm.... a Barbarian who isn't savage, just able to release his inhibitions? Say... a woman... a noble... who uh... Uses a rapier. And flys into a rage of... anger. And swiftness.

Lamoid
2008-01-04, 05:58 PM
No no no how about there's this ELF and he doesnt get along with this DWARF party member! They can insult each other to no end! Here's the twist though, they actually become FRIENDS later on! WOAH! Write this down write this down.

Wooter
2008-01-04, 05:59 PM
Pshhh, I don't know what you're on about. Leonardo could slice through light-posts with his katana blades.

Turtle Power!

Ninjaken. Leonardo used ninjaken.

Lolzords
2008-01-04, 06:04 PM
"Yes, it's perfectly acceptable to murder everyone in the bar and make them into beer and pour it on my face before breaking into a house at night and eating all the occupants because I'm Chaotic Neutral!"

Collin152
2008-01-04, 06:07 PM
Eew, corpse-ale.

osyluth
2008-01-04, 06:57 PM
Hey, Drizzot D'Uden is a totally orginal character, he is just a dark elf who has been rejected by his people and must live a tragic anst filled life




No, he is. Drizzt's popularity is what made that a cliche.

FlyMolo
2008-01-04, 07:17 PM
After all, nobody makes a bunch of cheap knockoffs of any of the characters I make.

EvilElitest
2008-01-04, 07:22 PM
No, he is. Drizzt's popularity is what made that a cliche.

Not Drizzt, Drizzot, my dark elf ranger who is out cast for being a good dark elf ranger:smallwink:, a second cousin twice removed of Drizzt
from
EE

Worira
2008-01-04, 07:41 PM
Of course a katana can cut through solid rock. It's all a matter of Power Attacking for full.

SurlySeraph
2008-01-04, 07:53 PM
I am Chaotic Good, so everything that I do is good, even if it isn't, because I'm doing it my way and being free and upholding my beliefs and being good in my own respective idiom. If you disagree, I'll order the cute little woodland creatures to kill you and gnaw on your bones, since all Chaotic Good characters have a deep connection to Nature despite the fact that they can't be Druids because they're Chaotic Good.

I am Lawful Evil. All the times I help people mean that I'm just Lawful, not Good, as long as I kick a beggar or act haughty from time to time.

I am an awakened half-unicorn platypus Sorcerer / Barbarian/ Archivist. I chose this character concept so that I can explore the deep social and philosophical dilemmas that such a person would face in modern society, what with the widespread racism against platypi, the intolerant refusal of most people to believe in unicorns or talking animals, and the unfair and prejudiced belief that illiterate people are not good at studying written materials. :smallwink:

Collin152
2008-01-04, 08:06 PM
Of course a katana can cut through solid rock. It's all a matter of Power Attacking for full.

That only works if you were targeting the guy in front of it.

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-04, 08:09 PM
Everything has been done before, and the trick is to combine the tropes to make an interesting character or story. I'd say your seems to be one, but I don't like evil character so I won't say that out of spite. :yuk:

This (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65463) is my Curirthir thread. He's meant almost solely to be an enemy to the party. Cuirithir's philosophy can be explained very simply with these two questions. Is it truly moral to deny someone good health, long life and greater skill and power than they would other wise have by caving into their own willful refusal of these gifts? Is it truly righteous to set aside the greater good for the life and well being of one person?

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-04, 08:12 PM
Mephitopholes cares not for worshippers!
Doom speaks in the Third Person!

This is a different Mephistopheles and I'm not talking about Doctor Doom.

Chronicled
2008-01-04, 08:20 PM
This (http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=65463) is my Curirthir thread. He's meant almost solely to be an enemy to the party. Cuirithir's philosophy can be explained very simply with these two questions. Is it truly moral to deny someone good health, long life and greater skill and power than they would other wise have by caving into their own willful refusal of these gifts? Is it truly righteous to set aside the greater good for the life and well being of one person?

This is a thread to discuss character cliches, not for reviewing a particular NPC.

Worira
2008-01-04, 08:28 PM
That only works if you were targeting the guy in front of it.

Power Attack doesn't have to be used on creatures.

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-04, 08:37 PM
This is a thread to discuss character cliches, not for reviewing a particular NPC.

I'm sorry about that, but is he too cliched?

Tengu
2008-01-04, 08:44 PM
I stopped asking myself "is it cliche? Should I make it less cliche?" ages ago. Just pick what makes the story or character more interesting, no matter how cliche it is - even a complete dead horse can be refreshing when used in a good way.

