Well it made me chuckle so I thought I'd share.

[Charity]

Hi all
Someone sent me this lil gem, and it's been a while since we had one of these threads.
ahem

University Chemistry- True Story (allegedly)

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added:

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of the theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

The student received the only "A"

[Balkash]

Ya, someone emailed me that a while ago. I was taking Chem. at the time and it was hilarious. Thanks, I deleted the email and I actually wanted to sent it to someone, so I'll copy it from here. :smalltongue:

[MattKatt]

A similar story is the one of the philosophy student and his final exam. They all went in and where told to answer the question on the paper in 1,000 words or less and where given 2 hours to do it, and they could leave at any time before the end. When the exam beagn, all students turned over their papers to find one word typed at the top of the page: "Why?"

One student looks around breifly at all the other students writing furiously, looks down at his paper, wrote down his answer then got up and left after only 3 minutes in the hall. He was the only student to get a high grade. His answer: "Why not?"

[Arang]

A similar story is the one of the philosophy student and his final exam. They all went in and where told to answer the question on the paper in 1,000 words or less and where given 2 hours to do it, and they could leave at any time before the end. When the exam beagn, all students turned over their papers to find one word typed at the top of the page: "Why?"

One student looks around breifly at all the other students writing furiously, looks down at his paper, wrote down his answer then got up and left after only 3 minutes in the hall. He was the only student to get a high grade. His answer: "Why not?"

Everyone knows the single question on the philosophy exam is "What kind of job will you use your degree for?". This is why so many philosophers commit suicide.

[wadledo]

*tehee*
That is great.:smallbiggrin:

[RandomLogic]

I've seen a version of that chemistry question before, but it was a little more PG as it seemed more like a high school version. Either way the answer is fantastic.

Among these 'hilarious potentially true' stories about answers and stuff, look up a paper about Oedipus that is pretty fantastic.

[unstattedCommoner]

Everyone knows the single question on the philosophy exam is "What kind of job will you use your degree for?".

"Yours."

filler

[Hazkali]

I've seen both of these before, I think the chemistry answer is particularly brilliant (although I have my doubts over its authenticity). However if one of my lecturers set a question like that for an important piece of work/final exam then I think I would actually commit some sort of bodily harm upon their person. It's just not fair to place a question in front of someone that doesn't make it clear what sort of an answer is required, and if I've spent the last three weeks revising then I want the lecturer to take the exam as seriously as I.

Edit: Sorry about the rant, bringing the tone of the thread down...

[Dihan]

Reminds me of a question we had on a GCSE Physics paper.

"A man slips on a banana and falls off the Eiffel Tower. Calculate how long he has left to live."

[banjo1985]

Hehe nice...I wish I had been the kind of witty student who had the balls to write something like that in one of my papers :smallamused:

[The Unknown]

I've seen both of these before, I think the chemistry answer is particularly brilliant (although I have my doubts over its authenticity). However if one of my lecturers set a question like that for an important piece of work/final exam then I think I would actually commit some sort of bodily harm upon their person. It's just not fair to place a question in front of someone that doesn't make it clear what sort of an answer is required, and if I've spent the last three weeks revising then I want the lecturer to take the exam as seriously as I.

Edit: Sorry about the rant, bringing the tone of the thread down...

Philosophy is about asking, not answering.

[The_Chilli_God]

Unfortunately, I also doubt that these funny test answers were actually written down and/or given high marks for - I found two different versions of the same answer by the OP on two different places, so one of them had to be lying. I chose both.
As far as I know, being funny doesn't demonstrate the appropriate knowledge required to pass.

However, they're funny to read, which more than justifies us reading them. :smallbiggrin:

This was a similar situation which a friend told me, for a philosophy class again.
Question was, "Is this a question?"
One student wrote "If it is, then this is the answer."

[Jibar]

Heh, I showed that to my Chemistry teacher once, and after that he really liked me and my friend.
He was the same teacher who offered to sell us explosives. I miss him.


A similar story is the one of the philosophy student and his final exam. They all went in and where told to answer the question on the paper in 1,000 words or less and where given 2 hours to do it, and they could leave at any time before the end. When the exam beagn, all students turned over their papers to find one word typed at the top of the page: "Why?"

One student looks around breifly at all the other students writing furiously, looks down at his paper, wrote down his answer then got up and left after only 3 minutes in the hall. He was the only student to get a high grade. His answer: "Why not?"

Me and my friends were discussing today what would happen if you commit suicide in the middle of a philosophy exam with a cry of "Oh what's the point?"
I know wonder if it'd be possible to answer all the questions on the paper with references to Jedi and Sith without ever explicitly saying they're your subject.
"Explain a religion of your choice's view on birth control"
"My religion believes that any birth can result in a force sensitive religious child and so they all be given the option to be born. That is why Obi Wan their savoir let the children of the Dark Father be born"

[Supagoof]

Me and my friends were discussing today what would happen if you commit suicide in the middle of a philosophy exam with a cry of "Oh what's the point?" The roommate would get A's for the semester.


I know wonder if it'd be possible to answer all the questions on the paper with references to Jedi and Sith without ever explicitly saying they're your subject.
"Explain a religion of your choice's view on birth control"
"My religion believes that any birth can result in a force sensitive religious child and so they all be given the option to be born. That is why Obi Wan their savoir let the children of the Dark Father be born"
Heh...

Would also work with a Matrix theme -

Well, Neo our diety shows us that one isn't really born until they take the blue pill go through the procedure of birth. Since it's a controlled environment that we exist in, one persons choice to not have children simply routes a child to another programmed user person in the mainframe world.

[Castaras]

Now you're all making me sad that I didn't take RE so I could write those sort of answers. :smalltongue: :smallbiggrin: :smallwink:

Awesome. *notes down to show chemistry teacher* *although he'll probably have already seen it*

[Hazkali]

Philosophy is about asking, not answering.

But science is, which is why the chemistry question is so terrifying.

Dressing questions up is okay, such as the aforementioned banana/Eiffel Tower example; our Special Relativity lecturer used to use the Enterprise in his lectures. But to give a nonsense question and expect a decent answer is a bit mean.

[Trog]

So.... Teresa decides who goes to heaven and hell then? :smallconfused:

[Narmoth]

Everyone knows the single question on the philosophy exam is "What kind of job will you use your degree for?". This is why so many philosophers commit suicide.

I've seen another version of it, with "what is courage?" as the question.
The ansver was obviously "this is."

Talking with a friend we came to a similar test idea: "define lazyness"
:smallbiggrin:

[Metal Head]

Reminds me of a question we had on a GCSE Physics paper.

"A man slips on a banana and falls off the Eiffel Tower. Calculate how long he has left to live."

The exact amount of time it takes for an average person to hit the ground when falling of the Eiffel tower.

[Brickwall]

The exact amount of time it takes for an average person to hit the ground when falling of the Eiffel tower.

You know, considering the Eiffel Tower is sloped, he'll be hitting stuff all the way down. He might even live if the distance between impacts is fairly short. I would need his trajectory, where on the ET he's falling off, exact schematics, and knowledge of physics and medicine (to know what injuries would kill him how fast and stuff). I have none. The problem can't be completed.

[unstattedCommoner]

"A man slips on a banana and falls off the Eiffel Tower. Calculate how long he has left to live."

Under the reasonable assumptions that he was barefoot and allergic to bananas, he died immediately from anaphylactic shock.

[MattKatt]

The roommate would get A's for the semester.

Harsh, yet at the same time, true.

[blakyoshi7]

'Find X'
------^
there it is