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View Full Version : The Pervert of the Oozes



Jack Zander
2008-01-04, 02:58 AM
Why is a gray ooze the only one that destroys clothing? I had an encounter set up with one for my players the other day, and right when I was reading up on what happened when a player failed their Reflex save, I realized that the female elf wizard in the party was about to show some skin. Furthermore, there aren't any rules on how much clothing gets dissolved (I ruled that only her leggings from the knees down and her boots were dissolved, and if she didn't break free in 1 round it would creep up and dissolve most everything).

But the main thing I want to know is why is the gray ooze such a pervert?

Talic
2008-01-04, 03:02 AM
Why is a gray ooze the only one that destroys clothing? I had an encounter set up with one for my players the other day, and right when I was reading up on what happened when a player failed their Reflex save, I realized that the female elf wizard in the party was about to show some skin. Furthermore, there aren't any rules on how much clothing gets dissolved (I ruled that only her leggings from the knees down and her boots were dissolved, and if she didn't break free in 1 round it would creep up and dissolve most everything).

But the main thing I want to know is why is the gray ooze such a pervert?

It's not. It has no eyes. The PC's who ogle her, however, are.

Jack Zander
2008-01-04, 03:04 AM
But it does have blindsight. Although that works much differently than eyesight does.

Nebo_
2008-01-04, 03:07 AM
Oozes like to grapple. Maybe the grey ones want to cop a feel?

Admiral Squish
2008-01-04, 03:16 AM
But it does have blindsight. Although that works much differently than eyesight does.

Oh, gods, that works by scent! I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Xefas
2008-01-04, 03:27 AM
Wow, reminds me of an Incubus Sorcerer I employed during the last campaign...

Initially, I'd planned (stupidly) for it to be a succubus, but then realized that another session of "Ugly Men Hitting on the DM" was comin' round for that, so I made it an Incubus to ward them off.

Long story short, everyone ended up naked and covered in grease.

Anyway, they should really think of pairing those oozes with Displacer Beasts or similar...

Khanderas
2008-01-04, 03:35 AM
It's not. It has no eyes. The PC's who ogle her, however, are.
If I come across a naked nubile elvin maiden, I will ogle, or atleast sneak peek. Looking at women is not perverted. It's not nice when she doesn't want me to, but perverted is something else.
My perversions hail from other sources :D

VanBuren
2008-01-04, 03:44 AM
Whaaaat? It's a compliment!

BlackMage2549
2008-01-04, 03:48 AM
I don't see what the problem is, personally. If your touch dissolved clothing, would you NOT use it? I'd be the bane of my college!

"Don't bother wearing that shirt today, Cindy. BlackMage2549 will be coming in to class today, and you know how he is."

Talic
2008-01-04, 03:51 AM
If I come across a naked nubile elvin maiden, I will ogle, or atleast sneak peek. Looking at women is not perverted. It's not nice when she doesn't want me to, but perverted is something else.


No, looking at women isn't perverted. Taking advantage of someone's helplessness to prevent it and peeping someone nude is.

I would say ogling people against their will, who are naked in public, and did not have control to prevent the situation, qualifies as an "abnormal sexual gratification", which is the definition of perversion.

Demented
2008-01-04, 04:33 AM
Regarding the ooze...
It's not actually that perverted. If you let it have its way, it'll take off your clothing, your skin, your muscle, and soon your internal organs. There's nothing personal; it just wants to eat you in the only way it knows how.

So with that in mind, if your hypothetical female elf wizard suffers an unfortunate attack by grey ooze, you'll be seeing a side of her that usually isn't seen anywhere besides the surgery room.
If you want to ogle that, I'd say you've earned your "pervert" tag.

Khanderas
2008-01-04, 04:36 AM
Regarding the ooze...
It's not actually that perverted. If you let it have its way, it'll take off your clothing, your skin, your muscle, and soon your internal organs. There's nothing personal; it just wants to eat you in the only way it knows how.

So with that in mind, if your hypothetical female elf wizard suffers an unfortunate attack by grey ooze, you'll be seeing a side of her that usually isn't seen anywhere besides the surgery room.
If you want to ogle that, I'd say you've earned your "pervert" tag.
Mmmmm skinless leg. :smallamused:

Patashu
2008-01-04, 05:59 AM
Mmmmm skinless leg. :smallamused:

Not mmm blood and muscle and tissue and bone.