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-01-04, 08:51 PM
"I am a Barbarian/Frenzied Berzerker. My background is 'WTFPWNZORGRAMZ J00'. My name is 'Barb'. I don't know or care where I came from, nor do I care if I will TPK my entire party, but I can dish out hundreds of damage a round, and can pwn j00!"

"I am a Wizard(Abjuration spec, banning Evoc and Enchantment)/Master Specialist/Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil/Archmage. My name and background are irrelevant because nothing can stand up to me. I eat gods for breakfast, and make the rest of the party look like less than even sidekicks as I can guarentee that all my stuff will happen before they get a chance to act, even if they win initiative, and nothing can possibly hurt me because of well-worded Contengencies and my Indigo Veil I can bring up."

Yes, because clearly character background and roleplaying must take a back seat to character optimization...

Decoy69
2008-01-04, 11:01 PM
Originally Posted by ShneekeyTheLost

"I am a Feral/Barbarian/Ftr/Rgr/Frenzied Berzerker. My background is 'A Wizard did it.'. My name is Blitz. I don't know or care where I came from, nor will i notice if I will TPK my entire party, but I can break reinforced iron vault doors, and cannot be killed!"

D'oh, I just played that in a once off campaign, although I was the only character out of 6 that didn't try to kill another PC.

Fun though... :D

EntilZha
2008-01-04, 11:22 PM
to touch on the katana issue, I remember argueing with an anime fan, he claimed that a samurai sword could cut through any other weapon. I proceeded to give him a lesson on Japans crappy ore and why the blades were so thin, to which he replied "Its a precision weapon!"
Tell it to my claymore

The anime fan you mentioned obviously never saw the MythBusters episode about this subject. Katana can cut through any other weapon--Busted.

The Faceless
2008-01-04, 11:29 PM
The anime fan you mentioned obviously never saw the MythBusters episode about this subject. Katana can cut through any other weapon--Busted.
A tank is a weapon, can a katana cut through that?

Falconer
2008-01-04, 11:31 PM
Nope. Hence the "Busted"

MCerberus
2008-01-04, 11:33 PM
My name is Badass McAwesome. I wear all black and act all mysterious like. Everything I do is based around what would look cool, making my character's personality transcend 1 dimensionalness to where it's only a 1/2 D character, but it's SOOOOOOOOOOOO cool.

Falconer
2008-01-04, 11:36 PM
I'm a druid/ranger and I was raised by animals so I love trees and all animals like me and I'd never hurt the forest and ... (insert more stuff out of "Snow White" here).

Now that I think of it, it's kinda like the Giant's Fey Druid run rampant

OR

Yes, I am a necromancer, but even though I enslave souls and create minions from rotting corpses, I use them to help old ladies across the street and get kittens out of trees and save orphans from burning buildings, even though all of them were permenantly traumatized by the experience. I'm a good guy. Really.

Goats_o_Mjolnir
2008-01-04, 11:44 PM
"I am a Dwarf, therefore I must be a raging alcholic who replaces any chance of drinking water with the whisky in my hip flask"
or

"I am an Elf, my gender is irrelevant, for I am superior to you and still pull off these tight tights, I undoubtly always have a bow no matter what class I am"
also

*nominates to be stickied*

Archpaladin Zousha
2008-01-04, 11:54 PM
I'm a rogue, therefore I must dress all in leather, preferrably black, pick the pockets of everyone in the tavern, even if they don't have anything in them or if they don't even have pockets and only care about money.

I'm a halfling, therefore I must dress all in leather, preferrably black, pick the pockets of everyone in the tavern, even if they don't have anything in them or if they don't even have pockets and only care about money.

I'm an assassin, therefore I must dress all in leather, prefferably black, stab the backs of everyone in the tavern, even if they are already dead or if they aren't even people and only care about stabbing things.

an kobold
2008-01-05, 12:17 AM
You enter the room of the evil lord's lair to see that you have already been seen by a man in red robes who is stroking a goatee and chuckling menacingly.

Collin152
2008-01-05, 12:30 AM
Power Attack doesn't have to be used on creatures.

No, but if you're power attacking for that much, you couldn't possibly hit what you were aiming for.
Or, the katana is Just That Long.

Dhavaer
2008-01-05, 12:41 AM
No, but if you're power attacking for that much, you couldn't possibly hit what you were aiming for.
Or, the katana is Just That Long.

You could take a full round action to automatically hit.

SurlySeraph
2008-01-05, 12:51 AM
I'm sorry about that, but is he too cliched?

So that you will no longer feel the need to ask: no, he is not clichéd at all. Next.


No, but if you're power attacking for that much, you couldn't possibly hit what you were aiming for.
Or, the katana is Just That Long.

