A comic I made for Homework

[Szilard]

A while ago I had to make a childrens book explaining the American Bill of Rights for history homework. I have decided to show it here, because I did it in OotS style.

cover

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/SzilardG/Coverpage.png

Page 1

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/SzilardG/Page1.png

Page 2

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/SzilardG/Page2.png

page 3

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/SzilardG/page3.png

Page 4

http://i227.photobucket.com/albums/dd233/SzilardG/Page4.png



Any coments?

[kpenguin]

Nice job. Nice job.

Will probably get turned to shreds by some legal fanatics out there, but nice job nonetheless.

[Almighty Salmon]

Nice work! Not a bad job at all.

Protection from Legal Fanatics!

[Szilard]

Well it is for... whered I put that paper? *looks through trash*... I threw the assignment paper away, but it was for 2nd or 3rd graders, and we didn't have to include everything, but I think I did due process wrong.

[Lyinginbedmon]

My ideas about American law have certainly been, in some way, vindicated, but other than a few misspellings here and there it looks alright

[Shas aia Toriia]

Not a legal fanatic, but you might not want to use "The End" at the end. Teachers view it as a poor way to wrap up something. Also, you might want to not use the word "stuff" as much as you did.

That is all for today.

[Nameless]

Not a legal fanatic, but you might not want to use "The End" at the end. Teachers view it as a poor way to wrap up something. Also, you might want to not use the word "stuff" as much as you did.

That is all for today.

But, this is a comic so all endings are accepted! :smalltongue:

Although you could have that dude at the end saying "And that's the end folks, remember to give us money, if you don't I will slowly mangle your face through a blender" Or something of that nature.

[Ichneumon]

Great comic.

About a possible ending, maybe something like this: "This was all people and remember: Pay your taxes on time."

[Illiterate Scribe]

I liked 'cruel and unusual punishment' in particular. :smallamused:

[mockingbyrd7]

It was funny, informative, OotS-style, and reader-friendly. A third grader could understand it but anyone could enjoy it. I felt that you over used the word "also" (try using "as well" after a sentence, "in addition" before one, "too" after one, etc.) but it was good and enjoyable in every other respect. Good job.

[Tengu]

Several typos, which will probably have a slightly negative impact on the comic as a homework. I can list them for you if you'd like.

Apart from that, very nice.

[Szilard]

I think I had many of the same two typos, I spelled Amendment with two m's on the first page and I spelled your instead of you're.