SurlySeraph
2008-01-04, 07:35 PM
Anyway, they should really think of pairing those oozes with Displacer Beasts or similar...

:eek:

:annoyed:

:furious:

SMITE ANIME-LIKE DEVIANCY!!!

Solo
2008-01-04, 07:37 PM
:eek:

:annoyed:

:furious:

SMITE ANIME-LIKE DEVIANCY!!!

For Great Justice!

In America.

Xefas
2008-01-04, 08:05 PM
:eek:

:annoyed:

:furious:

SMITE ANIME-LIKE DEVIANCY!!!

I think this may be the most valid argument for D&D resembling some kinds of anime.

They both have tentacles, oozes, and unnaturally frisky plant life. Not to mention the Belt of Masculinity/Femininity. Who knew it'd be this and not Shounen Fighting that D&D most resembled.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/0/03/Tangela.png

Solo
2008-01-04, 08:07 PM
Who knew it'd be this and not Shounen Fighting that D&D most resembled.


When I first read that, I thought you'd post something along the lines of tenticoo wape.

Xefas
2008-01-04, 08:29 PM
When I first read that, I thought you'd post something along the lines of tenticoo wape.

Well, that wouldn't really be appropriate. So...I posted the next best thing! Tangela!

Illiterate Scribe
2008-01-04, 08:36 PM
Well, that wouldn't really be appropriate. So...I posted the next best thing! Tangela!

As I said on the House of Horrors thread -

Welcome to /gitp/.

VanBuren
2008-01-05, 04:45 AM
I think this may be the most valid argument for D&D resembling some kinds of anime.

They both have tentacles, oozes, and unnaturally frisky plant life. Not to mention the Belt of Masculinity/Femininity. Who knew it'd be this and not Shounen Fighting that D&D most resembled.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/0/03/Tangela.png

Funny you should mention that, since Tite Kubo recently decided to blur the lines a little in Bleach.

Yes. That's right. He mixed Shonen with a touch of tentacle.

Jack Zander
2008-01-05, 05:03 AM
Regarding the ooze...
It's not actually that perverted. If you let it have its way, it'll take off your clothing, your skin, your muscle, and soon your internal organs. There's nothing personal; it just wants to eat you in the only way it knows how.

So with that in mind, if your hypothetical female elf wizard suffers an unfortunate attack by grey ooze, you'll be seeing a side of her that usually isn't seen anywhere besides the surgery room.
If you want to ogle that, I'd say you've earned your "pervert" tag.

But here's my original point: No other ooze dissolves clothing. It's only the gray ones that are perverted. Why can't it ignore the clothing like all the other oozes?

Admiral Squish
2008-01-05, 05:13 AM
But here's my original point: No other ooze dissolves clothing. It's only the gray ones that are perverted. Why can't it ignore the clothing like all the other oozes?

Incorrect! Black pudding also affect clothing and armor! HA!

Jack Zander
2008-01-05, 05:53 AM
Ah, I missed that. I stopped as soon as I saw that it affected metal but not stone, since the Gray Ooze lists clothing right away and the Black Ooze is more subtle about letting you know it's a pervert.

Newtkeeper
2008-01-05, 05:22 PM
Well, I'd say that the ooze isn't a pervert. To be a pervert, I think, you need to do things with *intent*. The ooze has INT 0, so has no more intent than a vial of acid, and we wouldn't call a vial of acid that dissolved your clothing perverted, would we?

No, the pervert is whoever uses it, and, whoever created it. Especially whoever specifically mentioned it dissolving clothing.

Starsinger
2008-01-05, 05:49 PM
Wow, reminds me of an Incubus Sorcerer I employed during the last campaign...

Initially, I'd planned (stupidly) for it to be a succubus, but then realized that another session of "Ugly Men Hitting on the DM" was comin' round for that, so I made it an Incubus to ward them off.

Long story short, everyone ended up naked and covered in grease.


The solution is to play with more attractive men. :smalltongue:

SexyOchreJelly
2008-01-05, 06:02 PM
Heeeeeeeeeey.... not ALL of us oozes are perverts.