Brick walls generally aren't too hard to hit, no matter what you're power attacking for.


Yes, I am a necromancer, but even though I enslave souls and create minions from rotting corpses, I use them to help old ladies across the street and get kittens out of trees and save orphans from burning buildings, even though all of them were permenantly traumatized by the experience. I'm a good guy. Really.

I haven't seen many necromancers like that. I did play an LG necromancer once, but I didn't raise dead and I only enslaved souls as a form of debtor's prison (as in trapping a minor villain in a gem until I can arrange for him to make up for his crimes); most of the time I just poked people with vampiric touch and suchlike. But you just can't deny the visceral appeal of "Go, my undead minions! Go save the children!" :smallbiggrin:

Fiery Diamond
2008-01-05, 01:04 AM
Quote by the most awesome poster on this thread:

I stopped asking myself "is it cliche? Should I make it less cliche?" ages ago. Just pick what makes the story or character more interesting, no matter how cliche it is - even a complete dead horse can be refreshing when used in a good way.

There isn't anything that isn't a cliche any more, unless it's because the concept is too moronic for someone to have thought of before. But even that falls under the definition of cliche that some of these posters have. Therefore, if the concept works, fits, and ya like it, use it.

Besides, the red-haired female fighter is awesome, so long as she kicks any man's face in who makes advances instead of being a temptress or exhibitionist or something. I've got a character in a role-play who is a mage-type and she's one of the brawling kind of people. CG with great emphasis on chaotic, but not ignoring the good, is awesomeness incarnate.

-Fiery Diamond

bugsysservant
2008-01-05, 01:58 AM
This is a thread to discuss character cliches, not for reviewing a particular NPC.

No, This Is SPARTA! Or maybe Beowulf. I really probably shouldn't have skipped reading the OP. Or bringing up the most cliched line of the year in a thread about cliches...

Worira
2008-01-05, 02:05 AM
Yeah, a brick wall has an AC of 3. A barbarian should have an AB of +>3 while power attacking for full.

dyslexicfaser
2008-01-05, 03:42 AM
Has this (http://www.feartheboot.com/comic/default.aspx?c=23) fella (http://www.feartheboot.com/comic/default.aspx?c=24) been mentioned yet?

malagigi
2008-01-05, 04:26 AM
From the offices of WotC- Bards, they're like actors, right? Actors are basically paid liars, so bards can't be lawful.

Thereby compleatly precluding the ability to play a bard as they existed in reality or mythology. :annoyed: Bards were the lore keepers, and the lore was the law - Bards were not only curse wielding judges but an entire law library that they passed on in strict oral tradition.
What about this says non-lawful?

Smeik
2008-01-05, 01:44 PM
I am an awakened half-unicorn platypus Sorcerer / Barbarian/ Archivist. I chose this character concept so that I can explore the deep social and philosophical dilemmas that such a person would face in modern society, what with the widespread racism against platypi, the intolerant refusal of most people to believe in unicorns or talking animals, and the unfair and prejudiced belief that illiterate people are not good at studying written materials. :smallwink:


Wow. That ahs to be one of the weirdest builds i've ever seen. I applaud to you. I so have to copy it now. xD



Hi, my name is Harald MagentaDeath. I am a gnome from a barbarian village far to the north of the 6th layer of hell. My beard was destroyed by a dwarven raid when I was 6 less than twelve. I escaped into the 7th layer of hell , where I was raised by devils. I now wander the wastes, Great- butter knife in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my beard. I love to drink cidre . The real stuff, mind you, not the cider that the puny elves drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a/n colibri. Fear my battlecry, Besancon!

How cliched is a dwarven ranger who can shoot better than an elf, but uses only black powder weapons to do so?

ShneekeyTheLost
2008-01-05, 02:00 PM
How cliched is a dwarven ranger who can shoot better than an elf, but uses only black powder weapons to do so?

Depends on how much WoW you've been playing lately...

Duke Malagigi
2008-01-05, 03:20 PM
So that you will no longer feel the need to ask: no, he is not clichéd at all. Next.

Thank you. That's it for now really.

Konig
2008-01-05, 05:46 PM
"I am a Dwarf, therefore I must be a raging alcholic who replaces any chance of drinking water with the whisky in my hip flask"

Reminds me of Dwarf Fortress, where dwarfs can, do & prefer to (benefit to mood/happiness) drink alcohol to water.

ZeroNumerous
2008-01-06, 02:57 AM
"...I undoubtly always have a bow no matter what class I am"

This actually is true. Remember, Elves are always proficient in longbows.

EvilElitest
2008-01-06, 01:28 PM
This actually is true. Remember, Elves are always proficient in longbows.

Goes with the elves
from
EE

MorkaisChosen
2008-01-06, 02:12 PM
There's a difference between "cliche" and "racial trait". The reason every elf has a bow is because, in the fluff, just about every elf has a bow.

MorkaisChosen
2008-01-06, 02:13 PM
There's a difference between "cliche" and "racial trait". The reason every elf has a bow is because, in the fluff, just about every elf has a bow.

Worira
2008-01-06, 03:34 PM
Yeah, if that's a cliche, so are halflings being good at chucking stuff, dwarves being hard to poison, and half-orcs being strong.

horseboy
2008-01-06, 08:58 PM
No, This Is SPARTA! Or maybe Beowulf. I really probably shouldn't have skipped reading the OP. Or bringing up the most cliched line of the year in a thread about cliches...

No, THIS IS 9000!!!

mMMM. I love mixing cliches.

Zarrexaij
2008-01-06, 10:39 PM
Here's a one in recent years:

the mindflayer paladin.

"Everyone hates me becuz mah speesheez eets baynes!"

Rama_Lei
2008-01-06, 11:14 PM
http://thenoobcomic.com/daily/strip245.html
http://thenoobcomic.com/daily/strip248.html
This somes up most of the cliches

Swordguy
2008-01-06, 11:16 PM
Every single character ever played is a cliche of SOMETHING or another - the only question is whether or not the player is aware of what he's ripping off.

Second, on what a katana can or can't cut through, I reference you to this (http://www.alderac.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=65&t=60685&start=0) (I really really wish I could just attach the file):

Just read the first three posts - the rest deal with L5R game mechanics. Also note the poster of said essay and his fine choice of handle...

Accersitus
2008-01-06, 11:27 PM
Explaination of how a college educated wizard met up with two fighters, one a barbarian warrior from the Northlands, the other a Paladin of Goody-Two Shoes, a teenage rogue on the run from the thieves' guild, a priest from an entirely different religion than the paladin's, and a random PC created just to fill in any needed skills. Usually a multiclass rogue/bard/sorcorer...

"Uh, we all met in a tavern one night, and decided to become professional adventurers."

Of course, it's not just Players who have cliche'd beginnings.

DMs who start adventures with:

"You enter a tavern. Greasy candles dimly light the room. Near the back corner is a mysterious old man. He beckons to you..."

"You wake up in a large, empty room. You have no memory of how you got there..."

Or my old standby:

"There is a caravan of merchants heading across the desert/mountains/swamps, and they are hiring guards. You need a job." (What can I say? I used that one back in the 1980's with "B4, The Lost City.")

Don't forget the classic: You are all in prison. About to be executed and
saved by luck in one form or another, or someone approaches you in
your cell with a proposition to get you out if you "start main plot"

Accersitus
2008-01-06, 11:37 PM
16)

17) "I deflect the bullet/bolt with my sword..."
Okay, ignoring the fact that there is a very high chance of your weapon being irrevocably damaged from this tactic, no person has the reflexes to do that kind of thing- at least not while in the middle of combat. There is a reason armor was invented.


With the Deflect Arrows feat it's only a DC 20 + enchantment bonus
reflex save, so in D&D this one can work with a little help from the DM.
That's quite doable for several classes with the feat, and a few lvls.
Only need a cinematic house rule that you deflect it with the sword
as long as you have one free hand.

Hypothetical
2008-01-07, 06:31 PM
My personal favorite cliche can be be summed up in two words.

"Leeeeeee-rooooyyyyyy Jeeeeeennnnn-kiiiinnnnnns"!

AKA : The stupid idiot who comes back from a bathroom break during which the GM has been setting a good scene for the other players, and jumps into a battle before anyone else knows WTF is going on.

Aquillion
2008-01-08, 01:33 AM
18)"My parents were killed by..."ME: "...A dragon, which I swore to kill on the blade of my father."

YOU: Uh-huh. :smallsigh:

ME: "Unfortunately, while I was mastering the sword (or at least attaining gross proficiency with the sword, combined with a single point of BAB and one fighter bonus feat), the dragon was killed by someone else. For that reason, I adventure to earn enough money to Resurrect it, so I can kill it again and fufill my oath."

YOU: Why don't you... resurrect your parents? :smallconfused:

ME: ... ... ...

ME: Shut up. :smallannoyed:

...actually, the "resurrect your parents" question works with any avenge-their-death plotline. Honestly, D&D's revolving-door-afterlife ruins a lot of things...