*Hides g-string.*

Ralfarius
2008-01-05, 06:27 PM
A grey ooze dissolving your clothing is no more deviant or perverted than you licking the icing off a cupcake before jamming the rest into your mouth.

Foolosophy
2008-01-05, 06:32 PM
A grey ooze dissolving your clothing is no more deviant or perverted than you licking the icing off a cupcake before jamming the rest into your mouth.

and I know people who are capable of pulling off said examplein a very kinky way :p

Jack Zander
2008-01-05, 06:42 PM
Well, I'd say that the ooze isn't a pervert. To be a pervert, I think, you need to do things with *intent*. The ooze has INT 0, so has no more intent than a vial of acid, and we wouldn't call a vial of acid that dissolved your clothing perverted, would we?

No, the pervert is whoever uses it, and, whoever created it. Especially whoever specifically mentioned it dissolving clothing.

So it's all Lockwood's fault! (Or whichever one of them designed the oozes.)

Ralfarius
2008-01-05, 07:46 PM
and I know people who are capable of pulling off said examplein a very kinky way :p
Well, if the grey ooze gently globs up my leg and teases my earlobe with a splutter of its amorphous mass, gurgling sweet nothings to me as it caresses my flesh with its caustic surface... Then I'll begin to wonder if it has ulterior motives.

OverWilliam
2008-01-05, 07:53 PM
^ I hear there's a support group to such a cause. :smallamused:

Ralfarius
2008-01-06, 10:51 AM
I scrubbed and I scrubbed but they don't make water hot enough! :smalleek:

Irreverent Fool
2008-01-06, 11:04 AM
Gelatinous Cubes dissolve everything but stone and metal, don't they?

Ne0
2008-01-06, 11:13 AM
Gelatinous Cubes dissolve everything but stone and metal, don't they?

And suddenly, all the female adventurers wear a full plate. :smallwink:

Amiria
2008-01-06, 11:18 AM
Do you imply that male adventurers have nothing to hide ? :smallamused:
Maybe they are are like Ken from Barbie in your games ...

Ne0
2008-01-06, 11:20 AM
I know I don't, darling. :smallwink:
[/sexism]

lord_khaine
2008-01-06, 12:12 PM
So with that in mind, if your hypothetical female elf wizard suffers an unfortunate attack by grey ooze, you'll be seeing a side of her that usually isn't seen anywhere besides the surgery room.
If you want to ogle that, I'd say you've earned your "pervert" tag

so the solution would be hitting her with a heal spell, that for the addet benefit has a range of touch..

Drider
2008-01-06, 10:41 PM
so the solution would be hitting her with a heal spell, that for the addet benefit has a range of touch..

Would your hand be stuck INSIDE their leg if you did that?

Xefas
2008-01-06, 11:01 PM
Would your hand be stuck INSIDE their leg if you did that?

I can only assume that's half the fun.

Harlequin
2008-01-06, 11:21 PM
...And a thousand men wearing G-Strings under black trenchcoats rushed off to purchase as many Potions of Acid Resistance as they could, and that night a thousand elven maidens were stolen from their beds. The footprints found the next morning led to the slime pits...

Oh, goodness. Heal has a range of touch? This most certainly is not helping priest's reputations. "Your what hurts, Little Timothy?"

EDIT: We're all going to hell, aren't we.

SurlySeraph
2008-01-06, 11:27 PM
Alright, I'm calling the Celestial Inquisition on you deviants. There are very angry angels with flaming whips coming, and they are NOT going to use the whips the way you want them to.

@V: I am not going to stand here and listen to your heresies, pervert! SMITE PERHAPS-NOT-TRULY-EVIL-BUT-CERTAINLY-VERY-DISTURBING!

Xefas
2008-01-06, 11:31 PM
Alright, I'm calling the Celestial Inquisition on you deviants. There are very angry angels with flaming whips coming, and they are NOT going to use the whips the way you want them to.

Are you kidding me? A fifth of the inhabitants of the Upper Planes are Furries.

And I could have sworn there were stats for a Kink Archon somewhere...Tome of Magic?

Rutee
2008-01-07, 12:03 AM
EDIT: We're all going to hell, aren't we.

In a handbasket.

The best thing about the Heal Spells is playing a gay cleric. "Need... Aid... and... healing..... don't... tell.. the cleric...."

Tweaking people is fun!

RandomFellow
2008-01-07, 12:19 AM
In a handbasket.

The best thing about the Heal Spells is playing a gay cleric. "Need... Aid... and... healing..... don't... tell.. the cleric...."

Tweaking people is fun!
You mean a gay cleric that can only 'heal' people when touching their junk? That is fun times.

Demented
2008-01-07, 12:27 AM
Cleric's don't even have the worst of it.

Lay on Hands.
What do you do if someone makes an Awakened Grey Ooze Paladin?

Harlequin
2008-01-07, 12:33 AM
You run as fast as your little legs can carry you. The only thing worse than Chester the LG Molester's Lay On Hands is Chester the LG Ooze's Lay On Pseudopods.

Anyone care to envision what Heal through the gear would feel like? Ooh, tingly.

Rutee
2008-01-07, 12:35 AM
You mean a gay cleric that can only 'heal' people when touching their junk? That is fun times.

No, it was just a Gay Cleric. He wasn't feeling up his comrades or anything. The concept just made them /utterly/ uncomfortable.

RandomFellow
2008-01-07, 12:39 AM
No, it was just a Gay Cleric. He wasn't feeling up his comrades or anything. The concept just made them /utterly/ uncomfortable.

That is no fun. =0

DeathEatsCurry
2008-01-07, 06:18 AM
Wizards are more perverted than Clerics... Mage Hand... Telekinesis... Sleep (Guess what they use THAT for...) Actually the only class that DOESNT have something pervy is the monk.

shadow_archmagi
2008-01-07, 06:49 AM
What about the fighter?

This might just explain why everyone thinks they are gimped.

Illiterate Scribe
2008-01-07, 07:15 AM
Wizards are more perverted than Clerics... Mage Hand... Telekinesis... Sleep (Guess what they use THAT for...) Actually the only class that DOESNT have something pervy is the monk.

Uh, no. You know how monks can make an unarmed attack with any part of their body? Yeah.

Fishy
2008-01-07, 07:20 AM
I'm certain there's something you can do with the Living Spell template, and something from the BoEF.

Tempest Fennac
2008-01-07, 07:22 AM
What does a large amount of the upper plane's inhabitant's have to do with anything, Xefas? I thought I'd ask in case you were confusing furries with yiffers.

Xefas
2008-01-07, 08:20 AM
What does a large amount of the upper plane's inhabitant's have to do with anything, Xefas? I thought I'd ask in case you were confusing furries with yiffers.

Well, Seraph was talking about a Celestial Inquisition against this thread's perversion. I found it ironic, since Elysium is almost entirely populated by a race of Furries, which are the subject of a very far-reaching geek fetish.

Magnor Criol
2008-01-07, 08:29 AM
I'm certain there's something you can do with the Living Spell template, and something from the BoEF.

I'm not sure about any spells from BoED (I assume that's what you meant and that the F was a typo), but Mage Hand + living spell = mass of invisible gropeage?

Xefas
2008-01-07, 08:34 AM
I'm not sure about any spells from BoED (I assume that's what you meant and that the F was a typo), but Mage Hand + living spell = mass of invisible gropeage?

I believe the acronym was for "Book of Erotic Fantasy" not "Book of Exalted Deeds".

Magnor Criol
2008-01-07, 09:39 AM
I believe the acronym was for "Book of Erotic Fantasy" not "Book of Exalted Deeds".

Ooooohhhhhhhh.


....ew. Now that's an unsettling mental image.

Tormsskull
2008-01-07, 09:49 AM
Oh, goodness. Heal has a range of touch? This most certainly is not helping priest's reputations. "Your what hurts, Little Timothy?"


That's the funniest thing I've read all morning. :smallsmile:

Ferreon
2008-01-07, 05:06 PM
I'm not sure about any spells from BoED (I assume that's what you meant and that the F was a typo), but Mage Hand + living spell = mass of invisible gropeage?

I think he means the Grope spell (variant of mage hand, as it happens) which is from said book

or possibly Invisible Lover, but most likely grope