MorkaisChosen
2008-01-09, 10:59 AM
Hi, my name is Paxman Greysuit. I am a Human from a barbarian village far to the South . My sanity was destroyed by a politician raid when I was 11 . I escaped into the London area , where I was raised by BBC journalists . I now wander the wastes, Great- cutting remark in hand, hoping to vanquish the ones who destroyed my sanity . I love to drink water. The real stuff, mind you, not the water that the puny daytime TV hosts drink. I'm always up for a good fight. I'm not that smart, but I'm strong as a mouse. Fear my battlecry, "You may not confer"!

Hooray for Brit humour.

SpikeFightwicky
2008-01-09, 12:43 PM
"I am a (Always evil, always super attractive race), but because of (corny circumstance, probably involving a paladin that ended up getting killed), I am now dedicated to the cause of good"

- You never see a player that wants to play a good Vrock or Bearded devil. It's almost always going to be a physically attractive specimen (95%Succubus, 4% Erinyes, with a 1% margin of error).

EvilElitest
2008-01-11, 08:28 PM
"I am a (Always evil, always super attractive race), but because of (corny circumstance, probably involving a paladin that ended up getting killed), I am now dedicated to the cause of good"

- You never see a player that wants to play a good Vrock or Bearded devil. It's almost always going to be a physically attractive specimen (95%Succubus, 4% Erinyes, with a 1% margin of error).

How coudl you forget drow?
from
EE

Tobrian
2008-01-16, 08:56 PM
On Drizzt Do'Urden and his fanboys:
Yes, but his umpteen ZILLION clones, however, are somewhat less original.
May I direct you to this comic:
http://www.elfonlyinn.net/d/20040322.html
:smallbiggrin:

Guancyto
2008-01-17, 01:44 AM
Drizzt? Original?

The only thing that differentiates him from the older form of the cliche (good Saracen, good Native American, etc.) is that his race is really truly a bunch of evil maniacs, and that's not R.A. Salvatore's doing.

While we're here, though, how about monster races who are always dumb, evil, violent, well-armed and attack on sight? Couldn't they be farmers or masons or hunters? Maybe (if you absolutely must have them be enemies) raiding human settlements to boost the sinking price of grain or something, instead of 'we kills da pinkies and takes dere stuff'?

Khanderas
2008-01-17, 02:30 AM
Drizzt? Original?

The only thing that differentiates him from the older form of the cliche (good Saracen, good Native American, etc.) is that his race is really truly a bunch of evil maniacs, and that's not R.A. Salvatore's doing.
Eh, by that argument everything has already been done. A wise old man who may or may not be a wizard ? Oh Tolkiens Gandalf copy !
Hero destined before time begun to save the world... must mean they read the Belgariad. Cursed by the gods... clear copy off Odysseys.

It is the clones of Drizzt that is the problem. And of that, there are many :smallsigh:

Guancyto
2008-01-17, 02:56 AM
'Decrepit old wizard' is indeed a cliche. 'Hero destined to save the world' is, in fact, a cliche, as are a lot of prophecy-related shenanigans. 'Cursed by the gods' isn't really cliche anymore, if only for lack of a pantheon made entirely of petty manchildren. Yes, even the women.

That said, I didn't say he was a cliche character (though you could make that argument), just that he wasn't an original one. :smalltongue: You write me a plot about a guy (or maybe a starship?) having a lot of adventures while trying to get home, I'm not going to commend your plot type, I'm going to look at what you do with it.

Narmoth
2008-01-17, 04:49 AM
Katana are just swords of a certain shape with a peculiar forging method - the crappy Japanese ore (and its rarity) is the reason for the whole folding-thing which mitigated some of its disadvantages. That said, some well-made katana could cleave stone if applied properly - as could a zweihander in similar circumstances. The fanboyism associated with katana and the myriad anime fans who glorify it make me wish I didn't think they were so cool.:smallfrown:

Actually, the same folding was used in Damascus, making a Damascan blade the best sword in Euriope and the Middle East.
Then again, theress stones, and then there's stones: I could cleave some types of stone with an axe. Or a hammer. Or another stone for that matter.
In a culture employing sandstone rather than marble for their buildings, the stone get's chopepd more regulary


Oh by the by, my games do have a NPC named Bob, Bob the goblin, personal assistant to the Big Bad

What about Alf* the Elf. What really made this characters name was that:
1 - We play in norwegian
2 - it was an npc that needed a name, and the dm didn't bother to even pretend thinking up a name for him


* = as we all know, alf is norse for elf

Another fun npcs was the old wizard who missed the old (now dissapeared)king.
Especially at nighttime :smalltongue: